#i don't *have* to go to grad school

[froads]

[the-everqueen]

me [takes your face gently between my hands]: hob gadling would not be a history professor at any number of british universities because of how humanities academia works and even if he were, rose walker would not be his student or advisee.

[as-kind-as-summer]

I finally have a minute to sit down so I'm going to yell about the Lord of the Rings musical for a bit! I'll put everything under a cut so people can avoid spoilers! Pic of me in my cute hobbit-ish outfit first 😊

So disclaimer first, hopefully I'm remembering everything correctly but I recently started a new job and can't take any days off in my first 90 days but desperately wanted to see this show. So I worked a night shift, drove 6 hours, and by the time everything was over I'd been awake for ~21 hours. And also everyone who knows anything about this show is long. Like we were sitting in act 2 and I couldn't remember if they'd sang The Road Goes On in act 1 because it had been two hours ago by that point 😂All this to say, if I misremember please forgive me and feel free to correct me!

My friend and I had the most amazing seats for this show! I'd been debating whether or not I wanted to go through the trouble of going to see it with work and all but then I got an email because apparently I'd signed up for the Shakespeare Theatre's 30 under 30 program and that made everything worth it. I'll post a picture below but we sat second row in the center section on the end of the stage right side. In the picture you can see the stairs literally came down about six inches in front of my feet. I'm not usually a fan of sitting so close but with how immersive the show was it was perfect.

(Obligatory photo with the playbill because I will always be a theatre nerd at heart)

Starting at ~15 til, the actors all started coming out and wandering the audience, just talking to people and having a good ol' time. Again I'm such a sucker for immersive performances and despite being terribly awkward this was still very exciting.

With everyone wandering around and then the show just sort of starting with no big to-do, it really felt like you're a part of the story. Like 'oh I really am here at Bilbo's birthday party.' Again just a really good time, I think it added another really great layer to the show.

I know I just keep saying how fun this show looked but honestly it looks like such a great time and like every single actor on stage is having the best time. The choreography isn't anything terribly complicated but it just looks fun. Also we saw this on a Wednesday at the evening performance which means there would've been a matinee earlier and you never would've been able to tell. I've seen shows where you can tell the actors are going through it during their second show of the day(and rightfully so) but I wouldn't have had a clue if I hadn't known the schedule. Really just such an amazing cast.

The puppetry was phenomenal! I'm not typically freaked out by puppetry but I had a visceral reaction to those Nazgul puppets. Don't know what it was about them but I was legitimately unnerved. One came up next to me and I did not care for it at all. Pretty sure the people behind me were chuckling every time I cringed but like honestly so fair 😂

So I only found out about the existence of this musical in June and it was absolutely my accident. After seeing the trilogy in theaters, I fell back in hard and was just like 'huh I wonder if there's a stage version of this if not there should be' and googled it on a whim. Pretty much been listening to the London soundtrack on repeat since then but there were a lot of songs that I felt very eh about on the soundtrack that are loads better within the context of the show. Like a lot of the Elvish acapella songs being actually just background to the action that happened onstage felt a lot more natural than listening to them on their own.

Speaking of songs I liked more, Lament for Moria was absolutely beautiful. I hate to compare casts because I think every actor brings their own unique take to the role but that was just a song that I wasn't terribly fond of on the London soundtrack. But the actor that played Gimli in this version had an absolutely gorgeous voice. I was telling someone I always assume actors in a show will be able to sing because obviously they've been cast but there are still times where someone opens their mouth and I'm stunned and this was one of them.

I really enjoyed the set design a lot. I love the current trend of having a simple versatile set with smaller pieces that are wheeled on from time to time. Also, such a sucker for turntables and platforms. I don't know what it is but I think it's A+. Also the climbing wall grips in the back so Gollum could climb up and down were fantastic! Such a simple solution but I think it worked so well. I could see them since we were so close but the way they were painted, I'm guessing they blended in really well further back and the effect would've been amazing.

