#i don’t think he hated being called evan

[whatwouldeddiedo]

i do think buck wants someone to see *evan*. i think that’s why it hit so hard and kind of drove the ending home when tommy called him buck. i think it’s very much deeper than just ‘his birth name’ versus ‘the nickname he chose’. i think he very much wants someone to see past the buck who is a firefighter and has spent years defining himself by a job and that’s why tommy calling him evan was so special and important. because i think he wants to believe that evan - the scared kid who felt unloved and who was always getting abandoned - deserves love. evan isn’t his deadname or his name he hates - it’s the kid he’s always been, with the damage and the pain and then yearning for someone to just want him and love him despite all of his flaws.

that’s why the because, evan of it all was so powerful. because in that moment eddie wasn’t talking to buck - he was talking to evan, a scared kid who feels replaceable and unimportant.

idk it’s so weird to me when people ignore the fact that at the end of the day evan is the kid underneath the layers and layers of defense mechanisms and years of hurt and abandonment and emotional neglect -

tommy called him evan and i think that made buck feel like tommy saw him - the hidden parts and the ugly parts and the parts that he’s always felt like no one could want or accept because no one loved him until he was buck. i think buck wants someone to accept evan and love evan and heal evan, and he thought he had that in tommy.

and i think losing tommy is going to really knock him back and its going to be really interesting to see.

could eddie be the person? i definitely think eddie sees buck for all the things he is and loves and accepts him anyway. i think if the writers went there it’d still be a beautiful story but who knows. regardless eddie is always going to be a person who sees buck for his flaws and his damage and loves him anyway.

i also think buck wants that in a romantic partner and whether or not that’s eddie? who knows.

[oh-phoenixx]

"Baby" - Jegulus microfic @into-the-jeggyverse - 396 words

-

Pet names, in Regulus’s opinion, were gross. Every time he heard his brother’s boyfriend call him ‘sweetheart’, he wanted to vomit. He had to leave the room whenever Evan and Barty were flirting because they did nothing but use disgusting pet names. 

James, on the other hand, loved pet names. He would call Regulus every pet name under the sun, not minding that Regulus only called him ‘James’ or ‘Jamie’ in return. Coming from anyone else, Regulus would have hated this. He would have been put off the entire relationship, really. 

“Morning, love,” James greeted with a grin, kissing Regulus’s head and then sitting down next to him. 

It only took two seconds for Barty to clock this and burst out laughing. “Sorry, did he just call you ‘love’?”

“Yes? What about it?” Regulus responded through gritted teeth and a glare. 

“Nothing, nothing, Mr. Pet-names-are-gross-and-I’ll-never-let-anyone-use-them-for-me,” Barty laughed.

James turned to Regulus, eyebrows furrowed and bottom lip jutting out. “You don’t like it when I call you ‘love’?”

“I-” Regulus looked between James and Barty, trying to decide if reassuring James was worth his humiliation. “It’s fine when it’s you,” he mumbled, hoping Barty couldn’t hear. 

James’s pout turned into a huge grin. He kissed Regulus’s jaw and nuzzled into his neck. And, yes, Regulus believed it was worth reassuring James, even though Barty was most definitely going to mock him for this later. 

Despite being okay with James calling him silly names (‘okay with’ is an understatement, to be honest), Regulus refused to do the same. He was Regulus Black, for Merlin’s sake. James was a perfectly acceptable name, and it was pushing it for Regulus to even call him ‘Jamie’. This is why it was a shock to both of them when, one morning:

“Baby, come back to bed,” Regulus whined tiredly.

James’s brain seemed to short-circuit for a moment, spinning around rapidly to look at Regulus. 

Regulus hid his face in the pillow, repeating, “I didn’t say that, I didn’t say that, I didn’t say that.”

James just tilted Regulus’s face towards his and kissed him, smiling so widely you’d think he’d won the Quidditch cup. This was worth the humiliation, too, Regulus thought, seeing James this happy.

If Regulus let the term slip out every now and then, most especially when he needed something or when James was angry, that could stay between them.

[bucksaiga]

When I feel extremely overstimulated, I take a soft blanket into a dark quiet room and I nap on the floor. So I was thinking about Autistic Tommy who never lets himself unmask, even at home and Buck finding a way to get him to unmask and not be so grumpy.

Tommy plops down on the couch and grips the remote by Buck’s side, turning down the TV without a warning.

Buck turns to Tommy, wondering why the TV is on bedtime volume (3) at 4PM.

“Hey wh—why’d you do that? I can’t hear the video.”

“Just put the captions on.” Tommy snaps, nose wrinkled at the TV.

“J—“ Buck relents with a sigh. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, Evan. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I-I couldn’t even finish the dishes. I know it’s my night but…the sound of the water was irritating me and the soap felt like it was drying my hands up, and the feeling of wet food pieces.” Tommy scoffed. “I hate that.”

“It’s okay, babe.” Buck reassures. “You tired?”

“A bit, yeah. I’m just so irritated. I don’t know what’s going on with me. The sound of everything is pissing me off.” Tommy frowns.

“A nervequake.”

“What?”

“You’re experiencing a nervequake. It’s like an earthquake in your brain. Everything feels more overstimulating than usual, and I know exactly what to do.” Buck jumps up and starts running around the house.

Tommy watches in slight annoyance as Buck zooms through the house, making noise with his every movement.

He turns off the lights and the TV, sets a blanket on the floor, along with a small box, then returns with a drawstring bag.

Buck opens the bag and hands Tommy a pair of noise canceling headphones. “Put these on.”

“I don’t need them. I’ll be okay, Evan. I just need a break.” Tommy resists.

“You need some calming time. Otherwise you’ll be grumpy for the rest of the day.”

“I’m not grumpy.”

“You snapped at me about the TV 5 minutes ago.” Buck reminds him. “I-I got you cake.” Buck smiles.

“Yeah?” Tommy smiles back. “Can I have it?”

“You can have it on the blanket.”

Tommy groans. “Can’t I just eat it here?”

“Nope. C’mon.” Buck nudged. “I brought your favorite blanket out.”

“I don’t have a favorite blanket.” Tommy replies flatly.

“Yeah you do.” Buck argues. “Any time we’re in bed with that blanket, you hog it and snuggle up with it. It’s really cute.”

Tommy lets out an elongated sigh. “If it’s my favorite blanket…then why’d you put it on the floor?”

“You’re being difficult.” Buck pouts. “Just come have some quiet blankie time.”

“Blankie time?” Tommy narrows his eyes. “I’m not a child. I don’t need blankie time.”

“C’mon Tommy. You hardly ever let yourself unmask a-and just…let go. You just close up and you get grumpy when you’re overstimulated. O-or you go to bed upset without even saying goodnight. It’s hard enough that you have to mask at work or whenever we go out. This is supposed to be our safe space.”

“What do you want me to do, Evan? When I feel like this I just feel like punching something or crying or both. That’s why I go practice some Muay Thai or I sleep until the feeling goes away. I hate taking it out on you.”

“But there are other ways, too. Ways we can do it together if you want. We can have soft time. On the blankie.”

“Stop calling it a blankie.” Tommy frowns. “It’s silly.”

“So what if it’s silly? It’s okay to be silly. And soft. And a little childish too. If it makes you feel good. We’re home. It’s just us.”

Tommy smiles again, finally. “Okay. We can have soft time on the blanket.”

“Blankie?”

“Blanket.” Tommy insists. He stands and follows buck to the blanket and they eat their cake in silence.

Tommy puts the headphones on and lays down after finishing his cake.

He pulls Buck on top of him and runs his fingers through his hair.

“I like the way your hair feels. It’s so soft. It makes my fingers tingle.”

“I like the way it feels when you run your fingers through my hair.” Buck mumbles, being slowly lulled to sleep by Tommy’s touch.

Tommy is over the moon. The house is quiet and calm, his stomach is full, he has his beloved Evan’s soft hair in his hand and his warm body pressed against him.

“A-am I crushing you?” Buck worriedly asks.

“Yes.” Tommy replies. “Don’t move.”

“You like the feeling of me crushing you?” Buck huffs out a laugh.

“Mhm.” Tommy hums. “You’re my blankie.”

They both break out into a fit of laughter, eventually falling into an amicable silence.

His hand eventually fell from Buck’s hair and he began to softly snore.

Buck would have gotten up but Tommy had a fistful of the side of Buck’s hoodie.

Buck rolls the other half of the blanket over them and nuzzles into Tommy’s neck, eventually falling asleep in their soft, safe space.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

What Was I Made For? - James Potter

A/N: well, it looks like this keeps on working so... I hope you guys like it!

Anonymous asked: Request for hufflepuff black!reader x James with the prompt "Forget it. Just like you forget everything else." Where reader has never had a fun birthday celebration and usually ignores her birthday but James promises to do something fun for her and gets her hopes up but then stands her up accidentally (with happy ending please). Thanks so much <;33

Warnings: this is super angsty! (and super long) but it has a happy ending; mentions of abuse and overall a not happy family life, reader feels weird for not really knowing how to express her feelings; let me know if I missed anything

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

What Was I Made For?

Think I forgot how to be happy Something I'm not, but something I can be Something I wait for, something I'm made for

12:08 a.m. Your birthday was over. And he didn’t come. Of course, he wouldn’t come. You kept looking at your watch feeling a tiny bit of hope that he would come running any second, apologizing for being late. But, deep down, you knew it wasn’t going to happen. You sighed, running a hand through your hair, and decided to finally leave. You were angry. But not at him. At yourself. You should have known better. You never should have trusted a word he said. Because he treated you as if you were the center of his universe. And you were stupid enough to believe him. Because that’s what James Potter did. He made you feel as if you were the only thing that mattered to him. Damn him and his stupid beautiful smile. The one that got you into this mess…

“You actually want me to believe that you need my help in Potions?” you insisted as he raised his hands in surrender while you pointed your wand at him. “Why are you asking me?”

“B-because you’re top of our class-”

“That’s not true. Severus Snape is” you insisted.

“First of all, I would never ask Snivelly for help” he rolled his eyes. “And secondly, I doubt that’s true since you are a year younger than us and are already taking Advance Potions-”

“So ask Lilly Evans then-?”

“Evans hates me-”

“So do I!”

“Wait, y-you do?” he asked, confused, stepping away from your wand. He sounded genuinely hurt.

“I…” you weren’t able to continue. You never really hated James Potter. You hated him because you were supposed to, weren’t you? “D-don’t you?”

“I don’t hate you” he informed you. “Why would I?”

“Because Sirius does! And you’re his best friend” you told him. James noticed the hurt in your voice and in your look. He knew you missed Sirius.

“Your brother doesn’t hate you” he insisted and you scoffed, looking away and lowering your wand. “He doesn’t!”

“Look, Potter, you don’t have to lie, okay?” you glared at him a little. “Isn’t your father a famous potioneer? Shouldn’t you be good at Potions?”

“Yeah, he is… you gotta love the irony, love” he smirked.

“Don’t call me that!” you glared at him. “What if Sirius finds out?”

“He won’t” he assured you. “And I honestly don’t think he would mind if he does” he tried.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Isn’t the loveliness of my company enough, love?” he asked but he saw you raising your wand at him and he put up his hands in surrender. “Fine… what do you want?”

You thought about it for a moment. Nobody had ever asked you what you wanted. Not really. You were always just told what to do. And then, you thought of the one thing you had always wanted but could never do.

“Um… if I tell you… do you promise not to tell anyone? Or um… laugh at me?” you said, feeling your cheeks burn as you looked down. James had to admit, he had never seen you like this. You always looked so confident, like everyone else in the Black family.

“I promise” he said, making you sigh.

“W-would you teach me um… how to uh- f-fly?” you asked in a small voice, James wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly.

“Um… didn’t you learn how to fly in your first year?” he asked, confused.

“Look, it’s a long story. Are you in or not?” you asked, going back to your usual self and James let out a small chuckle.

“Fine. It’s a deal. You teach me Potions, I teach you to fly” he said, putting his hand so you would shake it. Which you did, pulling him closer.

“And Sirius is not to find about this, is that clear?”

“Perfect.”

And that’s what it was. Perfect. For the following months, you and James spent a lot of time together. In the beginning, you found him incredibly obnoxious since he kept trying to become your friend. Which he quickly managed. You let your guard down and found yourself actually liking his company. And then, it grew into more. You never thought it could happen, but it did. He had somehow become your favorite person. Granted, not many people talked to you so, it wasn’t hard. But if there was a word you would use to describe James Potter was, enchanting. And you quickly fell for him. And you hated it. Because now, here you were. Tired, hungry, alone, and upset. You made your way to the Kitchens, hoping that you could at least get some leftovers from the Elves.

“Miss Black” one of them greeted you happily. “We thought you weren’t going to make it” he said, making you frown in confusion.

“M-make it? What do you mean, Blim?” you asked, confused as two other elves carried a basket your way.

“Mr. Potter asked us to save this for him but he never came” he explained, confused. “Said it was really important for Miss Black’s birthday” he instructed as they handed you the basket. You felt yourself smiling a little but quickly wiped it away. He never came.

“Thank you so much, Blim” you told him.

“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, Miss Black” he said, as they waved you goodbye. You thanked them happily, after all, they were the only ones that had wished you a happy birthday, and then you made your way to your dorm.

“Hi, Ophelia” you greeted your beautiful black cat.

