#i don’t even have words to describe my feelings
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harrywavycurly · 2 days ago
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Loving a Killer: Mistakes in a Hardware Store
Pairing: Killer!Harry x wife!reader
Masterlist: Here
CW: Harry is a tad bit over protective in this, threats of violence, semi angsty bits, language.
A/N: Harry had done something wrong and shockingly enough it has nothing to do with what he does for a living, so enjoy him trying to get you to forgive him✨
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“Looking at it every five seconds isn’t going to make it magically start ringing you know that right?” Harry just ignores Mitch’s comment as he looks at his phone for the sixth time in the last five minutes, letting out a sigh when he all he’s met with is the date and time on his Lock Screen, no message from you or your name flashing across it like it normally does when you call him. “Trouble in paradise?” Mitch asks as he looks over and watches Harry run a hand through his hair as he tosses his phone onto his desk.
“She’s not talking to me.” Is all he says before he stands up and begins pacing the length of his desk while Mitch spins his chair around so his back is facing his own desk allowing him to watch his bestfriend have what he could only describe as a breakdown of some sort due to not having heard from you all day. Harry pauses and runs a hand over his face then just looks at Mitch over his shoulder. “I think she’s mad-”
“What did you do?” Harry lets out a groan as he walks over to his desk and places his hands flat on top of it and Mitch raises a brow at him when he notices him look down and close his eyes while letting out a deep sigh. “Harry tell me you didn’t-”
“You’ve got to stop assuming I’m walking around killing people without telling you.” Harry jokes as he lifts his head to send Mitch a glare. “I didn’t even really put my hands on anyone this time.” He explains making his friend just roll his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Then what exactly did you do?”
“She went with me to get some stuff so I can fix the shed door in the backyard and while we were at the hardware store some dude came up to her and started chatting her up so I might’ve threatened him a little.”
“You’re such a hot head man you need to relax and realize your wife is a catch so dudes are going to want to try to flirt with her.”
“What the hell did you just say?” Mitch doesn’t even flinch at how harsh Harry’s tone is as he straightens himself up and takes a step towards him with a quirked brow, Mitch is extremely familiar to this side of his bestfriend. “I’m just supposed to let people flirt with her and think they have some sort of shot with her?”
“They’ll know they don’t have a shot with her because she’ll let them know. She doesn’t need you to do it.” Mitch casually explains as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world but Harry just lets out a scoff and throws his hands up in air, clearly annoyed at the idea of having his wife be the one to tell creeps to leave her alone.
“She shouldn’t have to worry about telling wanks who want to chat her up to fuck off.” He snaps while he walks back over to his desk to reach for his phone. “I’m her husband it’s my job to do that for her.” Mitch rolls his eyes at his explanation as he watches Harry tap away on his phone.
“No it’s your job to trust her and let her handle herself in situations like that.” Harry can’t help but feel his heart sink as Mitch’s words hit him, he knows he can be a tad bit overprotective when it comes to you and that often leads to him overreacting in certain situations but he’s never thought about how him reacting the way that he does could make you feel as if he doesn’t trust you or think you can’t handle yourself.
“I do trust her.” Mitch just nods as he uncrosses his arms so he can stand up from his chair. “I just-you know how I am with her.” He says with a sigh as Mitch takes a step towards him so he can place a hand on his shoulder.
“I know how you are with her and I know it’s because you love her but sometimes it’s a little much. But the real question is how are you gonna fix this?” Mitch asks as he gives Harry’s shoulder a squeeze before letting it go. “I hear flowers work wonders.” He suggests making Harry send him a glare making Mitch chuckle because sometimes it’s glaringly obvious how single Mitch is compared to Harry.
“Already had a bouquet delivered to her office this morning since she only works a half day today.” He mumbles and Mitch just gives him a nod of approval as he watches Harry tap a few things on his phone before he locks it and slides into his back pocket. “I have to go. You good to handle the rest of the day without me?” Harry questions making Mitch just brush him off as he turns to head back towards his desk.
“Yeah I’m fine we have that Gavin guy tomorrow and today is just paperwork.” Harry just nods at Mitch’s answer before he gathers his keys and tosses his work bag over his shoulder. “Good luck.” Mitch says with a smile as Harry gives him one more glance before turning and heading out their shared office door and down the hallway for the door that opens to the stairs leading up to the lobby of the building the two of them work at.
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Harry hates the feeling he gets when he walks inside the front door, he’s not met with the usual warmth that always radiates off of you and seeps into his body and relaxes him as it makes its way from his tired feet all the way up to his sore shoulders. Today he’s met with silence and the utter coldness that comes with it and it’s almost enough to send a shiver down his spine, but the only thing that keeps him from turning around and leaving is that he knows you’re home because he parked next to your car in the driveway and he is willing to do anything get your warmth back into the house.
He knows where you’re at, it’s just something that he can’t help with what he does for a living he knows how to keep track of people when they’re in relatively close proximity to him. So as soon as he walked in the front door he could see your foot hanging off the love seat tucked away in the corner of the living room near the bookshelf next to the floor lamp that you opted to turn on instead of the main light. He acts as if he didn’t see you as he drops his keys in the bowl by the door and slips his shoes off before he makes his way into the kitchen where he places his work bag on the table, he can feel your eyes on him from the living room and he takes that as a decent sign that you’re even wanting to look at him.
He runs a hand through his hair as he contemplates his next move, he knows you don’t like confrontation so you won’t be the one to tell him you’re mad at him so if he wants this to get resolved in a timely manner he’s going to need to be the one to initiate the conversation but he’s just not in a hurry to hear you say you’re upset with him. So Harry does what he thinks is the best thing to do in the moment because he knows you, he knows what you really need from him in this moment and he’s more than willing to give it to you if it spares him, at least for a few minutes from having to hear you tell him how unhappy he made you the other day. He turns around and quietly heads into the living room, he watches as you close the book he knows you stopped reading the moment he walked through the front door and place it on the side table near the lamp. As soon as he’s in front of you he reaches down and grabs your hands as he drops to his knees, he looks at you as he brings your hands to his lips and places sweet kisses to your knuckles and he doesn’t miss the slight shade of pink your cheeks get at his actions.
“I’m sorry baby.” He makes sure his words come out nice and clear so you don’t miss them between little pecks to your knuckles. “I know I made you upset yesterday and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have threatened him or-”
“We’ve had this conversation before haven’t we Harry?” You ask making Harry just swallow before nodding his head and he swears he feels his heart drop to his stomach when you turn and look away from him. “I know you want to protect me from all the creeps and jerks but Harry yesterday you-”
“Don’t say it.” He cuts you off as he lets your hands slip out of his as he stands up. “Please don’t say it.” His voice is low as he takes a small step away from you as he feels as if his world might be crumbling down around him as the thought of you telling him you were afraid of him bounces around in his head.
“Harry look at me.” He can’t help himself as he does what you ask because even though his whole world may feel like it’s on the verge of falling apart he’s still your husband, the man who hasn’t ever really been able to not do whatever it is you ask of him. “I’m not afraid of you.” He feels your hands on his arms slowly running up until they are cupping the sides of his face making sure he can’t look away from you. Your words take a moment to sink in through the layers of sheer panic and anxiety running through his mind but when they finally do Harry lets out a deep breath and feels as if his legs could give out at any moment with the amount of relief that washes over him.
“I was going to say that in that moment you were being one of the jerks you try to protect me from all the time.” All Harry can do is just nod because you’re right, he was being exactly the type of person he tries to keep you away from and honestly Harry is still recovering from the fact you admitted you aren’t afraid of him so a nod is the best he can do in the moment. “You threatened someone’s life all because he was asking me if I had any recommendations for a good weather resistant wood varnish.” When Harry rolls his eyes he instantly knows it’s a mistake because he feels your hands drop from his face making his lips turn downward into a slight frown while you take a few steps away from him.
“I’m sorry sweetheart but that was clearly a line and he was trying to flirt-”
“So him flirting with me means you need to come in and grab him by his shirt and tell him that if he so much as looks at me again the next project you’ll be working on will be his coffin?” Harry can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve raised your voice since he’s met you, each time has almost always been towards him and he hates that he’s the one who gets you to the point where you lose your ability to speak in your usual soft and gentle tone and are left with no choice but to make your voice louder and a little meaner in hopes it’ll help get your point across more clearly.
“I didn’t mean to grab him. That was a mistake.” He doesn’t make an attempt to get closer to you even though every part of him wants to reach out and pull you into him, he wants to give you the space you need to tell him exactly how his actions made you feel and he knows you won’t be able to do that if he crowds you. And as much as he normally loves to play dirty and use his knowledge against you, this time he wants you to get everything out because he wants to be better for you so if he has to stand here and take it for a few more minutes then so be it.
“Was that the only mistake you made yesterday?” He wants to say he really didn’t make any mistakes yesterday but he doesn’t, he just rubs his lips together as you place a hand on your hip letting him in on the fact you’re getting annoyed at this conversation.
“Please just answer me because I don’t want to argue with you anymore but I need to know if you really think that’s the only mistake you made yesterday.” Harry can tell by the slight pleading tone of your voice that you’re beginning to break, your walls of anger are starting to crumble and he can’t help himself but feel a small sense of relief because he can work with this, he can find a way to make your walls come down and get you to forgive him.
“No.” He answers as he takes a small cautious step towards you making you raise an eyebrow at him as a signal to have him elaborate on his answer. “I shouldn’t have threatened him or raised my voice in the store because I know how you feel about causing scenes in public.” He adds as he takes another small step towards you and he can’t help the small smirk that forms on his face when he sees your hand drop from your hip as you playfully roll your eyes at the mention of causing a scene.
“Anything else?” Your voice is much softer now and Harry feels like this is a good time to take a chance so he reaches an arm out so he can place a hand on your hip and he smiles when you don’t make any moves to wiggle out of his grasp or bring your own hand down to push his away.
“Letting you give me the silent treatment for the rest of the day. That’s probably the biggest mistake I made because you know how much I love hearing you talk.” Now normally you’d take that as a tease of some sort but Harry’s not an idiot, or at least not in this moment so he’s sure to sound as serious as possible without ruining the lighthearted mood that’s beginning to form between the two of you.
“You love hearing me talk?” Harry just gives you a smile as he ever so gently pulls you closer to him by his hold on your hip.
“Your voice is one of my favorite sounds.” He admits without a single drop of hesitation because it’s the truth. “Especially right before you fall asleep and it’s this mixture of a whisper and just mumbles of nonsense.” His eyes stare into yours as he raises his free hand so he can brush a few strands of hair out of your face and back behind your ear. “But my favorite is when it’s got this hint of excitement to it like when you’re telling me about a new book you found that you’re now obsessed with or better yet the rants you go on about books you hate those are very fun and your voice gets this almost twinge of absolute disgust to it that I always find entertaining because it’s so rare you find something you don’t like.” He keeps his hand on the side of your face cupping your jaw, gently running his thumb over your cheek.
“So really baby it about killed me not getting to hear your voice for a whole day all because I was an asshole and couldn’t handle some guy flirting with you in a Home Depot.” He wants to pull your face towards his and seal his words with a kiss but he doesn’t, he’s a gentleman after all and knows it’s only right to let you decide when he’s earned his kissing privileges back sees as you just broke the day long silent treatment you were giving him not even five minutes ago.
“His name was Brad.” Harry’s grip on your hip tightens a little while he other hand falls from your face as you give him an unwanted detail of your encounter yesterday. “Maybe if you knew that before you went all crazy on him you would’ve reconsidered? Because who’s going to pick some dude named Brad over their hot husband named Harry?” He just chuckles as you give him a playful smirk while reaching your hands up to grab both sides of his face.
“Well when you put it like that.” He jokes as he feels you begin to pull his face down towards yours. “I really am sorry sweetheart I swear it won’t happen again.” He whispers as he bumps the tip of his nose into yours making you smile.
“I know you are and that’s why I forgive you.” That’s all Harry needs to hear before he allows himself to close the gap between his lips and yours, he feels you smile against his lips as you pull him even closer to you when you feel him try to pull away.
“I love you.” He mumbles between kisses making you giggle as your hands go from his face down to his chest so you can grip onto his shirt while his hand holds onto the back of your neck.
In this moment Harry knows that the two of you are going to be okay, that while you may hate how he over reacts and gets a little too protective at times, you still love him and haven’t decided to give up on him or at least not yet. So Harry decides right then and there that he’s going to actually try to be better, but while he really will try he can’t promise he won’t mess up every now and then because he’s still Harry, and when it comes to you he doesn’t think he’ll ever be okay with people getting too close or being too friendly.