Obviously even at nearly 3 hours long this is still a wildly condensed version of these stories but I was still disappointed that almost all of Two Towers was cut out other than Treebeard. This of course isn't unique to this production, just the way it's written. I don't think it necessarily detracted from the story since most of the action and important bits do take place in Fellowship and Return of the King but Two Towers is still my favorite so this is a personal gripe mostly haha.

The costumes were all great, a lot of it felt sort of generic fantasy-ish but I love generic fantasy-ish costumes so I was happy. However, I thought the orcs costumes were so cool! Especially with the new(? I'll be honest with y'all I have not read the books(yet) and I feel like I heard about this being the ending somewhere. Not sure if they changed it for the movies and the ending of the musical is the actual ending? anyway) ending they were very neat!

I'm also such a sucker for instruments being played onstage especially when it's the actors doing it and especially when a lot of them are playing multiple different instruments. I just will never get over the talent.

I think I've said most of what I wanted to say so I have to talk about Now and For Always. Since my first listen, Now and For Always was my absolute favorite song. Like hyperfixated listening for hours on end kind of favorite song. I just think it's so beautiful, the harmonies are gorgeous, and it really embodies what these stories were about. I saw the snippet Chicago Shakespeare posted before I went and I was iffy about if I'd like it. I could not have been more wrong. The way it was so slowed down, having the rest of the cast standing around Sam and Frodo, the delivery of the last verse from Frodo to a sleeping Sam? I'm tearing up just thinking about it again. Like that's what it's all about, you know? The tenderness and kindness in the midst of horrors. The true power that friendship has to carry you through the absolute worst of things. I don't even have more words, it was just such a beautiful and touching presentation and it's going to stay with me for a very long time.

Oh no wait I did have one more thing to say, they tried to make me like Denethor and no one will ever make me like Denethor! Denethor hater for life, all my homies hate Denethor. I'm sorry, I know they used the explanation of 'he's too close too Mordor it's poisoning his mind' nope don't care. The best thing Denethor did was set himself on fire, change my mind.

All this to say, I had the most amazing time and I am forever grateful I found this production when I did and had the chance to go see it. I don't think it's for everyone, as like 'duh obviously' as it sounds I think you really have to enjoy both LotR and theatre. The people behind us were snickering from time to time because there were some things that were kind of goofy. Most of it was at the weapons, they're definitely on the cheaper side but it's a regional theatre and I'm sure they only had so much budget. You have to be able to suspend your disbelief when seeing any show but especially this one. Forget what you know from the books and the movies and just go in with an open mind. It's a spectacle, it's goofy, it's serious, it will absolutely wrench your heartstrings if you just let yourself be open to it. Everyone is obviously so passionate about what they're doing and it made for such an amazing show, highly recommend to go see it if you get the chance 💜

[nobodysdaydreams]

Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.

[sincaraz]

made another playlist, this time based on this video posted by @jean--valswan of jannik being an angsty boy

[perachel-heretic]

What if I resurrected the perachel tragic romance godhood fic after abandoning it for two years???

[unopenablebox]

my COMMITTEE MEETING is tomorrow and i fly out to my grandfather's funeral LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD and my girlfriend is in GERMANY right now so i have to make sure the whole apartment is fully cleaned & ready to potentially have all the power shut off during a heatwave for a couple of days just in case that happens & also make sure my work samples don't die and all the antibodies i ordered still get in the freezer etc while i'm gone

and because i only learned i was dealing with this yesterday morning when he, you know, died, i absolutely did not budget time for both meeting prep and other work tasks and life stuff AND a deep clean of the fridge & kitchen or whatever it is i should do, and of course i also guessed completely wrong about what my PI would want me to be doing for this talk so i still have a bunch of stupid fiddly little figure adjustments to make each of which takes me an hour due to my like, bad intrinsic nature, and also i am having trouble focusing because my GRANDFATHER IS DEAD, AGAIN, FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR, so i am going to be working on slides for like 28 cumulative hours and yet will have practiced this presentation zero times before giving it. so i hope they don't, you know, form any opinions about me based on it or anything

[measureformeasure]

me i hate academia i hate writing i hate the exploitative nature of grad schools i hate the prohibitive costs 2 minutes later after looking at grad school symposium paper topics me and the bestie

[tennessoui]

ko-fi fic uploads

hey guys, I'm going to start putting some of my new tumblr prompt fills and writing warm-ups (ficlets of 4k-6k length) up on my ko-fi!!