At least she showed up for your birthday. You changed into your pajamas, played some of your favorite music on your record player, and sat on the small seat you had created against your window to go through the picnic basket only to find your favorite food. He’d remember. Everything was perfect, even the cake. Except, he hadn’t been there. He promised he would and you believed him. You knew Gryffindor played today. You knew they won. But he promised. And you believed him.

But again, it was your fault, really. You should have never let him in. You should have never told him what your favorite food was. Or why you didn’t know how to fly. Or that nobody in your house wanted to share a dorm with you anymore. You shouldn’t even have told him that today was your birthday. Well, yesterday. Because you now understood what he felt for you. It was pity. It wasn’t love.

“Alright, are you ready?” he asked, holding up the broom.

“Actually… I’m having second thoughts about this. I don’t want to do it” you said, nervously.

“Come on, love. I promise you’re gonna love it” he insisted.

You had grown accustomed to him calling you love by now. No matter how much you begged him, he wouldn’t stop. And no matter how much you tried to deny it, you were starting to like it.

“B-but what if I fall?” you asked, making him smile at you adorably and grabbing your hand.

“I promise I would never let that happen” he said sincerely. “But… we don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to” he assured you.

“No, it’s okay” you said, unconvincingly. “I just… need a minute” you told him, sitting down on the grass of the Quidditch pitch.

“Look, I know you’ve told me not to ask why you didn’t learn to fly sooner so…” he said, sitting down next to you. “May I ask why you want to learn now? Why is it so important to you?”

“I don’t know” you said, quietly as you started playing with the grass next to you. “My mother has told me not to my whole life” you informed him. “She always said it wasn’t for ladies” you said, bitterly. “On my first year, she sent an owl saying that she may not be able to control which house her disappointing daughter was sorted into but I was not to ride a broom, and well… you know nobody wants to go against Walburga Black” you said with a sad chuckle. “I always wanted to learn because Siri and Reggie- um… Sirius and Regulus both know how to and they love it” you continued. “I guess I wanted to have something in common with them” you smiled sadly. “Are you… are you crying?”

“I’m sorry” he said, wiping away the few tears on his cheeks. “That was just… um, w-well, every story Padfoot tells me from your home it’s just…”

“Sad, I know” you said as James composed himself. “You can say it” you told him.

“Is it… as bad for you as it is for Sirius?” he asked, worriedly.

“A little” you admitted. “At least Sirius has you, Remus, and Peter” you smiled a little.

“You have me too” he said, placing your hand on top of yours and making you look up at him. “You know that, right?” he asked, feeling his heart beating faster when your smile got bigger.

“You’re sweet, James” you said, surprising him a little. “What?”

“I think that’s the first time you call me by my first name” he smiled.

“Oh, s-sorry, um-”

“No, no” he chuckled. “I liked it” he assured you. “I um… I like you” he said, feeling his cheeks blushing.

“Y-you do?” you asked, breaking James' heart at how genuine your question sounded. As if you were actually confused as to why someone would like you.

“Of course, I do” he said, cupping your cheek gently.

“A-are you about to kiss me?” you whispered.

“Is that okay?” he asked sweetly and you nodded smiling before James gently pressed his lips against yours.

You had no idea what you were feeling. Your entire body felt as if fireworks were exploding everywhere. Never, in a million years would you have thought that kissing James Potter would feel so perfect, but now that you knew, you never wanted to stop.

“Alright. I think I’m ready” you said once you pulled apart. James smile at you and got up, offering you his hand to help you. “Y-you promise I won’t fall, right?”

“Promise, love” he said, pulling you closer and kissing your hand.

Lies. From that moment. You never should have fallen for him. How could you have been so stupid? James may have been right, every story from your childhood was extremely unhappy, but you had never felt so empty inside. Having a best friend who then turned into something more and you were sure that you felt was something that you had never felt before, and now it was gone.

You hoped listening to sad songs would help you cry but your eyes seemed dry. You felt the pain in your heart, which was weird. You never felt that before. But you thought you might as well cry. James said it might help whenever you felt upset. But it ended up being him who cried. And not you. So, you were about to just go to bed, when you heard someone knocking loudly on your door. At 1:47 in the morning. You sighed, rolling your eyes, and quickly ran over to open the door, revealing nobody on the other side.

“James, what the bloody hell are you doing? You’re going to wake up my entire house!” you said, pulling him inside and closing the door as he removed the cloak around him.

“I’m sorry, love! I am so sorry I’m late! I swear I lost track of time!” he slurred out.

He was drunk. Really drunk. He was still in his Quidditch robes, drunk out of his mind.

“Potter, you’re-”

“No, no, no! Please don’t call me Potter” he said, walking closer to you and grabbing your hands. “You only call me that when you’re mad” he pouted. “I know I screwed up but I promise I will make it up to you, love!”

“James, you’re drunk-”

“I know! There was a party because we won and I swear I was just going to be there for a few minutes b-because I’m the captain a-and I just lost track of time and-”

“You should leave” you said, quietly, avoiding his eyes. You knew you would cave if you looked into his beautiful doe-eyed face. And you had made up your mind.

“No, no, sweetheart, please I want to make it up to you. Please give me a chance!”

“You are drunk right now-”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry” he insisted. “I can- I just need to-”

“James, please. I’m tired and you’re drunk. Just go to bed” you said, firmly. “We can talk tomorrow if you want to” you told him.

“I don’t want you to be alone” he said, his eyes tearing up. “It’s your birthday!”

“It’s no longer my birthday so… you can go” you said, getting upset.

“I don’t want to leave you” he said, getting closer to you and cupping your cheek softly, making you look at him. “Please, love. I am so sorry” he said. “Please talk to me, just tell me how I can make this right. You can yell at me! You can throw things, I deserve it-”

“James, I don’t want to yell at you” you said, sighing tiredly. “I just want to go to sleep” you told him.

“I don’t want to leave you, love” he said, with a few tears escaping his eyes and bringing you closer. He was about to kiss you and you smelled the Firewhisky in his breath so you pulled away and he kissed your forehead instead.

“Fine” you sighed. “Y-you can stay but I’m tired, I just want to go to sleep” you gave in.

“Okay” James said, feeling his eyes welling up. He couldn’t believe he had failed you. Just like everyone else in your life. He fucked up. He slowly walked over to your bed and sat down. “Is… this okay?” he asked nervously.

“Sure” you said, sounding exhausted.

You threw yourself on your bed, turning your back to him and James quickly climbed next to you. You instantly felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you to him. You sighed deeply, preparing yourself for what was to come. You were going to miss him. You knew that much. You hated how used you had become to him. How regular it just seemed for him to show up and spend the night with you. So, you took it in. His scent, his touch, everything about him because you knew it would be gone by tomorrow.

“I’m really sorry, love” you heard him say before he kissed the back of your head.

“Just… go to sleep, James” you whispered back and it wasn’t long before you heard his snores.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next morning, James woke up to an empty bed, and the realization of the night before quickly came flooding back into his mind. He quickly sat up and saw you on your desk, writing on some parchment.

“Um- w-what time is it?” were the first words that came out of his mouth and he cursed himself. He was beyond stupid.

“It’s still early” you replied as you continued doing whatever it was you were doing. “If you hurry, you can still go to breakfast before your friends wonder where you are” you said, quietly.

“N-no. I don’t want to go to breakfast” he said, walking over to you. “I want to apologize and talk to you” he said, looking down at the parchment you were working on. “W-what’s that?”

You finished writing and stood up, handing the piece of parchment to him with a serious expression on your face.

“A list of people who are not Severus Snape that can tutor you in potions” you simply said, trying to make your way to your window seat.

“W-what?” he panicked.

“I have your things here” you said, handing him a box with his things. “Oh” you said, realizing you were wearing his sweater so you quickly took it off and placed it on top of his things. “Sorry” you said, and you felt like you were freezing.

“Wait, you’re- you’re breaking up with me?” James asked, placing everything aside and walking closer to you. “Please, just… hold on a second. I promise I can explain-”

“James” you said, taking a step back. It unnerved James how calmly you were talking to him. Like you did in the beginning. Like your walls were up again and he meant nothing more than a stranger to you. “I just don’t think that this is working” you said, silently.

“Please, don’t do this, love! I swear I want to make it up to you” he said as a few tears started falling down his cheeks.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you!” he shouted a bit louder than he intended to. “I know I fucked up and I am so sorry! But please, love, just give me another chance, I swear I didn’t mean to miss it-”

“That doesn’t matter, James-”

“Yes, it does! I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, I understand that! But this is a fight, I- I can make it up to you and w-we can go back to the way it was-”

“Why would we do that?” you asked, confused.

“Because that’s what couples do!” he insisted.

“We’re not a couple, James” you said, sounding broken.

“Yes, we are!”

“No, we’re not. You never asked me to be your girlfriend. We’ve never gone out on a date. You barely talk to me outside these walls-”

“You said you didn’t want Sirius to know about us! I told you I didn’t care!”

“That doesn’t make a difference, James!”

“Yes, it does! Because I love you!”

“No, you don't!”

“Yes, I do! I love you so much and I know you love me too!”

“Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous, Potter” you said, with a sarcastic chuckle as you tried to walk into your bathroom but James blocked your way.

“No, I’m not!” he said, softly as you tried to look away. He gently cupped your cheek with his big, strong hand and slowly lifted your face so you could see him. Not even a sign of tears while his eyes were flooded. “Tell me you don’t” he said, quietly.

“E-excuse me?” you asked, confused.

“Tell me you don’t love me” he said. “I know you’ve never said that you love me but whenever I tell you that I do, you smile and you kiss me! You’ve never said that you don’t! So, tell me you don’t love me” he insisted.

“James!”

“No! If you want to break up with me, at least talk to me first! You at least have to tell me how you feel about me!” he argued.

“You wanna know how I feel about you?” you snapped pushing yourself away from him.

“Yes!”

“You really want to know how you make me feel?” you said, getting upset.

“Yes!”

“I have no idea how you make me feel, James!” you snapped, breaking James’ heart. “Y-you make me feel happy and angry, and scared, and sad, and crazy, and warm, and vulnerable, and like I can break at any moment, but I somehow know that I won’t because you won’t let that happen but then I feel so lost if you’re not there! And I feel weak and confused, and-” enchanted. “And, alive and like I can float, and sure but unsure at the same time, and like I can be myself and I want to try to be a better person but it wouldn’t matter because you still look at me with that stupid grin! And- and-” you said, trying to take deep breaths. “I don’t know! It’s just a lot all at once and I don’t know how to handle it and I don’t like it!” you said, trying to catch your breath. “I don’t like it, James!”

“Okay, okay!” James said, quickly walking over to you and placing his hands on each side of your face. “Breathe, love, please” he said quietly, as you slowly tried to catch your breath and stop shaking. James was now fully weeping but a small smile formed on his face. “Sweetheart” he said, quietly. “That’s love” he told you.

“W-what?”

“What you’re feeling” he explained. “That’s love” he insisted.

“How do you know that?” you asked, confused.

“Because that’s exactly how I feel about you” he said as you managed to even your breathing again.

“I don’t like feeling scared” you whispered.

“I know, love” he smiled. “I know, and I’m scared too-”

“Then why would you still want to be with me?”

“Because I love you” he repeated. “And… you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been and I know that I fucked up yesterday, I do, but I promise I will make it up to you and, if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me, love” he said in a serious tone.

You took a deep breath. You wanted to. You really did. You wanted to know what was on the other side and if you could live a ‘happily ever after’ that you read in so many stories when you were a kid. But this was real life. And you couldn’t break James Potter like you broke everything else you touched.

“No, James” you said, pushing away from him.

“B-but-” he tried but you walked away, going to your bathroom.

“Please, James. Just… forget it. Like you forget everything else" you said sadly before you walked inside, locking the door and your heart broke when you still heard him cry.

James turned to look at the box you left with all of his things. He couldn’t bring himself to take it. He needed to make things right. He walked out of your dorm and your house and made his way over to the Gryffindor Tower, not even caring about breakfast. He plopped himself on the furthest sofa, and after a while, he heard giggling and a group of girls walking over to him.

“Hey, Potter” Marlene asked. It wasn’t usual to see him without his three friends and his energy was entirely different today. “You okay?”

“Um… can I ask you, girls, something?” he said as Marlene, Dorcas, Lily, and Alice sat around him. “I would ask my friends but… in this particular subject they all are just… useless” he chuckled sadly.

“Is it about a girl?” Alice asked.

“Well… yeah” he admitted.

“Oh, Merlin it is! Who is it?” Dorcas asked, excitedly.

“I can’t… say it out loud, Sirius can’t know!”

“He’s your best friend, why can’t he know?”

“Because it’s his sister” Lily smirked.

“What?” the other three reacted shocked.

“How did you know?” James asked, confused.

“I’ve seen you in Potions” she shrugged. “You two are cute together” she smiled. “So, what happened?”

“Well, we had been seeing each other for a while now and yesterday was her birthday and I promised her that we would do something and I had this whole picnic planned in the Astronomy tower but… I lost track of time and-”

“No!” Alice said, her smile dropping.

“You didn’t!” Dorcas frowned.

“You forgot?” Marlene asked, slapping his arm.

“I didn’t mean to! We were playing with our secondary team because we had so many hurt players, I didn’t think we would win! And then we did and I started drinking and I just lost track of time!”

“You are unbelievable potter!” Marlene glared at him.

“I want to make things right! I love her and I’m pretty sure she loves me to-”

“Pretty sure?” Alice asked with an arched eyebrow.

“W-well, she hasn’t said it, exactly, but I know she feels it” he insisted. “Look, this is the first time I’ve felt like this in my life and I know that I fucked up but… I also know she’s scared and it just… I want to make things right” he insisted.

