#i don't have a consistent tagging system this year yet :/

[endlesslyhyperfixating]

I don't want people to just think that i'm a chronic shipper for the sake of shipping. Or that I don't "understand the point" of The Bear. Or all of my shipping habits is only in spite of the misogynoir-ist Bear fans who claim Sydney is annoying and therefore unlovable or undeserving of love.

It's because, she's such a beautifully fleshed-out character. She holds so much of herself back and doesn’t open her walls to anybody. She really only relies on her dad, and even then, she hates the feeling of someone worrying about her. And it's one of the realest qualities to any character I've ever had the pleasure of seeing and watching within a piece of media..

So yeah, okay, I ship Sydney with three different guys on the show (I see the SydRichie potential, SydLuca, c'mon they're cute, and OBVIOUSLY Sydcarmy..) (yes, you can LOL) because I think they could all bring her out of her shell in different ways.

And this is not in an “oh, she’s dependent on another person and the show is totally a romance” kinda way , and no not in a "I think in order for her character to be fully fleshed out she needs a romantic interest"— but in a way that recognizes romance is in fact a large part of most people’s lives. And as a well-written character, she deserves a well-written arc that includes her allowing herself to be loved. Cherished. Adored. The way she deserves. The way that she's denied herself. The way that she's closed herself off to. Time and time again. (Her dodging Carmen's obvious about-to-be-ask-out in season two, or the way that she blew off his "I like this" statement just this season)

She’s done so much good for every single one of the other characters. So yeah, fucking sue me if I think:

Luca and his charm and openness to learning and skill and flirtatiousness could make her more confident

Richie’s commitment to growth could open a space for real honesty between them and their connections growth to shift and become something more together (-this I'm kind eh on but I def see the appeal and the potential some of y'all have pointed out)

Or, (as my shameless favorite): Carmen.

Carmen, the damaged, youngest, most driven, most “I-have-something-to-prove-even-when-I-don’t,” the self-destructive and the caring, the altruistic yet insanely flawed young man, could grow alongside Sydney.

In what has the potential to be one of the most beautifully written dynamics in TV history.

The most complex, D1 yearner, and developed relationships to be told in a story already so deep and complex and human.

To have the upper middle-class Italian white youngest son, Carmen, with ambition and anger and years of pent-up emotion, to choose financially struggling Black woman, Sydney, who had to fight to become an absolutely, deliciously impressive chef in a predominantly white male industry. (meta tagged below) And for her to choose him back.

And to be together. Create together.

To hold each other (accountable, and in love)

in consistent apologies, and growth, and change, in discomfort and in the face of adversity.

To keep choosing each other.

To be each other’s partners.

And yeah, none of this is even from a technical or meta mind. This isn't an analysis or a deep set and heavily researched post to show you guys the evidence of how the show will show her love.. it's honestly just a rant at this point. I defend and love Sydney's character so hard and I believe so deeply she deserves the love she avoids and she deserves to be held and looked at longing and lovingly the way she really, already is. And to be okay with it and not only okay with it but to accept it and love it right back.

---

I alluded to a lot of ideas brought up in a couple metas I've read the past few days in this rant so I'll tag 'em here:

@whenmemorydies "system" works

@habaritess "I like this" was a confession

@yannaryartside "why Sydney is the bear..."

[thr0wnawayy]

Chapter 429 has been my Dabi's Dance

I can't stop smiling.

I wanted to start off by saying thank you. Not to Hori, but to you all. Every last one of you in these tags for your contributions. Be it analysis, re-reads, fan works or simply your perspectives. I look forward to seeing what you will make in the future.

So, Thank you.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. MHA was always in the background of my life and I hated it. I don't watch anime and yet still MHA related media would make it's way onto my socials in all it's obnoxious forms. This went on for years.

And then suddenly, it stopped. It seemed like MHA's craze had died down, I'd still see it from time to time through merchandise but never to the consistency it had prior.

That was until Dabi's Dance was published and the net went wild.

I knew a few things about Endeavor from my past exposure, he was universally hated and abused his kids and wife (to the point she scalded her son in a fit of psychosis).

Deciding I had nothing better to do, I found myself searching to see what kind of consequences would befall such a monstrous character.

Would he fall like Icarus, be torn apart by the public, how would the family he ruined react to the news?.

And then, nothing. No punishment, no reaction. Just dead air.

I recall that my face dropped internally. My blank expression mirrored my phone screen's sterile nature, as it displayed the information in front of me.

He got away with it. So I did some digging and it got so much worse.

Bakugo's evasion of any consequences or damages, coddled and shielded by Hori's inability to go through on anything.

Hawks who murdered a near crippled man on a hypothesis, for the mere crime of having the "wrong" quirk, for not giving up, for being "unlucky"

Aizawa, Hori's little mouthpiece. who decides to play judge, jury and executioner with the futures of students he's supposed to be teaching. Only for the Nedzu and the narrative to allow him, his friends turned into lapdogs that agree to the letter.

The Commission who strive to keep theirrotting husk of a system alive through assasins, child soldiers and indoctrination.

Even if it's gears must be lubricated with blood, even if it means lying to the world and having them clean up the mess. They MUST stay on top, the illusion must be upheld.

I just couldn't fathom how this was seen as a good thing.

And somewhere along the way I began to feel something akin to hate. Not your typical ire, one powered by anger, no.

I wanted to see how low Hori would go, just how horrifically he would mangle a series that everyone had once praised.

I wanted to witness what wonders a jaded community would create, to show what they were capable of (to create and understand MHA in a manner Hori wishes he could even emulate a fraction of)

I wished to see your own expressions of love and hatred.

The thought of witnessing the breaking point, the dust settling to expose all the glaring flaws and infested wounds of MHA. It buzzed in my brain like electricity.

The idea that when all was said and done, you, the people would do what Hori couldn't/wouldn't and forge the bones and salvagble bits of MHA into a story worth remembering.

One where abusers are punished for their crimes instead of rewarded

Where victims can have a voice, feel and grow, carve their own paths and move forward from their trauma.

Where the implications of MHA's rotting and disingenuous society get explored instead of swept under the rug

Where people get a chance.

I waited eagerly for the day it would all fall apart.

So, do you know what I did when I logged onto the tag and saw your posts!?.

I laughed, the shrill giggle in the back of my throat quickly surging into an almost manic cackle. It was like lightning, vindicating and sobering all at once. My face was stretched to it's absolute limits with how wide my grin was. I could almost hear the shattering of MHA's last bit of integrity and I loved it.

The realization MHA's greatest threat was the author himself, It's one that I grasped long ago (as far back as the Dark Dekiru Arc) and I'm sure most of you understood this as well.

But to see that more of you are starting to get it, to realize there's no going back. That as the curtains draw near and the lights begin to dim, there is no other side here. Violence begets violence and Hori's gone past the event horizon.

It feels, hopeful. Perhaps we can build something worth saving.

It's been a wild ride so far and it's still ongoing. Hori's time is long over, it has been for a while now, so I suppose what I'm asking Is:

Now It's Your Turn, what's your play?

_______________________________________

Update:

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!

[mania-sama]

january fic recs!

organization:

➼ fandom

✎ [Fic Name] by [Author] ❧ rating, word count (in progress tagged if work is not completed) ❧ relationship tags ❧ my description/notes ❧ Quotation

featured fandoms: voltron: legendary defender | jujutsu kaisen | haikyuu | harry potter | avatar: the last airbender | undertale | marvel cinematic universe

more of my fic recommendations: february | march | april | may

➼ voltron: legendary defender

✎ A Raven on the Path Home by artimess_chimes ❧ not rated, 31k ❧ keith/lance ❧ lance following the aftermath of the intergalactic war. the author does an amazing job of portraying depression from the depressed person's perspective. while lance does have a level of self-awareness that many people with mental illness do, the depression and ptsd override most of his common sense and relationality anyway. misery breeds misery; he does a very good job of behaving poorly and increasing his loneliness. and then he slowly owns up to his mistakes and rebuilds his support system that he had destroyed, but not without help. it's a really good personal growth journey with klance as a lovely addition to lance's behemoth of emotions ❧ Lynn looked at him unimpressed. “An insistence on independence is just using your own pride to deny yourself love.” 

✎ Asterism by idas_library ❧ mature, 92.0k (in progress) ❧ team voltron, keith/lance, allura/lotor, adam/shiro ❧ i REFUSE to believe that this is the author's first fanfiction, because this is ASTOUNDINGLY well done and indicative of years of writing. they must be an author outside of fanfiction. they must. anyway, the story follows the end of s1 when the wormhole gets screwed up, and instead of being in his lion and getting thrown into an ocean planet with hunk, lance is outside of his lion and gets tossed somewhere random. after almost dying in his suit in the middle of nowhere-space, he gets picked up by a galra outer ring outpost. cue a long, spiraling adventure to escape, and then the adventure beyond. not a single scene or OC is wasted (i would commit genocide for you, 697). of course, my whump-loving heart was cheering at the torture and whatnot, but none of it for nothing. everything has a purpose. the truly amazing part of this fic though is the very natural progression and growth of lance's character (much better than whatever the show had going on). he consistently uses his unique strengths to separate himself from the rest, and even though he is growing into a leadership role, he is just that: growing. there are chinks in his armor and a lot of path yet to travel, but the author is handling it phenomenally. it's impossible to tell where the story will go as of yet, but i have my theories. i am thoroughly impressed by the author's skill and the quality of this fic. ❧ That was the last good day, in Lance’s opinion. It was the last time his lungs ached from laughter, and the last time the tears in his eyes didn’t sting and the chill in the air didn’t quite reach his bones. It was the last good day for a long time.

