#i don’t even hate it bc i researched it
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polysucks · 3 days ago
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I've seen a bunch of your indigenous headcanons for Starks and I love them so. Do you think of all First Men that way or particularly northern First Men/Starks? Also I'm going feral over your idea for a wild west AU!
HI I LOVE YOU.
I will talk forever about indigenous Starks and Northmen.
yeah. I’m that bitch. I am the #1 Indigenous Stark Truther* (unproven claim) and I will happily die on this hill.
I’m answering all of this on mobile like 15 mins before I have to be in class so I have none of my research in front of me and no sources, so yall feel free to jump in the comments and the reblogs to compound or (CONSTRUCTIVELY) Correct me :)
As we know, the First Men are all over the place. I mean it’s been, what, twelve thousand years since they came over from Essos on the Dornish Landbridge? (Sound familiar, fellow US Public Education System Victims?) and maybe six thousand years since the Andals migrated, with all the interbreeding and the thousands of years of generational melding, there’s bound to be traces First Men blood all over the planet by now. Just like all indigenous peoples irl! Imma have to write a whole thing about the Westerosi equivalent to the Columbian Exchange now is not the time—
So like personally, I see Native American coding in the Northmen. And all I know is of the American Indigenous perspective (and not even a whole lot bc I wasn’t raised in the tribe. I was removed from the tribe via my grandparents who are both Blackfoot-Salish out of the PNW and victims of modern colonization but that’s another story for another time. It’s just to preface that I am no expert in Native American culture, and only know what I personally know. I got some baller resources if you’re super interested tho)
In my personal humble onion. There would be a high concentration of First Men blood (god I really hate using the term ‘blood’ bc of blood quantum and lineage politics but for the sake of brevity imma just use it) in the Northmen. To me it’s giving PNW and Inuit who pressed north after the Columbian invasion because they had the means to survive in the harsh lands, where the whites. Simply didn’t. And knowing Peepaw is American, like, I see the parallels.
The First Men lived in close harmony with the land, practicing a nature-based religion—the worship of the Old Gods—centered around weirwood trees, sacred groves, and the guidance of “greenseers” and “skinchangers.” (We don’t use the W word around here but do you smell what I’m stepping in?) Their way of life was deeply tied to the land and vaguely resembles that of indigenous spiritual beliefs about animism and ancestral wisdom.
After however long years of battling with the Children of the Forest, the First Men reached the pact, agreeing to honor the children’s sacred forests and worship their gods. This mirrors real-world treaties between indigenous peoples and settlers, which were often later broken or disregarded (to put it nicely). the pact was chill for thousands of years (I think like I say I got no refs in front of me we die like Icarus), leading to the Age of Heroes, in which the First Men formed their own kingdoms, including the foundation of House Stark.
Bro that. Is so ancient American history coded. Same shit different font.
There’s a large population of indigenous peoples in reservation-adjacent areas cherry picked all over the US. I mean, we’re everywhere. Don’t ever let terminal narratives win. We out here babyyyyyy but to me it makes sense that the highest population of indigenous peoples of Westeros would be on the lands that are least likely to be gentrified (wrong word but imma stick w it) as in. The North. I can’t source any quotes rn specifically but how often is it mentioned that the north is the biggest and the “emptiest” in all their seven kingdoms?
So excellent question! Yeah I think all the Northmen are indigenous coded! You can’t convince me that Lyanna Mormont isn’t some badass fuckin thicc warrior goddess coded. And the Greatjon??? My mans leanin and rockin w a bear pelt. That man kills bears with his fists (just ask him) and I could go on forever about how The Boltons in all their violence and the rumors surrounding all that they’re capable of is so so so sooooo Comanche Ute and Sioux coded. They were so shat in by westward expansionists and rumored to be barbaric and cannibalistic and fuuuuuuucked up—simply bc they fought back against the people who were raping, pillaging, and stealing from them. But that’s pure speculation and personal hot take on my part, and wildly incorrect bc the boltons really do be flaying people. While the Ute, Comanche and Sioux did not. In fact. Flay anyone. (Unless they deserved it :) )
Tl;dr
Yeah man I think all the Northmen are native coded (w some Viking and Norse imagery thrown in there bc this is fantasy. It’s not that serious.) but the Starks heavily so due to the hard focus on the animism, their honor, connection to the land, spiritual beliefs, dedication to family, and the fockin’ wolves bro. Natives do be really into wolves. (Wolves are cool as fuck dude)
Also I got three chapters of my Wild West au already written and so much art I haven’t posted. when I unlearn shame and finally post it all it’s over for you bitches
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twistedappletree · 8 months ago
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yall really got me defending hobby horse girl on tiktok bc you weird ass cringey adults think it’s normal to bully a literal child for doing something they enjoy lmao
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figofswords · 1 year ago
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anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already
#the problem is. actually there are several problems#1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic#2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought#3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing#so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing#so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better#unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting#but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week#I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March#the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself.#well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look#and also I would feel bad#I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN#and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going#but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting#I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing#just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC#I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!!#stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!!#but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread#I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh
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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 3 months ago
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what if i cancel my graduation and add a second major rn and just completely fuck up my plans and decide to suffer through more school but w a different major for like another 3 years
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hamiltonvi · 3 months ago
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this fandom is fucking me off
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celestial-toys · 11 months ago
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*closes 13 tabs on astrology and greek mythology*
ES Ch.5… is now complete.
#Everything Stays#writing stuff#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#there were 30 tabs in total by the time i was done doing all my research for this chapter but the other 17 weren’t astrology related#they’re full of name definitions and foods and children’s books and FNaF wiki pages#but yes! more time than i’d like and 13k+ words later… the chapter feels ready to go#gotta give it one final editing sweep and draft it up on Ao3 but it’ll be ready in time for the fic’s anniversary!!! which was my goal#exciting news for the few of you who out there that maybe hopefully haven’t given up on this story in spite of yet another long hiatus#(full transparency: this post and the following tags were drafted a few days ago and then i. never posted it.)#***the Preceding tags not the following tags#(so! take this as your official announcement that ES Ch.5 is now live on Ao3! i did it!! i posted it on the anniversary!!!)#(with one entire hour to spare CST! wow look at me go)#(no honestly i’m very disappointed in myself that my time management failed me once again. bc i wanted the chapter to go up at 7pm not 11pm#and i wanted to have the Edit Log and Appearance Reference Sheet posted here already so i could link them.#but it’s okay we live and we learn and one day i’ll learn to start working on things further in advance to give myself more time#and honestly extra stuff aside the chapter would’ve at least gone up at an earlier hour#had the curse of being an Ao3 author not befallen me at 5pm by thrusting a fucking family emergency into my day#like everyone’s okay it’s all fine now but jesus christ what kinda timing. the ONE DAY THAT THE FIC’S ANNIVERSARY FALLS ON#and somehow it ends up involving four police cars :)#but that was not gonna fucking stop me from posting this chapter today. nothing could! i may be unreliable and inconsistent#but i wouldn’t be able to rest knowing that i missed this fucking anniversary#anyways. tempted as i am i Will Not overshare but i’ll reiterate that everything’s fine now! and Ch.5 is up so i’m going to sleep#will re-review the chapter and make any little edits tomorrow that my tired brain didn’t catch tonight. there’s always a few that slip by#okay that’s all from Present Day Seven goodnight i am very tired pls go read Everything Stays i will love you forever and even kiss you#if you want. or we’ll actually maybe don’t read it yet maybe gimme a few days to review it and catch any more edits that need making#***well not we’ll. i hate mobile tags
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seveneyesoup · 2 years ago
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btw learning something for a silly reason still learns you the skill. in case you were wondering
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m0tel6mxzzy · 1 year ago
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really hate when technology is made the criteria needed to do any sort of work and then the ppl who make it mandatory don’t have any sort of plan for if it goes wrong
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dread-knight · 1 year ago
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Why do you have to write a story for other people to see it I feel like my brain is being stretched in twenty different directions with all the shit I want to make but low energy & not enough time & my own sense of shame makes it so that I’m not doing anything. Gahhh
#Remembered Petrichor and that little story I wanted to do with her…. Baby I have ignored you so hard I’m sorry I promise I still love you-#-ya dumb little freak#There’s also the Carsoro stuff and then the AU with that Sage I posted and I also wanna share dracula bs and like dread knight stuff and aa#Ahhh!! Do you get it!! Why do I have to work a job why can’t I draw little guys. I say knowing in my free time I just decompose watching-#Youtube videos about shit I don’t really care about and playing Isaac for the millionth time in a row#Idk if all rogue likes would be like that for me but Isaac is like. Bad. Edmund I think said he had adhd. That makes sense bc that game is-#-like. The perfect time waster for my brain with its broken ass reward system#My doctor was suprised I wasn’t being treated for my adhd maybe I should bite the bullet and try to see if being on smth for it would make-#-me feel less. Ehhhh#Or at least off antidepressants. Like Christ I feel like water with no ice a lot of the time that can’t be normal#Chatter#I’d say sorry for goign off on a rant but this is my blog I do what I want#I think a big problem is I’m lonely and want irl friends but like. How the fuck do you do that. I was not socialized enough as a puppy#Also I want to. Be open about being Toby but like Christ I’d be jumping in headfirst without even knowing where to begin#I haven’t researched like. Dick or shit about the medical side of it and even just socially transitioning like how the fuck would I explain#Idk. I don’t want to be like. Hated by my own family. I don’t think that would be the case but god. God. I have a fucking anxiety disorder
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taketheringtolohac · 2 years ago
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what if I just screamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and cried!!!!!!!!
#local girl forced to deal with everything on its own due to incompetency of parents 5 dead 24 injured.#I’m all of the ppl who were harmed. i am. i just wish I could ask someone about things and get a good answer#that didn’t make me feel like. well. you know. but yeah.#and then INVITING THEMSELVES UP FOR MY BIRTHDAY.#like. yeah I don’t have plans and I won’t have friends up there yet but also. maybe ask me first instead of just deciding 😔#but also I might not even be able to do any of that bc ! none of this might happen!#bad things just keep happening and it keeps making me just. want to quit the whole process and stay here and give up#but I already bought the car so now I have to commit and just. yeah. yeah. i wanna scream#i am trying to vent less on the internet but also there is nowhere else to put this!!!!! i don’t have ppl to vent to so now this is my diary#but yeah. I’m just. going crazy. i know I should be doing my own research but also god would it kill you to even try.#like literally no effort has ever been made to help me it’s just an afterthought of like oh have you thought about x when I thought abt x#like weeks ago. and it’s always been this way. or me going yes I’ve thought abt x and them going oh good and then not offering any more help#i would just like to be given proper guidance once in my life. just once.#that didn’t feel like ripping my heart and all my guts out of my body. like just once in my life yk is it too much to ask for#but no I’m the only one with any fucking vision around here and I hate it so much#whatever. it’s fine. I’ll suffer through another day tomorrow. its fucking fine.