The four girls shared looks amongst themselves before they went back to James and Lily nodded.

“Alright, we’ll help you” she agreed.

“Really?”

“Yes, but only because she has looked happier lately, and you seem to actually be sorry. But if you fuck this up again, Potter-” Dorcas threatened.

“I know, I swear, I won’t!” he told them.

“Alright, then” Alice smirked.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“What are you doing here?”

“For fuck’s sake!” you jumped, falling down the stairs you were on and landing on the floor. “Sirius!” you said, getting up. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?” you glared at your older brother.

“I asked first” he shrugged.

“None of your business” you said, rolling your eyes. “You?”

“Same” he said.

“Fine. This has been lovely, then” you said, trying to walk out of the class but Sirius stopped you.

“Okay, no! Wait!” he said, grabbing your arm and turning you around. “I was… looking for you” he admitted.

“If you’re planning on stealing my Potions essay, I haven’t finished it yet-”

“No, that’s not it” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I… wanted to… um… talk to you” he said, awkwardly.

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused.

“Well, there are… a few things I wanted to tell you” he admitted. “If um… you’d like to come with me to the… Lake or something” he said.

“Well, since you asked so normally” you said, still confused. But this was the first time that Sirius talked to you in so long, you really didn’t want to take it for granted, so you followed him. Once you reached to the Great Lake he sat down near a tree and pointed his side so you would join him. “So… did you bring me here to kill me or-”

“Shut up” he said with a faint chuckle. He then looked inside his bag and got out a small present. “Here” he said, handing it to you. “Um… happy birthday” he said quietly. You raised your eyebrow at him before grabbing the gift.

“Is this thing going to catch fire or something?”

“No!” he argued. But he couldn’t really blame you for thinking that. “No, I promise, I just… I know I’m a day late-”

“You’re about six years late but, alright” you said a bit harshly.

“I guess I deserve that” he muttered as you opened your present and you saw all of your favorite candy from Honeydukes. “I… wanted to say that… I’m sorry” he said.

“Um… why?”

“What do you mean why? For shutting you and Regulus out when I got sorted into Gryffindor and then… still not reaching out to you when you were sorted in Hufflepuff-”

“No, I know but… I mean… why now? Do you need something? Are you dying? Am I dying?”

“Stop it, bug!” he said, rolling his eyes and then looking at you when he realized what he had just called you. You felt your heart stopping for a moment.

“You… you haven’t called me that in a very long time” you said, feeling warmth in your heart. Once you thought was absolutely gone.

“I know… I’m sorry, if you’re not okay with it-”

“It’s okay” you quickly said. “I… kind of missed it” you admitted, looking away.

“You used to hate it” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I know but… once it was gone…” you sighed.

“We’re both really bad at this, aren’t we?” he laughed a little and, to his surprise, you did too.

“We definitely are the worst at feelings” you admitted. “Why are you apologizing to me now?” you asked curiously.

“A couple of reasons” he said. “I miss you” he admitted and you glared at him a little. “I really do!” he insisted. “Look, I get that we are awful at feelings and all that but… I’ve kind of been working on it and… I just… I want a relationship with my little sister” he said genuinely.

“Those are big words, Sirius” you chuckled. “What do you even know about relationships?”

“Well… I’m… currently in one” he said, looking away.

“You are?” you asked, a bit shocked and he nodded. “Wow, who’s the unlucky girl?”

Sirius let out a scoff, glaring at you. “Actually… it’s not a girl” he corrected.

“Is it Lupin?” you asked as Sirius widened his eyes in surprise.

“How did you know?”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious, you sink a deeper level of idiot whenever you’re around him” you informed him.

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is. Last week you knocked down your cauldron and three others when he laughed” you pointed out.

“That was… an accident” he tried to defend himself.

“Sure, it was” you said sarcastically.

“So… what do you think?” he asked, nervously.

“Why would you care what I think?”

“Well, you’re my sister, and… you’re also… the first person I’ve told” he admitted.

“Really?”

“Y-yeah” he said with a nervous smile.

“Well, if I’m being completely honest… I think Remus can do a lot better than you” you said with a smirk, making Sirius push you a little and glare at you.

“That’s not funny” he argued.

“I wasn’t joking” you said. “Is he… the one that’s making you get in touch with your feelings?”

“Kinda” he admitted. “You know, he and James grew up in a functional home, and… they know how to feel like a normal person” he informed you. “So… a few months ago, I was where you are right now” he added.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, nervously.

“I’m talking about you and Prongs and how you are afraid of being in a relationship with him” he said, casually.

“W-what? D-did James say-?”

“He didn’t say anything, but he’s a terrible liar” he shrugged. “I’ve known for a while and… to be honest, I have never seen him as happy as he is with you” he told you. “And… I have never seen him as miserable as today” he added. “So, I knew you were probably feeling worse, but… had no idea how to express it” he told you.

“How would you even know that?”

“Because you’re just like me” he told you. “A few months ago, Remus and I had our first fight. He told me that he loved me and… I kind of ran away” he said. “We didn’t speak for about three days. I was in such a bad mood, even I didn’t want to deal with myself” he explained. “Look, I know that we are wired differently than everyone else because mum and dad didn’t exactly teach us how to… feel or… love” he continued. “So, when someone does, it feels-”

“Fucking weird” you added.

“Yeah” he agreed. “But… that doesn’t mean that we can’t, you know that, right? And it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it, bug” he told you. “I know I screwed up on my part and I am really sorry for pushing you away-”

“Why did you do it?” you asked all of the sudden. “I get that you were angry when you came back home from your first year but… Regulus and I never thought any different from you and you… shut us down” you said, sadly. “And then… the next year, when I was sorted into Hufflepuff, I thought maybe-”

“I know! I should have talked to you, I know, I was an idiot!” he said, genuinely. “Remus has made me talk about it a lot lately and… I want to make things right” he sighed. “You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to and I don’t expect you to do it right away if you do, I just… had to start somewhere” he smiled, hopeful.

“By giving me candy and saying happy birthday a day later?” you smirked a little. “It’s a good start, I guess” you nodded, grabbing a Sugar Quill and giving him one.

“Well, I also… wanted to help you fix things with Prongs” he suggested.

“Because you love James so much now that you are an expert on feelings and don’t want to see him sad?”

“Well… sort of, but… I love you too, bug” he said, making you almost choke on your sweet. You were pretty sure he had never said that before. “I know, we don’t really say that to each other or anyone else. Remus was the first person I ever said it to. It feels good, you should try it” he continued. “I know you love James-”

“How could you possibly know that? Even I don’t know that!”

“I think that you do and that’s why you’re so scared” he told you. “And I know I’m probably the last person that should be telling you this but… there’s nothing wrong with that” he assured you.

“It’s just…” you sighed. “W-what if he realizes how broken I am and he doesn’t want to be anymore?” you asked, sadly, breaking Sirius’ heart a little. “Or if I end up breaking him?”

“Bug, you’re not that broken-”

“Really? Do you want to know what I was doing in Potions class? I was looking for something that would make me cry” you explained.

“Really?”

“Yes, James cries all the time, did you know that?”

“Yeah, he cried when Moony and I told him we were dating” Sirius laughed.

“I feel empty without him, Sirius, and yet… not a single tear!”

“Well, that doesn’t mean you’re broken” Sirius insisted. “We never cry” he continued. “Blacks don’t cry” you both said at the same time, letting out a small laugh. “We’ll get there, bug” he said, pulling you to him and kissing the side of your head.

“We?” you asked, a little confused.

“Oh yeah, now that you have accepted me back into your life I’m not leaving-”

“Can I reconsider this-?”

“Nope, it’s too late! We’re going to be best friends, bug!”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You had surprisingly spent the rest of the day with Sirius, and Remus had joined at some point. They took you to Hogsmeade as Remus insisted on at least taking you out for your birthday. You liked Remus, and you could see that he definitely brought out the best in your brother. They seemed very in love. And at some point, it dawned on you. You were in love with James. He had been right. What you felt for him, was love. You were still terrified but you had made up your mind to talk to him the next day. Remus and Sirius even said the four of you could go to Hogsmeade together. This was definitely the craziest thing you had ever gone through in your life. But you were done feeling sorry for your self and you were done being afraid. You definitely did not want to spend the rest of your life like your parents. Feeling nothing and being unhappy. So, you would talk to James and try to be happy for once. However, when you opened your dorm’s door, you saw that he had already gone ahead of you.

Your mouth dropped when you saw the scene in front of you. Your dorm was decorated with beautiful fairy lights above, like floating stars, and candles and flowers everywhere. James was in the corner, finishing putting some flowers next to your bed.

“James?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, love- I uh-” he stuttered, walking closer to you. “Um, I know you told me to f-forget about it but…” he sighed, offering you the last flower in his hand. “I don’t want to” he chuckled. “I don’t want to forget about it and… I don’t want to forget about you” he explained. “Love, I know that I majorly fucked up” he continued. “And you have every right to hate me and never forgive me if you want to but… I wanted to give you the birthday that I had planned for you first. The birthday that you deserved before I royally fucked it up” he said, grabbing the picnic basket on your window seat.

“Did you ask the elves to do the whole meal again?”

“N-no” he assured you. “Um… I did it myself” he said, making your heart flutter a little. “Granted, I… uh, I don’t think it’s going to be as good” he chuckled. “So, we don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to” he assured you before he placed the basket back down. “I um… I also didn’t get to give you your present” he said, grabbing a bag on your nightstand.

“You-” you felt something weird happening. “You got me a present?”

“Of course, I got you a present, love” James smiled sweetly. “Would you like to open it? Or we can eat first if you’d like. Or you can eat. And I can leave if you prefer-”

Before he could go on, you quickly grabbed the bag from him. James smiled to himself at how excited you looked, opening your gift. And then, you pulled it out. A book. And a stuffed rabbit. An exact rabbit like the one in the book. Wearing a small knitted cardigan with Gryffindor colors. Just like the one James had given you.

“What-?” you tried to catch your breath. “H-how did you-?”

“The sweater comes off” he smiled. “I asked my mum to make it, I thought it would look cute because you like mine so much” he explained.

“N-no, how um- how did you know-?”

“You told me, remember?” he frowned, confused. “How when you were a kid, and your mum took you and your brothers to Diagon Alley and you ran off and got lost and ended up in a muggle library” he continued. “And you read that book and you always wanted a rabbit like that one-”

“Y-you remember that?” you asked, in complete disbelief.

You told him that story so long ago. You remember it perfectly. It was the first night he stayed in your dorm and you ended up talking all night. You had no idea he would remember it. It felt like forever ago.

“Of course, love” he said as if it was obvious.

Before either one of you could say anything else, you threw your arms around James’ shoulders and you planted a big kiss on his lips. James widened his eyes in surprise a little before he closed them and wrapped one of his arms around your waist and he placed his other hand on your cheek.

“This is…” you sighed when you pulled apart and you looked down at your rabbit. “This is the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me” you chuckled.

"Um... I also wanted to ask if... you would like to be my girlfriend?" he said, nervously.

"I would really like that" you nodded.

“Wait, are you… are you crying?” James asked, brushing a few tears with his thumb.

“A-am I?” you asked as a smile appeared on your face. You brought your hand up to your face and you saw that it was, in fact, covered in tears. “I’m crying!” you chuckled as you noticed James’ eyes welling up as they usually did. “James, I’m crying!”

“I can see that, love” he smiled brightly at you. “I’m really sorry I forgot your birthday” he said, pulling you closer.

“It’s okay” you assured him. “You cooked for me” you said with a small laugh.

“I also apologize for that. I have no idea what I was doing” he warned you.

“It can’t be that bad” you assured him. “Would you like to join me?”

“R-really?”

You nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards your window. You sat down as James pulled out the food, smiling when he saw you playing with your rabbit’s ear and going through the pages of your book. He had never seen you smile like this. And he promised to himself that he would do anything he can to keep that smile placed there.

“James?”

“Yes, love?”

“Um… please don’t cry when I say this but… uh, you were right… earlier today” you said, nervously before you cleared your throat and you looked at him. “I love you” you admitted, feeling an enormous weight off your shoulders. And of course, James’ tears quickly ran down his cheeks.

“Y-you do?” he asked with a sweet smile and you nodded.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it” you said, nervously. “I just… well, y-you know Sirius and I don’t really- um… I was just… scared because we were sort of instructed to… not really feel anything and I just… didn’t want to screw things up with you because you are very in touch with your emotions and I’m a bit broken that way-”

“You’re not broken, love” he insisted, holding your hand in his. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you. Because you’re perfect” he said, making you smile a little. “And I love you so much” he said, pulling you for another kiss and he felt your smile against his lips. “Say it again” he asked when you pulled away.

“James-”

“Please” he pouted, making you laugh and roll your eyes a little.

“I love you” you said, making him throw his arms around you and pulled you to him, peppering your face with kisses as he heard you laugh, which was his favorite music.

“I love you too!”

The End

[Bonus Scene The Next Day at The Three Broomsticks...]

"Sirius... are you crying?" Remus asked his boyfriend.

"It's just so beautiful" he said, wiping his tears as you rested your head against James' shoulder. "How Prongs set everything up for her birthday after he forgot and he got her that cute rabbit" he said, while Remus chuckled and hugged him and he looked at James.

"You kind of opened the gate for Blacks to cry, you know that right?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: I really love how this turned out so I hope you liked it too! xD let me know what you think! Remus is coming next and then Sirius!