➼ jujutsu kaisen

✎ adolescent dreams & adult screams by twinprimes ❧ teen and up, 15.2k ❧ fushiguro megumi & gojo satoru, getou suguru/gojo satoru ❧ grief and trauma take many forms, and when you're trying to raise a kid you have no blood relation to that is ALSO the child of the man you killed (and give you a boat-load of trauma), it's kind of hard to deal with them. it also shows how it was never really about protecting megumi from harmful information; it's how gojo struggles to reconcile with what happened to him, what he did, and how to talk about it. it's hard to answer questions when you don't know how to give an answer without hurting yourself in the process. absolutely amazing. ❧ “I know he was a bad person,” Megumi continues. He doesn’t sound particularly upset. “And I know he did bad things that I don’t know about, too. So you don’t have to lie about it to me because you don’t want to ruin my opinion of him, or something stupid like that.”

✎ chronicles of a man trying his best by angryjane ❧ general audiences, 35.2k (in progress) ❧ fushiguro megumi & fushiguro tsumiki & gojo satoru & nanami kento, gojo satoru/nanami kento ❧ on the opposite of end of the spectrum, we have a menace-to-society!megumi being raised by reformed-menace-to-society!gojo. this is a series of 5 fics that i don't think is ever going to get updated again, but doesn't feel incomplete in any capacity. each is relatively a stand alone and is more a basic slice of life than it is anything else. it's very funny, especially if you don't take it seriously (which you shouldn't; allow the series to guide you in your emotions). hints of past satosugu, but mostly nanago. tsumiki is a menace in her own right, and nanami is only slightly better at hiding his down badness than gojo is. again, very much a crack series but is also powerful in the little moments where the cracks seal and a bit of angst and genuineness appears. my favorite fic of the series is definitely the room is filled with people who love you. ❧ Grumbling, Megumi relents, sacrificing his dessert to Nanami’s waiting hand before scrambling off the floor and scurrying towards the kitchen table. Hesitantly, Nanami trails after him, setting the tub, followed by the bouquet of roses, down on the table and picking up a paperback he finds there, wincing at the title. Taking up residence beneath the screaming smoke detector, he begins to fan Training Pets to Kill- A Beginner’s Ultimate Guide: Tips, Tricks, Legalities and more! above his head like an offering. 

➼ haikyuu

✎ and back to you again, step by step by step by eurydicees ❧ teen and up, 8.1k ❧ daishou suguru/kuroo tetsurou ❧ this is honestly a really interesting fic due to its perspective. no relationship is perfect, nor always 100% healthy. however, for the way the fic is written, we truly only get one side/interpretation of how the relationship works until little bits and pieces are revealed through dialogue provided to kuroo from daishou. more than it is a fic on relationships, it is a wonderful piece on manipulating perspective; the author has kuroo written sort of as a victim until daishou explains that he also felt hurt and victimized in the relationship. it shows just how important communication is, and how no one but the two people involved can provide the most reliable communication. it's really interesting and very well done, especially from a technique view. ❧ “He apologized,” Kuroo says. “You know how rare that is? I think he’s apologized for something, like, twice ever in his life, and one of those times was this. The other was because he broke my nose with a volleyball when we were seven.”

✎ Yaobikuni by PlumTea ❧ mature, 7.1k ❧ iwaizumi hajime/oikawa tooru ❧ on the topic of unhealthy relationships... very hesitantly am i recommending this not because i do not believe that the fic is good, but because i think this exposes more about me than i care to admit. yet here i am. anyway, if you want some insane power dynamics, toxic relationships, and a splash of horror, then this is the fic for you. oikawa is a merman and iwaizumi catches him because he wants to live forever. is it really cannibalism if one isn't even technically the same species? a question for the ages. it also ponders the unanswerable, undefinable paradox of immortality without actually making the main character live for a thousand years to find a suitable, relative answer. i adore this author's horror haikyuu works, i highly recommend everyone to read more from them. ❧ “So you want to live forever? You could end up feeling terrible forever, too.”

✎ The SakuAtsu Documentary by the MSBY Black Jackals by lettersinpetals ❧ teen and up, 6.7k ❧ miya atsumu/sakusa kiyoomi ❧ very hilarious and very, very cute. i am always 100% down for some team shenanigans, and this one takes the cake. it's one large prank, and while the intended result was to simply amend the tense relationship between atsumu and sakusa while documenting their progress via vlogs, they got much more than they bargained for. the prank sakuatsu plays back is very funny as well and i did laugh out loud. ❧ “Something’s gotta give and we’re afraid we’ll find Atsumu’s corpse lying in a ditch,” Adriah said. “He’s a cocky prick, but he is also one of the country’s best setters, as much as I hate to admit it. We’d prefer not to lose him.”

➼ harry potter

✎ disguised as something else by aloneintherain ❧ teen and up, 3.1k ❧ harry potter & remus lupin & sirius black, harry potter & friends ❧ THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS. the one glaring vice that the harry potter series has, storywise, is that harry's prospective childhood trauma from the dursleys is almost never discussed. look me in the eyes and tell me he does not have an everlasting scar from their blatant neglect and abuse. that's right. you CAN"T. anyway, this story explores just a bit of that abuse, while also tackling the fact that he hasn't ever talked about it. he hasn't healed from that experience, and just because he's in a safe environment now with a loving family doesn't mean that scar has faded. in fact, it's a scab that's now picked open. wonderfully explores the process of talking about your feelings instead of bottling it up and pretending it doesn't exist. ❧ A part of him aches to crawl into that dark, cramped space and curl up next to Sirius. It’s safe in there, his hind-brain reminds him. Adult hands only ever reached in to drag him out.

➼ avatar: the last airbender

✎ the hands that feed by aloneintherain ❧ teen and up, 1.9k ❧ the gaang & zuko ❧ classic zuko scar reveal. no, these never get old. every author tackles it in a different way. i especially like the way this author approaches it in this fic (as evident as it is that i appreciate the way they write trauma and trauma recovery. see harry potter for reference). one of the important things about traumatic events is that it is incredibly important for a person to reveal their trauma by their own violation. ripping it out of someone or learning about their past via other conventions is a surefire way to dismantle trust and a certain amount of the healing process. in this, zuko involuntarily reveals how he got his scar, but he also, vitally, doesn't remember doing so. the gaang know that they aren't supposed to know. so, they are willing to give him time. time for him to come to them, step by miserable step, with his past burning the soles of his feet. they are all very kind to him even in this moment of stress and desperation. love love love it. ❧ Sokka felt like screaming. He couldn’t, not with Zuko so close and so confused. He wouldn’t stir up old memories. Wouldn’t hurt Zuko more than he’d already been hurt.

➼ undertale

✎ lest ye be judged by nilchance ❧ teen and up, 35.4k (in progress) ❧ papyrus & sans, asgor dreemurr & papyrus & sans ❧ man where do i even start with this. essentially, an au where everything is the same except that sans and papyrus were once homeless kids on the street who were eventually taken in by a merciful, guilt-ridden asgor, post the first six human deaths but pre gaster death. they don't stay for long, and everyone is memory wiped of their time with asgor anyway, but sans remembers. their time together is impactful in a way that can only be felt in the white spaces between every word and sentence. i am always for adding extra trauma to... any given character, so that was simply a bonus for me. the author also has a very well-defined interpretation of every major character, which really makes the series feel as near to canon as a fic could ever be in some aspects. every bond, word, and relationship shared and formed is important in some aspect, and it has consequences. the only sad thing about this series is that it very clearly had a build-up to sans revealing the complete truth and his personal feelings to his "family" in the post-true pacifist route, but. well. the series hasn't been updated since 2018. but it's okay because i still think it's all very much worth the read. every single one of the fics. my favorite is definitely the first fic (traumatized kids. yep that's the life), but runs in the family is a very close second. ❧ It had taken months before Chara stopped probing at the limits of his patience like a sore tooth. Seeing what it would take for Asgore to hit them. It's a hard lesson for a child to learn, harder to unlearn. Asgore keeps his hands open and voice easy. "Thank you."

✎ disenchanted lullaby by nilchance ❧ general audiences, 1.6k ❧ papyrus & sans ❧ ah yes, the inevitable nihilism and mental collapse after a time loop. what i find the most interesting about post-true pacifism is that for a character like sans, it is much harder to reconcile a happy ending with what he'd experienced because he has absolutely no control over it. for other time loops, they have to deal with the conflict of wondering if they will accidentally reset it themselves. they are the main character. but for sans, who is not a main character, who is merely a bystander and victim to the never-ending resets, he has no control. no bearing over whether or not his journey restarts. and to start all over again - that is a terrifying prospect. of course he's got depression. who wouldn't? the way that it's approached in careful prose and the bonding of the two brothers is very precious to me. delicious fic. ❧ "Don't," he says, unexpectedly fierce. "I heard you crying like you were falling down, brother. I heard you say that you've given up. It's a little late to tell me you're happy."