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autopsytableromance · 4 months ago
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Have to put a credibility statement in my speech like girl. I don’t know what to tell you. I’m actually not an authority of this topic I just get pissed off and also love to do research
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i-luvsang · 9 months ago
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i hate being on the verge of tears in public !!! and it’s about fucking kpop i need to get a grip!!!!!!!$;73&38&2$.!’$/$3!/‘j$€{€!{£&jhhdjdhwijwgeieiehhejeiddggdneiwiwhuwjeieuebidnejskaowhhrbdieiruruidieieiehndozi&$:$£7:)3&k$$;$&jhdhiahJh
#only feeling a little bit upset tho!!!! RJUDJDK#HAHAHA I DONT EVEN CARE#I SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE RESEARCH BEFORE GETTING MY HOPES UP LIKE THIS#HONESTLY FUCK KQ SO MUCH#OBVIOUSLY THEY SUCK BC#DUH ALL KPOP COMPANIES DO#AND I HATE THE THINGS THEY DO MOST OF THE TIME#BUT GOD#IM STILK UPSET#why did i expect anything decent god#basically since last tour i’ve planned and saved up to get vip tix!#ofc to be closer to the stage since i was in nosebleeds last time#but also because vip had hi touch and maybe even meet and greet if those are different idk whatever#and i was so so set on getting hi touch next time they toured#and now their touring and there is no hi touch or meet and greet whatsoever#and the prices are like triple compared to last time#and presale is tomorrow and i don’t even know what to do for tickets anymore#obviously i’m so so excited and lucky and privileged to be able to see them at all#as long as presale doesn’t sell out before i get anything lol#but still#i’m just having trouble getting over this part of it right now :((#and every time i think about it too hard or look at them or listen to their music i get real close to crying!!#i’m just really disappointed and i’ll probably sob about it when i get home to start getting over it lmao#anyways i don’t have any feelings about it tho!!#again i recognize this is such a spoiled thing to complain about and im sorry if its annoying to read abt!!#i so get that#i used to think i’d never even get to go to concerts at all and ik some people can’t#some people can’t even buy albums and that kind of thing so i do apologize for complaining about having money basically#i just saved up for so long and got so excited :((
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starlightkun · 1 month ago
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⇢ word count: 16.3k ⇢ genre: fluff, college au, brother's best friend trope, christmas/holiday themed, baseball player!jisung, rich kids!reader and chenle, part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon ⇢ warnings: chenle and reader are annoying as hell together lol (they love each other but would die before saying ily), everyone’s parents suck!, only minor proof-reading bc i wanted to post for christmas, FAKE pro baseball players mentioned (idk anything abt baseball and was not going to research any real baseball players and be wrong abt them ok) ⇢ extra info: this is part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, three short, unrelated fics starring jisung all with cheesy hallmark christmas movie-esque premises. there’s no continuing plotline between fics in this series, they’re all standalone fics ⇢ author’s note: ok so this one isn’t exactly “short” but as always, i got carried away. im just happy i got this one out in time and it didn’t end up being 20k+ lmao. anyway, this is my last fic of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, and of 2024, and i hope you guys had as much fun reading them as i did writing them! happy holidays and i will be back with even more fics in 2025! ⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”
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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20
Clicking the ‘submit’ button for your last final paper of the semester, you let out a sigh of relief. You were done, for now. The time in the corner of your laptop read 10:58 p.m. You’d submitted with an hour to spare. Usually, you hated cutting it so close, but four of your five classes this semester had assigned fifteen-page papers, and you wanted to take your time researching, outlining, drafting, and editing all of them before the deadlines.
There were only a few other students scattered around the library so late on the last academic day of the semester. One table away from you was another student, a boy who had also been hard at work on his laptop for the greater part of the past four hours. You had seen him around campus, not in any meaningful way, but enough that his face was familiar to you. And tonight, you had been stealing glances at him—when he let out a groan or a sigh that rang a little too loud in the dead silence, pushed his hoodie off his head to reveal his dark hair and handsome features, or stood up from his chair to go to the vending machine around the corner and walk around the library to stretch his obscenely long legs. Yeah, you’d done a bit of ogling, you also needed a break every now and then.
He was still typing away at his laptop when you had packed up for the night and were heading out, your path taking you right by his table. You were never usually this bold, but maybe it was the rush from finally being done with finals week, or how late it was, but you found yourself stopping next to the end seat the cute boy was occupying.
Upon realizing that you were there, he looked at you with wide, uncertain eyes, slowly taking his headphones off. “Hm?”
“Are you going to be here till closing?” You asked him knowingly, a playful smile on your lips and bag of gummy candy in your hands. You had bought it during a vending machine break earlier in the night but never ended up opening it.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m hoping only another thirty minutes…”
“Here.” You offered the candies out to him. “I’m done for the night.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” You set them down next to his laptop. Not wanting to take up any more of his waning time left to submit his assignment, you started off towards the exit again. “Good luck. Have a good break.”
“You too…”
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SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21
“You didn’t get his number?!” Your roommate gasped in horror after you told her about the cute guy from the library. She had been asleep when you got home last night, and now the two of you were packing in preparation for your respective winter break plans. Sooyoung was heading back home while you and your brother would be driving to meet your parents at your family’s winter house in the mountains.
“Or his name,” you confirmed sadly. “I mean, the poor guy only had an hour left of the semester to submit whatever he was working on, there was no way he would’ve wanted me wasting it.”
“You have got to find him when we get back.”
“I’ll try,” you agreed.
There was a long honk from outside your dorm, and you rolled your eyes before peering out your window. Sure enough, your brother’s sleek black SUV was outside.
“Alright, I’ll see you in two weeks, Soo.” You hugged your roommate goodbye. Before you could even grab your bag, there was another obnoxiously long honk, followed by a series of shorter honks.
You immediately videocalled your brother.
Chenle picked up, already complaining. “Y/N, hurry up! You always take forever—”
“Shut the fuck up!” You retorted, flipping off the camera. “You’re so fucking annoying, I swear to—”
He laid on the horn again, and you could hear complaints start up outside from other people yelling at him to shut the fuck up. Then, you swore you heard another voice in Chenle’s car, quietly suggesting that he stop, but it was too indistinct for you to properly identify.
“Who was that?” You squinted at him suspiciously.
“I told you I was bringing a friend—”
“I know, I meant which one?”
“Get your slow ass down here and find out, or we’re leaving you!” With that, he hung up.
You pocketed your phone with a quiet scream, then turned to your roommate. “Ugh! Can you believe we’re related?”
“Yes,” she answered immediately, not even looking at you.
Hauling your stuff downstairs by yourself, you were a little out of breath by the time you shoved the front door of your dorm open. Your duffel bag started slipping down your shoulder, and as you readjusted that, you weren’t even looking out for the uneven slab of concrete that you knew stuck up in front of the entrance. Your toe caught on it, and you let out an unfortunate ‘eep!’ as you tripped forward. Your bag slid off your shoulder again, catching on your elbow and swinging around, the weight making you stumble a little more. You stayed upright, and you were thankful that only your brother and his friend saw all that. Yeah, Chenle was going to tease you for the entire three-hour car ride, and Mark or whoever was coming with would definitely get in on the ribbing, but you had plenty of dirt on them too. It was the natural order of things.
“Clumsy ass,” Chenle yelled at you from the car, the driver’s side window rolled down. You flipped him off on instinct. “Jisung, go help her before she hurts herself.”
Jisung. That was a new one. Admittedly, you didn’t know all of your brother’s friends, you two ran in different circles at school. You were usually introduced them in passing if you happened to run into each other at events, or some you knew from before college, like Jeno and Jaemin, the twins who lived next door to you guys growing up, or Mark and Donghyuck, who you all went to high school with.
A car door opened and closed before a tall figure was walking around the front of the car to meet you on the sidewalk. You blinked in surprise as you recognized Chenle’s friend that was approaching you, and not because of your brother. The cute boy from the library was standing in front of you, seemingly having a similar sense of déjà vu as he froze, hand already outstretched, reaching for your duffel bag.
“Hey again,” you chuckled, putting your bag strap in his hand. “Did you get everything turned in on time?”
“Yeah, I did.” Jisung unfroze and smiled at you, and you swore the sun seemed dim in comparison. “Thanks for the candy, by the way. Completely forgot to tell you that.”
“It’s okay, you were busy.”
“I’m Jisung, by the way.”
You nodded towards your brother’s car. “I had guessed.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Right.”
“I’m Y/N.”
“I had guessed,” he quipped back.
Chenle honked again, then yelled, “Come on!”
You rolled your eyes. “Pain in the ass.”
Chenle popped the trunk for you from his seat, and Jisung put your duffel bag in among their things that were already packed, then he took your suitcase to put away as well. As you opened the passenger door, your brother immediately shook his head.
“Nuh-uh.”
“What?” You looked at him incredulously. “I always get shotgun!”
“And Jisung gets carsick in the backseat.” He pointed at the boy standing awkwardly behind you. “I’m not having him puke all over my car. You’ll survive the backseat for once.”
Hating his condescending tone, but with no other option, you graciously stepped aside. Jisung gave you a quiet ‘sorry, thanks’ as he opened the back door for you. After buckling yourself into the middle seat and Chenle starting his music, everyone was ready to go.
“Y/N, Jisung,” Chenle made introductions over his shoulder, jabbing his thumb between you two. “Jisung’s on the baseball team and was in my bio lab last semester. Y/N is my annoying little sister.”
You kicked the back of his seat. “By ten months. As soon as you popped out, Mom and Dad were so disappointed they immediately decided to have another kid.”
“Regret saying yes yet, Jisung?” He asked his friend smugly.
Jisung, meanwhile, had been staring straight ahead at the road, clearly feeling uncomfortable as he didn’t want to get in the middle of your typical bickering.
“Ignore him, Jisung.” You leaned forward between their seats over the center console, your tone much more friendly. “So you’re on the baseball team? Do you have an athletic scholarship or something?”
“Yeah, yeah, I do,” he answered hurriedly. “Uhm, it’s the only way I could afford to go here. Full ride as long as I keep my grades up.”
You all did go to a rather expensive private university—your parents were alumni, they wouldn’t have sent you anywhere else, of course.
“Wow, so you must be really good, then.”
“I mean, I don’t know—”
“A full ride, I would think they only give those out to the best players, right?”
“Well—”
Chenle cut in, “You’re making him nervous, Y/N. Back up, for fuck’s sake.”
You didn’t back up. “Am I making you nervous, Jisung?”
“No, it’s fine,” he rushed to reassure you, finally turning around in his seat to face you. He let out a squeak as soon as he did, probably not anticipating that you’d be as close as you were. He sat back in his seat, propping himself up against his seatback on his forearm. “Uhm, it’s just that this is only gonna be my second season. Still a rookie, you know. I don’t think I’m that good.”
Jisung sort of reminded you of a little hamster when he was nervous like this, and your lips twitched with amusement. He really was cute.
“When’s baseball season?”
“Practice officially starts in January, first game’s in February.”
“Don’t you get cold out on the field?”
He shrugged self-consciously. “I mean, we’re moving around a lot. And we have hand warmers and stuff for when we’re on the bench.”
You kept eagerly asking him questions. “What position do you play?”
“Pitcher. I’m a switch pitcher—I can pitch left or right-handed—so they like that.”
“So it’s a surprise for the other team?”
“No, you have to declare which hand you’re going to pitch for each batter beforehand,” he admitted, then quickly tacked on, “But it still kinda throws them off!”
You hummed thoughtfully. “What about when you’re hitting the ball?”
“I could do either, but I prefer my right.”
“You’re never this interested in my friends,” Chenle interrupted accusatorily.
“Because I already know like, way too much about the twins, Hyuck, and Mark. Wish I could unlearn some of it, actually,” you snorted. “And you’ve been trying to get me into sports for our whole lives. What’s the problem?”
“Basketball,” your brother corrected you. “I’ve been trying to get you to watch basketball with me. Jisung plays baseball. Wrong sport.”
“Stop talking to me like I’m five,” you snapped, kicking his seat again.
“Stop kicking my seat like a five-year-old and I might,” he retorted.
You scowled at the back of his big head.
“I can see you pouting in the rearview mirror.”
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, flopping back against your seat.
“Saw that too.”
“Wasn’t trying to hide it!” You snipped back childishly. Turning your focus back to Jisung, who was looking out the passenger window, you asked, “Is he like this to you, Jisung?”
“Don’t answer that,” Chenle directed him before the other boy could open his mouth. “She’ll tire herself out.”
“Oh, you’re insufferable!” You spat. “Talking about me like I’m not even here! Or like I’m Daegal!”
“Well, Daegal is actually trained.”
“Pull the car over, I’m going to beat your ass!”
“Hey!” Surprisingly, it was the soft-spoken Jisung who raised his voice over the sounds of you two fighting, shocking both of you into silence. He continued, “Chenle, you’ve been antagonizing Y/N ever since we pulled up in front of her dorm, man. Then you act like she’s crazy for being pissed off at you. It’s honestly pissing me off.”
Chenle huffed loudly, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel, before he finally said, “Fine. Sorry, Y/N.”
“Yeah, whatever. Thanks for apologizing because Jisung told you to.” You unbuckled and scooted over to the seat behind Jisung, buckling back in and looking out the window at the scenery rushing by.
The car was silent other than Chenle’s music, which he turned up as you pulled out your phone.
[you: i found out cute library guy’s name]
[soosoo: omfg the cia has nothing on u]
[soosoo: SPILL]
[you: i didn’t stalk him, turns out he’s my brother’s friend. his name is park jisung and he’s on the baseball team]
[soosoo: your brother’s friend that you’re going to be ALL ALONE WITH in the mountains for the next TWO WEEKS???]
[you: not ALL ALONE, chenle will be there, remember?]
[soosoo: unfortunately]
[soosoo: WAIT i found him on the team’s roster online and WHEW GIRL]
[soosoo: attached image.]
