#i don't handle horror well
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the-potato-beeper · 3 months ago
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running on maybe three hours of sleep today bc i stayed up wayyyyy too late reading fic
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Peeped the horrors
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ancha-aus · 4 months ago
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Training
I am back with this AU :D @spotaus
This drabble is a lot earlier than the last few drabbles. shortly after Nightmare's first birthday, and kidnapping.
The gang decides they should really start to learn more about their new powers :3
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Cross nods as he crosses his arms “You guys ready?”
Dust looks very unhappy to be up already, Horror is next to him trying to get him to stand up. Killer just grins and salutes “Yes sir!” and he throws in a wink.
Cross ignores the obvious flirt as he tells his own body to cool it. Not the time nor place.
Cross takes a deep breath and continues on with what he was saying “Good! It is time we do something which we should have done long ago.”
Killer raises a hand “Make out more?”
Dust just keeps laying in the dirt. Not making a single move to get up “We already do that now.”
Killer nods “We should still do it more.”
Cross sputters and glares “Training! We need to train!” They had tugged Nightmare in for a nap in a nice warm little nest in a sunny spot nearby them. He is still sound asleep and hopefully he will sleep right through this all.
Cross has high hopes for that as Nightmare seemed to hardly wake up whenever they made noise.
Cross glares at the two on the ground “I am serious!”
Horror chuckles and stands by his side “Calm Cookie.” And he rubs his shoulder and Cross feels part of him melt as Horror smiles at him. God what did he do to deserve them all?
Cross feels reassured and turns back to Killer and Dust his two more unmotivated mates, oooh he is still not over the fact he can call them his mates now! “I am serious! We need to practise our new powers!” especially with Nightmare suddenly getting new powers as well. They need to be prepared.
If… if anything like that kidnapping happens again… Cross had been so lucky his powers just… worked with him instead of doing the normal uncontrollable flickering in and out of view. They need to practise this and work on it! They need to be ready!
Killer sighs as he leans on his hand “How do we plan to do that exactly? I don’t have something that we can just work with without going around town and telling lies and hoping it doesn’t backfire. And Dusty still shocks us when he gets overcharged.”
Dust just points at Killer as if to say ‘what he said.’
Horror hums “May be hard… but we need to practise and learn. Having the powers and magic won’t be useful until we can control them and know their limits.”
Cross nods “We can’t count on powers we can’t control. Even if we can’t control it we need to at least understand our limits a bit better.”
Killer pouts “You guys are my limit.” Then he grins and winks as he finger guns at them “And my weakness.”
Dust groans from the ground as he just covers his face with his arm “Can’t believe I agreed to this madness.”
Killer grins and pokes his cheek “You did! And now you are stuck with me!” Killr sounds very happy about it.
Cross glares “Guys I am serious! What is Nightmare gets taken again and we can’t do anything because we don’t understand our powers!?”
Killer’s face grows dark as he crosses his arms “Won’t happen again.”
Cross glares “We don’t know that. That is why we need to practise and learn.” He checks his mates. Killer sighs but gives in with a pout and a nod. Dust may not have moved but he is still here which counts. Horror had been down for this idea from the start.
Cross nods “Good!”
Dust speaks from the ground “How exactly?”
Cross frowns as he thinks “well… we need to figure out what triggers the powers… So try some stuff…” He stands up taller “I will go first!” It is easy! He did this before. He knows how to train and practise new skills or ideas for moves. He just needs to get in the right mindset.
Horror nods and joins Killer and Dust, forcing Dust to sit up right as well.
Cross takes a few deep breaths. Something about his magic makes him able to be invisible. Lets try that first.
He thinks about hiding. About staying out of sight. About following people quietly.
Cross opens a socket but sees this three boyfriends still watching him. Okay. He is still visible.
Mmh.
Cross closes his sockets and thinks. Hiding. Being invisible. Not being noticed.
No exclaim that it worked.
Cross stops as he taps his chin in thought. He is doing something wrong with this. He doesn’t even feel his magic react to his request.
Killer leans on a hand as he watches “No luck?”
Cross shakes his skull “Not yet… It doesn’t react to me thinking and wanting to hide or anything like it… I figured that would be a trigger at least.”
Horror frowns “Nothing?”
Cross sighs as he rubs his neck “Nothing.”
Dust yawns as he watches “Maybe it wasn’t hiding. You weren’t exactly hiding when you went after those assholes who took Nightmare.”