[vinylfoxbooks]

August 22 - Dare | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 860 Slightly suggestive

“Truth or dare, Reggie?” Barty asks, practically falling over his best friend with his intoxication.

“Truth.” 

“Oh come on!” Evan pushes, both figuratively and literally as he shoves Regulus’ shoulder, “You’ve said dare for the past several rounds.” 

Regulus, not nearly as drunk as his friends, rolls his eyes, “That’s because I know that you guys will have me do something stupid or shameful and I’d rather keep my dignity.”

“You’re just not drunk enough,” Barty pushes, “And that’s the entire point of dares. I’m gonna give you a dare.” Barty squints for a second while he’s thinking before he straightens up, “I know! I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Potter.” 

Regulus sneers at the idea, “I didn’t even choose dare.”

“And my question was a courtesy,” Barty replies, “I was gonna dare you no matter what. Now do it, lover boy.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” Regulus murmurs to his best friend before reluctantly standing up and watching James with a glare as they stand up themselves. One of the Gryffindor girls lead them to an empty closet near the common room and shout that they’ve got seven minutes. Regulus leans against the wall nearest to the door while James crosses to the entire other end of the closet, and it sounds like they sink down to the floor. 

They don’t talk for a while, they have nothing to say, until James starts tapping his foot. 

Tap, tap, tap.

“Can you stop that?” Regulus snaps, “Merlin, can’t you sit still for even a couple minutes?” “Sorry that I have fucking issues.” James sneers back, “Can’t you learn to keep your mouth shut for five fucking minutes instead of being an arse?”

“Oh, I’m the arse? And what about the way that you fucking act around me and my friends.”

“I. Don’t. Like. You.” James says, slowing down their words, “I’m nice to everyone else around me, but I don’t like you or your stupid ass boyfriends. The only reason that I put up with you is because Sirius likes you, though I don’t see why.” 

“I’d rather you hate me than be all over me the way that you were Evans. I’m honestly shocked at how she ended up wanting to spend time around you in the end. You’re a fucking twat.”

“At least I have friends, oh and I can apologize and take accountability for the shit that I do.”

“Oh get off your high horse.” 

“Says the person that thinks they’re better than everyone because they dress formally and do well in school.”

“I am better than you. At least I can sit still and do schoolwork on time.”

James scoffs, “I’m mentally ill, I literally can’t do that sometimes. I literally can’t stop moving sometimes, it’s called mental illness, medically. Despite that, I do just fine in school, just not in the same way as you.”

“Oh,” Regulus falters. He may be an asshole, specifically to one James Potter, but he’s not going to make fun of someone for something that they can’t help but he also didn’t know this. Nonetheless, he doesn’t back down, only changes his approach, “Doesn’t give your massive fucking ego an excuse. You think you’re so hot and that no one can touch you.”

“Oh, so you think that about me?” James asks, and it sounds like they’re standing up, “I sure don’t think that about myself, I just go about my day, as the person that I am. It’s wildly telling that you think that.”

“Please,” Regulus scoffs in an attempt to recover from the counterargument. He can feel his cheeks warming and he forces himself to believe that it’s anger -- not the fact that James is getting closer to him in a dark, enclosed space away from everyone, their voice growing more… 

It’s hatred, it’s anger that makes Regulus’ cheeks hot, and James can’t see it anyway, “You’d be stupid to not realise how everyone looks at you, I’m just relaying popular word to your arrogant arse.”

James laughs cruelly before they’re standing chest to chest with Regulus and one of them is surging forward to connect their lips, but Regulus doesn’t know who it was that made the initial move.

The kiss is… intense but in the way that only two people who hate each other’s guts can be intense, fiery and constantly fighting for control of the kiss, they’re grappling at each other but with nails and digging into skin to hurt instead of to cause any form of pleasure -- although Regulus takes a minor note of the way that James groans at one particular spot that Regulus digs his nails into, purely for… blackmail.

Yeah.

The door swings open before either of them are able to pull away and Sirius is the one that’s standing just outside the closet, “I fucking knew it!” He shouts, “I knew that you two were head over heels for each other!”Regulus pulls away, cheeks flushed in a way that he can’t deny it being because of James, and shoves out of the room, but not before he hears James hiss, “We’re fucking what?” To Sirius.

[redocity]

18) fucking in the bar bathroom and being too drunk to care about being quiet for the redoliday sleepover please??

i’m thinking post!tommy buck reverting to buck 1.0 to stop himself from calling tommy again (fem!reader please)

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 — 𝐄.𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐘

18) fucking in the bar bathroom and being too drunk to care about being quiet

3) depression sex in order to feel something good for once

evan buckley x fem!reader | 2.1k | smut | masterlist.

WARNINGS | THIS POST IS 18+ MDNI, semi-public sex, unprotected piv, both the reader and buck are heavily intoxicated, bathroom sex, one night stand, buck and reader don’t know each other’s names, rebound sex (for buck)

𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝐤𝟐𝟒 !!

a/n — i combined these two asks bc it felt right to me, hope that’s okay !!

Buck was not feeling it tonight.

Being dragged to a bar by the team for a night out whilst he’s still knee-deep in trying to social distance from his phone so he doesn’t call Tommy was an actual nightmare.

He needed a distraction, yes, but being surrounded by horny couples all over each other wasn’t exactly helping.

That’s about when he started drinking.

Buck wasn't just drinking. He was throwing them back. Tequila, whiskey, a beer or two—it was a reckless concoction, but the buzz creeping through his veins was exactly what he needed. It dulled the ache in his chest, the one he was desperately trying to smother with alcohol and fleeting distractions—but not enough to drown out the thoughts of Tommy completely.

He hated this. Hated how every drink brought his face back into focus instead of erasing it. Hated how every laugh in the bar sounded just a little like his. And, most of all, hated how the team was doing everything they could to make sure he wasn’t alone with his phone long enough to text him.

It wasn’t like he wanted to call Tommy. He knew that was a bad idea. But the temptation sat in his pocket, a constant reminder that he wasn’t his anymore, no matter how many times he unlocked his phone and stared at his number.

“Buck,” Hen said, sliding into the stool next to him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not thinking about what I think you’re thinking about, are you?”

He scoffed, knocking back another drink and ignoring the way his jaw tightened at the question. “I’m thinking about how terrible your taste in bars is, actually. Who even picked this place?”

Hen narrowed her eyes but let it slide. “Alright, Buckaroo. Just… don’t do anything stupid, okay? I’m watching you.”

The implication was clear, and Buck gave her a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

But the second Hen turned her attention back to the others, Buck’s gaze shifted. He scanned the crowd, looking for something—someone—to drown out the noise in his head. And that’s when he spotted it.

You were leaning against the bar, laughing at something the bartender said, and the sight hit Buck like a gut punch. You weren’t doing anything special, just existing, but there was something about the way your smile lit up the room that pulled him in.

So he did what past him did best: turned off his brain and turned up the charm.

Without thinking, Buck pushed off his stool and made his way toward you.

“Hey,” he said, flashing a grin that was a little too confident for someone who’d just downed several drinks. “I don’t know if it’s the lighting in here, or if you’re just naturally this stunning, but you’re kind of making the rest of us look bad.”

You looked up, surprised but amused by his approach. “Smooth. Is that your go-to line?”

Buck chuckled, leaning against the bar beside you. “Only when it works.”

You smile, and all of Buck’s inhibitions disappear.

“You gonna buy me a drink then?”

That was all the invitation he needed.

—

It didn’t take long for things to escalate. Between the shots and the shameless flirting, the two of you were a ticking time bomb. Buck was leaning closer, his hands brushing against yours, and when you laughed at one of his jokes, it felt like a victory.

By the time he pulled you toward the bathroom, you were too drunk to care about the way people stared—or the fact that you didn’t even know his name yet.

The door slammed shut behind you, and Buck was on you in an instant, his lips crashing against yours in a messy, heated kiss. His hands roamed your body like he was trying to memorize every curve, every inch of skin, and you couldn’t get enough of him.

“You’re trouble,” you muttered against his lips, your fingers tangling in his hair.

“Mm, probably,” he agreed, mouthing his way down your neck.

His body was pressed against yours, one hand on your hip as the other explored your body.

He needed tonight. To stop and just have fun for once.

His teeth nipped along your collarbone and his hot breath against your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

His hand roamed, his palm trailing over your stomach and moving higher to cup your breast.

He squeezed gently and your breath hitched.

He took it as an encouragement to continue, his thumb rolling across one harden nipple through the fabric of your dress.

“No bra,” he murmured, his lips at your ear. “Naughty.”

He pressed his hips against you, one of his legs pushing between your own and rubbing against your core through your underwear.

You gasped in response, your head falling back as he continued to explore your body, one hand drifting down to grasp your bare thigh, lifting your leg up so it hooked around his hip.

He ground himself into you and a low moan escaped his lips, his head dropping forward to rest on your shoulder. “Jesus,” he muttered, his voice slightly winded.

You tugged on his hair, angling his head up so you could kiss him again. You didn’t want to talk to him, and you definitely didn’t have the patience to.

Buck pushed you against the sink, pinning you between the cold metal and his hard body while he explored your mouth with his tongue like he was a starving man and you were his meal.

His hands roamed, tracing heated trails over your skin, pushing under the hem of your dress.

He needed more, more of you.

One of his hands slid up your inner thigh, under your dress, and towards the heat he felt there, the other tugging harshly at his belt.

He managed to get his pants undone, with a little bit of struggle with his inhibited coordination, the zipper loud in the otherwise silent bathroom as the demon hit the floor.

He pushed your dress further up, lifting it over your hips as he tried to make it easier to access you, breaking the kiss only so he could concentrate on what he was doing, his breath ragged as he tugged your underwear to the side.

He glanced down to admire the way you were presented to him, like a perfectly wrapped gift, and he groaned.

His eyes were dark when he looked back up at your face, and he leaned in close to you. “I’m going to ruin you,” he murmured against your lips.

It’d been so long since he’d had anyone like this, a meaningless hookup in a bar with so much alcohol running through his system he felt lightheaded.

He needed this, this feeling of being in control of something in his life when everything else was so screwed up. He needed to bury himself in you and just forget.

With a few precursors pumps of his cock, buck lined himself up with you and slowly started to sink into what he knew would be a much needed release.

He’d been hard since you’d given him the once over and he was desperate for it, to finally find some kind of relief for the loneliness he’d been feeling lately.

His hips pushed deep, trying to fill the aching void inside of him. The need to forget his loneliness for a few hours. And god were your moans helping him forget.

Once he’d bottomed out he set a brutal pace, hips slamming into yours, the tile of the restroom wall cool against your bare back. He didn’t have the dignity to be nice, not tonight.

His hands were rough on your skin, almost to the point of pain, but there was a certain comfort in it. His head dipped, lips sucking and nipping at any stretch of skin he could reach.

He shifted, tugging on the underside of your thighs to change the angle slightly, and a harsh moan slipped past your lips. He’d hit a sensitive spot, and you arched into him, your body shivering.

He let out a soft noise of his own, his pace unrelenting, and his mouth returned to your neck. He nipped and sucked at the expanse of skin, the sounds of his hips slapping into yours and your gasps echoing loudly in the small bathroom.

He could taste the salt on your skin, the alcohol still on your lips, and it just made him want more.

He needed to get closer, to just bury himself into your tight heat and never come up for air. He didn’t want to think about the outside world, about how much he’d screwed up his life lately.

He just wanted to lose himself in you.

He shifted, his arm hooking under your knee so he could angle your hips up, pressing your thigh to your chest.

He could go deeper like this, and god did he want to go deeper.

You arched into him, your breaths coming out in small pants as he drove you mindless with pleasure.

He was everywhere, his body hard and warm against yours, his lips and teeth hot against your skin, the sound of his breath in your ear.

It was all too much and yet not enough, and you whimpered, needing more of anything and everything he was giving you.

Your nails bit into his back, hands scrambling for purchase on his skin. You tried to pull him closer, to get him even deeper into you and he obliged, his pace quickening and his hips snapping against yours.

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he let out a strangled moan. His body trembled against you, the pressure in his stomach building, and he could feel his restraint fraying.

He was close, and he needed to find his release.

His hips started to go jerky, rhythm faltering, his arms wrapping tightly around you to pull you closer, his body tense all over as he tried to hold himself back.

He bit down on your shoulder, the sensation sending a shock through your body.

“God, I need to come—” he panted into your ear.

He was so close, hanging right on the edge, but he needed you to fall first.

“Need you to come first,” he said, his voice thick.

He buried his face against your neck, his hands roaming over your body, one of them slipping between you to find the sensitive bundle of nerves that he knew would help urge you along.

He knew he was good at this, that he knew what he was doing. He was good with his hands and his mouth and his words, knew all the ways to make a woman lose control.

He found your clit easily, knowing you were probably already close, just needed a bit of a push.

He could feel it in the tremble of your body, the way you kept letting out these little sounds that were driving him wild, how your hand was gripping his hair to the point he was sure it was going to hurt when he left.

And the clench. God the way you tightened around him made him feel dizzy.

And then it was a gush, solidified with a heavy breath and your legs trembling in the aftershock.

“God, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he panted as he slowly withdrew from you.

He took his weight off of you by planting one arm next to your head, his head dropping to bury itself in the crook of your neck, his breathing still heavy and uneven as he finished himself off with his hand.

He didn’t know how messy he’d made either of you, and at that moment, he was a little too blissed out to care.

He just hoped that whoever owned this bathroom knew how to clean it properly.

