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chelseeebe · 5 months ago

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jinx

18+ mdni. no smut but eddie is a grade a asshole to poor reader. mentions of weed and alcohol throughout. eddie munson x fem reader.

a/n: first off, anon i am sooo sooooo sorry it has taken me this long to fulfill your request!! i absolutely loved this request and am absolutely honoured that you came to me for it<33 i hope i've done it justice and that you still care to read this:') side note, i've updated my masterlist as i have slacked a bit but everything should be on there now ^.^

love me some chelseeebe angst—imagine fuckboy!eddie plays at the hideout right like regularly. reader starts frequenting his show days bc she likes him obviously but he starts noticing something. every time she comes in, something goes wrong. either he messes up a chord or cant see to flirt properly therefore no one ends up warming his bed as of late or something of the sort

his immediate first thought is ‘she’s a jinx!!!’ bc what other explanation could there be in his boy brain??? so he asks her to stop coming in. she does and yet he continues to mess up bc all he can think abt is her.

itd be so sexy if u added a moment of realization/angry love confession where in the middle of him being like you’ve bewitched me or something!!! he realizes hes the one obsessed with her.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

the party hums on in the background, a small group gathered outside to rob eddie blind, smoking away his entire supply.

robin giggles nonsensically into steve’s shoulder, too high for her own good.

“if you’re gonna smoke all my shit, the least you can do is come watch us tomorrow,” eddie had been nagging his friends to come down the hideout for months. they’d gathered a solid crowd now, not much but it was a start.

robin groans, nancy and jonathan shift in their seats, steve can barely muster enough energy to reply and argyle snores. hardly enthusiastic about his dreams.

“i’ll come,” you offer, bright-eyed as you smile politely at him from the floor.

a friend of a friend, someone robin met in class and had dutifully introduced to the group. he didn’t know you well, nor had he ever really cared to.

“i don’t think you’d like it, sweetheart” eddie retorts, flattered that you’d try and spare his feelings but he didn’t need your pity.

“why? you can’t be that bad,” chuckling quietly to yourself.

his eyes narrow, scoffing, “we’re not,” misunderstanding, or maybe just not caring to humour you back, “come if you want,” he shrugs nonchalantly, not as if any of his friends had offered to attend.

“okay,” nodding along, “i will.”

“alright,” turning his attention back to the embering joint glued to argyles fingers.

who cares if you come? eddie certainly doesn’t.

sure enough, the same couple dozen old drunks fill the bar, their glossy, zombie-like eyes stare back at him from the floor. he’d complain but beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

they’re partway through the second song when something reflects in his eye, a low-cut sequinned top that would definitely look better on the floor of his van.

it’s only when his eyes travel up that he realises it’s you who’s wearing that shirt, already looking straight back at him. a newfound look about you, thick lines of black line your eyes, worlds apart from the mousy girl who’d invited herself last night.

“and we’re-,” he sings, an abrupt case of dry mouth as the next line struggles to come out, “we’re.. uh,” the entire song erased from his memory within seconds.

he steps back from the mic, blinking rapidly in an attempt to trigger his voice though all he can see is you and that ridiculous top.

gareth’s head whips round, still strumming along before picking up eddie’s slack, continuing the lyrics on his own, not without a damning glare in eddie’s direction.

holy fuck.

he’s just, taken aback, that’s all. shocked that you’d even bother to come, less so put the effort in to actually look the part too.

his eyes don’t leave the back wall for the rest of the gig, practically stumbling through all of the songs as his head threatens to wander. trailing back to you only as they finish, walking off stage to down the harshest whisky the bar would allow.

you saunter over a couple minutes later, while eddie tries his hardest not to stare right down your shirt. he’s not certain that he won’t choke on his words if you speak to him.

“you were really good tonight,” you assure, smiling softly as his band mate turns to gawp.

“uh, yeah.. thanks,” eddie fumbles, gripping the neck of his beer bottle, “thanks for coming.”

there’s an aura surrounding you, like a wretched spell you’d evoked in him, turning him to a bumbling fool.

“i’m gonna head out..” gesturing to the door, “see you around,” waving your fingers coyly at him before disappearing.

his eyes linger at the door, wondering if maybe you’ll turn around and come back. not that he wants that. just curious as to why you’d come out just to see him play.

“now who the hell was that?” jeff ogles, receiving a swift elbow to the ribs from eddie and a loud oof as he clutches his side.

“a friend of a friend,” brushing him off, “don’t be weird about it,” jumping the gun to squash any sorts of ideas festering in his mind.

“you’re the only one being weird about it,” jeff retorts, grabbing his beer and shuffling off.

“i’m not being weird,” eddie calls from behind, “i’m not!”

okay maybe he was being a little weird.

who cares?

definitely not eddie.

this week, he feels more prepared to see you nodding along in the crowd, robin had joined you albeit looking less than impressed.

eddie’s killing it, at least he thinks. avoiding looking anywhere in your direction, keeping his gaze on the stumbling drunk at the back instead.

but the thoughts of you can’t help but creep into his mind, were you enjoying it? do you think he’s bad? why does he even care so much?

his hand slides down the neck of the guitar, playing the wrong chord entirely, his fingers curating a mind of their own.

fuck fuck fuck.

why does this keep happening?

gareth glares at him again, he had never been so frustrated with his idiot bandmate in his life. sure eddie liked to dick around in rehearsal but never on stage.

if eddie ever wanted a career in music, he needed to get a monumental grip on himself. weird girls he barely knew should not have the capacity to ruin his career.

after they clamber off stage, eddie makes a point of not going over to the two of you. no, you can come to him.

though he wishes you’d just be a little faster at it if he’s honest. too busy squished into a booth with one of the younger regulars to care about him.

heat rises in his chest, searing his cheeks a bright rouge, “-who is that?” gareth interrupts, bumping into his arm.

“who’s who?” eddie coughs, clearing his throat as his eyes snap back.

“that girl you’ve been staring at,” peering across the room to get a glimpse.

“i’m not staring at anyone,” abruptly turning his head in the opposite direction, proving to himself that he wasn’t staring, not really.

“you’re a liar,” gareth calls him on his bullshit immediately, “go talk to her! she’s hot,” scooting his friend along.

“no she’s not,” you looked good tonight, he’d give you that, “can everyone please just stop being weird about this? first jeff- now you? honestly, i don’t get it,” working himself into a frenzy over what really was nothing.

gareth’s eyes widen, scoffing at his melodramatic performance, “alright man.. calm down,” shaking his head in mild disgust.

eddie was totally calm, you know, apart from his heart pounding in his chest.

nothing major.

filthy, downright pornographic sounds fill his cramped van, certain that it was rocking side to side with the utter obscenity happening in the back.

chloe sits atop of his lap, tongues dancing around one another as she glides her hips back and forth. she was a regular, slightly older than eddie, at least he thinks, they’d made eyes a few times but only tonight had he gathered the courage to go and speak to her.

any other time, eddie would be rock solid, pinning her down and fucking her into the dusty floor. today, it’s just not happening.

his mind elsewhere, too preoccupied with nonsense to appreciate the opportunity at hand.

he's thinking about you and the fact you’d left the bar without ever coming over to him tonight. what the fuck was that about?

had he done something wrong?

he breaks apart from her mouth, heaving into the tiny gap between them, “i don’t know what’s going on..” he chuckles awkwardly, looking down at his useless dick, “normally something happens by now..”

she frowns, deep-set, showing her age more than before, “oh.”

he reaches down, furiously palming his cock through his jeans.

nothing. not even a twitch.

he wants to curl up and die. never in his three years of actually getting laid has this ever happened. eddie got hard at the drop of a pin, he’d only have to think about boobs and his jeans would shift.

so why the fuck wasn’t it working tonight?

“i’m gonna go,” chloe scowls, clambering over his legs, gathering her bag while not even attempting to hide her disappointment.

eddie shoots up, pathetically crawling after her, desperate not to let her go.

“it’s not me!” he screams out, watching helplessly as she crawls out of the van, “it’s you!”

no.

“wait no! shit, that’s not what i meant,” peeking out of the van to find the empty parking lot, zero women to be found, “fuck sake.”

left to wallow in his self-pity, alone, in the back of his dirty van.

just as he deserved.

if this was some karmic intervention, telling him to be a better person, he certainly wasn’t paying it any attention.

another party meant another night of eddie trying to understand why the hell you had such an effect on him.

it’s not even like you’re doing anything particularly riveting, sat with your drink in hand, nodding along to robin’s story.

he can’t stand it.

you have to go.

maybe not like that, but he had to put some distance between you. there’s no way he could keep his sanity while you were still a constant in his life.

eddie sidles over, feeling like the smartest guy in the room. he could do this, separate himself from you and your clutches and go back to playing as he once did.

you smile upon him appearing, sickly and sweet. it makes his heart thump in the weirdest way.

“oh.. hey,” playing this entirely nonchalantly, “i just thought i’d let you know that we’re not playing next week,” lying through his teeth, guilt ridden but really, it was necessary if he wanted to play a gig without fucking up the entire time.

“oh,” sounding somewhat disappointed, “okay.. how come?”

shit.

he can’t think of a single valid reason as to why they wouldn’t be playing.

“jeff’s sick.. real bad,” feeling even more guilty for lying about his friends health, wondering if he’s cursing jeff as you did him, “might even be a couple weeks off at this point.”

eddie was a terrible person.

but so were you.

bewitching him under some spell, forcing him to play terribly and embarrass himself in front of women

you’ve jinxed him. a bad omen cursing him to play like a fucking amateur. that’s the only logical explanation his pea brain can conjure up anyway.

that meant you had to stay away from the shows, from him preferably.

he couldn’t understand why you have this effect on him, why your mere presence has him becoming a floundering fool. you don’t intimidate him, not even close.

it’s almost as if he cares too much about what you think, to the extent that he overthinks it so hard that he fucks up.

a curse that could only be broken with some distance between you. that way he could focus on the show instead of you and your doe eyes reflecting off of the stage lights.

that’s what he’s praying for anyway.

eddie despises wednesday’s. itching to get his classes over and done with so he can get his small taste of stardom on that tiny hideout stage.

at some point over the last few weeks of you being an omnipotent presence in his life, he’d grown accustomed to crossing paths with you before the gig.

crossing campus with your chin tucked down, arms wrapped tight around your books. typically only sharing a smile or a short nod.

but this week you saunter over, resembling a frightened deer even more than usual.

he pulls his headphone from his ear, anticipating whatever nonsensical, vaguely cute thing you were going to say.