It was a screenshot of Jisung’s athlete profile on the university’s sports page. The small ID photo he had on there honestly did him no justice.
[soosoo: how is ur brother always friends w the HOTTEST GUYS who ALSO PLAY SPORTS????]
[soosoo: i need him to hook me up fr]
[you: don’t tell me ur thinking abt jeno and jaemin rn]
[soosoo: always]
[you: u don’t need chenle to hook u up if u rlly want, im friends with them too??]
[soosoo: YOU WOULD????]
[you: but you’d have to pick one]
[soosoo: god i am not your strongest soldier]
[you: exactly what i thought]
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At the mountain cabin, you three were the first ones there, of course. You parents wouldn’t be arriving until Christmas Eve due to their work schedules. The house was already decorated like something straight out of a Hallmark movie—lights, red and green bows, candy canes, baubles, and other decorations all throughout.
“Wow,” Jisung breathed out, stopping in the foyer and turning around, his eyes wide as he took it all in. “Your parents are really into Christmas, huh?”
“Not really.” You had also stopped to watch his slow circle of awe. “They pay somebody to set it up.”
The wonder dropped off his face and was replaced with confusion, his brow furrowing. Chenle yelled for him from further in the house, and you jerked your head for him to follow. Your brother was at the threshold of the hallway where all your rooms were located.
“Yours is there,” Chenle pointed Jisung to one end of the hallway as you slipped by him to head to the bedroom at the other end. “Y/N’s is on the other side.”
“We share a bathroom,” you called over your shoulder as you opened the door. “Don’t use all the hot water in the morning!”
“And I’m upstairs.” Your brother indicated to a small ladder between Jisung’s room and the bathroom in the middle. “I got the loft. Won it in rock-paper-scissors almost two decades ago.”
“You cheated!” You reminded him loudly from where you had started unpacking your things in your room.
“Sore loser!”
“Sore winner!”
“Anyway, holler if you need something.”
You were still unpacking when there was a soft knock at your open door. It was Jisung leaning in your doorway.
“Hey,” he greeted you quietly.
“Hey.” You smiled at him brightly. “Bathroom’s the middle door. We both have doors that connect to it, so knock before we go in? Even if the light is off?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Jisung continued silently watching you unpack, then finally blurted out, “You egg him on.”
“Huh? Who?”
“Chenle.” He held his hands up in front of him defensively as you opened your mouth. “I know he started everything back in the car, but you didn’t help.”
You sat back on your feet in front of your open suitcase and dresser drawers. “Yeah, I know I’ve got a temper problem. I need to work on it.”
“I didn’t say anything in front of him because I kind of got the feeling that he was being extra mean because I was there.”
“When we’re hanging out with friends that we kinda share, like Jeno and Jaemin or whoever, it’s fine. You know, they met both of us at the same time. But I think when we’re with people that are his friends, it’s different,” you explained, gesturing to an armchair in the corner for Jisung to sit in while you talked. “We were always in the same grade and stuff, so obviously people assumed we were twins. That’s also why he really gets on the ‘little sister’ thing. When we got to college, we were both relieved to finally be different people, you know? Have different friends, different things that were ours.”
“You seem to understand him really well.”
“Known him my whole life,” you pointed out. “And just because I understand why he acts like this doesn’t mean it still doesn’t piss me the fuck off.”
“To answer your question from the car, no, he doesn’t treat me like that. He’s sarcastic, sure, but not like that.”
Zipping up your empty suitcase, you started on your duffel bag that was on your bed. “Sorry you had to deal with us like that, even more so that you had break us up. I’m sure the next two weeks were flashing before your eyes, huh?”
“Honestly, I’m just glad you didn’t actually start beating him up,” he chuckled.
“Me too, that would’ve been embarrassing.” You added, “For him. To get his ass beat in front of one of his buddies.”
He looked out the room down the hallway, checking to see if Chenle was coming, then admitted, “Don’t tell him, but I was sort of calculating how many swings to let you get in before it would look unreasonable for me to not intervene.”
“Oh really? And how many would you have ‘let me’ have?” You grinned, using finger quotes over ‘let me.’
“One good punch and a hair pull, I think.” He looked to be sizing you up, a teasing glint in his eye. “You seem like you fight dirty like that.”
“Could claim you didn’t want to hurt your friend’s little sister, let me get a few more in.” You mimicked punching and kneeing the air. “At least let me knee him in the balls.”
“I’ll consider it in the event you two do actually brawl while we’re here.”
You looked up at the ceiling, thinking about your brother up there somewhere. “Eh, we’ll make up properly soon. One thing about us, we fight a lot, but it’s never for that long.”
“Okay, now I’m worried about the next two weeks.”
You laughed, maybe a little harder than his joke warranted, but you couldn’t help it—he was cute, he was funny, and he was making your chest feel tighter and your head spin faster the longer you were around him.
“Why are you in here?” Chenle had appeared in your doorway, looking genuinely perturbed at the visage of Jisung sitting in your chair.
“Because we’re talking?” You answered for him. “Or is he only allowed to talk to you while he’s here and I have to take a vow of silence?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” he snickered, walking in and flopping on your bed.
“You first.”
“You want to do lunch in town then get the tree?” He checked the time on his phone. “Mom and Dad know how much you like Christmas tree shopping so that’s the only thing not done.”
“Or is it just another responsibility to pawn off on someone?” You snorted, opening the door into the adjoining bathroom to put your toiletry bag away.
Your brother’s distant voice called after you, “Even if it is, we can still have fun!”
You took a deep breath, and came out of the bathroom with a smile on your face. “You’re right. Let’s do it.”
“Ew, stop that, it’s creepy.” Chenle threw a pillow at you.
You caught it and chucked it right back at him. “What? Smiling?”
It hit him in the face before falling to the floor. “Yeah, exactly. I’m done trying to cheer you up, keep being a little Grinch, it suits your face better.”
You climbed on the bed and grabbed a pillow to smack him with it. “Quit being fucking rude!”
He laughed and cackled, rolling away from your pillow attack until his eyes went wide with panic as he went right over the edge of the mattress and landed on the floor. It was your turn to burst into laughter at the sound he made, and when he started groaning and complaining, you knew he was fine. Jisung was also laughing from his seat.
You finally gathered yourself enough to peer over the edge of the bed, looking down at where Chenle was sprawled out dramatically like a cartoon character that had been crushed by an anvil. As soon as he looked at you, he started giggling too.
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“What about this one?” Mr. Song, the elderly man who had run the Christmas tree farm in town for as long as your family had been coming for the holidays, was showing you around to the various trees they had for sale.
“Ah, too skinny.” You shook your head. “We have a lot of ornaments. And a vaulted ceiling too, so we can get a taller one.”
“Right, of course. How could I forget?” His eyes crinkled fondly as he walked you around by the elbow. “You and your brother have gotten so big, Y/N. I remember when you two were up to my knee. Always playing hide and seek in the trees.”
“We used to think you were Santa Claus,” you giggled, gesturing to his big, bushy beard. “We told everyone we knew that we got our Christmas tree from Santa every year.”
“Good to see that Chenle and your boyfriend get along so well.” He nodded to where Chenle and Jisung were throwing snowballs at each other. More accurately, Jisung was pelting them at Chenle with scary precision, and Chenle was doing his best to throw some back in between peals of laughter.
“Oh, Jisung is Chenle’s friend from school, he’s not my boyfriend,” you clarified quickly.
“My mistake.” Mr. Song patted your arm.
After circling the next one Mr. Song showed you, you were content, inspecting how dense the branches were, the height, and general shape.
“Guys!” You yelled out to get Chenle and Jisung’s attention. They ceased their (unfair) battle, meandering over to you. “What do you think?”
Chenle gave it a once-over before nodding. “Great pick as always, Y/N.”
“Is that going to fit through the front door?” Jisung asked skeptically, trying to fit his arms around it to gauge the size.
“It will,” you promised as Chenle pulled out his checkbook.
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Two of Mr. Song’s grandsons brought the tree up to the cabin in their truck, and you had to open both front doors all the way for them to carry it in. They got it set up in the corner for you, and you sent them on their way with an extra cash tip.
“We’ve got to let the branches settle before we can decorate it,” you advised Jisung. “So we’ll do that tomorrow.”
“Y/N’s got a whole thing about the tree,” Chenle added from one of the couches, turning the TV on.
“Smells nice,” Jisung piped up.
“Did your family have real trees or artificial ones?” You asked, taking up the other couch.
Jisung seemed to momentarily panic about where to sit, before taking the empty space at the end of Chenle’s couch, facing you. “A fake one. It came with the lights already on. Easier for my mom to set up.”
“One or two?” Chenle asked abruptly.
“What?”
“Two!” You answered, and Chenle immediately played a movie from whatever streaming service he was scrolling through. You went to fill Jisung in, “It’s a game we like to play. One of us will assign numbers to things in our head without telling the other, and you have to reply with a number without really knowing what you’re picking.”
“I couldn’t decide which movie to watch,” Chenle added.
“So, instead of a coin flip, you used Y/N?” Jisung clarified.
“Sort of. You can do it for more than two options. Like…” You tilted your head back and forth as you tried to think of one on the spot. As soon as you had, you perked up. “One, two or three?”
“Three?”
“Hot chocolate it is.” You stood up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen.
Jisung turned in his seat to keep you in his eyesight. “Wait, what were the options?”
“That’s part of the fun.” You smiled. “Sometimes you never know.”
A few minutes later, you came back into the room with three mugs of hot chocolate, and handed one each to Chenle and Jisung before sitting back on your couch.
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Several movies, rounds of various video games, and large pizzas later, you were beat. Standing up from your couch, you stretched and started grabbing everyone’s plates.
“I’ll get these if you guys put the food away?”
Chenle gave you a thumbs-up, his eyes locked on his phone screen.
“Night!” You tossed back over your shoulder as you traipsed out of the room.
“Night!” Your brother echoed.
“Goodnight!” Jisung replied.
As soon as you were bundled up in your blankets in your room, you videocalled Sooyoung. She picked up, the familiar scenery of her childhood bedroom in the background.
“Hey!” She beamed. “How was day one? Kill Chenle? Make any moves on cute library guy?”
“We know his name now, Soo!” You laughed.
“But a nickname is so fun and mysterious!”
“I did almost kill Chenle in the first ten minutes of the car ride,” you groaned. “Jisung surprisingly came to my defense.”
“Your brother’s friend took your side against him? Wow…”
“He’s really sweet, he’s making an effort to be my friend too.”
“Friend? Or something else?” She waggled her eyebrows.
“I don’t know, it’s been one day,” you giggled, rolling over onto your back. “Anyway, how’s your family?”
You stayed up chatting for another hour before finally going to sleep, giddy with thoughts of what could happen tomorrow.
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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22
In the morning, with no alarm for class to get you up, you woke up, rolled over, and went back to sleep several times. Eventually, you decided that it was time to get up, and slowly shuffled out of your room. Chenle was already up, by the stove cooking something. Jisung was nowhere in sight, probably still sleeping.
Upon hearing your footsteps, he looked over his shoulder. “Morning.”
You grunted back.
“Mom called.”
You made another noise of acknowledgment, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes as you lumbered over to your seat at the table. Your brother set a plate of pancakes down in front of you, and you squinted up at him suspiciously. Typically he would’ve made you get your own plate, or more likely, make your own food. Actually, it was kind of weird that he was up before you. He must not have gone back to sleep after talking to your mom. It wasn’t unusual for her to have called early in the morning—your parents’ work took them all around the world, and often the only free time they could find had them calling at odd hours.
“They’re not going to make it for Christmas, Y/N,” he told you softly, still standing next to your chair.
“Of course,” you scoffed, lip curling with distaste as you picked up your fork.
“They’ll be here on the 26th, and we can do everything with them then.”
“Are they staying for New Year’s?”
His silence was all the answer you needed.
“Of course,” you repeated with more venom in your tone than before, dropping your utensil back down onto the table. “What the fuck else should we have expected? Honestly, why do they even fucking bother?”
He put a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Chenle, don’t apologize for them.” You patted his hand. “It’s not your fault.” Pushing your chair back, you stood up. “I’m not hungry right now. I’m going out back.”
“I’ll save your plate.”
Shoving boots on your feet and pulling a heavier coat on, you opened the door in your bedroom that led directly out onto the back patio. It had snowed last night, so you had to shuffle through the fresh layer to get to the swing seat back here. The cold morning air bit at your nose and cheeks, and you tucked your hands into your pockets to keep them warm—you’d forgotten gloves. Sighing, you watched your breath fog up in front of your face, until your tears overtook your vision and you couldn’t see anything past them.