Monthly supporters will be able to go into the gallery tab on my ko-fi and click on an uploaded image. The title will be which tumblr-based au the ficlet fits into and how many words it is. The description beneath the image will be a quick summary of the au and a link to the google doc containing the ficlet. The "root" au post, aka the post that started the au on my blog, will be linked as well on that google doc.

This will not affect my wips and progress on them in any way! I feel like that's very important to state - I write these sorts of ficlets all the time because it helps get me in the writing mindset for writing ao3 fics. I will just be spending a little extra effort on them to put them up on ko-fi.

I will NOT be posting any ficlets on my ko-fi that you need to read to understand a fic on ao3 - that's some disney monster conglomerate kind of shit. I will also still be posting shorter ficlets (1k-3k) on tumblr as I write them, especially if I'm answering a prompt someone sent me here. Again, I think it'd be a bit of dick move to not do that

I'll try to vary which ficlets go up on ko-fi and every time I upload one, I'll make a post about which au it is as well as a link to the page in case anyone wants to, idk, unsubscribe for a month because they hate the hopeless in coruscant au, and then refollow next month because they enjoy the playmaker au etc etc

I'm definitely still trying to figure out what I want this to look like and what feels fair or reasonable, so hopefully this isn't a huge mess on my end!

All this being said:

I've posted the first ficlet/fic on ko-fi: it's for the Senator Menace AU, an au that's basically "What if phantom menace but reversed? how fucked up would anakin get over the youngling his father master died to protect?"

the first au post is here // my ko-fi is here

[fiddleturnips]

Backupsmore University

Okay, so. The following is not very well written and has been heavily edited in my actual draft - the chapter it was in has been broken up and spread between like three different chapters. However, I realized that the context for Why Fiddleford Is Like That is sort of important for my other snippets to make sense.

Content warning for depression, but this section does not contain graphic detail. Further content warning for the American Public School System in the Nineteen-Seventies. (Specifically: the school system's relative inability to absorb non-average children.)

"Ah. Right." Stanford sat back down. The broken mug scraped across the tiles and clattered as Fiddleford swept. "Well, we were in high school. It was close to graduation. We'd been fighting anyway. Big time for me, because it was around the Science Fair-"

"Scholarship season."

"Yes."

"Your family weren't that well off, am I rembering right? I seem to recall you were seeking a full ride and couldn't get it."

"I was going to go to Westmore. If I could afford it, I would have anyway. But Backupsmore was a lot more manageable."

Fiddleford laughed. "Ain't that the truth."

"Wait, you were full ride. And you were, what, seventeen Freshman year? What were you doing there?"

"They weren't that strict on school transcripts," Fiddleford said. "A lot more welcoming of science and engineering portfolios. And I needed full ride, I wasn't getting a dime after a bug came by and wiped out my school stock."

"Your… your what?"

"Oh, you wouldn't have this sort of thing. Some of us livestock breeders, when a kid's young, we'll start to set some animals aside for them. You invest in a couple of pigs, add to the herd when you can, teach the kid to care for 'em, and when it comes time for high school graduation you can get a sturdy few grand even if it's just a small herd, then if you invest it right and keep an eye on the price of pork, you can pay a kid through college with a bit to spare. Only mine all got sick and died out."

"That is fascinating and tragic. You never talked about this."

"Yeah, I never talked to the Yankee kids about the fact that I was going to a bum school because my papa couldn't afford a better one because my pigs died and I didn't have school transcripts 'cause I didn't go to school. How do you think that woulda gone over?"