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elegantpersoncreation · 3 days ago
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"I don’t know how you do it, but you make me feel something more, something that’s hard to describe. Like we’re entwined by words that have the power to transcend the distance between us. Each message becomes like a touch—soft but elusive, leaving a mark that lasts longer than I’d like to admit. Maybe this is all just a fantasy, but I crave it. Maybe you’re someone I’ll never meet… or maybe you’re someone waiting to come into my life. Whatever it is, your words hold me close, even in this moment, and it’s enough to make me want more..."
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sepublic · 1 day ago
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            I find it interesting that even in the epilogue, four years after Camila has had time to be more acquainted with the Boiling Isles under non-threatening circumstances, she’s still creeped out by it. And this is fine! The narrative isn’t condemning her for it. It’s not demanding that she enjoy these things like Luz does; It’s just asking for her to respect its existence, and to support Luz’s interest in it and love her too.
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            In For the Future, we see Camila horrified by what she encounters in the Boiling Isles; But she also spends the whole episode pushing through it anyway for Luz’s sake, being there for her as much as she can. Because she knows these are just feelings and nothing more, and she’s choosing to be kind in spite of them.
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            By contrast, in this same episode we find out Belos does feel empathy and guilt towards his brother and nephew, he wasn’t purely 100% only interested in what they could do for him; And yet, he’s still just as cruel and violent towards them. He’s still cruel and violent towards witches and demons, sometimes using the ‘tragedy’ of Caleb as a justification. Hell, he even resents the ghosts for making him feel guilty, telling them to “Shut up.”
            Isn’t that fascinating? Disgust is portrayed as a morally neutral thing. It’s not an indictator of morality, it doesn’t mean something is bad… But it doesn’t mean the person who feels it is bad, either, people don’t consider that enough. It’s just a gut reaction. Sometimes people have internalized biases they need to work through, but other times, it’s pretty harmless as long as they’re self-aware and don’t do anything bad over it; This even applies to the process of unlearning the aforementioned biases.
            Likewise, empathy and guilt don’t actually, necessarily make you a good person. The example with Belos shows how some people will actually be crueler because of empathy, because they resent people for being upset, and thus making them feel upset because they naturally empathize. Hence those who get angry at people in pain and need for “ruining their vibe,” because now they feel bad too.
            There’s a juxtaposition in how Camila seems genuinely more scared and creeped out by the isles on a visceral level than Belos, and yet Camila has the common sense to still respect and fight for its existence; Whereas Belos chooses to make a mountain out of a molehill because it’s not just hatred, it’s pride. It all boils down to his ego at the end of the day. In many ways, other characters struggle with dilemmas more difficult than Belos’, yet still do better than he ever has.
            This all plays into my thesis that TOH is arguing your feelings are secondary to your actions, and that the latter is what decides whether you’re a “good” person or not. In the end, someone who’s had a good life and was a dick for selfish reasons, only to choose to be better, is more sympathetic and morally superior than someone who suffered a million unfair grievances, and proceeded to dole out a million unfair grievances, with no sign of stopping; Especially from an IRL perspective, and I think our IRL feelings sometimes influence how we engage with media, and vice-versa.
            That’s why the finale –and the show as a whole– emphasizes choices, over inherent, instinctual feelings. A decent chunk of Camila’s arc could be summarized by the word Squick; In the sense that it’s meant to describe things that one feels personal disgust and discomfort towards, but otherwise has no moral condemnation or problem with; It’s just a Me thing, is the point of Squick. Camila is like that sex-repulsed ace who nevertheless supports kink at Pride.
            That gets me to how my ruminations were prompted by a similar observation; How some people lump sex-repulsed aces in with the oppressive Puritans who hate sex in anything, but that’s not true at all. Obviously there’s the rare Exception, but as a whole, sex-repulsed aces are on the side of other queers who ARE sexual and are demanding to let these things be normalized; It’s not for them, but they have no moral condemnation and will fight for it in solidarity anyway, especially since both are hated by the system regardless. Sound familiar?
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jsprnt · 1 day ago
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as the saying goes: with every high, comes a low
kenan yıldız x reader
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A/N: writing this brought back both good memories and ptsd from the euros 🥲🥲 based on this request, thank you for requesting 🤍🤍 also this is so sappyyy, guess who’s in her feels? 😛
W/C: 1.090
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ninety minutes of straight-up torture.
a small fifteen-minute break to calm your pounding heart down, before it starts heavily thumping against your rib cage again.
you wouldn’t be surprised if you dropped onto the floor due to the amount of times your heart rate had skyrocketed.
anxiety and anticipation.
the only words that could describe your mental state in the moment.
losing a match was painful, but even more painful after turkey had been doing so well in the tournament.
as the partner of a football player, you carried your own sadness, and your boyfriend’s sadness.
you bite your lip when the referee ends the match. enough to draw a small amount of blood. the metallic taste fills your mouth, and makes you feel even more horrible.
the chants of the turkey supporters had been non-stop since the start of the game. at first full of joy, then encouragement, then slowly trailing off to tears and disappointment.
even so, everyone had an incredible sense of pride in their hearts for their country. no matter the loss.
when you're given the go-ahead, all family members and friends of the turkey players make their way out of their seats.
you hurry as you go down, your heart aching as you imagine all of the disappointment and anger brewing in your lover’s heart.
when you finally reach him, kenan immediately pulls you into a private room. without a word, his arms wrap around your back, and he buries his handsome face in the crook of your neck.
feeling his breath hit your skin, you sigh shakily. not caring about his sweaty hair and body, you reach up to run your hand down his back.
"are you okay?"
of course, he wasn't, but you could barely register how fast the team had lost control of the match. let alone form a coherent, comforting thought.
you rake your unoccupied hand through his hair, your heart beating in your ears as you try to find the words to comfort your boyfriend.
though, his lack of response told you enough.
after a long stretch of silence, you start spilling your thoughts. licking your dry lips before speaking.
"I'm so fucking proud of you, kenan.."
the words leave your mouth with deep emotion. followed by a tremble of your lip as you try to keep your tears at bay.
"whatever people say, whatever anyone says doesn't matter. you worked so fucking hard, you put your entire soul and body into it. that's what matters. you tried, and I know you did your best.."
you pause as a shaky sigh leaves kenan's mouth. his athletic body pressing into yours, the smell of sweat, notes of his musky cologne, and your perfume creating a familiar atmosphere.
your heart breaks when you hear a small sniffle. your eyes closing as you hold back your own tears.
"you can cry. it's okay, cry it out. I know it hurts, baby.." you whisper, finally feeling hot tears hit your own cheeks, as his transfer down your neck.
"I worked so hard. so many nights and days- and this is the performance I put on when my team, and my entire country is leaning on me!.."
"shh, don't blame yourself, honey. I know it will sound cliché, but you did your absolute best. you can’t do more than your best, baby..”
you pause to pat his back, tears messing up your makeup, and making your nose run.
"it was going so well, you guys created so many chances. it was just an unlucky second half.."
"to have something in the palm of my hand, and then to just lose it within twenty minutes- hurts so fucking bad.." his shoulders shake with the painful sobs. the emotion expressed by your boyfriend causing a soft whimper to leave your own mouth.
"never ever think that the entire thing was on you. It was destined to be like this. as humans, we will learn and grow, even if we don’t see immediate results.."
kenan moves his head to look at you, your heart practically cracking at the sadness on his face.
the hopeless look in his beautiful brown eyes, the irritation of his soft skin- and the fastened pace of his pulse.
"why are you crying?" he asks, and you can swear he starts crying harder after seeing the tears on your face.
"because, you're hurting. don't ever want you to feel bad or upset.." your voice cracks, and you tighten your grip on the fabric of his training jacket.
"fuck. don't you ever cry over me, baby.." kenan rasps, cupping your cheek with his roughened palm. both your eyes visibly red and irritated from the salty tears.
"how can I not?" you question, before pulling his head into your neck again. cradling the back of his head, as you hug each other as tightly as humanly possible.
"i love you so much. your joy is mine. so how can your hurt not be mine?" you ask, raking your fingers through his hair.
"i love you too. so bad it kills me to see you cry over me.." he chokes out, his fingers curling around your body, holding you incredibly close against his warm skin.
you hold each other for a couple of minutes, the only sound in the room being the cold air conditioning, and the sound of your combined sobs.
you can hear kenan take a deep, stuttering breath, before he speaks.
"we’re such crybabies.."
his voice is raw, but thick with fondness and warmth..
your lover always knew how to lighten up the mood, while others could never do so in similar situations.
you chuckle a little through tears, pulling back to look at him. you raise your hand to wipe the tears on kenan's cheeks, his bloodshot eyes on yours.
pushing back his hair, you expose his forehead, wiping away the rest of the moisture with your sleeve.
"your eyes are all red.." you comment, knowing you probably looked the exact same.
"what do you need when we get back to the hotel? a bath? a cuddle? good food?" you inquire, wanting to provide him the best comfort you could offer.
you watch him take a breath before he speaks, and he whips out a tissue from his pocket, before dabbing at the tears on your face.
he was so gentle and thoughtful, like always.
"I just need you. I just need my sweet baby next to me, and everything will be alright.."
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justastraymoa · 2 days ago
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Unwilling Alpha
Chapter 13
Masterlist
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Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation. Mentions of blood and unaliving. Mentions of selling body parts and black market trade.
Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.
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Early the next morning a brand-new wardrobe was delivered. More clothes than I could wear in a year. As well as bags, purses, jewelry, hats, everything you could possibly think of.
“They got you the hook up! All the brands latest styles! I’m going to steal some of this.” I.N announced immediately, grabbing a couple items that caught his eye.
I laughed at his antics. “Sure, why not. I’m sure I’ll steal your clothes at some point.” I shrugged fingering through what was left. Some of this stuff isn’t too bad.” I was pleasantly shocked. The fabric felt different, and they all had name brands on them in some way, but they weren’t over the top. They looked- at least most did-casual and comfortable. Cozy. Exactly my style, but with a luxury name. J managed to find me – even in name brands. That man really is the best. He knew what was bothering me without me having to explain.
With a watery smile I hid my face in a Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt. Arms embraced me. “I hope those are good tears.” Changbin spoke into my hair.
I sniffed and nodded, lifting my head again. “J found me. Found a way to keep a part of me.”
Bin squeezed me tighter. “We will find a happy medium. Weve always done the impossible.”
“We do things our own way. We’re Stray Kids.” Chan put in.
Lee Know punched my arm gently. “You’re one of us now, Jagi.”
I sniffed again and let out a watery laugh, nodding my head. “Let’s go on tour.”
The Omegas cheered happily and reached out to touch me. Still smiling I wiped my eyes and got back to my new clothes, assessing. “I don’t have enough time to put everything away right now. Who wants to help me pick an airport outfit?” I asked, not even sure where to begin. The sheer number of clothes in front of me was overwhelming.
A pile of clothes was shoved into my arms. “Already done.” I.N stated dusting off his hands. He had come back from stashing the clothes he stole and apparently moved on to the task of my outfit.
I looked at the pile of clothes and shrugged my face. A nice, neutral set of grays and blacks in a mixture of brands-a couple I have never even heard of.
Hyun handed me a shoebox and a crossbody tote bag, oiling them on top of the mountain of clothes already in my arms. “You will need these too.”
“What do I need to pack?” I asked. This was my first time on tour with Stray Kids and I wasn’t really sure what I would need.
“Most everything is provided, but anything personal. Chargers, laptops and stuff like that. Books, stuffed animals, anything you think you may need.” Chan shrugged.
Easy enough. And I could fit everything in the bag Hyun chose for me, but I had to hurry. The van to the airport was due in an hour. The Omegas were already ready to go. They had this whole thing down to science. It was me that was holding them up.
Once we were on the way to the airport, I started to bounce my leg and chew on my lip. Seungmin had helped me with some light makeup, and I made my hair a big nicer than usual. But airports were a big deal. There would be cameras and screaming fans everywhere.
It’s my first time dealing with fans in person and not through the internet. And my first time in such a situation after announcing my subgender. Nervous is not the right word to describe what I was feeling.
Lee Know placed a hand on my knee and squeezed, stopping it from bouncing. “You’ll be fine. It’s just a walk through the airport.”
I snorted. “Hardly. It’s a whole ass show.”
“Stick close to us and your bodyguards. You will be safe.”
“I’m not worried about my safety, Lino, I’m worried about messing up and making you look bad.” It’s true. I wasn’t worried so much about my safety- though it was still a concern. Even though there were some scary comments and posts on social media no one seemed to be concerned about it, so I was taking my queues from them.
“Just be yourself. Everything else will follow.” Lino patted my knee twice. “You can’t do anything that would cause a huge issue. I mean – unless you punch a STAY. Don’t do that. Obviously.”
“There goes my whole plan of attack.” I rolled my eyes. I pulled and fidgeted with my clothes as we pulled up to the airport, making sure they were perfect.
