#i don’t know what’s worse?
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something something birth control something something something’s wrong something something internalized feelings one cant quite understand
((sorry for making such a personal thing on my funny account ive just been feeling ways))
#worst loop ive ever been through#i dunno what if i like my high testosterone#i don’t know what’s worse?#ive got a lot of inner clarifying to do#they’re all telling me “don’t change yourself be happy with your body! if your body is Wrong#fix it! Don’t get sick!”#i dunno i don’t wanna be that “girl girl” i jus wanna be myself.#gender nonconforming#and shit yknow?#the fact i was presented with an opportunity to do just that at birth#taking it away with pills feels horirble#shit im crying now#pcos#vent#vent art#digital art#ibis paint x#comic
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i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw
#camera talks#disability stuff#this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3#i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually#this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho)#chronic pain#chronic migraine#migraines#chronically ill#disabled#disclaimer because idk I’ve got a lot of notes on this#I have diagnosed chronic migraines. I used to have them 5-6 times a week#now with medication on a good week I’ll only be affected 2-3 days#on bad weeks it’s much worse#anyways don’t doubt my condition I know what I’m talking about thx
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more lesbingqiu lol
they have a scheduled cuddle time where sqq gets to rant about the novel she’s reading and Binghe gets to stare at her while going insane. And then they kiss <3
Binghe is very normal about her wife 🥰
Here’s the doodles from Binghe’s thought bubble. I thought they were silly :]
#I don’t know why I’m only capable of drawing them fem#I always set out to draw them normally and then go “but u know what would make this BETTER”#they’d be both better and worse as lesbians#Also I get to draw pretty women so that’s a plus :)#I think about them a very normal amount#svsss#my art#digital art#svsss fanart#mxtx svsss#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#luo bingge#i guess#bingqiu#lesbingqiu#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#fem binghe#fem shen qingqiu
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my last half a braincell told me to make whatever this is
#ninjago#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#ninjago firstbourne#i don’t know what I’m doing either that concussion must be worse than I thought haha
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Aftermath.
It was an unfortunate truth of reality that heroes were oftentimes a reactive force. They could only respond to what they knew about.
So whenever the heroes uncovered an illegal lab, it typically had a history. Experiments that had been performed there already. Horrors no one in their right mind would want to bear witness to.
But someone had to go through all those records left behind. To risk the worst of humanity’s crimes in search of any potential clues. Often, they found little that was useful. Maybe some closure for the families of the missing, at most. But sometimes, sometimes they did find things. Their work could save lives.
That didn’t change the fact that few in their departments lasted long, and even fewer could ever sleep soundly.
The man took a deep breath and attempted to steel himself. He knew it wouldn’t help.
He clicked on the file anyway.
GIW Research Logs, Project HLFA, subject DP-01, Experiment #0001.
#thinking about how some poor souls will have to go through all the evil lab things to look for clues#and how that could relate to the heroes finding out about the GIW *after* they’d captured Danny#what’s worse than finding a kid being experimented on? *not* finding the kid but knowing in visceral detail that the experiments happened#is he still alive? did he get out? they don’t know. they can’t know for sure unless they find him or see the outcome on one of the logs#but what if they don’t see him die? is he still out there? they can’t stop looking#and if he didn’t survive? they can’t change a damn thing. all they can do is mourn and try to stop the ones that did it.#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#vivisected danny fenton#past vivisected danny fenton#ghost investigation ward#giw (danny phantom)#guys in white#i took way too long trying to word this properly and i’m still not 100% satisfied but whatever good enough
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I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#he’s so wonderful frfr#my poor boy is traumatized but still so proud of what they accomplished because they’re HEROES#what started as something fun - Saturday morning cartoon-like heroes vs villains esque - soon becomes his calling#and he loses himself a little along the way#because the world is TERRIFYING now#if they don’t do something about the bad things in the world then worse things will come#and Raph CARES too much to let it happen#even at the expense of his own happiness and youth#and he luckily reigns back that fear - knowing his family is there to keep an eye out with him#and he finally lets himself be a kid again#he’s very well rounded and his flaws are so good because (like the others) they are ALSO his strengths#I like how it’s softly implied that bears are his fav animal too bc that’s cute af#headcanon that he likes them so much because a stuffed bear was the first toy splinter managed to get Raph#but yeah one of my favorite things about tmnt is that the characters are well rounded and rottmnt exemplifies that immensely#with raph being no exception!!#amazing big brother and character#there’s a REASON in my tmnt main character tierlist he’s S tier!!!!#hot take but in terms of who should be leader I think it should be less who’s the better leader-#-and more who’s the better leader FOR THIS SPECIFIC MISSION#bc all four can be great leaders fight me on that#APRIL can as well 100%#doesn’t need a designated leader for them to succeed#they just need ~communication~#one of my favorite things tying Raph and Leo together is that they both *hide*#I’ve talked about Leo’s many masks a lot but Raph has one too#and it’s the mask of a hero - the mask of the protector
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“… so basically just about everyone in my life has tried to kill me at least once, it’s kinda become my go-to way of making friends, just striking up a conversation with anyone who shoots me. It’s worked with just about all of the rogues in my hometown, including my clone-turned-sister who I had brunch with just last week. Even my parents used to shoot at me, but that was only for like a year or so and in their defense they didn’t actually know it was me, haha. It’s kinda funny, the only person who ever managed to actually kill me was a friend of mine who didn’t technically kill me the first time, and then only did it a second time to fix some rewritten timeline stuff, and I still dated her for a while after that. Oh, speaking of dating, my first girlfriend tried to kill me WHILE we were dating, but again, in her defense, she didn’t know it was me haha. But yeah, that’s kinda why I kept talking to that guy while he was pummeling me, just a bit of a pattern I’ve wound up developing. Anyway, what was the question again?”