“hey,” he nods, a coy smile.

even now you have his palms sweating, overthinking whether he should’ve said hi or hello instead.

“you didn’t have to lie to me,” you start, brows furrowed, “it’s fine if you don’t want me to go to your gigs anymore, i don’t care,” a disappointed frown plaguing your normally cheerful face. “i thought i liked you eddie, really- but i don’t know anymore.. you’re not a good person.”

you turn to walk off before he can even compute your words.

oh shit.

“wait!” he calls but it’s useless, “i didn’t- i wasn’t- fuck.”

it was unthinkably cruel, he didn’t think you’d ever find out. and maybe that was his problem, assuming you didn’t care enough to find out.

guilt addles his chest, weighing heavy on his heart. for good reason too.

eddie was an asshole. a true, grade-a asshole that wayne would positively despise him for.

wait wait wait.

you liked him?

absolutely not. no way. that wasn’t what this was about.

or it’s not supposed to be.

no, this was some adolescent feud, a confusing, one-sided, friendship that he couldn’t get a grip on.

you didn’t like him. girls like you weren’t supposed to.

it’s not at all surprising that he plays like absolute shit tonight too.

guilt ridden for forcing your hand, for making you look at him like that. as if he were the worst person to walk the earth.

shit, maybe he was.

kind hearted people didn’t lie and deceive. no, kind hearted people came to gigs they obviously didn’t give a shit about. kind hearted people feigned interest in boring spiel about weed strains and whatever the fuck else eddie jabbered on about at parties.

you, you were kind. kinder than he deserved.

gareth slaps him harshly on the back the second they’re back behind the curtain, a scornful yet pitying scowl on his face, “look man,” he begins, “i dunno what’s going on with you but i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna let us play here if you keep playing like that.”

eddie sighs, because he knows this. he’s well aware that his performances have been lacklustre for weeks now. he just doesn’t really understand why.

at first he thought it was just because you were there, a distance friend who would feed back to his friends about how good, or bad, he was.

but that wasn’t it.

you were there, and then you weren’t. and he still played like shit.

somewhere entangled deep within his wretched heart, he thinks that maybe he just wanted to impress you.

a nice girl, cares about her studies way more than he does, pretty too and you didn’t look at him like he was just some out of touch stoner with crazy dreams of his band getting big.

you were polite, listening to his wacky stories and dreams of playing for thousands, in fact, you encouraged them, more than his friends ever had for sure.

eddie’s not sure if, or how, he’ll ever be able to make amends for how he’s treated you.

he’s making himself sick with worry. guilt wracking his brain.

you don’t turn up that night, obviously.

eddie’s eyes mindlessly search the crowd for any hint of you. his fingers failing to correspond with the rest of band, always playing a beat behind.

you had infected him, ruined his once masterful skill to just a shell of what it once was.

he doesn’t lay opportunity for the boys to speak to him again, rushing out of the bar as soon as his guitar is back in her case.

there’s only one place he can think about going.

a few months back, you’d hosted robin’s birthday party there and eddie had disgraced your bathroom with a girl he can’t even remember now.

his fist bangs on the door, hoping the light in the upstairs window was you and not one of your roommates he’d have to shamefully apologise to.

the orange light cascades over your face, peeking out from the barely cracked door with a frown that would scare any man off.

“what’re you doing?” you spit, looking backwards in hopes he hadn’t woken the entire house up.

“listen,” he sighs, “i’m real sorry about.. you know, lying to you,” his shoulders slumped over themselves, “but i just- i can’t fucking play when you’re there, can’t play when you’re not,” sounding utterly pathetic, begging for you to cure him from this sudden sickness. “i don’t know what to do anymore,” dragging his hand over his face.

rightfully earning his spot as the worlds biggest fucking loser, stood on your doorstep begging for an answer.

when he opens his eyes enough to look at you, you’re scowling back at him. nothing like how he had planned this situation in his head.

he’d hoped that miraculously you’d understand, accept his apology and somehow still feel the same as you had.

because that was it, really.

too terrified to face the fact that he liked you too.

somewhere in his heart of hearts he’d known it from the start. that’s why his heart fluttered when you’d volunteered to come or why he’d struggled to even touch anyone else.

“what do you want me to say?” shrugging, “i won’t come back, that’s fine,” he wishes you’d just follow the script he’d curated for you.

eddie doesn’t want you to stop coming, he never had. it’s killing him that you even believed that, twisting the knife in his chest further and further the more your bottom lip juts out and your eyes water.

“actually, maybe it’s best if we don’t talk anymore,” you suggest, throwing him completely off kilter.

woah.

that wasn’t at all what he wanted nor was he trying to say. he just couldn’t gather the actual words he needed to express that to you.

petrified that he’d admit to his feelings and you’d just turn around and laugh, how could someone like you ever like such a cruel man?

“wait no, that’s not what i meant-,” bargaining with you for a little time to explain himself, though you definitely didn’t owe him any.

“-thanks for coming eddie, i’ll see you around,” flashing him a crestfallen smile before abruptly closing the door in his face.

public humiliation was truly the only way eddie could think to make it up to you.

well that and maybe a little big nudge from robin.

he’d rather stupidly asked about you on saturday night, confused why you weren’t there alongside robin, who had very quickly got him in check.

“why do you think dumbass?” she snapped, snarling her teeth at him, “you were an asshole and now she’s doesn’t want to come anymore,” her glare powerful and harsh, "i'd say you were lucky she didn't punch you in the face."

he’d deserve it.

it had taken weeks of convincing to get you anywhere near the hideout again. not to mention the hundreds in free weed he’d had to bribe robin with to get her to help.

you stand in a dark corner, hands folded against your chest, puzzled and irritated by robin’s incessant begging to get you here.

“there’s someone here that i wanna apologise to,” his eyes don’t find you as easy this time, after weeks of missing your presence, he’s not used to you actually being in the crowd again, “if you know us, you know i can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, uh..” they find you, the lump only growing in his throat, “i’m sorry,” tunnel vision blocking out every other body in the room, “i’m really, really sorry.”

you blink, staring back at him like a deer caught in headlights. it makes him a little bit nauseous to recall how dreadfully he’d treated you, how you deserved absolutely none of it.

your gaze lowers, and eddie can’t decide how to take it. he wouldn’t blame you if you decided to never forgive him, but he also couldn’t take it if you didn’t.

his voice cracks a little as he speaks, “this is.. uh, we’re corroded coffin,” stepping back from the mic to gather his thoughts before the drum comes crashing in.

eddie plays the best he’s potentially ever played.

a force overcoming him to prove that he truly wasn’t as much as a loser as he’s shown himself to be.

usually, he couldn’t wait to be off that stage and to the bar but today he’s dreading it.

knowing that you’re somewhere out there waiting for an explanation.

or maybe you weren’t. he wouldn’t blame you if you’d decided to leave soon after he’d embarrassed himself with that shitty apology.

gareth runs up behind him, using his shoulders to launch himself into the air, “holy shit! that was amazing!” the boy presses a slobbery kiss to his cheek before continuing, “whatever the hell you did, keep doing it because that was insane!” running off past eddie to grab his weekly complimentary beer.

a sudden sickness fills his stomach, slyly hoping that he could slip out of here before anyone else noticed him.

you stand across the bar, waiting to catch his eye with your lips curled only ever-so-slightly.

eddie’s limbs go stiff, still entranced by your jinx. by you.

your eyes trail away to the door as his follow, shuffling your way through the bustling crowd.

his legs carry him without a second thought, out into the cool night as his eyes frantically search for you.

he finds you perched against the crumbling stone wall a few feet from the entrance, just far enough away from the prying eyes of the smoking patrons.

“i didn’t think you’d ever come back here,” is all he can say, feet trailing along the gravel.

the streetlight glistens orange from your eyes, staring up at him from your perch, “i didn’t want to,” your smile only growing as he nears, “robin made me.”

“oh,” it wasn’t as if he didn’t know that or that he didn’t orchestrated the entire thing, it just felt odd to hear it from your mouth.

“i’m glad i came,” you clarify, allowing him to finally release the breath held tight in his chest.

eddie dares to move closer, sitting back on the brick just inches away, “yeah?”

you nod, the great big smile he’d forced away making a return at last, “yeah.”

suddenly the air feels thick, it was easier apologising on stage, those people didn’t know him, they didn’t care. but now, sat here in front of you, it feels like he’s swallowing knives.

“i’m really sorry for making you feel that way,” though it sounds meaningless now the damage was done, “i don’t know if you still care about me at all, but i- um,” his throat runs dry, clamping his eyes shut. it felt easier that way, somehow, “i think the reason why i was such.. an asshole,” the light flickers through his eyelids again, deciding that you at least deserved to see him, “fuck,” he exclaims, staring back at your confused expression.

“it’s okay,” soothing even now, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” a twinge of sadness running through your tone.

“no, no i do,” eddie persists. he’d fumbled once, he couldn’t do it again. “shit man,” he sighs, “i’m trying to tell you that i like you too, or maybe not too, i know i was an ass and i don’t deserve your forgiveness-,” your lips cuts him off mid-mumble, surging forward to press them against his blathering ones.

he has to blink a couple times, taking in whatever the fuck was happening to him.

you pull back, disappointed that his brain had been to fuzzy to focus on kissing you back. too preoccupied with trying not to explode and paint you in red.

“really eddie.. it’s okay,” returning to your usual reserved self while his brain still struggles to compute.

