#and im watching jack and joker now but I didn’t know if I had fallen out of love with bl

[jemmo]

i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.

and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.

[vechkinfan]

Jack

A/n: I found this little one shot while I was looking through the deep dark depths of my google docs the other day and figured I might as well share it. Its a young Joker fic, and my fist time writing for the joker so please take it easy on me!😁

Pairing: Joker x OFC

Summary: A brief glimpse into the Jokers past, memories that he would rather keep buried, memories that reminded him of someone that held his heart. A heart that now burned for Gotham's reckoning.

Warnings: Talks of abuse, swearing, angst, vague talk of death

Jack found himself climbing the dirty, half rotten stairs of his apartment building. The light bulbs on every other floor, blown out or stolen, casting a darkness over him as he made his way up. 

His mother had one of her 'friends' as she liked to call them, over. So he made himself scarce for the afternoon, like he always managed to. Jack weaseled his way out of the apartment when those creeps were over. Especially the ones who would come right in and give him those looks. Those perverted sideways eyes when his mother was too plastered to notice any different. Looks that sent a piercing shiver across his whole body, and an uneasiness to settle in his gut.  He much preferred the men who would come over and pretended like he didn't exist. 

The sun had long since started to sink in the sky  as he climbed the stairs towards home and Jack knew he had to make it before the streetlights in the narrows started to flicker. The evil in his apartment was one thing, but the evils that lurched about once all the sunlight was extinguished in the sky was much more frightening. 

Rounding the last flight of stairs, his eyes landed on a girl  sitting at the top of them. Her back pressed against the door jam of the closest apartment door.  One foot stretched out in front of her blocking his path and the other bent, shaking vigorously on the next step down. 

She was sucking on a red popsicle, as her fingers drummed against the skin of her knee that poked free from a hole in her ratty jeans. 

Jack knew she just moved in a few months back, but he never crossed paths with her before now. However every time he opened the door to let in one of his mothers 'friends', she would be sitting at the top of those stairs. Usually a pack of playing cards in her hands, flicking them one by one, aimlessly down to the next landing. 

"What flavor is that?" Jack asked, curious at what her voice would sound like. He'd been intrigued by her presence the moment he saw her all those weeks ago. 

Pulling the half melted popsicle from her mouth, the girl turned her head slightly to gaze towards him. Her dark brown hair in a curly mess that covered half of her face, but not enough for Jack to miss the darkness of her left eye. It almost appeared black, the deep brown of her iris engulfing her pupil, giving her a truly ominous appearance. 

"Cherry." She answered, her voice nothing what he expected. It held a delicate raspiness, nowhere near the point where it matched Ms. Emerson two floors up who had been smoking 3 packs a day since the depression. There was a softness to it though, one that made Jack want to hear more from her.  "You live in the apartment cross from me don't you?" 

Nodding his head, Jack shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Sure do." 

She sat in silence after that, and he stood a few stairs below quietly staring at her. His feet shuffling against the creaky old floor board, wondering if this would be the end of their talk. Perhaps it'd be the last time they spoke at all. Jack knew the Narrows had people shuffling around from place to place, like one of them scam shell games. She very well could be gone by morning. 

 "I can bring you one next time…. If you want?" Swinging her leg around, she sat so she was facing him. Both feet planted one step down as she licked the red sugary liquid that was starting to drip down the wooden popsicle stick and onto the top of her hand. 

"I got two left in the freezer." Her voice was soft and held a nervousness that made fighting off a sly grin for Jack very difficult.  

"Yeah, I'd like that." Hustling up the stairs, Jack found himself sitting down beside her. 

His eyes getting a better glance at the girl, in the low light of the stairwell. Now he could tell she was using her hair to hide the right side of her face. Her right eye was an awful shade of purple, and the lid swollen so badly Jack knew she must be having a hard time seeing. 

As he let his eyes pan across her face, he noticed her lip that was stained with cherry popsicle was also busted open. The girl next to him seemed to have come from a similar home as himself. It was near luck that Jack hadn't gotten his ass handed to him by one of his mother friends in a while. Talking back was a habit that he couldn't quit no matter how much he was beaten for it. Not to mention the fit of laughter that usually escaped his thin lips as a belt or a fist swung in his direction didn't help either. 

"You got a name?" He asked, finally dragging his eyes back to meet her dark gaze. 

"Billy." 

Furrowing his brow and giving his head a subtle tilt, he wondered if she was fucking with him.

"That's a boy's name." He puffed out a small laugh. However the girl beside him didn't react at all. 

"I know, you don't gotta remind me." She shrugged her shoulders, before finishing off the popsicle and throwing the wood stick down the stairs. 