Chan turned in his seat to address us. “Bin, Min, keep Y/N in between you. Do not leave her side.” Both Bin and Lino nodded seriously.
“Chan?” I was concerned by his very serious tone and the sudden extra precautions.
He smiled at me, but it was more strained than usual. “Theres nothing to worry about. I’m just being overly cautious.”
I 100% did not believe him. He was a terrible liar. There was more he wasn’t telling me. He was trying not to freak me out more, I’m sure, but I needed to know. I needed to be prepared as well. “Don’t keep me in the dark.”
Scrunching up his face and glancing out the window as we came to a final stop, Chan thought it over. I watched him patiently.
Seungmin huffed. “JYPE has received some threats against you.”
“Seungmin!” Chan snapped.
“She has the right to know! She isn’t dumb or helpless!”
“You could have broken it to her easier.”
“Hold on! When did this happen?” Hyun asked, cutting into the argument.
“You didn’t know?” I asked, relieved I wasn’t the only one left out of the loop.
There were murmurs and complaints overlapping. Apparently the only two people who knew were Chan and Seungmin. They kept it from everyone else. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” I was angry. Not only did they keep something from me, but Chan also just lied about it as well. Lied right to my face. “You lied to me. Do you think so little of me that you think I don’t deserve to know that I’m in danger? Did you think I couldn’t handle it?” I jerked away from Seungmin when he reached for me. The Omega looked crushed at the rejection.
“I made him keep it from you, don’t blame him. I just didn’t want to worry you more. I knew today would be hard enough already.” Chan defended himself.
There was a knock on the window. Security telling us to hurry it up. They were right, we needed to move, or we would miss our flight.
So, with one last glare at Chan, I snatched my bag and gestured for someone to open the door. Felix took the hint, leading the way.
Bin and Lino stayed true to their promise. Bin kept a secure, comforting arm around my shoulders, holding me close as we walked. Lino stuck close to my other side, brushing my arm occasionally to assure me that he was still there.
Security worked to keep fans back a respectful distance as they screamed. Some reached toward us, trying to get even the smallest touch. Some held signs or Skzoos-waving them erratically. Most held out phones, videoing or taking pictures as we went by, trying to follow us as far as they could. Professional paparazzi were allowed closer, snapping pictures with high powered flashes that left spots in my vision if I looked at them too directly.
Mostly I kept my head down and focused on not tripping over my own feet. Most everyone was focused on the boys, but I could make out some shouts aimed at me. More of what they’ve been saying online. “Go home Alpha trash!” “Go back to your masters, slave!” They were easy enough to ignore. It was nothing new and nothing I hadn’t expected.
What I hadn’t expected was the thick red liquid thrown at me from an unseen face in the crowd. The thick liquid was cold, like it had been refrigerated.
Freezing I gasped, the foul metallic smelling liquid covered my entire front. Dripped from my hair, chin, and clothes.
It was blood. I was covered in blood.
But not just any blood. This blood had a distinct unmistakable Alpha scent to it. I was covered with Alpha blood, and a lot of it. Too much for even one Alpha.
There was a flurry of chaos as security rushed us off and away from the crows. There were a couple of high-pitched screams as STAY realized what had happened.
Someone covered me with a jacket and Bin and Lino practically covered me with their bodies as we nearly ran to where security was shoving us.
I stared at my feet, mind completely blank except for the image of myself covered in some unknow Alpha’s blood. Some likely murdered Alphas blood was currently drying on my face and clothes. Soaking into my skin.
We stopped and the jacket was taken off me. Bins large warm hands engulfed my face and brought it up, so I was looking at him. It was then I realized he was talking - no yelling.
I focused on a large splash of blood on Bins cheek. Reaching up I wiped it off. “You have blood on you.” I stated blankly feeling light as air and heavy as a ton of bricks all at the same time.
I blinked and suddenly I was on my back, Chan hovering over me looking worried.
Irrational and intense anger overtook me, and I shoved Chan away. “Get away from me!” I shouted. Chan stumbled back and looked struck. “This is your fault! You should have told me! You should have let me be prepared!” I accused making Chan flinch slightly and look away. Some rational part of me knew that no amount of preparation could have stopped what happened, but I wasn’t feeling very rational right now.
Felix and Seungmin rushed in holding several items. “We got water and a change of clothes!” Felix handed me the bottle of water and sat next to me on the hard plastic loveseat I was laying on. WE were in a small plain room with only the loveseat I was on and two plastic chairs that matched it.
“Where are we?” I asked, taking a small sip of the water.
“A spare room the airport uses for searches.” Seungmin answered.
“Decided to actually tell me, huh?” I rolled my eyes and looked away from him. He was just as guilty as Chan and J, lying to me and betraying my trust.
“They have showers here, for travelers. If you hurry, you can shower off the blood.” Lino handed me a couple small bottles of soap.
I had managed to forget about the blood in the aftermath of fainting and my anger at Chan and Seungmin. But now I could feel the dried blood itching my skin and flaking off. My heavy-with-blood seater sticking to the skin under it. Smell the overwhelming scent of metal and Alpha. I felt sick.
“It’s a-its-the blood is-“ I couldn’t force the words out.
Lino nodded and Felix gripped my hand tightly. “We know, sweetheart.” He whispered.
I gulped and nodded holding up a bloody shaking hand. “I don’t…mmm-I’m not-I don’t know.” My voice shook as much as my hands did.
Hannie held out a hand for me to take. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Let JYP worry about the attack.”
I gripped his hand tightly and let him pull me up.
The shower helped calm me down and bring my thoughts and emotions back to neutral ground.
This attack was the cowardly action of a few individuals. They may not even be STAY. They could have just used this opportunity to complete their attack. To make me afraid.
They wanted me locked inside, taking care of the house, and doing everything to make more Alphas for them to use and exploit. They wanted me to hide.
But I spent most of my life hiding. Hiding who I was. Hiding from the world. I wouldn’t be terrorized into doing that again. They would not win.
So, they managed to buy some Alpha blood off the black market. Some slave trader killed their slave-worked then and used them to death. Or the Alpha unalived themselves rather than suffer. Either way they sold what they could of the Alpha to get some of their money back.
Then some sucker thought they needed to make a point, so they bought the blood. Probably at 10x what it was worth. Then decided to throw it on me like red paint at a fur protest. Gross? Yes. Sickening? Yes. Terrifying? Also, yes. But ultimately, they did not harm me or my Omegas. They most likely didn’t hurt anything but their bank account.
I rejoined the Omegas freshly cleaned hair damp and shower warm. The new clothes were from some souvenir shop in the airport, but they were soft and comfortable. And most importantly, not covered in blood.
“Are you okay?” Hyun asked perking up as soon as he saw me. He reached out and pulled me close, sticking his face in my hair and breathing deeply. I snuck a hand to the back of his neck and squeezed lightly.
“They won’t scare me away that easy. Let’s get this tour started.” I replied with a smirk.
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seikkoi · 3 days ago
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ꜱᴜɢᴀʀ | dom!tony stark x sugarbaby!reader ( ᴄʀɪᴍᴇ!ᴀᴜ )
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ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰɪᴠᴇ [1, 2, 3, 4] | ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3
There was nothing that could keep Tony from having exactly what he wanted—and he deserved a little sweetness in his life. All he had to do was keep from ruining you in the process.
content/warnings: 18+ minors do not interact. non-canon, non-superhero au, sub/dom undertones, slight emotional/verbal manipulation, obsessive + possessive behavior, age gap (reader described as mid-twenties, t.s as mid-forties), mildly dubious consensual situations, explicit mentions of alcohol and drug use, generally not for the light of heart, rough sexual content, reader described as petite word count: 9.8k
There isn’t any conversation surrounding Pepper’s visit, or the divorce, but it’s all around you regardless.
Random items disappear from the penthouse–a Pollock (your present takes its place), some throw pillows from the study, and a few Turkish ceramics you never knew existed. The phone rings far more than you care for. Tony has far more meetings than you care for. A bespeckled lawyer and his blonde associate nearly become housemates, spending hours behind the frosted glass door. Natasha makes a few appearances as well, which confuses you the most. You find the spice in her perfume too bold.
On her third exit in as many weeks, you question Tony on it. He absently traces patterns on your calves, seemingly not paying attention to you or the film on screen. 
“Should I be worried?” you hide your sincerity behind a glass of wine, twirling the stem between your fingers. The red liquid mirrors the motion inside, spidering against the walls.
“About Natasha?” he asks incredulously. 
“Yes,” you draw out, “and you–all of it, really.” 
“Now why on Earth would you be worrying about me?” 
You would love to point out the obvious and address the building-sized elephant in the room that says  ‘you’re recently sober and just got a divorce’ but the look on his face tells you it’s unnecessary. 
Tony finds a way to answer the unasked anyways. 
“It’s a shit ton of paperwork, and signing things, so it’s annoying, yes but I am fine. Scouts honor.” 
He kisses your hand and grins with all the confidence in the world. It’s so fucking arcane each time–close to magic in how it undos every worry and mirrors his gleam. 
You wished it had more permanent effects. Something long-lasting and memorable. Easy to spread over the evening and into the early morning hours, when he’s inconsolable in your arms. You could turn it back into magic words. Banish whatever miasma racked his body and go back to peaceful nights (because you had those at some point, right?).
Being able to ask the hard questions doesn’t mean shit if the answer’s always a dismissive work of fiction. You never learned what caused their separation, or sent ‘everything to shit’ as Tony put it. Not because you didn’t ask, no that question came the same night Pepper did.  Apparently it’s the same driver of every modern American divorce–money. Tony summarizes the event as a fatal disagreement over corporate shares, though like always you feel you’re being told an official story. Clean cut with all messy details chopped away. 
“You don’t have a signature stamp at this point?” you joke.
“Oh no,” Tony’s hands brace your ankles to pull you closer, “ every squiggle needs to be authentic and fresh.”
“Right, how could I assume anything less.” Your eyes roll but you let your legs drape over his lap. 
“Seriously, I’m doing fine–things will calm back down soon.” A gentle squeeze drives the point home. 
A thought crosses your mind. An insecurity, really, but one you haven’t let go since meeting Pepper.
“If it’s like, I don’t know,” you hesitate under Tony’s raised eyebrow, “–I can head back to my apartment if it’s too much.”
Stark Industries was still footing the bill even though you spent less than 10 hours there in the last two months. There’s a fear in overstaying your welcome, or whatever it is you were doing here. Either way, you figured it was less than ideal to have your girlfriend around during a divorce. 
“If what’s too much?” 
“I don’t know, if you need your space right now or–” you answer exasperatedly.
“Honey,” he gives a hearty laugh, “if I ever start asking for space, call a doctor.”
All resistance becomes futile.
You keep your apartment (for unnecessary security), but more time lapses between visits. You issue a long overdue farewell to bartending. Even being driven, the commute to that side of town is hellish and the whole thing got more pointless with each day. You drank in the fruits of this life, but not without a tiny bit of unease. It’s unease that you bury down under all the other feelings. The affection, the simplicity, the serenity. So you swap mixers for paintbrushes and solitude for the man you love. 
Other subtle changes require a quicker adjustment, but you’re getting dangerously good at adapting. With Tony’s birthday past, you recognize a pattern to Harley’s visits. Every three months like clockwork. You begin to anticipate them well enough, and start appreciating his occasional presence during your early morning tea. By his third appearance, you brew two cups.
On the first visit he barely utters a word. You were ready for some witty insult that never came, and offered him a cup in silence. You want to ask why he arrives so early just to sit in his father’s kitchen, but opt for peace instead. 
Once Pepper’s placard is gone in the parking garage and Natasha stops showing up (at all hours of the day, atleast), he’s there a second time. 
“How he’s doing with the,” he trails off, peering at you over an empty mug as the sun starts to break. He doesn’t need to motion at the empty space for you to pick up his meaning.
The official story is dancing on your tongue. The one you’ve told two times over at this point (Jarvis, Natasha). He's perfectly fine, better even. It was a piece of cake then, but now you can’t seem to look Harvey in the eye and speak in half-truths. 
“Honestly,” you sigh, “Good–not good, I don’t know.”  You were dying under  the irony of it all. Consoling Tony in the darkness of morning and then watching him make million dollar deals by noon. You don’t know how he’s managing any of it, and if any of this qualifies as okay. 
Green eyes blink slowly through an overgrown fringe. Barbers were clearly scarce in the last three months, wherever he spent them. Exhaustion forces a yawn before he speaks again, pinching his nose. 
“Figured as much.” Harley stands for the sink.
He goes through the labor of washing the ebony cup, a rare quirk amongst the obscenely rich. You’d learned they are very reliant upon their quiet servants. You wondered if he did it out of modesty or good manners.  
