#i do think half of it is jokingly
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are we excited to approach qniki with nuance
#eleanor.txt#i have the same issue with courtney whitmore that the fandom excuses a lot of her actions that should not be excused#this may shock some of you. female characters can be flawed#they will make mistakes. and do bad things#i do think half of it is jokingly#but holding women and female characters to this impossibly high standard of moral perfection and excusing their every single action#is not a great move imo#she’s going to fuck up and we need to let her and be normal about it#this goes for qrivers too#qsmp#when i start posting qniki meta and i WANT to post qniki meta. i will be tapping this sign#going to ask that everybody gets real thoughtful real quick#going to request we stop reductive ethics in female character critique. please. for me#it’s very much the same vein as (but not identical to) the reduction of her to her relationships w male characters#she’s going to be friends with some of them and you Have to be normal about it#she may even flirt with some of them! she may be in a canonical relationship at some point on the server! be regular about that#nihachu
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Trademark: Top-tier Bucktommy writer + generally Cool + getting Buck pregnant
Thank you + thank you + thank you!
#i really do keep meaning to write some actual mpreg fic but it keeps getting swept away by other ideas#like the alien invasion fic i'm dying to write#where tommy gets called to fly against them while the lafd is busy on the ground trying to save lives amid the chaos#and they get word that the entire ragtag squadron of which tommy was a part gets wiped out#buck is so devastated he just shuts down and works himself nearly to death trying to save people trying to make tommy's sacrifice worth it#in a week LA is in ruins and the 118 is barely holding on when they get word that another wave of alien ships is headed their way#they know this is it and just as the ships crest the horizon -- there's one ship that suddenly breaks formation and turns on the others#completely stunned the 118 watches as the ship guns down half of the others then leads the rest on a wild chase#and then eddie shouts 'those are american military flight maneuvers! whoever's flying that thing is on our side!'#buck thinks about the first time he visited the harbor station and he'd jokingly asked everyone for dirt on tommy#and tommy's teammate nico was like 'i don't know about dirt but i can tell you right now: that guy can fly literally anything'#buck watches this one ship attempt the impossible while bobby's on the radio telling anyone who might be listening#that one of their own has commandeered an enemy ship and is holding off the next wave and needs immediate support#eventually the ship lands clumsily on a crumbling rooftop and buck runs up a hundred flights of stairs and bursts onto the roof#just in time to see tommy come stumbling out of the ship -- obviously having been through it and like missing an eye or something#and when tommy sees buck his face just crumbles and buck's already sobbing as they limp-run at each other#crashing together crying and laughing and buck slides to the ground clutching tommy while the rest of the 118 pile onto the roof#and they watch a squadron of f-15s descend from the clouds to take out the straggler ships and it feels like the tide is turning#yeah it's basically independence day but with 2000% more angst
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Finally testing what tumblr will let me post--
I might write a fic for context some day bc this is a thought that has been absolutely Rotting my brain for ages asdhdhz I just think,, as long as you pick it out for him (and it wouldn't cause Actual public embarrassment) he'd wear anything..