"It's  your nickname right?" Jack couldn't quite stop himself with the questions. Usually he kept to himself and avoided people, but she…  there was just something  different about her. Something that drew Jack in like a moth to a flame. 

He knew his interest was purely the result of her moving directly across the hall and appearing to be close to his age, if she had moved three flights up and was a little frilly girl, Jack was sure he wouldn't have even batted an eyelash in her direction as he carried on home. 

Shaking her head and rolling her eye, she was the one to laugh now. "No, my momma lost her first baby, who was a boy when he was real little. She ain't been right in the head since." Jack watched as she picked at the frayed edge of the side pocket of her faded army green vest while she spoke. "So when she found out she was having me, she just knew I was a boy. The doctors told her different, but she didn't really care what they thought. So she named me Billy." 

Shoving her hands into her vest pockets now, she quickly pulled out her deck of cards and began to shuffle them absentmindedly. 

"Billy's not a bad name, I mean there was Billy the kid that robbed banks in the old west right? Like some badass cowboy outlaw… Maybe one day I could live up to that name." Jack's eyes watched as she expertly flipped the cards against themselves, the loud noise filling the hallway. 

"Hate to break it to you, Billy the kid never robbed banks. He's just known for murdering people."

Peering up at him from the corner of her eye, her posture deflated, "Oh…." Billy sighed. 

They sat there in silence after that, Jack feeling some form of regret telling her about Billy the kid. The girl had seemed thrilled in her blissful unawareness, so happy with only a shared name that connected the two. Which was utterly ridiculous, and in any other circumstance Jack would have enjoyed watching the girls dreams come crashing down from the clouds. However it was like a small light had been snuffed inside of her and Jack hated that he caused that. Which blew his mind, cause why would he care about some girl he just met and her no good thoughts. She'd be gone in a few weeks, out of his life for good! The narrows would swallow her up just like it did the other kids, and he really shouldn't have cared. But he did on some level, and it fucking bothered him. 

"Billy where the fuck you at, you little piece of shit?" An angry voice screamed from just beyond the door she had been leaning against. The abruptness caused the girl to flinch and drop the stack of cards she was holding. 

They fell like dominos down the stairs, fluttering off in all sorts of directions. Making a fucking mess. 

Jack watched as she threw herself off the steps and down the stairs chasing after all the playing cards. "Fuck I'm gonna be in so much trouble." She muttered to herself as she frantically began the daunting task. 

Without much thought, Jack did something that surprised himself again. He stood up and grabbed a few of the cards that had fallen towards the top of the stairs. Bunching them together in his hand, before looking down at the Ace of hearts that was face up. The corner dog-eared like a well read book, from constant use probably. 

"I said where the fuck you at girl." A man ripped the door open to her apartment, and stumbled out. The stench of bad tequila filling the air almost immediately.

"I-im I'm sorry I…" Billy stuttered out as she crawled on the ground grabbing the last of the cards.  Her hands trembled bad enough that Jack could tell from where he stood that she was terrified. 

Eyeing the man cautiously, Jack saw him take a step closer to the edge of the stairs. His arm raised slightly, fingers twitching, ready to strike her hard when she finally made her way back to him. 

"Sorry, I tripped into Billy while I was coming down the steps. Made her drop her cards." Jack lied with a laugh, and held up the few in his hands. "I was just helping her pick them up." 

The drunken slob of a man, took a steadying breath, probably knowing he couldn't pummel a kid that wasn't his own. The man's overtly round face, covered in a patchy beard and a badly trimmed mustache that had the remnants of cheese puffs littered throughout it, gave Jack a nasty look. His lip turned up in pure disgust. 

"Yeah well watch where you fucking walk next time." He flicked his hand at Jack, and then turned his attention to Billy. Who was now standing up straight at the bottom of the landing, cards in hand. "You, " He pointed at her with a chubby accusatory finger, "pick up your goddamn mess and get in the house, and don't make me fucking tell you again." 

Jack watched as the man turned ungracefully on his heel and stumbled back from the pit in which he came. Slamming the door behind him with such power, some of the cracked plaster on the ceiling fell to the floor.

"You didn't have to lie." 

"I know." He heard her take a few hesitant steps up, until she was standing side by side with himself. "I ain't in the mood to watch an ass kicking at the moment." He couldn't stop the tiny laugh that escaped him at his own humorless joke. 

Tilting his head towards Billy, he finally held out the few cards that he managed to collect. She greedily took them back into her possession, and Jack watched as the girl seemed to be counting them to herself. Her fingers flipping past each number making sure they were all accounted for. 

"Thank you." Her voice was softer than anything Jack had ever heard as she finished what she was doing and tucked the cards back into her vest pocket. 

"He hit you a lot?" Jack asked aloud, as the girl pushed past him and towards her apartment door. 