“Do you know why they separated?” If he was in the mood to talk about Tony, you weren’t going to pass up the chance.
“Uh, something with the company, her share or whatever. Always about the money with them.” he answers casually, tossing a look over his shoulder. 
It’s genuine enough, but all too similar to the rehearsed lines. You half-expected him to call you nosy. 
“No real loss there.” Harley adds, a hint of disdain in his voice
“Not a fan I take it?” The flimsy tag finally crumbling under your ministrations.
He chortles as he slumps back into the bar stool. 
“Pepper can be, uh,” A yawn and an eye rub take precedence, “overbearing, yeah that’s a good word for it.”
“Yeah, can’t imagine that worked well for Tony.” You murmur into your tea.
“Oh it most definitely did not.” Harley laughs again. “Not for a guy that does the opposite of whatever you tell him.”
His laugh is infectious (like father like son), and you smirk even though instead the mental picture makes you cringe. A lull passes between you. Outside, morning traffic begins, trickling upwards to interrupt the quiet. It cues Harley to get back to whatever it is he comes here to do, while you move on with the day. 
As an advantage of all the free time, you get to invest more time in your estranged friendships. Being around old friends turned out to be surprisingly good. You had anticipated more awkwardness, but there was something comforting about not having to wear a mask for once around someone besides your boyfriend. 
At this point, you slowly filled in a few close ones about your relationship with Tony. Clearly you were in this for the long haul, and keeping things under wraps was becoming futile. The general consensus was positive, thankfully. Obviously, that’s due to a great deal of details being omitted. The act left a sour taste in your mouth. Not from the content–how easy it was. You hated to repeat such behaviors, but it was less complicated this way. You wouldn’t have to labor through justifying your relationship, or hear concerns you didn’t already have. 
Tony’s reception was, oddly, less positive. He didn’t care much for your old ‘starving artist’ clique. He thought you should take advantage of his access to New York’s greatest–the real pioneers. It took little arguing from you for him to drop that thought entirely, and he conceded to just be happy to see you happy. 
Like good friends, they tease about your newfound love. One asks when they’ll get to meet ‘Mr. CEO’ and you have to brush it off casually. You like your worlds better separate. 
A sweltering autumn soon becomes frostbitten winter. This gives you less light to work with, resorting to find shuddering shoulders in complete darkness. You don’t think it’s worth searching for warmer pastures or a simpler life. No, you order a cashmere robe and get used to seeing by touch. 
Late nights in the tower turn out to be a great place to hone such skills. The halls are narrow and void of any windows, so you ghost the pads of your fingers around for customary shapes. A cushioned nook and a neglected book lull you into a nap one evening and you wake past the sunset. If you were able to sleep so late undisturbed, Tony must be preoccupied. You planned to tiptoe into the kitchen without a sound, but your ears catch words murmured behind the glass. The door is cracked slightly, just enough to let a streak of light breaks across the hardwood floor
“–fifteen, ten, maybe if we’re lucky.” 
The bespeckled man’s words are measured, precise as usual. You can almost picture his lips barely parting to utter syllables behind round-trim frames. 
“Jesus christ–the fuck am I paying you for? Because I am paying you, like a metric shit ton” 
At Tony’s voice, you press closer. 
“I’m not the idiot getting a divorce.”
“Okay, okay, let’s just stay focused here.” Natasha raises her voice above the two men, and you hear a chair drag across the office.
“Uh-uh, don’t think you’re getting off scot free–we wouldn’t even be having this conversation if you did your job a tad better too.” 
“I will say it was ‘lot easier to spread the financials between two people.” 
Social norms concerning privacy start to get to you, urging your feet to pivot and take you back upstairs. Your escape goes undetected, and you seek refuge in the shower. 
You wash the day away under warm jetstreams. Part of your mind is stuck replaying everything, wondering how he was handling it all, trying not to indulge in the urge to check the sink drawer. In a flash, you toss the thought away. It’s easy to not overthink at this hour. Especially when coconut vanilla soap tugs you back towards exhaustion. You make it back out to the bedroom, where you find Tony removing his shoes at the end of the bed.
He smiles at the crack of light from the bathroom. Tony’s days were getting longer while the rest of the hemisphere’s got shorter. He would say he missed when life was simple, but he can’t remember such a time. Life growing up was anything but simple, then the older he got the more it sucked out every ounce of his energy. Everything after became, well, everything after.
Picturing a new future keeps him going. One in a coastal city, something global like New York but much, much warmer. He fights the urge to picture your silhouette amongst the waves. It’s not guaranteed. He might find himself in this dreaded cycle all over again. Then his coconut scented fantasy would be tarnished. 
No, it’s better to cherish the present with you. Like right now, watching coconut scented water droplets descended down your legs and shoulders. Even though he knows he won’t be here long. Truly, he’d wish you weren’t awake,  knowing he’d have to leave soon.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You teased, abandoning your towel as you pulled the dresser open.
He’s easy to rile up, and you know exactly what you’re doing–bending over slowly to pull your panties above your hips. You can’t help it when he stares like it’s his first time seeing you, every time. 
“Please don’t tempt me.” 
Tony’s voice is low, barely above a whisper. He’s unmoving on the edge of the bed, hands braced beside his thighs as his eyes follow the movements of your hands around lacy black fabric. Truly he’s perplexed. Who knew watching someone get dressed would be just as much of a turn-on. Or maybe it’s just you.
You toss one of his faded band tees on, and he thinks this might actually be better than any sun-soaked dream (it’s definitely just you). 
You cross the bedroom, the loose cotton brushing against your skin with each step. As you approach, you snake your arms around Tony's neck and straddle his lap. His large hands ghost up the smooth skin of your thighs, leaving a trail of warmth as they make their way to your back. The moment your skin touches his, Tony’s eyes lock onto yours, but you can tell his focus is elsewhere.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly, raking your hands through brown coils.
You assume his mind is still on the conversation downstairs, but the grin spreading on his face says otherwise. His lips move to pepper your exposed neck with kisses, still smiling.
“Really wanna know?” 
“Sure, hit me.”
The ghosts across your veins turn into full blown grazes. 
“You, in a bikini, drinking margaritas somewhere with no extradition laws.” 
You chuckle at the notion and swat his shoulder when his teeth find your pulse point. 
“Hey, you asked,” he laughs into your skin, gripping your hips tighter, “besides it’s your fault–’smell like I’m damn near there already.” 
Tony’s mouth turns hungrier and hungrier, moving feverishly across every exposed inch until the flesh is tender and you're panting in his lap. It’s just encouragement, so he doesn’t pause for a moment as his fingers slip behind your lace. They work at the wetness already ruining the fabric, dragging it across your length and making your shiver. 
Okay, sure, maybe another period of minimal alone time was getting to you, maybe. Sue me, you thought. Honestly, Tony should be more grateful to have such a willing partner–and you told him as much. Unfortunately, this elicited a need for Tony to instill a sense of gratitude in you.
In the next second, you're tossed onto your back, wrists pinned tightly above your head. His other hand pulls your panties down your legs and you try not to make a joke about the futility in getting dressed. Instead, you soak his weight against you, the roaming hand between your thighs and teeth on your neck. 
Marking you is the obvious goal-sucking harder with each breathy whimper. He wasn’t kidding earlier, either. You smelled good enough to devour and he intended on doing so. His danced along your folds, a cufflink scratching the supple skin at the top of your thigh.  They are never anywhere long enough to give you any real pleasure. Just to take more breath from your lungs and feeling from your legs. 
You squirm against vicuna dress pants, trying to gain more friction on his hand. Instead of catering to your needs, he stops all together and the noise you make is almost pathetic. Who are you kidding, it’s fully pathetic–it couldn’t have been over two weeks, and pleas can hardly form on your tongue for more. 
Tony reels back with a smirk that flips your stomach. A scheme is brewing behind darkened pupils. His eyes stay on you as his hand returns to your center, slow and heavy over your clit. 
He doesn’t relent when your wrists strain and hips buck against him. No, a tighter grip and knee over your hip hold you steady enough for his fingers to work faster. You want to chastise yourself for how much you missed this–then two fingers slide into you and there isn’t room to think of much else.
He moves quickly and silent, like a serpent, finding that perfect rhythm that makes your eyes flutter. Your soft moans fill the quiet space. He’s too steady, not changing a muscle as your peak comes closer. The most desperate you get, writing against his palm to get even one extra inch of depth, the slower he moves. 
“Did you have fun sneaking around?” 
Your eyes flutter open in the dim bedroom, Tony’s sly grin shining above you. It cuts straight through the fog of pleasure taking you over. 
“I don’t know what you’re–” you start to bluff. 
“You’re not very sneaky, you know? Or a good liar. That’s a particular skill set that you, my dear, sorely lack.”  Slow and teasing, he slides two fingers back into you.
“Okay, okay. Maybe I was eavesdropping a little.” He finally moves with purpose again, but of course not enough.
“A little? Let’s not start underrepresenting things, hm?” 
Before you can debate him further, he withdraws and you think you might honestly cry if this continues.
“Okay, point taken, would you please stop torturing me now?” 
“Now, why would I reward bad behavior?” he asked, lowering his gaze.
“If it helps, I wasn’t trying to.”
“It doesn’t.” 
His palms grip your hips, flipping you onto your stomach and lifting your waist upwards. The sudden movement leaves you breathless, searching for balance on your forearms until they’re pulled behind your back. 
“You know exactly which nerve to press, don’t you?” he breathes into the base of your neck, chest flush to your back as he hands work at his zipper.
How ironic, considering he spends the next hour tuning your body like an instrument. Knowing exactly where to press, where to ease off, until you finally unlock, bare and moaning into the mattress.
Afterwards, you fall asleep to the steady beat of his heart. 
You’re half way to sleep when Tony slinks out of your arms. At first, you don’t bother stirring. Then, the soft draw of the dresser catches your ear. 
You flip over onto your stomach to get a better view. You watch Tony’s shadowy figure attempt to quietly dress. For a rare sight, he abandons the tailored suit for dark Levis and a t-shirt. It hardly looks like him, in the best way possible (ignoring the obvious question of where the hell he planned on going in that. Less larger-than-life, more real. This, now this was someone you can imagine running into at the grocery store. The sharp edges of his suits always added a degree of gravitas to everything.
“Where are you off to?”
“Going to see a man about a horse.” 
He leans down for a bright smile and a quick kiss before he leaves, and you let sleep suppress any thoughts about what that could possibly mean.
You awake to a sun that has long outran the horizon. The sheer curtains were already pulled back, with the smell telling you Jarvis made a feast for breakfast. Tony’s side is empty. Which is no surprise there, but you don’t expect him at the kitchen table. 
He grins behind a newspaper as you approach. Jarvis is busy with the espresso machine, muttering curses under his breath. 
“Tell me, what are your thoughts on cyclamen–oo, or actually, narcissus, yeah, that’s better.” Tony asks like you've been having some sort of conversation before five seconds ago.
Jarvis clicks the tamper in with a satisfied click as you stare back confused. You’re two blinks away from falling back asleep and desperately craving something stronger than green tea. 
“What are you-Is-Are those restaurants?” 
“Oh, morning ma’am. Shall I prepare you a tea, perhaps breakfast?” Jarvis turns at the sound of your voice, wiping damp grounds from his hands.
“Good morning, but no, just some coffee, please.” You try to sound natural. It’s weird giving someone else orders. 
“Nope, flowers. We could do something simple like a peony but I don’t think that matches the whole vibe with the satin garlands.” Tony continues. 
“Tony, hon, I have no idea what you’re on about right now.” you groggily slouch in the chair beside him. 
“We, my dear,” the newspaper is folded and plopped onto the table for dramatic effect, “are having a Christmas party. The proverbial ‘we’ in this situation being the company, of course.” 
“A Christmas party?” you muse with a laugh.
“For tax purposes, a gala. For my purposes, and therefore to make it fun, it is indeed a party, yes.” 
Espresso warms your veins as you listen to Tony ramble through plans for catering, guests, decanters and a whole bunch of other shit you can hardly keep up with. Good thing that responsibility falls to Jarvis, who jots away on a worn notepad. Once your eyes fully open, the thought starts to excite you. Your yearly festivities normally boiled down to a bottle of chardonnay and some loosely Christmas film like Die Hard. “Plus, if I auction some art, it works out even more.” He punctuates his brilliant plan with a bite of a muffin. 
“That’s not like a massive trigger for you?” 
High-volume social events dropped off the radar recently, for good reason, you assumed (not that you minded a break from fake smiles and cold handshakes) . Instead, Tony dragged you along to more intimate dinners with whatever broker or councilwoman he needed to charm. Your role as plus-one never went anywhere, but doing so at Tony’s your home would give you more confidence. 
