#being the sweetest cinnamon roll in the hive of scum and villainy

[flameswallower]

I'm genuinely very sad that twitter is slowly dying. There just aren't good alternatives for me-- this website and blue sky are the closest, but not only will trying to build a following be pretty exhausting, the culture on both sites is terminally square. Sorry, but it's true! In different ways; still, nevertheless.

The culture on twitter, conversely, was always a toxic waste pit, but in ways I generally found/find it easier to evade or ignore than most people seem to. Some of that is luck; some of it's that I'm white and not a woman or someone who reads to most people as a woman, and I don't get into direct arguments with transphobes, and so I evade the worst harassment brigades.

But I think a lot of it comes down to the same reason I prefer to hang out with overtly "mean" and "scary" people than with "nice" people sometimes. I would rather be in a situation where

1.) I know others can stand up to me and won't take any bullshit if I accidentally make them uncomfortable, overstep boundaries, etc.;

2.) conflict and disagreement will not be perceived as abusive or as The End Of the World, ditto if I have an Oops! It's the Autism/ADHD! moment and respond in a socially inappropriate way because I misunderstood a situation or couldn't control my impulse to say something/laugh at something I found funny;

3.) I need not fear that anybody will clutch their pearls and get on my case for being a little *~**edgy**~*, for existing as a sexual being, for using drugs, for describing things that have happened to me in the past, for writing horror fiction that sometimes deals with extreme or taboo subject matter, for not keeping myself scrupulously PG-rated the way I would around children when I'm with other adults, and/or for inadvertently saying something insensitive/ignorant that I later apologize for;

4.) my contrarianism gets to manifest as being kind and considerate and unusually patient/open/compassionate with people who are being jagoffs or are clearly disturbed or whatever, as opposed to manifesting in argumentative behavior, pushing boundaries, and telling people to go fuck themselves

Basically, I need to find the social media platform or subsection thereof that's equivalent to a group of goths and punks in a condemned building imbibing unwise chemical combinations and giving each other terrible stick-and-pokes of cartoon characters smoking weed or doing tijuana bible shit. One of the punks named himself a slur (it's okay, he can reclaim it). Several of the goths are sex workers. Practically everybody has been to the psych ward, jail, or both. A few people use it/its pronouns specifically as a fuck you to normies. One girl's clothes are filled with rats.