“… How did you get in my safe house, and do you need medical attention.”
“Oh! I crashed through the window, and probably. Also, I’m gonna pass out.”
And then Danny passed out.
#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#dc x dp#dp x dc fanfic#I don’t really have much context for this#I just thought it would be funny if Danny showed up in some random hero’s safehouse covered in injuries#and instead of elaborating on those injuries#just winds up talking about how it’s totally not that big a deal he’s totally had worse than this#you should see what his ex girlfriend did to him haha#and said hero just. not knowing what to say here
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I don’t know what this is but I’m gonna do it while I’m on my break.
10 notes and I’ll write 5,000 words
50 notes and I’ll take care of my garden
100 notes and I’ll ask my mom about therapy
500 notes and I’ll fix my sleep schedule
1,000 notes and I’ll run a marathon
2,000 notes and I’ll make a slide presentation about the marauders era and show it to a friend or family member
There are no rules to this, so do whatever you want :)
#I don’t know what’s worse#Running the marathon#or the presentation#This is too ambitious but I’m gonna do it anyway#queue
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Even a hero needs some hope
#| haha i am so nervous on how these colors are gonna look on other screens#Hatchetfield#Nightmare time#Killer track#miss holloway#if they look pale its over-#i might die#no i will die-#1: Drawing this has drained me of my soul and will to live#2: I clearly don’t know how to draw microphones#3: Q: How much hair do you want? A: Yes#she came out looking so sad.... i guess that sorta works mm#Nightmare time 2#I think i hate this#but also thats to be expected#and also i cannot look at this anymore#or im gonna start pointing at every bad thing#or worse what if it looks too contrasted#i can't win
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I hope leftists who think they’re above voting for president or are voting for Jill Stein or whoever because it’s their stupid way of protesting the system feel good about themselves, especially if Trump wins partly because of your negligence 😍 I know you’re not doing shit to plan the proletarian revolution, especially before January, so you guys better not complain about something harming you that you didn’t even bother to try and change
(edit: changed the last part bc I wrote “…if life gets a lot worse for you” cause that does nottt sound right at all and I apologize for writing that)
#if you have the option to help make change and do nothing then that’s your fault#ah yes! taking absolutely no action! that'll show the corrupt two-party system!#I’m literally a leftist too I don’t like aligning with the democrat party either but like… what other choice do we have right now#why not just vote for the one who sucks less#also you do know Jill Stein and Rudolph Ware don’t give a fuck about you or any leftist issues right#like they’re literally just there to get in the way for people who are too dumb to realize they’re basically just handing a vote to Trump#sorry for my raging here we see that I am very nervous for this election lol#and i know i'm being dramatic i don't actually want life to get worse for anyone but like... if you're anti-trump but don't vote for kamala#you're basically just getting what you asked for#american politics#vote blue#us politics#i know trump supporters are the ones to be angrier with ofc but this type of people are really irritating too#breaking: 20-year-old chronically online tumblr user changes the minds of thousands last-minute by ranting (/s)
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i think it’s funny he has a tie of himself
#he’s boobs…….#sorry the shaping is a bit off#bleh#anyway take this . thing#i don’t really know i thought about making this when i saw the image but i forgot to do it every time i saw it#but i did it !#thought it’d be neat to make the inside of his jacket red…#that’s what i think it looks like#also slightly unrelated but they didn’t make jon’s outfits bad enough in the tv series#they were way worse in the comics and that’s the way i like it#that jacket should be yellow and purple with a plaid pattern and a green bow tie also#but o well#anyway my power might go out bye#☎️#my art#dhmis#dhmis fanart#dhmis duck#duck guy#dont hug me im scared
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#what the fuck#8 years for that shit?#it feels like a cliffhanger#and I don’t know if it’s worse#there is no cat noir in this show#miraculous is done#I talk only through destiel meme these days#i’m sorry#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#miraculous#miraculous spoilers#miraculous ladybug#mlb#mlb spoilers#adrien agreste#I was curious and I’m disappointed#gabriel agreste#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous s5
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Honestly a sorry from Curly would mean nothing to Anya.