You pulled your knees to your chest on the porch swing, pushing your face into the thick material of your pajama pants. Why did it still hurt so bad? They did this all the fucking time.
The sound of feet crunching snow came to your ears, and you wiped at your face as you looked up at who was approaching you. It was Jisung, two steaming mugs in his gloved hands.
“Uhm, Chenle said you weren’t hungry. Does cider count?” He offered one out to you.
You chuckled, accepting it, grateful to have something warm to wrap your chilly fingers around. “No, it doesn’t. Thanks, Jisung.”
“It’s pretty out here,” he commented, looking around at the scenery. “Or not, if you want me to go back inside.”
You laughed again, gesturing to the empty half of the porch swing next to you. “You can stay.”
Jisung brushed off the snow from the rest of the porch swing before sitting down. He wedged his mug of cider between his legs and you watched him curiously as he started taking his gloves off. He offered them out to you, making you shake your head.
“I’m fine, I’ve got the cider—”
“So do I.”
“Then how about this.” You plucked one glove from him and put it on your right hand, which was holding the handle of the mug. Your left cradled the body of the mug, where all the warmth was. “Glove goes on the colder hand.”
He chuckled, slipping his remaining glove on his left, and wrapping his right hand around the mug. “Innovative.”
“Thank you.”
The smile faded as he turned more somber. “I’m sorry to hear that your parents’ plans changed.”
You took a sip of the cider, staring out at the still landscape of snow-covered trees and mountains. “Me too. You think I would be used to it by now.”
“Chenle was talking about maybe going to this ice-skating place later. If you’re feeling up to it.”
“That’s what’s nice about having him. No matter how much stupid shit we fight about, we’ve at least got each other when they do stuff like this.” You half-smiled to yourself. “You know, sometimes I think they did that on purpose. Had two kids instead of one so they wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving us alone all the time.”
The tears had come back, and you wiped at them with your bare hand, not wanting to soil Jisung’s glove that he had given you. Shaking your head at yourself, you said derisively, “I’m sure I seem pathetic to you. Rich girl crying in her family’s winter vacation home because mommy and daddy won’t make it for Christmas.”
“I don’t think you’re pathetic.”
You turned your gaze to Jisung to find him already looking at you, so sincerely, too. Swallowing down more tears, you asked, “Why aren’t you home with your family? I’m sure you’d much rather be with them than stuck here with us.”
“My parents are divorced. Every year, my dad and his wife go on some cruise for Christmas, and my mom spends it with my stepdad’s family. They say I’m welcome there, but they’re all strangers, except my mom.” He shrugged half-heartedly, blowing across the surface of his cider. “I know it’s kinda my fault too, I’m not making an effort to get to know them or whatever. But I just… don’t want to.”
“How’d you end up coming along with Chenle then?”
“Last year I stayed at school for Winter Break. Met Chenle in the spring, and when Winter Break plans came up this year, he was appalled at the idea of me eating at the dining hall for Christmas dinner.” Jisung chuckled, and you smiled fondly, able to imagine your brother’s horrified face. “It wasn’t even an offer, he decided for me.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here instead of eating dining hall food by yourself.”
“Me too.”
“And I’m sorry your parents suck too.”
“Shitty parents club.” He held his mug out to you.
You clinked your against it in a commiserative toast. “We need Chenle out here for our full membership.”
“Yeah, but this swing only fits two people…”
You smiled a little as you sipped your cider. “Then I guess it’s just us for right now.”
Jisung smiled back. “Guess so.”
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That afternoon, as promised, you three went ice skating. The local nature reserve had a lake that always froze solid, and would rent out ice skates and sell hot chocolate and other treats to earn a little extra income—free admission if you brought your own skates. You were the first one to get your skates on, and shuffled onto the frozen lake excitedly. There were a few other people out here—couples, families, groups of friends—but the area cordoned off for ice skating was big enough that everyone had plenty of room to spread out. A wide smile immediately spread across your face. Chenle knew you well, which was a blessing and a curse. He knew exactly how to push your buttons and cheer you up.
Speaking of, your brother smoothly skated up next to you, smug look on his face. “Better?”
“With a head that big, I’d hope you’d have a good idea every so often,” you teased, lightly bopping him through his beanie.
“Ungrateful.” He snapped one of your earmuffs against your head, not hard enough to hurt.
You two had been milling back and forth waiting for Jisung, and you looked back over at the bench where you’d all been tying up your skates to find him still sitting there, fiddling with the laces.
Chenle followed your gaze. “What is he doing? He had them tied when I got up, I thought he was right behind me.”
You shrugged, exiting the ice to stop in front of Jisung on the bench. “You alright?”
“Yeah, I just—” Jisung swallowed, squinting and scrunching up his nose nervously. “I’ve only been ice skating once, and I was a kid, so…”
“You don’t know how,” you finished.
“I mean—Yes.”
“Come on.” You offered out your arm out to him.
He waved his hands as he refused. “I’m going to do something stupid like fall and end up breaking your arm or—”
“No, it’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Seriously, I did ice skating lessons as a kid.”
“You did?”
“You’re in good hands, I promise.”
Jisung grabbed your arm, and using both you and the bench as leverage, stood up. He looked around warily as you patted his back.
“There you go, you got it. Now, you get to walk until you get to the ice.” As you coached him through the basics of operating his skates, you slowly guided him closer to the edge of the ice. You stepped onto the ice first, keeping a hold on both of his gloved hands for him to cautiously join you, one foot at a time.
“You didn’t think to tell us you’ve never skated?” Chenle questioned dryly as he joined you two.
“I have!” Jisung defended himself. “Once…”
“Well Y/N can teach you,” he offered you up. “She used to do lessons, till she got kicked out.”
“Wait, for what?”
You rolled your eyes at your brother just having to bring that up. Nudging Jisung forward to start moving his legs, you began relaying the story, “I called my coach a bitch to her face and refused to apologize.”
“Just because or…?”
“First of all, I was seven, so impulse control wasn’t even in my vocabulary. Second of all, she called another little girl in the class fat to her face! She had just gotten a new competition dress, it was this really pretty purple one with sparkles and stuff all over it, and the teacher told her she shouldn’t wear it because something about the pattern made her look bigger or something ridiculous. A seven-year-old! She’s just lucky she didn’t get an ice skate to the face!” Your rant picked up steam and volume as you continued, feeling freshly pissed off as you recalled the incident.
Jisung frowned, looking troubled as well. “That’s awful.”
“I know! Honestly, I’m glad I got kicked out. I hated that woman.” You pulled him away from a divot in the ice. “Watch out. Don’t want your blade getting caught in that.”
“Thanks. You seem to have retained a lot.”
“I didn’t get very far before I was booted,” you scoffed. “But I guess we still went to rinks and out here pretty frequently, so I haven’t lost the basics, at least.”
“So are we decorating the tree later?”
“Yep, should take the rest of the day.”
“Seriously?”
“We’ve got a lot of ornaments.” You snickered at his wide eyes, looking to your other side where Chenle had been skating for confirmation. Instead, your brother had disappeared. Confused, you scanned the figures on the ice, finally spotting him far ahead of you, skating backwards at an impressive speed. “He left us.”
Jisung finally detached his eyes from where they’d been glued on his feet, chuckling when he saw Chenle as well. “He’s not very patient, is he?”
“Not a virtue he was born with, no.” You turned your attention back to Jisung. “Think you’re getting the hang of it?”
His grip tightened on your arm. “If I say yes, are you going to let go of me?”
“No,” you laughed. “Not until you’re ready.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“But let’s try this.” You moved to hold both his hands, skating backwards in front of him. “Okay?”
“You can’t see behind you,” he said, nervously glancing between your face and over your shoulder.
You checked over your shoulder. It was clear, and you redirected your path to make sure you weren’t heading directly at the next closest people. “I’ve got it.”
“I feel like I’m leaning forward too much, how do I—Wah!” The distinct clank of Jisung’s skates hitting each other rang out, and he fell forward.
Not wanting him to faceplant into your skates or the ice, you braked and tensed your arms to try to keep him up. However, since you had braked and he obviously did not, his forward momentum sent him catapulting directly into you. His arms wrapped around your waist as his legs scrambled against the ice trying to find his footing again. You readjusted your hold on him to clutch him under the arms in an attempt to keep him up, but with all the layers that you were bundled up in and the slippery ice, it was a losing battle. You were a good skater, but you couldn’t haul him back to his feet like this. So you decided to just let the two of you slowly descend, squatting down until you could plant your butt on the ice and kick your feet out on either side of Jisung, careful not to hit him with your blades.
“You alright?” You asked him, pulling his beanie back from where it was entirely obscuring his eyes.
“Please tell me I’m dead,” he groaned, the half of his face that you could see was completely pink and his eyes were squeezed shut. His head was pressed against your middle as he was still clinging onto you.
“No, you survived that,” you laughed. “And so did I. No broken arms or other bones.”
“Will you kill me anyway?”
A spray of ice showered both of you as Chenle stopped next to you guys, proceeding to double over with laughter. “Clumsy ass.”
“Nice, thank you,” you scoffed, wiping off the cold ice from your face, then a couple drops that had gotten on Jisung’s cheek. “Anytime you’d like to quit being an asshole and help us up.”
“I don’t know, you two look pretty cozy to me.”
Jisung somehow turned even redder, squirming in your grasp. “Y/N, I’m sorry!”
“Chenle, shut up!” You scolded your brother. “You’re making Jisung freak out and he’s going to hurt himself!”
“You make him sound like a scared prey animal,” he snickered. Letting out a sigh, he patted his friend’s back. “Alright, Jisung, come on.”
With Chenle’s assistance, Jisung got to his feet, and you were then able to stand back up on your own. Brushing snow off your legs, you shivered, and saw that the entire front of Jisung’s pants were soaked through thanks to the ice, and you could feel that the back of your own had suffered a similar fate.
“I think that’s enough ice skating for today,” you declared. “My ass is quite literally going to freeze off if we stay out here any longer.”
Jisung nodded quickly from where he was clinging onto Chenle to stay upright now. “I’m skated out.”
“Good thing my car has heated seats then,” Chenle said, beginning to drag his friend back towards the exit.
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After a hot shower and in a fresh change of warm pajamas, you were in front of the Christmas tree with all of the boxes of decorations for it. You had already wound the lights around it when Jisung joined you in the living room, hair still damp from his shower—he’d given you first shower out of guilt.
“Hey, you know where Chenle is?” You asked, flipping open boxes of ornaments. Chenle’s loft bedroom had a private bathroom, so you figured he’d be out by now.
“He got a call—Mark, I think,” Jisung informed you.
“Oh, that’ll take an hour,” you snorted. “You can help me. Put any ornaments that have Chenle’s name on them aside, he gets to put those up whenever he’s done.”
“Any ornaments with your name are yours to put up?” He guessed, reaching into a box and pulling out an ornament in the shape of a bear with a Santa hat on. The white band of the hat had ‘Chenle’ written in cursive.
“Yep. Everything else is fair game for you. Quick tip, any bear ornaments will be Chenle’s. That’s his parent-assigned motif.”
“Got it. And what’s yours?”
You held up the honeybee ornament that you’d just fished out, letting it dangle and twist in the air, the yellow gems catching the light. “Bees. They had a theme, kind of.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.” He reached up to hang a blue and gold ornament on a higher branch, though you could feel his eyes on you as you put your own up on a middle branch. Finally, he blurted out, “Are you sure you didn’t get hurt earlier?”
“Yeah, Jisung, I’m okay,” you chuckled. “Really, we were both wearing so many layers we were practically bubblewrapped.”
He visibly relaxed. “Okay, good.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. But I crashed into you, not the other way around.”
“True, but you had a much less graceful descent.”
He visibly grimaced, a bashful smile on his face. “Mm-hm. Thank you for bringing that up again.”
“Pretty sure you brought it up again,” you teased, nudging his arm with yours as you reached in front of him to hang an ornament.
“And I would love to change the topic now.” He grabbed an ornament in the shape of a snowman.
“What’s your major?” You decided to save him this time. “You and Chenle had bio lab together, but I know he took bio for non-majors, so you’re not a STEM major either…”
Jisung made a buzzer noise, and you blinked at him in surprise. He cracked a grin as he said, “Cybersecurity.”