Stanford did know about Fiddleford's school history. At this moment, he was significantly exaggerating. He had gone to school, and he had excelled at school - for about two thirds as long as any other kid, if you combined all of the months.

Pines and McGucket were close college friends, in a lot of the same classes and clubs, spending study hours together in the tucked-away rooms that let them get as loud and melodramatic as they wanted. At first, Fiddleford had joked that he'd done a lot of special programs for county fairs as a kid. Then, he'd joked that nobody taught him per se as he'd just up and swallowed a library one summer and they all figured that was probably that. Then he'd joked that he was a dropout, and when pressed on that he'd grudgingly admit that no, he was homeschooled.

Then eventually the two boys got close enough and he got tipsy enough for it all to come out. The whole story was that the older he got, the more he skipped grades and got shifted to advanced classes and eventually got stuck in the school's Special Education department because as it was they had no idea what the hell else to do with him, the more he'd get bored and start stealing books from older kids and building things out of school supplies and on one memorable occasion stuck a fork in the electrical outlet - he'd been found with third-degree burns on his hand and a paper beside him calculating the exact voltage available from the wall outlet in comparison to the shock a human being could survive - anyway, the more all of that happened, the earlier in the year his Ma and Pa would have the hard conversation that the trouble he could cause at home was nothing like the trouble he was already causing in the classroom.

By high school, his Ma had sat him down and said: Look. You need an education. Every single word of what they teach you in those there classrooms matters, even the stuff you think is dumb and silly. So you're gonna stay home this year, we're getting permission to let you do experiments in the local tech college's labs for Chemistry and such and the rest you're figuring out on your own. And at the end of the year, you are submitting reports about what you learned to every single teacher in the school, and we'll see if they find fault in your methods.

She'd meant for him to get through Freshman core curriculum. He'd gotten through that most of the electives. The next year, he did the rest of the core curriculum and they rented out some textbooks from the local tech college, plus a special weekly tutoring session with the Language Arts teacher because his critical thinking was a bit underdeveloped and another with the AP Maths guy to whip his self-correction into shape. The year after that, they had a sit-down with a representative of the County and a recruitment man from a university and the principal of the high school he'd dropped out of. He couldn't legally leave the public system until he was at the legal age, but they all agreed that he was doing just fine on his own until then.

He wasn't seventeen when he enrolled at Backupsmore. He was sixteen. And he'd already tested out of Freshman and Sophmore classes, and the only other one there who'd done that was Stanford. The two were friends because up to that point, neither one had ever had a peer.

Stanford Pines was a by-the-book scientist. He'd completed every year of school the way it was intended, on time, and with very high marks. He'd also completed science fair projects and extracurriculars. Once he reached university, he kept a full schedule, his days planned to the minute, with an exercise routine and designated journaling time. His accelerated schooling happened because he did things to the letter, bull-rushed through the political game, took every advantage he could get, and was so damn good at his job that nobody could find a reason to keep him from going at it.

Fiddleford McGucket was a free thinking engineer. He couldn't keep his head on straight enough to follow orders, but he was "such a delight to have in class" and "unfailingly diligent with his homework" and "not afraid to do the hard, boring work that needs doing for a project's success," so he kept getting special treatment anyway.

For Stanford Pines, his combined arrogance with his peers, aggressively growth-minded attitude, relentless self-paced work schedule, and unfailing results put him through twelve doctorates and a self-guided grant program.

For Fiddleford McGucket, the combined inexperience working with others, habit of taking on all the work that was available to him so he could prove he was worthwhile, commitment to doing everything perfectly right the first time no matter how loaded his schedule was, and desperate, desperate need to fit in for once left him plastered to the floor of a bathroom stall trying not to cry out loud while he psyched himself up to get back to the lab every spring and autumn night for a year.

Pines and McGucket had both set astronomical standards for themselves that no normal human could possibly hope to achieve. Difference was, Doctor Stanford Pines had somehow done it.