I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to hear it, it’s a hollow vindication. She told him and he couldn’t hear her. He saw it and he couldn’t understand it. They both experienced it and he should apologize that it took that for him to get it. She already knows he’s sorry but what’s the point if neither of them can do anything about it? It’s earnest but at the same time what she wants an apology for is what Curlu can’t apologize for.
He can’t be sorry for what happened to her even if he is. Even if he carries that guilt with him until the day he dies it’s not all his to bare. The most heinous parts aren’t his weight even if he tries to balance it. A part of her bitterness is the fact he can’t be sorry for it all. She can’t just direct it all towards him even if she wants to. She was failed in so many ways by all of them. It hurts with him the most cause he had the power but they all did nothing in the grand scheme of things.
The one person who should apologize would never and could never, it’s not something you can be sorry for. She wants an apology, she needs one but what would it fix?
#my two scents on apology scenerios cause like if she heard it I think it would just make it worse#likes she’s happy in a bitter sweet way like I don’t know why people need Anya to be actively resentful and mean about it like that’s nots#satisfying none of this story is satisfying in anyway shape or form and I want to write scenerios that really aren’t that like it’s real#it’s raw it’s in character for her to sort of forgive Curly but not accept his apology cause it’s worthless and that’s the tragic part of i#in a world where they escape and he apologizes he’s forever haunted by the fact she’ll never accept his sorry and she’s forever haunted by#the justice she didn’t really receive like for those that like them together it’s alway the unspoken bitterness of all his actions carry an#act of apology while she will never accept it as such cause he can’t say it and do anything about it nor what he’s apologizing for she can#learn to forgive him for the mistake understand the circumstances even if she doesn’t agree or wishes he’d known better but it’s forgivenes#based on she wouldn’t do that to herself to hold it against him forever he’s paid for his sins in watching the effects of his inactions and#having so much taken just like her but it didn’t have to happen and that’s why she can never accept the sorry#there shouldn’t be a reason he has to be sorry but there is idk they are so much to me like platonically#the only way I pair cishet straights together#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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Firefly Wedding is so…
It’s so
It’s them. It’s "It’s just a firefly, they’re meant to die soon. Why should I care about the sick, or the poor?"
It’s "I was purposely trying to scare you and push you away to see how far you were willing to go with your act, how desperate you were to play with my feelings as if I was a fool, but it didn’t work."
It’s "I know you’re just using me but now I care. Please keep using me. I need you to need me."
It’s choosing to give her her freedom anyways. Because your love is no longer all about you, no longer selfish. Because this love isn’t just a shallow balm to soothe your complexes anymore.
It’s being betrayed, finally facing the lies and no longer pretending you both don’t know that this is a farce, but desperately wanting to keep it going anyways. It’s "I should hate you now. Why don’t I? Hey, tell me we’ll go through with the plan, tell me you’ll marry me after all. Otherwise, why am I still here? Why don’t I want to leave? You act like you don’t need me but I still need you."
Like that’s so revolutionary for a yandere story. The self-delusion is strong, denial that things have changed despite it being impossible to truly believe, BUT HE STAYS. It’s no longer selfish 😭😭
"I don’t care about you anymore, I won’t help you. Get yourself killed for all I care." <- Jumps to her rescue 3 milliseconds later when she almost falls down a ladder/roof. It happens twice. The ‘lying and trying to emotionally distance yourself from something to protect yourself and not get hurt’ defense mechanism is blatant and it’s failing really bad.
It’s "My sense of duty and goals to have accomplished something useful in my short life are making me do this, but I do want you to stay with me." The yandere stuff here gets turned on its head because what he says is empty where it matters and meaningful where it matters. It’s knowing that if Satoko asks him not to kill anyone he won’t, but knowing that he won’t give up on her no matter what, even if she’s unattainable, even if she’s sickly, even if she pushes him away like just before. It’s so thinly veiled for "I’m determined to see my goal through, but that’s not what I want. If you just so happen to take me away and I don’t try to run away hard enough then we can elope and be free. I want to have an excuse to leave with you. Please give up on marrying me. Please don’t. I want that, but I can’t."