“Ah, so you’re a baseball jock and a little computer geek…” You nodded slowly, grabbing another ornament. “The duality of man, truly.”
“Geek?” He repeated incredulously.
“What? I think it’s cute.” You giggled and put up the glass snowflake in your hand. Then, you turned back to him hopefully. “Ooh, actually, my laptop gets possessed sometimes ever since Chenle clicked on one of those sketchy porn pop-up ads when we were fourteen. You don’t think you would be able to take a look at it sometime, would you?”
Jisung visibly sustained whiplash at your words, his head jerking back and eyes going wide before he furrowed his brows. “Wait, what? How old is your laptop? He did what to it? What do you mean it gets possessed? What exactly does it do?”
“Uhm… it’d probably be easier to show you.”
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“Y/N, this thing is old enough to drive.”
You put your hands on either side of your laptop’s screen as if you were covering its ears, giving Jisung a stern look. “Sh! You’re going to hurt her feelings!”
He continued to look at you over his glasses, entirely unamused. This was the first time you’d seen him wear them—even in the library, he’d had contacts in. Now, with him wearing his casual clothes, glasses, sitting on your bed and attempting to fix your laptop, you felt like you were going to lose it, truly. Especially when you’d catch a whiff of his shampoo, and you’d have to stop yourself from leaning in to follow the smell of cinnamon.
“Seriously, why do you still have it? Chenle has the newest Macbook,” he asked, fingers flitting across the keyboard.
“Because it works fine!” You insisted, removing your hands. “I get the internal stuff cleaned out regularly, and make sure all the software is updated and everything.”
“It still gets software updates?”
“It just… gets possessed every so often.”
“I wouldn’t call the occasional possession ‘working fine.’”
“When it’s not possessed, it works great! And it doesn’t even happen that much, only like, once a month.”
“Once a month since you were fourteen?” He squinted at you in disbelief where you were sitting on the opposite side of the laptop screen. “And you kept the damn thing?”
“No, once a month now,” you clarified. “It happened the first time when Chenle clicked on that porn ad, then maybe once a year for a few years after, and slowly started happening more and more often.”
“And he was watching porn on your computer because…?”
“So it wouldn’t be on his internet history.”
He snorted. “Of course. I should’ve realized.”
“Can I watch?”
“Oh, uhm, sure?” He readjusted to make room to his left side on the mattress, angling the laptop that way as well.
You shuffled around to the other side of the computer, dropping to lay down on your front, propping your chin up with your elbows to observe. Tilting your head, you rested it against Jisung’s knee that was next to you. His hands froze over the keys, and you lifted your head back up, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
“Sorry—Is this okay?”
“Y-Yeah, you’re fine.” He nodded quickly and pushed his glasses up as he returned his attention to the screen.
Leaning your head back against his knee, you settled in to watch him work on your laptop. You couldn’t follow what exactly he was doing to the computer, opening and closing different windows, folders, and applications. You zoned out, watching his hands and fingers deftly move over the keys instead. He was muttering to himself under his breath, his low voice pleasant to listen to even if you couldn’t make out the words he was saying. This close to him, you could smell the cinnamon better, and were starting to think that maybe it was actually a body wash or cologne.
“Y/N?” He said your name, making you snap out of a daze as you realized he was calling for you. “Hello?”
“Hm?” You perked up a little.
“We need to do an exorcism.”
That woke you all the way back up. “Wait, what?”
“Complete reset. Wipe everything and redownload the OS.”
“But I have everything on there!” You pleaded, stretching your hands over the keyboard to prevent him from doing anything else. “We’ve been through so much together! You can’t kill her!”
He sighed regretfully. “Is there an electronics store or something around here? We can get an external hard drive to back up all your personal stuff.”
“There’s a mall like an hour away. Chenle and I need to go gift shopping anyway so we can go tomorrow!”
“Why did I hear my name?” Chenle’s voice came from further down the hallway. He must have finished his call with Mark. Your brother poked his head into your room, briefly pausing when he saw you and Jisung. “I thought you guys were decorating the tree…?”
“Remember how you downloaded a virus trying to watch porn on my computer in high school? Jisung is fixing it for me,” you said pointedly, never missing an opportunity to bring that moment up. “But we need to buy something. I was telling him you and I need to go gift shopping anyway, so we can all go to that mall tomorrow.”
“Please tell me the thing you’re buying is a new laptop.”
“Never! She’s going to outlive you if I have anything to do with it!”
“Based off the fact that it sounds like a jet engine taking off right now, I’m pretty sure that was a threat on my life.”
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MONDAY, DECEMBER 23
“Okay, so you’ll need at least this much storage for the files that you have right now,” Jisung explained, motioning to a few different options of hard drives that the electronics store had. He then gestured to a few more. “But if you really want to have her until Chenle’s dead, you might want to consider some more storage.”
You grinned, bumping his shoulder affectionately. “You said ‘her.’”
He covered his mouth as he let out a sputtering laugh, his cheeks turning pink. “Oh God—I didn’t even realize. That’s—Ah, you’re rubbing off on me.”
“I like that one,” you declared, pointing to one hard drive that was a similar colorway to the laptop case you had.
“Yeah, that’s more than enough storage.”
After purchasing your hard drive, you and Jisung headed out of the electronics store together. Chenle had already gone off to gift shop on his own so you and Jisung couldn’t see what he bought you.
You turned to Jisung. “Want to help me shop for Chenle?”
“Sure.”
The two of you meandered around the mall, popping into stores that seemed promising from the outside. As you passed by a jewelry display in a window, you tapped on the glass in front of a pair of earrings.
“Those are cute,” you commented, slowing down but not stopping entirely.
“You think so?” Jisung questioned, looking at them over your shoulder as you kept walking.
“Mhm.” You nodded, then clicked your tongue. “I’d get them, but I already have a pair like them.”
“You do?”
“Yep.” Keeping your gaze on the passing storefronts, you said levelly, “I don’t want to assume anything about what you think of me, Jisung, but I want you to know that I don’t expect a present from you. We only properly met two days ago.”
“Yeah, that’s… really reasonable,” he chuckled, the relief evident in his voice.
“Seriously, if you fix my computer, that’ll be the best Christmas present I get this year, hands-down. I don’t care what expensive crap my parents get me or surprisingly thoughtful, niche thing Chenle somehow manages to find.”
“I didn’t realize how much my computer exorcism skills were worth.”
“To me, they’re priceless,” you assured him. “I wish I had something to offer in return.”
“Hey, you already taught me how to skate,” he insisted, nudging your arm.
You tilted your head side-to-side contemplatively. “One could argue whether I was successful at that…”
“Completely my fault that the lesson got cut short, not yours.”
“Alright, alright. I suppose a computer exorcism can be our quid pro quo for ten minutes of ice-skating lessons.”
“I didn’t pay much attention in my high school history class when Mr. Yoo was talking about the bartering system, but I’m pretty sure those two things are equivalent, yeah.”
You burst out laughing, covering your mouth and squeezing your eyes shut as you started to go a little light-headed from how hard you were laughing. You were still walking forward alongside Jisung, and felt him grab your arm and tug you towards him at the same time he warned, “Watch out.”
You couldn’t see whatever you must’ve almost walked into as you were still trying to sober up from your chuckle fest, covering your face as more giggles bubbled up every time you tried to close your mouth. Jisung kept you right next to him, guiding you through the mall crowd with a gentle but steadfast grasp on your arm, not letting you bump into anybody or trip over anything.
“Are you really still laughing?” He asked, and though his words were exasperated, his tone was overly fond, letting out a soft laugh of his own at the end. “I don’t think it was that funny…”
You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, shook his hand off you, and suppressed your giggles to say, “Fine. I don’t think you’re funny at all and I hate you, actually.”
Jisung’s mouth parted as he stared at you in shock, and you couldn’t keep the bit going for very long when faced with his adorable look of being totally caught off-guard and floored, even if both of you knew it was all a joke. You grabbed his arm this time, your laughs getting muffled in his sweater as you buried your face in his shoulder and leaned against him for support.
“Oh my god, you looked like I ran over your dog or something!” You gasped for air between guffaws, apologetically rubbing his arm.
“You’re…” He trailed off, letting out a sigh instead, reaching for your purse that was on your arm and now awkwardly crushed between you two with you holding his arm. “Here, I’ll take that.”
He had already been carrying your shopping bags that you’d been acquiring from the various stores, and you now stopped to wordlessly shimmy off your purse for him to shoulder on his opposite side from you. You reattached yourself to his arm that you had been holding, and though his cheeks were turning pink, he had a small smile on his face as he looked down at his phone to check the time.
“Did your family assign you an animal too?” You asked him, your eyes getting caught on a kiosk of Christmas ornaments as you continued your journey through the mall.
“What?”
“Like how my parents decided when we were born that Chenle’s a bear and I’m a honeybee,” you explained, quickly looking back over to Jisung. “Did you ever have an animal or something that was like yours?”
He scrunched his nose as he thought, then shook his head. “No, not that I can remember. I always had a bunch of different stuffed animals.”
“I think you look like a hamster,” you informed him. “Especially when you do that with your nose.”
“Do what with my nose?” He questioned, his nose unintentionally twitching and scrunching up again as his eyes flitted around nervously.
You giggled, squeezing his arm tighter as you couldn’t help but coo over how cute he was. “That!”
He covered his nose with his hand, and though it obstructed half his face, you could tell he was pouting behind it.
“I didn’t mean to make you self-conscious, I’m sorry!” You apologized, grabbing his hand and trying to pull it away from his face. “I think it’s really cute!”
He stubbornly kept his nose concealed. “You still haven’t told me what it is…”
“You just scrunch up your nose sometimes, like this—” You imitated it, doing your best not to make it look like you were mocking him. “Seriously, it’s adorable! Please don’t ever stop, I might die!”
Jisung’s eyes crinkled and he dropped his hand back down as he chuckled. “Well we can’t have that.”
Your phone buzzed in your hand then, and you saw that it was your brother calling. “Mm, hold on, it’s Chenle.”
“Hey, where are you guys?” Chenle asked on the other end.
“We’re still on the first floor,” you told him. “By the pretzel stand. Where are you?”
“What have you two been doing? I’m on the third floor; I’ve been through the whole mall already. I’m done,” he scoffed. “Stay there, I’ll come to you.”
“I had to get my hard drive first, remember? You got a head start.”
“Anyway, are you done?”
“No, I have a couple more people to find gifts for.”
“Alright, hold on, I see you.”
You craned your neck looking for Chenle, still with your phone to your ear. “Damn bitch, how many old ladies did you take out on your way here?”
“Only two,” Chenle’s voice came through your phone and from directly beside you at the same time. He was loaded up with shopping bags on both arms.
You jumped out of your skin before rolling your eyes and hanging up the call. “Did you see a place that sold bath bombs and stuff?”
“Yeah, second floor, directly to the left off the escalator.”
“That’s my next stop, SooSoo loves that stuff,” you declared.
“There’s a baseball specialty shop on the third floor,” Chenle stated, eyes lingering on where you were still holding onto his friend’s arm. “If you want to go check it out, Jisung?”
You perked up, giving him an enthusiastic smile. “That sounds awesome! You totally should.”
Jisung turned to Chenle and nodded. “Yeah, sounds cool. Let’s do it.”
“I’ve still got a couple people on my list, so I’ll call you guys when I’m done so we can meet up and go,” you said, reaching for your purse that was still on Jisung’s shoulder. He handed it back to you, and you hurried off to take care of your final errands.
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Back at the house, you watched on with bated breath as Jisung performed his laptop exorcism. The screen turned on, which already was good news. After a few more progress bars, you eventually saw your homescreen and looked at him with guarded hope.
“I still need to transfer your personal files back over. And you won’t know if it worked unless it just never gets possessed again, but…” Jisung gestured to your laptop with a certain finality.
“Ahh, thank you! Thank you!” You cheered, hugging him.
“O-Oh, you’re welcome,” he mumbled, hesitantly hugging you back.
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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24
Christmas Eve was ushered in with a fresh snowfall overnight, and maybe the Christmas spirit finally possessed you, because all three of you were outside playing in it like little kids. A rather lumpy snowman had already been built and decorated with various rocks, sticks, and kitchen utensils. Snow angels were scattered around, and Chenle had just thrown the very first snowball, hitting Jisung squarely in the back of the head.
You laughed incredulously as the pitcher turned around and calmly started packing snow between his hands.
“Are you stupid?” You snickered at your brother, who was also preparing another snowball.
