#i do not actually have any particular desire to see him live. i mean it would be good maybe but the other clientele…

[tomatoluvr69]

Keep getting emails that Bruce Springsteen is coming to [hometown]* which is of little interest bc I don’t live there currently but then I remembered I have a fucking allegheny county jury summons for the exact same day which would be the fucking weirdest double header impetus for a trip home lol

*ok I just redacted this even though I doxx my hometown every single day on this blog lol**

**ok I just saw that I left the county in. Oh well. If u feel like expending the effort to google it u deserve to know my erstwhile residence and loml

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

[ironunderstands]

Dr. Ratios predictions, theories and ideas I have for his lore BECAUSE SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM AAAAAAA

‼️INCLUDES DISCUSSION OF LEAKS SO BE WARNED‼️

So, I’m sure if you like Dr. Ratio even a little bit or have kept up with what leakers are doing, you have heard of a little something.

That little something being our new planet in coming in 3.0 is Ancient Greece inspired 

Oh boy.

And oh it gets better, thanks Sparkle for playing genderbend Ratio during Cosmoddesy because 

Yup, this is his planet.

I’m well aware it will be like 7 months before we start getting proper leaks about this place, but for now, let’s do some speculation shall we, because if there’s anywhere we are gonna get his backstory/lore/a story centered around him, it will be here.

So let’s begin 

Whatever the hell I think is gonna happen during 3.0

A) He will serve as a guide for the Astral Express in navigating this planet 

I don’t think he will immediately go to them to help, or they will immediately seek out him, but rather coincidentally or through the connivence of circumstance he will end up helping lead us around, at least partially until we really get roped into a conflict.

Or, it’s the other way around, where we kinda are left to our own devices a bit and then something happens and either by his own decision or something that’s forced upon him, Dr. Ratio now has to supervise from now on.

Personally I find the second option way more interesting and I think it has way more potential for angst so I’m going with that one let Ratio be dragged around by a malicious entity or his own experiences I’m so here for it. 

B) Something happens.

Wow, descriptive. 

Ok, what I really mean is that something bad happens like a prophecy comes true or the express breaks something or a stellaron comes to eat people’s grandmas and Ratio is implicated in it. 

And this is where the fun begins, as the nature of what this something is can completely shift the story in very interesting ways.

Perhaps he was prophesied to doom Amphoreous’s civilization with his presence or something, and was abandoned by his parents on another planet?

Perhaps he has connections to the leaders there who desired for him to be their puppet/tool, so he left to find his own path and now they are trying to force him back.

Perhaps he failed at a test of theirs when he was younger, some universal trait on the planet that he couldn’t live up to and was exiled because of it. Now that he’s back, they blame whatever bad thing happens on Ratio. 

I actually really like these particular theories as Ratio has a lot of themes about creating your own destiny, so seeing him resist one forced upon him would be compelling. Moreover, I feel as though an arc demonstrating how exactly he wanted to become a Genius/where he got all his insecurities and motivations from is not only necessary for his character but would flesh out the way we see the path of Erudition in general, even if I already really like the way they have gone with it so far. 

C) Resolution/Self acceptance 

I doubt they will permanently kill him, it just doesn’t suit his character at all.

However, do I think is he gonna get messed up by whatever that “something” is? Yes. 

If the story centers on this remains to be seen, honestly, I doubt it will considering we have the entire cast of the planet and its own lore to meet and learn about, but I do think Ratio will be a major player and I hope how he feels gets some of the plot’s focus as we have quite literally only have 1 full scene of him where we see who he truly is, and it’s all the way back in 1.6 (Ratio-Screwllum conversation my Roman Empire). 

Like guys I needed this man bleeding out screaming dying crying throwing up clutching his wounds looking up at the screen like a kicked puppy losing all hope in himself and others YESTERDAY 

I NEED SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO HIM FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BECAUSE RATIO IS SO HIGH STRUNG THAT ANY AMOUNT OF PRESSURE WILL CAUSE HIM TO SNAP SO PLEASE HOYO LET HIM BREAK!!!

He needs another scene where he’s being sincere, he needs a scene where he’s being vulnerable, Ratio’s marble facade needs to crumble to reveal the man underneath and I need that man to pick himself back up again knowing he can allow himself to be human as well AAAAAAAAAA

His connections to Acheron 

If you have seen my other posts I have already talked about this at length, however the brainrot for this particular detail is all consuming so let me just demonstrate:

Dr. Ratio has the same philosophy as Acheron, an emanator of Nihility.

Look.

Essentially, they both believe that only in desperate situations will humans reach their full potential and begin to truly live for themselves. Moreover, they also both try and offer the tools to help people save themselves, Ratio with knowledge and Acheron with destroying the dreamscape, and that even if people can only become their true selves through struggle, it is the guidance and love of other people that will allow them to pick themselves up. 

Interestingly, pre-2.2 I also believed Ratio was walking the path of Nihility, due to how he engages with knowledge. That very viewpoint spawned from the 1.6 conversation I just showed you, as Ratio demonstrates to the audience that he does not care about knowledge in of itself, but rather the value it can bring to people.

Now, this sets him apart from the Genius Society members, who believe knowledge is inherently valuable and that it is what brings the universe meaning to them. Every person Nous has acknowledged has expressed this belief, which is why they were acknowledged and Ratio isn’t.

Before you say it, no, it’s not that he isn’t smart enough, quite the opposite actually.

Screwllum himself acknowledges his genius and time and time again are Ratios myriad of accomplishments brought up. In universe plenty of people believe he should have been instated into the society by now as well:

These are just the ones that implicate the society directly, as so many of Ratio’s character stories also mention just how accomplished he is.

Moreover, in 2.3 we are getting a new Sim Uni update made by Ratio himself, centered on humanity because of course it is, therefore he’s even smart enough to do the same things the GS members do, even collaborating with Screwllum to work on their favorite pet project.

So, what does this have to do with his lack of acknowledgment, and the path of Nihility?

I have established Ratio is smart enough and that he doesn’t view knowledge in the same way the other member’s do. Therefore, this difference in mindset is why Nous has never acknowledged him, because as much as Ratio thinks he is walking the path of Erudition, his personal philosophy and behaviors have never aligned with that, even if he thinks they do.

I mean, the man says it himself, even if he doesn’t realize the implications of it:

“The Path of Erudition has neither reason nor logic. While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can’t even trace their footsteps.”

That is the path the Genius Society members walk, the path Ratio is criticizing in this sentence, the path he refuses to travel along himself, because what defines Ratio is that he will never leave the ordinary behind to stumble alone.

That is the path of Erudition.

And Veritas Ratio does not follow it. 

So what does he believe in?

Finding your own path. Forging your own future, in the face of a meaningless universe, that is the only thing we should do, the only thing we CAN do. 

“even a life marked by failure is a life worth living”

That’s what Ratio believes.

It doesn’t matter if the masses cannot escape their mediocrity, if they will never be geniuses, if their efforts will go unacknowledged, because the universe doesn’t care, therefore they shouldn’t either. There is no grand test, no final destination, no perfect goal people must attain.

Destiny is uncertain, and people’s fates are theirs to choose. 

Dr. Ratio believes people can still improve themselves, and that it doesn’t matter if people cannot reach the ceiling of knowledge, as they should still push themselves off the floor and stand up. 