He stood unmoving against you for several moments while he caught his breath, trying to process what had just happened.

—

“Uh, guys?” Chimney strides over to stand between Eddie and Hen, eyebrows furrowed in a line that looked harsher underneath the dim lighting. “We lost Buck—”

[moonstruckme]

can i request some poly!marauders where reader tells them they love them for the first time… but like sooo passionate and sappy, maybe some tears of relief.. ugh i love your writing sm 😭😭

Of course you can sweetheart, sorry it took me a bit to get to it!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words

Lately it’s like you can hardly stop yourself. You’ll get off the phone with James, or Remus will let you run your fingers over his scars, or Sirius will braid your hair for you, and you’ll want to say Ugh, I love you.

In some ways, you feel a bit silly for agonizing over it. You know the boys have been saying it to each other for years, platonically before romantically, so sometimes it feels like you’re a bit behind the curve. Sirius flings it about like he has love in endless supply (and from what you can tell, he does). Evans, you know I love you, but that hat is a crime and You have a great personality, Prongs, but I love those big shoulders most of all and Is that drink for me, Marls? I knew I loved you for a reason. And it’s such a small thing, objectively, just three words in their natural order, but it also feels like sort of a big deal. 

You do love them. So much it sometimes feels like your heart swells until it crowds out your lungs and steals your breath, but telling them is no simple matter. Do you tell them together? That feels like making a big deal out of things, like calling a family meeting or something. But if you tell them separately, you’d have to pick an order, and that could only go poorly, too. You don’t want it to be an announcement, though you don’t just want to blurt it out like it’s nothing, either. Maybe it is to some people, maybe even to them (although you don’t think so), but it’s not to you. You’ve never loved anyone like this before, let alone three people. The severity of it had hit you like a truck, all at once, vaulting you into love faster than you could catch your breath. 

It's a new feeling to you, this romantic sort of love, but you have enough acumen to recognize magic when you feel it. No matter how much you hate being at the center of attention, you aren't going to trivialize that. 

The confession tempts your tongue now, sitting on the bathroom counter with Sirius between your legs and James sitting on the floor beside him. 

“I just think you would look cute with a couple little braids.” Sirius’ breath fans your face as he speaks, one hand on your cheek to keep you still as he does your eyeliner. 

“I don’t want to look cute,” James argues. “And everyone else thinks my hair looks great as it is, thank you.” 

“Cute isn’t the right word. Rakish. Kind of like a pirate.” 

“You can’t change the terminology to fool me. I look rakish every day, don’t I Moony?”

“You do.” Remus comes to lean in the open doorway, pulling on his socks. “Though I do think a braid would be fun to try, sometime.” 

Sirius takes only a moment to relish in this small triumph before he's frowning. “You are not wearing that to the party.” 

Remus looks down at his faded green sweater. “It looks like I am. I don’t intend to shiver during the walk there.” 

Sirius scoffs, and James, spotting a pot to stir, says, “I like you in that sweater, actually.” 

Remus knows exactly what his boyfriend is doing, but he smirks anyway. “Thank you, Prongs. It’s like we’re his little projects, aren’t we? At least someone doesn’t want to change me.” 

Everyone’s eyes find you, waiting to see what side you’ll pick. You burn under the spotlight. “I think you look great either way.” You shrug, but stop when Sirius hisses sharply, his grip tightening on your face. 

Remus eyes you, something searching in his gaze that you don’t like. You can never hide a thought for long before he susses you out. But to your surprise, it’s Sirius who says, “You okay, sweet thing? You’re being even quieter than usual. You still want to go, yeah?”

“Yeah, I wanna go,” you say quickly. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, finishing up with your eyeliner and stepping back to look at you. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You squirm, pinned like a butterfly beneath his gaze. “It’s nothing, it’s silly.” 

A poor choice. Now you have everyone’s full attention. 

“I’m sure it’s not silly.” James smiles at you encouragingly. “What is it?”

You start to pick at your nails, but Sirius' eyes narrow at them, and you stop. “I just…I’ve been thinking lately.” 

A beat passes before Remus fills the silence. “That’s always a good thing,” he says slowly, amusedly. “C’mon, dove, out with it.” 

This isn’t how you wanted this to go. You’re on the spot. It’s going to feel like a forced confession. They’re expecting something silly and light—I just don’t feel like my outfit is going to work for tonight—and you feel like you’re about to drop a bomb on them in comparison. 

In the end, you give yourself away before you say the words. “Okay, I’m gonna tell you something, and I just need you to know I mean it, but I don’t need it to be…reciprocated.” 

Sirius cocks his head at you, and you decide to burst the bubble of tension before it can expand any further. 

“Just, I love you.” 

And maybe you wanted it to be like when Sirius says it, like he’s thrown confetti and everyone seems brighter and happier for it, but each word falls heavily from your lips, landing at the feet of your boyfriends for them to decide what to do with. Why did you add in a “just”? There’s nothing just about this. It’s a humiliating attempt at downplaying the phrase, and painfully ineffective too. You feel like you could light yourself on fire with the intensity of your embarrassment.

"Argh, sweetheart,” James says after an impossibly long beat, “I wanted to say it first.” 

“No fucking way.” Sirius whirls on him. “You were gonna say it and you didn’t tell me? I was waiting for one of you to do it first.” 

“Dove,” Remus says, relaxing against the doorframe, “I think we’ve all been feeling the same way for some time. Thank you for having the confidence to say it first.” 

You beam so hard your cheeks start to hurt almost instantly. “Yeah?”

“Color me impressed,” Sirius says. “This whole time you've played coy, but you’ve got more balls than any of the rest of us, haven’t you?” He pauses. “Wait, are you crying?”

“Oh, um, I guess so,” you reply when you touch a fingertip to your lower lashes and it comes away wet. “I’m just relieved, I guess. I was pretty nervous.” 

Sirius grabs some toilet paper, pressing a wad under each of your eyes. “Well shit, don’t fuck up your eyeliner, baby. It was never that dire, not like anyone wasn’t going to say it back.” 

“Well, I wasn’t going in with any expectations,” you mumble, holding your makeshift tissues. 

“Sweetheart,” James whines, his bottom lip beginning to tremble sympathetically. “How could you think we wouldn't? I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much,” you counter, laughing even as the paper under your eyes grows damp. “I’ve been wanting to say it forever. I feel so lucky to have you guys, you know?”

Remus crosses the room, forcing you to discard your toilet paper clumps as he takes your face in his hands, kissing your salty cheeks. “We’re lucky to have found you,” he says, and the words are even, sure. “I don’t say it often enough, but I love you all too. You’re everything to me.” 

“Oh, fuck all of you,” Sirius says, blinking rapidly to save his own sparkly eyeliner. “Obviously you’re the best things that’ve ever happened to me. Pricks.” 

Your laugh is wet, and you wonder if you’re peaking right now or if you’ll be this happy forever. With the three of them around you, you’re betting on the latter. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Think you could fix my makeup before we go, Siri? Please?”

He huffs, but the kiss he presses to your lips is syrupy sweet. “We are going to be well past fashionably late.”

[bekolxeram]

Everyone decides to be sad about Tommy spending the holidays alone today. I just want to say, I hate you all. Especially @mmso-notlikethat with this post. As payback for making me cry my way into insomnia, I wrote this on my phone instead of sleeping.

By the time he knocks on the door, Tommy still has no idea what to expect. “Wear something nice, we’re celebrating tonight,” that’s the only instruction he’s received from Evan, his boyfriend once again. Tommy can’t help but smile at the mere thought of finally allowing himself to say that name.

He has a burgundy dress shirt on with a pair of light grey slim fit pants. Simple, but elegant, hopefully properly dressed for this undisclosed commemoration. March is not known for its holidays, so what’s the occasion that calls for such festivity? They did meet last March at the cruise ship rescue, maybe that was it? Or perhaps Evan is having some sort of career advancement? They’ve been back together for just a few weeks, there’s simply not enough time for Tommy to catch up on Evan’s ever so eventful life. To that, Tommy silently mourn the time they’ve lost, due to his own cowardice.

“Hey — Hey,” Evan takes a step outside of the door to greet Tommy with a quick peck on the lips. Tommy lets the younger man drag him into the loft without much reaction, because he’s still confused by the sight in front of him: Evan in his usual navy blue button up, dark jeans and… a Christmas hat?

Inside the loft is a jumble of sparkly festive decorations. To his left, he sees “Happy Birthday Tommy”; to his right, “Merry Christmas”; and deeper into the living space, “Happy New Year”.

“Jee and Mara helped setting these up,” Evan says while taking half of a roast turkey out of the oven. “This one is from Bobby. He said half a bird is enough for the two of us, if we don’t want to suffer through leftover for the next 7 days.” He then sets the tray next to some roasted vegetables and a casserole. “The casserole is from Chimney, but I’m pretty sure it’s Maddie’s recipe. Hen got you a cake. I think she said something about being sure you would like it. We can have it for dessert. Oh, and the champagne is from…”

“Eddie, because he can’t cook.” Tommy cuts in.

“Exactly!”

“Evan, what’s going on here?”

Evan steps closer, taking both of Tommy’s hands into his own, “You told me the other day that you spent your 40th birthday alone… I only realized later that you were probably on your own for the entire holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day. I know it doesn’t come close to the real thing, but I was thinking maybe we could make up for a few key moments that we missed.” He dims the lights in the loft with a remote control and fiddles with something on the dining table. Suddenly, the whole room is lit up with colorful patterns and twinkling stars. “I couldn’t get any firework around here, so I borrowed this star projector from Christopher.”

“Oh… Evan,” Tommy sighs, eyes already hazy with tears.

“I’m not asking you to move in with me or to make major commitments. I’m not asking for anything in return at all. This is… a promise, from me to you. No matter what happens, what becomes of us in the future, I’ll be there when you need me, we all will.”

Evan says earnestly, with utmost conviction in his tone. The clarity in his eyes reminds Tommy of that day at the café terrace, almost a year ago. “I just want you to know, Tommy, you’re no longer alone.”

A few drops of tears escape Tommy’s eyes, but before he can respond, Evan pulls out a mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads.

“You have to kiss me now.” Evan says with a cheeky grin. Tommy waits no time to capture those smiling lips with his own, kissing him with all the love and gratitude in his heart.

“I love you, Evan. I’m so lucky to have you.” Tommy pulls him into a warm embrace.

“I love you too.” Now it’s Evan’s turn to tear up.

Tommy pulls back a little and asks, “hey, would you mind if we celebrate Valentine’s Day first?”

“Oh, you mean you’re interested in the Valentine’s Night activity?”

“Depends on what you have in mind.”

“Come upstairs. I’ll show you.”

[typicalopposite]

For @bucktommypositivityweek day TWO! :) prompt: nicknames and terms of endearment

🫶🫶🫶🫶

If you were to ask Tommy what his nicknames for Evan were, he might laugh and answer that it was  ‘Evan’. Regardless of it being his actual name, Tommy is one of the only people who uses it, which makes it feel unique and his own. However it wasn’t long into their relationship that ‘baby’ slipped past Tommy’s lips. It just came so natural and felt so right— not to mention how it caused Evan’s eyes to go wide and his cheeks to turn pink. So ‘baby’ is typically how Evan is addressed.

For Tommy, on the other hand, he has been called pretty much everything under the sun. Babe is often used, almost like Evan’s version of Tommy’s Baby, but he sometimes goes with honey, or sweetheart… sunshine—that's mostly sarcasm used when Tommy’s in a mood after a trying day. Tommy doesn’t mind, he loves all the names: the cutesy ones, the sweet ones, the silly ones. 

“Hey Beautiful,” Evan says, looking down at him from the 118’s loft. 

That one… is new. 

It catches Tommy off guard enough he actually turns and checks around him for someone else Evan might have been talking to. “Give me one second, I’ll be right down,” Evan continues, not catching Tommy’s confusion, then he disappears from the railing. 

Tommy stares at the spot he was standing, and can feel his cheeks heating up. 

He knows Evan is attracted to him. Hell, he hates to give himself the confidence boost, but he’d go as far as to say he knows he’s an attractive man. Attractive… handsome… hot even—(okay maybe he’s not that confident)—but beautiful? 

And the thing is he has called Evan beautiful plenty of times. He is. He’s beautiful in so many ways Tommy could list them all day and never reach the end. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Evan asks, coming off the last step, making a beeline to where Tommy’s still cemented to the floor. “Your cheeks are really red.” He lays the back of his hand against Tommy’s forehead, then his cheeks and looks confused. “Ok you don’t have a fever, wait…” He dips his head to meet Tommy’s eyes. “Are you blushing?” 

“No…” Tommy quickly retorts. “Maybe…” he says right after. He shifts on his feet and breaks his eyes from Evan’s. Embarrassed at himself for being so affected by a silly pet name Evan probably didn’t even fully mean. 

“Why… be— because I called you beautiful?” Tommy sighs; he decides to avoid drawing it out by lying and nods. Evan steps forward and grabs Tommy’s face, pulling him into a kiss. “Well you are,” another kiss, “Inside and out.” Tommy rolls his eyes, but Evan doesn’t let up. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Even on your worst days, when your hair is a mess and you have awful morning breath; still beautiful.” 

Tommy is pretty sure his face is a degree off of catching on fire. “Ok, fine… I— I believe you.” 

“Mmm, I don’t think you do,” Evan says teasingly. “So I guess I’ll just have to keep reminding you.” 

Which he does, everyday. Soon beautiful becomes Evan’s baby, and he uses it everytime he sees Tommy. 