#obey me smut#obey me fanart#obey me lucifer#nsft#my art#Lucifer#i just think#you kind of half jokingly get him something#and suggest he wear it under his uniform#and obviously he gives off the energy that there's no way in hell he'd be doing that#but then the next morning you make eye contact at breakfast#and he very very minutely reacts#and you just Know--#and ofc then accost the poor man in a hallway or something to check sfjzfjdjg#this was just one of many instances in which i sketched this but I actually colored it this time so it's allowed to breech containment#thinking out loud
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Fucking love the idea of the chassis being an amplifier because you kinda get the best of both worlds from the whole chassis theory argument where wheatley's still being influenced but you keep the complexity of his character intact, plus you get the double whammy existential crisis of being driven to do horrible things but still having to deal with the fact after you come to your senses that no matter which way you look at it was still all you. In this essay I will
Ignore the giant rant in the tags its 1 AM
#portal#portal 2#wheatley#bc like the chassis definitely AFFECTED wheat man. but i think that some people it was like mind control??? and nah its more like#someones being a big asshole to you and you half-jokingly go in your head “im gonna kill this person”. because you're genuinely that annoye#but you dont actually do it bc obviously you shouldnt and you were never intending to actually do so.#yeah imagine if you actually DID that#you HAD that thought. you FELT that anger.#and the only thing that you needed to pull the trigger on that gun was a little push over the cliff. and you put yourself on the edge of it#imagine that and thats how i see that#a lot of the stuff wheatley blurts out in the chassis is from like a genuine place too#he sounds genuinely hurt#genuinely angry and sad and confused#hes genuinely THAT upset.#plus there are even points where he seems to be enjoying his time in the chassis.#he does these goofy villain lines and laughs at the thought of you fucking dying#obviously the chassis is a terrible thing to be in and the bad moments outweigh the good but nontheless.#this seems less like straight up direct control#or just him functioning normally#this sounds like what happens when you remove a very fucked up man's inhibitions and just let him go apeshit#because lets be real. wheatleys always been slightly unhinged. just in the funne haha tumblr way up until that point#he smashed a window casually and briefly laughed while a bunch of turrets were being thrown into a fire#hes not exactly evil either but hes definitley not like#okay#i mean we all knew that look at the fucking boss battle lines but#anyways the point is i fucking love the implications of that#the existential crisis that would cause#imagine going through that and having to question like#what was you? did you really want all of that? did you ALWAYS want it? where does the chassis begin and you END?#GODDDDD that headcannon goes so hard
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Had a dream of like that small thin Jay from 2014 lipsyncing to Savage Garden's "To the Moon & Back" while writhing on the floor in a turquoise bikini so needless to say now I'm blasting this image into my brain
#i remember thinking wow that is legitimately impressive he's doing a good job !#it was a bit for half in the bag lol and a hitb i hadn't seen yet#so i thought wistfully 'man they don't put this type of effort into hitb bits anymore sigh'#blortchmod#jay#and yes. in the dream as always i was about to go tell the groupchat about this#anyway i apolocheese jay#my brain conjured this up bc of that mike bit where he jokingly said jay has like a new favorite tswift song
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#writing#poetry#2022#October 2022#october 13 2022#You’re Kind of an Idiot#yeah i still like this one#I think i specifically trying to imitate Richard Sikken with the funky formating and view changes or however you call it#the context was I convinced my friends to add me to this group chat that had all this people they were friends that I didn’t know#(I did know half of them tho)#and like this wasnt a decision made by the group chat but just the three in it i had lunch with#originally it was a joke i wasnt in it but then i got them to add me#I thought i might get kicked out by one of the people who didn’t know me once they realized this random guy was in the gc#but i ended up fitting it really well and especially got along with the guy i was most intimidated by#there was a discord server that was the REAL gc and wasnt in it#but there was a vote (using discord emote reacts) for if i was gonna be added or not#I didn’t know how to see who did what react on discord at the time so it was anonymous to me at first#the ones who voted no where ones i knew and they totally did it jokingly but i was afraid i was being too annoying and karen esc about it#anyways i got voted and everything went well#the server and group chat eventually got deleted due to drama to do this this girl who was only there cause she was this one guy’s gf#(She fucking sucked btw. like she was a white girl who made racism jokes. thats the kind of person she was)#(fun fact her and the guy she dated straight up met in a psych ward after he tried to kill himself)#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd
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Lmaoo the power went out at work like two hours after I left 😭 like right before we opened too agsgdgdgdgdgd RC texted me and I was like "I can honestly see customers banging on the door like 'LET ME IN!!! I HAVE A FLASHLIGHT! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO SHOP!!!!"
