#i don't have a consistent tagging system this year yet :/

[nonametis]

Powerbreak Grubi | 04.05.2024

[thr0wnawayy]

Chapter 429 has been my Dabi's Dance

I can't stop smiling.

I wanted to start off by saying thank you. Not to Hori, but to you all. Every last one of you in these tags for your contributions. Be it analysis, re-reads, fan works or simply your perspectives. I look forward to seeing what you will make in the future.

So, Thank you.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. MHA was always in the background of my life and I hated it. I don't watch anime and yet still MHA related media would make it's way onto my socials in all it's obnoxious forms. This went on for years.

And then suddenly, it stopped. It seemed like MHA's craze had died down, I'd still see it from time to time through merchandise but never to the consistency it had prior.

That was until Dabi's Dance was published and the net went wild.

I knew a few things about Endeavor from my past exposure, he was universally hated and abused his kids and wife (to the point she scalded her son in a fit of psychosis).

Deciding I had nothing better to do, I found myself searching to see what kind of consequences would befall such a monstrous character.

Would he fall like Icarus, be torn apart by the public, how would the family he ruined react to the news?.

And then, nothing. No punishment, no reaction. Just dead air.

I recall that my face dropped internally. My blank expression mirrored my phone screen's sterile nature, as it displayed the information in front of me.

He got away with it. So I did some digging and it got so much worse.

Bakugo's evasion of any consequences or damages, coddled and shielded by Hori's inability to go through on anything.

Hawks who murdered a near crippled man on a hypothesis, for the mere crime of having the "wrong" quirk, for not giving up, for being "unlucky"

Aizawa, Hori's little mouthpiece. who decides to play judge, jury and executioner with the futures of students he's supposed to be teaching. Only for the Nedzu and the narrative to allow him, his friends turned into lapdogs that agree to the letter.

The Commission who strive to keep theirrotting husk of a system alive through assasins, child soldiers and indoctrination.

Even if it's gears must be lubricated with blood, even if it means lying to the world and having them clean up the mess. They MUST stay on top, the illusion must be upheld.

I just couldn't fathom how this was seen as a good thing.

And somewhere along the way I began to feel something akin to hate. Not your typical ire, one powered by anger, no.

I wanted to see how low Hori would go, just how horrifically he would mangle a series that everyone had once praised.

I wanted to witness what wonders a jaded community would create, to show what they were capable of (to create and understand MHA in a manner Hori wishes he could even emulate a fraction of)

I wished to see your own expressions of love and hatred.

The thought of witnessing the breaking point, the dust settling to expose all the glaring flaws and infested wounds of MHA. It buzzed in my brain like electricity.

The idea that when all was said and done, you, the people would do what Hori couldn't/wouldn't and forge the bones and salvagble bits of MHA into a story worth remembering.

One where abusers are punished for their crimes instead of rewarded

Where victims can have a voice, feel and grow, carve their own paths and move forward from their trauma.

Where the implications of MHA's rotting and disingenuous society get explored instead of swept under the rug

Where people get a chance.

I waited eagerly for the day it would all fall apart.

So, do you know what I did when I logged onto the tag and saw your posts!?.

I laughed, the shrill giggle in the back of my throat quickly surging into an almost manic cackle. It was like lightning, vindicating and sobering all at once. My face was stretched to it's absolute limits with how wide my grin was. I could almost hear the shattering of MHA's last bit of integrity and I loved it.

The realization MHA's greatest threat was the author himself, It's one that I grasped long ago (as far back as the Dark Dekiru Arc) and I'm sure most of you understood this as well.

But to see that more of you are starting to get it, to realize there's no going back. That as the curtains draw near and the lights begin to dim, there is no other side here. Violence begets violence and Hori's gone past the event horizon.

It feels, hopeful. Perhaps we can build something worth saving.

It's been a wild ride so far and it's still ongoing. Hori's time is long over, it has been for a while now, so I suppose what I'm asking Is:

Now It's Your Turn, what's your play?

_______________________________________

Update:

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!

[honeybewrites]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thank you @paeliae-occasionally for the tag, @harmonic-melodii for the tag, @the-golden-comet for the tag, @sableglass for the tag, @the-letterbox-archives for the tag,

@ominous-feychild for the tag and @willtheweaver for the tag!! Also thanks to @davycoquette for creating the game!!

About You

When did you start writing?

Hmm, that shouldn't be a hard question and yet here we are. Honestly, I don't know. I have a really shitty memory, especially when it comes to my childhood. I think I might have been around ten when I first started?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, I definitely like writing the same stuff I read. Fantasy and sci-fi is my jam! Throw in some massive world building, some angst and whump and you've got me hooked.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I definitely haven't been compared to anyone. I would like to emulate Brandon Sanderson in the sense of his massive world building and phenomenal magic systems.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I don't really have a set space. I often write on the living room couch because it's the most comfortable. I do have a desk that I will occasionally write at, but it's pretty uncomfortable after a short while, and I mostly use it for other work instead.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

The car or the bathroom. I know it's sounds super strange, but driving without any music, or better yet riding with it, often gets my brain thinking. And wether I'm showering or just washing my face, a lot of my best ideas come to me in the bathroom.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I really don't know, but I doubt it. Like I said, my memory is shitty. We had moved about five or six times by the time I graduated high school. It was all in the same city at least, but different parts of it. As for people, I was a hermit. I didn't have any friends or hardly ever talk to people my age.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Does whump count? On a more serious note, I haven't done what I call a deep edit in years. I think, just off the top of my head, trauma and abuse are pretty reoccurring, along with internal emotional issues like trust.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

That's a tough one! I love my babies! I think my current favorite would be 703. She's been around the longest and honestly, she'd helped me through some bad times and I'm not sure I would be here without her.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

As much as I love her, 703 and I would not get along. She's a little too trigger happy and I'm a little too non confrontational. I think Rage and I would hit it off pretty well though. Maybe Fres too if I could break through their barriers.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

I have said this before and I'll say it again, Master Gerd. That man is a straight up bastard and I would gladly choke the life out of him if ever given the chance. He just makes me so angry.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

It's pretty different for each one. Sometimes they start with a name, other times they don't. It is pretty consistent that I just start writing them into the story before coming up with all the details. If the character sticks around and starts to have a more predominant role, that's generally when I'll go into detail about their backstory and they get their own file in my doc. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes, I just already know all this information from the start and I can write it all down. 703 was like that. Sometimes things come up along the way slowly. But for the most part, I just start writing and everything else works out fine.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Trauma!! Gotta have the dark backstory haha! Most of my OCs have very unhappy and traumatic childhoods/young adult lives 😈. Protectiveness also comes up quite a lot along with being physically strong. I mean, most of my OCs are in a "cult" of some kind that generally goes around fighting things... okay maybe cult is a theme too now that I'm thinking about it. I've got the Mors (bad cult) Oraniz (morally gray cult) Ryuk's pack (wholesome cult) and mafia like organizations in Rune Storm (also bad/morally gray cults)... yeah I think that might be a theme.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Animation style. I've always wanted, especially when I was younger and life hadn't taught me anything yet, to have my work turned into an animated series. Even now, that little dream, that I realize is very unlikely, stays the same. I think you can do a lot more with animation than you can live action, and it's always how I've imagined my OCs. Albeit it is a little more "realistic" animation, like Dreamworks, Disney, those kinds of things.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

