#im scared and I don’t know what to do | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

smolldust · 5 days ago

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I’m genuinely so terrified of living in the us right now. Like I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified. I want to live and stay alive but I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to survive these next four years and that scares me. I don’t know what to do

#The pit of fear that opens in my stomach when I think about this #I’m not religious but I pray something happens that makes it so trump can’t be president #Whether it’s cause he’s a convicted felon or because he was impeached twice and it happens again #Or he dies from old age or something or the evidence of him cheating in the election prevents him from being president #I don’t know man #im scared and I don’t know what to do #I don’t know if I’ll be alive four years from now and that scares me cuz I don’t wanna die #Anyways sorry for rambling/venting or whatever you wanna call this #smolldust #smolldust rambles #Vent #politics #us politics #us election #I feel stupid for being this scared because others are going through so much worse so I should prolly just shut up

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sea-jello · 1 month ago

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GRAHH REDRAW JUMPSCARE

@/marsipain's cyberpunk ninjago au!!! im sure we all know it okay time to yap if any morro enjoyers remember alll the way back in january 2023 i did something for this au and i think around a couple months ago i was like yk what ill do it again. cause the one back then really was not the vision like i tried my best but i just did not have the skill

LOOK AT THIS??? i did end up ditching the mic but i kept the stickers at least. not sure how i feel about them but they were too iconic to scrap. also the perspective kind of wasnt working out for me i didnt really get the fisheye look i was aiming for but we ball. i actually started the whole thing end of AUGUST and then i completely revamped it look at what i had before

its a vibe lowkey i like it but unfortunately it was again. not the vision wasn’t dramatic enough. i redid it last sunday and worked on it nonstop for days what was i on

PROCESS

#obligatory morro enjoyers do you rember. im back happy morrotober #what a year and 9 months does to a mf #hii marsipain how are you doing #your designs are still banger even after all this time #almost 2 whole years #im scared to tag if they see it they see it #this is a for me kind of thing anyways i just wanted to redraw and see how it would look #WE ACHIEVED THE VISION 🗣🗣 SOMEWHAT #didnt really know what to do with the background #at first i was gonna have the giant morro sort of like a projector light and it was gonna shine on top of his face #but then i couldn’t figure it out so i scrapped it #also the way i did his collar slash sleeves i realized too late his sleeves would have to be like detachable but whatever #o i just found it i spent 17 hours on this what #it felt a lot less than that #i just watched the timelapse my first couple tries are actually embarrassing #don’t let the first second and third draft discourage you guys #ninjago #lego ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #morro wu #ninjago cyberpunk au #jellos scribbles #yyippee

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bugisbonkerz · 10 months ago

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i think it’s funny he has a tie of himself

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rowanisawriter · 9 days ago

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going through all the stages of grief today lmao!! whatever im gonna play video game now!!

#im very very very nervous i feel like my stomach is about to fly out of my mouth #oh my god lollllllllllll #what will i do if he wins LMAO!! i have a 4 year old daughter lol she can’t grow up in this bull shit!!!!!#i gotta get out of here LMAO!!!!!!!!#im gonna be sick #i took the day off knowing i would be useless today also off tomorrow #help!! also i think my period is coming which is. amazing timing lol i am already on the brink of death #why not!! haha!! sure why not!!!!!!#i need to read thanzag IMMEDIATELY I need to be healed #this is so bad……#im scared oh god….#i hate how little control we have over our own lives #here we are on the brink of maybe our last election lol like no exaggeration do you think if they win they will let us vote again #im just glad I don’t live near dc anymore it was scary last time #omg…#I think I will be offline today if you see posts it’s just the queue

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edwinisms · 4 months ago

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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it #cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible #I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder #because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and #open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running #but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship #if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here #I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him #as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew #each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he #did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel #he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early #whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the #tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to #want to be with him and protect him and so on #but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think #but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is #down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as #he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him #to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc #that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a #fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul #idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super #strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH #payneland #dead boy detectives #rambling #polls

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dentalcaring · 2 months ago

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vent. sorry i’m honesty hangry and upset

actually i’m still annoyed. has anyone in this damn fandom heard of filtering tags. for shit. they don’t like

also like not to be ‘what about’ but seriously if your biggest problems are fucking shipping wars on tumblr dot com i envy you. truly.