“can we do that again?” he asks politely, keeping the bubbling excitement to a minimum.

you laugh, a real, throaty laugh, something he hadn’t heard in weeks, “only if you promise to stop talking,” leaning in once more, the rigid wall suddenly feeling like it was about to collapse from underneath him.

your soft, cherry-tinted lips press against his forehead a second time, allowing him to gather his brain from a pile of mush on the floor just enough to actually kiss you back. a tender hand reaching out to caress his stubbly cheek, sending shockwaves through his limbs.

you’re interrupted again by a loud whoop from behind, robin clapping wildly as she emerges from the bar, “now you two have kissed and made up, can we go home now?”

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #request #eddie munson x female reader

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haaam-guuuurl · 6 months ago

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So true. People were way too hard on Rory, and what I always took from it was also "well I guess no one here's ever had gifted kid trauma" bc let me tell you if I was an overachiever my whole life, got to college, worked so hard to the point of burnout, got so close to achieving my dreams, and then the person at the top of that field told me I would never succeed in it no matter how hard I tried, how hard I'd been trying? Damn, I would've quit school entirely, not just taken one semester off...

I think the judgment comes from mostly people thinking she had it easy and was giving up all her chances for no reason, which I mean I sort of get, from the pov of people who never got to go to college for financial or other reasons, or people who don't have family to fall back to, but you can't look at these things in a vacuum. Rory was clearly going through a lot, and had a lot of trauma, not just from Mitchum, but from a lifetime of being told she was a mistake and of thinking she never truly deserved what she got, that she never fit in within those opportunities, like Chilton, or Yale, or her grandparents' world in general.

How come people never come down on Lorelai for running away from her parents, who were totally willing to take her in and her daughter, and making herself and Rory grow up with scraps when she could've guaranteed her daughter grew up safe and without any financial troubles? Sure, with her, we understand that she has incredible trauma from growing up with her distant, judgemental and stifling parents, but you could totally say the same about her that people say about Rory. She had every opportunity and just ran away from it. And endangered not only herself but her baby too! I'm not saying people should judge Lorelai, but that people shouldn't judge Rory either.

Idk, maybe because instead of venting about it, Rory's drug of choice has been repression for the longest time, so her internal issues and pressure and justification weren't spoonfed to the audience, and ppl weren't able to grasp it I guess 🤷‍♀️

Is the Gilmore Girls fandom full of nerdy overachievers? Because why else would Rory dropping out of Yale for one (1) semester be such a big deal? 5 years ago when I watched as an inexperienced high schooler I also thought that she was making a bad decision but now I see that people graduate late literally all the time, for various dumb reasons and it doesn't affect their future career at all. And Rory didn't even graduate late, she literally took a whole semester off and yet managed to still graduate on time! In one of the greatest universities in the world! So why does Rory get so much slander for this, both within and outside of the show? Everyone acted as if Rory was throwing her life away by working one semester instead of studying. When Logan, Colin and Finn literally also took semesters off, but unlike Rory used them to slack off, acted like forever students and actually graduated late, yet they are lovable? Make it make sense!

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #i'm really glad today's fandom seems to appreciate rory a lot more #a lot of fanfic i've read includes analysis like this #of all the pressure she puts on herself and how she's internalized the whole mistake thing #prob bc at the time it was mostly adults that could only see it from lorelai's perspective #but now the kids who see it from rory's have grown up #i'll admit that what also contributed a lot to my perspective is having a kind of similar or at least comparable college experience #going from having straight as in high school to floundering in college and wondering if you'll ever make it work?#i didn't drop out but i did think about it a lot and did get a year behind #there's a lot of psychological stuff there too of being a gifted kid for a lot of your younger years #it can stunt your development once the others catch up and suddenly you don't know how to adjust when it's all been so easy before #your brain doesn't know how to struggle to it just short-circuits #i also think audiences at the time didn't have stuff like burnout and gifted kid trauma in the cultural consciousness like we do now #holy shit sorry for the rant but i feel very strongly about this (apparently) 😂#as for why the characters in the show had such strong reactions? well it's a drama show 😅#it's also why luke didn't talk to lorelai about april or why lorelai never had an ounce of understanding towards jess and his trauma #conflict is more tv-worthy 🙄#even when the things actually happening should/would never have been handled like that in reality

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pupyuj · 1 year ago

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[cw: dubcon, exhibitionism methinks?, fingering, degradation, humiliation]

well hello! i’ve been gone a while, yes but FEAR NOT you will never get rid of me (unfortunately) 😈😈 have a mean girl wony (completely different from “magic words” wony btw!) drabble for an appetizer tee hee 😋

campus princess wony who never fucking batted an eyelash towards her suitors, even the decent ones, but could never get over how you of all things never once looked at her the way everybody does?? every time you walked past her in the hallways without sparing her ass a glance, she was seething 😭😭 but she would never—and i mean never—go out of her way to make you notice her, nope! she was going to make you obsessed with her in the most organic-but-a-bit-flawed way possible! and her best friend’s small slumber party was the best opportunity to do all that 😈

being invited by mutual friends, you showed up in the most loser fit ever that wony almost wondered why the fuck she was so interested until she watched the way you scrunched your nose to raise your glasses—so fucking cute, wony was actually mad that you gave her butterflies 😭 but even in a small group, you still refused to acknowledge her! it was unbelievable; usually people would kill to be in your place, to be that close physically with her but noooo, apparently you were some hotter shit 😒😒

wony has had the luxury of watching you this entire night… you were so cool and laid-back, you got along with everyone pretty well (except wonyoung), but you were somewhat reserved… you intrigued wonyoung, but she had to save the pleasantries and introductions later bcs holy fuck she needed to hear that pretty voice of yours whimper and moan for her 😳😳 eventually she didn’t care that you were completely ignoring her bcs all she wanted at this point was to fuck you senseless,, that oughta get your attention…

wony following you into one of the bedrooms to get some extra pillows and blankets,, saying that she was there to help until she grabbed you and pressed your up against the door,,

“what the hell are you doing?!”

“do me a favor and shut up.”

her putting one of your wrists behind your waist and pinning the other to the door as she grinds against your ass, nose up in your hair and then leaving soft kisses down the side of your neck… “w-wonyoung, what the fuck?! let me go! a-ah.. don’t…” squirming and resisting as much as you could but ofc crumbling down the moment wony’s kisses get stronger, sloppier, hungrier… completely being at her mercy eventually, moaning at every kiss she leaves on her skin as she always thought you should be… “mhm, all wet..” she whispers in your ear while she felt up your pussy through your soaked panties :((

“a-aahn..! sto—wait, they’ll hear us…”

“good. i want them to.”

holding onto wony’s wrist while she rubbed your clit harshly,, biting down on your lip but it wasn’t enough with the added pleasure of wonyoung’s breath in your ear 😣 “should’ve known this is what it would take for you to look at me… i would’ve fucked you earlier, unnie.” 🫠 her letting out a moan when she slipped two fingers inside you?? relishing in the feeling of your warmth and how tight you were,, you weren’t a virgin by any means but it still caught you off guard… having to clamp your hand around your mouth to muffle your moans,, but wony was quick to swat your hand away,, “bad unnie.” she said through gritted teeth 😵‍💫😵‍💫

the very obvious dilemma you were having with yourself was enjoyable to witness for wonyoung.. how you actively tried to resist her by your breathy “no”s and “stop”s, but would grind back against her and moan so loudly whenever her fingers hit your sweet spots 🫣 but when she notices that you were stopping yourself from cumming.. oh she got mad 😵‍💫 “still keeping the act, huh? fine then.” and she just starts fucking you harder from behind 🫠🫠 she was relentless—pumping her fingers in and out of your cunt and snapping her wrist when she hits that spot just to drive you insane, slapping your ass until it was red, leaving scratch marks on your waist... it was all very effective bcs she had you screaming immediately 😳

her ripping your pajama top off without a single care in the world,, “don’t give me that look, unnie. i’ll buy you a new one.” she jokes but not really—she can buy you a whole mall and you wouldn’t even have to ask! 🫣🫣 wony taking note of the way the sweetest, sluttiest sounds escaping your lips once her hand reaches your chest… once again being so turned on that she moans herself,, “you’re so shameless now… you love this, don’t you? you want our friends to know what exactly is being done to you, unnie, hm?” wony pinching your nipple to force you to moan loudly :(( even giggling a bit bcs she just found this so fun??

really, really talks you through when you’re close and cumming 😵‍💫😵‍💫 all up in your ear while she does all the right things to your body… bite marks and hickeys on your shoulder bcs she couldn’t resist.. holds your hips still with her free hand while she fucked you in that same merciless pace, only a lot more harder bcs wony absolutely needed to see you all broken up for her 🫢

“come on, unnie… you’ll cum for me, won’t you?”