If I don't write down my OCs and world, I'm pretty sure I'll go mad. I love sharing my writing, but I write for myself first and foremost. And writing has gotten me through a lot of really hard times in my life. It's something I can always turn to and it helps me express and process things. I can't imagine my life without it. It's just a part of me.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, just saying you enjoyed it is more than enough. I never thought I'd have anyone that would be interested in my writing enough to leave comments on it. Every time I get one on anything I post, it always makes me smile.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I think I’d like to be seen as just a really good world builder and nice writer in general. I don’t really have any expectations 😂

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um world building maybe? I’m not really sure I’ve got any greatest strengths deal when it comes to writing. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m certainly not great or anything.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Uh, no. This is the only place I’ve ever talked about my writing. Don’t exactly have any irl to discuss it with or anything I trust to read it. That would get me in a less than ideal situation pretty fast.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I think it could use a lot of work if I ever want to publish it. I definitely enjoy doing it, but I don’t think it’s all that great.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. Honestly, I never thought anyone would be interested in my writing anyway. Plus, if I’m the last human, I need some form of entertainment haha

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I’d like to say it’s pretty much for my enjoyment, but I’m sure there’s some influence of what other people might like too. I’m a chronic people pleaser unfortunately

Tagging @yourpenpaldee @fractured-shield @anaisbebe @aalinaaaaaa @nczaversnick

@kaylinalexanderbooks @wyked-ao3 @diabolical-blue and anyone else who wants to hop on!! Seriously, everyone should do this tag game, it's super fun and insightful!

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[himbeereule]

(please excuse my language. normally i don't swear, but i'm really not well right now.)

tomorrow is my birthday (fuck)

i also have a presentation tomorrow (i haven't started on it yet, and i don't have any powerpoint-esque software to begin with. fuck)

i also have two exams tomorrow (i wasn't present when we learned the stuff that'll get asked there, i haven't started trying to catch up, and there is no script or comparable materials to do that to begin with. fuck)

i went outside and there were too many people and my brain went "seems like a good time to start a major depressive episode!" (fuck)

i'll call in sick to school tomorrow because otherwise i'll 100% unalive myself (i already have trouble with my boss because of too many sick days - they were all during school blocs. idek why he cares as long as my grades are fine, but i might end up losing the job once my contract runs out. fuck)

i mean, i'm aware that i'm just whining, but seriously. how fucking unfair can the world be. with my set of issues, i should be dead or in a closed psychiatric facility. but because i happen to be really good at most things, people expect me to constantly overperform. which i can't. i barely function at all. i lost my last job because of too many sick days; two days later, they hired me back because the whole department fell apart without me. when my boss at my current job warned me about the number of sick days (even though almost all of them were during school blocs which i'll be done with next year anyway) he told me i only have a chance still because if i'm there 80% of the time i'm still way more productive than others who are never sick.

don't know where i'm going with this - again, just pathetic whining, feel free to ignore - but the bitterness has to go somewhere i guess. i stumbled through the entire school system, every single teacher/professor i had was like "oooh, you're really good, i expect great things from you" and then did EXACTLY NOTHING to help with that - on the contrary, they actively hindered me by insisting on petty bureaucratic bullshit. so now i'm stuck with a mediocre upper-level graduation paper that makes me a "specialist worker" but also bars me from studying any of the things i actually could get through despite my issues; and i can't keep any job, because, despite outperforming pretty much everyone in productivity in all my jobs, i can't get consistent attendence rates, and HR shift planners hate that.

welp, i'll try to work on the project(s) at least. don't want to disappoint everyone here as much as i'm disappointing myself and everyone else.

(also, it feels so fucking weird to add tags to this, like... my immediate reaction is "huh? i'm not writing this to get attention, i don't need tags!"; but then i realize i am absolutely doing this for attention, because note number go up makes brain give dopamine shot like one of these early 2000s coin machines where you'd get grimy 10 year old candy if you tricked the mechanism into working... still not adding all the diagnosis tags though this time, the guilt i'd feel over this isn't worth the potential extra readers)

[howtofightwrite]

I've been replaying the Fallout series and it got me thinking. The protagonists of most of the games, 1, 3 and 4 if you go with a female Sole Survivor, are naive newcomers with zero combat experience, yet they go on to slaughter armies and change the fate of the wasteland. I know they're rpgs, but how would you translate a character like that into a believable, linear story? Can it be done?

So, there's two distinctly different cases here.

Fallout 3 and 4 (and really basically everything from Bethesda Games Studio in the last 20 years), are ARPGs. They have more potential for environmental roleplay than games you'd conventionally think of as ARPGs, like Diablo or Path of Exile, but Bethesda's Fallout games are primarily about the combat loop with subsequent looting and loot sorting as preludes to the next fight. While ARPGs can deliver an enjoyable story, they don't tend to travel particularly well outside of the game. To a large extent, the violence is the fun, and without that, you're left with wispy sinews of a story that existed to draw you from set piece to set piece.

The counterpoint to something like Fallout 3 and 4 would probably be Cyberpunk 2077, which, for all its flaws, is basically an ARPG with a strong narrative focus, and as a result, it would hold together a bit better as a linear narrative.

Ironically, one of the strengths in BGS's writing is something that really cannot translate to the page, the reactivity. While it's not frequent, Fallout 4 and Skyrim do a pretty good job of reflecting what the player has done elsewhere in the world when interacting with NPCs. It's not always consistent, but membership in the various factions, and some previously completed quests, do flag for dialog in the future. (When joining the Railroad, it's surprisingly difficult to get Deacon's line without any reactivity.) Unfortunately, there's no way to naturally convey this in a linear narrative because those prior events will always have happened.

In the case of these kinds of open world ARPGs, the actual narrative you could draw from that is more about the specific stories your character(s) experience.

Fallout and Fallout 2 are verydifferent experiences from the later Bethesda titles. (With, New Vegas sitting somewhere between these points.) Critically, these are both games where you can reasonably play a non-combat character. So, with both of the original games, between the Good Natured trait, and the skill tagging system, it's pretty reasonable that your character might not have a combat background. That's not a problem. It is a limitation of the character, but it is not an insurmountable flaw. The fundamental difference between the Black Isle Fallouts and Bethesda's is that there will almost always be alternatives to fighting.

You can play out the story of Fallout as a conventional gruff wasteland gunslinger, wandering through another post apocalypse, or you can take on the role of a charismatic con artist who isn't particularly adept at fighting, but tries to talk their way out of violence as often as possible. Somewhat obviously, this won't always work, and violence may occur anyway (also, a full pacifist run will strongly benefit from foreknowledge of what you're looking at, so that you can avoid quests with mandatory combat, and avoid a few fights that might appear forced but can be avoided through careful preparation.)

I'd argue that the latter is a more interesting story. There are a lot of cases in Fallout and Fallout 2 where the non-combat solution is a lot more interesting and amusing, than simply pulling a gun and starting a combat encounter, even if it can be seriously satisfying to just start carving your way through New Reno.