✎ Revenant by Solena2 ❧ general audiences, 2.1k ❧ no defined relationships ❧ this fic au is horrifying if you think about it for more than 2 seconds. all of the characters who appear as "undead" (the ghosts and the skeletons) were, at one point, living humans that had all fallen down to the ruins and thus been slain by asgore. the items that they wore had been lost and scattered until, eventually, the seventh human child falls down and collects their other fallen humans' things as you do in the game. when you put it into the perspectives of the characters' jobs, especially for sans and papyrus who work for the very man that mercilessly killed them, it really drives in the entire hopelessness of the underground, that they really have no place else to go. it's also simply beautifully written. i love a one shot that makes you feel a host of complex, unforgiving emotions. ❧ Like those before them - they come, they leave, they die.

✎ Hairline Fractures by kaliawai512 ❧ teen and up, 31.3k ❧ papyrus & sans ❧ yes more discussion on the devastating, horrifying, everlasting effects of inescapable time loops, as i've mentioned under the description of the disenchanted lullaby. however, this fic takes at multiple steps further. they are 6 months into living in the human world, and it is pretty terrible for monsters. in the perspective of sans, he battles with daily racism(?), balancing multiple jobs, the guilt of watching his brother suffer, and wondering, wondering when the world will reset and it will all end. because, well, they had made it that far before, hadn't they? there is a scene though where sans gets drunk for the first time and it makes me ill because i was crudely reminded of my first time, which was a far more unpleasant experience than sans'. but its okay i powered through and it, in fact, one of the best scenes in the fic. the BEST part of this fic though is that the author somehow coded the actual papyrus and comic sans into the fic for the dialogue and i am now determined (hahahhaha) to figure out how to do that for myself. ❧ He should get up. He should really get up. Papyrus was worried, and every minute Sans lay there, he got more worried. Even if he couldn’t get up, he could at least respond. But every time Papyrus came to the door, he couldn’t make a sound come out. He tried, he tried over and over again, but his voice refused to respond.

➼ marvel cinematic universe

✎ out there, living in the sun by Hailfire_73 ❧ teen and up, 30.1k ❧ peter parker & richard parker, peter parker & tony stark, peter parker & avengers, pepper potts/tony stark ❧ peter parker's dad, richard, is an evil hydra agent that essentially has kept peter from the civilization. he runs experiments on kidnapped people, kills them, and discards of them. and peter, well, peter doesn't really know a life outside of this. and then he gets kidnapped by iron man and captain america. suddenly, the world is a lot larger than the haunted mansion he grew up in. it's a very interesting fic that not only handles the affects of abuse, but takes a very different route on peter's relationship with the avengers. because he never becomes "spider-man" in our sense and understanding of spider-man, he ends up developing his relationships differently. it's also interesting to see how the author approaches his character. they rip peter parker from the environment that made who he was, prevent him from ever getting in the suit and from saving a single person, yet they still manage to keep the core of his character alive. pretty awesome. also, there is a plant named spike. that's pretty cool. ❧ “Captain America? Get me out of here?” asked Peter, squinting his eyes and tilting his head. Iron Man hoisted him out of bed, and the covers went with him, hitting the floor by Peter’s feet. “Oh cool, I’m being kidnapped.”

✎ for peter by Hailfire_73 ❧ general audiences, 19.0k ❧ peter parker & tony stark + family, pepper potts/tony stark ❧ peter parker gets turned into a dog instead of dusting away when thanos snapped. I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT. the fic is (mostly) set in tony's perspective, and he doesn't really know that peter is a dog now. he just knows that its now his responsibility to take care of this stray dog that peter had picked up before the snap. it follows the 5 years of tony and his blooming family, his grieving, his attempts to keep peter's memory alive, while peter does everything he can to somehow communicate to tony that he's still here. it's a really good fic; tony very clearly projects his mourning onto "buddy the dog", and it, in turn, makes him a better father to his daughter. fair warning though: do NOT feed your dog cheeseburgers instead of dog food on a regular basis! that will kill your dog!!! do not do as tony does!!!!! ❧ “Wanna come home with me?” asked Tony. “Look, I’m not Peter, I’m nowhere near as good and kind, hell I don’t even really like dogs, but… I have a house with a big yard and plenty of squirrels and rats to chase and… if you’re lucky, I might even feed you.”

[buttercupshands]

Meet the artist time!

I had thoughts about making one of these for years

I'm not good at it BUT

Also

Last but not least

Both new and old people might never check this post, especially since it's becoming the new ping but!

You can find most of my stuff in the blog by searching #fanart, #sketch or #oc.

You can search the specific fandoms there too, but I don't tag every single tag version and my character tags are sometimes not consistent

I have posts scheduled for same time in queue which are usually meme posts and I post art whenever.

I'm working on the way to make commissions or any other kind of support system work, but for now it's not here yet.

My requests are somewhat open, but I'm still on a drawing break as of January 2025)(will probably keep updating this in some case

[honeybewrites]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thank you @paeliae-occasionally for the tag, @harmonic-melodii for the tag, @the-golden-comet for the tag, @sableglass for the tag, @the-letterbox-archives for the tag,

@ominous-feychild for the tag and @willtheweaver for the tag!! Also thanks to @davycoquette for creating the game!!

About You

When did you start writing?

Hmm, that shouldn't be a hard question and yet here we are. Honestly, I don't know. I have a really shitty memory, especially when it comes to my childhood. I think I might have been around ten when I first started?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, I definitely like writing the same stuff I read. Fantasy and sci-fi is my jam! Throw in some massive world building, some angst and whump and you've got me hooked.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I definitely haven't been compared to anyone. I would like to emulate Brandon Sanderson in the sense of his massive world building and phenomenal magic systems.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I don't really have a set space. I often write on the living room couch because it's the most comfortable. I do have a desk that I will occasionally write at, but it's pretty uncomfortable after a short while, and I mostly use it for other work instead.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

The car or the bathroom. I know it's sounds super strange, but driving without any music, or better yet riding with it, often gets my brain thinking. And wether I'm showering or just washing my face, a lot of my best ideas come to me in the bathroom.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I really don't know, but I doubt it. Like I said, my memory is shitty. We had moved about five or six times by the time I graduated high school. It was all in the same city at least, but different parts of it. As for people, I was a hermit. I didn't have any friends or hardly ever talk to people my age.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Does whump count? On a more serious note, I haven't done what I call a deep edit in years. I think, just off the top of my head, trauma and abuse are pretty reoccurring, along with internal emotional issues like trust.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

That's a tough one! I love my babies! I think my current favorite would be 703. She's been around the longest and honestly, she'd helped me through some bad times and I'm not sure I would be here without her.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

As much as I love her, 703 and I would not get along. She's a little too trigger happy and I'm a little too non confrontational. I think Rage and I would hit it off pretty well though. Maybe Fres too if I could break through their barriers.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

I have said this before and I'll say it again, Master Gerd. That man is a straight up bastard and I would gladly choke the life out of him if ever given the chance. He just makes me so angry.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

It's pretty different for each one. Sometimes they start with a name, other times they don't. It is pretty consistent that I just start writing them into the story before coming up with all the details. If the character sticks around and starts to have a more predominant role, that's generally when I'll go into detail about their backstory and they get their own file in my doc. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes, I just already know all this information from the start and I can write it all down. 703 was like that. Sometimes things come up along the way slowly. But for the most part, I just start writing and everything else works out fine.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Trauma!! Gotta have the dark backstory haha! Most of my OCs have very unhappy and traumatic childhoods/young adult lives 😈. Protectiveness also comes up quite a lot along with being physically strong. I mean, most of my OCs are in a "cult" of some kind that generally goes around fighting things... okay maybe cult is a theme too now that I'm thinking about it. I've got the Mors (bad cult) Oraniz (morally gray cult) Ryuk's pack (wholesome cult) and mafia like organizations in Rune Storm (also bad/morally gray cults)... yeah I think that might be a theme.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Animation style. I've always wanted, especially when I was younger and life hadn't taught me anything yet, to have my work turned into an animated series. Even now, that little dream, that I realize is very unlikely, stays the same. I think you can do a lot more with animation than you can live action, and it's always how I've imagined my OCs. Albeit it is a little more "realistic" animation, like Dreamworks, Disney, those kinds of things.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

If I don't write down my OCs and world, I'm pretty sure I'll go mad. I love sharing my writing, but I write for myself first and foremost. And writing has gotten me through a lot of really hard times in my life. It's something I can always turn to and it helps me express and process things. I can't imagine my life without it. It's just a part of me.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, just saying you enjoyed it is more than enough. I never thought I'd have anyone that would be interested in my writing enough to leave comments on it. Every time I get one on anything I post, it always makes me smile.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I think I’d like to be seen as just a really good world builder and nice writer in general. I don’t really have any expectations 😂

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um world building maybe? I’m not really sure I’ve got any greatest strengths deal when it comes to writing. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m certainly not great or anything.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Uh, no. This is the only place I’ve ever talked about my writing. Don’t exactly have any irl to discuss it with or anything I trust to read it. That would get me in a less than ideal situation pretty fast.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I think it could use a lot of work if I ever want to publish it. I definitely enjoy doing it, but I don’t think it’s all that great.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. Honestly, I never thought anyone would be interested in my writing anyway. Plus, if I’m the last human, I need some form of entertainment haha

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I’d like to say it’s pretty much for my enjoyment, but I’m sure there’s some influence of what other people might like too. I’m a chronic people pleaser unfortunately

Tagging @yourpenpaldee @fractured-shield @anaisbebe @aalinaaaaaa @nczaversnick

@kaylinalexanderbooks @wyked-ao3 @diabolical-blue and anyone else who wants to hop on!! Seriously, everyone should do this tag game, it's super fun and insightful!