Like 'listen I deserve my special treat of treating retail workers like shit bc I just got out of church! God is not my reward, being an asshole to underpaid service workers IS' sgdggdgdgdgdggfhfh
I can mentally see customers trying the doors at BOTH the entrance and exit and front end shooing them away as FormallyGoodManager tries to find more buckets/ways to patch the ceiling from the rain sgdgdgdgdgdgd like just a massive shit show
Kinda sad it happened after I left but also not dgdgdhdhd
#marquilla#the first time there was a power outage when i was there we all got flashlights from the floor and we just huddled around like at a campfire#pointing our flashlights under our chins or when someone would talk we would all shine the flashlights on them sgdgdgdggdgdhd#my forklift buddy was still there then i remember bc he half jokingly suggested we play flashlight tag and then turned his off sgdgdggdgdgdg#i miss him so much sgdgdgdg another time it went out only half the store went out and we didnt get flashlights but we had to use#our phones agdgdgdggd the scanners still worked so we still had to do our job and i think the printer worked so we still had to do signs
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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okay so i am once again in a bit of a pickle due to the fact that i never learn from my mistakes :)
#there's this guy at work that i kind of fancy right?#not the guy from a couple of years ago this is another one and tbh i like him way more like we really vibe#and a couple of months ago we kind of started flirting as a joke? like at first it wasn't even flirting we just paid each other compliments#but it. kind of got out of hand? like now we're DEFINITELY flirting and we hug every time we see each other and so on#and like today he kind of asked me out?? like he asked when we're gonna go out and i generically said whenever he wants so uhhh#i bought some time but also i basically said yes OOPS#like ive been thinking i need to chill and slow this down until i figure it out but then i apparently can't stop running my fucking mouthhhh#the thing is. before the summer i did this whole thing to kind of reconnect w my ex#and things seemed to kind of work even though we didn't get together and also she's gonna be out of town for at least another year#but it's not like i have any certainty that when she comes back we're gonna get back together or anything#it's just. she's the love of my life and half the time i think there's no point in dating other people#and then the other half i think i really need to get over it#but the thing is i really care about this guy. i don't want to end up hurting him at all which is probably gonna happen if i keep doing this#I ALWAYS DO THISSSSSS#I ALWAYS JOKINGLY FLIRT W PEOPLE AND THEN IT GETS REAL AND IM OH SHIT NVM DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT
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I can't believe Kalpas is literally the most normal and bearable person among the Flame Chasers
#I have a lot of opinions on this I didn't expect to have#but a simple one is 'I understand why he's constantly done with everyone and can't stand them' lol#I was half jokingly thinking about that prior to the fact‚ but the scene in which he gets angry at Mei#when he thought she was suggesting Sakura was a traitor made me think of a lot of things and everything has just been adding to that#I find him ironically very similar to Eden as I find Mosbius very similar to Su idk#Anyway... I have a lot of thoughts about this hahaha I didn't expect that at all#And I definitely didn't expect Edgy Teen Kalpas would be the one I'd find most bearable#Oh I just met Kosmo and he's literally an Edgy Teen and it's so funny how he's written and I say this in a good way for now lol#But Edgy Teen Kosma made me further think Kalpas is very similar to Eden idk haha#ngl... the writing of that arc is not too good imo I can't belive the hype but I do see some similarities in writing to the Penacony arc#And I'm not super into the Penacony writing#It's interesting to see these things#Avdksjd I just realised I have to reply to Vyn#I talk too much
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everything just looks so insurmountable when you’re sad you know??