He doesn’t think anything confines people from bettering themselves, and that it’s pointless to deliberate over whether one can achieve perfection or not, they should strive to improve themselves regardless and live their best lives because why not? Sure there’s nothing saying they can, but there’s also nothing saying they can’t, and in the face of a meaningless universe, devoid of purpose, one must create their own, and he dedicates his life to aiding others in realizing this.

Ironically, Ratio does not take his own advice. He can recognize the merits of the masses, but he cannot appreciate his own. Ratio is forever walking forward, but he cannot see the path ahead of him, or appreciate the lengths he has gone, the distance he has traveled, and the lives he has improved. 

Ratio spreads knowledge across the universe, believing that is what Nous desires, what the Erudition means, or rather should be, which is partly why he views himself as mundane, as a failure. 

Not just because he is as ordinary as any other person, but because Ratio thinks he hasn’t succeeded in his goal without Nous’s acknowledgement. I think he believes that he hasn’t done enough, that he isn’t smart enough, that he will never be good enough, therefore no matter what has happened, Ratio is doomed do be as mundane as everyone else, and his accomplishments will never be worth the gaze of the entity who inspired him to help others in the first place, as that’s what Ratio believes they would want.

However, helping others is not something Nous cares about, it’s something Dr. Ratio cares about. Even if he doesn’t understand or acknowledge it, Ratio’s accomplishments are meaningful, and he has walked his path further than most ever have. 

However, that path just isn’t the path of Erudition, it’s the path of Existence. 

Initially I believed it to be the Nihility, and in a way I’m not wrong, considering one must cross underneath the shadow of the Nihility to find the Existence, so in a way he is still approaching them.

However, as always, Acheron clarifies everything.

The Nihility envelops all, therefore it is meaningless. And before our final ending, our predetermined destiny (death), we have so many choices to make, therefore we should make them, as it makes both our life and death develop a completely different meaning.

As I have stated, this is what Ratio believes in, even if he attributes it to the Erudition, rather than the Nihility.

Ratio’s entire goal in life is to help others bring meaning to their lives and guide them in the right direction so they can begin to choose for themselves, using knowledge as his means to do so.

Which is exactly what Acheron does, “on the still waters of oblivion, I guide the wandering souls,” isn’t just a line she says because it sounds cool, rather, that is her goal as well. An emanator of Nihility, whose goal is to help others find their meaning in the universe. 

But Acheron doesn’t just want that. She is looking for the Existence, and to kill the Nihility (meaningless) forever.

Which is significant, because if Ratio believes the same exact thing she does, and is walking the same path as she is, then like Acheron, he is heading towards the Existence, not the Erudition.

And Nous will never acknowledge him, not because he isn’t smart enough, but because he never followed them to begin with.

In fact, we know what Ratio is, or rather, what he might end up becoming.

So far no Doctors of Chaos have succeeded in their goals, but perhaps Dr. Ratio, Dr VERITAS Ratio, will be the one to do so. After all, who else could it be but him?

How fitting that the man named after truth would be the one to find it.

That fuckass owl 

Glaux I want to throw you into a blender 

This is Professor Glaux, one of the figures from the Hanunue-Clockie Era of Penacony who did some things like bring the stellaron there, was a scholar of the Intellgenica Guild, became the first dreamweaver, inspired the paper birds, did some shit with the Nightingale Family and presumably died.

I know, horrible explanation, especially considering I haven’t even done the quest this guy is from, but hopefully that’s all the information you need for now so I can introduce you to this theory (which I did not create, sadly I don’t remember who did but it was someone on twitter somewhere so shoutout to them)

That being… Dr. Ratio is Glaux

I hate it I’m sorry. But I will attempt to explain where it’s coming from.

A) Glaux has very similar references to Ratio, aka they are both associated with Greek culture, wisdom and owls 

Glaux is the Greek word for owl and they are heavily associated with Athena, the god of wisdom.

Now Ratio has extremely obvious owl, Greek and wisdom association if you have looked at him for any longer than 2 seconds so I’m not gonna bother to demonstrate it, they have similar references, moving on.

B) The Intelligencia Guild + their titles 

They are from the same faction, and both are referred to as Professors (ratio gets called that more in the CN version I think), and at least Ratio dedicates his time to spreading knowledge, which I think is something Glaux shared.  

C) This occurrence in Gold and Gears

You know, the one where a student kills themself because Ratio thinks they are an idiot.

Well, it’s complicated because apparently the story told in Gold in Gears takes place a long time ago?? 

How long I don’t know as my brain melted in my skull when trying to piece it together, so please do correct me if I’m wrong, I’ll try to make sense of it later.

Moreover, this is also complicated by the fact that this particular occurrence was used by Herta to teach the trailblazer some mechanics of the sim uni, which makes me thing it’s not a part of the lore/timeline in it in general, and just something funny she added in anyways. Continually, there are also occurrences from characters like Argenti and of the Genius Society members themselves, so I don’t think every event is set in the distant past.

However, I think this idea comes from the other person in that occurrence, Dr. No5, but he also kills himself in it, and I can’t find anymore information on it, so I doubt it. (also apparently in the Chinese version the Ratio they refer to isn’t in the way they refer to Dr. Ratio/the one we know so idk)

Either way, what this means is that if this occurrence did take place a while ago, then Ratio must be super fucking old and he must have been part of the Intellegencia Guild during that time, like a certain owl aka Glaux, who was part of it.

D) Ratio’s weird origins

By weird origins I mean we know jack shit about his past (although we finally know the planet he’s from!) and for all we know the man could have spawned in one day, with some other theories even coming to that conclusion, like the infamous worm theory.

Essentially, if you put this all together, Ratio was once an owl-humanoid named Glaux who was from the Amphoreous, and then became part of the Intelligencia Guild a while back, which is when that occurrence happened. He then went to Penacony, did some stuff, faked his death and like came back as Dr. Ratio on that planet again, which is why we don’t know anything about his origins.

Can you tell why I hate this theory as a concept.

I find it to be dumb, nonsensical, a waste of potential and just straight up random as hell. However it is also objectively valid and could have happened within the plot of the game which is why I hate it so much because please hoyoverse do not go in this direction I will skin you.

However, I do not think Ratio has nothing to do with Glaux.

Rather,

A) The stuff Glaux did on Penacony is meant to parallel how Ratio acted there, as both served as a guiding figure for people on their respective timelines 

B) Ratio is the same species as Glaux/ they are from the same planet (Amphoreous).

Now this I fuck with heavily. Yes, Glaux is way more owl looking than Ratio is, however more human versions of his species could exist, and Ratio could just have the ability to like shift forms or something.

He also looks extremely similar to the owls on Ratios design, which I now deem it appropriate to show to you the metric fuck ton of owls in Ratios design.

(there’s a few more btw I just couldn’t fit them due to the image limit LMAOO)

Why do you have so many, and why is it the same fucking owl, same culture, same goddess referenced, same symbolism???? 

Like even if I hate the 1 : 1 Glaux-Ratio theory, they are clearly connected, and this is no accident on behalf of the developers. 

Therefore, I would keep an eye out for Glaux mentions in the future, especially on the planet coming in 3.0, as I 100% believe that they are from the same planet. There’s no way they can’t be connected in some manner, and if I am right about this I will be annoying about it for the rest of time. 

I can’t believe owl Ratio might actually be a reality. 