As for the character's proficiency with combat? Fallout and Fallout 2 will punish you for not speccing into combat, and then getting into fights. Again, this isn't a storytelling problem, if you have a character who starts their story with a deficiency, then it should hamper them for awhile. Eventually, this is something that a character can recover from if they live long enough. It's reasonable to have a character who can't do everything, and that includes being unable to fight. It's also reasonable for them to eventually overcome some of those limitations, through hard work, and commitment.

The original Fallout games were about a post apocalypse that was in the process of rebuilding. There's a lot of lawless territory, and places where petty despots hold sway, but there's also new civilizations getting started, and there are places for socially skilled characters within. It's something that can easily be lost in post apocalyptic narratives that focus on combatant protagonists. I don't think this is a problem, per se, but it's something that Fallout and Fallout 2 considered. You are free to pursue other roles (even if a number of those options in Fallout 2 are a bit... “shallow.”)

As for 3 and 4, the problem isn't so much that the various characters evolve into combat gods, it's how quickly they do so.

A play-through of Fallout 3 will take the player character from being a normal-ish teenager to a battle hardened slayer of men in about six in-game hours. (Which works out to about 18 minutes.) After that, your character will be ready to blast their way through entire camps of borderline feral bandits in pursuit of whatever shiny objects they may be carrying.

Fallout 4 isn't much better. The player character (whichever one you're playing) goes from domestic bliss to casually murdering the locals in less than a day (unless you choose to deliberately procrastinate, and rework Sanctuary into an armed compound, instead of trying to find your son.)

In both cases, like I said, the problem isn't that they become skilled combatants, it's how easy and fast it is to get them there. Again, this is a function of how those games are designed, and not a narrative consideration. The introduction to Fallout 4 already drags enough that most players are going to skip the pre-war and Vault 111 sequences on subsequent playthroughs, just load the exit confirmation save and reconfigure their character, if they want to go again. (Or use an alternate start mod.) And, without any external context, it doesn't make a lot of sense that within hours of touching a handgun for the first time, Nora is blasting her way through entire waves of raiders. The game is built around combat, and that's what we get.

If you want a combat focused, post-apocalyptic RPG sandbox with a more gradual power curve, I'd suggest looking at something like Kenshi. It's not going to give you a lot of dialog to work through, but it does have a real knack for dynamically creating stories as you try to avoid being eaten by bonedogs.

-Starke

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[alphacrone]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

thanks for the tag @pfirsichspritzer!

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

ohhhh boy i don't really remember. it was either bc of harry potter or the bartimaeus trilogy, i got into reading it while waiting for books to come out and then i started writing stuff that would never be published. eventually i got really into twilight at 14-15 and created a ff.net account to start publishing and never looked back.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

oh lord ok i've had three ff.net accounts, a livejournal account, and an ao3 account over the span of 15-ish years. i'm gonna say a minimum of 10, likely more.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

i've been publishing for 15-ish years, but writing fic for much longer. at age like 12 or 13 i had my own hp fan site (my dad wanted me to learn html) that i technically posted fic to but i don't count that bc no one ever saw it.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

lately i've been writing more but usually i read more.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i don't quite understand what this is asking. if it's asking one manner in which i've improved, i could not tell you that. i'm TRYING to cut down on superfluous adverb/adjective usage, but i know i'm not successful in that yet. if it's asking one exercise or trick i've used to improve, the answer is by reading, always by reading.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

london sewer systems, the diamagnetic properties of water, how nighttime and darkness affect the earth's magnetic field.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i LOVE when someone will pick out a line or paragraph that really resonated with them.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i don't quite understand this question. i write a lot of rare pairs? my l&co writing used to be for a pretty fringe fandom before the show came out?

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

anything with a lot of action. i struggle with pacing and the scenes tend to get choppy or awkward.

10. What is the easiest type?

introspection, emotion-heavy one-shots, or anything with lots of banter. i love writing dialogue.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i tend to write on my computer, sometimes phone or in a journal. i use gdocs though i know i need to stop bc of ai scraping, so i'll go back to ms word or a similar word processor soon. either late at night or when i'm supposed to be working lol (shhh)

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

hmmm i've been wanting to do fic in the form of like epistolaries, video/podcast/radio transcripts, 2nd person narration, newpaper articles, mixed media, etc.etc.

13. What made you choose your username?

lol which one. my ao3 username comes from the song deeper well. i wish i could change it to alphacrone tho, it's easier to remember and i'd like more consistency.

tagging: @ghosthorse @injustspring @displayheartcode idk tag urselves

[farmergadda]

Hey, you design TTRPG games right? I've been wondering, do you think Minecraft would be a good inspiration for a TTRPG setting/rules? I got inspired by your Mario maps to make a campaign in a video game setting !

hyperfixation activated, you are going to perish

A minecraft system/setting is one of my white whales i've struggled with for YEARS now; there's unique challenges in trying to adapt the feel and tone into a tabletop that I've yet to crack. The majority of the issue is that minecraft is meant less as a cohesive setting and more as a platform for creativity. There's PURPOSEFULLY unanswered questions about the lore and world that players are meant to find meaning in themselves. Any attempt to create a game for tabletop players will inevitably run afoul of someone's headcanon and knock them out of the game.

No matter what Game Theory tells you, there is no single cohesive Minecraft Lore, just hundreds of possible answers to the questions the devs leave about, waiting for a player to try and make connections to answer for themselves. The stories players make up for themselves is the result of their own creativity spurred by the prompting of the game world, and everyone comes to a different conclusion. In a TTRPG format, you can make whatever world you want, but each player at the table needs to have an equal and consistant understanding of that world to play in it. Not really conducive to the kind of stories one usually tells with a TTRPG.

Mechanically, Crafting rules in ttrpg need to be incredibly simple, lest they become an inhuman amount of bookkeeping. But if you simplify crafting, which is an entire half of Minecraft's identity, then why are you playing in that world? How can you we make an alalogue system still FEEL like minecraft without making it too large for humans to imagine and follow? I don't really have answers.

It's a fascinating idea and one i'll never give up on. In the meantime, I've been taking slices of Minecraft's world and Design and splicing them into my existing games. Every world I create has a nether/Hecc equivalent, I base my potion brewing systems on minecraft's, and I've started notes for an automatic map generator using Minecraft's Biome System. Here's a good youtube channel that goes into depth with minecraft design and how to make vanilla-like mods; design ideas that could be used to translate something into TTRPG if you squint. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ybh5733DCo

I've also trawled the Minecraft lore tags. @bedrock-to-buildheight has a fantastic interpretation of Minecraft's lore, and once upon a time even gave me the go-ahead to translate it into a world for my personal games.

Maybe someday we'll have a break through and make the Minecraft TTRPG of our dreams...

[neverendinglabyrinth]

"Okay, let's do this one last time."

"My name is Aveline. I was actually bitten by a (non-radioactive) spider once, and for the past three years I've been Tumblr's one and only Spider-Woman."

About me!

I'm fluent in both English and Spanish!

I'm a full time athlete; very proud three-time junior national champion, hoping to qualify for LA 2028, also a part-time artist, graphic designer and video editor.

Animation is the love of my life, my ultimate life goal is to direct my own animated movie!

I love everything colorful and bright and fun! My favorite colors are the neon ones lmao.

I have consistent nightmares and my dreams are structured in a very weird way, sometimes i blog about it.