“yes, yes…! show them, let them hear you, unnie…”

“fuck, good girl…”

omgjdhchjs she nearly came with you with how horny she was watching you fall apart on her hand… the sight of your juices dripping down your legs and pooling at your feet made wony want to fuck you right there all over again but she had to suffice with licking your cum off her fingers for now 🤭 but wony barely letting you come back to your senses when she just leaves you in that room with nothing but a side glance bcs she’s just that bitchy??? leaving you to clean up your own mess, grab a spare shirt from your friend’s closet, and forcing yourself to show your face to everybody after all of that… dare wony say that your red eyes and flushed cheeks were more of a turn on that literally feeling your pussy clench around her fingers!!

but even if wonyoung treated you like filth.. she was still too pretty… so pretty that you don’t bother to do any resisting when she sneaks into your futon super late in the night, ready to make you see the stars all over again 🫣

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modawg · 8 months ago

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it has always been so cute to me that even tho a war has just happened half of camp is destroyed or dead that the campers still thought it would be fun to bully percabeth

like did we ever learn why all of camp was just there when annabeth and percy kissed ??

like did annabeth recrute ppl to help ??

like maybe annabeth got malcom to help with the cupcake and he started the wildfire that was “annabeth and percy are sitting really close ALONE together for his birthday” so everyone went to eavesdrop or smth

or actually tyson definitely did that by accident now that i’m thinking abt it like he just told ppl who asked and everyone was like “thanks for letting me know >:)”

i always kinda thought maybe clarisse knew it was percy’s birthday and was planning on being a menace but when they pulled up annabeth was already there then the kiss happened and everyone was like “holy SHITTTTT”

like maybe the plan was to dunk percy in the water but they couldn’t find annabeth so they showed up late just to witness the kiss some kids probably cried a little but clarisse was like “sick now i can dunk BOTH of them” so that’s what they did

to me i always loved that clarisse was the one to be the head of that bc throwing them into the water to celebrate wasn’t for her - personally i don’t think clarisse could give two real shits abt percabeth actually dating or not (not that she doesn’t think they should- it’s just not her buisness) but yk who did ?? selina

there were probably long talks where all selina talked abt was the percabeth tea

“i have insanely hot gossip right now. >:)”

“ooo really?? >:)”

“yeah and it involves your two favorite people >:3”

“oh…really…… :|”

i like to think that was for her and i love that

#pjo #hoo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #hoo fandom #pjo fandom #hoo text post #pjo text post #hoo/pjo #percy and annabeth #percabeth #annabeth chase and percy jackson #annabeth pjo #annabeth chase #clarisse la rue #clarrise pjo #selina beauregard #clarisse and selina

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joonberriess · 1 year ago

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𓆩♡𓆪 “you don’t have to admit you wanna play, just let me rock you till the break of day,” – jock!jk

·˚ ༘ 💌 TAGS — simping at its finest, blowjobs, cum-swallowing, degradation, dumbification, jk is mean but also a praise fanatic, oc is a cute puppy who eats it all up, objectification(?) pretty sure bc jk just has unholy thoughts about oc, oc is THEE it girl, dirty talking, messy lil make-outs, thank you kiss on the tip LOL, PET NAME GALORE, oc is a nice lil bimbo everyone loves ❤️ even jk’s friends luv her

Jungkook listened to whatever the hell Jennie was explaining to him, in truth he stopped paying attention like five minutes ago. He sat there like a fried vegetable just zoning out and nodding mindlessly whenever Jennie looked at him and asked if he agreed etc. He didn’t want to be rude to Jennie but any more of this and he’d go insane he fears.

“So for the powerpoint I was thinking we should..” Jennie’s voice slowly fades out as the sound of the front door opening catches Jungkook’s eye/attention. Holy shit he doesn’t believe what he’s witnessing. He doesn’t realize he’s staring hardcore at Jennie’s poor unsuspecting roommate.

He instantly recognizes you as the girl he sees his team/friends go crazy over. You were quite the talk of the campus—cute, slutty, bimbo-like, these were some of the most common things said. If Jungkook had to admit, you were pretty cute and he’s only ever really seen you casually here and there. He finds himself licking his lips slowly and sitting up while clearing his throat.

“Hi Jennie, hi Jennie’s friend.” You sweetly say while waving at Jungkook politely. He gets an eyeful of tits and soft tummy as you pass by.

You’re wearing this soft pink tracksuit and white baby tee crop top which hugs your pretty little tits just nicely. Don’t even get him started about your backside which is enough in itself to bring a tear to his eye. Jungkook doesn’t realize he’s overdoing it with his staring until Jennie clears her throat pretty loudly.

“Ahem.” She glares at him, “As I was saying,” she shoves her laptop in Jungkook’s face.

He doesn’t see more of you because you end up heading down the hall to your room after saying “bye-bye” to both him and Jennie. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He grunts in annoyance.

“Not my roommate Jeon, you can go about fucking anything that fucking walks and has a hole between their legs but you leave y/n out of your lechery. Got it?” She hisses, “I can see the gears working in that stupid head of yours, so I’m warning you. Now help me with this powerpoint asshole, I’m not doing all the work.”

Jungkook internally groans—overprotective roommate, greaaat.

Whole time he works on the project his mind is filled with obscene thoughts and nasty little daydreams he comes up with just thinking about you. Jungkook’s had his fair share of hook-ups but none have ever truly made him go this crazy before. He’s fucking FIENDING for it, would be on his damn knees begging for you to crush his head with your soft thighs if he could.

Too bad Jennie said you were off-limits though. Unless..

Much to Jungkook’s dismay he doesn’t see you for the remainder of the time he’s there. He does see you more often around campus though, whether it’s you hopping out of your very pink car or you running about all over campus with a pink drink in your hands. He can’t get enough of you, and it’s fucking obvious to his friends who make fun of him for it.

“y/n, Kook? Really?” Yugyeom snorts, “Only in your fucking dreams will you ever hit that, your little guy down there probably wouldn’t even know what to do with all that ass.” Laughter all around them erupts as Yugyeom smugly smirks, happy with himself.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You’re so fucking stupid,” more laughing, “honestly, if anyone has more chances it’s me, you’re all either losers AND she’s never bat an eye at you. I don’t see any action from any of you either, all talk and shit.” He mutters while taking a drag from the blunt they were all passing around.

“Not true! y/n is a nice girl Jungkook.” Jimin snorts, “Watch,” he turns around and looks over the area for you, “hey y/n!” He yells while waving his arms. They all wait patiently for your reaction, low and behold you just end up proving Jimin correct.

You look confused at first until you smile brightly, “Hi,” you wave back while walking over, “what are you guys up to?” You tilt your head, lips pursed in a adorable little pout.

“Smoking.” Yugyeom replies curtly, “Want some?” He holds the blunt out to you.

Jungkook doesn’t know why but that shit irks the fuck out of him, he shoots his friend a glare and fans the smoke out of your direction before it can hit you. You smell like chai mixed with pumpkin, and he definitely does NOT want to ruin your pretty smell.

“No thank you,” you politely reply and then turn to look at Jimin again, “ ‘m a little sad though, because this morning I tried to make waffles but I didn’t know you had to actually pull the lever down and I didn’t get to eat my waffles.” You sigh wistfully, “See?” You hold out the raw and cold waffles wrapped up in a napkin, “And I don’t like it,” you shake your head, “you’re my friend right Jiminie? Can you buy me some waffles from the cafe pretty please?” You whine.

Jimin turns a little red at the nickname and nods, “Here,” he holds out a couple of bills, more than enough.

The other guys scramble for their wallets, “I’m your friend too right y/n?” They say while holding out their own money to you. Jungkook just stands there slack-jawed, he has never seen his own friends this fucking down-bad before. Oh, but they wanted to laugh at him for simping after you? Funny how the tables have turned.

“Reallyyyy?” You breathily giggle while accepting the money, “Thank you!” You kiss Jimin on the cheek before skipping away with literally breakfast, lunch, and dinner money.

“But I’M the fuckin’ simp? Yeah, totally.” Jungkook scoffs while shaking his head.

Jungkook starts making up an excuse to talk to you from then on. He doesn’t have to do much because you do all the talking for him, he just stands there listening to you ramble on and on about something he doesn’t recall asking. He thinks it’s cute when you stop mid-sentence and say in utter confusion, “What was I talking about again?”

If he could, he’d sit there and just listen to you talk all day. He’s surprised how much he likes your ditziness and dumb little brain fart moments, he finds that he doesn’t mind it so much. Like now, he was sitting there propped up against his car in the parking lot listening to you rant about astrology, time-loops, and anime..?

“Yeah?” Jungkook occasionally says while he watches you passionately explain to him what a fucking shinigami was.

“Think about it—politics and death notebooks, they go hand in hand for disaster and doom.” You softly say, completely side-tracking from the original topic, “I wish I had a shinigami though,” you pout while tapping your finger against your chin, “I think Ryuk is pretty cool. Have you seen the anime?”

Jungkook hums, “No, heard of it but haven’t seen it. So like, shinigami’s come with a death note or what?” He asks, ready for another little rant of yours (he doesn’t mind though). His eyes fall down to your pretty camisole you wore today. You were wearing these cute tight jeans that hung low on your hips, he loved the little pink bows you attached to the belt loops.

“Mm-hm,” you nod, “oh! I gotta go before I forget, all my undies shrunk in the dryer and now they’re pretty tight ‘n they fit a little smaller so now I have to buy some more.” You pout, “Bye Jungkookie,” you throw one arm around his neck as you side-hug him, standing on your tippy toes to reach his height as you press a kiss to his cheek, “bye-bye!” You wave and run off.

“Bye..” Jungkook whispers in awe, he smells a hint of your perfume on his shirt and he vows then and there he isn’t going to wash this shirt anytime soon.

The next time that Jungkook sees you it’s when he’s leaving your shared apartment after another project session. He sees you bent over while poking and trying to pull at the gas tank lid, which is obviously sealed shut. He whistles under his breath and walks over, eyes dropping down to your perky ass which is covered in these pretty little shorts which hug both cheeks nice and tight.

“What you doing down there, hm?” Jungkook leans against the car with his arms folded over his chest and an amused smile on his face, “Having fun?”

“Jungkook, hi,” you greet softly while standing up straight, “I was just trying to get this stupid thingy open because Jennie is letting me borrow her car cause mine is in the shop getting the windows tinted,” you pout, “but I don’t know how to open this stupid thing, and I wanna fill her car with gas as a thank you for letting me borrow it. Help meeeee,” you whine tugging at his arm.

“C’mere,” he loosely wraps an arm around your waist and guides you to sit in the driver's seat, “you see this baby?” He squats down so he’s eye-level with you, his free hand rests over your soft thighs while he points with his other, “You just pull this, and wa-la, the gas tank lid pops right open.” He chuckles and squeezes your thigh.

Your eyes brighten, “Reallyyy? How cool, thank you.” You happily throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, “no wonder that stupid thing wasn’t opening.” You giggle.