So uh, let’s put this all together.

We go to Ratio’s planet in 3.0, problems happen and we learn both his past and his connections to that owl species Glaux is from which likely causes even more problems. Bbg probably gets his ass handed to him in 3.0 and 3.1 and gets to make up for it in 3.2, ending the arc off more fulfilled as a person, and perhaps making some realizations about himself including that he isn’t actually following the path of Erudition. Then we skip all the way to endgame when the trailblazers are fighting Nanook and him and Acheron come in with the steel chair hopped up on Existence juice to give the trailblazer enough of a will to live as to not succumb to the Nihility because oh my god how can you defeat the embodiment of Destruction. We somehow win and Dr. Ratio gets married to Aventurine and they ride off into the sunset roll credits we all cheered. 

So, yeah.

If I’m even a little bit right about this I will be the most insufferable person on this planet. Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading this, and even if these theories don’t end up being true I do still think the speculation gives a lot of insight into his character.

[666writingcafe]

Feeling a Bit Tense?

A (Mildly NSFW) Text Conversation Between Barbatos and MC

Barbatos: *waving emoji*

MC: *gif of someone waving tiredly*

Barbatos: Rough day?

MC: *gif of someone shrugging*

Barbatos: Do you need or want to talk about it?

MC: Should I?

Barbatos: If it will make you feel better, yes.

MC: *keeps typing and erasing messages*

Barbatos: Does this have anything to do with Solomon? If he's been messing with you, I'll be more than happy to talk to him for you.

MC: No need.

Barbatos: Do you genuinely feel that way, or are you just trying to get me to back off?

MC: Regarding this particular issue, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Barbatos: Okay.

Barbatos: So, what sort of "issue" are you dealing with?

MC: I'm not sure how to put it delicately.

Barbatos: Don't worry about sounding prim and proper. Just tell me what's on your mind.

MC: Here goes nothing...

MC: I'd like to get laid.

Barbatos: I see.

Barbatos: And you're worried about doing it with someone from this timeline, aren't you?

MC: I mean...wouldn't that cause a paradox?

Barbatos: Isn't it a bit late for you to start worrying about paradoxes, considering that three of us know your true identity?

MC: You, Diavolo, and/or Thirteen would have figured it out one way or another. We just figured it would be easier to be open about it with you guys than risk ending up dead or in prison.

Barbatos: Fair point.

Barbatos: Anyway, as long as you don't produce something that's not there in your timeline, you should be good to proceed.

MC: Except I don't trust many people here.

Barbatos: Understandable. I feel the same way.

MC: This is probably a pointless question, but have any advice?

Barbatos: I would say take care of it yourself, but that's not going to help much, is it?

MC: I mean, it's taken the edge off, but nothing I use is going to be quite the same as having another living, breathing person with me.

Barbatos: So you're looking for a physical connection.

MC: Kind of?

Barbatos: My next piece of advice would be to arrange a meeting with an escort, but as you've already stated, you're rather wary of most people here, and personally I don't like dealing with them. They ask for WAY too much when they realize that they're servicing the Young Master, and that doesn't just apply to money.

MC: *whistling crow sticker*

Barbatos: Maybe ask one of the brothers?

MC: *no sticker*

MC: We're not NEARLY that close for me to successfully get away with that.

Barbatos: Is there anyone else who lives here that you had some sort of a relationship with in your timeline?

MC: Yes, but they're out of the question.

Barbatos: Not necessarily.

MC: Trust me.

Barbatos: They're members of royalty, aren't they?

MC: *eyes emoji*

Barbatos: Interesting.

MC: Good or bad?

Barbatos: Not bad. Actually mildly impressed.

MC: Thanks?

Barbatos: So...

MC: *questioning sticker*

Barbatos: If you will allow me to be blunt for a moment, how would you like me to fuck you?

MC: *gif of someone spitting out water*

Barbatos: Simply being practical.

Barbatos: I'm not sending you back to Solomon.

Barbatos: The prince is too busy to help with this, sadly.

Barbatos: And I don't trust any of the other royals to not harm you. I want you to be able to return to your timeline in one piece.

Barbatos: Unless you don't trust me?

MC: It's not that.

Barbatos: Then what is it?

MC: In my timeline, I was your first.

Barbatos: Then that's perfect. We'll still keep that part of it accurate. It'd just happen sooner, which isn't a super big deal.

MC: If I didn't know better, I'd think this was your intention all along.

Barbatos: What, to get in bed with you?

MC: *nodding sticker*

Barbatos: I'd be lying if I told you that hasn't crossed my mind once or twice during your stay here so far.

MC: *gif of someone saying 'i knew it'*

Barbatos: What can I say? Like it or not, I'm a creature of desire.

Barbatos: Also...

Barbatos: Your scent has given you away a couple of times, so I figured that I'd had a fair shot if I ever DID want to indulge.

MC: *blushing emoji*

Barbatos: We'll talk more when you return to the castle.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[smilesatdawnmain]

Would it be possible for some of the other Shadowpeach kids end up in the tragedy of the six au?

Would they ever try to have kids again after all the bad stuff that happened since now the mountain is way more protected so no one could take their new cub(s) away from them or are they too traumatized/busy to do it?

I think I remember something about Rumble and Savage being in it at some point, so how do they get created, and with Wukong being the way he is, how do they get out of FFM?

How would MK and Xiaohua feel that their parents essentially moved on and replaced them with other kids, from their perspective once they find out who their parents are.

It's a lot of questions sorry but I was looking through your art again cause it's pretty and had the thought of the kids like Qi Xue, Qi Sying and Qi Bao being in the Angsty mess that is tragedy of the six au

Have a good day/night!

At this point, they do have two more children. Rumble and Savage. Similar to the Big family Au, ShadowPeach wanted a big family, but, as things are, it is too painful to even imagine that.

Rumble and Savage come as a bit of a surprise to both of them.

Well... a surprise to Wukong, anyway. Macaque, not as much- as it was almost intentional. His mental state was not quite stable at the time, but he doesn't regret what he did either.

As he created these two through a more magical-based means than through live birth or through a carving of a stone egg. To ensure they were stable, he used some of Wukong's magic...

As how Macaque got it... well...

There is a reason there is a Mature rating to this particular fanfic.

After seeing so many other monkey's with their own young, day after day, and longing for the ones he lost- the whispers of his head got the best of him. And then he would see Wukong- a man he hardly recognizes anymore, a man he feel so much guilt over, who is now a cold and brutal dictator to the world outside...

Yet who is still so gentle and sweet to the cubs of the mountain....

He had pulled his mate to bed that night, surprising the King with his affectionate manner, knowing how much Wukong longed for him. How easily he could manipulate that...

and Wukong was certainly desperate for any semblance of his Moon... and very unsuspecting of Mihou's real intention.

Not long later, Mihou appears in front of the King with two little cubs swirling with their collective energy.

——/-

Edit; As for your last question, no, MK and Xiaohua wouldn’t feel betrayed. They would actually love siblings :)

And rumble and savage, well, they are little when they first meet MK and Xiaohua. So they don’t really have any big desire to leave their home at the time of the reunion.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

BSD Dead Apple manga highlights!!

Kunikida is insane. "Oh yeah getting shot in the gut is no big deal dwai" and then he proceeds to run around and fight both his own Ability and Demon Snow after this. Jesus.