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[eaglet-if]

(please excuse my language. normally i don't swear, but i'm really not well right now.)

tomorrow is my birthday (fuck)

i also have a presentation tomorrow (i haven't started on it yet, and i don't have any powerpoint-esque software to begin with. fuck)

i also have two exams tomorrow (i wasn't present when we learned the stuff that'll get asked there, i haven't started trying to catch up, and there is no script or comparable materials to do that to begin with. fuck)

i went outside and there were too many people and my brain went "seems like a good time to start a major depressive episode!" (fuck)

i'll call in sick to school tomorrow because otherwise i'll 100% unalive myself (i already have trouble with my boss because of too many sick days - they were all during school blocs. idek why he cares as long as my grades are fine, but i might end up losing the job once my contract runs out. fuck)

i mean, i'm aware that i'm just whining, but seriously. how fucking unfair can the world be. with my set of issues, i should be dead or in a closed psychiatric facility. but because i happen to be really good at most things, people expect me to constantly overperform. which i can't. i barely function at all. i lost my last job because of too many sick days; two days later, they hired me back because the whole department fell apart without me. when my boss at my current job warned me about the number of sick days (even though almost all of them were during school blocs which i'll be done with next year anyway) he told me i only have a chance still because if i'm there 80% of the time i'm still way more productive than others who are never sick.

don't know where i'm going with this - again, just pathetic whining, feel free to ignore - but the bitterness has to go somewhere i guess. i stumbled through the entire school system, every single teacher/professor i had was like "oooh, you're really good, i expect great things from you" and then did EXACTLY NOTHING to help with that - on the contrary, they actively hindered me by insisting on petty bureaucratic bullshit. so now i'm stuck with a mediocre upper-level graduation paper that makes me a "specialist worker" but also bars me from studying any of the things i actually could get through despite my issues; and i can't keep any job, because, despite outperforming pretty much everyone in productivity in all my jobs, i can't get consistent attendence rates, and HR shift planners hate that.

welp, i'll try to work on the project(s) at least. don't want to disappoint everyone here as much as i'm disappointing myself and everyone else.

(also, it feels so fucking weird to add tags to this, like... my immediate reaction is "huh? i'm not writing this to get attention, i don't need tags!"; but then i realize i am absolutely doing this for attention, because note number go up makes brain give dopamine shot like one of these early 2000s coin machines where you'd get grimy 10 year old candy if you tricked the mechanism into working... still not adding all the diagnosis tags though this time, the guilt i'd feel over this isn't worth the potential extra readers)

[approachthebench]

Speak, friend, and approach the Bench

Hey! We're the Bench System, age 23, the system of DID alters running this blog. Under the cut, we'll introduce ourselves and make note of who uses what tags (mostly to keep ourselves organized...), but for now some more general housekeeping.

This blog has been revamped and we are intending to use it as a catch-all. Life updates, funnies, art (ours and others'), whatever works and feels right. We're generally trying to connect with people more regularly, and this feels like a manageable way to start, so we're excited :]

We are all gay, trans in some way, mentally and physically disabled, in poly relationships, and repulsed by the state of American politics... basically, we are the radical left, so if you don't like that or will be a dick about it DNI.

Ok some more info on us below the cut :] thanks for stopping by!

We found picrews we each liked and made representations of how we see ourselves to help out with introductions! All picrew makers are linked in the images to serve as credit and to let people play around with them as well. Please support the artists who made these images possible!

Hey there, I'm Victor (he / him). I'm the main host of the Bench, meaning I handle a lot of practical things like jobs and the clerical work that keep life running. I also do a lot of problem solving and crisis control for the system. I'm in school to finish our bachelor's degree and want to go to law school later on. I like slower hobbies, like reading and needle work, or hobbies that have practical uses, like the sewing machine we thrifted, or baking. I envision myself making a lot of life update posts on here.

Heyy it's Zacharie (he / him). I think of myself as a co-host in the Bench system, since I'm the most frequent fronter besides Victor. If Victor's main thing is making sure things in our life are taken care of, my main thing is making sure we're taken care of. I make art, I write, I encourage expression from other alters, and most of my other hobbies are relaxing ones: gaming, streaming, hanging out with our friends. Don't mind the occasional self-destructive habit, it's all about balance. I'm probably the most loudly queer of everyone, and one of these days I'm dyeing our hair red and getting us snake bite piercings when no one else's looking. I'll probably make jokes and post original content as I work on making it.

Hello, I'm Kaspian (he / they). I'm the most recently split alter, and I make sure our body is taken care of. I spend a lot of time making sure we're caring for ourselves in the way our disabilities demand, and making sure appointments are lined up. Other than that, I'm still figuring myself and my interests out, so maybe being on here will help with that. I know I like reading, and I'll take any mlm or transmasc reading recommendations anyone has. Posting about current reads might be fun, as well as any other interests that come up.

Hi! My name's Jupiter, but I use Juni for short. My pronouns are he / him. I'm the only kid in our system, we think I'm about 13-15 years old. I like to play games like Animal Crossing and Super Mario Galaxy, but I also love FNAF - Security Breach especially. (The pizzaplex is my house, and I'm Worse than Gregory.) I mostly hang out with Zach, cause I like watching him play games and seeing what he's working on. I'll probably use this like pinterest honestly, aesthetic posts or cool art with fun colors. I want to see what everyone's up to!

We do have a fifth alter, but he's... on the prickly side. He doesn't want to put himself out here like this just yet, but we didn't want to exclude him. -Victor

We'll try to tag things with a tag of the name of whoever's posting, along with a generic tag describing what the post is. Should make it easy to filter by names of a specific alter. We'll keep it as consistent as we can across multiple people x] Okay I think that's all for now! Thanks for stopping by, and we can't wait to connect more.

[alphacrone]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

thanks for the tag @pfirsichspritzer!

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

ohhhh boy i don't really remember. it was either bc of harry potter or the bartimaeus trilogy, i got into reading it while waiting for books to come out and then i started writing stuff that would never be published. eventually i got really into twilight at 14-15 and created a ff.net account to start publishing and never looked back.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

oh lord ok i've had three ff.net accounts, a livejournal account, and an ao3 account over the span of 15-ish years. i'm gonna say a minimum of 10, likely more.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

i've been publishing for 15-ish years, but writing fic for much longer. at age like 12 or 13 i had my own hp fan site (my dad wanted me to learn html) that i technically posted fic to but i don't count that bc no one ever saw it.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

lately i've been writing more but usually i read more.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i don't quite understand what this is asking. if it's asking one manner in which i've improved, i could not tell you that. i'm TRYING to cut down on superfluous adverb/adjective usage, but i know i'm not successful in that yet. if it's asking one exercise or trick i've used to improve, the answer is by reading, always by reading.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

london sewer systems, the diamagnetic properties of water, how nighttime and darkness affect the earth's magnetic field.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i LOVE when someone will pick out a line or paragraph that really resonated with them.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i don't quite understand this question. i write a lot of rare pairs? my l&co writing used to be for a pretty fringe fandom before the show came out?

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

anything with a lot of action. i struggle with pacing and the scenes tend to get choppy or awkward.

10. What is the easiest type?

introspection, emotion-heavy one-shots, or anything with lots of banter. i love writing dialogue.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i tend to write on my computer, sometimes phone or in a journal. i use gdocs though i know i need to stop bc of ai scraping, so i'll go back to ms word or a similar word processor soon. either late at night or when i'm supposed to be working lol (shhh)

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

hmmm i've been wanting to do fic in the form of like epistolaries, video/podcast/radio transcripts, 2nd person narration, newpaper articles, mixed media, etc.etc.

13. What made you choose your username?

lol which one. my ao3 username comes from the song deeper well. i wish i could change it to alphacrone tho, it's easier to remember and i'd like more consistency.

tagging: @ghosthorse @injustspring @displayheartcode idk tag urselves

[neverendinglabyrinth]

"Okay, let's do this one last time."

"My name is Aveline. I was actually bitten by a (non-radioactive) spider once, and for the past three years I've been Tumblr's one and only Spider-Woman."

About me!

I'm fluent in both English and Spanish!

I'm a full time athlete; very proud four-time junior national champion, hoping to qualify for LA 2028, also a part-time artist, graphic designer and video editor.

Animation is the love of my life, my ultimate life goal is to direct my own animated movie!

I love everything colorful and bright and fun! My favorite colors are the neon ones lmao.

I have consistent nightmares and my dreams are structured in a very weird way, sometimes i blog about it.