Shrugging her shoulders, Billy nodded her head. "Not as much as my real dad did, so I'm lucky enough. I know some kids got it worse than me, so I'm not complaining."

"Lucky?" He quirked a brow at her choice of words. Luck was nowhere to be seen in the Narrows, especially not in that girls apartment. 

Perhaps the girl had been struck in the head so many times it actually made her dense. It wouldn't be a surprise to him if that was the case, because no one, and he meant no one, would ever call themselves lucky with the life she seemingly led. 

"You got to believe in something, right?" She smirked. "Luck seems more plausible than some god or a superhero saving me. Plus I got this." Reaching back into her pocket the girl drew out a single card, and quickly flicked it over to him.

Jack caught it and huffed an amused laugh. His eyes falling upon the joker card that belonged to her deck. The jester was skillfully juggling three knives while he balanced with one foot on a large green and purple circus ball. The character itself was off putting, his face painted white, his lips smudged with red paint  that made his maniacal grin even more pronounced. His jester hat constructed out of oddly colored rattlesnakes, multiple wrapped around one another to give its iconic shape. Their rattling tails hung as the bells at the tips. It was clearly far from the typical playing card one could get at the Bodega down the block. 

"It's my lucky card, bad things don't happen as often when I have it on me." 

Jack couldn't help but continue to stare at it. The wheels in his mind spun endlessly with hundreds of questions, but he knew he'd never have time to get them answered. She was on borrowed time as it was, and he didn't want to hold her up further. Cause if he did, the girl probably wouldn't be able to see at all next time he ran into her. The guy inside, smashing her other eye to the point it was swelled shut as well. 

Looking up into her eyes, Jack attempted to hand it back. But Billy just shook her head at him. 

"You keep it, it's the least I can do after you saved my ass. Maybe it will bring you some luck." She smiled at him before turning and opening her apartment door making her exit. 

"If you give me this, won't your luck be gone?" His words stopped her in her tracks. But all Jack could focus on was her soft laughter.

Without turning to face him, she pulled another card free from her pocket, twisting it expertly between two fingers so the face of it was in Jack's direction. An inverted match to the very card that he held in his hands. "There's always two jokers." 

Just as quick as she pulled it free, Billy shoved it back into her pocket, "See you around." She chuckled before disappearing into her apartment. Leaving Jack alone in the stairwell, staring quizzically at the place the girl once was. His lip twitching up in amusement, before he shook his head clear of their encounter. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The joker cracked an eye open as he startled awake. It was a rare occurrence in recent years that his dreams would startle him out of sleep. That was only reserved for a specific time in his life, and that was not now anymore. 

His half sleep blurred vision instantly focused on the ever growing water stain that was spreading across the ceiling tiles. It's dark brownish edges tainting the once white paint, giving the already run down room a greater sense of abandonment. 

His hand stretched out wantingly, his long fingers gripping into the cool sheets of the spot next to him. The spot that had been vacant for many years now. An emptiness that slowly consumed him in absolute sorrow, and then engulfed him in a burning rage, no one could ever put out. 

It was a pain that radiated through the Joker like a poison when his mind traveled to her. Pleading for him to remember, remember a time when things were pleasant. When she was by his side, and in his bed, places he could keep her safe. 

But he couldn't, the day Gotham took her from him was the day its reckoning started. They would all pay, every last one of them.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

I'm Proud Of You || David Anderson ||

Summary: Those four words just kept ringing in her ears and she just wondered why her and not him.

Notes: Father Figure David Anderson x Femshepard [ light Garrus x Shep ] *Happy ending Modd for Mass Effect was in effect*

Staring out the window from the Normandy, watching the stars pass by Shepard continued to wonder why she was alive. She knew she should be dead; she should have gone down with the Citadel…when she destroyed those Reapers yet here she was alive. With a broken, burned arm leaning on a cane, the only reason why she knew she was even standing here was thanks to her crew and Joker for even going back.

When Brooke first woke she didn’t know where she was, the room was a blur and her body was protesting her moving from that damn reaper blast. She heard an accent first, followed by more voices and it wasn’t until she finally realized she was in what you would call a hospital room. Dr Chakwas and Michels where hovering over her frail body.

“Thank goodness she’s awake” That was Chakwas, the woman always worried over her. She then heard the voice over Joker, trying to mask the pain in his voice with a joke.

“Told you Doc. It takes a lot more than getting hit with a Reaper beam for our Commander to die” Though she knew he was worried, slowly turning her head she spotted her whole crew in the tiny room, she figured she must be somewhere in London since she spotted the Normandy, streaked with marks from the broken window.