“What are you, my sponsor?” he teases but you're less amused at the thought. 
“You don’t even have a sponsor.” You know so, because Tony believes Narcotics Anonymous is a, quote, ‘sad-ass glorified tea party’. 
“I have Jarvis.” He’s completely serious, and Jarvis hides his laughter behind a stack of plates.  
You don’t want to point out the obvious cognitive dissonance. That a man who spends his nights in petrified somnolence might crack under the pressure of dozens of inebriated colleagues. Not now, in a moment of peace. Not in front of Jarvis. You’re not sure how much sound slips out into the hall.
Tony watches the worry creep over your face from the edge of his newspaper. With a sigh, he abandons it again.
“Look, all you have to do is look pretty–which is no sweat for you, maybe drink a few apple cider cocktails, and relax. I’ve got everything else perfectly handled.”
He gives you a look, both reassuring and decisive. It’s a simple message meant to be taken without debate, ‘trust me’. 
You get one more peaceful morning drinking tea in the dark with Harley before the holiday season.
The event overtakes your life from Thanksgiving onward. You really don’t know how this sudden festive fervor spawns, but it slowly creeps into everything. From the elevator music, to miniature elves by the door, to candy canes everywhere, and more Christmas ties than days in December (you can’t be sure he’s not switching them multiple times a day). 
You weren’t a total Grinch, not by a long shot. Tony just so happened to be creeping into that weird overly festive zone reserved for suburban moms and kindergarten teachers. 
“Tony, what’s all of this?”
Vivaldi plays faintly on the record player. There’s a delicately placed mistletoe just off of the elevator, accompanied with a haphazard trail of roses leading out onto the balcony. You navigate through a candlelight kitchen juggling a heavy box of resin. 
“Tony?” you call out again once the box makes contact with the counter,
“Out here!” 
You follow the voice and rose trail to the balcony. Unsurprisingly, he’s donning a god awful Christmas sweater, grinning and pointing to the wool like it’s runway fashion. A small table holds two covered silver platters, and a tall bottle of champagne rests in a bucket of ice. It’s the kind of overtly romantic display you’d gotten since night one, but it never fails to sink your breath straight in your heart. Something about the way he’s standing there, beaming like a nervous, lovestruck fool, tells you this isn’t just a normal gesture of affection.
Still, your lips part to thank him, but he stops you instantly. 
“Just wait–” he pleads, “I got like thirty minutes of practice into saying this and I can’t fuck it up.” 
His voice is rushed enough that you believe. Clearly the words were threatening to jump out of him. It sets you a bit on edge, trying to anticipate what this was about. You indulge him anyway and nod. 
Tony crosses the balcony to take your hands in his, thumb brushing over your knuckles. 
“Okay, I know things haven’t been copacetic around here. And I know I’ve asked for a lot–more than I ever thought I would–and you know sometimes it feels like I’ll never be able to return what you’ve given to me, but I swear I’m going to make this worth it.” 
He squeezes your palm, tired brown eyes searching yours for something, any sign that his words meant a single thing. It’s a fast-winded speech that makes you wanna laugh at the irony. Tony, the man who’d move the stars if they had a price tag, somehow feeling the need to repay you.�� Yet his voice is raw like a frayed nerve. Exposed to the cold winds whipping against the tower glass. 
“Tony, you’ve made it more than worth it, everyday.” You smile, though it’s worth wondering what’s driving him to say all this. The words ring true regardless.
“Not nearly enough,” he says softly, “but I’m going to–I’m going to give you the world.”
In that moment, you see it: the weight of everything he’s been carrying. Your ribs seem to tighten inside your chest. That unspoken fear you’ve both been trying to avoid–it was far easier twenty seconds ago when you thought it was yours alone. You realize now that the fearless man you saw in fact was scared of something (losing you, primarily). Yeah, you comforted him through nightmares, but even then he managed to carry an aura of control.  
This wasn't about  holding onto the life you’ve built together, the one that’s felt so fragile lately. And for the first time, you see how much that matters to him, too.
He starts to say something else, dropping your hands. His fingers fiddle behind his back, seemingly nestled in his back pocket. He stares like he intended to say something else, lips parting and closing right back. In the next second, he seems to shift gears, pulling you into a hug. 
You welcome the warm embrace, as the chill has started to gnaw at your bones. He plants a kiss to the top of your head, and you want to stay in that feeling for the rest of your life.
Sadly, he does eventually pull away to admit dinner on the balcony would be quite miserable, and the two of you move inside. 
You could spend the rest of the evening overthinking about what all that meant, but you don’t bother. Why go through that mental labor, when instead you could drink $500 champagne, carefree while your handsome boyfriend flirts with you like it’s the first date. 
You don’t think about it then, or later in the night when your legs are pressed to your chest and you can’t recall a single thing he said. You focus on what he’s saying then–filthy words about who you belong to, and exactly where you belong–a whimpering mess underneath him.
Even when it turns possessive (more so than usual), when your throat is littered with marks and his hand stands to leave another on his hip, you don’t think of it. But it’s the only thing on Tony’s mind. When another orgasm rips through you, all he can think about is how much he needs you. He whispers ‘you’re mine’ over and over and over as you fall apart just so your broken moans can still echo–so he can hear just how true it is. How could you, with such a dutiful guide at the helm?
Afterwards, when you’re drained of every ounce of life, it still doesn't bother you. You don’t wonder if tonight might be another night he slips into plain clothes and disappears until sunrise. You can’t muster a single thought as his arm slinks around your waist to pull you closer. 
You simply close your eyes, and let sleep take you. 
Eventually the days tick by to the gala, and you’re somewhere between impressed and overstimulated with all the ensuing holiday glamor. 
Though, you can’t say he doesn’t go all out. 
The first floor of Stark Industries is transformed from a cold minimalist space to Ebenezer Scrooge's worst nightmare. A makeshift stage sits at one end, complete with enough tinsel to suffocate a horse and twinkling garlands. Piles of fake snow anoint the corners, and a particularly large one sits beneath a 12-foot tall Christmas tree in the middle of the lobby. The open bar even serves drinks in frosted holiday glasses. He even has the guards wearing reindeer ears. 
By ten p.m. the vast floor seems smaller than a shoebox, packed with guests in evening gowns and tailored tuxedos. Initially, you’d planned on wearing a new piece for the gala–something to make the overwhelming festivity Tony demanded. Once it came time to get dressed, your eyes caught the sanguine dress. You hadn’t gotten the chance to wear it since your first date. It had felt too exquisite for any other occasion, but for some reason you were drawn to wear it tonight. 
You wish you could say Tony had a good reaction–or a reaction at all. From sunrise until the doors opened, he’s caught up in planning and preparations. Matter of fact, you were two hours into the gala and had only seen glimpses of him shaking hands in the crowd. It takes away from the expected familiarity. You imagined this night to be simple, easy for you to blend it with Tony on your arm, in his home your home. Instead, you wander like a lost gazelle, feeling every pair of eyes on you. You want to blame the dress. Revealing and bright red.
In the blurry swarm of faces, bright auburn stands out. Natasha wouldn’t be your first pick, but she’s the only familiar face and you need a respite.
You squeeze in next to her at one of the corner tables. The spice of her perfume permeates your nose but you can look past it for the moment. She pays you no mind at first, legs crossed and head turned to the crowd. You don’t mind one bit. It’s quieter towards the back, and you have no issue with it staying that way. 
Natasha sighs deeply, almost in boredom, maybe annoyance, but not with you. 
“I don’t know how you stand him.”
“How do you figure?” you respond absently, picking apart at a stray piece of tinsel.
“One of the richest men on Earth-I know he’s got the ego to match it.”
“You’d know better than I would, wouldn’t you?” you answer. You’d gotten the sense Natasha and Tony back way further than him and Pepper a while ago,
“Touche, but I’m not dating him.” she shifts to take another sip from her glass, “though, I’m not really sure why you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you really love him, or are you just after a family fortune?” Emerald eyes points like knives, her tone blending from casualty to scorn.
“W-what,” you stammer, “Of course I love him–Tony pursued me.”
“Please, he’d pursue anything with a pulse,” Natasha chuckles, “and relax, I’m just finally getting around to doing my due diligence.” 
“Your ‘due diligence’ is being a cunt?”
“Ooh! I see you’re a feisty one–you did sit here after all, you know.” she muses.
“Just needed a break from the crowd,” you mummer, rising. 
“Stay then–relax, like I said.” she gestures towards your now-empty seat. When you sigh and retake your place, she smiles. “I like you, you know.”
“We’ve barely spoken.” you declare, a dry chuckle spewing alongside. 
“That doesn’t mean I don’t know a smart person when I see one.” 
“Smart?”
“Smart decisions, going out with Tony, not screwing that up, though I’ve been told you’ve come close a few times.”
“Who–”
“This isn’t an interrogation, like I said, I like you–I don’t really care what happens between you two.”
“Then what is this?” you flag the nerdy tuxedoed waiter for a glass of water. 
“You said it yourself, we’ve barely spoken. My job is to keep Tony’s business running smoothly, and that’s become a lot harder since he won’t make a single decision without considering the ‘y/n’ of it all.” 
You scoff, unimpressed. “We don’t talk about his business.”
“Oh, I know,” Natasha remarks, “A bartender has no idea how to run a billion dollar corporation, and even less of an idea how to advise one.” 
“This is the part where you tell me I have no business being with him, right?” The waiter drops off a tall pitcher of water for you both. Once your glass is full, he passes along a message that Tony’s speech starts soon. 
“Dear god no,” Natasha laughs, “I imagine you’ve heard that enough–and he’s much more pleasant since you came around. Besides, you’re living the dream.” 
“Is that so?” You have to give a laugh of your own (considering you had a bit of jealousy buried for her). 
“Oh yes, filthy rich, live in a penthouse, never work another day in your life, loving husband–maybe not my dream, but still a dream.” 
You don’t know if she’s trying to be funny but your next laugh is genuine, and she joins in.
“What is your dream, then?” you question.
Natasha’s grin stiffens, surprised. Contemplation passes for a second and you worry that you’ve underdone the last three minutes of camaraderie. 
“Ballet teacher–but that stays at this table.” She gives you a matching pointed look.
“My lips are sealed.” You do try not to giggle, but it’s odd to imagine her frigidity in a warm lit studio surrounded by tutus. 
“Did you mean it, what you said about Tony? That things are...okay?” Natasha asks, referring to Tony’s sobriety. It’s weird how everyone dances around it, especially someone so usually straightforward as her. 
It was weeks ago when you parroted that claim. And you only call it that because the question annoys the fuck out of you. It’s entirely subjective, and you give in to the optimistic look in their eye and tell them what they want to hear. He’s fine, better even.
Maybe it’s because she’s being nice, or because you already gave up this facade with Harley, but you can’t be bothered to pretend you know what’s going on with him all the time. Besides, clearly you weren’t doing a good enough job for her to ask you about it again
“I want to say yes, but I don’t know, I guess?” you admit, staring into the crowd. 
Natasha’s mouth parts to speak again, only to have the microphone’s feedback interrupt her. The host–some Nobel prize winning chemist Tony invited to pull donors–clears his throat before starting his introduction, and the noise draws to a lull. Natasha excuses herself, presumably to find Tony before his speech. You decide to stay at the back of the lobby, with a good enough view of the stage. 
Supposedly this entire sordidly festive affair had a true business purpose, some big announcement Tony was making on the ‘future of the company’. He didn’t explain much more than that, and you’re certain the technical logistics were beyond you anyway. 
After a long, boring welcome, the mic is passed off to Tony. It’s the first time today you’ve been able to see him fully–draped in a jet black tuxedo and bright red bowtie. 
It whines again in his grip, and Tony pauses once the cheers die down, glancing at the expectant faces below. Thick cards press into his palm, each written meticulously inked by Natasha last night He clears his throat, glancing out past the lights into the crowd. He hopes they can’t see how heavy the stillness starts to weigh on him like before. The sudden quiet, all that attention. Including yours, somewhere out there. His heart stalls at how must look to you up here. Larger than life probably, or maybe you weren’t looking at all (he hopes you aren’t). A hundred odd pairs of eyeballs, and he hides from yours. 
Tony knew what he had to do, and was quite confident in his choice. But he can’t risk looking you in the eye while he does it. Ironically, his decision had very little to do with you, and everything to do with Pepper. The edge of his mouth still twitches. 
“Tonight…” he starts, turning the twitch into a warm smile, “…I’ve asked you all to be here in celebration, to celebrate Stark Industries, and talk about the future of the company,” He clears his throat, rolling his shoulders as if trying to loosen some unseen knot.