Jungkook takes a deep whiff of your soft coconut smell, he closes his eyes and sighs in pure bliss. This was the dream dammit, he never wanted to leave this spot EVER. “It was no problem really.” He mumbles more to himself while he stares at your pretty tits.

Fuck the friend code (if you can even call Jennie’s threat that), friend code didn’t have a pair of child-bearing hips and a ass shaped like a fucking peach like you did. Who was Jennie to keep all of you to herself so selfishly?

“Jungkook,” you softly say, “ ‘m gonna give you a thank you kiss.”

Jungkook laughs in amusement over how proud of yourself you look right now, he finds himself shaking his head and speaking in a lower pitched tone, “Yeah, where? Right here?” He turns his face to stick his cheek out.

A tiny little giggle escapes your lips as you nod at him, “Mm-hmm, right there.” You lean upwards to kiss his cheek gently, emitting a soft smacking noise as you happily smooch him. “There.” You say more to yourself.

Jungkook’s eyes drop down to your jiggly boobs which are pretty much in his face at this point. Your camisole somehow dips lower as your tits sit perfectly pushed together to accentuate their size. He tells himself not to but his dick seems to say otherwise as it stirs up in the confinements of his boxers. He already knows he’s about to be sporting a hard-on by the end of this interaction so he gives in.

“Want another kiss..” He mumbles while licking his lips, “But not on my cheek..got somethin’ else you can kiss.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight and you come across the very prominent bulge sitting behind his sweats. Your cheeks feel hot from embarrassment as the familiar throbbing sensation forms between your legs. Jungkook sees this when you suddenly begin rubbing your soft thighs together while staring back at him through half-lidded eyes.

“Whaddya say baby,” he lazily grins, “can I get that kiss?”

You stare back at him with those sweet puppy eyes of yours and nod eagerly.

Lips smacking against lips and quiet little moans/noises fill the otherwise dimly lit car (God bless his Mercedes for the interior lighting). You were tucked away on his lap in the backseat of the car, windows foggy and all as your hand slipped from the glass. Jungkook could die a happy man right now with the way he had a handful of ass sitting in the palms of his hands. He gave your soft cheeks appreciative squeezes as he kneaded the flesh roughly—greedily.

His own lips were a bit swollen from the hot make-out session but he didn’t mind, you were one hell of a kisser. One thing he didn’t see coming was how much of a little sex fiend you were, he swears he can’t keep up with how needy and slutty you are. He almost finds it cute how you pout and beg for him to let you have it while simultaneously humping him and refusing to let him part from the kiss.

Jungkook raised his hand and brought it down hard on your ass cheek, relishing in the resounding slap noise and how it recoiled/bounced in place. A slutty little moan escapes your lips as you pull back and pant softly against his lips, “Take ‘em off,” you slur softly, “hate these stupid shorts, gettin’ in my way.” You mumble with a tiny pout.

“Gonna let me see what’s underneath baby?” He looks up through his hooded eyes, grinning when he sees you eagerly nodding back at him, “Yeah? Go on then, slide ‘em off baby, show me what you got on.” He smacks your ass and gropes it harshly, only letting go when you whine at him while unbuttoning your shorts.

He swears under his breath as soon as the button pops open and you slip the zipper down. The hem of your undies comes into view, he sees a tiny bow sitting at the top so innocently and he can’t help but wonder what the rest of your panties are like.. Jungkook reclines back on the seat and parts his legs to make room for you.

You manage to slip your shorts down your thighs slowly with your hips swaying from side to side. Jungkook lets out an audible groan when he sees the cheeky undergarment that was hiding underneath. “Well don’t you look pretty,” he comments while running his hand over your ass, “bet you look prettier under.” He mumbles while licking his lips.

“But what about your kiss?” You pout.

Jungkook smacks your ass wickedly, “Don’t give me that fuckin’ pout. Didn’t know you were that eager to suck my cock, ‘s all you’re good for isn’t it baby? Just a dumb little thing who needs her mouth filled huh?” He grins when he hears you moan, “You gonna be a good little cock sleeve for me?”

“The best,” you happily slur, “ ‘m gonna swallow every last drop, promise.”

He finds it endearing when you hold your pinky out to him, and not wanting to be mean he hooks his pinky with yours, “Good girl.” He brings you in for a gentle little smooch, “Gonna ruin that pretty face of yours baby,” he whispers in-between kisses, “get on your knees for me.”

Jungkook finds that he likes how submissive and responsive you are to him, makes it a hundred times sexier in his opinion. You sink to your knees in front of him without missing a beat, you have your hands set over his knees as you sit there waiting with puppy eyes. “Go ahead baby, ‘s all yours.” He chuckles.

You eagerly paw at his sweats and with his help pull them down alongside his boxers until his fat cock is springing out and slapping against his lower abdomen. Your mouth waters when your eyes land on his perfectly sculpted cock, now you wanna feel it inside of you more than ever. His cock lays against his stomach, flush at the tip with prominent veins on the underside of his shaft.

“ ‘s mine…?” You whisper breathily while pursing yours lips, “ ‘s so pretty..” You’re talking more to yourself as you grab ahold of his throbbing cock and bring the mushroomy tip to your lips. Your tongue pokes out as you swirl it over the head, moaning softly at the tangy taste.

Jungkook bites down on his lip as he watches with hooded eyes, he can’t believe his wet dreams are coming true. Did he save an entire country in his past life? Made sense with how lucky he was right now. He brings his tattooed hand over the back of your head as he simply rests it there, letting you explore his dick like if it was a lollipop or some shit.

Your lips wrap around the head as you make these sloppy little sucking noises. Trickles of saliva begin to trickle down his cock, you use it as lube to stroke his girthy shaft—twisting and turning your hand around it while you noisily swallow around the tip. Jungkook’s lips part with breathy sighs escaping him, he relaxes into the seat and leans his head back with his eyes slipped shut.

You’re working wonders on his cock right now with the way you’re slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth. “Like that,” he whispers more to himself as he moans out again when you dip your tongue into the sensitive slit of his tip. Your strokes become slower but much more intense with the pressure you start applying. It’s getting a lot harder now to control himself from bucking his hips or something.

“Shit, don’t tease me baby,” he groans, “been thinking about your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock for weeks now. Knew you’d look pretty with a mouth full of cock.” Jungkook opens his eyes again to admire the view. “Open up for me baby,” he reaches down to thumb at your lower lip, “there you go—like that.” He grins.

He feeds you more of his cock watching as you eagerly take more and more until the tip hits the back of your throat. It sends you into a small gagging fit but the vibrations and pressure of your throat closing around him definitely sends zaps of hot pleasure down in his groin and lower belly. “Shit.” He groans loudly.

You whine around his cock and pull away to catch your breath, his cock slips from your mouth with a string of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. Jungkook hisses quietly under his breath and reaches down to stroke his slicked up cock, “Messy little thing you are.”

“Off, off, ‘s my turn.” You huff cutely before swallowing his cock in one go now that you’re a bit more prepared.

It takes Jungkook by surprise as he groans loudly and throws his head back. You begin working wonders with that sinful tongue of yours, pairing it with some mean ass sucks. He lets his hand slip from the back of your head to the nape of your neck, just holding you there as he lets you do your thing. You begin bobbing your head slowly while noisily swallowing around his cock.

“Fucking hell y/n,” he whispers slack-jawed, you’re a damn menace. How the hell is he supposed to last? “You just needed something to fill that needy hole of yours didn’t you?” He pants softly, “Knew the moment I saw you that you were made for my cock baby. If only you could see yourself now.” He licks his lips and gives your neck a small gentle squeeze between his fingers.

You slurp up all the slick you leave behind on his cock, your hand sits at the base just idly gripping him while your mouth does all the work. You pull all the way up until the tip sits in your mouth before you swoop back down to take all of him in. He repeatedly hits the back of your throat but you do a much better job at controlling your gag reflex this time around. Your sloppy pace definitely has Jungkook moaning and grunting under his breath.

“Gonna cum,” he sighs, “keep going—like that.” He whispers as a full body shudder falls over him.

You eagerly pull off his cock and begin stroking him at a frantic pace. You watch with glee as his cock begins to throb in your hold, but you don’t let it deter you one bit. You’re eager to see him cum, you want it all in your mouth. “Like this?” You say this while squeezing around the tip and flicking your thumb over it.

Jungkook gasps softly, “Fuck..!” He hisses.

You smile deviously and bring the tip over your lips, “Or like this?” You whisper, blowing softly over his sensitive head before you take him back into your mouth.

Jungkook lets out a mantra of “fucks” and “yes’s” as he reaches down to grip his cock, his hand covers your own as he begins moving your hand up and down on his cock. You suckle at the head and watch as he comes undone. “Oh fuckkk..” He whispers as his cock throbs, cum shooting down your throat as you swallow around him greedily.

He slumps in the seat and pants quietly while watching you clean his dick with your sinful little tongue. He doesn’t think he’s ever cum that hard in his entire life before. He saw the pearly white gates of heaven just now.. “A-Ah shit, no more baby, ‘s sensitive.” He chuckles breathily when you try to suck on his (slowly softening) cock.

You pull back with a cheerful smile on your face, the corner of your mouth has drool and a bit of cum but you don’t seem to mind, “ ‘s so pretty.” You coo like his dick is the most amazing thing ever, he watches you lean over to press a tiny little kiss to the sensitive head.

Are you even real??

“C’mere,” he pats his lap, “I saw the way you were humping your own hand like a bitch in heat the entire time you had my cock in your mouth.” He says as he hauls you up, “You also deserve a nice little thank you, don’t you baby?” He grins while stroking his hands over your soft cheeks.

You nod eagerly, “Mm-hm,” you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him closer, “do you wanna come upstairs after this? I wanna introduce you to my bunny Luna! Oh, and we can watch some anime together because I think it’s lame you haven’t seen Sailor Moon OR Death Note.” You huff in disbelief.

