#i do not have bipolar
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I am positive that this mood stabilizer is fucking with my head
#i do not have bipolar#the er psychiatrist was very dumb for putting me in valproic acid#i feel very dumb and angry all of the time now
0 notes
Text
Recently I’ve been getting anons and comments doubting the validity of some of the stories I tell on here. There’s nothing I can do to convince you that the stories I tell on here are completely genuine. All I can say is that they really are. I only post the wackiest, most interesting or funny stories of my life on here. You don’t get much of the boring day to day stuff.
Truth is, I come from a very long line of crazy people. When my dad was in med school he and some friends planted a small homemade bomb in an abandoned bathroom at their university. His roommate stole a pancreas from the corpse lab and put it in a girl’s backpack. The entire med school was suspended because no one owned up to it. My uncle would sneak out at night with my grandma’s car and she’d find out because she’d check the mileage and see it’d gone up, so my uncle started driving her car backwards since that didn’t increase the mileage. He got arrested driving her car backwards on the highway to another town. My uncle would steal my grandpa’s shotgun, tell his friends to jump in the pool, and start firing it randomly at the backyard. My cousin genuinely had two weed smoking girlfriends who were also girlfriends with each other. My great uncle had an affair exposed by having his intimate photos and videos with his mistress sent to the family groupchat by people who stole his phone, all because they were salty that my aunt told them to go fuck themselves when they messaged her asking for money. My aunt took out all her life savings and moved to another state to build a bunker because she believes the apocalypse is coming, and she didn’t even take any of her children. I don’t know how to tell you this, but life is just stranger than fiction sometimes. The sample size of life stories you get on my blog are just the instances in which that’s true.
#I don’t make money on tumblr I don’t have any mutuals I talk to this is truly just where I deposit my wackiest thoughts and experiences#there’s nothing I can do to prove to you that I’m being truthful when I make these posts but I just am#you not believing me doesn’t make it any less true it just robs you of basking in the ridiculousness that is my life#There are many mental illnesses running through my family but the one I inherited is bipolar disorder lol#there’s probably many more that didn’t reach me. whatever the fuck my uncle has being one of them#he was also arrested because he did a bunch of coke and started walking completely naked on top of the fence walls around the property#when you consider my family you actually discover that I am incredibly normal and well adjusted#please also remember that my family is from small town Brazil#shit like this just happens#this isn’t even touching on my great grandma who was a psychic
228 notes
·
View notes
Text
my roman empire is whatever the heck shameless writers were on when writing ian’s lover interests after mickey’s incarceration. if they wanted us to hate him (as if) why did they make his partners so shitty to him? like caleb told ian to grow up cause ian was worried not getting the job due to his bipolar??? caleb saying ‘push past it’ like bro you are so damn privileged to think a mental illness is something you can just brush off like that, what are we taking meds for when we have our lord and saviour caleb saying it’s no big deal!
and trevor giving no shit that ian was having an episode? oh ian you seem off your meds you alright mate? no? oh okay i don’t give a fuck i tried keep it up you do you i was just your boyfriend and work as a freaking social service i surely know that ignoring the problem and getting angry at someone mentally unstable is the way to go!
they wrote all that without gallavich being endgame in mind, did they hate ian that much??? only one who never got scared to stop ian (the knife scene, the funeral, the guns) and insists he needs meds (pushing him on the wall so he wouldn’t leave, suggesting to call the cops on him so force his recovery, calming him down during hallucinations, not making him feel ashamed for them, getting him meds and so on) has always been mickey and only mickey.
they saw each others at their worst and their best and thought yeah i wanna spend the rest of my life with this person???????????
i wonder if they would have made ian end up miserable with someone who doesn’t care about his mental health if mickey didn’t come back??? god to be a fly on the wall in that writing room
#i have ian in my head saying#how do you know you love me#i’m bipolar are you crazy you want to be with me forever#cause his others boyfriends were like okay yeah bipolar dude i give no shit#that you’re going maniac let’s go back to ME#as if ian wasn’t already overlooked by his entire family#post#shameless us#gallavich#shameless#mickey milkovich#ian gallagher#ian x mickey
219 notes
·
View notes
Text
hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.
yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.
because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.
but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.
because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."
and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.
is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.
just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.
#eliot posts#suicide mention#animal abuse mention#i guess#ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post#i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often#i frequently block people for saying it#sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too#i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression#but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.)#and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness#and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them#and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys#so yeah! fucking stop it!