[torunarigha]

my first and last home game of the season 🥲 but maaaan what a game!! i dragged my dad there as well and he loved it which was great. we could see both kurves because we were sitting in the middle and they did not disappoint (ostkurve was the best im not biased). AMAZING GOALS well tabby penalty maybe less but Maza and that Fabian Reece goal???? will never shut up about it.

at the end the kay bernstein banner made me tear up... i hope we keep his memory alive by keeping this spirit up and good connections between club and fans.

[boyzteeth]

Hello World! Boyzteeth here!!

I am still alive!

I will deny this, but I am in fact a human... And like many humans, I found peace in solitude in isolation. I wove myself into a little cocoon, and found myself tightly wrapped in a shell of my own design. But it was very lonely in there, and much too quiet. In a loud symphony of synthesizers, I am slicing my way out! I am ready to create! I am shedding all the baggage I carry about being an artist (imposter syndrome, etc etc) and stepping out into a brave new world!

So, uh, what does that mean?

I'm gonna be making some efforts to re-organize my online presence. Maybe I'll make an instagram. I'm putting every song I've released on bandcamp onto my soundcloud, including some shiney new tracks. My goal is to start doing live shows in my home city! I'm working on connecting with other creative minds, and mutually powering up with other Queer creatives irl. This tumblr will still exist, and might even get a fancy new look.

I've never been good at this whole "internet presence" thing. If you are a fan of my work, congrats, because you are truly one of the coolest people on the internet! And you have probably have gone down an internet rabbithole finding my work. Hopefully, this new approach of mine will make it easier.

Knowing that people out there have heard my crazy creations blows my mind every day! Knowing that you have put my soundwaves thru ur speakers and into ur brainwaves fills my soul with rainbow colored energy!!! From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Since becoming Boyzteeth, I have moved cities more than once, got a uni degree (and about to start another!), changed pronouns many times, made and lost friends, screamed and cried and laughed and created. Through my own musical exploration, I have uncovered more of my inner world than I ever though possible. I don't know what the future holds, but I want you to know that even if I've been quiet, I've still got more music in my brain than I know what to do with. Creating is a part of who I am, and I can never stay gone for long. My 5 year plan IRL involves starting a career in healthcare, finding more weirdos like me, and continuing to create.

PLUR,

Boyzteeth <3

[emilyjunk]

when will you update gsu? 😔🫶

I appreciate your continued investment but like a lover going off to battle with an uncertain outcome, I leave you with this message: I'm not saying it will never happen but I urge you not to wait for me. Live your life to the fullest and when I return if you have not been snatched up by a new interest which deserves your love and loyalty more than I, then perhaps we might have a future together yet

[allyouzombies]

my sister, my parents, my friends tell me I was cheated, having to do all but my first semester of grad school during covid, and that I graduated supposedly more employable into the clusterfuck of may 2021. usually I feel resigned to it at much as anyone else does to the first few years of the pandemic. it sucked and everyone was numb.

but sometimes, like when I see happy pictures of friends and family who got their masters and phds pre-pandemic, carrying diploma covers and in the ugly robes with their most loved surrounding them in celebration, I do feel pretty fucking bitter. it does make me feel cheated that my sister and I were first generation college students, graduate students, and my sister an entire fucking doctor of her field, and we didn't get to have our families or anyone celebrate at our schools. nobody traveled out to Iowa because I told them not to, and I didn't go to my own graduation when that kind of ritual means a lot to me, and I didn't buy or rent robes or a cap or a tassel, and I didn't walk anywhere or commemorate the day. what I did was post to my instagram story once I submitted my final project, and I bought a departmental cardigan, and as a member of the LIS student org exec board, I drove all over the county delivering cardigans to others. my family and friends and J were still proud, and I was happy with myself, but yes! yes I did get cheated!

[gentlethorns]

lol i got decisions back from all four of my grad school apps and none of them were acceptances. i got waitlisted by one and outright denied by the other three. fuck man

[wwillywonka]

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