There’s a small, brief ripple of confusion among the front of the room, murmurs. Something shifts in his expression—just a flash—before his eyes catch something and harden. A gesture is made to the guard at the end of the stage. His hand tightens around the mic.
“To keep things transparent,” he says, stuffing the cards into his pocket, “the real reason I threw this party, asked you all to be here, is because I want everyone to see how much this means to be.”
Your ears perk up. Natasha swears under her breath, glancing at you before sharply leaving the table, tapping away at her phone. Tony can’t hide from your gaze anymore, and he finds your confused face in the back corner. Before you think about a path to escape, the crowd follows his attention, taking their eyes from the billionaire to the nobody fiddling with tinsel alone.
“I want to celebrate the love I have for this woman, and take this opportunity to share it with everyone.” 
What the hell is he doing?, you think. He can't be doing this here, like this. 
“The truth is,” he pauses, feeling his phone buzz off the hook (most certainly Natasha telling him to stop), “I’m getting married, and Stark Industries will be welcoming a new partner in its operations.”
The room erupts in a chorus of oos and awes, all to the tune of your racing heart. It takes you a second to process. He means getting married to you. You never even talked about marriage, the future, anything like that. Yeah, maybe in passing the idea came up, but at no point did you accept a marriage proposal. 
Everything feels nauseatingly blurry after. Random individuals come over with their congratulations, while half the crowd stares and the other half still bothers to listen to the rest of Tony’s speech. It’s a bunch of nonsense about restructuring and profits, and you’re too confused, pissed, and too fed up with fake smiles to bother standing around to listen. 
You suffer through two more superficial conversations about the marriage you were only made privy a few minutes ago. Finally, you escape to the restroom. You find an empty stall to hide in, trying to process what was going through Tony’s mind.
He couldn’t be serious, could he? This wasn’t real–it was some ploy or tactic. He didn’t genuinely intend to marry you. You didn’t like to think of the long-term for the same reasons you didn’t think about the short-term. This was unpredictable, you learned that. You learned to be okay with that. You could soak in the pleasures indefinitely without ever worrying about how it might all end. This, this brought it into a sharp focus you weren’t ready for. 
You’re not even certain he’s fully divorced yet. 
Once your palms finally dry, and the threat of a panic attack fades, you step out of the restroom. You don’t even know what to think, and the sterile walls weren’t helping. Glancing back toward the gala, you spot Tony scanning the room—until his eyes find yours. You don't hold his gaze long; instead, you turn sharply toward the elevator. You hear your name faintly called from somewhere behind, but you keep moving down the hall, ignoring it.
He breaks into an awkward jog to catch you. You keep your eyes forward.
“[Y/N], look I know this wasn’t what you were expecting, and I can explain I just need–” he starts,
“You’ve lost your fucking mind, Stark,” Natasha heels stomp angrily down the hall, stepping in front you to point her finger in Tony’s face, “what the hell are you doing?”
“Alright, alright, not you right now–cut it out!” He smacks her hand away flippantly, “I’m not entirely sure you and Matt haven’t been drinking the kool-aid either.” 
Tony huffs and straightens his bowtie and you step back from Natasha’s heat. Behind the three of you, someone gets their hands on a karaoke machine and a terrible rendition of Santa Baby follows.
“The whole point of this bullshit was to go public and get out of this shit so explain to me how this gets us anywhere closer to that?” She grits.
Tony throws his hands in the air, “Maybe it doesn’t, but your dumbass plan wasn’t any better.”
“You think marrying her is going to help you? You know I was joking when I said that, right?” 
Suddenly, a spotlight seems to beam over you. Neither party stops their death glare to fully acknowledge you. That wasn’t a proposal–you were just some pawn in their game.
You don’t even know what the hell they’re playing for.
“This is a great time to remind you who signs your checks.” 
Only then do her eyes bother to glance at you. 
“This isn’t gonna end well, and you know it.” She concedes, still stern. After that, she stomps back off into the crowd. 
Tony turns towards you, but you're already back at the elevator, watching the buttons finally reach L.
“[Y/N], please–” 
The doors ding open and you don’t stop to hear anymore. Despite your feverous attempt to close the doors, Tony makes his way inside. The door just barely misses his coattail, to your annoyance.   
Even worse, and completely on par for the evening, the jingle bells elevator music plays the moment the doors shut. 
A hard, awkward beat passes. You’re pinching the bridge of your nose, sparsely emptied of any more energy for this night (mentally or otherwise). 
“You look fucking stellar, by the way, love that dress–”
“Tony.”
“Right, you’re right, sorry.”
Neither of you spare another word from the elevator to the bedroom. Tony follows behind, closing the door softly as you toss your earring onto the dresser. You’re waiting for him to speak again. Explain, deflect–hopefully just explain, but he doesn’t. He sits at the end of the bed, eyes trained to you in the mirror. 
“Why didn’t you ask me? Alone? Before today?” you sigh, “
“I wanted to, I was going to, the other night on the balcony I just–” he answers quickly, but trails off in a way that has you turning to face him instantly.
You don’t doubt that for a second. Truthfully, the level of effort and random heartfeltness of the night gave you some clue. But, when it never came you just chalked it up to Tony being Tony. Painfully romantic in most conditions. 
“You just what, didn’t want to?” There’s anger, though you know it's hypocritical. 
“No I just,” he exhales, dragging his fingers through slicked back hair, “I knew you’d say yes.”
“You knew I’d say yes? What the hell does that mean?” Your necklace joins the rest of your jewelry with a loud clink. 
“This is coming out all wrong–”
“You think?” The six inch heels are the next thing to go, throwing haphazardly in the closet. Tony rises to cut you off in front of the door, eyes pleading for understanding you’re not sure you have. 
“I saw the look in your eye, I’d done so much to make sure you’d say yes in that moment because I needed you to–not because I wanted it and that wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.”
“You don’t know that I’d say yes.”
“You would,” he says with that practiced charm, all sunny but hollow. A trademark Stark move—confidence teetering on arrogance. When you hesitate, he’s ready with another word, a gaze intense enough to hypnotize. “You know you would.”
You laugh, looking away as if it’s absurd. “Are you really so sure?”
His hand slips into yours, gentle but firm, thumb brushing across your knuckles in a way that makes it seem like he’s talking to you, only you, and not the thousand voices in his head screaming at him to get this done. 
“I know you’re scared, but” he says, leaning into your warmth. “Don’t leave me hanging here, please.”
“You sound so desperate, it’s kind of sad.” 
But there’s a softness to your voice now, a hint that he might be getting through. For a moment he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get away with this again, that you’d learned all his tricks since the boutique. 
It’s enough of a crack in your resolve for him to keep pushing. He slips closer, voice low. 
“Look, I know I keep asking a lot of you, but, There’s a pause, just long enough to let the ache in his voice sit, before he adds, “this could fix everything, everything can be okay.”
There’s a sliver of doubt in your eyes, and that’s what he clings to. 
“And when was the last time everything was okay, Tony?” You watch him in the bureau’s mirror. 
 “It could be. All I need for you to do is say yes, so I can fix this,” He squeezes your hand, the hint of desperation all but veiled now. 
And when you finally exhale, when that flicker of sympathy slips in, he knows he’s won.
It’s good enough. Better than he hoped, honestly. The relief slides into him like a tonic, loosening the tight lines in his jaw. He keeps his hand on yours, knowing the warmth of it will serve to distract from the creeping dread, from the hollow pit that’s been widening ever since the stakes got so high he couldn't see the top of them.
For Tony, this is all still just a means to an end. One step closer to true liberty and the life he was supposed to have. If he had to lie and disappoint–cheat and charm, then he’d do it. It would be worth it. In the end, the sum of his achievements would outweigh his sins.
He reminded himself of that a month ago, the night before he decided to have the gala. When the bedroom door closes, a sigh of relief escapes. He was lucky that you didn’t catch the conversation with Matt and Natasha in full. What he had in the works was sensitive, and he couldn’t have that ruined by anyone knowing the details in advance. He couldn’t lose you again, not when he needed you most. 
There is a shred of guilt as the elevator whirs down to the garage. You’re probably thinking the worst, understandably, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Only to pray his love was enough to placate you for now. 
Especially when he doesn’t even want to fucking do this. Each day seems to come at the loss of his autonomy, another suit on his payroll telling him what’s best for his life. It’s more deplorable when the people closest to him come up with the shittiest ideas to fix this. He can truly thank Pepper for his recent migraines (and a bunch of old ones). Filing for divorce was quite a move to try to get what she wanted, and throw him to the mercy of the Securities and Exchange Commission at the same time. If you listen to Matt, Tony’s mere minutes away from a cold cell. If you listen to Nat, Tony’s plummeting stock will be the sealer of his fate. And as of right now, two of the smartest people he knows can’t come up with anything that doesn’t come at the cost of you or his company. And he can’t live with either. 
Since, both their solutions arguably suck, he tells a lie or lack thereof to find a third opinion. Or a hail mary. However it’s called, it’s a long shot that he can’t be certain won't jeopardize him even more. 
The drive to Hudson Valley is peaceful, to the point he forgets his world is on fire. It’s late, or early, depending on who you ask. Few cars grace the road and he finds solace in the solitude. The radio is ignored for the repetitive rumble of the tires, until paved tar turns into rough gravel. 
When Pepper sent over the address, he wasn’t too surprised. She always rambled about moving out of the city, dreaming of cabins in the woods and sprawling hills. Tony could never wrap his head around living anywhere else. In retrospect, that was another early omen. They never even shared the same dream. 
He can’t say it doesn’t look impressive. A dark a-frame that strikes beautifully against the earthen spruce. Maybe that is why she had him drive all the way out here and not somewhere in the city. Part of masterplan to show him what she presumes he’s missing out on. 
The porch lights flicker on once he parks, and he makes his way up the stone path to find Pepper sitting just outside the door. She’s preoccupied with a thick novel, acknowledging Tony with the raise of a finger. 
It’s strange, being alone with her for the first time in years. She’s not dressed in Valentino but tattered college sweats he had forgotten about. Seeing her at the penthouse all those months ago was troubling, but this was different. Here, it’s too quiet. Even though he’s a few paces away from the table, he can hear the tension of her nails against the pages–the swirl of wind through her hair. Sure, she can’t control the environment but he knows this is a calculated move too. To make him wait, make him uncomfortable. Every other sense sharpens in the absence of constant noise. Norway spruce and duplicity. 
He’s losing his nerve and he needs this over. 
“Why the hell’d you make me drive this far out anyway?” He tries to keep a level voice, knowing she wouldn’t hesitate to use his irritation against him. 
“It’s the one place I’m certain your little spy hasn’t found yet.” she murmurs.
Okay, fine, so he’d used his son to spy on his ex-wife. Big deal, he couldn’t be certain she wasn’t doing the same. Plus, Harley had offered to keep an eye on her. It was a matter of security, not personal (mostly). 
“Can we get on with this?”
“I suppose,” she sighs, tossing the book onto the table. The thud reverberates, stark against the stillness of the valley. “But I’m not sure what it is you want from me–you did call me after all.”
“I did.” And he’s regretting it every second.
“So, what can I do for you?”
“You can start by accepting the deal Murdock sent, and let this be over.” 
Pepper chuckled, crossing her legs. “What are you playing at, Tony?”
“I’m not playing at anything–this needs to be over, you need to move on.”
“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself,” she scoffs, “this is all very rich considering you’ve held me in litigation for months, you rejected my offers over and over, so why the sudden change of heart?”
A cold chill and burning annoyance pull him closer to the table. 
“Yes, because I should just give you forty-five percent of my company–I can get it gift-wrapped too if that makes it all the better.”  
“That’s right, your ego won’t let you admit I’m the only reason you have a company to speak of.”
“Can’t you find an ounce of compassion in that gaping pit you call a soul, for me?”
“Such harsh words from someone who needs something from me.” Pepper smirks and stands once the heat recedes from Tony’s face. 
“Take the twenty percent, finalize the papers, and end this, or else there won’t be anything for either of us.”
She circles the table to stop in his view. Tony wishes he had a time machine.
“Let me guess, someone’s under a little heat.” she muses, voice high and dripping in sugary venom.
“Little is an understatement.” He steps back, hands tight in her pockets.
“And why would I give up my shares to help you?”
“This entire thing started with you, and the second it wasn’t convenient you ran. The least you could fucking do is help me out of it.” Tony snapped. 
“Right, and if I don’t?” 
She still laughs, because it’s all a good game to her. Entertaining to see him against the ropes–desperate enough to reach out to her. For once though, it’s calming. It soothes his anger and reminds him why he agreed to this at all. This time, he had an ace up his sleeve.
“Then I’ll tell just that to whoever needs to know–you know I have the evidence. You’ll go down right alongside me.”