Obsessed with music to an unhealthy degree and I'm not kidding, I ALWAYS have my headphones on.

I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and you WILL hear me complain about it from time to time.

I love interacting with people who share my interests, so send me an ask, here are some question ideas i found (link) if you don't know what to ask.

Also i have a side blog its @cherry-starz, its literally just reblogs of pretty pictures but it might give you a good insight of what i like outside of fandom and funny posts :)

fandoms:

i am beyond obsessed with these shows/movies please talk to me about them.

★ The Spider-Verse in general! [#spiderverse]

★ Arcane: League of Legends [#arcane]

★ Lockwood & Co [#l&co]

other media i enjoy (no specific tags yet):

How To Train Your Dragon

Coraline

The Last Of Us (game & show)

Big Hero 6

Rise Of The Guardians

Labyrinth (1986)

Alice In Wonderland (all versions tbh)

The Mitchells Vs. The Machines

Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Maze Runner

Phineas & Ferb

Monster High (g1 specifically, idk whats goin on with the new gens rn)

(many others)

tag system:

#art i like | #i love music | #certified internet images | #reblogs

★ my original posts: #neverendingthoughts

★ best posts of all time: #tumblr hall of fame

★ posts i find useful/i want to remember: #important papers

★ other stuff that doesn't fall into any of these categories: #junk drawer

music:

my spotify stats are concerning.

boy, do i LOVE MUSIC! i listen to more than a 1,000 separate artists, and when I say that I listen to everything I MEAN IT! PLAY ME YOUR NICHE CIRCUS AMBIENCE MUSIC AND I WILL PROBABLY EAT THAT SHIT UP!

but to be more specific, my favorite genre is probably rock and everything that falls under it's umbrella, i love me some electric guitar dude it's like a drug.

thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

but before you leave, you must to make a choice:

video 1 vs. video 2

the choice is yours...

(both are safe, one is just slightly more annoying than the other).

[greetingfromthedead]

C58: Project HUMAN

For more information on the series (tags, CW, etc) click the banner!

Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Chapter: 58/84

Words: 2.2k

Warning: This chapter handles some very dark themes including nonconsensual human experimentation, dehumanization, torture, mutilation, impregnation, and miscarriage! You'll find a chapter summary in the end.

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September 25th, 2445

Only 32 days after the restrictions on the blood circulation were removed, Subject 0325 has shown signs of being rebuilt on a genetic level. Samples taken from the blood and vessels contain new cells that are fundamentally different from the subjects own makeup. The genetic change is very small, but still unmistakable. The new cells seem to take after the old ones; the mutations are happening very slowly. I wonder if the process can be accelerated by forcing faster turnover of cells by means of medicated tissue damage. At this point, it is too early to rush the results; we are already ahead of schedule. Subject 0325 has exceeded all expectations and my theoretical calculations.

I have not managed to find any other subjects from cold sleep who are anywhere as good as 0325, but I have started on some less compatible patients, so far with no success. 0427 and 1463 died during the first operation. 4752, 8574, 0145, and 0047 died during the mixing process at, respectively, 45%, 80%, 4%, and 15%, the Plant blood overwhelming their systems. Currently, it is unclear if the subjects or the Plants were defective. All have been disposed of.

October 15th, 2445

52 days after starting the adaptation process Subject 0325 still shows steady progress, but the changes taking effect are slow. The genetic modification and mutation processes seem to be halted by the cell turnover rate. It has become clear that intervention is necessary to get the desired results in the next two years. I will look into medicated cell destruction.

October 20th, 2445

As per my research, I have found a combination that should balance cell destruction and healing, taking into account Subject 0325's current genetic makeup and supreme health. Once the healing overtakes the poison's effectiveness, it is apparent that her body has adapted again, and I can give her a higher dose. This should not affect the Plant yet.

Chemical composition and administration documentation are attached.

You keep swiping to move from the entry to a document listing chemicals and dosages. As it doesn't say much to you, you keep swiping to find a video of you strapped to the hospital bed just as before, but now a silhouette of a man approaches with a syringe. You don't react at all; your head is turned to look at the Plant suffering in her tank beside you. The medication is administered into your arm, and the figure steps back. For a few moments, everything is still, but then your arm that was injected starts to thrash against the restraints, the struggle moving up to your shoulder and chest till your whole body crashes against the belts holding you still. The expression on your face turns to one of pain, and muffled cries escape your mouth. As the video stops, the next log is pulled up.

December 4th, 2445

They are all failures; only 0325 continues to thrive, with the rest dying either due to the Plant blood or show absolutely no sign of adaptation. But my Eve is perfect. The poison tearing her cells apart works wonders; the medication hastens the repair and regeneration of tissue; and with every new generation of cells, there are more mutations, and they are consistent. From that, I presume the DNA has a set path for adapting to the Plant cells. I had to lower the brain activity of 0325 further; she is getting stronger, and her convulsing threatens the experiment. I cannot lose her.

May 3rd, 2446

As per my last report, the Plant is nearing its end. Subject 0325 has exceeded all that I thought possible. She has developed an immunity to the medicine I administer, or it far surpasses the limitations of the Plant. Eve's cellular regeneration is faster than what comes from the medication, making me speculate it is her own power. She must have created a rip in the fabric between our realm and the Higher Plane. It is time to bring her back and continue on to the next phase.

August 14th, 2446

What a year it has been! My research has proceeded with both much more success and failure than I had anticipated. Eve is stronger than ever; she has exceeded all projections and expectations, but not a single other subject has had even close to the same success as her. Those who survive show little to no genetic change, but perhaps I am being hasty. Subject 0325 is an anomaly; I shouldn't expect the same results from others; that's not what a scientist does. It could take years for the adaptation to kick in. But until then, I have Eve.

August 30th, 2446

One month after replacing subject 0325's left lung, liver, and right kidney with ones taken from a Plant. Today's surgery was a success; thanks to her fast healing, there were no complications while taking samples of the replaced organs. The results are shocking. My theory was that subject 0325 would continue adapting with the goal of turning her DNA completely into that of a Plant, but the samples taken show that the Plant cells are adapting to the remains of her human DNA. This either means further mutation is impossible or that the optimal result is closer to human than Plant.

Her injuries heal in days, leaving no scars behind. The implications are immense; it seems her cells know what they need to be, and there is no loss of information between generations. My working theory remains that her telomers have evolved in such a way that they remain unchanged and in tact. This could mean she holds the cure for aging. I wonder what happens if her old scars are cut out; how would they heal?

March 7th, 2454

My glorious Eve, you are everything the human race should be. It has been a year since the adaptation process halted completely; no amount of cell turnover makes a difference. Today I confirmed the test results of both the right arm amputation and the left leg replacement. The healing has reached its limits; a limb can be regrown in a week, but the leg was rejected. There is evidence that subject 0325's body tried to overwrite the Plant DNA and adapt it, but it's like her system decided it was faster to build a new leg than to change the one given. Gashes to the skin and deep stab wounds to the organs heal in a matter of hours. Her pain receptors seem to be numbed too, but only to a small extent; nonetheless, her mind can take a lot more of it before passing out. This has made surgery simple; there is no need to even close the incisions, but gathering fresh samples is harder. Her regeneration seems to stem from the heart. It is unclear what the reason is; perhaps it's simply the body prioritizing what to tend to first, or the tear in the fabric of our world is tied to the heart. I am unsure yet what it could be, and to my sorrow, I have nobody to compare her to. I have decided to take a different route to project HUMAN. She is my proudest creation. I thought she would be the metaphorical Eve, the first of her kind, the first of a new breed of humans, but perhaps it is necessary to try and take a more literal approach.

