#i don’t wanna be alive
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idk if i want to cry for an hour straight or just kill myself
#i keep fucking things up#and that one bitch really upset with me with how she was speaking to me#and like my boss was right there and didn’t say anything#i feel like i’m too stupid to figure anything out and there’s just too much to remember with this job#i don’t want to go back to cleaning but#at least it doesn’t require me to memorize a bunch of stuff i won’t remember#cause my brain doesn’t work on the most basic level#i just can’t catch a break or have one good day#im tired and i’m hungry#i don’t wanna be alive#snow.txt
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Period stay making me feel like the most depressing evil malicious person
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#like ffs if i wanted Harry Potter stuff i’d follow a Harry Potter account 😾#even before Rowling went mask off I didn’t consider HP to be sufficiently Halloweeny#but the longer she loudly & proudly reigns as Queen Terf#the less forgiving I am to ppl trying to uncritically shove her IP into more general spaces#if u don’t give her money & just wanna go off into yr separate niche nostalgia corner for fanart & fics u do u#but a lot of us don’t wanna be reminded of that bigot’s existence when we’re just trying to get spooky#and don’t give me the whole ‘but it’s got witches in it so it’s Halloweeny by default’ bs#because if ur bar for Halloween content is ‘there’s witches and/or other magic users in it’ then NEWS FLASH#there’s other fantasy movies & books u could get aesthetic quotes & gif material from#that weren’t made by a still very much alive very actively harmful spokesperson of a hate movement#and the Instagram/TikTok ppl can find different music/sounds to sample#halloween#harry potter critical#fuck jk rowling#fuck jkr#halloween blogs#halloween aesthetic#tw harry potter#tw jkr mention#halloween movies
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thinking about how while we all make the “doomed by the narrative” jokes about tony, it’s so much worse than that. the narrative tries so so hard to save him multiple times throughout the novella and yet his tunnel vision with the ggy mystery always leads him to doom himself
#i mean even greg leaves him alive soooo much longer than he probably should’ve#he was watching him collect all that info and yet?#he only decided to eliminate him once tony wrote a FUCKING PAPER DETAILING HIS CRIMES#like baby he literally didn’t even wanna kill your ass. you just made yourself such a threat that i don’t know what you expected#we too tony pilled today so we’re thinking too hard i guess#none of this is said with malice towards the character btw i love you tony becker#you are so me#fe rambles#five nights at freddy’s#tony becker
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i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.
and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.
#let free the curse of taekwondo#oh I am so BACK#not to get too personal but god#i have been so tired bc of work#i have literally done so many long days and been so busy and so stressed#and I haven’t vibed with a bl for so long I mean I hear the sunspot was all I cared about for a bit#and im watching jack and joker now but I didn’t know if I had fallen out of love with bl#but what I think it is is i just needed something to really get my teeth into#fluff and silly fun is good I won’t ever knock it I love it I watch it#but when I have so little time I just feel myself getting impatient watching it sometimes bc I can’t sink my teeth into it#like I won’t be at work vibrating bc I know when I get home I’ll get to watch the next episode#this is what I needed#like this makes me feel alive like all my passion is invigorated again and I just feel the rants coming#and that just makes me so happy I can’t even say#I don’t wanna get emo but this show already makes me emo so#I just love being here#I love it
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*bangs my head on the wall* fuck it so i lied, there is more to it. Also the Mario there is IHY Mario. I made these a few months ago because I was bored and wanted to make something silly… Also yeah this is just the tragic Mario circle
#〝🍒ᯓ dods.#mario madness#mario madness v2#Forgive and Forget Madness#forgive and forget#I wanna add ihy Mario and make it a small poly tbh#tempting…#I’m scared to post this please don’t burn me alive
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If Frostwhistle isn’t real why does the website keep referencing it
#actually insane like . could basically call it queerbaiting right . especially listing whistle as a potential romantic option for frost??#anyway needed to get smth done for them befor the end of pride month.. cutting it close but that’s ok#frostpaw is described as having a shaky voice as she remembers her ordeal during this scene so I tried to keep her expression pretty-#-subdued. I might ship it but I am also aro and therefore I don’t wanna take away a scene where she’s showing appreciation for being alive-#-by only focusing on the ship yknow yknow. so Whistlepaw can have the goofy grin of the two of them and frostpaw not really return the gaze#that would Not be like directly on her mind yknow?? so they can have their tails twined here instead#i want it to be a sweet scene but not have them melt over each other in this one instance yknow for the sake of the canon scene and what it#-means yknow?? frostpaw is genuinely thankful for her for Saving Her Life i wanna focus on that#frostpaw#Whistlepaw#frostwhistle#whistlefrost#warrior cats#warriors#a starless clan#RiverClan#windclan#illustration