Kunikida's so resourceful tbh. I love watching him fight. Akutagawa's later fight with Rashoumon (where he demonstrates similar resourcefulness using the molten metal) is also cool for the same reason, because like it's one thing to be TOLD these characters are cool under pressure and smart as long as Dazai's not there to piss them off and a whole other to be shown it.

SO THIS CONFIRMS MY THEORY. I need a fight scene where Yosano detaches her limbs and uses them as weapons after she heals them omg she's so fucking badass. Side note the fact that Kenji and Yosano held up so long against their Abilities is so impressive? Like all of them are ofc but Undefeated and Thou Shalt Not Die are both like, extremely powerful. Your fighting a power that rearranged a mountain and a power that basically can't be killed. Like damn.

Lmfao Akutagawa's main priority is watching their Abilities fight each other

D A S H

I love how casually he says this lmfaoo Also LMAO AKUTAGAWA DO U HAVE SOME UNRESOLVED FEELINGS TOWARDS DAZAI OR SOMETHING?? HMM??

Confirmation Dazai fucking hates both of them. He was probably tearing his hair out internally this whole time. Literally him going "friendless behavior" at Shibusawa lmao- ALSO THE 'MEOW EXCHANGE. HE ACTUALLY MEOWED. THIS IS SO FUCKING DRY LMFAO.

Akutagawa's monologue is conveyed in a really cool way via manga adaptation... like DA has some great development for Akutagawa, Kyouka and Atsushi, but Akutagawa's in particular stands out to me because it doesn't really disprove his strength-based worldview?? He finds his own self worth through that view instead which is interesting, by overpowering his Ability instead of finding somewhere he's valued beyond it like say, Yosano.

This is also SUCH an interesting panel. "That I control Demon Snow/That I didn't want to hate her" it's like Atsushi has previously only seen Kyouka as a victim, as being controlled against her will and never wanting any of the violence she partook in when this kinda... confirms it's not all the case? DA as a whole kinda tries to break Atsushi's black and white worldview but I also think, between this and how well Akutagawa and Kyouka work together in DA, there was likely a part of Kyouka who knew she was good at killing and violence, and liked that about herself, if nothing else. The ability to not be completely helpless, even if her circumstances as a whole were not within her control.

"Are you fucking serious" he is SO DONE with Dazai's shit lmfao.

Soukoku are fucking insane. What do you MEAN you noticed Dazai's hidden message from a mention of a microscope. What do you mean you remember all your interactions with him that clearly. What do you mean-

Ohh my fucking god is that a tear in the last panel?? Oh my god did Chuuya mean he just doesn't want Dazai to stop him in Corruption. Chuuya cannot catch a fucking BREAK oh my god.

So Ango is also suicidal right?? Like sure he has a reason for saying this but also this is not a normal thing to say. He uses Chuuya's vow to kill him to try and stop Chuuya from what he sees as a suicidal mission later. Like this is not normal.

"Dazai doesn't care about the ADA!" shut the fuck up

Oh my god. This was so fucked up oh my god. Poor baby Atsushi oh my god.

The repetition of "I raised by claws" is SO chilling here omg. But I also find it so so interesting that I think Atsushi is... the only BSD character who just... wants to live. Not for other people, he definitely doesn't want to die. Like so many characters in BSD (Dazai, Yosano, Chuuya, Kunikida, Kyouka, Ango, arguably Akutagawa) are in some manner suicidal, or even the ones who aren't have reasons they life for. But Atsushi's base desire is just... he wants to live. That's where his Ability comes from. It's why he killed Shibusawa. It's so interesting.

So there are two sides to Fyodor's Ability. But he CALLS HIMSELF crime in this case?? Bc the Crime avatar is wearing what Fyodor was wearing. I've seen theories Fyodor himself is just the manifestation of his own Ability or something and tbh... that might have merit.

Tbh, I often wonder how Ango ended up working with the government. It's repeatedly mentioned how he dislikes and opposes their use of human lives as value metrics, or plans like this for the 'greater good', and yet he still does their bidding. He's still here. Even though no one listens to his oppositions. Why?

Anyway so if anyone has manga translations past Ch 13 please help I can't find any lol.

[crooked-wasteland]

How do you feel about Charlie as a character?

When someone brings up Charlie to me, three scenes immediately come to mind:

Charlie whining that being direct and using her status and responsibility to influence change is "mean".

When she's frantically panicking over how the hotel is not "working", but instead of actually specifying the events in the series that brought the cast together, she only mentions the things she herself suggested, despite her own ideas having been useless at best and actively detrimental to the people in her care at worst.

When she vents to Alastor about Vaggie not telling Charlie about being an angel, she doesn't once look at the situation from Vaggie's perspective of being no different than any other sinner, she demands to know what about her is untrustworthy. Entirely self absorbed.

Medrano has stated that she sees both Vaggie and Charlie as self-insert characters. Putting aside the Freudian self-cest implications, I feel that Medrano's self righteousness and superficial idea of kindness are on full display in Charlie's character. As a person, Charlie is insufferable. She inserts herself in ways people ask her not to, she has a surface level form of empathy, and she exists in a world where her intention supercedes the consequences of her actions. She is nothing but kind and understanding to everyone around her, a perpetual victim of people snubbing her, but she perseveres nonetheless.

Charlie's line in particular about Vaggie encouraging her to take control of a situation being "mean" is clearly how Medrano hand waves her own responsibility to the overall culture of her fandom. To try and regulate anything would be her being "mean", when in reality it is a way of not taking responsibility for the consequences of her own behavior and encouraging the hostility within the fandom.

Furthermore, the fact that both Charlie and Vaggie are two qualities of a single person explains why neither of them have any nuance. It's why Charlie wants to "help" the Sinners in Hell despite them generally accepting and being content with their lives, revelling in their "sins". It's why Charlie's skit for Angel and Pentious has dogmatic language about the "right" way to live one's life. And it's why Vaggie is never explored as being an exterminator who once was so successful as an executioner that she was considered the best of the best, and yet when faced with a black and white ethical concept of killing a child, she immediately has a change of heart.

There is no internal conflict or nuance for either of these characters because, ultimately, both are self righteous caricatures of the director who is broadcasting how much of a "good" person she thinks she is. That she knows what is best for everyone because she just wants to help, regardless of anyone else's desires or situations.

Small edit to point out this is a theme in her works. It directly parallels Blitz in Truth Seekers telling Moxxie that he is "hard" on him because he knows that Moxxie can be "better". And instead of just talking to Moxxie or encouraging him to keep growing, he instead uses manipulation and abuse to "persuade" Moxxie to change. Just like how Charlie imposes her own desires on others and then just keeps "suggesting" that they change. Because, really, Charlie and Blitz know what's the best for everyone around them.

It's why I am vehemently opposed to the idea that anything about Hazbin Hotel is a criticism of Christianity. Because in the end, Charlie is an evangelist spreading her teachings and Good Word to the sinners to save their souls, whether they like it or not.

It's not hard to see how Medrano sees herself in these qualities, and the passive aggressive self righteousness is thinly veiled under a smile and "good intentions".

[jiminsass-istant]

SMERALDO GARDEN MARCHING BAND : NOT JUST A FUN SONG

One thing you can expect before listening to any Jimin song for the first time is that NO TWO SONGS WILL EVER BE THE SAME.

Naturally I had too many questions when I watched the SGMB Track video!

