#i don’t wanna be alive
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
idk if i want to cry for an hour straight or just kill myself
#i keep fucking things up#and that one bitch really upset with me with how she was speaking to me#and like my boss was right there and didn’t say anything#i feel like i’m too stupid to figure anything out and there’s just too much to remember with this job#i don’t want to go back to cleaning but#at least it doesn’t require me to memorize a bunch of stuff i won’t remember#cause my brain doesn’t work on the most basic level#i just can’t catch a break or have one good day#im tired and i’m hungry#i don’t wanna be alive#snow.txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i deserve to be put down.
0 notes
Text
Period stay making me feel like the most depressing evil malicious person
1 note
·
View note
Note
May I ask what were the best transformers media you ever saw/read?
Well Transformers Prime, Transformers 1986 and IDW comics are having the first place that’s for sure
And then the second place is kind of shared by Fall of Cybertron, Exodus, Prime wars trilogy, Robots in disguise(2001) and Transformers One.
The third place goes to G1, Animated, Earthspark, Armada, War for Cybertron Netflix series, Aligned Robots in disguise, Bumblebee, Rise of the Beasts and Cyberverse because I only liked some little parts of them.
And then I also saw some of the Bay movies, Victory and Headmasters and didn’t like them at all.
Separate first place for J-Decker. It is not exactly Transformers but it is a show about giant robots and I loved it

#call me weird for placing cheap ugly shows above Earthspark and Animated#but the thing is#I have when the whole narrative revolves around human kids#*hate#I’m allergic to them#Prime wars trilogy had one of the worst face rigs I ever saw#but it also had Overlord teaming up with evil Rodimus and Megatron being funniest mf alive#Armada is straight up infuriating imma be honest#Armada is like#Au where all the weapons work only once and then just create some glitter#I actually have SO many thoughts on Armada. like. as a writer#the way they keep reusing the same plot 3000 times is borderline impressive#OH War for Cybertron from Netflix was such an experience!#It was so painfully boring and stupid sometimes#but the other times. ooooouuufff. The scene where some nameless decepticon gives Megatron a little tour to show him how him and his friends#-work so hard for the cause??? THAT SHIT HIT HARD#….also I pretty much only like the Quintesson apocalypse arc from the entire Cyberverse#Transformers Victory is fun until you actually hear them speaking#the concept of Star Saber adopting a human child and raising him and then#going to human school as his legal guardian being like ‘yeah sure I can sign all your tiny ass documents’#it’s hilarious but unfortunately all the writers of that anime were snorting cocaine because WHY all the characters talk like that#Animated was fun for me only near the end. Idk what to say. I’m not a fan of any drama centered around humans#things got interesting when Cybertronian government got involved#Earthspark is WHOLE giant topic ahahah. I liked Twitch. sometimes. I also liked Grimlock while he had voice lines. Prowl was fun.#everything else needs and essay haha I don’t wanna annoy anyone#OH I also watching Tf Cybertron right now and this shit is UGLY. they have NO RIGS. THEY HAVE ONE EXPRESSION EACH#but for some fucked up reason I love it. they got the guy named Landmine who only can have (-_-) face.#their Megatron actually respects Starscream so far and regularly gives him positive reinforcement??? I heard words ‘excellent job Starscrea#and went WAIT WHAT#Anyway. If you ask me to ramble about media you get a word tsunami. I have a lot to share
271 notes
·
View notes
Text
Arcane viktor is the most reasonable person I’ve ever seen. If I was dying of some insane wasting disease I too would self experiment. I don’t give a fuck sure I’ll carve runes in my own fucking skin and fondle the stupid ass purple orb in my undies. The doctors said it’s terminal?? Okay awesome so I’m ignoring that and I will be healing myself via illegal experimentation. How is that crazy??? Sorry i don’t want to fucking die. Sorry I smuggled steampunk fentanyl across the border to aid in my experimenting. “You had a vision?” Sure Jayce yeah I had a vision also I don’t want to literally just fucking die. “Hextech can learn” what the hell sure anyway I’m going to sell my soul to this fuck ass purple thing. Go ahead and get ur dick wet talis I’m going to outlive this planet
#like he is not even crazy that’s just normal behavior#I don’t wanna die like that either sorry I went a little cray cray to stay ALIVE#jayvik#jayce talis#arcane#jayce x viktor#jayce arcane#arcane viktor#arcane herald
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
day 4 of drawing one of the cod characters until I’m comfortable with trying to find my style
Hehe. Boyfriends
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#gary roach sanderson#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#its his hoodie yall#It’s Simon’s hoodie#Because they’re boyfriends#Happy and alive and WELL#cod fanart#cod roach#cod soap#cod ghost#Ghostsoaproach#’22 version anyways#BECAUSE YES ROACH EXISTS TO ME IN THE PRESENT 😭😭#JUSTICE FOR MY BOI 😭😭😭#Ugh I don’t wanna tag everything so here y’all go 😭🙏#Won’t be home for another few hours so may as well post now#pet’s art
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about how while we all make the “doomed by the narrative” jokes about tony, it’s so much worse than that. the narrative tries so so hard to save him multiple times throughout the novella and yet his tunnel vision with the ggy mystery always leads him to doom himself
#i mean even greg leaves him alive soooo much longer than he probably should’ve#he was watching him collect all that info and yet?#he only decided to eliminate him once tony wrote a FUCKING PAPER DETAILING HIS CRIMES#like baby he literally didn’t even wanna kill your ass. you just made yourself such a threat that i don’t know what you expected#we too tony pilled today so we’re thinking too hard i guess#none of this is said with malice towards the character btw i love you tony becker#you are so me#fe rambles#five nights at freddy’s#tony becker
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.
and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.
#let free the curse of taekwondo#oh I am so BACK#not to get too personal but god#i have been so tired bc of work#i have literally done so many long days and been so busy and so stressed#and I haven’t vibed with a bl for so long I mean I hear the sunspot was all I cared about for a bit#and im watching jack and joker now but I didn’t know if I had fallen out of love with bl#but what I think it is is i just needed something to really get my teeth into#fluff and silly fun is good I won’t ever knock it I love it I watch it#but when I have so little time I just feel myself getting impatient watching it sometimes bc I can’t sink my teeth into it#like I won’t be at work vibrating bc I know when I get home I’ll get to watch the next episode#this is what I needed#like this makes me feel alive like all my passion is invigorated again and I just feel the rants coming#and that just makes me so happy I can’t even say#I don’t wanna get emo but this show already makes me emo so#I just love being here#I love it
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
HI GUYS IM ALIVE AND BACK WITH A NEW ARGOS DESIGN💥💥💥💥