Cross frowns and shakes his skull “I was thinking about following them and not being noticed.” Neither worked.
Dust yawns “I would say you were doing a bit more than just being not noticed or following them but sure. It is a start.”
Killer shoots Dsut a look “I mean. We always notice him anyway.”
Dust snorts and nods “Very true.”
Horror looks at both of them disapproving but shoots him an apologetic smile.
Cross however knows he has a frown on his face. Thinking back to when his powers tended to activate… Generally it was when he wanted to hide or not be seen. But when he thought about more context to when he wanted that. Then it only happened when he was already nervous about something. Normally in some way related to them being discovered and found. Or more specifically, Nightmare being found.
But when it reacted? When it actually did what he wanted and needed? It was when he was focused on hunting down the pieces of filth that took their babybones…
Cross takes another deep breath and focuses. He thinks back to that mad dash. That rushed feeling. The need to get his baby back to his side right that second.
That is when this power had answered. That is when he had had most control. Without even needing to think. It had moved and done what he wanted without having to focus.
It isn’t about focus.
It isn’t about control.
It is about trust.
Cross forces his shoulders to relax. Focusses on the trust he feels in his mates. The trust in himself to do what he can. That he is able.
“Cross you are doing it!”
Cross opens a socket and watches as patches of him are hidden and others aren’t. It doesn’t feel like being gone or being unnoticed… It feels like parts of him are covered in a thin blanket. Cross mentally grabs it and just imagines wrapping himself with it.
And he is gone from view.
“Cross you did it!” Killer cheers “Way to go Crossy!”
Cross however has no control. It is like how he trusts his body to catch him when he jumps off something. How he trusts his body to run and catch him. How he trusts his movement.
It isn’t just a power he can lead or learn to control. It is different. It is like his body.
Cross takes a few steps around. Noticing that he is completely silent as well. huh. Strange. Still Cross speaks just to test “Seems like it isn’t only sight. My steps are much more silent than I am used to.”
Dust tilts his skull confused “Well.. .when you speak we can hear you just fine…”
Horror hums “Like when you want to speak you are obvious. But otherwise hidden.”
Cross shakes his skull and his mates blink confused at him. Cross glances down and sees his is visible again. Huh. As soon as he wanted-no, tried to communicate nonverbal he became visible again.
It isn’t focus. It isn’t thought.
Cross looks up at them “It is instinct.”
Horror, Killer and Dust all share confused looks before looking at Cross.
Cross shakes his skull as he tries to put his thoughts into words “It is instincts. These powers? It is more than just power or magic or movements. It is more than skill. It is about…” he can’t find the words. It is so strange. He is used to having to practise and work and try again and again. Failing over and over until you finally get the basics and then you work from there.
The powers are still finicky. Unpredictable. But they are there. Ready to work at just the right… need? Want? Wish? Hope? Anything for them to work.
Killer hums thoughtful “huh… maybe that is why my stuff just… acts the whole time? Because when I tell white lies I want people to believe it? So it just does the thing…” He frowns “especially with the woman in fur and mud… explains why she hasn’t tried to sue us yet.”
Dust glares at him “Don’t tempt faith…” but he leans on his leg “Doesn’t explain my stuff… the static just grows a lot… and if I don’t use magic we get another thunder storm situation.”
Horror shakes his skull “it does make sense. You want to protect Nightmare. Be ready. Your magic and body and power work together to have everything it needs to act right away.”
Dust frowns before huffing as he looks to the side “Whatever.”
Cross feels his soul give a little flutter. Can you blame him?! Dust looks so embarrassed wit his tiny blush!
Killer grins as Horror “Your turn H!”
Cross nods and quickly changes places with Horror.
Horror seems to think as he stands there. Considering the ground for a moment before making a pulling motion.
The ground shudders and a tiny piece of ground seems to slowly move over while other ground moves to fill in the space left behind.
Killer sighs as he leans against his knee as he stares “Looking good!”
Cross can’t help but agree. Horror has somehow figured his stuff out just passively. By careful and gentle nudging and feeling the powers out. He hadn’t been able to explain just muttered about moving what felt natural.
Killer had sighed wishfully that he wished he could do that stuff.
Cross for one is happy Killer doesn’t have this power. He would either try to dig a very deep hole or just make a very large tower. Cross isn’t sure which option would be worse.