Face was about inner reflection and tragedy, while MUSE is apparently about Jimin's artistic inspiration. Since the entire Muse album is not out yet, I kept wondering how SGMB fit into the 'artistic inspiration' concept. What do we learn about Jimin in SGMB? But most importantly, who is Jimin's muse?

********************************************************************

To answer, let's look at Jimin's intents. I divided them into 2 parts:

"Tell things we/he couldn't before"

A recurring thing we have seen in chapter 2 Jimin is his desire to "tell everything he couldn't before", and this started right from 2022 Festa dinner:

True to his words, he started being more honest and telling us his story in Face. That's how we knew he had already started expressing more truth than he ever had before. Not only that, in the BTS documentary, Jimin even opened up about his depression while dining with JK.

But was that ALL he had to say? NO! Because he says this in Closer Than this which was released in dec 2023 ->

Since CTT is clearly a fan song, he is addressing fans here when he says that he wants to reveal everything to his fans. Going by the bangtan lore, I think we can safely conclude that here 'spring day' for bts refers to the day they are reunited with their fans again (2025), that is - post military. Meaning, Jimin will keep revealing things through his music well after MS is over.

A wonderful army pointed out that the english lyrics of SGMB are not entirely correct. The line "I'll tell you everything now" should actually be "i'll reveal everything on your behalf", which brings us to Jimin's second intent-

2) "The truth untold"

The BTS unit song TTU speaks about how the protagonist is unable to confess their feelings to their love because they consider themselves ugly and unworthy (due to lack of self-love).

In the first teaser for Muse, Jimin found the music sheet for The Truth Untold inside the purple lockers. And then he releases SGMB which is basically the positive (and happy future) version of TTU.

The twitter thread i referred to previously explains this very well and all of you should read it:

Let's now look at some of my personal observations in the MV before i put on my delulu cape.

Jimin's showmanship:

Jimin is basically a host, a presenter, cupid, and the lead of Smeraldo Garden marching band. It's like he entered the Smeraldo garden of thorns and despair along with his band to help the protagonist reveal their true feelings to their loved one. The garden is now lively with all positive elements- dance, kids, butterflies, bubbles, confetti. It showcases Jimin's change in attitude and how he has truly begun to love himself. That's why when Jimin says :

" Ooh, I love you babe I'll come closer to you I love you, babe (Yes, sir) Ooh, I want you, babe I wanna hold your hand I want you, babe"

He's saying this on behalf of the protagonist. That's what Smeraldo Garden Marching Band does- it helps people in despair, helps them to express love.

2) Jimin is NOT homophobic!

People really used the scene of Jimin separating the sapphic couple as him being anti-gay. Let me show you the scenes where Jimin took the flower from a guy. Look at the guy's stance, look at the lyrics. The correct translation for the lyrics in the image is " the truth untold". He is indeed referring to a hidden truth in this particular scene, 'hidden' being the keyword here, which i'm sure the lgbtq+ community is more than familiar with.

To realize the importance of this scene, just go to any reactor and see their face when they see Jimin accepting a flower from a man. They hold their breath only to release it when they see him playing matchmaker to hetero couples. Don't you just love Jimin's brain? lol.

Let's look at the 2nd scene of Jimin giving a flower to another man-

Again, Jimin is bowing down this time, while the adlibs go "just for you". Jimin is not just being a 'wingman' here as some might think- a wingman doesn't 'present' flowers like this. He is subtle and this is him recognizing all sorts of relationships.

3) The sunflowers face the viewer, not Jimin or his band. The sunflowers face the...SUN. I think I am starting to wear the delulu cape here (yes i mean cape and not cap). We all know from Jimin's innumerable moon references that he associates himself with the moon, not the sun. The sun tattoo haver has always been the sun from the sun-and-moon duo. Just like the moon tattoo haver is the moon of the duo.

So this whole time Jimin has been talking to the protagonist of TTU- is it Jungk-

NO NO WAIT! Didn't Jimin just sing -

"Since we're together now"..together as in...

("Yes Sir!")🤷‍♀️

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we clarify last time that being 'together' means 'dating' in Korean, as in most other languages of this world?! Ahem.

Look like someone is getting 'serenaded' as in 'serenade' version of Muse.

*sighs very loudly*

Disclaimer: Just because i made a jikook interpretation of the song doesn't mean i don't recognize and agree with non-shipping interpretations. *sigh*

Anyway, there is another interpretation of SGMB by andy-wm. I really loved the pantomime comparison:

And another by jimin-bangtan:

Trust that if Jikook make 'yes sir' jokes in the travel series, I'm gonna lose it. Just a little bit.

I cannot wait for the rest of the album! These are all love songs. We are getting happy-sappy Jimin you all ! The Jimin who went through so many struggles is finally loving himself and has learnt to be happy with his loved ones.

[dreamwreaver]

I really hate the Hellaverse fandom for having this absurd idea that only gay/explicitly queer men can act feminine. I thought we left this mentality ages ago? So what if Alastor acts fruity? Doesn't immediately mean he only exclusively wants men. Funny how they love making this man the bottom b*tch when it comes to a lot of depictions of him in a gay ship (which is wildly out of character for a control freak misandrist by the way) not saying you can't depict him like that, I'm just pointing out you're showing alastor OOC and proceeding to dictate other people's ways of handling his character. "No! You can't ship him with Charlie!! He's manipulating her!!" Uh, duh. That's the point, it's his entire character, it's not like we didn't know he was using her for his own means, we didn't forget. Besides, the fact you said Alastor is manipulating Charlie and you ship Radio*pple makes it extremely wierd that you're letting Lucifer get with the man who's manipulating his daughter and made the famous manipulating scumbag her father figure, and also cursed Charlastor for shipping a manipulative man with his "victim" in the same breath. Again, not saying you can't ship it, Im pointing out the hypocrisy.

Let people ship two consenting fictional adult demons in peace, is it really hard to do?

Apparently dear nonnie, it really is that hard. Because despite their cries to "tear down the gender binary" and "you don't have to be this type of person to enjoy this type of activity it's for everyone!" They're real fucking quick to not only ascribe Alastor's personality as "fruity" (which... I mean I disagree he just isn't a fucking asshole to women) and assume that because of that he MUST like men. Yeah, real progressive thinking there. Like, leave off the fact that Lucifer looks down on sinners the same as most angels do; leave off the fact that it's really misogynistic to fob off the main FEMALE protagonist because you want your "toxic old man yaoi" to be front and center, leave off the fact that Alastor has a particular disdain for bad fathers and is well aware of Charlie's daddy issues, and also the fact that they're making the mixed race (and spoilers for next season but) VISIBLY black as a human man the bottom for a white guy. Let's just forget all of that for a second and focus on the manipulation thing for a second.

Alastor has never made any bones about why he's there, at least in relation to Charlie's goals. He flat out doesn't believe in redemption, and to be fair his assumptions are grounded in a very logical stance that the chance given was the life lived before and where you end up is deserved. So why is he actually there? Well that's a little harder to say. Some speculated he was under Lilith's thumb and was sent there to watch over her. I mean I never really believed that personally because it seems very obvious he ~~fell in love at first sight~~ first really saw her as an opportunity when watching her interview. Now it seems he might see Charlie as a way to break the shackles of his deal to regain control over his own soul again. Whatever his motives, it isn't altruism. Except here's one important thing;

CHARLIE ALREADY KNOWS THIS

As much as people like to rag on the pilot it establishes one super important thing. As naive and optimistic as Charlie can be she is well aware of what kind of person she is surrounded by and knows how to navigate the more political side of hell. She sidesteps Al's original attempt to make a deal for his help, and while she is very awkward about it he accepts. Let's look at what she says,

"As Princess of Hell and heir to the throne I hearby order that you help with this hotel, for as long as you desire. Sound fair?"

