#i do not have bipolar

[camillefrombr]

I am positive that this mood stabilizer is fucking with my head

[ryan-sometimes]

Recently I’ve been getting anons and comments doubting the validity of some of the stories I tell on here. There’s nothing I can do to convince you that the stories I tell on here are completely genuine. All I can say is that they really are. I only post the wackiest, most interesting or funny stories of my life on here. You don’t get much of the boring day to day stuff.

Truth is, I come from a very long line of crazy people. When my dad was in med school he and some friends planted a small homemade bomb in an abandoned bathroom at their university. His roommate stole a pancreas from the corpse lab and put it in a girl’s backpack. The entire med school was suspended because no one owned up to it. My uncle would sneak out at night with my grandma’s car and she’d find out because she’d check the mileage and see it’d gone up, so my uncle started driving her car backwards since that didn’t increase the mileage. He got arrested driving her car backwards on the highway to another town. My uncle would steal my grandpa’s shotgun, tell his friends to jump in the pool, and start firing it randomly at the backyard. My cousin genuinely had two weed smoking girlfriends who were also girlfriends with each other. My great uncle had an affair exposed by having his intimate photos and videos with his mistress sent to the family groupchat by people who stole his phone, all because they were salty that my aunt told them to go fuck themselves when they messaged her asking for money. My aunt took out all her life savings and moved to another state to build a bunker because she believes the apocalypse is coming, and she didn’t even take any of her children. I don’t know how to tell you this, but life is just stranger than fiction sometimes. The sample size of life stories you get on my blog are just the instances in which that’s true.

[ohnopeh]

my roman empire is whatever the heck shameless writers were on when writing ian’s lover interests after mickey’s incarceration. if they wanted us to hate him (as if) why did they make his partners so shitty to him? like caleb told ian to grow up cause ian was worried not getting the job due to his bipolar??? caleb saying ‘push past it’ like bro you are so damn privileged to think a mental illness is something you can just brush off like that, what are we taking meds for when we have our lord and saviour caleb saying it’s no big deal!

and trevor giving no shit that ian was having an episode? oh ian you seem off your meds you alright mate? no? oh okay i don’t give a fuck i tried keep it up you do you i was just your boyfriend and work as a freaking social service i surely know that ignoring the problem and getting angry at someone mentally unstable is the way to go!

they wrote all that without gallavich being endgame in mind, did they hate ian that much??? only one who never got scared to stop ian (the knife scene, the funeral, the guns) and insists he needs meds (pushing him on the wall so he wouldn’t leave, suggesting to call the cops on him so force his recovery, calming him down during hallucinations, not making him feel ashamed for them, getting him meds and so on) has always been mickey and only mickey.

they saw each others at their worst and their best and thought yeah i wanna spend the rest of my life with this person???????????

i wonder if they would have made ian end up miserable with someone who doesn’t care about his mental health if mickey didn’t come back??? god to be a fly on the wall in that writing room

[yardsards]

hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.

yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.

because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.

but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.

because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."

and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.

is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.

just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.

[t00thpasteface]

buddy of mine was talking about crazy side effects from his mood stabilizers and i said YOU'RE BIPOLAR? ME TOO! and he said HELL YEAH!! and then we did sumo stances at each other and screamed so high pitched only dogs could hear it

[thevirgodoll]

what ever happened to diaries? why did everyone stop documenting their feelings? i personally think this is how everyone ended up repressing emotions and unable to process them. a diary really keeps me sane and has always been a key part of my healing process. i can write silly goofy things without feeling judged by anyone, and without having to explain it to anyone. i can keep a record of what's been going on and reflect on it later to see if anything has changed. and, every single time, something has changed. my perspective expands. my heart swells for what i felt in the past. it's like a love letter to myself. my dreams, my goals, my heartaches, my joys, it's all there in one place. highly recommend fr.