803 notes
·
View notes
Text
love so much how in 3a maddie buck and eddie are all competing in the manic episode Olympics between stalker arc/ lawsuit arc/ fight club arc truly an unmatched television viewing experience
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
buddy of mine was talking about crazy side effects from his mood stabilizers and i said YOU'RE BIPOLAR? ME TOO! and he said HELL YEAH!! and then we did sumo stances at each other and screamed so high pitched only dogs could hear it
#shebbz shoutz#the bipolar struggle of balancing meds to erase the depression yet keep a fun and useful amount of mania#i gave up man i do not have the time to turn my own body into an ochem lab LOL now i'm just raw unfiltered whateverthefuck
297 notes
·
View notes
Text
"It's called a manic episode"
Me: *giggling and kicking my feet* I have those
#make more characters mentally ill#like I know most characters are but like canonically#I want them to say they have depression or they're bipolar#I want them to take medication or have taken it in the past and now aren't on anything#have characters talk about this#have them make jokes about it like people do irl#I immediately got obsessed with Lucifer because he said “Take that depression”#I just want characters like me y'know#that's something everyone wants and something a lot of people don't get#people are mentally ill and it's not going to go away so at least make it socially expectable#sorry my cousin has been being a bitch about this stuff lately#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc gangle#the amazing digital circus gangle#episode 4 tadc#everyone was such a vibe in this episode lol
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
theres been a few times now where ive seen someone very clearly plagiarize either a design, idea, or even rip tutorial sections verbatim to claim as their own from my work, but the issue is i simply dont have the time or energy to fight it so i cant do much, so whenever i see a new instance of it my soul is crushed for 0.2 seconds before reforming and i look verbatim like this paul rudd bit:
#for the most part i dont care that much actually since this isnt like#my job#i literally just do creative stuff to not go insane#and its mostly my cosplay work that gets stolen which....its all emulation#i get really weirded out by when i have tutorials ripped bc that is genuinely more of my actual unique innovation#but whatever floats your stoat i really dont want to be caught up in a grubbn's match#the worst ones where were it was people that got more credit/more traction or there was strange personal context#those ones are weird but not worth picking a fight over#but if anyone tried to rip my OC designs i would be actually hurt but also deeply confused bc they only make sense in context#like if someone tried to cop sulu it'd be like:#'ah yes you too are a mid-30s physics doctorate with bipolar II managing long form depressive episodes while medication intolerant-#and coping with the fallout of people being unable to stay by you due to the intensity of your suicidal nature and obsessive working'#genuinely i would be gobsmacked
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
what ever happened to diaries? why did everyone stop documenting their feelings? i personally think this is how everyone ended up repressing emotions and unable to process them. a diary really keeps me sane and has always been a key part of my healing process. i can write silly goofy things without feeling judged by anyone, and without having to explain it to anyone. i can keep a record of what's been going on and reflect on it later to see if anything has changed. and, every single time, something has changed. my perspective expands. my heart swells for what i felt in the past. it's like a love letter to myself. my dreams, my goals, my heartaches, my joys, it's all there in one place. highly recommend fr.
#i mean its really somethin sacred#it helps me remember what ppl have done or haven't as well so i can heal#ive always done it since a little girl and i think we need to bring that back!#but also u just have to remember to do it and that requires discipline#thoughts#mental health#actually adhd#adhd#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder
987 notes
·
View notes
Note
random question, do you think it's possible for someone who has lost their creativity to regain it? ..asking for a friend..
im not sure what your situation is, but i believe everyone has creative potential just from being a human being and you cant just permanently lose your creativity. i struggle with losing creativity at times, usually its when I go into a depressive period. I usually just keep making art through it, ill look through old ideas I wrote down or work on commissions just stuff that doesnt require a ton of creativity but keeps me working on art. even if I dont feel good doing it just doing the work of making art helps me to eventually want to make art again
#i dont rly have any advice for this sorry#but this kind of sounds like burnout#idk if what I do will work for you or not all i can really do is share how i deal w it#i go in and out of depressive episodes kind of like bipolar but without manic episodes#i just feel like total shit for some weeks or months and then feel normal again and its independent of enviornmental stuff or triggers#i cant rly do anything about it except try to lessen the depression w meds and such
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drew some kyles to feel something again
#my art#kyle broflovski#south park#sighhh do i tag k2 and everyone else…#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#still dont have a design for him so huzzah im gonna draw him kinda like shinji#fuck bipolar disorder man its so overrrr#I miss my hypomanic episode this is such a fucking draaaaaggggg#wtv Mexican Kyle save me
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am positive that this mood stabilizer is fucking with my head
#i do not have bipolar#the er psychiatrist was very dumb for putting me in valproic acid#i feel very dumb and angry all of the time now
0 notes
Text
when your ADHD gets so bad you literally throw your phone across the room to try and stop yourself from "Wasting Time" instead of working
#my rambles#original#it's so bad y'all and I have bipolar so a lot of meds just#won't combine well#gotta wait until 12/18 to talk to my pscyhatrist#and see if I can't get SOMETHING to help before I mcfreaking lose it#y'all I can't do SHIT it's so fucking bad literally driving me crazy#I threw my PHONE across my ROOM like what the hell you know?