And even if Tommy still struggles to view himself as such, he knows Evan thinks he is, and that’s enough. 

[blossomarlia]

you find your introverted boyfriend, remus, hiding from a party.

remus x fem!reader

warnings: none!

Remus is hiding around the shady side of Lily and James’ house, expression guilty the moment he sees you. 

You beam reassuringly. “Hiya.” 

“Hey- I’m sorry,” He says. You cock your head; he’s always so adamant that you not apologise, it’s amusing when he falls into the trap himself. Before you can call him out on it, he continues, “Warranted apology, sweetheart. I was being plagued by Peter’s aunt Mathilda and I abandoned you completely.”

“It’s alright, Remus,” You step forwards, hands behind your back. A perk of having a boyfriend who sneaks off during parties is the joy of finding him in private places like this. You’d used to worry that you were intruding, only he’d assured you that your presence is one of the select few he’s not avoiding. “I’ve been having a lovely time discussing how to get the most out of a lemon tree with Mr Evans.”

Remus smiles fondly, meeting you in the middle and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Have you?” “M-hm.”

“Darling girl, we don’t have a lemon tree. Do you think we ought to get one?” You think for a moment. Remus watches your expression, wishing he had a photograph of you in this (and every) moment, all sunkissed and happy. “I don’t think so,” You decide. “We haven’t the space and if we did, neither of us like lemons enough to find a whole tree useful.”

“Probably true.” You stand on your tip-toes to kiss him, hands laced around the back of Remus’ neck. He presses his hand affectionately to your cheeks- the skin there is still warm. “Are you burnt?”

“Not terribly,” You admit, smiling guiltily at his raised eyebrows. “The sun’s not nearly so fierce anymore. I have aloe vera in the glovebox of your car, we can get it if you’re ready to head home.”

Remus laughs softly, more out of affection than anything. He’d want you forever in the summer, warm and tasting of fruit punch, if you weren’t equally lovely in the wintertime when he can dress you in his jumpers and share hot chocolates. 

“I don’t want to pull you away from the party,” He says. It’s not the whole truth; if he could take you home this moment and kiss you more than would be appropriate down the side of his best friends’ house, he would, but you’re so outgoing and he’d hate to cut your day short. 

“Plenty of people are leaving,” You assure him, as if you can read his mind. He wouldn’t put it past you. “We won’t be hurting any feelings. You’ve valiantly made it through six entire hours, I’m very impressed.”

Remus doesn’t feel very valiant, tempted as he is by the thought of a book on the sofa with your feet in his lap. He hates the idea that he’s dulling your happiest moments for you, irritated by even the dearest of his friends far more quickly than you are. You’re really the only person who has the opposite effect; he can’t seem to be around you enough, even when you’re right in front of him.

“I’ll find a way to help inside.” “No, don’t,” You shake your head. “I’m happy to head off. Just give me a moment to say goodbye?”

You’re so sweet that Remus has to press another kiss to your soft lips, knowing he has at least another half-hour before you’re finished bidding farewell to the small crowd on the lawn and not minding in the least. “Of course, lovely girl.”

“Thanks, lovely boy,” You laugh softly, mirroring his gentle tone and holding his face tenderly in both hands. “I’m excited to tell you the gossip I learned.”

He raises his eyebrows, intrigued. As little as Remus enjoys having the conversations wherein he would learn gossip for more than a moment, he very much likes hearing you relaying news from your group of friends to him in front of the telly. 

“I’ll meet you by the car,” He says, reluctantly letting go of you. You smile. 

“See you then, handsome.” 

[bri-cheeses]

Our Little Secret - Part 2

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 787 | Part one is here |

-

“Can’t you just tell me plainly like any other normal person?”

Evan ignored that.

“Ravenclaw party. Fourth year.”

“What?” Barty asked, shocked back into bewilderment once more.

“That’s when I figured out I liked guys.”

Barty’s response was a beat late. “Uh… okay?”

“Do you want to know how?” Evan pressed. He took a step forward. He wasn’t sure whether he was gratified or angry that Barty took a step back.

“Yeah, sure,” Barty huffed. “Whatever gets you to finally spit it out.”

Evan closed his eyes. Barty’s barbed words were almost enough to stop him from saying it, but he had already made up his mind. And he doubted that their relationship could really be salvaged now that they had both managed to mess it up so terribly, so really, there was nothing holding him back anymore.

He opened his eyes slowly, calling to mind dim lights, bad music, and too many teenagers in one space. He took a deep breath.

“You were dancing with this girl,” he began slowly. “I don’t even know who it was, because I didn’t spare her a second glance. Not when you were there next to her, dancing and smiling like you were having the time of your life. And then you looked back over to me and somehow you smiled even wider, then gave me this stupid little wink and in that moment all I could think was how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Barty’s breath hitched. Evan ignored it.

“Olivia Gleaves, fourth year again. The first ever girlfriend you had, who I hated so fiercely that Cas had to corner me and tell me to knock it off, that you were my best friend, yes, but that didn’t mean I could feel entitled to being your number one person all the time. And so I shut up and stopped glaring and I was a good little “best friend” until you two broke up three weeks later.”

“Barret Fay, fifth year. The first guy you ever kissed. Coincidentally, I broke my hand that night, and a dent found its way into the wall. Lucky for me, I suppose, that we had a big Transfiguration paper due the next day and I could easily write it off as frustration with schoolwork.

“December 16th, fifth year. We got caught under the mistletoe, and instead of laughing it off and kissing me on the cheek like you had with every single one of our friends, you refused to even touch me and spent the dinner afterwards eating in complete silence, and I made sure to never walk through doorways with you again during the holiday season.

“Cooper Covenhelm, sixth year. The first actual boyfriend you ever had, and the first guy to threaten me to stay out of the way and to not talk to you unless I absolutely had to. So I took the back burner for the next two months and let Regulus fill in as your best friend, then tried not to let anything slip when you finally cornered me and asked why I had been avoiding you. I don’t remember what I said, but you broke up with Cooper a week later and I felt so relieved I could hardly breathe.

“There are a bunch of other things I could talk about. The runs I started going on just to get a break from you and clear my head. All the people who threw themselves at me but I rejected because I was too hung up on someone else. The way Regulus figured it out at the end of last year and actually looked sad on my behalf, because, I’m assuming, he knew how impossible it was, too. The fact that I lied about what I smelled in Amortentia, the way literally everyone else in our friend group has figured it out, that time that you accidentally stole one of my shirts and I didn’t say anything because I liked how you looked in it… the way you kissed me last night, then told me just now that it was a mistake and I should keep quiet about it.”

“So you’ll excuse me if I’m a little angry right now. But I’m sure that you’re right. It was a mistake, and I’ll keep quiet about it because that’s what I’m best at, isn’t it?”

Evan waited a beat for Barty to say something, then shook his head when nothing came. He should’ve known better than to expect anything, honestly.

“I’m going to breakfast,” was all Evan said. And he turned around and walked away, cursing Barty for never being able to see him as anything more than a friend, and hating himself for hoping that he ever would.

-

(Part three)

[theotherbuckley]

I like you (because you're you) - bucktommy 2K

read on ao3

“Who was that?” Tommy asks, walking up to where Buck’s sat on the couch, phone placed down in his lap. They’d just finished dinner, Buck had cooked a delicious pasta dish that had Tommy coming back for seconds. He’d told Buck how much he liked it, and Buck had promised he’d make it again before his phone started buzzing and he’d apologised before taking the call.

Buck gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His cheerful self from earlier seemingly replaced with a faded version. He has this distant look in his eyes which he quickly blinks away before he speaks. “Uh, that was my friend Connor. He, uh, just wanted some of my medical records.” He waves his hand like it’s no big deal. It isn’t. Not really. His brain is just being stupid, is all.

Tommy raises his eyebrows before frowning. “Why’d he need those?” He questions, coming to sit down next to Buck. He places his hand on Buck’s thigh momentarily, squeezing softly like he just knows that Buck needs a little bit of comfort right now even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

“Uh, their son was at a doctor's appointment, just having a check-up or something, and I’m well— they used my sperm so, you know, they just want to make sure everything is in order, I guess,” he rushes out the last part, desperate to get the words out like if he says it fast enough Tommy won’t even realise what he’s said and it won’t cause any issues. 

Tommy’s brows rise further as he takes that in. Buck watches him process, afraid that his life will once again be too much for someone, and they’ll walk out. It’s what people do — when Buck inevitably becomes too much and when they decide what he’s offering, what he can’t give them, isn’t enough in return, they leave.

“Is that— is that a problem?” Buck hates the way his voice wavers as he speaks. Hates the way he can’t hide his emotions at all. He really likes Tommy, really wants him to stick around. He’ll do what he can to make that happen. He’ll make himself more useful so that Tommy won’t want to leave. He’ll—

“No, no, of course not.” Tommy says it like there’s no other answer. Like he can’t imagine anyone thinking that’s a problem. Buck waits for the inevitable ‘but’.

“But.” Buck braces. “But I’m just surprised I’ve never heard of this guy before is all,” Tommy says. Buck exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Oh uh, yeah, we— we aren’t really close.”

“But you donated sperm for him?” There’s genuine confusion in his voice.

“Yeah, well, I guess— he asked. I may not have spoken to him in a while but, I wasn’t gonna say no.”

“You have the biggest heart, Evan. I think what you did is incredibly honourable. How are they doing now?” Tommy asks gently, seemingly comfortable to move the conversation on.

“I’m—I'm not actually sure.” He sighs. “That was the first time they’d called since the birth. And that was only because they needed something.” He laughs at the end like his words don’t speak to some greater insecurity deep inside him. Like it doesn’t hurt that his friend hasn’t talked to him until they needed him.

“Ah,” Tommy says, and Buck can here the judgement dripping from his mouth. He’s not sure exactly what he’s done, but it’s always something. Maybe he should have been the one to check in on them, maybe—

“I don’t think he sounds like a very good friend,” Tommy states. 

Buck frowns, he didn’t expect him to say that. The truth is, Buck sometimes wonders that himself. What he lands on instead is that there must be something wrong with him. Because it’s not just Connor who wants things from him and then doesn’t care about any other part of Buck. It’s just how it’s always been. People take, and Buck gives. He gives, and he gives, and it’s never quite enough, but he tries.

“Sometimes I feel like people only like me when I’m useful,” Buck admits in a whisper, letting the words stuck inside his head free. It’s not that he thinks it; he knows it. He knows he’s only worth something when people can use him, and he’s lived with that his whole life. He was born to save someone, and he failed, but that’s his whole purpose even now. 

He saves people for a living. He’ll babysit whenever anybody asks, he’ll be your trivia partner when you need to win. He’ll let his friends use him for his sperm. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to. He does. He loves doing these things for his friends because he can. But sometimes it hurts a little knowing that it’s not him that they want. They just… like his ability to do things.

“Evan, I like you. Regardless of anything you can or can’t do. I like you.” Tommy emphasises the you like Buck being Buck is somehow special.

Buck can’t stop the wet laugh that escapes his throat. He shakes his head, sniffles before composing himself. “No, no,” he says, because it’s not true, it can’t be. “But—but it’s okay because I’ll make sure you don’t get bored of my I-I’ll cook dinner, and I’ll do the dishes, and I’ll make sure we always win at trivia and— and I don’t know anything about cars or Muay Thai, but I’ll learn.” Buck’s rambling, the words tumbling out of his mouth in one breath. He needs to make sure Tommy knows that he’ll do his best; even if it’s hard, he’ll be useful because then Tommy will stay, and he really wants Tommy to stay.

“Evan.” It’s that soft voice again. Placating, like he’s talking to a small child. Like he’s trying to get him to listen.

Buck shifts his gaze from the floor to Tommy. He looks sad. Buck wishes he wasn’t the one to make him look like that. He tries to smile at him, anything to bring those soft creases at the edges of Tommy’s eyes back, but his heart’s not really in it.

“Evan,” Tommy says again, locking his eyes on Buck’s. “You don’t need to be useful for me to like you. I like you because you’re adorable. I like you because you’re funny and you don’t care what people think. ‘Who cares’, right?” Tommy chuckles. Buck likes that sound. “I like that you were willing to try again with me, even if you bought me god-awful coffee with it.” Buck lets out a wet chuckle at that. “I look at you, Evan, and I see someone who cares so deeply about your friends. Willing to put your life on the line for others. But it’s more than that, I like the way you ramble about random things you find on the internet, and how you try out 100 different lasagna recipes because you need to find the right one even though you burn half of them.”

“Hey!” Buck says in weak protest. He’s right, though. There’s a warmth in his chest at the fact that Tommy noticed.

Tommy keeps going. “I like how big your smile gets when you talk about Chris or Jee-Yun. I like the way that your cheeks turn the colour of your birthmark when you’re flustered. I just— I really like you, Evan. You could— you don’t have to cook for me every day or give me the answers at trivia night for me to want you to stick around. I like you because you’re you.”

Buck can’t stop the tears trickling down his cheeks. His whole life has been about being useful, and it’s so hard to believe anything different but the way Tommy talks about him. Like maybe he really does see him. “I don’t know how to— I want to believe you but it’s just, every relationship I’ve had has felt like people want something from me. Abby needed help when her mom died, and then she just left. I always felt like Ali just wanted a place to crash when she was in town. I mean, she’s the reason I have this apartment in the first place. Taylor just wanted sex at first, and then she started getting insights into news stories from the firehouse, and she always valued that more than spending time with me. She’d ask me how my day was, not because she cared but because she wanted to know if there was anything worth writing about. Hell, she even published a book about me. Even after it was over, she used me as much as she could.” The tears are flowing faster now, and his voice cracks as he speaks. It’s stupid to get so emotional about this, but Buck can’t stop now. Now that he’s opened the faucet of this insecurity of his, it’s like everything he’s been bottling inside is bubbling to the surface and he can’t stop it.