Subject 0325's DNA is still very close to human, and it makes me wonder what options there are for reproduction and the results of it. Could she get impregnated by a regular, unmodified human, and would the resulting embryo in genetic makeup be closer to her or a human? Would her body make the fetus adapt to her more Plantlike nature, or perhaps would her body reject it completely and miscarry? What about Plants? Could she carry a Plant cell similar to the way Plants are cloned? And again, would she overwrite the fetus's DNA to make it something more like her or something entirely new? Going off the reports from Ship Five, the genetic makeup of an Independent born from a Plant imprinted on a human is very human, in some sense even closer to human than a Plant, yet they are Plants while 0325 is not. If a male Independent was born, would they be compatible in a biological sense, and what would the result be? A new human or an Independent, as she does have a gate, or rather a rip of herself. There are so many questions I desire answers to. But before anything else I must understand her. All these years and still, there are things I don't understand. She is captivating; she is everything.

June 18th, 2455

I have finally been able to prove what the Plant engineers have theorized for so long, and I did it with Eve's soul. After extensive nerve stimulation, the sensors detecting disturbances in the Higher Plane went off, pinging subject 0325. This means I was right; she is, in a way, a generator, except she has no control over the resources. Her energy comes straight from the Higher Plane and seeps into her, which, combined with Plant Regeneration, gives her her healing factor. All these years of tiring tests have finally yielded results! This proves everything I've worked for! I will populate the new world with creatures like her! She is beauty; the other gods have nothing on me. She is perfect!

November 11th, 2455

I'm at a crossroads, with so many things left to discover and so much still to uncover about 0325. How far can she be pushed? How much can be regenerated until she dies? Can she die? Her healing prioritizes her heart (experiment 147, performed April 2nd, 1454 attached), so what exactly is needed to regrow organs and body parts? Is it blood or nerve impulses? Or does the whole data stem from the Higher Plain? If I removed her heart, could she live? And what would regenerate? The body around the heart, or the heart in the body? If she were to burn in a hot enough fire to incinerate her body completely, could she come back? What is the smallest part she could regenerate from, and is it possible to clone her, or is the presence of the fake gate necessary?

I desire more knowledge on my creation, her limits, and her capabilities. I want to know what I created, yet I would risk killing her, and then the dreams of project HUMAN would die with her. I need to get more of her, clones, children, anything to continue, to see more, to learn more, and to experiment more.

She is no good as a living being anymore; her mind has slipped into insanity, and her memories are pulled to the other side each time her soul is dragged to the Higher Plane. She has lost herself; she is only good as a vessel now; she shall incubate new life. By the time we reach the new world, every miserable human on this ship shall be replaced by my perfect creations. I am God, and my name shall be praised as the Father of humanity.

Your trembling hands swipe away from the report to a video; you don't want to see it; you don't want to watch, but you are frozen at the sight. It's your face, but it takes a moment to realize that it's also your body. It is horrifying. In the midst of looming robotic arms and a man dressed in surgical attire is your table; your arms and legs are spread out and strapped down; your torso looks like he's performing an autopsy; you're cut open from your throat to your crotch; surgical clamps are pulling open the cavity of your body; and your organs are on display like a buffet. There are long cuts along your limbs, skin, and muscles pulled apart like an animal hide left to dry. You see your skin trying to reform over the wounds, but the robotic arms pour something on the wounds to get back to the bright red flesh. The human looms over you for a moment, scalpel at the ready, calculating the best route, and then slashes your organs, starting from the belly and moving up. The field fills with blood for a moment, but then more loud buzzing starts, and two arms stick tubes into the blood to suction it away and clear the view just in time to see the heart heal up while everything else still bled. One after another, the cuts close, radiating from the chest; the order is opposite to how the slashes were made. You look frozen as he raises the scalpel, but before he gets to cut you again, Vash pulls the tablet from your hand and throws it onto the bed out of your line of sight.

The room is deathly quiet; if you leave out the buzzing from the video, even your breathing has stopped. You just stare at your hands where the device has been. Your skin is on fire, like you're being ripped apart again. Vash pulls you into a hug, hiding your face against his chest. You are frozen and stiff. Your hands feel as cold as ice when Vash touches them. But it is silent, so very quiet in your head. From the corner of his eye, he sees the man repeating his "experiment" over and over and over again.

Chapter summary:  In this chapter it is revealed how Iris is the only successful experiment of the doctor's, nobody else survives or adapts to the Plant DNA. The logs detail the ways Iris was tortured in the name of the project. Iris' stopped adapting to the Plant matter at some point and instead forced the Plant DNA to adapt to her during an organ transplant). During the experiments the doctor wondered what would happed if he was to cut out any scar tissue. The logs skip 8 years and reveal that Iris no longer adapts Plant organs, instead rejects them and regenerates her own. Regrowing of limbs takes a week. The regeneration stems from the heart, prioritizing the wounds closer to it, but it is unclear why, perhaps the fake gate is located there. The doctor wonders what would happen if the heart is removed: would the body regenerate the heart or the heart build a new body or would the result be death? the limits of Iris' body and healing abilities is unknown. Iris was supposed to be the metaphorical Eve, but due to the other failed experiments, the doctor considers a more literal approach since Iris' DNA is close enough to human, but perhaps Plant cells or a male Independent would yield results too. The doctor is obsessed with his creation even though her conscious mind has slipped away into insanity

For more information and chapters, check out the MASTERLIST.

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[honeyedwordsandblades]

Man, another year, huh?

I know I don't post anything. Honestly, it's mostly bc I haven't figured out how I want to tag things so everything just gets saved to my drafts and some to most of the time I have issues with my body weight and that dissuades me from thinking too much about romance and what not. Not to mention the always tired part.

But my Pinterest and Spotify knows all too well just how much I think and love the boi.

I actually plan on taking a look at my tagging system and refiguring it. Not to mention actually posting. (Or even actually writing!! hm? 👀) And with how more or less consistently motivated I've been lately, that def seems like a very real possibility (that I'll get it all done).

But obviously that's not happening tonight. I'm taking it easy tonight and relaxing.

But, yes, today's me and the boi's anniversary. 11 years. Wow. It's been so long. And I have no intention of stopping just yet, lmao. I'd raise a glass or can of alcohol but I don't have one. (Maybe I should go get one? lol) Here's to another year of us, babe. 🍾🎉🎆

May our love never die. 💚💛💜

[niennawept]

TAG GAME

Because I’m tired of the same one going around but I really like them! Feel free to chain this one or not, up to you!

tagged by the lovely @elithilanor!

Favorite book series:

Hmmm series... I'm gonna go with Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. It's not finished yet, but the man writes super fast and I'm a sucker for outrageously huge fantasy realms with really deep world-building for cultural and political systems (I mean, hence why I love Tolkien).