She noticed Steven Hackett first, he had a bitter smile on his face though he looked tired but the man seemed happy she was alive. Shepard then let her gaze glance over to where Kaiden, James and Jacob where standing in the back silently. Liara was comforting a crying Samantha though she knew her friend was crying too. Wincing, she held back a gasp to push herself up as she waved the doctors off. “Im fine” she muttered but that was a lie.

Brooke then noticed Zeed and Samera as they were in the far back, she could have sworn the man held a concerned look in his face but that could have been the light, she knew Jack wanted to tell her off, scream at her for doing something so stupid since she was the first to walk over to her.

“You owe me Shep, shit you scared the crap out of me.” Jack whispered in her ear though she then left the room muttering about checking on her students.

The final pair she noticed was of course Joker, the man just hung his head low as EDI held his hand. Tali standing on his other side and Shepard felt a pain in her heart, since she knew her best friend was hurt because of her though feeling her heart clench she was going to ask where he was but hearing that familiar chuckle she turned he heard to see Garrus sitting by her side.

“I’m hard to kill.”

Sighing the woman let her body relax for a moment until she felt realization hit her, gasping her eyes scanned the room and missing was someone who she wanted to see more than anything. Anderson, where was he…h-he was with her, she remembered him being by her side.

“W-Where’s Anderson…I remember…” Brooke closed her eyes, she remembered him telling her that he made her proud, then that’s it.

“He’s in another room right? He’s fine” her voice sounded so weak, so dry though finally opening her eyes she didn’t understand why everything was blurry…why they were all silent.

That was when she knew, she was crying and David Anderson was not in the next room, he was not fine but he was dead and its hurt fault.

“Oh god” Chocking on a sob, her body started to shake as she heard Grunt scream something to the Chakwas, screaming about helping her.

Shepard didn’t even notice that she tried to sit up, she didn’t care about opening wounds up. “I need to…please he can’t be.” Feeling her body wrack with guilt she turned away from her team, her friends and the man she loved. She didn’t want them to see her like this, so broken and now she wished that she died on the Citadel, then at least she wouldn’t have to live with the guilt.

Garrus looked at the team though he didn’t have to say anything, they all slowly left until he was the only one. The turian slowly reached up and brushed the short blonde hair away from her bruised and cut face. He felt more tears it the talons, but seeing your steady breathing he knew you’d fallen asleep.

“You of all people deserve to be happy, don’t dwell on Anderson death. He would not want you to cry over him.”

Leaning over, Garrus placed a gentle kiss to your head as he then sat down holding your hand gently. He won’t leave your side.

“I’m Proud of you”

Shepard looked around, she looked down seeing her body was not broken anymore so that was when she knew it, she was in a nightmare and god’s. She prayed she wouldn’t see him, her dreams were already plagued with the deaths of Mordin, Thane and Ash, she didn’t think she could handle hearing Anderson too.

Though as she walked she noticed everything felt peaceful, the air felt light and it was beautiful. Looking around she noticed a bench followed by someone sitting on it. It did not take her long though seeing who it was her heart clenched, she was now looking at David Anderson and he had a smile on his face.

“How can you be smiling” It felt like a whisper as it slipped from her lips though the man chuckled shifting his body as she sat down next to him.

“Why shouldn’t I be, the Reapers a dead…you did it Shepard. You saved humanity.” Anderson looked out on the horizon.

“That’s a lie…so many people…I couldn’t. You died because of me” Shepard started to feel herself break down again.

“Now that is a damn good lie and you know it Shepard. There was a good chance that I wouldn’t be making this out alive. But you did! I’m Proud of you Shepard and I am happy I was here for you.” The man reached over and grasped her hand.

“Though I hate I won’t be walking this stubborn woman down the aisle.”

Feeling her tears slide down her cheeks, Brooke felt her lips twitch into a smile though she then laughed. “I’m stubborn…you…” shaking her head she felt him grip her hand.

“So you and Garrus huh?”

“Me and Garrus.”

“I always thought he was a good match for you Shepard…now do me a favor and stop mourning me. You have an Earth to rebuild. A lot of people are looking up to the woman you managed to survive a Reaper blast and take them all down…now live your life, be happy for once, you deserve it”

“I had help…but I will…thank you Sir”

Shepard did take his word to heart, after she was well enough to leave the hospital she started to help Earth, though she knew it would take a lot more to rebuild and now here she was. Standing on the Normandy in her dress blues looking out at the stars. Putting her weight on the cane she felt a body slip behind her, a familiar hand slip and place its self on the small of her back.

“Beautiful isn’t it…and the stars aren’t half bad either” Garrus chuckled though he pressed his mandibles to her head.

“He would be proud of you Shepard, you’ve done good.”

Nodding her head, the young woman smiled, she could see Anderson's own smile on his face repeating those same words.

“I’m Proud of You Shepard.”