“And Nat—Natalia,” Buck continues, hiccuping through his tears. “She just wanted to understand my death. Asked me a hundred— a hundred questions about what it was like, and at first, I thought maybe she could actually see me, but I feel like she was just using me for something too.” Buck wipes his face. He’s sure he must look like a mess right now — tear-streaked face, snot dripping down from his nose. Tommy doesn’t deserve to deal with all this. “Sorry,” Buck chuckles,  the sound getting caught in his throat. “You didn’t need to hear about all that.”

“Hey,” Tommy says, moving closer towards Buck. He tucks his fingers under Buck’s chin forcing him to look Tommy in the eyes. He holds Buck’s face tenderly in his hand, always so gentle. “You can talk to me about anything, and I will listen, okay?”

“I don’t want to bore you,” Buck says softly, moving to look down at the ground once more but Tommy doesn’t let him get away, holding him firmly yet soft, like Buck’s something precious.

“You couldn’t,” Tommy replies sincerely. “If it weren’t for you, how else would I know that the Australians started a war on emus, huh?” He jokes.

“And lost,” Buck whispers because he can’t help it.

“And lost!” Tommy repeats. Buck had gone on a tangent about it just the other day. He’d gone to the zoo with Christopher, and they’d been having a lot of fun until they stood too close to the fence, and an emu had come up and startled them. Buck had decided in that moment that he needed to find out every single detail about them, which led him to discovering that in 1932, Australia declared war on emus —and then proceeded to lose. He’d met up with Tommy after and rambled about his findings because he thought it was absolutely hilarious. Tommy sat there smiling at him, evidently listening to every word that he said, taking it in and remembering it all.

“I like listening to you talk, Evan. I like you. And I’ll tell you that as much as you need to hear. Now,” Tommy claps his hands together. “Tomorrow, I’m cooking for you. You don’t need to do anything except sit there and look pretty. Let someone do something for you for once. Okay?”

Buck just nods, wiping at his eyes before slumping into Tommy’s now open arms and relishing in the comfort of his boyfriend. He doesn’t quite believe him, not yet. He wants to. It’s just prior experience has moulded his brain a certain way and now he just can’t believe any different. He wants to. He wants someone to like him, to love him, even when he can’t be useful. He hopes that maybe Tommy will show him that that’s possible.

For now, he tucks his head into Tommy’s shoulder, clutches onto him like he’s going to disappear and lets himself be held. Tommy kisses his birthmark like it’s sacred, holds him and tells him he likes him over and over. Buck thinks maybe he really does.

[hadesrise]

## in your name !!

summary──── you unexpectedly defend barty from your friends.

pairings──── bartemius “barty” crouch jr. x hufflepuff!male reader

warnings──── sfw content, foul language, sunshine and sunshine protector trope, discrimination, asshole friends, friends to lovers, badassery lol, people are a lot prejudiced in this

author’s note──── i headcanon him as ravenclaw, sorry. also i think hufflepuffs are scary as fuck when they’re mad. I DO NOT HATE LILY OR JAMES AND SIRIUS. please don't misunderstand that 🥲

Unpleasant whispers filled the Great Hall particularly from Gryffindor’s table as everyone watched the little-to-no-good trio take a seat on the Hufflepuff’s table and settle themselves there uncaring of the whispers, Barty sitting down right beside you while Evan and Regulus sat on the opposite side. Despite noticing the unpleasant looks being thrown at your company, you smiled at Barty after seeing how comfortable and relaxed he seemed.

“Hey, B.” You softly greeted, eyes twinkling in admiration and cheerfulness. “Nice to see you lads too, Evan and Regulus.” Greeting politely, Evan and Regulus each sent you a small smile before falling into a calm conversation with one another, which made you wonder why they’re here in the first place, but you figured it’s because Barty’s here.

“How’s your potions class?” Barty questioned, starting off with casual conversation while beginning to eat.

The Marauders watched as you respond to Barty with a kind smile on your face and not an ounce of hatred nor distaste for being surrounded by the three most infamous persons in Hogwarts, aside from Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, and Bellatrix Black. The softness of your expression didn’t even change. No one understands how a golden boy like you could hang out with people like... them, considering you’re the most kindest, softest, brightest person Hogwarts has ever had. You’re easily approachable and has the heart of gold that is almost impossible to be tainted, treating everyone equally while plastering on that pleasant smile of yours.

You’re practically a walking safe space for everyone. Reliable, trustworthy, loyal, patient, generous, kind, humorous, ambitious, all of them combined is what you are — a perfect person.

Or at least, that’s how others perceive you. Though, it’s not their fault for seeing you like that, you figured.

The way you’ve presented yourself in public is probably why they think of you as this perfect and divine person that is always good and never evil. You’re kind of flattered by them, but it also makes you feel as if expectations are squeezing down your throat hard.

“How the fuck does he tolerate him?” Sirius Black exclaimed in genuine confusion, referring to you engaging in conversations with a guy who clearly meant bad news.

“Language,” Remus Lupin, without looking up from his book, scolded gently. “I’m sure it’s because he has more patience than you. He also doesn’t seem to care what other people say.”

“But it’s not good for him to be hanging out with Barty, don’t you think?” Lily Evans worriedly spoke from beside Remus as Marlene Mckinnon, who sat by her side, nodded in agreement. They knew how nice you were, so seeing you carelessly talk to Barty without hesitation makes them worried, especially when Barty’s practically apart of the Slytherins that are far from pleasant from how much time he spends with them instead of his own house. They knew him, and he definitely cannot be called a good person.

“Er... We don’t know for sure.” Peter shrugs, “I mean, it’s really not for us to decide who he should hang out with.”

“Peter’s right,” Remus immediately agreed, “There’s not much we can do if he’s hanging out with them. It’s not our business, and even though he’s kind, I don’t think he would appreciate anyone butting their heads into his business. After all, he has his own thoughts.”

Even then, Lily was worried while Sirius did not understand. They returned their attention to you and Barty after hearing your laughter erupt in the Great Hall amongst murmurs and talkings of other students, seeing you playfully punching Barty’s arm and him having an overly amused and proud look on his face for making you laugh. You seem to be fairly enjoying yourself in Remus’ and Peter’s perspective, but of course, those who have a childish disdain towards Slytherin and their associates would rather be blind to it than face the reality.

You’re clearly happy with having Barty as a friend and certainly doesn’t mind who he hangs out with; endlessly friendly and nice to his two best friends, even greeting them with a warm smile. As a matter of fact, it made you seem more matured than anyone else, how you never discriminate, judge, accuse or hate anyone based on their house, rumours, or first impressions. You see everyone for who they are, not what people think of them as.

Resting his elbow on the table and chin on his palm, Barty simply admired you as you talk about your day while putting some meals on his plate, making sure none of the meals contained his least favorite food. “Defense against the Dark Arts is such an entertaining lesson, B. It certainly levels up my defensive spells. I’ve been practicing them where no one will get harmed and proudly, I’ve improved a lot.” You told with utter excitement as you finished putting meals on his plate, moving to put some on your plate next. “I could show you later if you want? And perhaps, you can give me feedbacks on what I should work on.”

Barty was almost too busy admiring you, though he was quick to respond. “That’s a brilliant. Maybe we could even duel once you’ve mastered it."

You winced, “Can you not go hard on me? I’m still not confident with my duelling, you know.”

“Oh well, confidence is the key!” Barty says with excitement, genuinely wanting to duel with you. “You should try being full of yourself and think, ‘I can fucking do this’ ‘cause it works. That’s how I got pass that bloody awful Divination class.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head, as if it was the worst ever experience of his life.

A giggle erupted from your throat, which made Barty’s lips twitch up to form a smile. It may be unexpected to others, but to you, Barty always smiled and you witnessed every single one of those moments.

“Professor McGonagall will hex you if she hears that,” You joked while still laughing, leaning on him.

He wraps an arm around your shoulder to keep you on his side, grinning. “That’s just an if, you know.” Wiggling his brows, you giggled at his silliness and also wrapped an arm around his waist naturally, gaining a few raised brows and looks from other houses.

Evan and Regulus merely smiled at your interaction before scowling and exchanging eye contact, people’s reactions catching their attention despite being mild. It’s absolutely unpleasant, how they look at you and Barty as if you’re doing something criminal. They look at you with such disapproval that couldn’t help but cause Evan and Regulus to furrow their brows and narrow their eyes — it’s almost unbelievable how everyone loves you when you’re with your own house, Gryffindors, or Ravenclaws, but when you hang out with Slytherins or anyone close to them, you’re suddenly unlikable. As if you were the Public’s property, like you’re supposed to do what they tell you to do. It feels almost as if they want to control who you hang out with.

It’s more than unpleasant, the two Slytherin thought. It’s awful, how everyone seemingly wants you to act the way they expect you to.

Do you even realise the way those people who you consider friends look at you whenever you hang out with Barty? Have you ever looked around to see their eyes screaming disappointment? What would you think once you notice?

Barty seemed to be putting all his trust in you, nearly taking his heart out for you to carry it around; they don’t want their best friend to lose someone who’s literally the safe place and comfort zone. They were worried about Barty, but also worried for you.

Unfortunatelly, worrying made them miss the way you piercingly stared at someone who looked at Barty with disgust when he wasn’t looking, before plastering on an angelic smile to your best friend as soon as the bastard flinched and looked away.

I hope no one attempts to cut my patience off today, you thought with a smile while listening to him talk enthusiastically about the fun time he messed with Lucius’ potion so bad that it exploded on Snape, not knowing you’ll be in for a surprise later on.

“What are you up to later?” Evan questioned as the three of them strolled through the hallway and ignored the obnoxious pranksters with red and gold tie, trying to find a place where peace actually exists and no judgmental look from anyone.

“Studying with (Y/n).” Barty grins, holding up a pile of books. There seems to be little unnoticeable bounces in his steps as excitement bubbles within him.

Regulus gives him a weird look, “Are you pretending to be stupid so you could study with him?”

“What’s the matter with it? It’s not like he’ll know.”

“You are literally a Ravenclaw.”

“Don’t stereotype me, Reg. It’s getting old, you’re old.”

“You’re making it seem as if he’s that stupid enough not to know you’re just pretending.”

An offended gasp was heard.

“No, I am not!”

Evan chuckled at their playful banter.

Despite Regulus seemingly making fun of Barty’s tactics to spend more time with you, Evan knew he was internally happy for their best friend. The heavy expectations from his father has been taking a toll on Barty a lot, which caused some inner doubts to appear that almost always led to mental breakdowns that lasted longer than an hour. He never had been comfortable with anyone besides them and Pandora, and they were truly happy when you accepted Barty warmly without caring about the rumours or how people viewed him. It feels quite relieving to see Barty radiate happiness now.

However, the three of them comes to a halt in the hallway when a voice filled with distaste erupts from the courtyard, asking a particular question to a person no other than you.

“How can you even be with people like them?”

Barty, Evan, and Regulus glanced at one another before walking silently closer and peeking at the courtyard, seeing you sat on the cemented bench while playing Wizard’s Chess with Marlene, surrounded by your friends who were mostly Gryffindors. There’s only one Ravenclaw, the same house as Barty, yet he’s the one who questioned it.

You got distracted to his question as you tilt your head, “What are you talking about?”

The trio quickly ducks when the Marauders come running out of other hallways to the courtyard with loud laughters, definitely disturbing other students, and join you by the bench. Quickly noticing the strange silence, Remus tilted his head. “Why is everyone so quiet?”

“Because Leo asked how he can even spend time with people like them.” Marlene explains shortly with emphasis, which let everyone know exactly who they were talking about.

The werewolf sighs, covering his face and shaking his head. “We’re talking about this again?”

Barty wondered how much had he and his friends been the subject of your conversation, his guts twisting negatively.

“I still am unaware who you’re referring to,” You chimed in with visible confusion, now forgetting about the chess. Silence fills all of them, the Marauders and Lily glancing at each other as Marlene also can’t help but forget the chess, while your other Gryffindor friends look at you as if it’s strange that you still don’t pick up on it.

The Ravenclaw — Leo gives you a look, “Are you dense? I’m talking about Barty Crouch Jr. and his little goons.” He rolled his eyes.

You frowned, “They have a name, if you didn’t know. Regulus Black and Evan Rosier.”

Barty recognised the discomfort and disapproval in your tone, how you seemingly understood quickly that Leo intends to talk ill about them. He didn’t miss the way your shoulders tensed and body language display a defensive gesture, which rarely ever happens. You’re always accepting and welcoming of other people with that big smile plastered on your face; when your body language changes, that just means someone had overstepped your boundaries. No one else seem to realise it.

One of the Gryffindors, Beth, rolls her eyes and gives you a disgusted look. “I don’t know how you can be nice to those Death Eater freaks. Slytherins are literally evil, look at their ancestors!”

“Yeah, they also pick on almost everyone.” Karen agreed, crossing her arms. “I mean, can’t you see how much of a bad influence they are? Barty’s supposed to be hanging out with members from his own house yet here he is, and look how he turned out.”

“I bet his father’s really disappointed and disgusted,” Leo snickered, earning laughter from the two Gryffindor girls.