It’s "If I didn’t burn brightly in my short firefly life, then what was the point?"
Except that burning brightly doesn’t have to mean making big achievements, or being useful to your family.
It can be living happily, living for the ones you love, fighting for them. It can be worth to risk it for things that actually matter to you.
It’s giving your heart to someone, figuratively and literally. To lend it to them even if it might get used or battered, for as long as it beats to use your body to protect them, even if you have to sacrifice yourself. A love that burns bright into a bonfire before they both turn to ashes. Unwise but wholehearted.
It’s despite even that, needing grandiose gestures to be able to trust that this is real. It’s needing external cues that prove it to feel safe in their love existing, other people to confirm that he’s not crazy, that this is happening and this is how they both feel. Their love has been fake, both being a warped love and being a lie, only being out of necessity or because the other was the only one willing to offer it to them, offering comfort, safety, support and care. And showing that they care is the most loving of all. It’s despite everything falling back into old habits that "Oh if she was miserably worried for me then that means she’s not indifferent to me! That’s good!" And then once again being taken aback by her, by her earnestness and by her will. Because oh, no, this goes deeper than that. She cares. It’s love.
It’s opening your heart up to love, and both being punished and rewarded for it.
But most of all it’s
And it being the most loving thing he’d ever heard
Firefly Wedding is so…
And yet it’s also
The complicated and hurtful nature of love and the joy and light it brings are two sides of the same coin, because that’s what inevitably happens when you care about something. But caring about a firefly isn’t a waste even however short lived it is, or how hard the loss will inevitably hit you. Isn’t their light just such a wonder to witness?
#hotaru no yomeiri#firefly wedding#firefly marriage#firefly wedding fandom how we feeling#Spoilers#he’s like Denji except. Worse#Lmk if i need to take out the pictures or smth#I genuinely don’t know if firefly wedding will end happily or in tragedy I AM SCARED??!#Iirc the very beginning is a letter that says how she died?? Anyways i am so fine and cool and collected#Ah yes my favorite genre dark romance that manages to become healthy somehow by the end of it <3#Can’t believe they invented love in 2023#It’s like seeing them slowly work through loving someone loving yourself and loving life live it’s so good#Gimme the sad af dark romance about what it means to love someone 😤
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crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.
They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card
#the thing is the rest of the bios are mostly normal it’s just this one with the yellong part why did they do that#idk if I’m stupid or forgot the yelling thing being shown directly in a non-act 2 context but I at least appreciate the confirmation#since I might just be mixing up fanon and canon considering 90% of what we know with Natsuki’s whole deal is interpolated from small tidbits#but like trying to understand anything about non act 2 Natsuki’s background is so funny because she doesn’t like to talk about anything#so all we know about her home life is by comparing her to act 2 and the secret poem plus psychoanalysing her thoughts and actions#is like the secret poem says Monika definitely made her dad worse but the problem is we don’t know how much#anyways and for all we know her dad could range from somewhat average dad to should be put on a watch list#and sometimes there’s dialogue like the one in self love about Natsuki worrying about her friends retaliation#and it’s probably meant to act as a confirmation to whether there’s physical abuse considering how out of left field the question is#but like it could be interpreted either way so it’s basically just Schrödinger’s physical abuse for no reason#I’m not criticizing or anything I think the characters being able to hold secrets is cool and ambiguity is awesome#and the choice to keep the ambiguous is intentional since the characters only share what their comfortable with#but I just need to vent about that one line in self love ok#like idk if I’m just stupid but there’s multiple interpretations but it’s seemingly both a decomfirmation and confirmation#idk it’s weird but her dad yelling at her enough to make it one of her dislikes is at least something in terms of actual evidence#damn it I put a paragraph in the tags again I’m sorry gang I’m not moving it#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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My formal apology for the forgetting what Two Bit looked like when I was doing speed draws @jasmine145946 😔
#doing this in PEN was an awful experience#pls forgive me 🙏#ignore the fact I didn’t wanna do the Mickey#don’t ask what’s happening in the background I don’t know#I’m tired#days of my life 💔#gone.#I’m so dramatic lmao#took a good handful of hours but it was fun#I’ve spent longer on worse#the lightings wack but that’s bc I wanted to do something before I realized I’m actually stupid and that it looked awful#my brother is really mad I didn’t do the Mickey lmao#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#two bit mathews#art#the outsiders fanart
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