Little did Jungkook know that by saying yes to all that he’d end up staying for wayyyyy longer than he initially planned. You becoming (a important) part of his life was a bonus. <3

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @gukiebaby @babycandy111

#bts #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #bts jungkook

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mulletmitsuya · 10 months ago

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Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive (i might have to change this warning to "mentions of sexual content" bcs it's too tame of a warning for the stuff that's actually in here), swearing, the word "pedophile" is mentioned, mentions of substance abuse

Desc: Everyone finds out Takemitchy and Mikey are time leapers, which leads to some...interesting questions

Mitsuya: so let me get this straight

Mitsuya: you're a time traveler, and you've lived dozens of timelines to prevent Hina from dying but she kept dying anyway but then when you got to one where she didn't die, Mikey was some deranged criminal lord and was miserable and depressed and tried to kill himself so you had to go back in time again to make sure everything was fixed but ended up dying while fighting Mikey but then somehow you both went back in time and rewrote all of our entire lives??

Takemitchy: yeah...

Baji: cap

Mikey: it's not

Mitsuya: so Mikey's a time traveler too?

Mikey: yeah it's crazy i know

Draken: do you guys have any way to prove this?

Chifuyu: this explains why i keep getting random visions of me in alternate universes. holy shit

Haruchiyo: weird ass prank

Takemitchy: i think it happened since you're close to me and we basically did everything together. i'm not sure

Inupi: we're just gonna believe this?

Koko: wait, i kind of do

Kisaki: this...defies all logic of anything ever.

Mikey: shut up Kisaki

Mikey: i'm sorry it's just that in ever other timeline you've ruined my life so it's difficult to be nice to you sometimes

Kisaki: so you don't like me because of something i did in another universe?

Takemitchy: *timeline

Mikey: yeah. my bad

Baji: i'm gonna entertain this cause i'm bored but what was i like in other timelines

Mikey: dead

Baji: ...all of em?

Mikey: yeah, it kinda drove me to insanity

Baji: damn

Baji: why?

Mikey: you killed yourself to save Kazutora

Baji: what was the context

Mikey: long story

Baji: there wasn't any other way?

Mikey: you're kinda pissing me off cause that's what i was wondering, actually

Baji: damn

Kazutora: thanks man. appreciate it🙏

Kazutora: i'll slobber on your meat later, as a proper thank you

Baji: i'd appreciate that. thanks homie🙌

Koko: what about me?

Baji: you wanna slobber on my meat? i mean i won't stop you. as long as i can call you kitten.

Koko: ...i was talking about me in alternate universe's😐

Takemitchy: i don't think we should go there guys. there's too many timelines, and not everything was exactly the same. and also in general it was a really traumatizing experience for me and i kind of want to end my life every time i think about it

Hanma: womp womp. what about me???

Mikey: murderer

Hanma: YESSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

Hanma: THANK GOD, I KNEW IF I COULDN'T DO IT HERE, MULTIVERSE ME WOULD HAVE LIVED THE DREAM

Hanma: are me and Tetta-san together in every universe

Mikey: surprisingly, yes

Hanma: and he denies we're soulmates😔

Kisaki: i will not hesitate to get another restraining order

Hanma: a piece of paper won't stand in my way. let's get married

Kisaki: i will call the police

Draken: guys are we really entertaining this?

Mikey: you went to jail in one of the timelines and you were bald LMAO

Draken: sure

Baji: why'd he go to jail?

Mikey: these guys killed Emma and Ken-chin took revenge

Baji: respectable

Mikey: he was given a death sentence

Baji: that's tough fr

Ran: i'm kinda curious

Ran: humour me, what was i like?? was i famous?

Mikey: you were a criminal. killed people

Ran: sounds about right if i'm being honest

Ran: and Haruchiyo and Rindou?

Haruchiyo: leave me out of Takemitchy's psychotic episodes

Haruchiyo: i think you have a hallucination/delusion disorder or something

Mikey: but don't you believe me?

Haruchiyo: ...

Haruchiyo: Mikey, you're also pretty mentally ill

Mikey: says you???

Haruchiyo: i just have substance abuse problems and i'm getting clean so...

Mikey: GUYS I'M TELLING THE TRUTH I SWEAR

Mikey: I'VE BEEN GOING CRAZY KEEPING THIS A SECRET

Draken: when was the last time you slept?

Mikey: ☹️

Baji: guys just play pretend.

Rindou: what about me?

Mikey: same as your brother just uh, less gay and slutty?

Rindou: story of my life

Inupi: you didn't do Koko

Mikey: criminal

Koko: the whole time?

Mikey: yeah

Mikey: Inupi got normal at some point because he and Ken-chin got close and they fixed bikes together and had sex

Inupi: Draken????

Draken: you're really starting to piss me off.

Mikey: Akane died in the fire though like she was BURNT

Takemitchy: uh Mikey-kun...

Mikey: she was a crisp i'm telling you

Mikey: Inupi you had an ugly red scar on your face and no one wanted you

Mikey: Izana i know you're reading this, you were fucking insane dude like you killed Emma for some fucking reason then Kisaki shot you 3 times in the chest and you died while having a really bad mental breakdown. it was a major L on your part

Chifuyu: Mikey why are you leaving out the fact that the common denominator in every single timeline was that you killed every single one of your friends in the most brutal ways possible🤨?

Mikey: no comment

Smiley: how'd he kill me?

Chifuyu: uhhh

Chifuyu: Takemitchy help me out here

Takemitchy: i don't want to talk about it😐

Chifuyu: I REMEMBER

Chifuyu: backshot

Smiley: ...

Smiley: he killed me by giving me backshots..?

Smiley: i would NEVER take it from behind

Smiley: especially from MIKEY

Smiley: small dick having ass

Smiley: my bootyhole is not to be messed with

Smiley: i'm so pissed off right now holy shit

Smiley: how did i even die???? dick so good it killed me?

Smiley: i'm so angry

Angry: and i'm Smiley😂

Baji: 3/10 joke 👎, poor delivery, fell flat

Smiley: i hope you kill yourself, Mikey

Mikey: trust me, i've tried

Chifuyu: ???

Chifuyu: he shot you in the back with a gun?

Chifuyu: what's wrong with you

Smiley: oh my bad i though you meant like, he was taking me doggy style

Smiley: i'm no bottom

Ran: what is happening

Chifuyu: i'm moving on😐

Chifuyu: Hakkai was tied to a chair and burnt to death

Hakkai: wha-

Hakkai: WHAT DID I DO??

Hakkai: jesus 😟

Chifuyu: why am i getting all these memories, i'm freaking out

Hakkai: Mikey please tell me what i did to deserve that ☹️

Mikey: idk Hakkai i was going through a lot

Draken: have you been diagnosed with anything?

Mikey: i don't need a diagnosis bcs i'm fine now, you're all alive and i don't have any murderous intent!!! yippee🤗

Mikey: isn't this great Takemitchy??

Takemitchy: well, yeah no ones dead so that's great

Izana: this is obviously completely fabricated

Izana: are you guys that bored?

Senju: man for all that time traveling you sure are a shit boyfriend😭

Takemitchy: how????

Takemitchy: did Hina say that☹️??

Senju: it's an observation

Senju: you've had way too many coincidental close calls with other woman💀

Draken: yeah you pissed me off when you thought i was gifting you a prostitute. you had a whole ass girlfriend. shame on you

Senju: and you also almost slept with Emma and you "don't remember"

Smiley: Mitchy's low-key funny as hell because what do you mean you stripped yourself and another girl down to your underwear by accident

Baji: wouldn't Takemitchy be a pedophile then?? Emma was 13 dawg🤨

Mikey: he was 14 though😭

Baji: you're gonna ride Takemitchy's dick to defend him from trying to sleep with your 13 year old sister??? crazy

Baji: wasn't be mentally 26🤨?

Baji: bro i'm gonna beat your ass actually

Mikey: hmm

Mikey: you know what Mitchy, why did you do that 🤨?

Smiley: LMFAOO

Mitsuya: why did i come back to Takemitchy facing pedophile allegations, like what's going on right now

Kazutora: is it not enough that he changed the space and time continuum just to be with his girl?

Kazutora: cheating this cheating that, my boy deserves all the pussy he wants

Kazutora: he's been beaten, shot, stabbed AND killed

Kazutora: i personally believe he's the goat

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: goat is an acronym for "greatest of all time", Baji-san

Baji: what's an acronym

Chifuyu: i'll dm

Kazutora: bro you're so fucking stupid😭

Draken: i don't care if he was skinned alive by an orangutan, there's no excuse to cheat on someone

Rindou: i think being skinned alive by an orangutang warrants having more than one girl. idk that's just me tho

Ran: not the point that's being made rn

Rindou: what exactly is the point that's being made

Rindou: is this real. are we being serious.

Rindou: i don't think i get the joke

Haruchiyo: i think we should all stop talking now

Mikey: Mitchy we need to talk a bit

Takemitchy: i told you this was a bad idea

592 notes · View notes

love-belle · 1 year ago

Text

my sunshine !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're the 'it' couple and everyone's obsessed with them, rightfully so.

for when you find your forever kinda person. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - finally it's here!!! i really hope u like it!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3

edit - changed it bc the person who requested it doesn't speak hindi x

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 799,416 others

yourusername 💐

tagged landonorris

7,728 comments

username i think i just died and went to heaven

username SHUT UP EVERYONE

username babe wake up y/n is slaying one again

username SHE'S SO ETHEREAL GODDAMN

carmenmmundt the most beautiful 🤍

-> yourusername all you angel 🤍

username SHE'S SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username she's everything to me ❤️

lilymhe holy shit marry me ?

-> yourusername wdym you're already my wife???