In the quiet solace, for a moment, she’s outplayed. Her smile falters and brows crinkle. Truthfully, as much as he’d love to, he could never sell her out. But she had a terrible tendency of assuming the worst of him, and he was banking on that. 
“Please do, I’m sure they’d love to hear what I know about Obadiah.” 
Oh, so that was her ace.
A soft buzz vibrates his back pocket. He doesn’t need omniscience to know it’s you. He can picture it clearly–you, traipsing around the penthouse looking for signs of life. He knows you hate that feeling, and he hates to cause it. 
There’s a more pressing issue; not giving Pepper the emotional reaction she wants.
“You wouldn’t do that.” Spare words from some forgotten bin. 
“Not if you don’t force my hand.” 
A painful pause ensues. The valley’s fauna recognize the tension, silencing out of respect for the sound of Tony’s plan shattering. A true stalemate. Not what he came for, but his throat swells thinking about the aftermath from a war of attrition. 
He can’t let that get out, above all else. That’d be his dissolution. Stark Industries, everything he worked for would vanish. You, without question. You never see him the same again. The crafted image he sought, the life he was creating with you for you, it’d be wasted effort. 
“What’s it gonna take for you to help me?”
After another migraine-causing conversation, Tony slumps into the driver seat, shoulders heavy and eyelids even heavier. Fifteen minutes have passed since your text, and he wonders if it's better not to answer at all. 
[ everything okay?  ]
[ be home soon ]
Ignore. Deflect. Move on.  
The drive back to the city is less pleasant. Actually, it’s a nightmare that he disassociated through the moment he entered the garage. He was, tragically, fucked. There was no telling if he had the capital to replace whatever Pepper took, and he certainly couldn’t risk everything by going public. And if he didn't give Pepper what she wanted, he might be looking at a depressing future behind bars. And that was not an option. 
So he’s at the mercy of the ginger Judas who put him on the path in the first place. Go figure. There’s self-blame for entertaining this option at all. For not guessing she’d snake her way into the upperhand like always. This wasn’t a beast he could defeat with regular tactician and planning. No, he needed to surprise her–usurp her. Piss her off the way she pissed him off. Go against the grain and act in a way that she couldn't predict. Something she couldn’t maneuver around. 
So, when the mic graced his hands, and the coached words on his marriage, the marriage  he never asked you about. The marriage he couldn’t ask you about because he wasn’t ready either. 
He said fuck it, and did it anyway. 
He knew you would’ve said yes then, so you obviously would answer the same afterwards. Even if you were predictably, and understandably pissed, you loved him, and he intended to use that. Grand gestures were his thing after all. A huge public soiree was more on brand than some private dinner. And, he was Tony Stark. The man who got everything he wanted. Why would your hand be any different? Certainly it fell under the same bracket (and really, an argument could be made that he had your loyalty regardless–this was just a title). 
It was justified in his mind the moment the words hit the mic. It just sounds right– Y/N Stark. Like he should have made it that way a long time ago. For a second, the ceaseless pit of vengeance is taken over by something more. 
It;s even easier to justify when he gets a wave of childlike excitement over it. Imagining the ring on your finger, the life he could have with you. Palm trees and salt waves on a remote coast. No more Stark Industries, no more nightmares about cold federal prisons, just you and him. 
Then, in the crowd, he spots what must be Pepper’s lookout. A short, brayish man stays still while dozen roar in congratulatory apologize. Pepper should’ve coached him better, a clear sore loser in a room full of winners. 
The real reason he’s doing this comes back. Tony makes a quick signal to the guard behind him, and moments later the man is escorted upstairs. He used to hate doing this. But he soon learned that humanity gets you nowhere in this business. Still, he almost tells his team to go easy. Then he remembers the cold look on Pepper’s face at the valley while he plead for mercy like a sad dog. 
Fuck that. The man knew the risks. It’s not Tony’s fault they didn’t play in his favor. 
Out of whatever kindness was left, he makes a note to have his body dumped somewhere nice. 
PART SIX SOON
42 notes · View notes
melrosing · 2 days ago
Note
I wanted to share some thoughts here bc personally I understand the opposite! from my POV, the evidence of affection you describe (asking after him in Riverrun, keeping vigil at his bier) are done out of a sense of obligation.
Jaime tacks Tywin onto his question for Catelyn almost as an afterthought - and I don’t think it’s out of affection, but rather the knowledge that the overall wellbeing of his family is tied up with that of his father:
It's Cersei and Tyrion who concern me. As well as my lord father.
And as for keeping vigil… well, he doesn’t complete it. Jaime has the feeling he ought to, because this was his father, after all, but as you say he spends it wondering at the fact that he has no tears to shed, and ultimately surrenders it early to run after Tommen:
[…] all at once the king was running for the doors, as fast as his eight-year-old legs could carry him.
"Ser Osmund, relieve me," Jaime said sharply, as Kettleblack turned to chase the crown.
And outside of these two instances in which Jaime… sort of feels obligated to his father in some way?? there’s not really a single scene, line or word in which affection is suggested. It’s generally just Jaime looking on in horror at Tywin’s work in the Riverlands.
I actually think the matter of whether Jaime loves Tywin is brought up in precisely those chapters:
"Did you love him?" Jaime heard himself ask.
I think the reason Jaime asks Genna this is precisely because he can’t love his father. He doesn’t know what there is to love. He’s trying to see the man from her perspective, to see what he might have missed. This question follows a scene in which Genna has described the times Tywin smiled almost fondly - so it makes sense that this is the point of Jaime’s question. He senses an affection in her for Tywin that is absent in Jaime himself, and so he is asking: did you (could you) love him?
And there’s actually a direct parallel for this scene between Tyrion and Kevan in ASOS:
Tyrion blinked in astonishment. Ser Kevan had always been solid, stolid, pragmatic; he had never heard him speak with such fervor before. “You love him.”
“He is my brother.”
Tyrion likewise finds it difficult to comprehend loving a man like Tywin. And I think these scenes parallel each other intentionally. Tywin’s siblings got to enjoy his protection without suffering Tywin as a parent. After sharing in his ‘embarrassment’ of their father Tytos, the siblings are grateful for Tywin as a figurehead. They love him for it without expecting love in return.
Meanwhile, I think like any kids, the Lannister children want their father to love them. And I think you’d be hard pressed to say he does. And if you said he did, it’s clear they don’t feel it. I think Cersei craves his affection more than her brothers, hence why she remembers ‘secret smiles’ etc, but even that fantasy isn’t really enough to sustain a genuine love. Her feelings after his death are more complex than Jaime’s, but she does ultimately reduce it to the feeling of a missing tooth.
And for me that’s kind of the point?? Tywin raised his children lovelessly, and so he had no love from them. For all he obsesses over his legacy, it is a cold one that sharply contrasts to Ned’s: Ned’s children were raised with love, and remember him with love. Tywin’s struggle to feel anything for him after his death, except fear for what his absence might mean for them.
Did Jaime love Tywin or feel any sort of affection for his father in your opinion? After what he did to Elia and her children and later Tysha he had no delusions about the sort of man Tywin was. He was guilty and somewhat upset after Tywin died do you think that indicates some small amount of love?
Yes, I think Jaime absolutely did love Tywin. When Jaime was imprisoned, he asked for news of his father. When Tywin was murdered, Jaime keeps vigil over his bier (albeit as Kingsguard, which 100% would have pissed Tywin off).
But again, this is all in the context of Tywin's parental abuse.
It was queer, but he felt no grief. Where are my tears? Where is my rage? Jaime Lannister had never lacked for rage. "Father," he told the corpse, "it was you who told me that tears were a mark of weakness in a man, so you cannot expect that I should cry for you." Jaime I, AFFC
He had a terrible fight with his father not long before Tywin's death that ended in Tywin basically disowning him. Jaime freed Tyrion, who murdered Tywin - keeping in mind that Tyrion was in prison sentenced to death because Cersei accused Tyrion of murdering her and Jaime's son, and Tywin (at minimum) went along with Cersei's handling of the trial. Jaime's got some big and complex emotions to feel, and as we see in the quote above, Tywin did not encourage Jaime to develop a full suite of tools to handle those emotions.
Tywin did a lot of damage to all his children. Jaime might love his father, in spite of all the murders and atrocities he did to other people that Jaime academically knows about - but he's also starting to actually reckon with how Tywin and his ethos and his works have fucked up Jaime (and the rest of his family) on a deeply personal level. Jaime is literally standing there trying to work out how he feels about that.
It doesn't mean that Jaime didn't love Tywin and never loved Tywin. It's part and parcel of what makes Tywin exactly as horrible as he is. Part and parcel of the terrible irony of Lannisters, too - all Tywin's children loved him so much they did their best to follow his example, something that has done them no favours in developing the ability to love others. Or themselves.
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lulublack90 · 2 days ago
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Prompt 12 - Jealous
@jegulus-microfic November 12, Word count 746
Previous part First part
James jumped out of his car before any of the others could even unbuckle their seatbelts and opened Regulus’s door for him. Regulus looked up at him a bit bewildered, but took his hand anyway and let James guide him out of the car. 
“How come you never do that for me?” Remus pouted as he walked around the car to where Sirius stood waiting.
“Because of what I let you do to me this morning,” Sirius quipped, raising his brow, daring Remus to keep going as he would definitely describe every moment in minute detail. He’d done it before and would feel no shame in recounting their exploits in front of his brother. Remus smartly kept his mouth shut, and they headed into the gallery silently. 
James was surprised how many people were milling around the exhibits and just how large the art show actually was. There were so many artists showcasing their work. 
“Where’s yours?” He asked Regulus as they followed the crowd to the first display. 
“Back right,” Regulus told him, pointing in the right direction. James started to walk that way, but Regulus tugged his hand to stop him. “No, we have to look at everybody’s. We can’t just go straight to mine,” Regulus muttered quickly. 
“Why not?” James questioned. “I want to see yours,” Regulus’s cheeks turned pink as he ducked his head. 
“I need a few minutes to prepare myself for going over there,” Regulus admitted, clearly nervous about how James would react.
“Let’s go look at some art then,” James said, kissing the back of Regulus’s hand and following after Sirius and Remus. “Thank you for telling me what you needed, love. You can always do that, and I’ll respect it every time,” He didn’t need to look down to know how deep the red was that coloured Regulus’s cheeks now, he could quite happily picture it in his head.
They caught up with Sirius and Remus, the former having a heated discussion with Remus in front of the artist about his piece. 
“I just don’t get it,” Sirius was saying. “I mean, it’s just a tennis ball,” Remus sighed. 
“It’s modern art; the tennis ball represents the way that commercialism has changed the way sports are viewed,”
“It represents a game of fetch,” Sirius retorted, much to the artist's ire. Remus hurriedly moved Sirius along to a painting of a park. “See, Remus, there’s a dog playing fetch with a tennis ball,” He said loudly as they took in the work. 
“I changed my mind,” Regulus said quietly into James’s ear. “I can not follow him around here, let's just go see my stuff,” James beamed down at him. 
“Lead the way, love,” 
Regulus led them all the way to the back of the hall and stopped in front of ‘Burk with a Nana’. “Wait!” James exclaimed. “They let you display it with that name?!” Regulus shrugged. 
“Art,” He said simply, as a means of explanation. “As long as it isn’t too sweary, they don’t mind.” 
James moved with Regulus, looking at each piece. Regulus seemed to lean towards painting, but there were charcoal sketches, clay sculptures and a cat made from intricately twisted gold-coloured wire. James was in awe of Regulus and was about to say so when he spotted him chatting with a tall, dirty-blonde-haired man. He felt suddenly quite jealous, an emotion he wasn’t used to feeling at the easy way they were conversing and the smile on Regulus’s face. He strode over there, putting a possessive arm around Regulus and waited to be introduced. 
“James, this is Evan. Our parents know each other. Evan, this is James, my, er, my…”
“Boyfriend,” James provided helpfully. To be fair to Regulus, they hadn’t discussed labels, but, by the pleased look on Regulus’s face, he quite liked this one. Evan’s eyebrows shot up his face in surprise. 
“Oh, wow,” He said. “Erm, wow, Regulus, that’s so good,” His face softened. “I’m so happy for you. I’m here with my boyfriend, actually. I think you know him. Oh, look, here he is now. Darling, look who it is,” A slim-built man in an expensive-looking suit strode over to their little group, his dark brown hair slicked back expertly, showing off the sparking diamond earring, glinting off the light as he neared them. James felt Regulus still at his side. 
“Barty,” Regulus breathed out when the man stopped before them, looking shocked at who Evan was talking to. 
“Reggie?” 