Horror shrugs as he moves back to the group. He joins them and Dust leans against his side. Staring hard at the ground that moved so effortlessly for Horror.
Cross smiles at Horror “amazing.”
Horror shrugs as he mutters “It is physical. I don’t create or destroy stuff. It is about moving stuff one way and pushing other stuff to fill what is left…” he shrugs.
Dust chuckles as he just leans against Horror “That is amazing…” he stares at his own hand and frowns.
Horror just pulls him closer as Killer leans happily against Dust with a large grin “Your lightning is real cool~” Killer lowers his voice in a purr as he keeps staring at Dust. Cross isn’t sure if Killer is trying to flirt right now, or force Dust to believe what he says even if Killer knows his power doesn’t work against them. Killer just continues to talk when he sees Dust roll his eyes. Killer purrs and just lays on Dust as he purrs at him. Dust looks away from him with a tiny blush.
Killer grins and purrs “So much power. Just at the tips of your fingers. Only thing keeping it from exploding and destroying everything is your control and stubbornness to keep it tempered down~ Yet not once did you ever zap Nighty with it.” Killer grins wider as Dust starts to blush and look embarrassed.
Yeah. Cross gets it. Killer can get intense with his affection… Cross also still gets overwhelmed with it.
Cross is happy they know how to help Dust. It sometimes stings a little that those three had already been so close long before Cross joined them. He notices it with moments like these. When he is lost in what to do or how to act or help and-
Oh no Kiler is watching him.
Killer looks at him critically before grinning and pulling him closer until he is right up against Dust and Killer expends to cover both their laps.
Killer grins at Cross with a clearly mischievous look in his eyes “Great idea Cross! And you figured your stuff out so quickly! You just needed a moment to learn and study your skill and boom! You understand it! and thanks to that we could better understand ours! Fucking brilliant and fucking talented. Skilled beyond believe and you know yourself and your magic so well which just makes this so much more impressive!”
Cross knows he is blushing. He tugs his little bandana up to try and cover part of his face. His bandana had been a gift from the others… because he mentioned how he used to have his own bandana much like blue used to have. And they just got him a new one. It is a nice grey one with purple stripes. It is soft and fuck now he is just more embarrassed as he tries to hide from Killer’s compliments with the very gift his mates gave him!
Horror doesn’t stop it. Instead he just smiles at them with that handsome little smile as Dust and him just have to suffer through the storm of compliments.
Killer grins as he looks so happy as he just stares up at them from his spot of honour “And then you guys just look fucking amazing when we have some time to ourselves as well.”
Cross glares as he feels like his skull will explode and he hisses “Killer. Not with Nightmare so close.”
Killer laughs and winks at them “It is fine. He is asleep anyway-”
A small yawn “Are we cuddling?”
They turn around and spot Nightmare standing next to them. One hand rubbing his sockets while he other is holding unto one of the blankets from his other nest.
Dust is quick to focus on their baby “We are taking a break from practise. You slept well?”
Nightmare yawns again and climbs over Killer to get to the spot where Cross and Dust sit against one another. Nightmare gets to his spot which makes him able to snuggle into both their sides. A happy little hum as he closes his sockets.
Cross carefully takes the little blanket and tugs it around their little child. All cozy and comfortable.
Killer’s purring has only grown in volume as he watches them. Perfectly comfortable to lay across their laps with Nightmare snuggled in against all three of their sides.
Horror pulls them closer and sighs happily “A break sounds perfect.”
Cross laughs and nods. Sure they hadn’t practised much yet but they already got their goal completed. Which was to better understand their powers.
Now? He just wants to enjoy this moment. How comfortable and loved he feels between his mates with their son.
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cairafea · 1 year ago
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houseki no kuni brainrot doodles. ichikawa please release the new chapter soon the hnk countdown twitter account is gonna run out of pages to attach to each tweet
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millennium-compendium · 1 year ago
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Part of the pain of being a csm fan is wanting to talk to your friends about characters like Reze and Quanxi and so many others, but you can't elaborate without major spoilers and that fucking sucks so you just gotta hyperfixiate in silence :/
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manasurge · 6 months ago
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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cloudd-nyne · 8 months ago
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.
#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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razzek · 2 months ago
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Aww I'm all out of Magnus Archives long fics to read. :C Gonna have to keep digging and see if there's anything to my tastes I haven't read yet that's at least over 10k words.