[ink-the-artist]

random question, do you think it's possible for someone who has lost their creativity to regain it? ..asking for a friend..

im not sure what your situation is, but i believe everyone has creative potential just from being a human being and you cant just permanently lose your creativity. i struggle with losing creativity at times, usually its when I go into a depressive period. I usually just keep making art through it, ill look through old ideas I wrote down or work on commissions just stuff that doesnt require a ton of creativity but keeps me working on art. even if I dont feel good doing it just doing the work of making art helps me to eventually want to make art again

[girlcalledwhatsername]

Making my separate post because I don't want to derail the other one but yk that post that says (rightly so) that even if you aren't able to sleep just lying down and not doing anything is more restful than doing something to pass the time? That's 100% a fact, and it has helped a bunch of people myself included, i think about that often.

However. As someone who has also been told this same thing in situations where it absolutely does not apply i do want to add some caveats.

If you are unable to sleep because you are experiencing a manic/hypomanic episode, don't force yourself to lie still, your restlessness might make matters worse, it will absolutely not be restful, and it is better to find something to do that will tire you out (for eg my therapist recommended jumping jacks)

If you are unable to sleep due to a sensory issues and find yourself barreling towards a meltdown, don't just lie there hoping things will get comfortable on their own. A meltdown is not restful. You do not deserve that suffering, change what you need to till you feel at ease enough to rest (even if not sleep)

If you are unable to sleep due to severe anxiety, don't just lie there and wait out the night. If you are that tense and high strung that is not restful. If a distraction is the only thing helping you with certain obsessions or paranoia then depriving yourself of that will not help. Take a while to practice your self help techniques till you feel unwound enough to rest (even if not sleep)

If you are unable to sleep due to some kind of psychosis, likewise allow yourself to work through it till you aren't as tense or distressed by it

If you are unable to sleep due to disturbing intrusive thoughts/impulses, allow yourself to find a release and talk yourself down to calmness, especially if you find the distress intensifying when your thoughts spiral out from a lack of something else to focus on

Lying down and doing nothing even when you can't sleep is good because it is restful. If it isn't restful this will not help. Remember that only you know best what is helping you. And please if someone says that just lying down won't help them then believe them and let them solve their issues the way they feel best. Maybe there is more at play than you know

[justvibingwhilecrying]

Drew some kyles to feel something again

[pretty-little-martyr]

i feel like shit owuld be so much better if people swapped "narcissist"/"narcissistic" as insults to "self-absorbed." cause usually when theyre referring to things like 'narcissistic abuse' or 'a narcissist' they're just referring to a self-absorbed asshole, not someone with NPD. just a teeny tiny shift of language would really do wonders for people Not misunderstanding an already-stigmatized disorder.

[camillefrombr]

I am positive that this mood stabilizer is fucking with my head

[hatsunevitu]

okay so since the Cupid Ye was aired i’ve been constantly thinking about cartman’s mental condition. we know he’s probably taking medication now, so i hc him having antisocial personality disorder and bipolar disorder. and i’ve been imagining him having his depression episode for the first time after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. he’s not used to it, he has no idea what’s going on and why he suddenly feels so tired and numb all the time, so he just stays at home skipping school and avoiding social contacts. he’s scared and the “it’s all because of your illness, poopsikins!” from his mother doesn’t help at all.

and sooo i wrote a short moment about this?? i’m sorry for any mistakes because it was originally written in my native language, not in english :(

***

Ever since early childhood it was clear and obvious to everyone that Eric Cartman had problems. Not even like that, Kyle corrected himself in his thoughts. Eric Cartman had Problems. Sociopathy, sadism, aggression – all that a person could notice in Cartman after only half an hour of communication.

And Kyle wasn't too surprised when bipolar disorder was added to all of the above in a sloppy psychiatrist’s handwriting.

By the time Cartman was finally diagnosed he had already gone through several phases of mania. Kyle even did a little research on the disorder. "To know what to prepare for the next time I meet this psycho," he told Stan. "And to know how to help him if necessary," he added silently to himself.

By the age of fifteen, Stan's company was already used to Cartman's regular explosive mood swings, which were accompanied by crazy ideas, aggressive behavior, and, if absolutely unlucky, deaths of a couple or more people.

It was typical: after a short break, Cartman would burst into Kyle's room (often through the window), start showering him with business plans, startup ideas, and opportunities to have extreme fun. Kyle was silent, trying his best to ignore him and frowning irritably when Cartman smiled ecstatically and rushed to Kyle, tugging at his sleeve and almost shouting that everything would be better this time and that it’s a one hundred percent successful scheme.