Obsessed with music to an unhealthy degree and I'm not kidding, I ALWAYS have my headphones on.

I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and you WILL hear me complain about it from time to time.

I love interacting with people who share my interests, so send me an ask, here are some question ideas i found (link) if you don't know what to ask.

Also i have a side blog its @cherry-starz, its literally just reblogs of pretty pictures but it might give you a good insight of what i like outside of fandom and funny posts :)

fandoms:

i am beyond obsessed with these shows/movies please talk to me about them.

★ The Spider-Verse in general! [#spiderverse]

★ Arcane: League of Legends [#arcane]

★ Lockwood & Co [#l&co]

other media i enjoy (no specific tags yet):

How To Train Your Dragon

Big Hero 6

The Last Of Us (game & show)

K-pop Demon Hunters

Rise Of The Guardians

Labyrinth (1986)

Alice In Wonderland (all versions tbh)

The Mitchells Vs. The Machines

Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Maze Runner

Phineas & Ferb

Monster High (g1 specifically, idk whats goin on with the new gens rn)

(many others)

tag system:

#art i like | #i love music | #certified internet images | #reblogs

★ my original posts: #neverendingthoughts

★ best posts of all time: #tumblr hall of fame

★ posts i find useful/i want to remember: #important papers

★ other stuff that doesn't fall into any of these categories: #junk drawer

music:

my spotify stats are concerning.

boy, do i LOVE MUSIC! i listen to more than a 1,000 separate artists, and when I say that I listen to everything I MEAN IT! PLAY ME YOUR NICHE CIRCUS AMBIENCE MUSIC AND I WILL PROBABLY EAT THAT SHIT UP!

but to be more specific, my favorite genre is probably rock and everything that falls under it's umbrella, i love me some electric guitar dude it's like a drug.

thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

but before you leave, you must to make a choice:

video 1 vs. video 2

the choice is yours...

(both are safe, one is just slightly more annoying than the other).

[greetingfromthedead]

C58: Project HUMAN

For more information on the series (tags, CW, etc) click the banner!

Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Chapter: 58/84

Words: 2.2k

Warning: This chapter handles some very dark themes including nonconsensual human experimentation, dehumanization, torture, mutilation, impregnation, and miscarriage! You'll find a chapter summary in the end.

← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

September 25th, 2445

Only 32 days after the restrictions on the blood circulation were removed, Subject 0325 has shown signs of being rebuilt on a genetic level. Samples taken from the blood and vessels contain new cells that are fundamentally different from the subjects own makeup. The genetic change is very small, but still unmistakable. The new cells seem to take after the old ones; the mutations are happening very slowly. I wonder if the process can be accelerated by forcing faster turnover of cells by means of medicated tissue damage. At this point, it is too early to rush the results; we are already ahead of schedule. Subject 0325 has exceeded all expectations and my theoretical calculations.

I have not managed to find any other subjects from cold sleep who are anywhere as good as 0325, but I have started on some less compatible patients, so far with no success. 0427 and 1463 died during the first operation. 4752, 8574, 0145, and 0047 died during the mixing process at, respectively, 45%, 80%, 4%, and 15%, the Plant blood overwhelming their systems. Currently, it is unclear if the subjects or the Plants were defective. All have been disposed of.

October 15th, 2445

52 days after starting the adaptation process Subject 0325 still shows steady progress, but the changes taking effect are slow. The genetic modification and mutation processes seem to be halted by the cell turnover rate. It has become clear that intervention is necessary to get the desired results in the next two years. I will look into medicated cell destruction.

October 20th, 2445

As per my research, I have found a combination that should balance cell destruction and healing, taking into account Subject 0325's current genetic makeup and supreme health. Once the healing overtakes the poison's effectiveness, it is apparent that her body has adapted again, and I can give her a higher dose. This should not affect the Plant yet.

Chemical composition and administration documentation are attached.

You keep swiping to move from the entry to a document listing chemicals and dosages. As it doesn't say much to you, you keep swiping to find a video of you strapped to the hospital bed just as before, but now a silhouette of a man approaches with a syringe. You don't react at all; your head is turned to look at the Plant suffering in her tank beside you. The medication is administered into your arm, and the figure steps back. For a few moments, everything is still, but then your arm that was injected starts to thrash against the restraints, the struggle moving up to your shoulder and chest till your whole body crashes against the belts holding you still. The expression on your face turns to one of pain, and muffled cries escape your mouth. As the video stops, the next log is pulled up.

December 4th, 2445

They are all failures; only 0325 continues to thrive, with the rest dying either due to the Plant blood or show absolutely no sign of adaptation. But my Eve is perfect. The poison tearing her cells apart works wonders; the medication hastens the repair and regeneration of tissue; and with every new generation of cells, there are more mutations, and they are consistent. From that, I presume the DNA has a set path for adapting to the Plant cells. I had to lower the brain activity of 0325 further; she is getting stronger, and her convulsing threatens the experiment. I cannot lose her.

May 3rd, 2446

As per my last report, the Plant is nearing its end. Subject 0325 has exceeded all that I thought possible. She has developed an immunity to the medicine I administer, or it far surpasses the limitations of the Plant. Eve's cellular regeneration is faster than what comes from the medication, making me speculate it is her own power. She must have created a rip in the fabric between our realm and the Higher Plane. It is time to bring her back and continue on to the next phase.

August 14th, 2446

What a year it has been! My research has proceeded with both much more success and failure than I had anticipated. Eve is stronger than ever; she has exceeded all projections and expectations, but not a single other subject has had even close to the same success as her. Those who survive show little to no genetic change, but perhaps I am being hasty. Subject 0325 is an anomaly; I shouldn't expect the same results from others; that's not what a scientist does. It could take years for the adaptation to kick in. But until then, I have Eve.

August 30th, 2446

One month after replacing subject 0325's left lung, liver, and right kidney with ones taken from a Plant. Today's surgery was a success; thanks to her fast healing, there were no complications while taking samples of the replaced organs. The results are shocking. My theory was that subject 0325 would continue adapting with the goal of turning her DNA completely into that of a Plant, but the samples taken show that the Plant cells are adapting to the remains of her human DNA. This either means further mutation is impossible or that the optimal result is closer to human than Plant.

Her injuries heal in days, leaving no scars behind. The implications are immense; it seems her cells know what they need to be, and there is no loss of information between generations. My working theory remains that her telomers have evolved in such a way that they remain unchanged and in tact. This could mean she holds the cure for aging. I wonder what happens if her old scars are cut out; how would they heal?

March 7th, 2454

My glorious Eve, you are everything the human race should be. It has been a year since the adaptation process halted completely; no amount of cell turnover makes a difference. Today I confirmed the test results of both the right arm amputation and the left leg replacement. The healing has reached its limits; a limb can be regrown in a week, but the leg was rejected. There is evidence that subject 0325's body tried to overwrite the Plant DNA and adapt it, but it's like her system decided it was faster to build a new leg than to change the one given. Gashes to the skin and deep stab wounds to the organs heal in a matter of hours. Her pain receptors seem to be numbed too, but only to a small extent; nonetheless, her mind can take a lot more of it before passing out. This has made surgery simple; there is no need to even close the incisions, but gathering fresh samples is harder. Her regeneration seems to stem from the heart. It is unclear what the reason is; perhaps it's simply the body prioritizing what to tend to first, or the tear in the fabric of our world is tied to the heart. I am unsure yet what it could be, and to my sorrow, I have nobody to compare her to. I have decided to take a different route to project HUMAN. She is my proudest creation. I thought she would be the metaphorical Eve, the first of her kind, the first of a new breed of humans, but perhaps it is necessary to try and take a more literal approach.

Subject 0325's DNA is still very close to human, and it makes me wonder what options there are for reproduction and the results of it. Could she get impregnated by a regular, unmodified human, and would the resulting embryo in genetic makeup be closer to her or a human? Would her body make the fetus adapt to her more Plantlike nature, or perhaps would her body reject it completely and miscarry? What about Plants? Could she carry a Plant cell similar to the way Plants are cloned? And again, would she overwrite the fetus's DNA to make it something more like her or something entirely new? Going off the reports from Ship Five, the genetic makeup of an Independent born from a Plant imprinted on a human is very human, in some sense even closer to human than a Plant, yet they are Plants while 0325 is not. If a male Independent was born, would they be compatible in a biological sense, and what would the result be? A new human or an Independent, as she does have a gate, or rather a rip of herself. There are so many questions I desire answers to. But before anything else I must understand her. All these years and still, there are things I don't understand. She is captivating; she is everything.

June 18th, 2455

I have finally been able to prove what the Plant engineers have theorized for so long, and I did it with Eve's soul. After extensive nerve stimulation, the sensors detecting disturbances in the Higher Plane went off, pinging subject 0325. This means I was right; she is, in a way, a generator, except she has no control over the resources. Her energy comes straight from the Higher Plane and seeps into her, which, combined with Plant Regeneration, gives her her healing factor. All these years of tiring tests have finally yielded results! This proves everything I've worked for! I will populate the new world with creatures like her! She is beauty; the other gods have nothing on me. She is perfect!