Before he could finish readying that one, Jisung wound up and launched his snowball, nailing Chenle in the face. You weren’t even focused on your brother as he desperately wiped the snow off his face with both hands, however, your eyes still watching Jisung, who was chuckling to himself. You’d been too preoccupied at the Christmas tree farm to really watch any of their snowfall fight that had happened there, and obviously hadn’t gone to any of Jisung’s games before, so this was the first time you’d seen him really use any of his pitcher skills. While it wasn’t a proper pitch, the practiced ease and skill that he clearly possessed even in doing something as silly as throwing a snowball was admittedly really attractive.
Chenle had taken his loss and grabbed a stick to start writing something in the snow, a good distance away from where you and Jisung were, his back to the two of you.
Stepping deliberately closer to Jisung, you said, “That was really cool, Jisung.”
He fidgeted with making sure his beanie was down over his ears. “Ah, I mean, it wasn’t a real pitch or anything—”
“Then can you teach me how to pitch for real?” You requested sweetly. “I’m very into baseball these days.”
“Uhm, y-yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat and nodding. He stooped down to pack more snow between his hands into a round sphere, then held it out for you. “Here, that should be the right size.”
You graciously accepted it, then looked at him expectantly.
“Do you prefer to throw with your left or your right?” He asked.
You held up your dominant hand holding the snowball, and he nodded.
“Okay, uhm, you should stand with your feet like this.” He demonstrated the correct positioning himself, and you copied.
Jisung went through the basic steps with you, making minor adjustments here and there, and you were actually finding it sort of interesting, outside of the cute boy teaching you something he was passionate about. Learning a new skill or something to that effect. When he was showing you how to actually move your arm when throwing, you were genuinely trying to do it per his verbal instructions, but apparently there was still something wrong with the way you were doing it. And so he walked behind you, covering your gloves hand with his. You could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck, and his other hand grabbed your opposite shoulder to correct your posture as he manually moved your arm through the correct motion. Slow at first, talking through it.
“Feel how it’s different than what you were doing?” He asked, doing it again, a little faster this time.
But you were long gone, your brain white noise and your vision blurring a little bit (but that was mostly due to the cold wind hitting your eyes). He still smelled like cinnamon, and you wanted to listen to his voice all day. Jisung could read you a car manufacturer’s manual for all you cared.
“Mm, mhm,” you agreed absentmindedly.
“Alright, I’m going to step back and let you throw your first pitch.” He patted your shoulder and did just that, leaving you feeling even colder.
You momentarily panicked as you grappled in your short-term memory for anything that he had just been saying. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, deciding that you would probably suck anyway, and to just fucking do it. Trusting your gut and muscle memory of what Jisung had just been walking you through, you did your damndest to throw that snowball in something akin to a pitch.
Amazingly, the snowball actually hit the trunk of the tree that you had been aiming for, and you stared at it in disbelief, hands hanging down by your side. Jisung clapped, the sound dampened by his gloves, but his cheers were surprisingly upbeat for how soft-spoken of a guy he was.
“Wow! That was a really good first pitch!” He congratulated you, holding up both his palms for you to high-five. “So awesome…”
You high-fived him, but stayed holding onto his hands, wide smile overtaking your features. “Thank you.”
“I—You’re welcome.” He held onto your hands too, throat bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
“Jisung!” Chenle yelled out, reminding the both of you of his presence. “Can you get my phone? I made Daegal out of snow and I want to take a picture. It should be charging on my bed.”
“Yeah!” Jisung called back. He gave you a regretful look, letting your hands go to trudge back up to the cabin.
Rounding on your brother, you stomped over to him, observing the admittedly cute snow-Daegal for a moment before addressing him.
“You can get your own phone,” you scoffed, crossing your arms.
“I thought I might hurt Jisung’s feelings if I told him to leave to his face,” Chenle replied nonchalantly. He looked at you over his large-framed sunglasses. “I feel like I have to warn you, as your big brother—”
“By ten months.”
“—about Jisung.”
You gave him a sour look, knowing that he knew that you wouldn’t be able stop yourself from asking a follow-up question to a statement like that. “What about him?”
“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”
You immediately got fired up, hands balling into fists at your sides. “Don’t you dare start pulling the ‘my friends are off-limits’ card now. You’ve never—”
“Hey, I like Jisung.” He held up his hands defensively, an amused smirk on his face. “If I had to make a tierlist of my friends for you to date, he’d be like, the only one in S-tier.”
You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Do you have a fantasy draft of boyfriends for me too?”
“I’m genuinely trying to help you here, alright?”
“So, what? Does he have a girlfriend or something?”
“Not exactly…” Chenle sighed. “Right before we left, during finals week, he met this girl in the library and just absolutely fell head-over-heels, okay? Like, he’s never even looked once at all the girls who show up to his games, but this one says three words to him and gives him some candy and he’s a goner. I don’t get it.”
It took everything in you to suppress your giddy grin and instead cock your head, playing dumb as you asked, “Wait, did he even get this girl’s name?”
“No, he never got a chance since they were both working on finals stuff,” he answered. “Anyway, I’m just trying to warn you. You’ve got to compete with the romanticized version of mystery library candy girl that he has in his head.”
“Mm. Tough competition,” you nodded with mock solemnity.
“I’m serious, Y/N. He called me at like midnight walking back from the library to tell me about it. He’s got it bad.” As if suddenly realizing everything he had just told you might dampen your spirits, Chenle’s entire demeanor shifted, and he gingerly patted the top of your head. “But uh, you’ve totally got this. I’m rooting for you, lil sis.”
“Right. Thanks… big bro,” you replied with intentional stiltedness, softballing a punch to his shoulder.
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That night after dinner, you all sat down around the Christmas tree for your family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve. You sifted through the presents under the tree, some of which were ones that had been shipped here ahead of time by your parents or other extended family, others from Chenle.
“Hmm… one or two?” You asked, your eyes on two particular gifts.
“One,” Chenle and Jisung answered unanimously.
You grabbed the one that had been under your left hand, returning to your seat next to Jisung. Chenle had already picked his box, and fished out a gift bag, plopping it in front of Jisung. He seemed surprised, blinking down at it.
“But—”
“I got you more than one gift, dummy,” Chenle cut him off, already guessing what his confusion was about. “Go ahead.”
“No!” You stopped Jisung. He looked at you with alarm as you snatched the gift bag away, putting it back under the tree and replacing it with a different, much smaller one instead. “Open mine.”
Jisung looked even more confused, and slightly betrayed. “I thought we agreed we weren’t doing gifts…?”
“Yeah, but then I saw this and…” You smiled sheepishly. “Just open it!”
Shaking his head, he pulled out the tissue paper, then removed the object at the bottom of the bag. It was wrapped in more tissue paper to protect it, which he carefully wrapped, revealing the ornament that you had bought yesterday while you were split up. It was in the shape of a hamster popping out of a present box, and as soon as you saw it at the mall kiosk, you knew you had to get it for him.
Jisung turned it over his hands, looking up at you still a little confused, but with a smile. “Wait…”
“It looks just like you!” You giggled, taking it from him to hold it up next to his face. Aiming your next question at Chenle, you asked, “Doesn’t it?”
Your brother started laughing, reaching forward to tweak one of Jisung’s cheeks. “Ha, she’s right. How adorable.”
Jisung pushed his hand away, rolling his eyes. His gaze softened when he looked back over at you. “Thank you, Y/N. It’s great.”
“Hang it up!” You urged, giving it back to him and gesturing to the tree.
He got up on his knees to reach forward and affix it to an empty branch, between a bear ornament and honeybee ornament.
“Okay, Y/N, you next,” Chenle directed.
Ripping the wrapping paper off the small box, you were met with a small jewelry box, and took that lid off. Inside was a pair of ornate, bejeweled earrings, a little flashy for your taste. You checked the card.
“Great-Aunt Ying,” you announced, and Chenle let out an ‘ahh’ sound in understanding. You put the lid back on the box and set it aside. “SooSoo will love those.”
“Who’s that?” Jisung asked curiously as your brother started unwrapping his present. “Not your great-aunt.”
“Sooyoung, my roommate since freshman year,” you explained. “She’s also like, my best friend. And those earrings aren’t really my style, but I know she would wear them like, all the time, so I’ll just give them to her when we get back.”
Chenle’s box was a bit larger than yours had been, and was similarly stylish. He turned it over to shake the lid off and make the contents fall out all in one go, catching the fabric that fell out in his hand. Holding it up, it was a tie in what looked like a nice material, a monochrome and not exceptionally busy pattern on it.
“Another tie, wonder who it’s from…” he snorted, picking up the card. “Oh, Great-Uncle Feng. Surprise.”
“Does he think you’re eating all the ties he gives you or something?” You snickered.
“I think he’s so old he forgets he’s given me a tie before and thinks I don’t own any.” Chenle then offered it out to Jisung. “You need a tie? If not, I’ll ask the other guys.”
“I would need a suit first…” Jisung admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
Chenle stared at him in disbelief, then sighed. “Okay, so we’re getting you a suit when we get back to school.”
“What do I need a suit for?”
“Don’t you have formal stuff that you have to go to for baseball? Awards or press conferences or something?”
“That’s maybe once a year. I just rent a suit!”
“Jisung, don’t say another word, you’re going to kill me.” He put a hand over his heart as if it were going to give out any second.
You chuckled at their antics, starting to clean up the trashed wrapping paper. “Christmas movies?”
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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25
You felt like a little kid, unable to sleep the night before Christmas morning. It was after midnight, so it technically was Christmas now. And even thought you knew that neither Santa nor you parents were coming, you were still oddly giddy. You had already videocalled Sooyoung to recap the developments of the day, but you were still replaying everything in your mind, kept up with thought of Jisung. How it felt being that close to him when he was teaching you to throw a snowball, the information that apparently he was just as smitten with you after the library as you were with him. Even Chenle’s unofficial blessing put your mind at ease—not because your brother determined who you dated, but he knew Jisung better than you did and was brutally honest, so if he said that he liked Jisung for you, you knew he meant it.
Pushing your covers off, goosebumps immediately popped up on your legs that were now exposed to the cool air. You treaded over to the bathroom door. The light was off, but you still knocked. When there was no response, you opened it. You didn’t stop there, however, continuing on to the opposite door, which you knew led to Jisung’s room. Taking a deep breath, you knocked softly on that one too.
You heard the rustling of sheets and quiet padding of footsteps before the door handle twisted and opened, Jisung on the other side. He looked down at you, nose scrunched up in bewilderment.
“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, rubbing one of his eyes behind his glasses.
“Yeah. Uhm, sorry, did I wake you up?”
“No, I uh, I couldn’t sleep, actually.”
“Me neither.”
“Oh.”
There was a pause, and you fidgeted with the ends of your longsleeve. “Do you want to hang out for a bit? Since we’re both up…”
“Oh! Y-Yeah, sure.” He stepped back from the door, motioning you in. “Uhm, come in.”
“Thanks.” You stepped inside, and he closed the door behind you.
The bedsheets were rumpled on one side, so you sat down on the other side, pulling the blanket over your chilly legs. Jisung watched you, frozen halfway from the bathroom to the bed for a second.
“I’m cold,” you told him, turning your phone on.
“Of course, right,” he breathed out, snapping out of his trance.
He climbed under the covers as well, putting a headphone in his ear opposite from you and pressing play on a video on his phone. Curious, you peeked over at his screen to see what he was watching. It looked like a bunch of clips of professional baseball pitchers.
“It’s my favorite pro pitcher,” Jisung blurted out, pausing the video again. He had apparently noticed you snooping at his screen. “Well, that’s currently active. He’s a lefty, and he does this thing on some of his pitches where he gets this spin and—”
You blinked as he had abruptly cut himself off in the middle of his sentence. Tilting your head, you asked, “What? Why’d you stop?”
“You’re not really interested in baseball, are you?” He questioned, turning his eyes down to his lap. “You’re just being nice.”
“Hold on—”
“It’s okay, you can go back to what you were doing, I don’t want to bore you.”
“Jisung,” you giggled, turning over on your side fully to face him. “You really haven’t figured it out?”
His brow furrowed and he pouted slightly as he seemed to genuinely be confused. “Figured what out?”
“I’m interested in baseball because I’m interested in you,” you said bluntly, watching the gears turn in his head before his eyes widened.
“Wh—Oh. Really?”