Next part
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littleplantfreak · 21 hours ago
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Currently Seeking: A Soul Connection
Grim Reaper Hiragi x Reader Cw: mentions of death and...stomach issues? that's pretty much it Word Count: 800ish Hiragi's having a tough time getting your soul, but in the end neither of you really mind that. Kinda based on the game A Date with Death because I kept thinking about Ragi's halloween costume.
“We can’t keep doing this.” The voice grumbles from inside the bathroom. You’re sitting back against the door as you listen to him writhe in anxious agony. The pills you always give him work, just not immediately. 
“I keep winning fair and square,” and the smile in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Sweat drips down his brow as he wonders how you could’ve won a game he rigged against you in the first place, though this certainly isn’t the first time you’ve sweet talked your way into him letting you play for your life. “I even let you choose the game this time, Toma!”
He doesn’t really have a choice, does he? Your ability to keep yourself alive is inherent and nebulous, marring his perfect track record as a grim reaper. It hurts both his stomach and his pride that you’re still on earth and not where your soul should be, at least according to the paperwork. 
“As much as I enjoy our chats, please shut up. You aren’t helping my nerves.”
“You like my voice,” and he hears that little amused scoff you do sometimes. “In fact, I bet you’re totally soothed listening to me right now.”
“Yeah, every time I think you’re done talking it does tend to get better.”
“Rude bastards don’t get the porridge I’m cooking on the stove,” you call back, getting up to check on it. The only reason you make it is because he can’t stomach anything else when he gets like this, though why you’re going along with him and playing friends is beyond you. He grumbles and complains about how much he’d prefer you just give your soul up, but in about two minutes he’ll be out of the bathroom and sitting on your couch while you cue up whatever’s next in your watchlist on the TV. 
Maybe it’s because he cares without saying it, or maybe you’re just lonely and this is the easiest relationship you’ve ever had to put effort into, but regardless you’re really starting to enjoy him being here. 
Sometimes you’ll fall asleep watching a movie with him only to find yourself in your bed, no recollection of being carried. Other times when his stomach is at its worst, you’ll be swaddled on the couch, your favorite stuffed animal sitting next to you as if to comfort you in your now quiet house. 
“Why don’t you just…take it?” You asked the question one day, curious since as far as you know he can just reap you whenever he wants.
“You’re not willing to give it up. It’d be worse for your soul in the long run if it was taken against your will. It’d be different if your body died, but to just take it as you are now could tear it in a way that’d make you unable to pass on, or worse.” His matter of fact tone recited it as if it’d been ingrained in him from birth, which according to him it has. 
Now, the bathroom door opens, Toma’s face slightly less pale. His bowl sits on the side table with extra pills on a napkin next to it and a glass of water that he never asked for but takes gratefully. He’d never say it out loud, but maybe he’s not as bothered as he should be that you’re still alive, despite the constant stomach issues the stress brings.
The movie nights, the way you stretch your legs over his lap while you tell him about your day and the shitty people at work…even the way you tease him for slacking on the job after he loses yet another round of checkers or when the car that was supposed to hit you ends up braking right at the last minute. Even those moments seem to fill him with feelings he’s not used to. Bewilderment, slight concern, and something else that someone who wasn’t in his position would describe as fondness end up bubbling to the surface of his chest. 
Your soul needs to move on eventually, but for now he’ll secretly enjoy these small respites where you both forget that fact. No one but him knows about the small smile that makes its way to his face when your head slumps on his shoulder yet again. Your warmth soaks into his skin reminding him of the warmth of the porridge from earlier. 
It’s only polite for him to make sure you get to your bed. In fact, he could go so far as to say it’s necessary for the eventual completion of collecting your soul. Not because he’s concerned about your sore muscles, and definitely not because he loves the way your cheek rubs against his chest when he’s carrying you. 
Of course not. 
Later he’ll put in an extension on the paperwork for collecting you, citing various vague reasons for the delay and then he’ll wonder what’s going to happen on the next episode of Succession. He can only guess at how you’ll try to psychoanalyze the characters and how you’ll react to the spoiler he read on his phone earlier. Until then he sits on the edge of your bed while your cat kneads against his thigh, your soft breaths filling the room with a kind of warmth only you can bring.
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aistarry · 22 hours ago
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I can really tell how much you love your work, and I appreciate that so much! Both Ai and Hikaru deserved a happy ending, a life together, and your art really made me feel like that truly happened. Part of me would tell you 100% that it did happen. Thank you for this, truly. It's like a beautiful reminder of a farewell with deep meaning. Your words, the expressions of the characters in the drawings, the scenes—everything feels so... I don’t know how to describe it; I’m terrible at expressing myself lol. Maybe that’s why your story resonates with me so much? I don’t know. But I hope my words are a spark that lights up that flame of passion within you whenever you need it, because someone like you deserves to be happy and to feel joy in what you create! ~(*^*~)
Even though I say it a lot, thank you. I love saying it, and without more profound words, “Thank you” is all I have left!
\(☆////☆)/
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A farewell
they had two beautiful children together so.. they can cuddle and all
what I can't fully predict is what Ai would react towards him. That's something canon should give out but.. I have no idea if they will. For the time being I think it'd be a mix of Kana and Akane's reaction towards Aqua, something in between the two but who knows
I wish the writers would have some pity on him because his life was horrible...; He never had a chance to be happy even while having started out as a really good person; I still trust there is a reason why he's written this way but still, I find they handled him pretty cruel.
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thisantithesis · 1 year ago
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i’m so normal about mark bennett and gordo livingstone actually. i have 100 pages left to read in ravensong and i am completely normal. totally fine. fucking dandy, if you will.
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niallsdaya · 4 months ago
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niall horan the girl dad you are
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meat-loving-meat · 7 months ago
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sammygender · 5 months ago
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im new here- is dean abusive?
imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.
he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues
#anon i wonder which way ur approaching this from - having not considered that dean treats sam badly or having never thought of it as Abusiv#mutuals pls feel free to chime in with ur opinions#wrote a bunch of more detailed responses to this but none of them felt right so i was just like. eh#narrative portrays dean as right like All Of The Time bc the shows morality is deans morality its fucked up so that makes it harder for#fandom to see how awful he is sometimes#but i think a lot of people see his awful behaviour but just wouldn’t call it abusive and rather toxic etc because abusive#is such a ‘strong word’ and people have a lot of personal connotations with it#i don’t often even actually use the word abusive to describe him. but he is! and i’ve been watching s4 and he’s just So awful and it’s been#reminding me hugely#dean crit#<- i guess#spn#oliver talks#asks#it’s more than just like. being awful sometimes. bc it’s this systemic pattern of eradicating sam’s sense of identity outside of him#and punishing sam for ‘disobeying’ him (like s4/8)#dean winchester#supernatural#Also when you start recognising dean as abusive the show becomes a legitimate horror story because fucking hell!!!!#narrative just. sides with him most of the time!!!!#if u wanna think abt it for urself id say make sure u know what abuse actually Is and how it can present & then look at a lot of sam and#dean conflicts. do they seem equal? r both parties being as awful to each other? whats the context?#look away from the view the show is trying to get you to take via like. ending shots and closeups. and look at what theyre actually saying#to each other and what has actually happened#<- i feel like this sounds patronising i dont mean to be😭#if u already think sam&dean r fucked up and had just never defined it as abusive before then feel free to ignore me#there r probably posts in my dean winchester tag much better than this#<- okay apparently i had a lot to say actually. sorry for doing it in the tags
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cr0wc0rpse · 15 days ago
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I don’t know but maybe being called a sociopath and mean things by multiple different people throughout my life because I expressed that I have kind of low empathy and then seeing posts online obsessed with using the word empathy when they likely do mean Kindness or Compassion etc but really staking their point on Empathy does make me feel a little batshit insane
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anemcia · 15 minutes ago
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Silence fell between them for several reasons: From digesting the Saiyan's words cautiously to being ever mindful not to shoot a ki blast through their intruder's skull... At least not before he finishes this meal.
Had Mr. Satan spun a false tale about his battle with Cell? Honey could easily see that. After all, the mainstream media often distorts or omits key details to maintain a certain narrative, especially if it's meant to uphold the image of Earth's so-called greatest hero. Now that Goku mentioned it, she faintly remembered seeing someone in a familiar orange gi confront Cell—yet the raw footage was practically useless, marred by heavy grain, blurs, and distortion.
Any footage beyond what aired has vanished into the annals of time, fueling conspiracy theories. Many online skeptics argue the Cell Games were nothing but a charade—a ratings stunt filled with actors and special effects. Mr. Satan himself spouted such claims during the battle. Yet, reality is often stranger than fiction, especially with the living proof lurking on her property. If Cell was real, then Goku must have been entangled in that chaos from the beginning. His reaction adds up, and it makes her feel a lot worse than she already did. What kind of horrors did he witness? She almost doesn't want to know.
Honeydew nervously sipped her water, stealing a glance at her teacher where he had pointed. The Bio-android, wearing an unsettling expression, remained motionless, his silent eating adding to the tension. She couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind. Was he holding himself back to prevent a deadly confrontation, merely tuning out of the conversation to focus on his meal, or a mix of both? For what it was worth, she had to count her blessings, meager as they were.
Upon hearing his last question, she suddenly choked on her drink, descending into a brief coughing fit as she struggled to regain composure. The question felt incredibly sudden, causing her features to redden with embarrassment as she was thrust into the limelight. This caught Cell's attention, piquing his curiosity about the nickname as well. It had been given to him within the last two months, and he hadn't bothered to ask why or correct her. He had simply adjusted to it, assuming it was just a folksy way of referring to things. Her reaction suggested there was more to it, furrowing his brow.
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"...Err... Well, yes, it's a nickname," she hesitates, unsure of where to look with both of them burning their gaze right through her. "I-I mean, when you spend time with someone, these things happen eventually, right? 'Slick' is used to describe someone cunning, silver-tongued—It's just what fits that line of thought. I didn't plan it out or anything, it came to me."
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A half-truth, he thought. Cell couldn't explain it, but there was an underlying glint in her eye. She was omitting information from him specifically, not just because the monkey-man was seated across the table. She was a terrible liar, but in this instance, that could be easily taken as gospel to the untrained observer. He wrestled with understanding what went on in that country-bumpkin brain, becoming more openly fixated on his student. Notably, he's stopped eating.
The air just became all the more dense, and this motivates Honeydew to switch gears and get off the subject immediately.
"G-Goku, listen, I can't even begin to fathom how deep the rabbit hole goes. Facts from fiction, truths and lies. I understand you have yer discrepancies with him, I can't blame you. I very much relate with the sentiment."
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"However... I strongly oppose your intentions. There is also much you don’t know about me, about him, and what we’ve done here. I won’t give that up, even if you told me everything. It’s a complicated situation, most of which isn’t your business to know. I can only answer what I can, and surely you understand. But you have my word that nothing will happen to Earth."
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He's taken a seat, tail wrapped firmly around his own waist as memories play in his mind, he's seated only a few feet away from the same enemy that not only cost him his life, caused his boy to have to fight a battle that he never wanted him to, that persisted even after he sacrificed himself in an attempt to save not just his friends and family but the earth itself. Then it was all wrapped up into a story for the public by Mr.Satan. So many left in the dark, to true horrors that had happened, nearly happened and so much more. He supposes he should have seen something like this happening, if Frieza had the capacity to be brought back why not Cell? How many of his past enemies would come crawling out of hell just because it could happen?
His gaze is cold, lacking it's usual warmth. Many times people have commented on his naivety, his good nature, his willingness for mercy and yet almost every time he's ever shown it, somehow, someway, it gets stepped on and dragged into the dirt. So many times his family, his friends, earth and her people have suffered because of it. It was easy to be evil, harder to be good. The memories burn in the edges of his mind. Helpless, trapped beneath the bio android's foot and stuck watching his son being crushed within arms that only seek to maim. A father forced to watch as his son had to pick up where he left off, had to take on a burden he never wanted him to carry.
The food smells amazing, but he doesn't have the stomach for it. Not in this moment. The dark thoughts keep persisting and he's ready to simply let rage guide him. But for now the only thing holding him back is that the other is currently behaving, how long until that stops? He's not sure. He doesn't want to find out, he's not tempted to incite karma especially with someone like cell. Even still...amnesia huh?
"Unless you were there that day, you don't know the full story besides what Mr.Satan told the world." It's quiet, bitterness in it which speaks volumes on his statement of it.
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"You say you've got your own agenda to settle, that I can understand but you don't know my story either. And you can't guarantee me it'll stay that way." Finger tapping on the table before he gestures to the Bio-Android, tilting his head slightly, there's still the low growl in the depths of his voice, unintentional but simply showing how much rage was being repressed. "Why do you call him Slick? A nickname?" The edges of his nails digging into wood, it takes much more restraint that he is currently straining for to keep even remotely calm.
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