November 11th, 2455

I'm at a crossroads, with so many things left to discover and so much still to uncover about 0325. How far can she be pushed? How much can be regenerated until she dies? Can she die? Her healing prioritizes her heart (experiment 147, performed April 2nd, 1454 attached), so what exactly is needed to regrow organs and body parts? Is it blood or nerve impulses? Or does the whole data stem from the Higher Plain? If I removed her heart, could she live? And what would regenerate? The body around the heart, or the heart in the body? If she were to burn in a hot enough fire to incinerate her body completely, could she come back? What is the smallest part she could regenerate from, and is it possible to clone her, or is the presence of the fake gate necessary?

I desire more knowledge on my creation, her limits, and her capabilities. I want to know what I created, yet I would risk killing her, and then the dreams of project HUMAN would die with her. I need to get more of her, clones, children, anything to continue, to see more, to learn more, and to experiment more.

She is no good as a living being anymore; her mind has slipped into insanity, and her memories are pulled to the other side each time her soul is dragged to the Higher Plane. She has lost herself; she is only good as a vessel now; she shall incubate new life. By the time we reach the new world, every miserable human on this ship shall be replaced by my perfect creations. I am God, and my name shall be praised as the Father of humanity.

Your trembling hands swipe away from the report to a video; you don't want to see it; you don't want to watch, but you are frozen at the sight. It's your face, but it takes a moment to realize that it's also your body. It is horrifying. In the midst of looming robotic arms and a man dressed in surgical attire is your table; your arms and legs are spread out and strapped down; your torso looks like he's performing an autopsy; you're cut open from your throat to your crotch; surgical clamps are pulling open the cavity of your body; and your organs are on display like a buffet. There are long cuts along your limbs, skin, and muscles pulled apart like an animal hide left to dry. You see your skin trying to reform over the wounds, but the robotic arms pour something on the wounds to get back to the bright red flesh. The human looms over you for a moment, scalpel at the ready, calculating the best route, and then slashes your organs, starting from the belly and moving up. The field fills with blood for a moment, but then more loud buzzing starts, and two arms stick tubes into the blood to suction it away and clear the view just in time to see the heart heal up while everything else still bled. One after another, the cuts close, radiating from the chest; the order is opposite to how the slashes were made. You look frozen as he raises the scalpel, but before he gets to cut you again, Vash pulls the tablet from your hand and throws it onto the bed out of your line of sight.

The room is deathly quiet; if you leave out the buzzing from the video, even your breathing has stopped. You just stare at your hands where the device has been. Your skin is on fire, like you're being ripped apart again. Vash pulls you into a hug, hiding your face against his chest. You are frozen and stiff. Your hands feel as cold as ice when Vash touches them. But it is silent, so very quiet in your head. From the corner of his eye, he sees the man repeating his "experiment" over and over and over again.

Chapter summary:  In this chapter it is revealed how Iris is the only successful experiment of the doctor's, nobody else survives or adapts to the Plant DNA. The logs detail the ways Iris was tortured in the name of the project. Iris' stopped adapting to the Plant matter at some point and instead forced the Plant DNA to adapt to her during an organ transplant). During the experiments the doctor wondered what would happed if he was to cut out any scar tissue. The logs skip 8 years and reveal that Iris no longer adapts Plant organs, instead rejects them and regenerates her own. Regrowing of limbs takes a week. The regeneration stems from the heart, prioritizing the wounds closer to it, but it is unclear why, perhaps the fake gate is located there. The doctor wonders what would happen if the heart is removed: would the body regenerate the heart or the heart build a new body or would the result be death? the limits of Iris' body and healing abilities is unknown. Iris was supposed to be the metaphorical Eve, but due to the other failed experiments, the doctor considers a more literal approach since Iris' DNA is close enough to human, but perhaps Plant cells or a male Independent would yield results too. The doctor is obsessed with his creation even though her conscious mind has slipped away into insanity

For more information and chapters, check out the MASTERLIST.

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[lemonellaaaat]

trying to get better at rambling here please bear with me LMAO

okey. so I've had the idea for an oc (and also an entire world) bouncing around my skull for literally YEARS at this point and I got sad that I hadn't done much so!

I've decided to call the story 'Scarred Hands and Battered Hearts' because I think it sounds cool idk (also so I had something to tag it as) I don't really know WHAT I want to do with it yet because as much as I'd love to make it a webcomic or animate bits or do anything, I also know myself and my lack of motivation :'')

anyways I just really like the tagging system here even though I don't really know how to use it effectively for much but I want to use it to be able to ramble about things (like my ocs or aus) and still have it all in one place

none of this is complete/set in stone but here's what I have in my notes app rn

This is kind of an overview of the main character and names and stuff. The basic premise is superhero/supervillain world except the biggest baddest villian is actually a depressed teenager

Also a note: the only reason I even have a deadbane for him is because I started this idea before I picked a new name but after I realized what flavor of transgender I was, and it was really important to me to have a very trans character that doesn't have a new name yet. I don't think I'll ever "reveal" his deadbane or anything because. gross and also transphobia. But I wanted something to flesh out his character and be consistent

I started figuring out a timeline and this is it rn

two notes for this:

1. When I say "see" atoms I imagine it to be similar to when you can see dust in the light. It's something you can definitely see if you look for it, but it's also easily enough to look past

2. "Bird guy" is also "SUPERHERO" I just haven't the faintest idea what I want his name to be yet. He'd be the #1 hero but also just like. A middle-aged guy who genuinely wants the best for people (and struggles with the inevitable corruption with heros)

I want him to have wings,,, and have him do random bird habits like chirping y'know the like :3

My og plan for wren's design was to have him in a plage doctor's mask and thus he is bird aligned and the hero will have to fight his instincts (expecially after seeing how young Wren is)

Eventually I realized I don't fucking know how to draw a plauge doctor's mask (and I still don't) so now he has goggles and a gas mask (both if which I love drawing)

I still want to have the hero compare Wren to a baby bird at some point but I'm not sure how

Side note but Bird hero man is gay!! He's gonna be uselessly pining after a different guy and Wren is going to be a little shit and try to set them up (post bonding arc and while complaining about now understanding romance (he's aroace))

It's insane how much if their dynamic I have planned out without even having figured out one of their names 😭 I fear I'm doomed

Actually another thing. I don't fucking know how big of an explosion splitting a singular atom would cause. I don't know if that's something that's reasonable for a young child to survive.

A lot of the chemistry in this is kind of made up because it's so specific it's hard to research 😭 I may be in two chemistry classes as I type this, but they're not preparing me for this

Uhhhh not really sure if I have much more to say? I'll link his Pinterest which is kind of a mess because there's like. 4 very distinctive styles I have in mind for him and none of them blend well

One being how he'd be dressed, like by his parents. So very fem and covering. Second is how he dressed his self while out, more masc. Third is what he'd wear casually around the house, with no care about it being reveling (for hiding his scars wise I don't remember if I mentioned that) and the fourth would be his villian getup

Also his Spotify playlist (random songs that remind me of his)

I have so many animatics in mind I'm suffering so bad

oh also! The only art I've ever done for this was a ref sheet for Wren but it's bad, old, and not actuate (I hated it from the moment I finished it :/) but I've been working on a new ref for him the last little bit and I'm so excited it looks so cool

I'll try to finish it within the next week or two 🫡

Think the ramble NEEDS to be over now because it's after midnight and I have school tomorrow lol I'm so normal about all of this I think I need to be lobotomized /silly

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @izzy-b-hands Thank you so much!! I know tag games are slowly fading from fashion, but they are a lovely excuse to rant a bit!

1.) ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Nope! When my mother gave birth she randomly chose a name from a book she liked! She was between two, one becoming my name second becoming my middle name! (My middle name being -Amaya!)

I have been debating changing my, but it's a misspelling of a common name. If someone says it there's a 50/50 chance they say the male spelling, so I can't *not* appreciate it. That and it flows off the tongue with my last name.

[BUT OMG- Izzy would be *such* a good nickname. My ongoing gender crisis makes it hard to choose just 1.(Though I will 100% get a spade/swallow/Polaris(4-pointed star) tattoo on my hand at some point)]

2.) WHEN WAS THE LAST NIGHT YOU CRIED?

I don't know. Probably around 2-3 months ago??? I've been very busy lately, and usually only cry with fic or when it just *naturally* happens. I've been stressed, so I think I'll plan out a good cry this weekend!

Recently I've been frustrated after I received critiques about how I write in a few college classes, which has been a bit rough, but I'll learn from it. A lot of this has to do with how having a bad attention span affects how I write(if you're a follower of mine, you've definitely noticed my errors). I've noticed this in my fanworks as well, a lot of missed words or autocorrects incorrectly editing my work. I am debating going back and re-editing everything out of embarrassment. A combination of ADHD+ Dyslexia is hell when you like writing.

3.) DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No! No hate to those who do, but I don't think I could be a parent. I know I CAN but I haven't beaten my demons yet, and I wouldn't want to pass them down. I want to make sure I can work through my own habits first.

If I could afford them? I would be much more 50/50. In a few years if my partner REALLY wants them, and we have a support system to help raise them, and we can afford them? MAYBE. I'm the eldest in my family, so maybe I'll get to be a cool uncle.

4.) WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

I'm very uncoordinated. I tried out for the volleyball team when I was around 13, and didn't make the team. On top of having issues showing up consistently that would have made weekly practice hell, I have always been a twig. In High School, after I figured my own habits out a bit more, I was in band/marching band and theater!