-> lilymhe even better 🥰

-> landonorris she's stealing my girl again alex_albon

-> alex_albon should've never introduced these two

-> lilymhe stay mad x

username MOTHER IS MOTHERING

username just reject me so i can move on PLEASE.

username PLEASE THE LAST SLIDE

username her in traditional clothing is something that's so personal to me like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> username im ready to throw these hands for y/n

charles_leclerc lando has been staring at this for 20 minutes

-> landonorris CHARLES

-> yourusername HELP

username lando is me

username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏

landonorris woah hahaha hey

-> yourusername hello 👋

landonorris i love love love youuuuuu

-> yourusername i love love love youuuuuu more

landonorris HOW ARE YOU SO PRETTY

-> yourusername IDK WHY ARE U

landonorris marry me 🫡

-> yourusername is this your way of proposing to me

-> landonorris is this working

-> yourusername no

-> landonorris what happened to "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings"

-> yourusername i have yet to see a paper ring so

-> landonorris wow.

-> usernames honestly parents

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 872,915 others

landonorris something about taylor swift and saving me a seat at every table

tagged yourusername

8,528 comments

username THEY'RE MY PARENTS OMG

username SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP

username i'll be on the highway if anyone asks

username ahahahahahah im fine!!!!!! im okay!!!!!!!!

username ok.

danielricciardo highlight of the whole outing was watching you crash that golf cart and then cry about it

-> landonorris just because you can type out a comment doesn't mean you should

username I LOVE THEM HELP

username LOVER

username they're so lover coded 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username goodnight that's enough singleness for one day 🫡

username i don't know who to be jealous of tbh

charles_leclerc you should never be near a golf cart ever again

-> landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY????

-> username WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GOLF CART I NEED TO KNOW

username they're so in love it makes me wanna throw up (in a good way)

username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head

lewishamilton loved seeing you last night!! the golf inchident definitely made my week!!

-> landonorris so glad to know my embarrassment is amusing to you

username i need them to adopt me like now.

username lando i seriously need to know if u can fight or not

yourusername you're my my my loverrr

-> landonorris yes i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍

yourusername but they're all right, never drive a golf cart again

-> landonorris NOT YOU TOO

username lando malfunctioning everytime y/n LOOK at him despite being together for such a long time is so relatable of him like ACTUALLY

username god i am not ur strongest soldier 🫤

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 799,725 others

yourusername chellam ( sweetheart )

tagged landonorris

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 913,816 others

landonorris 4ever and ever my girl. i love you.

tagged yourusername

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 89 others

yourusername a series of unfortunate events

tagged landonorris danielricciardo

7,928 comments

username I DIED OMG

carlossainz55 i feel bad for laughing

-> landonorris at least you feel bad, y/n just laughed for 10 mins and then made fun of me 💔💔💔

-> yourusername but i love you

-> landonorris i love you so much more

-> carlossainz55 THE TONE CHANGE

username THE DOLL IM CRYING

username i would sell my family to witness this irl

username y/n bullying her bf and im here for every second of it

landonorris did you really have to do me dirty like that

-> yourusername it's my love language

landonorris you promised you wouldn't laugh

-> yourusername i'm not laughing

-> landonorris love i can hear your giggles from the living room

-> yourusername that's not me lol i'm out with lily and carmen

-> landonorris WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M HOME ALONE

username Y/N TERRORIZING HER BF EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME

-> username that's what he gets for stealing my wife thank you very much

lewishamilton pity i missed seeing it in person

-> yourusername i just sent you 8 videos of it from different angels

-> lewishamilton this is why i like you more than lando

-> landonorris fuck you both.

danielricciardo is it safe to come out of my hidden place?

-> yourusername negative. lando is still out on a hunt for you.

-> danielricciardo does he still have the fork?

-> yourusername it's a rubber spatula now

-> landonorris not my gf airing out my business to the enemy what is this economy

-> yourusername you're hardly secretive with the amount of noise you make every time you enter a room so !!

username they're so chaotic bruh i love her

username DANIEL'S FACE HELP IM CRYING

-> username it was at that moment he realised. he. fucked. up.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 886,688 others

landonorris sadly only 3 out of 26281927 made it to the gram 💔

tagged yourusername

8,931 comments

username SHE'S SO

username IM IN LOVE

username jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets heart beats out of chest awooga awooga sound affect pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out slams fists on table rattling any plates bowls or silverware whistles loudly fireworks shoot from top of head pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth wipes comically large bead of sweat from head clears throat straightens tie combs hair ahem you look very lovely GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF

-> yourusername babe are you okay?

-> username ahsjdjdkeksmssd;;;;72hsshskksk

username she's so 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

lilymhe girlfriend 💐🤍

-> landonorris right??? MY girlfriend

-> username lando forever getting defensive with lily around will never NOT be funny

-> username it's bc he knows that y/n and lily can and will absolutely wife eachother up

*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*

username IM ON MY KNEES GODDAMN

username HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE GOD'S FAVOURITE

-> username this is me yelling at lando btw

-> landonorris pretty good haha i know how lucky i am

-> username GOODBYE.

username SHE'S A REAL GODDESS LIKE WOAH

username lando better wife her up before i do (threatening)

*liked by landonorris*

username im SOOOOooooOOO normal about this

carmenmmundt i expect an email with those 26281927 photos

-> landonorris duly noted

username everyone being obsessed with y/n is so real of them actually

username lando norris i am under your bed.

username she's for the girls and the gays i don't make the rules.

username IM SO AHHASHSJDHSKSK

yourusername thank you for being my personal photographer ❤️

-> landonorris only for you ❤️

yourusername also thank you for choosing good photos of me 🫡

-> landonorris that's so not true because every single photo of yours is the BEST

-> username im blushing and he didn't even say it to ME

username god me when.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 896,599 others

yourusername just look at him if you have a vitamin d deficiency ☀️

tagged landonorris

8,732 comments

username HE'S SO SUNSHINE BOY

username STOP HE'S ADORABLE

username im love with both of them actually

username no bc he's her sunshine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

carlossainz55 my eyes hurt from looking at this post for too long

-> yourusername they're being blessed so 😮‍💨

-> landonorris thank you baby 🥰

username lando always being 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 with y/n is so

username i need this couple like serotonin every day im not joking

username god i knew u had favourites

username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

username babe wake up my parents are being cute on the main again

lilymhe opened this app and saw this abomination what is this torture.

-> landonorris BLOCKED.

-> yourusername relax you both can be my side hoes 😘

-> lilymhe SIDE?

-> francisca.cgomes bebé ❤️

-> yourusername kika ❤️

-> landonorris that's a betrayal i did not see coming

-> lilymhe same omg

username HE'S SO GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND

username that's a look of pure joy like im smiling by just looking at these photos omg

landonorris my ❤️

-> yourusername my sunshine ❤️

-> landonorris i just need to hear those 5 words

-> yourusername i love you so much

-> landonorris cute but try again

-> yourusername i won't wife up lily

-> landonorris thank you ❤️

username THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR IM DONE

username sigh this is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagines #lando norris insta au #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris blurb

2K notes · View notes

theannoyingmosquitoinyourroom · 9 months ago

Text

i started liveblogging my read in my tags but i ran out of tags so imma continue here but like. read the tags first and then this cuz thats the order. damn i wish i had slots left so that i could tag the reblog w the writing tag as well n stuff. welp, next time ig

anyway moving on from phone-trees

“you may not be my daughter but i still want Maria’s kid to be safe” thats so cute i love you snake man

“for the institution is spell protected” ooh interesting!!!

“admission exams were such a pain in the—“ liz you are 100% correct. also its so fucking cool that you can camouflage!!

okay so if its an anthology im assuming it happens in the same universe? but idk lost of anthologies work differently

if you have more thoughts about the university id be happy to listen im curious to see what kinds of courses there are!!!!!

also im wondering what sort of magical beings are possible in this world. and now thinking of it, i wonder whats up w carlos he seems like a chill dude, i like him

Paternity Test

“I think my dad is a demon.”

“Not unheard of.” Carlos, the exchange demonology student, replied.

Liz frowned.

“I'm serious. My mom never talks about him and now there's this weird… spirit thing, following me.”

“Do you feel hot?”

“What?”

“Hot, angry, headaches, skin reddening?”

“No?”

“No signs of a hellspawn then, you're clear.”

“Come on Carlinhos, help me here, you're the only one from that weird magic uni I know.”

Carlos sighed.

“Okay, tell me what happened.”

“It all started 3 months ago.”

I had just arrived home from school. Mother sent me a message saying she wouldn't be home but lunch was in the fridge. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Mom in the kitchen, frying rice. (my favorite!)

When she noticed me walking in she turned to me with the brightest smile I ever saw on her face. She rushed me to the table saying I should eat my lunch before going to work. And that's when I started to notice some weird stuff.

First of all, her fried rice didn't taste the same. It wasn't bad, but it didn't taste like mom's fried rice.

Second, she would not eat with me, just… stare. It freaked me out. She kept smiling while looking at me, and when I asked if she was going to eat she said:

“Oh no, human food give me stomach aches.”

She said that with a straight face, I didn't know whether to believe she was joking or not.

Once I finished my food she stood up and gently held me by my shoulders. With tears in her eyes she said:

“My daughter, my beautiful daughter.”

Do I need to say that's not something my mother does regularly? She continued:

“I missed you so much.”

And kissed me on the forehead.

It was at that moment I heard the entrance door being unlocked and the distinct voice of my mother saying:

“I'm back early sweety, did you eat already?”

My “mom” froze.

When my real mom finally reached the kitchen, they stared at each other for a moment.

“You again?!” My real mom yelled, throwing the shopping bags on the floor “I told you to leave us alone! Get away! Go! Go!”

She was slapping my “other mom” in the back and rushing her out of the house. I remember the pitiful look on my other mom’s face, she was silent as she left the house.

When I, rightfully, asked my actual mother what the hell just happened, she said we should talk after my shift, so I went to work. When I got home that day, she simply acted like nothing ever happened! She's gaslighting me to this day!

***

“Oh!” Carlos interrupted “Was it that day? The one you were so tired you thought your hand was turning gray while working the coffee machine?”

“Yeah”

“Hm…” he squinted his eyes at her “Crazy, sorry, go on”

***

And then I started to notice weird stuff happening.