#cyanoupdates#morosely half-jokingly entertaining the thought of suing my school#morosely considering doing homework that I actually enjoy even#morosely thinking about working on a hobby
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the car seat is headresting that’s for certain
#watching bake off and in my head it’s just vague twin fantasy#‘woah that’s a nice cake’ ‘cute thing don’t be a rude thing!!!!!!!!’ rauasasaaaaaaa#man i still have so much work to do but this is more fun#i want to like. gain the power of flight i think#i want to detach all my limbs and move them about and put them back together#and i don’t mean that in an unhappy way i should clarify im doing alright this evening#but like. i want to dance as if i did not have a human body and just explode everywhere and and and#hjhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i don’t think this is only csh i think it’s also cause concerts are slightly different to what i thought they were#turns out it’s actually more convenient but it’s different so it’s the end of the world etc#man i remember one time i was at choir and someone jokingly called me a tory for not liking change :(#i do like change in some respects!!!! but the plans are not the original plans what am i meant to do now#uh i’m just saying words here now huh#i dunno there’s a lot of thoughts in my head i can’t make sense of it all#i need to do my duolingo and homework and homework and homework#they’re stressed on bake off which isn’t helping i don’t think but still quite enjoyable#i need to find music teachers as soon as possible to ask questions i must not forget to do that !!! that is very important#(need to see if i can keep the baritone in school thursday -> friday next week i really hope i can#hm hm ok that’s enough of a tumblr post i need to have a shower and i’ll try and get to bed like what before one??#no ok. half 12 half 12 that’s reasonable ok i’ll call it that#ezra’s real life rambles#ezra likes music#<- got a bit off topic but that’s the original post
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After W.BG...
Stellan was sent to Operose and started working there. It's rare anyone hears from him anymore, no one knows where he is but he's still alive
Rex eventually loses control of the game and gets taken in by Ty. He's presumed dead, though in reality some of him got put into the experiments and another version of him got turned into a Boot. Boot!Rex doesn't remember that he ever had control of W.BG
Alice refused to do anything after the fourth challenge. She either joined or started her own Base and swore revenge. She was originally going to be sent to OVER but said fuck that.
Ezra is at OVER.
Bradley is probably dead (for now)
#wbg au#as i half jokingly told toby the competent ones go to operose so it would make sense that stellan ends up there#ezra is also smart but i dont think he'd want to do more than patrol anyway#he's not interested in climbing up the corporate ladder#alice is fucking things up as she should!#one day ill throw her into the office#headcanons
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gonna reopen my patreon hell yeah
#red rambles#my brother jokingly was like 'you should give me 10% for running your patreon if you cant do it' and like#i was like if you are serious i will give you half. do we have a deal. will you run my fucking patreon for me#so now my brother is going to run my patreon for me#and get 50% of the profits because frankly i think that's fair enough#im just gonna draw. i dont like managing that shit
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💜
#I’m going to complain about something that is probably a non issue and I’m making a bigger deal out of it than it is probably but I’m having#anxiety about it and this is my journal basically so#I have been telling everyone and their mother that im counting down the days until I get the keys to my home on April 7th and a few days ago#these girls from work who like we’ve known each other like a year and a half by now probably and at first they kind of hated me because for#my work task I have to come to them to get something signed right and they make a huge deal of it sometimes but I think im growing on them#they ask me things now and joke around with me so it’s an improvement and a few days ago when I was talking with them about it they were#like do you want help cleaning your home since I said I was gonna take that first weekend to deep clean it and I jokingly accepted thinking#they didn’t mean it because people just say things like that you know? but then one of them texted me tonight to ask if#I would still like them to come over next weekend and I said sure but you don’t have to clean you can just hang out and they are bringing#games and like on the one hand I would like more friends but on the other hand 1 this is my home I’m inviting people I don’t know outside of#work into my home and 2 what if they turn out to be mean to me and then is it like I’ve soured my home a bit??#3 what if it’s super awkward or something and then I have to see them at work#like it’s probably fine and I do want more friends but if they said something bad about my home which I love so much already I would have to#ask them to leave#i’m just talking to myself#processing out loud I guess
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saw some big post abt ttcc and don't remember what it said cuz I tuned it out halfway through but i think I remember something about graham and unnecessary angst and that's all that stuck with me
which. Untrue. All angst is necessary angst. Keeps him healthy. I'm putting him through the wringer as we speak
#/this is half jokingly#when the cookie crumbles#i think graham deserves to have a little bit of fear put in him. Not majorly. But enough.#I want this cog to realize he can die and lose people around him <3 and that people around him do terrible things sometimes.#this is a little more serious but i do think this man's ego is a little more artificial than he likes to think.#the last few panels he appears in a meeting of two minds implies that.
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