Today, I work on my feet, and enjoy indoor rock climbing and weight lifting. Though it really doesn't look like I do!

5.) DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Yes! But it doesn't land unless you've known me forever. I think I'm a hoot, but if I take the energy I bring hanging out with family into the real world? It doesn't transfer. My humor is very dry and half the time people end up explaining how 'you don't understand___' when in reality, I was making a joke. Now I'm getting a lecture.

6.) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Besides outward appearance, I tend to notice moods pretty well before they start talking. Stress, anxiety, anger, happiness, etc, someone's body language. Might be a survival mechanism from growing up with my parent, but it's helpful. THAT and I have a really bad resting bitch face, and 'sad' looking eyes that make me not, look happy 90% of the time. If I do, I'm purposefully smiling.

The 'energy' someone brings to the conversation usually determines how it's going to go. I'm awful with names and faces. At my current job, I've been there since November and can only name 5/40ish coworkers. It's currently March.

Body part-wise? Eyes. I force eye contact like it's no one's business.

7.) WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Brown! Dark brown, not yet black. I usually wear brown glasses to match my brown hair+eyes. Plus a brown jacket/boots. Overall, I also dress in a LOT of browns. Very 70s-style white hippie meets flannels!

8.) SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

BOTH!

I'm joking, but in all actuality, I just need narrative consistency that fits the tone of your story. Realize if it's a tragedy or comedy and give it a fitting ending.

If we assume this question is more 'do you want to be scared/sad from the stuff you watch or do you just want comfort media?' I heavily lean more comfort. Though I love taking these shows and turning them a bit horrific, it's always to serve a central idea of character growth.

'Character A from show needs to learn a lesson'. Alright, what if the thing that teaches them this lesson is a ghost. Or if a character is thrown into the world suddenly alone-they to have them learn they are competent and not helpless. If that makes any sense.

I enjoy horror/tragedy as a group of tropes but enjoy it more as a way to tell a human story.

9.) ANY TALENTS?

I would frame them as hobbies more than talents, as I've never been naturally good at anything.

I enjoy playing bass guitar/guitar, I embroider, and of course, I write. But I am trying to improve in all of these as I go about my life.

For my instruments, I rely on Rocksmith! I love hooking up an instrument, turning my mind off, and letting my fingers do the work as I listen to songs I like on repeat. As I mentioned with being uncoordinated above with sports, it's slow progress, but I'm having fun doing it!

When I write, I know I have issues really editing my work. I'll change a sentence, and miss a few words in the edit, so now the entire paragraph doesn't flow. That, with dyslexia and the writing platform I use having a less than reliable spell check? Yeah. I wish to improve in how I write. My sentences often don't flow together. I jump from thought to thought, but I'm getting better at catching my thoughts. I only just started writing again in 2022, so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.

I've been told I'm good with lecturing, but that's just from my love of writing essays.

10.) WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Small town in Montana, USA. I've lived in Texas, Hawaii, and Virginia due to family being in the military until I was in my early teens. I would say I'm a Montana'ian, as I've spent over half of my life here. It's not awful, the price of living is getting bad as nature lovers with money take the property, but things could be worse. I wish I could leave the US. However, I've realized I need to grow my career and have experience before any country would let me emigrate. So I'll be in my thirties before I have the chance to. (I have no idea if that GIF is in Montana but it fits the vibe)

11.) WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, reading, drawing(it's god awful, but I doodle), listening to music, and I've been trying to get into recording podfics for a year at this point. My hatred of my own voice is seriously holding me back.

12.) DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes! I currently have two cats of my own, Polly and Cricket. Both of whom I have inserted into the random fic, as some overly proud pet parents can admit to. They've been with me since early high school, 2016ish. As I currently live with family and do online school, they live with me, and have since 2020. But, due to me going back to in-person classes this fall, my mother will be taking them back. I highly empathize with @izzy-b-hands as I will be in a similar situation soon. Shit sucks!

13.) HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'9/5'10. Taller if I'm in my boots! I enjoy it.

14.) FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Even with my issues keeping a consistent thought, and god-awful dyslexia, I loved English. I averaged around a 90% even if I tried my hardest, but I just fell in love with story analysis and literature. Back then I was convinced a STEM field would save me, so I graduated with 7 math courses and 6 sciences completed in 4 years. Only indulging in the 1 required English in all four years of school. If not for the pandemic and college making me realize I hated most sciences, I wouldn't have fallen back in love with writing. Not taking the schools english classes was my main regret in Highschool.

So either English or History. History was easy for me-I had A+'s in all my courses. Mainly because I memorized historical events like one would a story. Good stuff though.

15.) DREAM JOB?

Writer-teacher-therapist. I am working on becoming the ladder but honestly, the retention rate is so low, most leave the field in their first ten years. I wouldn't want to be a teacher to gen alpha kids, given how most are years behind their grade. But a professor wouldn't be a bad job.

My want to be a therapist comes from controlling some of my hours, and in-depth interactions with the public that go beyond fake customer service smiles. I hate dehumanization and all my jobs so far have been putting on more masks that I already have been struggling to take off for years. That, and I have issues doing work I'm not passionate about but I already see myself falling in love with the field. Especially drug rehabilitation work. My main hesitancy is how our current healthcare system in the US is unaffordable and hard to manage for the insured or uninsured.

If being a therapist falls through, I've enjoyed most of my janitorial jobs. I enjoy working at warehouses right now, given how they let you listen to music and the work is independent, but I've most enjoyed being a janitor in a hospital's kitchen. Maybe I can take the analysis I do here and make YouTube videos? Who knows. I don't dream of labor, but a menial 9-5 where I clock out and have a life sounds perfect. I am not what my job position says I am.

But @izzy-b-hands is right, any sugar-baby situation is preferable!

[howtofightwrite]

I've been replaying the Fallout series and it got me thinking. The protagonists of most of the games, 1, 3 and 4 if you go with a female Sole Survivor, are naive newcomers with zero combat experience, yet they go on to slaughter armies and change the fate of the wasteland. I know they're rpgs, but how would you translate a character like that into a believable, linear story? Can it be done?

So, there's two distinctly different cases here.

Fallout 3 and 4 (and really basically everything from Bethesda Games Studio in the last 20 years), are ARPGs. They have more potential for environmental roleplay than games you'd conventionally think of as ARPGs, like Diablo or Path of Exile, but Bethesda's Fallout games are primarily about the combat loop with subsequent looting and loot sorting as preludes to the next fight. While ARPGs can deliver an enjoyable story, they don't tend to travel particularly well outside of the game. To a large extent, the violence is the fun, and without that, you're left with wispy sinews of a story that existed to draw you from set piece to set piece.

The counterpoint to something like Fallout 3 and 4 would probably be Cyberpunk 2077, which, for all its flaws, is basically an ARPG with a strong narrative focus, and as a result, it would hold together a bit better as a linear narrative.

Ironically, one of the strengths in BGS's writing is something that really cannot translate to the page, the reactivity. While it's not frequent, Fallout 4 and Skyrim do a pretty good job of reflecting what the player has done elsewhere in the world when interacting with NPCs. It's not always consistent, but membership in the various factions, and some previously completed quests, do flag for dialog in the future. (When joining the Railroad, it's surprisingly difficult to get Deacon's line without any reactivity.) Unfortunately, there's no way to naturally convey this in a linear narrative because those prior events will always have happened.

In the case of these kinds of open world ARPGs, the actual narrative you could draw from that is more about the specific stories your character(s) experience.

Fallout and Fallout 2 are verydifferent experiences from the later Bethesda titles. (With, New Vegas sitting somewhere between these points.) Critically, these are both games where you can reasonably play a non-combat character. So, with both of the original games, between the Good Natured trait, and the skill tagging system, it's pretty reasonable that your character might not have a combat background. That's not a problem. It is a limitation of the character, but it is not an insurmountable flaw. The fundamental difference between the Black Isle Fallouts and Bethesda's is that there will almost always be alternatives to fighting.

You can play out the story of Fallout as a conventional gruff wasteland gunslinger, wandering through another post apocalypse, or you can take on the role of a charismatic con artist who isn't particularly adept at fighting, but tries to talk their way out of violence as often as possible. Somewhat obviously, this won't always work, and violence may occur anyway (also, a full pacifist run will strongly benefit from foreknowledge of what you're looking at, so that you can avoid quests with mandatory combat, and avoid a few fights that might appear forced but can be avoided through careful preparation.)

I'd argue that the latter is a more interesting story. There are a lot of cases in Fallout and Fallout 2 where the non-combat solution is a lot more interesting and amusing, than simply pulling a gun and starting a combat encounter, even if it can be seriously satisfying to just start carving your way through New Reno.

As for the character's proficiency with combat? Fallout and Fallout 2 will punish you for not speccing into combat, and then getting into fights. Again, this isn't a storytelling problem, if you have a character who starts their story with a deficiency, then it should hamper them for awhile. Eventually, this is something that a character can recover from if they live long enough. It's reasonable to have a character who can't do everything, and that includes being unable to fight. It's also reasonable for them to eventually overcome some of those limitations, through hard work, and commitment.