“Mhm. But Chenle did warn me that apparently you’re head over heels for some mystery girl that you met in the library during finals week who gave you candy,” you teased, letting out a wistful sigh. “So I have no chance…”
Jisung dropped his phone to cover his face with both hands, letting out a noise of embarrassment from deep in his chest, shaking his head. “Oh my God…”
“I told SooSoo about you too,” you informed him. “After the library.”
He opened his hands to peek at you meekly. “Really?”
“Really.”
Jisung glanced upwards, and you snickered.
“Chenle’s not like that. He’s not going to care unless you’re a dick to me.”
“Because only he gets to be a dick to you?” He joked, slowly removing his hands all the way from his face.
“Yep. Same for the girls he dates. Nobody gets to be a bitch to him except me.”
“So, now what?” He asked nervously, glancing around the room.
“Now, you’re going to finish telling me about your favorite pitcher,” you stated, scooting over until you were snuggled into his side, head resting on his shoulder so you could see his phone screen better.
Jisung grabbed his earbud case from the nightstand, bringing the other one out. He offered it to you, and you put it in as he turned his phone back on. He restarted the compilation, but didn’t press play yet, instead launching back into his explanation from before, excitedly talking faster now.
“So this is Hwang Myungjun. Like I said, he’s my favorite pitcher that’s in the league right now. He’s a lefty and—you’ll see it in this video, but—he does this really cool thing on some of his pitches where he can get this certain spin on the ball and…”
You listened to him go on and on with a smile on your face, breathing in the warm smell of cinnamon.
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In the morning, you stirred a little, sighing and pulling the covers up to your nose. Covers that smelled like cinnamon. Opening one of your eyes, you were greeted with Jisung already wide awake, sitting up against the headboard, staring at you from behind his glasses.
You rubbed your eye and yawned. “Christ—Did you sleep at all?”
“Yeah, we get up early for baseball conditioning, so I don’t really sleep in even on days off.” He rubbed the back of his neck, ears turning pink. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Good morning…”
“Morning,” you mumbled, yawning again. “Sorry for falling asleep here.”
“It’s okay. Sorry for talking you to sleep.”
“No, it was nice. I like your voice.” You pushed yourself into a half-sitting position. Pecking his cheek, you added, “Merry Christmas.”
His face flushed as he smiled down at his hands. “Merry Christmas…”
Climbing out of bed, you stretched your arms over your head, then wrapped them around yourself. “Anyway, I should emerge from my own room. Just because he doesn’t care if we date doesn’t mean Chenle needs to think something other than watching baseball compilations happened in here last night.”
Jisung squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head. “Good idea.”
“See you in a few.” You bid him a momentary farewell, opening the door to the adjoining bathroom.
Shuffling back into your own bedroom, you almost screamed when you saw a figure sitting on your bed in the dark. You grabbed for the closest thing in your reach, a candlestick on the dresser next to you, ready to swing. The figure turned on the lamp next to the bed, and you saw that it was Chenle, still contemplating hitting him anyway. You decided to set your weapon down, however.
“What the fuck?!” You hissed, stalking up to your bed and grabbing a stuffed animal to chuck at him instead. He caught the stuffed bee, holding it to his chest as he smirked at you.
“Something you want to tell me?” He raised an eyebrow. “About where you’ve been?”
You followed his line of sight between you and the bathroom door that you just came out of. “What are you, the piss patrol? Can’t a bitch pee in peace around here?”
“Toilet didn’t flush, sink didn’t run,” he immediately shot back. “Also, I’ve been in here for the past hour.”
“Don’t be weird about it—” You held up a finger in his face threateningly, and a victorious grin immediately spread across his features. “Jisung and I talked about how we felt, and I fell asleep in his room. Nothing else, okay?”
Chenle gave you a look that told you he didn’t entirely believe you, but he didn’t press you any further. “God, how am I going to choose between being your brother of honor and his best man?”
“We haven’t even gone on a date!” You grabbed a pillow and tried to pushed it over his face to shut him up. He narrowly saved himself from being smothered, cackling as you resorted to smacking him with it instead. “As if I’d even ask you to be my whatever you just made up! You’ll be lucky if you even get an invite, I swear to—”
The door to your room was thrown open from the bathroom, Jisung looking around the room wildly. “Y/N! Are—”
You stopped your assault on your brother to smile breathlessly at Jisung. “Oh. Hi.”
“I heard you yelling, I wanted to make sure…”
“I’m fine,” you reassured him. “Thanks, Jisung.”
“I know!” Chenle announced loudly. “I know everything, Park Jisung! Last night, you and my little sister—”
You succeeded in smothering Chenle this time, muffling whatever obnoxious things he was about to spew.
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After breakfast and opening presents in the morning, Jisung excused himself to go call his parents. Chenle tsked, turning the gaming console on to start up one of the new games he’d gotten and tossing you a controller.
“He tell you how he ended up coming with us?” Your brother asked, his gaze on the screen.
“Yeah. His dad goes on a cruise and his mom is with his stepdad’s side of the family. So he would’ve just been at the school if you didn’t bring him,” you replied, only paying half-attention to the opening cutscene.
“At least ours pretend to make an effort,” he scoffed. “His mom didn’t even offer to pay for his plane ticket.”
“Hm?”
“His mom and stepdad live on the other side of the country. They technically ‘invite’ him to Christmas every year, but he’d have to get himself there and back.”
“So it’s hardly a genuine invite.”
“And you know what his stepdad does?”
“What?”
“CEO of that logistics company that Mom and Dad are always talking about. The big one.”
“Shit, really? And he can’t be bothered to pay for his wife to see her own son once a year?”
He clicked his tongue. “Apparently not.”
A few levels into the video game, Chenle’s phone lit up with a text. He paused the game, and sighed upon reading the message. “Jisung says we can eat lunch without him. He’s suddenly not feeling well.”
You winced. “I take it his phone calls didn’t go well.”
“You go check on him. You can handle crying people better than me.”
You nodded in agreement, getting up from the couch. Outside of Jisung’s bedroom door, you listened carefully first, just in case he was still on a call. It was quiet, and you knocked softly.
“Jisung?” You called out. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” he replied, his voice sounding far away.
Opening the door, you saw him laying on the bed on top of his covers, his back to the door. You stayed in the doorway, asking, “Do you want to be alone?”
“No.”
You sat down on the bed behind him, still giving him his space. “Do you want to talk or do you want quiet?”
“My dad didn’t even pick up,” he muttered. “And my mom—God, I got to tell her about school for all of five seconds before she started gushing about how her grandbabies are learning how to write or whatever. I’ve never even met those kids, honestly, I don’t give a fuck about them. They’re not even her grandkids, they’re her husband’s. Apparently, one of them is on a little league baseball team. When she started saying I could teach him how to pitch when I come to visit for summer, I pretended the call was dropping and hung up. ‘When I come to visit’—I live with my dad in the summer because he didn’t move away from me.”
“I’m sorry, Jisung,” you said, feeling the hurt in your heart as his voice tightened and cracked.
“It’s funny, they used to have these-these blowout fights every year about who got me for Christmas,” he sniffled. “And now that they moved on and got their new families, they couldn’t care less about me.”
“Lucky for me and Chenle, then. Because we got you this year.”
He laughed, finally rolling over to face you. He wiped at his eyes, but you still saw the tears that had run down the side of his face. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do.” You gently stroked his hair, brushing some of it out of his face.
Jisung scooted closer, until he could pillow his head in your lap instead, his eyes fluttering shut as you resumed your ministrations. “I’m glad you guys got me too…”
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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26
A knock on your bedroom door woke you up. It opened, and somebody who was neither Chenle nor Jisung peered in.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” your mother hummed lightly. “Are you up?”
“Mm, yeah,” you grunted, pushing yourself up against your pillows.
She came over to press a kiss to your forehead. “Good morning.”
“Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas,” you smiled up at her, letting her take your hand in hers. “Did you and Dad just get here?”
“A few minutes ago. Your father’s getting Chenle.”
There was a loud thunk from above you, followed by a yelp and two very familiar and similar laughs that you recognized as your families’. You chuckled as your mom rolled her eyes fondly.
“I think he was successful,” you snickered.
“We’re going out for breakfast when you’re ready,” she informed you, squeezing your hand before letting it go.
“Mmkay.” You yawned as she headed for your door. “I’ll let Jisung know.”
She paused, tilting her head. “Who?”
“Didn’t Chenle tell you his friend was coming? Park Jisung?” You pointed at the room next door.
“Oh, I thought he was bringing Mark for some reason.” She looked at you with concern. “Does Jisung like basketball too?”
“I… don’t know? He plays baseball?”
“Oh. Hm.”
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“So, what are you studying, Jisung?” Your mother asked, stirring sugar into her coffee.
The five of you were at a diner in the small town at the base of the mountain, you, Jisung, and Chenle packed into one side of a booth and your parents on the other. The car ride had been filled with you and Chenle filling your parents in on your various happenings from this semester, but now your parents seemed to have zeroed in on the newcomer.
“Cybersecurity,” he rushed to answer.
Both your parents seemed impressed by that. Your dad spoke next, “And what do your parents do?”
“He’s got an athletic scholarship, Dad,” Chenle cut in before you could. You both knew what he was really asking about.
“Full ride,” you added proudly. “Baseball. He’s the pitcher.”
“Really?” Your dad’s interest was piqued—he was a bigger sports fan than your brother.
“Yes, sir,” Jisung replied.
“The school doesn’t give out full athletic scholarships frequently. You know that?”
“No, sir, I-I didn’t know that.”
Your dad took a sip of his own coffee, regarding Jisung like he was evaluating his investment portfolio. “So what makes you so valuable?”
“W-Well, uhm, I-I don’t—”
“He’s ambidextrous,” you answered for him. “He can pitch with both hands.”
“Switch pitcher?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “You know who the best switch pitcher in the history of the league is, right?”
“Kim Beomjin, sir,” Jisung replied firmly.
“Has he passed your test, yet, Dad?” Chenle scoffed. “Come on, stop treating him like he’s interviewing at the company.”
“I was trying to get to know—”
“You were being a bit much, dear,” your mother interrupted your dad’s attempts to defend himself.
“Alright. My apologies, Jisung.”
“It’s fine, sir, really.”
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You didn’t understand why your mother had asked if Jisung liked basketball until you got back to the house. Your parents had brought a few more presents with them, including, kindly, a couple for Jisung. Except they hadn’t been expecting Jisung, they had been expecting Mark, which evident in the gifts. Both Chenle and Mark loved basketball, so the matching jerseys for their favorite team would’ve made the perfect present, if it had been Mark receiving it.
“I’m so sorry, Jisung,” your mother kept apologizing, clearly embarrassed at the mistake.
“No, I-I like basketball too, ma’am,” he tried to reassure her.
“It’s a requirement for being my friend,” Chenle helped him out. “If only I could’ve made it a requirement for being my sister.”
“If we got to pick, I would’ve made not being annoying as fuck a requirement for being my brother,” you retorted.
“Language!” Your mom scolded you, at the same time that your dad warned Chenle to “Be nicer to your sister!”
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Your parents were gone again after dinner, leaving in a flurry of hugs, kisses, and promises of celebrating Christmas together properly next year. As soon as he’d shut the door behind them, Chenle turned to you, cynical disbelief on his face already.
“No way,” he chuckled and shook his head. His phone rang then, and he tutted. “Gotta take this. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
Jisung was already in the living room, and you plopped down next to him on one of the couches, dropping your head into your hands.
“Your parents seem nice,” he said quietly.
“Mhm, they’re really great when they’re here,” you agreed bitterly. “Sort of makes it hurt worse. It’d be easy to just hate them if they left us all the time and changed plans last-minute and were awful when we did see them. But they do all that shit, and then I see them and it’s good. And it makes me start thinking that maybe it’ll be different, maybe they’ll really keep their promises next time.”
“I get that.” He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. “But maybe this time you just don’t get your hopes up. Might be easier on you.”
“Yeah, probably.”
With a sigh, you sat up, turning into Jisung’s side and snaking your arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you as you buried your face in his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head. His other hand slowly rubbed your back, encouraging you to relax into his embrace even more.
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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31
The morning of New Year’s Eve, the three of you were sitting around the kitchen table silently eating breakfast scrounged together from various leftovers and the singular grocery store trip you’d taken since Christmas. Then, there was a knock at the front door, and with your cereal spoon sticking out of your mouth, you gave Chenle and Jisung a bewildered look. They, however, didn’t seem put off at all.