She can give an order that he likely cannot refuse, but gives him an out. Most importantly of all she does not make a deal with him for his help. Charlie is not some helpless little girl who can't see Alastor for what he actually is. She just chooses to see the best in people. Remember, she only actively makes a deal with Alastor when everyone she cares about is at risk. And even then she puts caveats on it that she will not hurt anyone for him. She holds boundaries with him and Alastor for all he condescends to her goals at times, respects.

Now let's take for a moment the view that many (not all but much like the toxic ones a very VOCAL amount) of RA shippers have of Charlie. That she is an uwu lesbean babie who doesn't know anything and would have sold her soul to the first overlord that wanted it without vaggie there to look after her. The view that she is so weak willed and naive Alastor can actively and easily manipulate her at any and all times and the only ones putting a stop to it are Vaggie and Lucifer. Okay, awesome. Lucifer has identified this sinner as a threat to his daughter whom despite all his major flaws he does seem to truly care about and want to get to know as an equal adult. You're telling me that Lucifer would willingly put his kid in harm's way to get his dick wet?

No. Nope. Nu-uh. And look, I can appreciate a good enemies to lovers. I really can. But here's the thing, enemies to lovers implies some sort of equal power and ability. According to Viv Al wouldn't be able to take Stolas in a fight. Their power sets are different sure but if a sinner can't take down a member of the Ars Goetia what the FUCK do you think would happen if he tried to take on the king of hell himself? Adam was more evenly matched to fight Lucifer than Alastor was. More importantly, why do people think that Lucifer wouldn't immediately smite Alastor? Let's be real; the only thing keeping Alastor safe when he purposefully antagonizes Luci is the fact that Charlie cares about Alastor. If she weren't there? The man would have been paste on the floor from the first insult.

Additionally; let's just address the elephant in the room. RA is gay charlastor. I'm sorry, but it is. Lucifer is male Charlie, right down to his idealistic nature. It's been beaten out of him by thousands of years of disappointment but Charlie's optimism comes from him. Luci originally wanted to make things better; his position in Heaven was to spread joy. Like, I haven't consumed any of the content but multishipper friends of mine have and the dynamic in those stories is not at all representative of the characters. And honestly? That's fine! Ship what you want! I'm not here to tell you you can't ship stuff (trust me I got way more problematic ships than this) because glass house? Meet stone. But acknowledge the fact that 1. It's a crackship that would never be canon from the outset and 2. Is just the gay version of a ship that was popular for FIVE YEARS before it. Personally; I don't seek out content I know will piss me off, but that's just me. I'm old and know fandom etiquette even if I still for the life me cannot usually remember how to spell that word.

Oh, one other reason I know RA is just gay Charlastor. Certain "artists" keep STEALING Charlastor works and "fixing" read, tracing over and not crediting the original artists, the piece by making it THEIR preferred ship. Or even funnier; they steal Charlastor fankid arts and repost them as RA. This is a persistent problem for at least one Charlastor artist to the point where not only is his handle watermarked in the art but SO IS THE CHARLASTOR LABEL.

[wellofdean]

So in my ongoing efforts to say nice things about Supernatural and, as @luckshiptoshore said yesterday, "reclaim this nice, gay show" together, and also probably because I listened to Bruce Springsteen earlier today while I was thinking: why is it that this particular love story has me like it does? Why can't I let this Destiel thing go? I mean... I watched all the recent queer love stories and as much as I enjoyed Good Omens and OFMD, they just don't take up real estate in my soul like Supernatural does -- and that's not a decision I made, it just is. I don't know about you guys, but my little rages choose me.

Anyway, I was thinking -- it's probably not just because of queer representation or whatever, and I don't think it's because I want to see dudes be tender -- I think I ran out of that form of interest in the life of dudes awhile ago, but yeah, Bruce Springsteen. Born to Run. He says "I want to know love is wild, I want to know love is real" and I felt like it pretty much hit the nail on the head for me, somehow.

It's been a long time since I have felt moved by a het romance story. I feel like I can no longer believe it when the roles are so pre-packaged in the tropes and trappings of what was sold to me as idealised love in my younger days. And, like, I am Gen X, so it was pretty gruesome out there when I was learning how to want love -- the power of compulsory heterosexuality was strong, and the shit that was sold to us all as ways to love and be loved were pretty gross, just watch any romantic comedy from the 80's or 90's.

I think I love Supernatural so much because of the way Dean plays the role of a standard issue dude, and postures like he is a stereotypical red-blooded American dude, but it's so transparent that it isn't him. I don't know if it's just Jensen things, or if it was consciously done, but I love how unconvincing Dean's act is, and how clear it is that he is a wounded child whose own real desires and needs have been beaten out of him somehow, and I just love the way the real Dean and what that guy wants slow rises out of him as the story goes on, until he's choking on it, and visibly swallowing it down. For me, the queerest thing about Dean is his pain, his aching loneliness, and his sense of failure at being what he thinks he is -- a violent man who only knows how to kill, and I love Dean's moments of clarity, moments when he speaks from his own soul -- when he tells Cas he's sorry, tells John he has a family, tells Chuck "that's not who I am" are just everything to me.

Both Dean and Cas are victims of conditioning and coersion -- Dean trying to be his Daddy's perfect son, and being manipulated by Chuck, and Cas horribly violated and brainwashed repeatedly for millennia in heaven -- and they love each other in defiance of conditioning, because love is wild, and it's the product of their freedom.

I feel like ALL actual love eschews force and arises out of freedom. All real love is specific and weird, and is co-created in the space between lovers from what is most real in them and in that sense, all real love is queer in some way in that it is not part of the big social project of subjugating what doesn't comply. I feel like a lot of people lead lives of mindless compliance and that a thing that's wonderful about queer people and queer community is that we work against the grain to honor what is truest in us, whatever that is.

I guess I just love that, on Supernatural, the kind of love that saves the day is the kind that grows wild, like a weed you can't kill, out of more than a decade of choosing each other, again and again, and choosing to fight coercion and conditioning. Love that just fucking refuses to comply, and in fact, cannot comply, because non-compliance is it's very nature. There's something so hopeful and beautiful about that to me. I want to believe in it, and I do.

It's also why, after ALL THIS, in the context of that narrative, Dean is incontrovertibly queered, and anything else is just straight up narrative malpractice.

[twosoulss77]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favourite ship, canon or not, out of a particular show.

Shipping is just a way for artist and what not to explore different dynamics, or even their own. That’s why I believe we should let people enjoy what they like, without forcing our own image of a certain spectrum into them. Especially cause shaming those people, for trying to explore their identity through art, might cause actual harm to them or cause them to not enjoy doing what they like anymore, bc of hateful comments from someone who hides behind a fake identity to hate on a fictional ship, which in itself it’s a very sad and pathetic way to live, but just cause your life is miserable doesn’t mean you need to make others people’s life miserable you know. Go touch Grass when you feel like being a dick!!!