The original Fallout games were about a post apocalypse that was in the process of rebuilding. There's a lot of lawless territory, and places where petty despots hold sway, but there's also new civilizations getting started, and there are places for socially skilled characters within. It's something that can easily be lost in post apocalyptic narratives that focus on combatant protagonists. I don't think this is a problem, per se, but it's something that Fallout and Fallout 2 considered. You are free to pursue other roles (even if a number of those options in Fallout 2 are a bit... “shallow.”)

As for 3 and 4, the problem isn't so much that the various characters evolve into combat gods, it's how quickly they do so.

A play-through of Fallout 3 will take the player character from being a normal-ish teenager to a battle hardened slayer of men in about six in-game hours. (Which works out to about 18 minutes.) After that, your character will be ready to blast their way through entire camps of borderline feral bandits in pursuit of whatever shiny objects they may be carrying.

Fallout 4 isn't much better. The player character (whichever one you're playing) goes from domestic bliss to casually murdering the locals in less than a day (unless you choose to deliberately procrastinate, and rework Sanctuary into an armed compound, instead of trying to find your son.)

In both cases, like I said, the problem isn't that they become skilled combatants, it's how easy and fast it is to get them there. Again, this is a function of how those games are designed, and not a narrative consideration. The introduction to Fallout 4 already drags enough that most players are going to skip the pre-war and Vault 111 sequences on subsequent playthroughs, just load the exit confirmation save and reconfigure their character, if they want to go again. (Or use an alternate start mod.) And, without any external context, it doesn't make a lot of sense that within hours of touching a handgun for the first time, Nora is blasting her way through entire waves of raiders. The game is built around combat, and that's what we get.

If you want a combat focused, post-apocalyptic RPG sandbox with a more gradual power curve, I'd suggest looking at something like Kenshi. It's not going to give you a lot of dialog to work through, but it does have a real knack for dynamically creating stories as you try to avoid being eaten by bonedogs.

-Starke

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[ginnyzero]

If you want to see what the algorithmification of writing looks like, go look at indie publishing on Amazon, or just go to wattpad. This is what turning books which can take at least 6 months to a year to write into "content" for "popularity points" ends up being. Under a read more because this gets long.

On Amazon, if you want any "success" you have to publish every 3 to 4 months to keep your name on top of the algorithm pile. I think you're name, because it's a seller system, not a 'we care about your book series system.' Though a series might help with consistency for your readers. (Then your books may or may not need upwards of 50 reviews and long term sales. It depends on what the algorithm is doing this week.) Amazon is also flooded with no content/low content books which are published upwards of 1000 to 1500 books a year and use the same tagging/meta system as the rest of the books.

The tagging/meta system on Amazon is awful. People put full on sentences in the tagging/meta system to try and get the most 'keywords' they can. (Also throwing keywords into title spaces and littering up the summary. X meets Y has been a thing on Amazon for at least 5 years if not longer.) No one is checking the categories to make sure authors are putting their books in the correct ones. (Hint, they aren't b/c they're trying to get that coveted bestseller gold ribbon so they'll deliberately miscategorize.)

So, what's happened leans towards one of 4 things. There are authors like me who sit on books. I'm sitting on 5 right now. I need at least 6 to feel comfortable publishing ANYTHING on Amazon to give myself a year or two cushion to write more. And I'd prefer those to be in a series, which means I'm 3 short of catgirl mysteries.

There are authors who will underpay and exploit groups of ghost writers and may or may not inadvertently end up plagiarizing other authors. (Yes, this happened and the ghost writer was very upset. They were working with scenes the "author" gave them. They didn't know. The "author" was only upset they got caught. Don't plagiarize Nora Roberts. Yeesh.)

There are authors turning to "AI" Language Learning Models and Generative Art Models to help write/illustrate their books. Yikes. (now against Amazon TOS or at least you can't make money off it and if you don't declare you use these things, they'll delete your author account. And using these in nonfiction spaces could get people seriously hurt.)

OR my least fave, authors will write a bunch of books, put them up on Amazon, when the sales fall, they take them down, SELL them to another author who repackages them with new covers and maybe titles, and SELLS them again. Thus hurting customers who end up buying the same books 2 or 3 times.

This doesn't include authors who drastically change their novels due to reviews. Authors who buy reviews. Authors who split a book into two to offer one free and the next paid as an enticement for you to find out how the 'cliffhanger' ending resolves. I don't know if "changing the item but keeping the old listing" scam has hit books yet, but I wouldn't be surprised. Scam artists who are pumping and dumping essentially with books of gibberish. Robo stuff for Kindle Unlimited. Authors who have faked their own deaths. (That was a doozy.) And the whole "Sponsored Ads" plastered all over the listings being the real service as authors have to BUY those.

Sometimes, and I do mean UNICORN level style of sometimes, an indie author will get a bunch of sales because of a booktokker finding their book and promoting it. This is as rare as an author getting a bunch of sales b/c someone random on twitter (X) promoted it.

This isn't me getting into the content/writing level/editing level of these books. This is JUST the mechanical end of it.

And if you think that's BAD. Wattpad/Royal Road/Reddit are WORSE. There you have to update from twice a week, to every day at different HOURS just to try and get attention. All of this is a recipe for cookie cutter books and burn out. Oh yeah, and Amazon has VELLA now. A Wattpad/AO3 like service. (Are you scared yet?)

Also, the wrong lesson learned from Iron Widow. Or any youtuber who gets a publishing deal (cough Lindsey Ellis.) Also, the story behind the publication of Lightlark. Also Amazon owns goodreads making goodreads useless. Also, many authors now 3 or 4 pen names because they want to write 3 or 4 genres and author names = brands. (Ugh.)

Look, there's a reason why an archive format like AO3 is a holy grail if you're indie or you're looking for books even if they're trad published. The closest you can get is a library. And even then, like I have a 30 library system, but my librarian isn't packing my already published books up and shipping them to another library to put on display for a month. They don't talk to each other unless the computer system is going down it feels like. So, I would have to take the books and go to the other library myself which is a hassle for me b/c the libraries might be 2 to 3 hours away. (And the library has a van that goes around and delivers books between libraries, so, I dunno. I really don't.)

Hey, if you can write that fast, and you like pulp tropey novels, then, good for you. I mean that. But it leaves a LOT of us buried (literally) in what feels like a HUGE pile of SLUSH. And with tiktok becoming even more popular, it means unless you have a schtick (and I don't really) you are stuck in this pile of slush without a shovel. I treat my youtube like a fireside chat because I have 2 choices, I can be an influencer or I can write and I prefer writing!

So, I've got a vampire romcom trilogy to finish, and then 3 more books to write in catgirl mysteries. Then MAYBE I can get back to writing urban fantasy biker werewolves. This is why I don't talk about my books b/c I have no idea when I'll be able to publish them because of the algorithms and I hate getting people's hopes up. (I'm Ginny O. on amazon and youtube in case any of that sounded interesting.)

me making sure i shake my head in disgust as i walk past booktok tables in bookshops

[farmergadda]

Hey, you design TTRPG games right? I've been wondering, do you think Minecraft would be a good inspiration for a TTRPG setting/rules? I got inspired by your Mario maps to make a campaign in a video game setting !

hyperfixation activated, you are going to perish

A minecraft system/setting is one of my white whales i've struggled with for YEARS now; there's unique challenges in trying to adapt the feel and tone into a tabletop that I've yet to crack. The majority of the issue is that minecraft is meant less as a cohesive setting and more as a platform for creativity. There's PURPOSEFULLY unanswered questions about the lore and world that players are meant to find meaning in themselves. Any attempt to create a game for tabletop players will inevitably run afoul of someone's headcanon and knock them out of the game.

No matter what Game Theory tells you, there is no single cohesive Minecraft Lore, just hundreds of possible answers to the questions the devs leave about, waiting for a player to try and make connections to answer for themselves. The stories players make up for themselves is the result of their own creativity spurred by the prompting of the game world, and everyone comes to a different conclusion. In a TTRPG format, you can make whatever world you want, but each player at the table needs to have an equal and consistant understanding of that world to play in it. Not really conducive to the kind of stories one usually tells with a TTRPG.

Mechanically, Crafting rules in ttrpg need to be incredibly simple, lest they become an inhuman amount of bookkeeping. But if you simplify crafting, which is an entire half of Minecraft's identity, then why are you playing in that world? How can you we make an alalogue system still FEEL like minecraft without making it too large for humans to imagine and follow? I don't really have answers.

It's a fascinating idea and one i'll never give up on. In the meantime, I've been taking slices of Minecraft's world and Design and splicing them into my existing games. Every world I create has a nether/Hecc equivalent, I base my potion brewing systems on minecraft's, and I've started notes for an automatic map generator using Minecraft's Biome System. Here's a good youtube channel that goes into depth with minecraft design and how to make vanilla-like mods; design ideas that could be used to translate something into TTRPG if you squint. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ybh5733DCo

I've also trawled the Minecraft lore tags. @bedrock-to-buildheight has a fantastic interpretation of Minecraft's lore, and once upon a time even gave me the go-ahead to translate it into a world for my personal games.

Maybe someday we'll have a break through and make the Minecraft TTRPG of our dreams...