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas pulsed their lips into a thin line as Remus and Peter frowned, clearly uncomfortable with the insults and comments that crosses the line, while James and Sirius fell silent since even though they had personal dislike for Slytherin, they wouldn’t go as far as your friends were going. Regulus is also Sirius’ brother, and he doesn’t like hearing anyone talk about his little brother like that.

When Sirius opened his mouth to defend his brother, the words end up being stuck in his throat after witnessing how your warm look morphed into an emotionless, expressionless face that made his blood run cold.

“You are fucking pathetic,” You snarled with a low and cold yet loud tone that had made the entire courtyard fall into utter silence as everyone — including others who were just around — look at you with wide, shocked eyes. Your friends visibly flinched at the piercing harsh glare you shot them, calm storms of rage swarming in your eyes that usually displayed warmness and light. They could easily see the way your jaw clenched, which was definitely a sign that they dug their own graves for strong lightning to strike them until they’re nothing but bones and flesh.

Barty also stops in track, finding himself surprisingly intimidated and a bit afraid. Regulus completely went still as Evan slapped a hand over his mouth in shock. It’s already surprising that a Hufflepuff cursed at someone, but to see you, someone who’s always smiling and accepting and kind and unbelievably patient, someone who’s the Golden Boy and practically a gift from divine beings who seemed as if you didn’t even know what anger meant, so enraged? It is beyond jawdropping.

“What—” Karen speaks, but you interrupt.

“Have you ever realised how obnoxious you all sound when you mind my business rather than your own?” You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. “It sounds like pathetic cunts who pretend they’re righteous when all they’ve ever been are prejudiced hypocrites who judge others solely on the houses they’re in. You’re much more horrible than the Death Eater freaks you’re talking about.”

“What the bloody hell is your problem!?” Beth shrieked.

“You and your goons, duh.” You retorted while shooting her a look, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Mistreating Slytherins for what their ancestors did is completely childish and immature, especially when it was out of their control. If their ancestors joined the Death Eaters, then the one to be blamed is not them but the ancestors themselves.” You shifted your cold gaze to Leo and Karen, “Yes, I’ve seen the three of them pick on others and told Bartemius to stop, which he did. James and Sirius pick on Snape and other Slytherins a lot, so why haven’t you barked about that yet? Is this a thing where it’s alright when you or other Gryffindors do it, but suddenly evil and terrible when they do it?”

Karen swallows thickly, trying to hold her head high. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Really?” Your mocking tone implied you believed nothing as you stand up from the bench, leaning closer to her. She avoided eye contact, fearful. “What the fuck did you mean then?”

“Why are you like this?” Leo asked, intimidated. “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

You shot him a side-eye, raising your brows. “Think with your brain, Ravenclaw. Why am I like this exactly and are you certain you haven’t done anything wrong?” You plastered on a fake smile, “Honestly, I’m not upset, Leo. I’m enraged. My blood’s boiling within my body. I’m certain you know what enraged means as you’re a clever Ravenclaw, don’t you?”

He bit his lip and looked down in shame.

Barty’s mouth fell agape; what the fuck, he didn’t know you can be so sarcastic like this.

Sighing deeply, you stared at him from head to toe and tilted your head, the corner of your lips twisted up. “Bartemius is clearly wiser and smarter, though.” You shrugged, “At least he knows not to befriend a cunt like you.”

Lily steps closer to stop you, “Hey… I think that’s enough.”

“Not precisely, Evans. And don’t think I don’t know about how you think of Bartemius as well.” You look at her, unimpressed.

“We were just worried about you...” She whispered softly.

“What’s there to be worried of?” You snapped. “You all are treating Bartemius as if he and his friends are cold-blooded murderers. You see someone spending time with people in green, silver tie and your first thought is they’re horrible. The reason they become evil and horrible is because of people like you. Because you can’t and refuse to believe there’s good in them, because you would rather believe they can be anything but good than actually see who they are. You cannot handle being non-judgmental.”

Remus and Peter couldn’t help but smile at the truth in your words. The others still can’t react to your unusual change.

You sneered at your former friends, “And I hope you know you’re fucking pathetic and disgusting.” Utter disdain filled your expression, “Find someone else to cling onto. I’d rather be with Bartemius than you imbeciles.” Barty smiles happily at that as he subconsciously slips out of the shadow and into the courtyard. Regulus and Evan follows, standing a couple of steps behind. The Marauders noticed them immediately, eyes widening.

Ignoring the tears blimming in the Gryffindors’ eyes, you turn around only to face them back again, stepping closer with a death glare. “By the way, Leo. You ever insult Bartemius like that again with that filthy mouth of yours and I’ll fucking hex you.” You threatened before stepping back and waving goodbye with a seemingly friendly smile.

Everyone watch you turn around and jump slightly after bumping into Barty, who instantly beamed with happiness and joy radiating off of him, another thing that flabbergasted everyone.

“Oh Merlin! Hey, B!” You greet with the welcoming look now back on your expression, smiling warmly. “How long have you been standing there? And Regulus and Evan too.”

“Since the beginning, although we were hiding before you defended us.” Barty chuckled, his friends smiling behind him. He was trying to seem casual, but everyone noticed how he failed to hide the smile that’s been threatening to spread fully across his face.

“Don’t mind them, B. They’re just bitter ‘cause you rejected Leo three months ago.” You giggle, feeling better and calm now that Barty’s around, shoulders relaxed and body language displaying peaceful comfortable gesture.

Barty felt his heart swell at the realisation that you truly trusted him and would never change your treatment of him no matter what anyone says, finally having the confirmation that he, in fact, does like you. Who wouldn’t when you’re this amazing? He was already feeling it, but to actually realise it was the right thing to happen? He can’t fucking contain it.

He can’t help but to shake his head with the biggest smile anyone has ever seen him have, “Bloody hell, I really do like you a lot.”

You froze at that.

Barty widened his eyes, about to take back, when you pulled him by his nape with one hand and kissed him gently. Evan whistled as Regulus let out a chuckle and high fived each other. Barely able to kiss you back, disappointment appears in his face after you pulled away too soon.

A smirk spreads across your lips, “You’ll get more later. You’re a good boy, after all.” You lightly tugged the hair on his nape before walking away and winking at Regulus and Evan.

“What— Wait— love, come on!” Barty stutters at the praise, flustered, as he immediately rushes off to follow you. His friends both turn around to follow him with their eyes, amusement written on their faces.

Regulus smirks, “Walk him like a dog.”

Evan instantly bursts into laughter. Well, at least he now has someone who will defend him in his name.

© all rights reserved to hadesrise ──── stealing, plagiarising, or using my works for monetary gain is strictly prohibited. ask permission before reposting or translating.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anonymous Request: James is jealous because he thinks Barty and Regulus are dating.

Jegulus - Rated T

James didn’t hate many people.

Okay, that was a lie. He hated serial killers, of course. And like…bigots. And Walburga Black. Fuck that bitch.

But really, that was all warranted. Normal. Rational.

His hatred for Barty Crouch, Jr?

Completely irrational.

-

He tried to put a reason to it. “He’s just so ugh,” he would complain, watching as the taller boy laid himself over Regulus Black’s lap. Peter would just roll his eyes and chuckle.

-

“He’s bloody annoying!” he would burst out, watching the sixth year plant a loud kiss on Regulus’s cheek, Regulus blushing profusely. Remus would scoff and ignore him.

-

“I wish he’d just go somewhere else!” He almost yelled, staring across the lake at Barty wrapping his arm lightly around Regulus’s waist. But Sirius just looked over at the two Slytherins and looked back at James, smirking.

-

“I hate Crouch!” James exclaimed again one night, storming back into their dorm, to a chorus of grains from his friends. 

“I miss him prattling on about Evans,” Peter murmured quietly to himself.

“Oi, Prongs?” Remus called from Sirius’s bed, where the two lay. “You know Crouch isn’t dating Regulus, right?”

James stared. “I- what does that have to do with-?” he stuttered indignantly.

“Prongs. Prongs. Prongsie. Prongs, darling,” Sirius drawled, pulling himself into a sitting position. “You only ever get annoyed with Barty when he’s all over my little brother.”

James thought about that. “No. No! No, I-” he argued.

“We’ve all agreed,” Sirius interrupted, gesturing to Remus and Peter, who were nodding. “You don’t hate Barty. You fancy Reg. Which is good, I guess, because Barty’s dating Evan Rosier. I mean, it’s not great, though. Because I don’t know how hard you were hit on the head to fancy Reg, but-”

“Point is, you’re being an idiot,” Remus cut in dryly.

But James wasn’t paying attention. He was thinking. Reflecting.

“Fuck. Sirius, I think I like your brother,” he murmured after a minute in a shocked voice, the information making him feel oddly light.

“No shit, James.”

[maxdibert]

Why do you think part of the fandom views Snape as an obsessive incel who thought he had a right to Lily? He never said anything negative about her, never followed or harassed her after she told him to leave, never commented on her body, or disrespected her sexually out of "rejection." I think he showed more respect for her marriage, referring to her as Lily Potter, than the fandom does when they insist on calling her Lily Evans.

It feels like every day, people discover new words and use them in ways completely detached from their original meaning.

I think you’ve mentioned something crucial: the fact that Severus refers to her as Lily Potter, and that’s something very important that people completely overlook. I mean, Severus knew Lily from before Hogwarts, from childhood. He knew her as Lily Evans, and to him, she was probably always Lily Evans—just as, for any of us, our childhood friends remain the kids we knew, regardless of whether they get married or change their names. That’s just how it works. If we call them something different, it’s because we know they want it that way or out of sheer respect, nothing more.

Moreover, Severus stopped talking to Lily when she was still Evans. He never knew Lily Potter—the Lily he knew was not Potter, and yet he refers to her as Lily Potter because he knows that’s who she is now, that’s her name, that’s her life. If Severus were truly an obsessive person incapable of accepting Lily’s choice to be with James, and so on, then he wouldn’t call her Lily Potter. He’d call her Evans. If Severus thought he had any chance with Lily if James were out of the picture, he’d call her Evans, not Potter. He would never acknowledge her as James Potter’s wife or see her as part of the Potter family. But he does. He’s aware. Lily is married, and his advocacy for her has nothing to do with thinking he might have a chance with her. It’s about the fact that she was the only person he truly considered a friend and an emotional support, and he didn’t want that person to die. Period.

Severus NEVER went around chasing Lily down the hallways. They were friends from the time they were 8 or 9 years old. It was a reciprocal relationship. They spent time together because they both wanted to—she did too. When Lily stopped wanting that, they stopped being friends, and there’s no evidence in the canon, nor even any comments, suggesting that Severus went after Lily once she cut ties with him. Interestingly, what we hear about is that he continued his bad relationship with the Marauders, and that had nothing to do with Lily. Their issues were because they tormented Severus, and he defended himself. She was not a factor in that equation.

Snape haters basically use Lily as a token of misogyny to justify the hate they throw at Severus. They don’t want to acknowledge that Severus is a victim of their favorite characters because they don’t want to deal with the fact that they’re fans of flawed characters who did bad things. So, they turn the victim into the abuser to justify their arguments in support of bullying and mistreatment. It’s a way of twisting the narrative to validate the actions of abusers, plain and simple. It’s like someone saying a woman who’s a victim of domestic violence deserved it because she fought back by stabbing her aggressor—same idea. Or that she deserved it because of the kind of life she led. It’s the same thing. Pure victim-blaming, just disguised.

[augustuscaesarsalad]

I love fandom, I love making shit up, and I love evil characters. I love morally gray characters, nuisances, losers, and villains! I love completely inventing backstories and character motivations and all that jazz.

That all being said, I find something profoundly frustrating about the Marauders fandom and their view of Snape. If you choose to believe that Regulus was lead astray by the Death Eaters, then you have to think the same about Snape, because it’s true! If you think that Regulus is a hero for betraying Voldemort, cool! But he did it for even MORE selfish of a reason than Snape, and then he died. Snape lived the rest of his life working to defeat Voldemort, he is also the reason that Harry survived ANY of the books, and is the reason Harry found out he was a Horcrux. Was Snape wrong for calling Lily a Mudblood? Yes! Do you honestly believe that Regulus, Barty, Evan, and Bellatrix weren’t calling people Mudbloods left and right? Be so fucking fr right now. Snape was groomed to join a cult, he was a completely vulnerable member of society with nobody supporting him, no rich family, no one standing up for him, and the people on the so-called “Light side” were tormenting him nonstop. To me, that’s much more sympathetic than “his rich family told him to join the death eaters so he did!” Fandom Regulus is kind of repackaged Snape tbh, and I’d be fine with it if it didn’t come along with so much Snape hate. Snape is mean, vindictive, and spiteful, and I love him for that. I also love Regulus for being Kreacher’s number one supporter and having a homemade Voldemort collage in his bedroom! It’s fun! And that’s what fandom is about! Also, about Snape being a mean teacher, when I was a kid and I read the books for the first time, I straight up never thought he was that mean. I was raised doing ballet, and any Vaganova technique teacher is wayyyyyyyy more mean than Snape lmao. (Not that Snape wasn’t mean, don’t get me wrong, he was, but I can still like him lol)

I guess in conclusion, people need to stop hating on Snape tbh it’s getting really old. Why are any of the Death Eaters (former and otherwise) fine and good in Marauders fans eyes except for Snape? He’s the one who actually contributed to the good of the world. If you can like Barty fucking Crouch Jr then you can like Snape lmao, one of them was a complete creep and it’s sure as hell is not Snape! Snape serves cunt too.

Anyways lol