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like shit owuld be so much better if people swapped "narcissist"/"narcissistic" as insults to "self-absorbed." cause usually when theyre referring to things like 'narcissistic abuse' or 'a narcissist' they're just referring to a self-absorbed asshole, not someone with NPD. just a teeny tiny shift of language would really do wonders for people Not misunderstanding an already-stigmatized disorder.
#NPD people feel free to add on or correct me or w/e im not NPD#but as a bipolar having to see My illness used as an insult sucks and thats Less widespread than 'narc' as an insult so i cant even imagine#i listen to a lot of reddit stories and MAN people are so quick to throw that word around#someone will describe your garden variety emotional abuser and the comments will all be like NARCISSISTIC ABUSE GO TO R/RAISEDBYNARCISSISTS#its fucking wild like dude do you even know what that is though
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay so since the Cupid Ye was aired i’ve been constantly thinking about cartman’s mental condition. we know he’s probably taking medication now, so i hc him having antisocial personality disorder and bipolar disorder. and i’ve been imagining him having his depression episode for the first time after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. he’s not used to it, he has no idea what’s going on and why he suddenly feels so tired and numb all the time, so he just stays at home skipping school and avoiding social contacts. he’s scared and the “it’s all because of your illness, poopsikins!” from his mother doesn’t help at all.
and sooo i wrote a short moment about this?? i’m sorry for any mistakes because it was originally written in my native language, not in english :(
***
Ever since early childhood it was clear and obvious to everyone that Eric Cartman had problems. Not even like that, Kyle corrected himself in his thoughts. Eric Cartman had Problems. Sociopathy, sadism, aggression – all that a person could notice in Cartman after only half an hour of communication.
And Kyle wasn't too surprised when bipolar disorder was added to all of the above in a sloppy psychiatrist’s handwriting.
By the time Cartman was finally diagnosed he had already gone through several phases of mania. Kyle even did a little research on the disorder. "To know what to prepare for the next time I meet this psycho," he told Stan. "And to know how to help him if necessary," he added silently to himself.
By the age of fifteen, Stan's company was already used to Cartman's regular explosive mood swings, which were accompanied by crazy ideas, aggressive behavior, and, if absolutely unlucky, deaths of a couple or more people.
It was typical: after a short break, Cartman would burst into Kyle's room (often through the window), start showering him with business plans, startup ideas, and opportunities to have extreme fun. Kyle was silent, trying his best to ignore him and frowning irritably when Cartman smiled ecstatically and rushed to Kyle, tugging at his sleeve and almost shouting that everything would be better this time and that it’s a one hundred percent successful scheme.
For some time Broflovski genuinely believed that everyone in their friends group was going through such tortures, but after a short questioning, he found out that they had not seen Eric's mania with their own eyes. Kyle understood — and they won’t, when Cartman just chuckled at the outraged "What the fuck, Fatass?" and replied, "I guess you're just special, Kahl. They wouldn't understand." His eyes flashed especially maliciously, and Kyle looked away hastily so as not to give Cartman the opportunity to start another fight.
Well, all in all, no one's world collapsed when Cartman was diagnosed with a new mental illness. Over the past months of insane hallucinations and obsessive intrusive thoughts, he managed to make everyone sick of him. He refused to go to the therapy sessions for a long time, shouting, running away and trying to get into a fight, and Liane was too afraid to find out another unpleasant truth about her son, preferring to go with the flow and shut him up with the fulfillment of every single of his whims. Kyle doubts that anyone would have done anything to help Cartman if he hadn't intervened. Why – it was unclear to Broflovski himself, but Cartman's first depressive phase hit them both unexpectedly too hard.
Disappearing from everyone’s sight for two weeks, Cartman ignored calls and messages (although Kyle had a serious doubt that anyone other than Butters and Broflovski himself texted him) and skipped school despite Mr. Harrison's threats of expulsion.