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HI GUYS IM ALIVE AND BACK WITH A NEW ARGOS DESIGN💥💥💥💥
#the world of mr plant#twomp#world of mr plant#twomrp#the world of mr plant fanart#twomp fanart#world of mr plant fanart#ashur gharavi#ashur gharavi fanart#argos twomp#IM ALIVE#I FORGOT ABOUT TUMBLR#ALOLOGIES IVE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND OTHER FIXATIONS AND STUFF#probably gonna update mr plants design#not that I don’t like their old designs but I wanna make ‘em better#took me 3 and a half hours to make this one#really hope mr plant doesn’t take as long#drawings are probably gonna be really slow because I’ve got like 2 other fixations right now and school#ANYWAYS TWOMP FANDOM THOUGHTS ON MR PLANT PLUSH‼️‼️‼️
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aaaaaa I don’t want to fly home to cold Denmark
#personal#I’m leaving Rome today#I don’t wanna. I really love it here#I’m already low key planning my next trip to Italy because I have the end of vacation blues#people just seem so alive here. I love Scandinavia and I’d never trade my home for anything but we are a grumpy bunch who keep to themselves
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Where’s that immortality pill so I can not deal with my mortality anxiety creeping up on me on an almost nightly basis??
#i just don’t wanna die#too much shit I love about being alive#plus not believing in an afterlife makes the concept really fucking terrifying
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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Looking at my list of headcanon for Yuu and I’m restraining myself so hard from calling him Ferdinand von Aegir
#The said headcanon is that Tendo Yuu is his Japanese legal name#Cuz he’s originally German#Sadly because I don’t wanna use the meme his German name in my headcanon is Ferdinand von Engel#Basically both names are the same#if ur wondering Yuu in my headcanon isn’t an orphane but he’s literally just an assurance child#Basically his parents popped him out for the sake of fortune#Then throw money at him and never look at Yuu ever again#Cuz he’s just a proof that the marriage exist#And Yuu doesn’t even remember his parents face cuz they only meet like 1-2 times a year#(To ensure that Yuu is still alive)#Might not be necessary details but Yuu’s mom is JP and father is Germany#So yeah it’s a business marriage without any love#And Yuu is just#Severely affected by that#It twisted his view on love and affection#Which is why he latched on Ryuuga so fast when he was given some recognition#And turned his nose up at Tsubasa so fast at the same time too because the bird disregard what defines him#(I wanna talk about how Tsubasa in Fusion see everything in DN in ss1 as a tool to complete his task#which including Yuu#can I take about that?)#yuu tendo#headcanons
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how do you just go on knowing that everything is fueled by anger and hate like this.
#Don’t give me reasons rn i don’t wanna hear it#This is just awful#I’m scared to be alive man. I’m scared to exist#tbd#all that glitters is not silver (ooc)
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Everyone please help manifest some good energy for my tomato plants that I transplanted way too late today (transplant shock might kill them all)
#though I also thought that of the ones I put out last week and suprise! they’re still alive#I’m so late one of them legit had tomatoes growing on it….I don’t wanna talk about it
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Do you guys think it’s dumb to want to start a series during this rise of fascism and possible censorship and there’s a chance I won’t even finish it but this story is personal to me and I wanted to share it but I took too fucking long to share it and now I think it’s too late. Honest responses only pleak.
#writers especially please tell me lmao#ik creativity and art is what will keep the human spirit alive#but like what’s the point if we may not even have tumblr or ao3 or wattpad in a few months#I don’t wanna give up but it feels like I should :/#idk still feeling sad#but let’s see tbh
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hi my asshole coworker got off w discrimination against me bc it’s too much work to go thru a load of footage for evidence so i had to come out at work forcibly for no reason including to the person who hates people like me and who i feel unsafe around so like sorry if i haven’t been responding to anybody about anything but I don’t see my response time getting any better tbh
#actually I don’t wanna be alive at all currently so that’s a fun place to be at after months of progress#mrow.org
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