Favorite stand-alone book:

Circe by Madeline Miller. No, I will never stop gushing about it. I love her prose and I love her interpretation of myths and I love the protagonist.

Which movie did it better than the book:

The Princess Bride. I love both, but the film is better.

Pick: Times New Roman or Arial font

Arial, because it's better suited to how most people read these days. Times is designed for narrow newspaper columns and I find it hard on the eyes for a wider-formatted text.

Florence and the Machine or Hozier?

My love versus my other love? Rude. I'm gonna have to give this one to Florence and the Machine though. There's more variety of mood, so I get upbeat songs and rip-out your heart ones in more equal measure.

Do you prefer handwritten or typing?

Typing, if only because my left wrist has a repetitive stress injury and is my dominant hand. At least typing distributes the work. That being said, I remember things better if I physically write them out and I've been practicing tengwar so *shrug*

Favorite month of the year?

October. It's been my favorite month since I realized as a three-year old that it was the month that contains Halloween. Have always been a little bit spooky.

Song on repeat this week?

Fair by The Amazing Devil. It's got serious ~vibes~ for my long-fic WIP. Or it would in a modern AU, I guess.

Pick one: Cats or dogs?

If I must choose, dogs. But you must understand that this is a very near thing. I love both, but I am only allergic to cats (not that that's stopped me before).

Hot drinks or cold drinks for the rest of your life?

Can't drink hot drinks in the summertime here. Regularly gets to 100F/37.8C. Nope, cold drinks forever (sorry throat when I'm sick).

Bonus: favorite book as a child (0-12)

I'm gonna go with The Hobbit, because it was consistently my favorite since I was eight and I don't remember the books I read before it very well.

Extra bonus: when was the last time you went to your local library? (Digitally or in person?)

Couple of weeks ago to return some books. I did not check out any new ones because I got a haul of Legendarium books for my birthday.

No pressure tags: @dwarveslikeshinythings, @brynnmclean, @thenookienostradamus, @astro-gnome

[teddyveil]

here is my carrd for anyone who is curious about what I'll be posting here !!

song rec of the "week":

if anyone is curious about why I moved blogs & more info (under the cut):

please understand that I still love the kids. I have loved them since I found them 8 years ago and the love I have will most likely never ever go away.

it hurts to have distanced myself as far as I have already; but I can't comfortably make my whole blog about/morally support skz if they don't boycott and understand that they can't be complicit in a genocide with their huge following.

Twitter fans are the worst of it, but I've still noticed a lot of silence everywhere and I'm dropping links for resources to donate(if you can) and share:

daily click - arab.org

sign petitions - ceasefire-now.com

ceasefiretoday.com

e-sims - gazaesims.com

hygiene kits - piousprojects.org/campaign/2712

care for gaza - gofundme.com/f/careforgaza

I also have become tired of making separate blogs to talk about my interests.

I don't want to stick to just talking about kpop or memes; I wanna talk about my mcyts, anime, games, my job, my hyperfixations, and memes.

from now on, it'll be a very mixed bag of what I love and I'm not going to be apologetic about posting what I enjoy.

tagging system:

I know I'm not the best with tagging, but I will like to establish my own unique tagging system to seperate my interests in case you don't wanna see it !!

I'm thinking of using an emoji system, and it'll be very very random to the vibe I feel atm :)

Kpop -- #🌸

- Kpop will be 🌸. I trust it's simple to get the gist of the whimsy and fun.

Anime -- #⚔️

- I watch a lot of anime that consists of fighting and a sword matched that general vibe to me; although I love the cute slice-of-life ones too.. get it ?? slice of life.. ahaha I'll go now

Gaming -- #🗺️

- the map makes sense as I play games that are more open world and I can do whatever I want on them !!

Youtube -- #❤️‍🩹

- idk if it'll actually make sense, but I think it does !! I used to come home from school upset about my days everyday, and my youtubers made me feel better and laugh and smile and gave me the sense of community !! a lot of them sadly srent actually good people; yet the memories of being comforted is still a happy memory for me.

Ranting -- #🔥

- yeah idk 😭 im gonna rant and just tag it like this !!

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @izzy-b-hands Thank you so much!! I know tag games are slowly fading from fashion, but they are a lovely excuse to rant a bit!

1.) ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Nope! When my mother gave birth she randomly chose a name from a book she liked! She was between two, one becoming my name second becoming my middle name! (My middle name being -Amaya!)

I have been debating changing my, but it's a misspelling of a common name. If someone says it there's a 50/50 chance they say the male spelling, so I can't *not* appreciate it. That and it flows off the tongue with my last name.

[BUT OMG- Izzy would be *such* a good nickname. My ongoing gender crisis makes it hard to choose just 1.(Though I will 100% get a spade/swallow/Polaris(4-pointed star) tattoo on my hand at some point)]

2.) WHEN WAS THE LAST NIGHT YOU CRIED?

I don't know. Probably around 2-3 months ago??? I've been very busy lately, and usually only cry with fic or when it just *naturally* happens. I've been stressed, so I think I'll plan out a good cry this weekend!

Recently I've been frustrated after I received critiques about how I write in a few college classes, which has been a bit rough, but I'll learn from it. A lot of this has to do with how having a bad attention span affects how I write(if you're a follower of mine, you've definitely noticed my errors). I've noticed this in my fanworks as well, a lot of missed words or autocorrects incorrectly editing my work. I am debating going back and re-editing everything out of embarrassment. A combination of ADHD+ Dyslexia is hell when you like writing.

3.) DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No! No hate to those who do, but I don't think I could be a parent. I know I CAN but I haven't beaten my demons yet, and I wouldn't want to pass them down. I want to make sure I can work through my own habits first.

If I could afford them? I would be much more 50/50. In a few years if my partner REALLY wants them, and we have a support system to help raise them, and we can afford them? MAYBE. I'm the eldest in my family, so maybe I'll get to be a cool uncle.

4.) WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

I'm very uncoordinated. I tried out for the volleyball team when I was around 13, and didn't make the team. On top of having issues showing up consistently that would have made weekly practice hell, I have always been a twig. In High School, after I figured my own habits out a bit more, I was in band/marching band and theater!

Today, I work on my feet, and enjoy indoor rock climbing and weight lifting. Though it really doesn't look like I do!

5.) DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Yes! But it doesn't land unless you've known me forever. I think I'm a hoot, but if I take the energy I bring hanging out with family into the real world? It doesn't transfer. My humor is very dry and half the time people end up explaining how 'you don't understand___' when in reality, I was making a joke. Now I'm getting a lecture.

6.) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Besides outward appearance, I tend to notice moods pretty well before they start talking. Stress, anxiety, anger, happiness, etc, someone's body language. Might be a survival mechanism from growing up with my parent, but it's helpful. THAT and I have a really bad resting bitch face, and 'sad' looking eyes that make me not, look happy 90% of the time. If I do, I'm purposefully smiling.

The 'energy' someone brings to the conversation usually determines how it's going to go. I'm awful with names and faces. At my current job, I've been there since November and can only name 5/40ish coworkers. It's currently March.

Body part-wise? Eyes. I force eye contact like it's no one's business.

7.) WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Brown! Dark brown, not yet black. I usually wear brown glasses to match my brown hair+eyes. Plus a brown jacket/boots. Overall, I also dress in a LOT of browns. Very 70s-style white hippie meets flannels!