Liane avoided answering questions, pursing her lips in frustration and talking her way out with a trivial "He's sick." Kyle didn't believe a damn second, knowing that if Cartman was sick, Kyle would have known about it the very first. Something was wrong. For some reason, the desire to find out what exactly was much stronger than it should have been when it came to Eric Cartman.
***
Perhaps Kyle really shouldn't have worried so much — not to the point of climbing into Eric's window at night. But the Cartmans hadn't opened the front door all day, and by that time Kyle's nerves were so stretched that they threatened to break if he didn't get answers to his questions in the next few minutes. Disturbing thoughts and images of possible turn of events appeared in his head. Perhaps Cartman was dead? Or, on the contrary, has killed someone and had been dissolving dismembered body of his victim for two weeks? One option was no better than the other, but nothing was even close to what he saw in Eric's bedroom.
Haggard, seven kilograms thinner, with an unhealthy skin color and bags under his eyes, he looked painfully wrong, not Cartman-like. He didn’t look exactly ill — more like lifelessly tired. But that wasn't even what hit Kyle so hard.
He did not suspect how much had been hidden in Cartman's eyes before – lively fire, hatred, anger, enthusiasm, passion – all this was gone, dissolved, buried under this empty, dead, unblinking gaze. For a second Kyle even thought (hoped?) that he was really dead, but the heaving chest under the blanket and almost inaudible sound of breathing exposed life in Cartman. He was lying on his back, his head slowly turned towards the window. Kyle sought recognition on his face, but did not see a single shade of any emotions.
He froze in the window, making eye contact with Eric, feeling like he saw something he shouldn't have. He tried to revive the old familiar hatred that usually boiled in him as soon as their eyes met, but Cartman’s emptiness totally killed all the anger. Kyle climbed through the window – Cartman didn't react in any way, lazily closing his eyes – and walked up to the bed, touching his shoulder timidly.
“Hey, Cartman?” he said, shuddering at the way his voice echoed throughout the bedroom. Cartman didn’t open his eyes but smiled hardly visibly.
“Hey, jew”. His voice was empty and emotionless and Kyle pursed his lips with a bit of a pain.
“You need to see a doctor, Cartman”, he said firmly as Eric finally opened one eye disinterestedly. “I’ll help you. I promise”.
And he did.
#OKAY THAT WAS LONG IM SORRY#im not satisfied with this and after translation it has become even worse but uhhh fine#actually doubt someone would read this much#pls let me know if you like it–#and yes kyle is protective and he will not let cartman just fight his mental illnesses by himself#:( i love them#he will go to the doctor with cartman#and he will convince liane that medication and help is necessary#and its such a hurt/comfort i am actually crying#(btw i dont have bipolar disorder sooo sorry for any mistakes!! but i probably do have depression so i know a bit about how it feels#south park#sp#eric cartman#kyman#sp kyman#kyle x cartman#kyle broflovski#cartman x kyle#kyman headcanon#kyman au#sp cartman#sp kyle
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Honestly I'm kinda teeter tottering on something, and it's sorta complicated since it has to do with like, a character having a mental illness.
In essence, I've seen some people mentioning that pAInter might be bipolar and I was thinking "Hey, I could actually represent that. I've never written a bipolar character before and as long as I do proper research and make sure he's humanized at the end of the day, it'd be fine." The issue really is, I am not bipolar. I am mentally ill and neurodivergent (OCD and autistic)
I did research and realized holy shit, this is some incredibly complicated stuff. I'd still have to do a ton of research in order to properly represent something like that. But I'm super nervous about flubbing it. I don't exactly want to just shove a character's potential mental illness out the window because it's not my lived experience, but I'm also terrified I'll fuck it up and accidentally offend someone (You can partially blame my anxiety for that, augh.)
So I'm not exactly sure what to do with that? I don't wanna just refuse to represent a mental illness just because it's not my lived experience but I also don't wanna step on people's toes? (Esp since there was controversy with Zeal and ableism and I do not want to do anything ableist, even if unintentionally)
So, in essence, any input? I'm getting in my head a lot about this and I keep mulling it over in my head. I'm making sure to look up people's accounts about this because just going through a symptoms list is incredibly impersonal. The point is that, at the end of the day, someone suffering from a mental illness is still someone, and I really don't wanna fuck that up.)
#ooc#(not chucking this in the main tag)#(I still have plenty of research to do on this so)#(i don't think pAInter canonically is mentioned to have a mental illness but I did start thinking about it a lot)#(bonus points if someone who's bipolar would like to chuck their thoughts in. please do!)#chatter#(forgot about my chatter tag oopsie!!)
14 notes
·
View notes