#misc: personal text #also not to Make It Like That but like #a lot of the people i know who like making art about the legion and/or caecade and vulcade #are people of color as well. like do y’all not hear yourselves. asking racially marginalized people who have historically experienced #slavery/forced cultural assimilation #and a host of other issues #if they LIKE SLAVERY and APPROVE of it IN REAL LIFE #fiction can inform reality yes but truly? it is not that deep. some people like dark themes in fiction. be okay with it #i’m indigenous. much of the legion’s narrative is specifically anti-indigenous. i am *literally the product of genocide*#i still enjoy exploring stories with it. because i can choose to like things. or not like them.#some people like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction. that does not mean they approve of it.#and DO NOT come at me saying ‘wuh wuh wuh well that means you approve of csam and you’re a pro shipper’ or whatever the fuck people are #saying now. because that is NOT what i’m saying and it is not the same. and you damn well know that.#a piece of creative work does not have to always make you comfortable. i like exploring morally challenging narratives. i like nuance.#i like grey areas in my fiction.#does that mean i condone that irl? hell no #because i know what im about. i know my values. and they’re not necessarily reflected in my storytelling or art #personally i think that exploring horror and toxicity in fiction is a good way to build reading comprehension (once you’ve ‘built’#the thinking muscles for it).#honestly i’m just so so so so tired of this moral scare around always Liking The Right Things #and if you like the Wrong Things and Wrong Media that makes you Bad.#it’s fucking dumb #learn to filter out the shit you don’t like. you are allowed to not like things.

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itsalwaysforyou · 7 months ago

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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried #man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN #<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc #but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment #coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him #the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team #train them and critique them and lead them to victory #and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team #but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask #coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy #like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team #& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM #it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint #but also character wise for jay #like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay #oh it makes me crazy #damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things #im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2 #I AM UNWELL #anyway. jesus christ #descendants #jay son of jafar #EDIT i’m not finished actually #do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle #but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right

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raddestrose · 2 months ago

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FREAKING OUT,

last night I was simply too busy to read the new bsd, and technically I am today as well. But we’re going to find a way.

ANYTHING for heartbreak

#Im so scared #this will be the end of me #if something even worse happens #yo I don’t know what I’m going to do #ahh im terrified #bungo stray dogs #bsd chapter 118 #bsd 118 #bsd

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theguardianace · 7 months ago

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it should be illegal to feel like this on your birthday

#i really loved my morning i got such nice gifts from my mom #and it was nice to just have a morning off #but that was honestly the worst class i’ve ever been in #i was trying to talk to my professor but my voice sounded so off #i’m so stressed bc i’m so behind i don’t know what to do it’s not clear at ALL #i think he’s assuming everyone’s done something like this but it’s not true!! i’m a sophomore and everyone else is a junior or senior #and i was trying to hard not to break down and i think i made it #but now i’m in my room and i need everyone to shut up #i want to take a shower to calm down but i can’t bc my roomate is here and she knows i already took one today #and i don’t like that i’m 20 i’m scared of growing up #and im homesick im always homesick in the back of my heart #i just want a hug honestly

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alaskan-wallflower · 11 days ago

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i’m so pissed off at my older brother and i know i shouldn’t be

#we got into another fight #because his bf said smth about him having to be carried out on a stretcher because of alcohol #and i’m not a prude-i’m not one of those ppl who is gonna tell you what to do #but it scares the fuck out of me when he tells me about how much he’s drinking and stuff #i fucking watched a kid almost die of alcohol poisoning in my lawn (and i’ve done stupid shit too with him and regretted it)#i’m so fucking scared of that happening #and i won’t be there #he smokes now too apparently because my parents are tense #it just scares the shit out of me #because i don’t know what’s going to happen and im tired of tearing our relationship because of this #vent #tw alcohol

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toddtakefive · 5 months ago

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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage

#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go #its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf #literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started #the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people #he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie #which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID #he was just scared #and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful #but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to #if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude #and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH #‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there #WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT #its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be #he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more #and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person #like yall PLEASE #this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic #i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME #dps #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson

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boxwinebaddie · 1 month ago

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hard work being a single Motha

#nina speaks #keep my boys on me at all times #like a GLOCK #sorry guys hard work raising two beautiful boys #and this hideous tumor in my head #slay!#god i love when the pinterest is updated tho #i lied no the fuck it’s not nina lmao #but that shit takes me hours so im taking a break #when im depressed i just sit in the jk and rs boards #and sigh deeply and twirl my hair #kings truly also mechanic stan wheeeew #love u rural colorado normie lumberjacked probably autistic KING #whoever asked me abt ikes friend group #hold on boss i gotta get my NOTES out #yes i am insane #also i do look kind of insane #but tfw so much happened to ur body #and face that u can…no longer look at urself in the mirror #i had a stannic attack and had to do my makeup out of the corner of my eye #but u know self care jump scare same difference yeah #i hate being ILL i want to answer october spooky time asks #here’s to hoping #here’s to coping #also the college moodboards don’t talk to me like THEYRE HAPPY???#JK WEARING COLORS?? FOR THE CHILDREN??? ;-;;#RAVENSTANS LIL READING GLASSES #tfw u clown ur sbf everyday and call him cuatros ojos and he realizes uve never been to an optometrist #and u keep squinting at things when u read them but not in a dyslexic way #in a those letters are blurry and idk what they are but that’s normal right everyone’s letters look like that HUH??? HUUUH NO BABY

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bugisbonkerz · 6 months ago

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what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time

#maybe i’m just saying BULLSHIT and i might delete later but. idk. just thought i’d say.#tell me what you think of this maybeee..#i randomly pulled this outta my ass so if it’s inaccurate to him i apologize to the more knowledgeable duck lovers #i do know it’s just a joke and it’s just making fun of him not knowing wtf he’s talking about . thinking death is some kind of award #but i think too hard sometimes #yeah. actually idk about what i wrote.#ANYWAY UMMM #another things that’s definitely not tru but what if in dhmis 5 duck actually expected to die but things were going wrong and it scared him #like oh nooo what if i never see this yellow dude again and that other tall one i can’t remember :(((#anyway you guys are wayyyyy better at analysis than me. but i almost never do it so bear with me while im learning #dhmis #☎️#don’t hug me i’m scared #duck #duck guy #duck dhmis #TRYING TO PUSH THE POST BUTTON IM SCARED

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james-spooky · 1 month ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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frizzle-mcshizzle · 3 months ago

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this is actually worse than when i was witch hunted, im not even sure im gonna be able to participate in keeptober, i have no idea how far these rumors have gone and if the host believes them

#like my friends still love me #and ill have them #thats not what im scared of this time #its just like #i would never do any of that?#and yet #im being blocked over it.#i thought #i thought people knew i wasn’t a bully #im not apologizing for growing a semblance of a spine #im just frustrated because now everyone thinks im #like #some evil bitch #i want to be able to participate in fandom events #and i don’t know how many ill be allowed to even join

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macbcth · 11 months ago

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my grandma won’t stop commenting on my SH scars and i kind of froze bc i didn’t realise my mum hadn’t prepared her or anything?? or talked abt my depression at all?? so my mom said they were cat scratches— just a blatant god awful lie In Front of me— and now my grandma won’t stop asking questions abt it like oh what cat! and when will they go away? and i think im going to have to sit my very Indian grandma down and explain depression and self harm to her in my broken hindi and i’m dreading it so bad

#i hate that i have to do this but im sick of her asking questions #and my mum is just going to keep lying bc ik she’s really ashamed of my SH scars #so i can’t count on my mum for support #im going to literally have to be so so brave yall im so scared #but you know what they say do it scared #hopefully she won’t make it a big deal #im just not going to talk to her if she does like lowkey i don’t need another judgemental adult in my life #aisha.txt #self harm cw

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