8.) SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

BOTH!

I'm joking, but in all actuality, I just need narrative consistency that fits the tone of your story. Realize if it's a tragedy or comedy and give it a fitting ending.

If we assume this question is more 'do you want to be scared/sad from the stuff you watch or do you just want comfort media?' I heavily lean more comfort. Though I love taking these shows and turning them a bit horrific, it's always to serve a central idea of character growth.

'Character A from show needs to learn a lesson'. Alright, what if the thing that teaches them this lesson is a ghost. Or if a character is thrown into the world suddenly alone-they to have them learn they are competent and not helpless. If that makes any sense.

I enjoy horror/tragedy as a group of tropes but enjoy it more as a way to tell a human story.

9.) ANY TALENTS?

I would frame them as hobbies more than talents, as I've never been naturally good at anything.

I enjoy playing bass guitar/guitar, I embroider, and of course, I write. But I am trying to improve in all of these as I go about my life.

For my instruments, I rely on Rocksmith! I love hooking up an instrument, turning my mind off, and letting my fingers do the work as I listen to songs I like on repeat. As I mentioned with being uncoordinated above with sports, it's slow progress, but I'm having fun doing it!

When I write, I know I have issues really editing my work. I'll change a sentence, and miss a few words in the edit, so now the entire paragraph doesn't flow. That, with dyslexia and the writing platform I use having a less than reliable spell check? Yeah. I wish to improve in how I write. My sentences often don't flow together. I jump from thought to thought, but I'm getting better at catching my thoughts. I only just started writing again in 2022, so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.

I've been told I'm good with lecturing, but that's just from my love of writing essays.

10.) WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Small town in Montana, USA. I've lived in Texas, Hawaii, and Virginia due to family being in the military until I was in my early teens. I would say I'm a Montana'ian, as I've spent over half of my life here. It's not awful, the price of living is getting bad as nature lovers with money take the property, but things could be worse. I wish I could leave the US. However, I've realized I need to grow my career and have experience before any country would let me emigrate. So I'll be in my thirties before I have the chance to. (I have no idea if that GIF is in Montana but it fits the vibe)

11.) WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, reading, drawing(it's god awful, but I doodle), listening to music, and I've been trying to get into recording podfics for a year at this point. My hatred of my own voice is seriously holding me back.

12.) DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes! I currently have two cats of my own, Polly and Cricket. Both of whom I have inserted into the random fic, as some overly proud pet parents can admit to. They've been with me since early high school, 2016ish. As I currently live with family and do online school, they live with me, and have since 2020. But, due to me going back to in-person classes this fall, my mother will be taking them back. I highly empathize with @izzy-b-hands as I will be in a similar situation soon. Shit sucks!

13.) HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'9/5'10. Taller if I'm in my boots! I enjoy it.

14.) FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Even with my issues keeping a consistent thought, and god-awful dyslexia, I loved English. I averaged around a 90% even if I tried my hardest, but I just fell in love with story analysis and literature. Back then I was convinced a STEM field would save me, so I graduated with 7 math courses and 6 sciences completed in 4 years. Only indulging in the 1 required English in all four years of school. If not for the pandemic and college making me realize I hated most sciences, I wouldn't have fallen back in love with writing. Not taking the schools english classes was my main regret in Highschool.

So either English or History. History was easy for me-I had A+'s in all my courses. Mainly because I memorized historical events like one would a story. Good stuff though.

15.) DREAM JOB?

Writer-teacher-therapist. I am working on becoming the ladder but honestly, the retention rate is so low, most leave the field in their first ten years. I wouldn't want to be a teacher to gen alpha kids, given how most are years behind their grade. But a professor wouldn't be a bad job.

My want to be a therapist comes from controlling some of my hours, and in-depth interactions with the public that go beyond fake customer service smiles. I hate dehumanization and all my jobs so far have been putting on more masks that I already have been struggling to take off for years. That, and I have issues doing work I'm not passionate about but I already see myself falling in love with the field. Especially drug rehabilitation work. My main hesitancy is how our current healthcare system in the US is unaffordable and hard to manage for the insured or uninsured.

If being a therapist falls through, I've enjoyed most of my janitorial jobs. I enjoy working at warehouses right now, given how they let you listen to music and the work is independent, but I've most enjoyed being a janitor in a hospital's kitchen. Maybe I can take the analysis I do here and make YouTube videos? Who knows. I don't dream of labor, but a menial 9-5 where I clock out and have a life sounds perfect. I am not what my job position says I am.

But @izzy-b-hands is right, any sugar-baby situation is preferable!

[anyroads]

I'm also an American citizen married to a Brit. This is nice and all but the NHS doesn't just need to be saved from privatization. It needs to be saved, period. It needs to be fixed. For three decades the Tories have been bashing it to bits in ways that now have a monumental price tag, and people in this country are so used to it being the way it is they don't even know what to challenge or how to do it. Often, they just accept it.

Did you know that when the NHS started switching to a digital system 25 years ago, the Tories deliberately didn't invest in a universal system? So now every single hospital uses a different digital system to organize their records and databases, and most of these systems don't talk to each. They can't export files into formats that can be digitally transferred because of security vulnerabilities. Which means records are transferred between surgeries via paper mail (both an inconvenience and a money pit). Hospitals are only now starting to host patient portals, and you still can only use them to see messages from the hospital staff, but you can't contact anyone through it.

The NHS also wastes an insane amount of money. There's very little preventative medicine, including no annual checkups and no consistent GP. Where in the US you have a single GP who you visit each time you need basic care, and who you go to for checkups (which is often how chronic illnesses like cancer are flagged), in the UK you see a different doctor every time you make an appointment. Your appointment is 12 minutes long, shorter if they can push you out the door fast enough, and most of it is spent catching the doctor up on your medical history since they don't know you. And that's only when you have a problem that needs tending to; there are no annual checkups so unless you know how to spot every potential cancer or other disease yourself, good luck.

The person above who told the story about their wife? Their insurance may not have covered cancer treatment in the US but their doctor may have caught it much earlier, requiring less overall treatment. An NHS GP will literally look at your problem and say, "you'll probably be fine and if not, go to A&E" (accident & emergency, aka the ER/urgent care). Which is probably one of the reasons there are currently up to 99 hour waiting lists at A&Es (that and the fact that they're understaffed and overfunded). A friend of mine undergoing IVF treatments ran out of their NHS funding for the procedure because after several failures their doctor wouldn't run extra tests because it was "unlikely" that they had any unusual problems (this attitude in general care also makes it harder for people with rare conditions to get diagnosed, let alone get help). They are now spending money on private IVF treatments, and the first thing their new doctor is doing is running those same tests, because it's a waste of money and resources not to.