As an AroAce fellow with no desire for a sexual relationship, I applaud and adore all those people making content of my fav husbands, let it be a fics smut or just normal fluff, I love it all SO MUCH Hazbin Hotel ep 5 changed my whole chemistry, and Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it's what ‘Charlie would want’, and Alastor being a stupid ‘Bambi’ and try to wiggle himself out of it at the beginning, but then realise that he actually doesn’t mind the king of hell company at all. Both slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way, playing music together, telling dad jokes, hating on the same delusions glorified iPad …like there is so much potential there that it’s crazy how much it pisses people off. It might be cause I am a sucker for Enemies to Friends to Lovers, but by God if that isn’t the best trope.

I know there will be some smart people out there, that are gonna be like “Alastor is ace”, but so are half the people who ship him!!! I hate when people make assumption on us, on who and how we want to love. I might not be interested in participating in sexual stuff myself, but that doesn’t stop me to explore my own ace-spectrum with these two characters, who if they wanted to could and would kiss each other, Cause for one I says so, I have the power to make that happen *insert hysterical laugh* And second It was confirmed that Alastor is a repulsed Ace, but would also be down to date someone if they were strong asf, (Confirmed in a stream, take that with a grain of salt) still makes this ship more possible than others.

Al being Aroace, doesn't mean he can't date or have sex, he's just not all that interested in it, but that could also derive from the fact that he hasn’t found the right person yet, so it doesn’t feel important to him yet. (fun fact aromantic wasn't the part of my struggle accepting that I was aroace it was actually accepting I was ace bc of my hyper sexual tendencies)

Also Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me, or any relationship with him for that matter. He is just this 7 feet tall demon with zero interest in romance, but always managing to find himself having beef with someone, possibly a guy, and act like he is either about to kiss or kill him XD

I really needed to get this off my chest and I absolutely mean every thing I said in here. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but you'll be surprised to see how much happier you will be when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

Thanks for listening 😊💜

[dreaming-hibi]

In this rant I will—

I read something that made me think quite a lot the other day but, if you ask me what it was, well, I wouldn't be able tell you because I forgot. What I can say is that: I'm about to rant on KHR again.

Unsurprisingly, the rant is about our dear protagonist Tsuna (my love for Tsuna is both logical and personal, so let's not go there). I don't interact enough with fandom to make statements like "Most people do" and "Most people don't" — in reality, I've barely interacted with more than 5 people who know this manga in my life. Anyway, of those people, I remember some who were frustrated with the childishness and indecisiveness of the characters, especially someone like Tsuna.

Like, what?

It is only years laters that I finally have the composure to answer this claim with calmness.

"Tsuna is indecisive and childish."

First of all, how can anyone expect a 14 year old to know exactly what they want to do with their lives? Heck, there are some people that only figure out what they want in their 30s, if not later! And some others that never do and live their life trying to make every day count. How is a 14 year old, who had never been entrusted with any kind of expectation, just supposed to know?

Oh, is it because Naruto knew he wanted to be Hokage at 12 years old? Or because Deku was firm in his conviction that he wanted to be a hero at the age of 5? Or again because Edward Elric decided he was going to be a state alchemist and achieved so at the age of 12 years old?

Well, if that's the point of reference then, actually, Tsuna is the most realistic teenager I've seen in a shonen manga with fantastical elements and Amano-sensei did a wonderful job with her teenage (and child) characters. She sure as hell hasn't forgotten what it means to be 14 years old, unlike some people.

Furthermore, Tsuna is a teenager trying to tell what is very much an adult, who has shot him on more than one occasion for trying to oppose him (granted, I know Reborn did it knowing Tsuna could overcome whatever he threw at him and he seemed ready to intervene should it ever seem like Tsuna couldn't do it, it still doesn't change the fact that beginning Tsuna was actively terrified of this baby killing him on accident), that he does not want to be the boss of a mafia family he has, realistically, no obligation towards. Tsuna, at the very least, knows what he doesn't want, and he's vocal about it to Reborn... It's just that Reborn wants to hear none of it.

[Chapter 283 "Simon Middle School", Tsuna telling Reborn that he has no intention of becoming the boss of a mafia family and that he doesn't want to be involved with the mafia anymore.]

If you see Tsuna as childish for the way he keeps insisting that he doesn't want to be part of the mafia, is because you have forgotten what it's like to be 14 years old. Tsuna is not childish in his desire to not want to be involved in the mafia.

Actually, this issue lies in the reader (apart from the whole having forgotten what it feels like to be 14 years old) and in Amano-sensei's representation of the mafia. In Katekyo Hitman Reborn, we see a mafia that has been severely toned down from what it truly is. For us, this "mafia" is interesting, fascinating and, we do not see any problems with Tsuna joining it. After all, "if this is the x, then sign me the fuck up!" right?

Well, no.

Fictional mafia or not, Tsuna shouldn't be forced to join any of it when he doesn't want. Like, it seems like Tsuna is the only one seeing KHR's mafia without the rainbow-tinted glasses. I don't know how the boy does it, because we barely ever see KHR's mafia as being anywhere near as bad as the real mafia is, but Tsuna does anyway and he's right in no wanting any part of it.

I support Tsuna not becoming Vongola Decimo. But I also admit I have no idea what that boy could become if not the boss of the strongest mafia family.

We are introduced to a Tsuna who has no particular life skill, nor any particular hobbies — in fact, that's why he cannot understand Yamamoto's suicidal act in chapter 5, because he himself admits he has NOTHING he ever felt passionate about enough to take his own life.

Though Tsuna gets trained on how to fight, by the end of the manga he still has no life skills to talk about and, that's completely normal. He fought those battles because he HAD to. Those battles did nothing to enrichen his everyday skills.

Yeah, sure, he can go into Hyper Dying Will Mode, but how is HDWM gonna help him pass his algebra exam?

Tsuna needs a hobby outside of the mafia.

[glowingbadger]

Thoma accidentally being called “Thomas” is so funny to me (& I believe anyone in Inazuma that gets annoyed with him (with ayato) that they’ll purposefully call him “Thomas”

Anyways congrats on the 2K!!!

How about Y, N, & C for him?

Ahhhh I love Thoma, my perfect malewife 😭❤️

Alphabet prompts - Thoma (Genshin)

C (cum), N (no), Y (yearning)

NSFW 18+

Cum: Thoma is not shy at all about cum, and doesn't even mind if things get a little messy (cleaning up is his specialty after all). In particular, he loves to swallow or lick up your cum, practically panting with how thrilling it is for him to make you feel so good. For him, your pleasure is his pleasure, so every orgasm he can bring you makes his pulse rush. As for his own, he does tend to cum a good amount, and while he won't push the matter, you'll notice he does find it incredibly hot to see his cum on your tongue, or dripping down your chest. Plus, as one might expect from a passionate and emotive lover like Thoma, his orgasms are intense, and leave him blushing, cock throbbing, and gasping your name.

No: while Thoma can definitely handle being handcuffed or tied up a bit, it really bothers him and makes him antsy to be fully and completely restrained for too long. He's an active guy (I mean, look at how he effortlessly spins around with that lance), and enjoys exerting himself a bit in bed, especially for the sake of your pleasure. As a dedicated service top/bottom/anything-as-long-as-he's-serving, he doesn't like feeling like he's not doing enough for you, and wants to be able to bury his head between your thighs, or kiss you deeply while he makes love to you in any way you'd like.