For some time Broflovski genuinely believed that everyone in their friends group was going through such tortures, but after a short questioning, he found out that they had not seen Eric's mania with their own eyes. Kyle understood — and they won’t, when Cartman just chuckled at the outraged "What the fuck, Fatass?" and replied, "I guess you're just special, Kahl. They wouldn't understand." His eyes flashed especially maliciously, and Kyle looked away hastily so as not to give Cartman the opportunity to start another fight.

Well, all in all, no one's world collapsed when Cartman was diagnosed with a new mental illness. Over the past months of insane hallucinations and obsessive intrusive thoughts, he managed to make everyone sick of him. He refused to go to the therapy sessions for a long time, shouting, running away and trying to get into a fight, and Liane was too afraid to find out another unpleasant truth about her son, preferring to go with the flow and shut him up with the fulfillment of every single of his whims. Kyle doubts that anyone would have done anything to help Cartman if he hadn't intervened. Why – it was unclear to Broflovski himself, but Cartman's first depressive phase hit them both unexpectedly too hard.

Disappearing from everyone’s sight for two weeks, Cartman ignored calls and messages (although Kyle had a serious doubt that anyone other than Butters and Broflovski himself texted him) and skipped school despite Mr. Harrison's threats of expulsion.

Liane avoided answering questions, pursing her lips in frustration and talking her way out with a trivial "He's sick." Kyle didn't believe a damn second, knowing that if Cartman was sick, Kyle would have known about it the very first. Something was wrong. For some reason, the desire to find out what exactly was much stronger than it should have been when it came to Eric Cartman.

***

Perhaps Kyle really shouldn't have worried so much — not to the point of climbing into Eric's window at night. But the Cartmans hadn't opened the front door all day, and by that time Kyle's nerves were so stretched that they threatened to break if he didn't get answers to his questions in the next few minutes. Disturbing thoughts and images of possible turn of events appeared in his head. Perhaps Cartman was dead? Or, on the contrary, has killed someone and had been dissolving dismembered body of his victim for two weeks? One option was no better than the other, but nothing was even close to what he saw in Eric's bedroom.

Haggard, seven kilograms thinner, with an unhealthy skin color and bags under his eyes, he looked painfully wrong, not Cartman-like. He didn’t look exactly ill — more like lifelessly tired. But that wasn't even what hit Kyle so hard.

He did not suspect how much had been hidden in Cartman's eyes before – lively fire, hatred, anger, enthusiasm, passion – all this was gone, dissolved, buried under this empty, dead, unblinking gaze. For a second Kyle even thought (hoped?) that he was really dead, but the heaving chest under the blanket and almost inaudible sound of breathing exposed life in Cartman. He was lying on his back, his head slowly turned towards the window. Kyle sought recognition on his face, but did not see a single shade of any emotions.

He froze in the window, making eye contact with Eric, feeling like he saw something he shouldn't have. He tried to revive the old familiar hatred that usually boiled in him as soon as their eyes met, but Cartman’s emptiness totally killed all the anger. Kyle climbed through the window – Cartman didn't react in any way, lazily closing his eyes – and walked up to the bed, touching his shoulder timidly.

“Hey, Cartman?” he said, shuddering at the way his voice echoed throughout the bedroom. Cartman didn’t open his eyes but smiled hardly visibly.

“Hey, jew”. His voice was empty and emotionless and Kyle pursed his lips with a bit of a pain.

“You need to see a doctor, Cartman”, he said firmly as Eric finally opened one eye disinterestedly. “I’ll help you. I promise”.

And he did.

[ask-painter]

(Honestly I'm kinda teeter tottering on something, and it's sorta complicated since it has to do with like, a character having a mental illness.