“Y/N, can you go see who it is?” Chenle asked you, returning his gaze to his phone screen.
“Are you expecting someone?” You retorted. “You go answer it.”
The knocking came again, more insistent this time.
“Y/N! Just get it!” Chenle demanded loudly.
“Fine! Fine!” You got up, stomping over to the front door.
Opening the solid wood door, your jaw dropped when you saw six figures on the other side, before you were tackled in a hug by the one at the front.
“Surprise!” Sooyoung squealed, nearly squeezing the air out of your lungs.
“Soo!” You gasped, hugging her back. “What are you doing here?”
“We were invited!” Jaemin informed you cheerily, grabbing you for a bear hug next.
“We’d never pass up an invite to a Chenle-Y/N party,” Jeno’s eyes twinkled as he pecked the crown of your head.
“Especially a New Year’s Eve party,” Donghyuck added.
“Since when have we been throwing a New Year’s Eve party?” You spluttered, still in delighted shock as you took in all of your friends standing in your foyer.
Mark hugged you too. “Chenle texted us a couple days before Christmas to see if we could make it for New Year’s.”
You grabbed your roommate’s hand, bewildered the most by her presence. She wasn’t friends with Chenle or any of the other guys standing there, to your knowledge. “But how did you…?”
“Jisung’s idea,” Chenle had joined you all, standing at the threshold of the foyer with the baseball player. “We figured out that Renjun and Sooyoung were in a study group together this semester and…”
You’d spotted Huang Renjun, one of Chenle’s friends from college whom you’d met several times before, hanging back on the fringes of the group. You smiled at him before beelining for Jisung, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing his cheek a couple times in your excitement.
“Thank you!” You were smiling ear to ear, so much that your cheeks hurt, but you couldn’t help it.
“You’re welcome, Y/N.” Jisung returned the hug, rubbing your back. “My late Christmas present to you.”
You let him go to hug your brother next, hooking your chin over his shoulder and squeezing him so tight you felt like your chest might burst, and you hoped he could feel how much all of this—how much he—meant to you. Despite everything you may say or do to each other. “Thanks, Chenle.”
“Of course,” he whispered, hugging you back just as tight.
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“SooSoo, I’m serious, not that much has happened!” You promised, laying on your bed to watch as she got settled in your room. She had of course insisted that you filled her in on every details of everything that’s happened between you and Jisung, including things that she had already heard before since you two talked almost every night. “It’s only been like a week, and my brother is literally here.”
“We all saw those little cheek kisses earlier,” she replied pointedly. “You’re at least going to kiss him at midnight, right?”
“Maybe,” you giggled, quite literally kicking your feet as you thought about it. “Onto you—You just spent three hours in a car with them, have you figured out if you want me to set you up with Jeno or Jaemin?”
“We took two cars. I was in Renjun’s with Donghyuck,” she informed you with a desolate sigh.
“Why did you—”
“He offered because he knew I didn’t know anybody except him, and I didn’t know how to explain why I wanted to go in the other one!”
“Foiled once more by empathy and kindness.”
“I’ll figure it out before we go back to school!”
“Maybe you can get one of their numbers on your own before then.”
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Despite the reputations that ‘Chenle-Y/N’ parties carried amongst your friends, and your friends also bringing enough alcohol to host a full-blown kegger, the event itself was pretty low-key. You’d gotten the firepit on the back porch going, food ordered, music going throughout the house, and had already completed several different games.
You were fixing yourself a cup of eggnog in the kitchen when you spotted someone out by the firepit. Pouring another mug, you took both out with you. Jisung looked up when he heard the back door open. He smiled as he recognized that it was you, scooting over on the bench to make room for you to sit with him.
“Eggnog?” You offered a cup out to him. “I didn’t spike it, but I can go add something in if you really want.”
“No, this is perfect,” he chuckled, his laughs rising as white wisps in the cold air. “I’ve been thinking…”
“About?”
“Were the three options hot chocolate, cider, and eggnog?”
It took you a second to catch up, but once you had recalled your first night in the mountains, you burst into laughter, nodding. “Yeah, those were the three options when I made you pick a number.”
He smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “There was something else, that I was thinking about.”
“Oh?”
“Are-Are we going to kiss at midnight? Do you want to? I know we haven’t gone on a real date or anything—”
“I do want to kiss you,” you admitted. “Do you?”
He nodded hurriedly. “Yes, god.”
“You still seem… fidgety. We can wait, if you—”
“That’s not it.” He set his cup of eggnog down, and you did as well. “I want to kiss you. I just don’t want the first time I do to be in front of a bunch of our friends.”
You smirked, tilting your head curiously. “Are you asking to practice before?”
He blinked. “I don’t think I was before, but I definitely am now.”
You snickered a little, leaning in and gently touching your lips to his in a feather-light kiss. He let out a small sigh against your lips, one of his hands coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer, sealing his mouth over yours. Everything was warm, no matter the fire or the cold wind or the thick jacket you were wearing, you were being heated from the inside out.
When Jisung pulled back, he had such a dazzlingly soft smile on his face that you couldn’t help but stare, wanting to burn that image in the back of your eyelids forever. He moved to duck his head shyly, but you grabbed his face.
“I think we might need some more practice before midnight,” you teased, nuzzling your nose with his affectionately.
“Mm, of course,” he agreed humorously, kissing you again. And again, and again, and again.
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⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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TAGLIST
@annenakamura @bee-the-loser @lotties-readings @ppddpjdr @reiofsuns2001
@classicroyalty @giirlfriendd @shaqs-oatmeal @sofipolii01
@tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69
@winkeuu
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f4wning · 3 months ago
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ok guys this is lowk gonna sound weird at first bc of the phrasing but imagine a yandere who's in a relationship.
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warnings: obsession, stalking
➣ in a relationship!yandere who stumbles upon you when he and his partner (now ex! you’re the only one he loves, don’t worry) were out shopping. he had bumped into you while his partner had been shopping in a different aisle.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who stares at you, admiring your face for a split second before apologizing profusely.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who’s immediately guilt ridden. he was practically looking at you with heart eyes while he was in a relationship! he’s such a bad person, god fucking damnit. 
➣ in a relationship!yandere who tries to forget you, but the image of your face is practically burned into his mind. he constantly thinks back to you, and he hates it.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who starts comparing everything about his partner to what he remembers of you. the way you smiled to the way his partner smiles, the softness of your voice when you said, “it’s okay,” after him bumping into you to his partner’s voice, the shape of your eyes to his partner’s. nothing was the same, and he hated it.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who becomes distant with his partner. he can’t bring himself to even fake his affection. how could he when his thoughts are consumed by you? when you consume his entire being.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who starts going back to the same store every single fucking day, hoping to see you again. he knows it’s ridiculous, maybe even borderline obsessive, but he can’t help himself. 
➣ in a relationship!yandere who finally sees you again (after stalking your social media and finding out where you live and then walking around your neighborhood..). this time, he makes sure to bump into you on purpose.
➣ in a relationship!yandere who ends things with his partner that very night. he didn’t have any reasoning; just broke things off with them. all he says is the cliche, “i don’t think this is working anymore. it’s not you, it’s me.”
➣ newly single!yandere who now dedicates all of his time to getting closer to you. he learns your habits, your favorite places, your likes and dislikes. he’s not stalking you! it’s just research.
➣ newly single!yandere who slowly and carefully weaves himself into your life. you don’t even notice his sudden appearance. his appearances start becoming more and more frequent, though; random meetings here and there not so random anymore, short hellos now long conversations, and that infatuated look in his eyes tell you all you need to know.
➣ newly single!yandere who imagines what it’ll be like when you’re finally his. it won’t be long; just a few more days til you’re in his clutches. he’ll never let you go.
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wendichester · 20 days ago
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hi!! could i request a sam x reader where he notices that the him and the reader are almost inseparable, not bc they’re besties but bc they work so much together (research together , hunt etc) and he notices she’s taken a lot of his mannerisms, picking up on the way he dresses (like layering flannel shirts with leather jackets etc) and she takes one of his flannels just to chill in in the bunker bc it’s cold & he admits he loves it when she’s picking up on his stuff? maybe in the end they admit they both have a crush on eachother? thank you!!
˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧ the sam winchester vibe,
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summary. you've picked on some of sam's habits.
pairing. sam winchester x reader
wordcount. 464
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The bunker is quiet, save for the soft rustle of papers as you flip through an old tome, your brow furrowed in concentration. Across the table, Sam glances up from his laptop, his gaze lingering on you.
It’s not the first time he’s caught himself doing this—watching you. But today, something about the way you look stops him in his tracks.
Your outfit is almost identical to his: a flannel layered under a worn-out jacket, jeans, and boots. It’s practical, sure, but it’s more than that. It’s his style.
Sam’s lips twitch into a small smile. He remembers when you used to dress differently—brighter colors, more carefree. Now, your wardrobe mirrors his, and he knows why. You’ve been inseparable for months, spending nearly every waking hour researching, hunting... everything together.
He notices the little things, too. The way you chew on your pen when you’re deep in thought—just like he does. The way you’ve started taking your coffee black, despite swearing you hated it that way. Even the way you sit, hunched slightly over your work, mimics his own posture.
And then there’s the flannel you’re wearing now.
His.
You’d grabbed it from his room earlier, muttering something about the bunker being freezing. He hadn’t said anything at the time, but now, seeing you in it, something warm blooms in his chest.
“You know that’s mine, right?” he says, breaking the silence.
You look up, blinking in surprise before glancing down at yourself. A sheepish smile spreads across your face. “Oh. Yeah. Hope you don’t mind. It’s warm.”
Sam shakes his head, a soft chuckle escaping him. “I don’t mind.”
You go back to your book, but he can’t stop staring. After a moment, he closes his laptop, leaning back in his chair.
“You’ve picked up a lot of my habits,” he says, his tone teasing.
You raise an eyebrow, looking at him over the rim of your mug. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know, the flannels, the coffee, the whole…” He gestures vaguely toward you. “Sam Winchester vibe.”
You laugh, the sound light and easy. “Guess that’s what happens when you spend all your time with someone.”
He hesitates, his smile softening. “I like it.”
You tilt your head, curiosity sparking in your eyes. “You like what?”
“That you’ve picked up on my stuff,” he admits, his voice quieter now. “I like… having you around.”
Your cheeks flush, and for a moment, you’re both silent. “I like being around you, too,” you say finally, your voice just as soft. “More than I probably should.”
Sam’s heart pounds harder in his chest. He leans forward, his gaze locked on yours. “What if I told you I feel the same way?”
You smile, your cheeks still pink. “Then I’d say it’s about time, huh?”
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want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @whereiwakewarm ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles ⋆ @hauntedrose555 ⋆ @chevroletdean ⋆ @dulcescorderitas ⋆ @blackmarketfruitrollups ⋆ @impala67rollingthroughtown ⋆ @nervoussystemss ⋆ @daryls-luvrr
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notaplaceofhonour · 3 months ago
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antizionist: aha see! this jew mentioned jews and israel in the same sentence! they’re conflating jews & israel! that’s zionist propaganda! that makes them one of the bad ones!
jew: “stop conflating jews and israel” is about the dual loyalty trope, in which jews are treated as inherently suspect, as if we’re operatives of israel, by nature of being jewish. what you’re doing here is exactly that—
az: no! i don’t believe all jews are suspect—just zionists! it’s not because they’re jewish; it’s because they’re connected to israel! plenty of jews are antizionists & i like them bc they hate israel!
jew: even if you label the few who happen to pass as “good ones”, by even putting jews through this test—sorting jews into “good” vs “bad” based on connections to a country, treating any jews with any tangential ties as inherently suspect, and rejecting any pushback from jews about this out-of-hand as zionist “hasbara” propaganda—in practice, what you are doing is in fact already treating jews as especially suspect by nature of being jewish, even if your theoretical reasons aren’t “they’re jewish”
jew: additionally, while you may say “i don’t hate them for being jewish, i hate them for their connection to israel” in theory, when most jews in practice say they feel connected to & care about israel & that this is an important part of what being jewish means to them—here are links to half a dozen polls from pew research to jewish orgs showing this—this overinflation of any jewish connection or identification with israel to “this person is an evil zionist pro-israel anti-palestine evil evil evil racist” is, again, in practice treating all jews with only a few very small exceptions as inherently suspect & as if they were the government of israel—which is the dual loyalty trope the phrase “don’t conflate jews with israel” exists to criticize
az: ZIONIST! >:(
az: [BLOCK]
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