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skaruresonic · 2 months ago
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no fear
"Bloober remaking Silent Hill 3, which has far fewer defenders because the game gets classified either as 'cult crap' or 'women's horror,' ignoring its psychological elements"
one fear
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llycaons · 7 months ago
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'a good villain is a hero who goes too far' sure sometimes but sometimes you just want a maladjusted little freak. like look at xue yang. I dare you to tell me he's a bad villain
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flameswallower · 1 year ago
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I'm genuinely very sad that twitter is slowly dying. There just aren't good alternatives for me-- this website and blue sky are the closest, but not only will trying to build a following be pretty exhausting, the culture on both sites is terminally square. Sorry, but it's true! In different ways; still, nevertheless.
The culture on twitter, conversely, was always a toxic waste pit, but in ways I generally found/find it easier to evade or ignore than most people seem to. Some of that is luck; some of it's that I'm white and not a woman or someone who reads to most people as a woman, and I don't get into direct arguments with transphobes, and so I evade the worst harassment brigades.
But I think a lot of it comes down to the same reason I prefer to hang out with overtly "mean" and "scary" people than with "nice" people sometimes. I would rather be in a situation where
1.) I know others can stand up to me and won't take any bullshit if I accidentally make them uncomfortable, overstep boundaries, etc.;
2.) conflict and disagreement will not be perceived as abusive or as The End Of the World, ditto if I have an Oops! It's the Autism/ADHD! moment and respond in a socially inappropriate way because I misunderstood a situation or couldn't control my impulse to say something/laugh at something I found funny;
3.) I need not fear that anybody will clutch their pearls and get on my case for being a little *~**edgy**~*, for existing as a sexual being, for using drugs, for describing things that have happened to me in the past, for writing horror fiction that sometimes deals with extreme or taboo subject matter, for not keeping myself scrupulously PG-rated the way I would around children when I'm with other adults, and/or for inadvertently saying something insensitive/ignorant that I later apologize for;
4.) my contrarianism gets to manifest as being kind and considerate and unusually patient/open/compassionate with people who are being jagoffs or are clearly disturbed or whatever, as opposed to manifesting in argumentative behavior, pushing boundaries, and telling people to go fuck themselves
Basically, I need to find the social media platform or subsection thereof that's equivalent to a group of goths and punks in a condemned building imbibing unwise chemical combinations and giving each other terrible stick-and-pokes of cartoon characters smoking weed or doing tijuana bible shit. One of the punks named himself a slur (it's okay, he can reclaim it). Several of the goths are sex workers. Practically everybody has been to the psych ward, jail, or both. A few people use it/its pronouns specifically as a fuck you to normies. One girl's clothes are filled with rats.
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yardsards · 2 years ago
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on one hand it's probably for the best that there were no jokes about rainer's disability but on the other hand, rainer absolutely strikes me as a fellow member of the "uses our visible disability for lame puns and prop comedy" gang
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coolmariadotcom · 1 year ago
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meatymidnightmultiverse · 1 year ago
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By the way, Omori has been really fun so far. I only play it piece by piece and I'm trying for a good ending. The psychological horror is good and I can actually handle it for the most part, the gameplay is a blast
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kakusu-shipping · 2 years ago
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Oh btw unrelated to anything yesterday while I was dying of Tummie Hurtie I decided it’d be more fun story wise if both my FNaF S/Is ended up dead by the end of their stories.
It’s a horror game and I don’t want to treat it gently just become the developers did.
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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I've decided to watch The Last of Us in the same way I rewatch John Carpenter's The Thing (1982), which means I'm only watching the parts with the cool special effects and skipping literally everything else!
Like, I'm sure all of the grayish beige misery that makes up the rest of the show is quite well done, but I don't wanna see it.
The main character of the show I am watching is gonna be the fungus. Anything that is not the fungus is of no consequence to the plot line I am following. Fungus don't care if little girl dies. Fungus gotta fung! And fung it shall!!
The plot line I am following, by the way, is "me, Jack, getting better at horror art and monster design, which means if I like these effects enough I will go back through every episode and screenshot literally ALL the frames I liked and then arrange the best 40 or so on a grid in my art program so I can color correct them for optimal tracing and art study. And also sometimes Pedro Pascal is in my periphery lookin' cute." - It's one of my favorite shows!!! Small fandom tho.
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