First, suddenly I noticed a strange aura on the snake that always follows me around…

***

“Wait, wait, sorry again, the hell you mean the snake that follows you around? Are there even snakes in this region?! Isn't Ireland a snake free country?”

“Yeah, I didn't notice at first, there were plenty of snakes in my hometown, I hadn't realized they weren't common here.”

“And you were not worried that a specific snake followed you around?”

“It wasn't a venomous one, it's a milk snake, cute, like a pet.”

“Holy Shit.”

“Can I?”

“Yeah sure, go ahead.”

“Okay so…”

***

There was this weird aura around it.

Out of nowhere the snake tried to curl around my leg so I grabbed it gently, I looked at its face and I shit you not — I recognized it! The way its mouth stood… it looked like it was smiling, the same smile my “other mother” had at that time!

No need to say I dropped the snake and ran away.

Three days later my math teacher started acting weird as well. You know, don't you? Mr. Walker hates my guts! But suddenly he was being very nice to me. He wouldn't complain about my lateness anymore nor scold me for sleeping in his class. A sudden change of heart was weird but I wasn't complaining. Until I noticed.

His smile. He would always smile at me, with the same smile.

The same as the other mother. The same as the snake.

I wasn't having it.

After school, I cornered him in the parking lot.

“Who are you and what did you do with Mr. Walker?!”

He looked surprised for a moment.

“What do you mean, Miss Ferreira? I'm Mr. Walker.”

“No, you're not.” I rebuked “Mr. Walker can't pronounce my last name for shit. You're not him. What did you do?”

He smiled. The same sly snake-like grin.

“I believe we should discuss this in a place a bit more… private.”

“I'm not going to your fucking second location, you weirdo.” God knows what he had done to Mr. Walker. I wasn't risking it. I watch true crime documentaries, I'm not dumb.

He looked genuinely hurt. Maybe I was being rude. But fuck politeness.

“Maybe you could… choose a place and time? So we can discuss it properly. I swear your teacher is fine.”

He looked pathetic at this point. I was starting to feel bad.

“Okay…” I said and gave him a place and time.

***

We met at a diner. It wasn't late, I had just gotten off work. The sky was gleaming orange on the horizon, streets busy with workers heading home. It was fine. I was fine. I was not nervous. Not a bit.

I wiped the sweat out off my hands as I waited for him.

He showed up. At the exact time we planned. He had the same big smile on his face, it felt… silly.

“I'm glad you chose a more isolated seat,” he said to me and winked, “Let me show you a trick.”

And then the man wearing Mr. Walker's skin suddenly wasn't anymore.

I'll spare you the details of the transformation, but you know how snakes shed their skin? Yeah. That's what happened.

The new… person in front of me was very pale, although their skin had red and black spots all over, very androgynous also, and very lanky. Their hair and eyes were black as the night sky, I could not see their pupils, but I was sure they were slits and I just knew that if I touched their skin it would be cold and damp. The smile was the same though. It felt… comforting, for some reason.

I was shocked of course. And disgusted. Not by their appearance but the “trick” was nauseating to watch.

They grabbed my hands. As I expected, cold and damp.

“Lizzzzz…” they said “I know this is weird, but it's been 17 years and you need to know the truth.”

My mouth dropped to the floor as he said:

“I am your father.”

***

18 years ago, Maria, my mother was living in the Bahian Caatinga. She lived a simple life. Not so good, not so bad. Her parents wanted her to have a good education, so she went to the capital to study biology in college.

Mother had a special interest. Growing up in the caatinga she was used to seeing and handling a fair share of regional snakes. But what most people thought as just a regular inconvenience was her deepest passion.

She loved snakes and would never let her father kill the ones that sometimes sought shelter in her house. She would always hold them carefully and release them back to the wild, leaving the old man to pout and rant “They'll just keep coming back!”.

And that's cute, right? I'm all for helping the local species but… it caused her to receive some… unusual attention.

Suddenly, — no matter where she went — there would always be a snake around. She didn't notice at first, after all, what are the chances? But it was the same snake every time. A male milk snake, very common in the area but, That's weird… she thought, yet, what could she do? Even if she was superstitious, wouldn't that be a good sign anyways?

She got used to it eventually. And everything was normal. At least until St. John's day.

It was during the June holidays. Her village was going all out for the festivities that year: colorful banderoles from pole to pole, stands of all types in the street, the laughter of the children in their costumes filling the air together with the winter smells of corn, peanut, stews and alcohol brought by the cold breeze, the music never stopped, from the sanfoneiros at the plaza to the home speakers blasting all genres of music.

It was night, but the village shone as if the sun had never set.

It was during the festivities that a strange man, who later claimed to be called Conrado, approached her.

Extending his hand he said:

“Care for a danssssssce?”

Oh, he must be nervous, Mom thought, how adorable. And took his hand.

The dancing leads to flirting, and that leads to kissing, and kissing leads to… well, you know.

He promised to go see her the next day, at the cathedral by morning. She accepted, of course, after all, she had to explain that she had a boyfriend in the city… oopsies. But when she went there… there was no man, only that same snake that always followed her around.

And that was when he realized, and oh boy was she pissed.

Seriously? A snake demon?! A STALKER SNAKE DEMON?!

The snake did its best to be understood, to explain itself. But it could not talk, so I guess it didn't work.

What made Mom angrier was the fact that she didn't get her period the month later… neither the next month, nor the nine months that came after. And then I was born.

Years later, when I was… uh… five? she moved to Ireland — the only place with no snakes she could think of — to further her education, claiming I would also be safer here.

It took a while for “Conrado” to find us, most specifically, me. But he is very happy he did. He's been watching over me ever since.

***

“Wait, you said she had a boyfriend back in the city?” I asked.

“Hm? Yessssssss… I didn't mind though…”

“That means I could also be his daughter.”

He gave me a sad look.

“Yessssss but, I feel you aren't…” He looked even sadder. “But you musssst have notisssssssed, right…? That you are different.”

“No. I didn't.”

Was my skin a little weird? Yes, but I'm a teenager. Do I have some speech impediments related to s and z sounds? Yeah, but lots of people have it too! Was my sense of smell stronger? Yeah, but that's not out of this world. Was I a bit stronger than normal for my build? Yeah, well actually no, y’all are just a bunch of wimps.

He looked at me with the saddest expression I ever saw on a man, he looked… pathetic. Exactly my mom's type, that I can't deny.

“Okay, then…” he sighed, “but if you notice something… anything, you can call me, alright? I'm staying in the woods next to your house, just scream into a tree and I'll find you.”

He was about to leave, but then realized something and turned back to me.

“Also, take this,” he handed me a rock with a hole in the middle “You might not be my daughter, but I still want Maria's kid to be safe.” aw

And he left.

***

“And that’s it.” Liz finished her story with a sigh. “He can’t be my real dad, right? I would have noticed it…”

“Liz,” Carlos said in a deep voice “Did you notice that you didn’t blink a single time in this conversation?”

“What?”

“And that your hands and arms have camouflaged themselves on the table?”

“What?!” Liz looked down and sure thing, the color of her hands was completely changed, blending in with the table. Liz's mouth was on the floor.

“Also, everyone thinks I am enrolled at a regular university, no “weird magic uni”, for the institution is spell protected.”

Liz was flabbergasted “Then how? I…?”

“Only special humans or magical beings are able to know the truth about the university.”

“...”

“You should call your dad.” Carlos said “Also, you're almost finishing high school, right? I think you'll be getting an email soon…’’

“I… don't I need to apply first?’’

“The mystic arts university works differently, it's more like they come for you, no application needed.”

“I… I'll get going.” Liz stumbled.

Needless to say, a certain snake was very happy that evening. And feelings aside, Liz could not help to feel relieved to have a uni waiting for her already, admission exams were such a pain in the—.

#THE TITLE IS MUCH FUNNIER THAN WHATEVER I TRIED TO COME UP WITH #‘exchange demonology student’ i love that were jumping right in theres more to this word #(wait does my sentence actually make sense?)#‘oh no human food gives me stomach aches’ <- totally normal thing for a (Definitely Human) human to say :)#‘she said we should talk after my shift so i went to work’ GIRL YOU HAVE NERVES OF STEEL I COULD NEVER #id probably call in sick and confront my mum abt it bc Holy Shit #‘isnt ireland a snake-free country’ omg i need to check for myself #OMG ITS TRUE #WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES NO SNAKES IN IRELAND WHAT #THATS SURREAL #‘needles to say i dropped the snake’ you DROP father???? YOU DROP FATHER LIKE AN OBJECT??? JAIL FOR YOU!! JAIL FOR YOU FOR 1000 YEARS (/j)#‘maybe you could… choose a place and time? so we can discuss it properly. i swear your teacher is fine.’ he looked pathetic at this point’#he feel so tiny and and polite #makes me think of all those memes w polite-looking snakes #i mean #tbf thats LITERALLY what he is #‘but you know how snakes shed their skin? yeah. thats what happened’ in a RESTAURANT???? PUBLIC PLACE??? HUMAN SKIN OF FLOOR??? O-O #idk why but the dad is just so funny to me 😭#hes being unintentionally funny by trying to be so nice #i love his effort #‘oh he must be nervous’ mom thought ‘how adorable’#ma’am youre completely right #‘the snake did its best to be understood to explain itself. but it could not talk so i guess it didnt work’ man was trying so hard ;-;#but buddy. stalking is not really. Okay. like. i get that youre a snake. but also. people have their own lives? yk? privacy n all that?#‘just scream into a tree and ill find you’ brilliant communication method. 10/10 would recommend #nah but id be so fun if we could just yell into a tree to get in touch w someone #god imagine phone conversations via trees #imagine being in the park and this dude is breaking up w his girlfriend and shes like ‘YOU DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME IN PERSON?#HOW MUCH OF A COWARD ARE YOU. CALLING ME FROM A TREE. AND ITS KOT EVEN YOUR TREE ITS JUST A RANDOM TREE IN THE PARK!!!!!’#the absolute drama if people could sense which tree youre calling from

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