#the world of mr plant#twomp#world of mr plant#twomrp#the world of mr plant fanart#twomp fanart#world of mr plant fanart#ashur gharavi#ashur gharavi fanart#argos twomp#IM ALIVE#I FORGOT ABOUT TUMBLR#ALOLOGIES IVE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND OTHER FIXATIONS AND STUFF#probably gonna update mr plants design#not that I don’t like their old designs but I wanna make ‘em better#took me 3 and a half hours to make this one#really hope mr plant doesn’t take as long#drawings are probably gonna be really slow because I’ve got like 2 other fixations right now and school#ANYWAYS TWOMP FANDOM THOUGHTS ON MR PLANT PLUSH‼️‼️‼️
192 notes
·
View notes
Text

Nathalie / Emilie / Gabriel. do you see my vision
#on the subject of the last one: Gabriel turning from#Gabi to Gabriel to various terrorist aliases#gabi latching on to Emilie’s wealth and influence#I am reminded of nemali’s pygmalion thoughts#who is changing who….. I can imagine Emilie getting. bored. what a predictable move#she was surrounded by men like that all her life#Gabriel to HM because she died ofc#idolatry…….. dependency…..#anyway. you don’t even wanna KNOW how I’ve twisted the first chorus of this song for eminath#Asukies ramble#I am reminded. of. jimmy to Saul pipeline.#Nathalie obviously makes it out alive but. at what cost. I could think abt that forever
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
aaaaaa I don’t want to fly home to cold Denmark
#personal#I’m leaving Rome today#I don’t wanna. I really love it here#I’m already low key planning my next trip to Italy because I have the end of vacation blues#people just seem so alive here. I love Scandinavia and I’d never trade my home for anything but we are a grumpy bunch who keep to themselves
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
sang woo KILL YOURSELF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ali …. my shayla……
#thoughts on squid game so far: well like i said before i assume everyone dies except for player 456.. and because i know he’s alive and#makes it to season 2 i assume all the police investigation is pointless.. he either gets caught and killed or joins his brother lol#sooooo the whole episode where they killed the doc and were looking for number 29 was kinda wack. i really don’t care about the guards and#the big boss i wanna see more about the players and the games!!!#but i understand they can’t just do them all cause otherwise it would end super quickly lol#anyway. ep 6 was great it was so stressful but i loved it i knew right away that ali would die#ji yeong and the other girl 😔 i recognized that scene from fanarts hashtag brainrot#and again player 001 and player 456 ohhh my heart i loved their friendship throughout the season it was so pure :( the old man was lowkey#shady but aw. Aw 😣 i’ll continue watching tomorrow can’t wait to meet thanos in season 2#effie talks to the moon
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Where’s that immortality pill so I can not deal with my mortality anxiety creeping up on me on an almost nightly basis??
#i just don’t wanna die#too much shit I love about being alive#plus not believing in an afterlife makes the concept really fucking terrifying
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okey I did not survive school this past 2 weeks
#you have no idea how much I hate school#oh hey guys I’m alive#yeah I wasn’t planning on dissapearinf after dissapearing last time#again#but I had too#I wasn’t really doing okay with school and it sorta brought me a lot of anxiety I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling#I swear I don’t do it on purpose because i love this app#I felt so disconnected with the fandom omg I just wanna be back again#so much vent bc this is still my safe place 😭
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
calling dentist in the morning to see if they’ll see me sooner i’m sick of being in real bring me to tears scream aloud pain for hours at a time with no relief
#fray.txt#painkillers have officially stopped being helpful#and now so much as touching my face is causing pain#it’s really just unbearable#told my dad i don’t wanna be alive anymore lol
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m genuinely so terrified of living in the us right now. Like I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified. I want to live and stay alive but I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to survive these next four years and that scares me. I don’t know what to do
#The pit of fear that opens in my stomach when I think about this#I’m not religious but I pray something happens that makes it so trump can’t be president#Whether it’s cause he’s a convicted felon or because he was impeached twice and it happens again#Or he dies from old age or something or the evidence of him cheating in the election prevents him from being president#I don’t know man#im scared and I don’t know what to do#I don’t know if I’ll be alive four years from now and that scares me cuz I don’t wanna die#Anyways sorry for rambling/venting or whatever you wanna call this#smolldust#smolldust rambles#Vent#politics#us politics#us election#I feel stupid for being this scared because others are going through so much worse so I should prolly just shut up
10 notes
·
View notes