Want to hear my own NHS stories? The admin staff in my GP's office have actively tried to prevent me getting access to basic medicine that was prescribed, due to administrative malpractive. GPs and specialist alike regularly tell patients to pass along messages about their care to other doctors/offices, wasting weeks of time because it doesn't work. Doctors don't listen to patients, they listen to other doctors (sometimes), and patients don't have medical admin training so they aren't good at transmitting messages, yet this is common practice. I spent 3 years telling every GP I saw I'm prone to a vitamin deficiency and they ignored it until I ended up at a specialist who ran a test and it turned out I now had a severe deficiency. So now the NHS had to pay for a 12 week course of intensive vitamin doses, instead of for a single blood test a year and letting me buy my own low-dose pills at Boots to take with my daily multi-vitamin. I've been called in for appointments that I did not need, wasting not only my time but the GP's time and delaying care for other patients. I've been called in for blood tests I didn't need because the admin system is so imprecise, wasting those resources. If my blood tests come back normal I don't get a follow up even if my symptoms persist, which means that by the time I get them dealt with the condition has worsened and I now need a specialist whereas before I could have just gotten a cheap over the counter treatment. A friend of mine recently had an infected wound that their GP dismissed (again, telling them to go to A&E if it gets bad). They went to a private GP who put them on antibiotics, and if they hadn't, my friend could have gotten sepsis and ended up needing hospital care for it (again, lack of preventative care leading to higher costs). It's near impossible to get an appointment anywhere because staff are out sick so often, but staff in medical facilities also no longer wear masks and practices are taking down the plexiglass that protects staff from patients (which costs them money to do and increases staff absences due to illness). I had recurring UTI symptoms but kept testing negative for it a few years ago and was referred for tests by several specialists. They yielded normal results, but the testing gave me a raging UTI and I ended up in A&E with a fever, waiting for over 6 hours and was only seen because I almost passed out after my fever got worse while waiting. I was given antibiotics and the problem ceased. In retrospect, it's likely that if my GP had requested a culture instead of just a standard UTI test, they would have spotted the infection and treated it, saving the NHS money on specialists. (As part of that whole process, I kept having my appointment deferred by one of the specialists, who I finally spoke with in person only to have him sexually harass me. When I submitted a complaint to the hospital, the outcome was that they don't think I should see the doctor but as they have no one else on staff who shares his position, I will need to get referred to another doctor at another hospital, which meant starting the process from scratch with my GP and dealing with months-long waiting lists again).

My time, my doctors' time, and staff's time and money are consistently wasted. And it's deliberate. Because the Tories, who want the NHS to be privatized and for the UK to switch to the US's insurance system, keep implementing system-wide practices that are wasteful and make the system non-functional. They keep decreasing funding, and were well aware that one of the effects of Brexit would be that a lot of nurses and hospital staff would be forced to leave the UK. Which is why we have insane wait times, no resources, and overworked and underpaid staff. Meanwhile, individual practices have hiring practices that are legitimately insane and unchecked, ie. people will regularly just hire friends and relatives instead of qualified people who have even a basic training in medical administration. Patients suffer because of it. Patients DIE because of it.

The NHS's attitude towards covid at this point is basically, if it could kill you we'll give you support, but if it'll only give you a lifelong disability we don't care (again, very little preventative care). Of course, that just means more money and resources for the NHS, so instead of investing in vaccinating people and offering antivirals for another year or two, they're creating tens of thousands of long-term-care-dependant patients who will need NHS services regularly for years, possibly decades. I have 2 chronic illnesses that make me vulnerable to covid (not to mention I already have long covid), but when I had it again recently I was refused antivirals because I'm not on immuno-suppressants like cancer patients and therefore I didn't "need" them. The NHS has already re-defined "we can't afford to give everyone who needs it this medication" to "therefore they don't need it." In the US, my friends who had covid immediately got antivirals prescribed, without needing to prove vulnerability. No one in the UK under 65 has been vaccinated for over a year unless they fit into the very narrow categories of vulnerability that qualify them as exceptions. They've recently lowered the eligibility to people over 50, but the handful of eligible people are now up for their 5th vaccine while everyone else got cut off at 3, so it's unlikely most people will receive another one. Yet hospitals are overloaded, ambulances unavailable, and case numbers high again. The attitude of vulnerable=could die instead of vulnerable=can be severely affected and/or die has contributed greatly to this, not least because we basically have an unvaccinated population now, increasing the risk of infections being bad ones for people who would count as vulnerable by most other Western medical standards.

Because here's the thing: socialized health care is a good system, but only if it's run functionally and invested in. It's not as simple as, "protect the NHS." The entire system is in shambles and needs major investment to be fixed. That requires commitment. It requires patients to submit complaints and push back against bad practices. It requires you to go out and vote against the Tories. It requires writing your MP regularly. It requires British people to complain and demand better, which they won't do because God forbid they make a fuss or upset anyone. British people will literally let their doctors kill them through neglect rather than risk feeling like an inconvenience.

OP posted a nice story and all, but for anyone who has to exist in this system who has any kind of chronic illness, "keep is from being privatized" is a bullshit low bar to clear. I want to support the NHS, but when I see posts that put it on a pedestal like this it genuinely makes me want to hurl things.

[starlightelegy]

first sentence tag game

I have been tagged by @mattresses-and-macaroni , thank you 🙏

Post the first sentence in your last 10 works; if you don't have 10, do as many as you have.

Tagging everyone who sees this and wants to do it!

Those are all from Starlight Elegy since this is the only project I'm actually working on, my other projects are still in the world building phase.

"The Stars find a way" part 1

Ganymede had his own way of coping. Cutting everyone off, isolating himself, jumping on his spaceship and blowing up a bunch of space rocks. The things people do to show how they feel. And to say it was working would be the biggest lie.

"The Stars find a way" part 2

This morning, Ganymede woke up feeling rested for the first time in many long years. The light of the sun gently came to light up the room he was in and softly caressed his skin.

"The Divine Hand"

A week had passed, and my days consisted of training in the simulator, helping Asteroid and Mars with their tasks and learning with Ganymede, and that was really the hardest part because, first of all, I had no idea what we were doing most of the time.

"The dream"

I opened my eyes. This dream was no ordinary dream. It was as if someone had broken into my head to communicate with me. I looked at the clock. Three o'clock in the morning. Unfortunately, I did not feel like going back to sleep.

"Black Star"

A couple of days after that night with Ganymede, i started to recover from my injuries. My leg did not hurt as much anymore, but I was left with some ugly scars. Well, at least I was alive.

"Starmates"

I woke up early. The night was still dark. Despite being under my blankets, I felt cold. Not cold as if the temperature was low, but more like...a feeling. The dream, it gave me chills. Not in a good way, but not in a bad way either.

"Before the storm"

I woke up a few hours later, the sun almost at its zenith. This time I felt good, well rested, and I did not have any dream. What woke me up was something moving behind me. I looked at my hand and saw that someone was holding it. I smiled, knowing perfectly who it was.

"Last night on Earth"

This morning I woke up not feeling particularly well, my anxiety already kicking in. I looked at the window. The store was open, yet everything was still dark. Next to me, the bed was empty, but still warm, indicating that Ganymede left not long ago.

"Sting"

After half a day of flying through different star systems, i was finally able to see our destination. Cosmoport was a medium-sized planet orbiting, alongside two other planets, a red dwarf, a star similar to the Sun. The planet had a brownish color and was covered in dark clouds. "I hope you don't mind rain."

"Lumira"

I was gazing through the windows of the spaceship, my mind wandering somewhere else. I was tired, and focusing on my tasks was hard. And what was worse was that there was nothing particularly interesting to see outside, as we were in an empty part of the galaxy. Just a few stars shining in the distance.