In essence, I've seen some people mentioning that pAInter might be bipolar and I was thinking "Hey, I could actually represent that. I've never written a bipolar character before and as long as I do proper research and make sure he's humanized at the end of the day, it'd be fine." The issue really is, I am not bipolar. I am mentally ill and neurodivergent (OCD and autistic)

I did research and realized holy shit, this is some incredibly complicated stuff. I'd still have to do a ton of research in order to properly represent something like that. But I'm super nervous about flubbing it. I don't exactly want to just shove a character's potential mental illness out the window because it's not my lived experience, but I'm also terrified I'll fuck it up and accidentally offend someone (You can partially blame my anxiety for that, augh.)

So I'm not exactly sure what to do with that? I don't wanna just refuse to represent a mental illness just because it's not my lived experience but I also don't wanna step on people's toes? (Esp since there was controversy with Zeal and ableism and I do not want to do anything ableist, even if unintentionally)

So, in essence, any input? I'm getting in my head a lot about this and I keep mulling it over in my head. I'm making sure to look up people's accounts about this because just going through a symptoms list is incredibly impersonal. The point is that, at the end of the day, someone suffering from a mental illness is still someone, and I really don't wanna fuck that up.)

[cherry-waves66]

okay since my last post about The Passenger 2023 got “hype” and people wanted me write fics for it I’ve been thinking about the small town location-

One of my favorite aspects of the southern gothic sub genre is how it plays with atmosphere. The south is such a visceral experience and feeling, the small town locations, the surrounding houses and worn down grocery marts, the isolated community and the people with their tangible loneliness. Its got this sense of being cut off from the rest of the world that I myself experienced growing up in a rural town. The environment both physical and socially cultural become a character in themselves and this is very tangible throughout The Passenger 2023

But I also love how this experience extends to Benson and Randy. How it sculpts who they are as individuals and how they’ve (very differently) dealt with traumatic events. It’s in the way Randy’s coworkers don’t take his masculinity seriously, targeting him as an outlier. It’s in the way Benson has a shotgun in his trunk and a cabinet full of guns back at his house. It’s in the way Benson calls his mom ‘ma’ and how in those seven or more hours Randy and Benson circle home because they’ve never experienced anywhere else. Wouldn’t really know how to. It’s where they experienced everything bad and good in life. To leave it without a glance back? Well that’s just impossible. Especially considering where Randy and Benson are at in regards to their mental health/over all mentality. Both having not been able to move on or heal from damage caused during childhood, both having been hurt in a space meant to be safe for children.

They each carry this immense amount of guilt for very different reasons and rural town America knows how to nourish shame like none else.

[decayayhagfishh]

I nearly got ran over today ( sorry, I kinda have to go out of my way to show everyone how big of a Sousuke / Mitsuba kinnie I am. )

I m8 dis gif,,, Feel free 2 use..,,…⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

[lususnatura]

▲

needless to say, whenever harley came over to blamore's greenhouse that day, things really weren't going that well for him. the last week or so had gone by in a complete haze for him. and it had all but forgotten that it had obligations to fulfill today. one of these actually was a meeting he'd set up with harley, which he seemed really excited about a few weeks ago whenever they originally planned it. but something had happened since then that drove blamore to the point where he physically felt like he was unable to get out of bed... along with it vastly neglecting the health of its own plants, as well as just itself in general.

some of the creature's plants were starving for water to the point where they'd become wilted in fact. plus, blamore's own body besides that had been plagued with hunger pangs that only got worse as time went on. though he was seemingly so depressed at the time that neither of these things mattered to him. now, in response to the sound of a gentle 'pitter-patter' of steps heading his way, blamore stirred for the first time in a little while. its eyes opened as its tail lethargically swept over the sheets it laid on to this 'intruder' and tried to lift itself up; but failed as a result of its lack of energy.

blamore then thought about making the thorns inside of his legs surface, but stopped as soon as he felt himself being pulled into this person's lap. a barely audible hum left its lips as bleary eyes partially focused on harley's face, ❝ mm, what? what are you doing here? ❞ blamore could hardly keep his eyes open as all he'd been doing lately after he'd ran out of tears was sleep. its breath hitched as its head lolled to the side to rest against harley's shoulder. ❝ god's... you're so warm. i'm sorry, can i just — ❞ blamore let out a mix between a chuckle and a sob. ❝ can we just stay like this for a little while? ❞