Yearning: While he's extremely good about never pressing the matter, Thoma's sex drive is actually something fierce. He can be ready to go the moment you say you want him- his desire for you is simply so powerful. So many little things about you are just so charming to him, and having you has alleviated some of the loneliness of living far from his original home as something of an 'outsider,' so he truly cherishes you and wants to give you all the pleasure he possibly can. It's a good thing he's such a devoted worker, because when he's busy for long stretches of time, his longing to feel your skin at his lips and his palms and against his entire body can be downright distracting.

[centrally-unplanned]

Wasn't sure how to search for the other 18 rants about Eva not being about his depression, mind ranting again or linking me to a past one?

Oh, I don't think I have written it with any coherence at any point (maybe I have, I have been here for a long time after all), I was being cheeky. To quickly summarize, Anno's own mental health is certainly not irrelevant or anything, I was exaggerating for comedic effect, it isn't some truly-false statement. After all, depression can mean a lot of things! A generalized sense of struggling with one's place in the world? Oh sure, Eva is about that.

But Eva wasn't intended to be about mental-health-style depression and "Having Depression" is probably not how Anno saw himself? The themes of Eva are coming a lot more from genre commentary and discourse around otaku identity, and far more universal than the depressed. And while Anno did have a pretty famous bout of capital-D Depression, it was after the making of Evangelion, a bit of a "what do I do now?" kind of deal.

A lot of this is sort of a lost-in-translation across time and culture deal. Like you see this being said all the time (Shinji's wikipedia page):

Neon Genesis Evangelion director Hideaki Anno was depressed for four years before the series began production.[4] After the failure of Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honnêamise's sequel Aoki Uru, Gainax began planning a new series. According to Gainax co-founder Yasuhiro Takeda, ideas from Aoki Uru were borrowed for the new project, including the concept of "not running away".

And here is the source quote:

They say, "To live is to change."  I started this production with the wish that once the production complete, the world, and the heroes would change.  That was my "true" desire.  I tried to include everything of myself in Neon Genesis Evangelion-myself, a broken man who could do nothing for four years.  A man who ran away for four years, one who was simply not dead.   Then one thought.  "You can't run away," came to me, and I restarted this production.  It is a production where my only thought was to burn my feelings into film.  I know my behavior was thoughtless, troublesome, and arrogant.  But I tried. 

Now, for a weak argument I will say even without any context it should be notable that he doesn't say depression - this is more like feeling like a failure. The stronger argument is that Anno runs his fucking mouth all the damn time. He says bombastic and cryptic and tortured artist shit all over. When he asks Miyazaki to take his dick out and show the world his erect penis in Princess Mononoke, does he actually want that? Is that, you know, an authentic, unfiltered expression of his true emotion? Or is he playing to the crowd? He does this shit, its great, but, you know, you gotta read the tone.

One of my favourite quotes from Hiroyuki Yamaga is when he delicately called him a faker lol for the (Post-Eva, to be clear) depression:

On Anno’s severe depression, his “crisis of the soul,” as a motive in the development of Evangelion. YAMAGA: Well, I think Anno may have appeared in the Japanese media as you suggest; he’s made comments about wanting to die, and so forth, but at least from my perspective, things were never as serious as they appeared in the press. [LAUGHS]

Anyway, the far stronger argument is that this statement is false. He did not do nothing for four years! Nadia shut down production in 1991, and in 1992 Gainax began working on Aoki Uru, a sequel to their film Royal Space Force, with Anno as the director. Then funding fell through, so Anno himself goes to King Records and hashes out a deal with producer Toshimichi Otsuki for a new anime, with a focus on artistic agency and in particular rejecting funding from toy companies (standard at the time in the long tail of the Gundam boom for something mecha-esque) as he thinks they are a creative straightjacket. They put together a funding structure, and he writes the Evangelion Proposal which is finished in 1993, two years before the show airs. In that proposal are most of the core themes of Evangelion, the same depressing tone and otaku-commentary stuff. Work begins in earnest in 1994.

I have no doubt this was a stressful and harrowing time for Anno, I am just saying A: he does not mean these comments literally, he was in fact doing a lot and quite busy at this time. And B: this comment is about creative freedom and the future of the anime industry. Anno is depressed about anime, otaku, stagnation in the field, commercialization, things like that. Nadia was a gigantic fuck-up in his mind due to studio meddling, he is responding to that - it is an external and artistic struggle that he is referring to here. And these "universalized" themes are more like what he was putting into the work. And this makes sense because in Japan at the time you wouldn't really express things about mental health in the western, "capital-D Depression" way.

But since that is how it was expressed in 90's & 2000's America, the Prozac Generation, when these comments went to press in America that got put through that lens. These interviews are summarized in our media with the word depression - it comes up far, far less in Japanese sources at the same time (not zero of course). As an example, take the famous Hiroki Azuma Evangelion essay, "Anime or Something Like It". Depression is never mentioned - instead the societal lens is the focus:

According to Anno himself, this change of attitude came about while creating and producing the work. "Evangelion" was received enthusiastically among anime fans. He said that in noticing that autistic, enthusiast reception, he thought he should changed the entire conceptual structure of the work, and in the end that's what he did. After all of the episodes were broadcast, in what looks like a self-tormenting, auto-destructive critique of anime fans that ANNO would repeat many times in radio interviews, specialty anime magazines, etc., he would clearly reiterate the personal intellectual history of MIYAZAKI and OSHII. All three of them isolated themselve from "anime-like things" owing to their hate of the autism after they achieved overwhelming success among anime fans. 

Lol for openly expressing a hatred of autism, it was 1998 don't cancel him okay. I like its emphasis on the lineage - Anno's themes are not tabula rasa, instead in conversation with others, things western sources didn't pick up on.

Anyway, I am just presenting the negative case here, certainly depression is a part of Evangelion. That reality is just often stretched into a sort of "Eva as Anno's therapy" lens that I think is not justified by what we know of the production. (Not to mention it was a joint production, not Anno's work alone, but I have gone on long enough)

[whispersleo]

Can't sleep so of course I started thinking about Spite

I was mulling over the spanish translation of his name and although there are a LOT of things that get lost in the translation, jokes and puns that can't be passed from one language to the other while preserving their original meaning, I'm talking about the name of the demon in specific.

His name is translated as Rencor (Rancor / Grudge / Resentment); when I first met him, I liked this name a lot more than "Spite" because I am an extremely resentful person, and felt that the translation had much more strength and hatred in it, so I thought it would be a much better fit for a "demon". Then I actually got to know more about the demon and Lucanis in the game, and Spite couldn't have any better name than Spite.

Spirit of Determination? I'm so sorry that's his deadname and we won't be using it in this home thank u

Rencor is a big and special word for me. I keep it close to my heart all the time. In my long understanding living with this feeling (resentment), it deeply hurts because whatever caused it mattered to you, one way or another. I hold resentment towards so many things in my life, to memories that, when replayed in my head, makes my blood boil. My throat goes dry and my chest sinks, my head hurts. It's painful, bitter, but more than anything, it is this mix of anger and a little sadness for something that happened, that I did to myself or that I allowed to be done to me.

Resentment can be “overcome” with forgiveness, but that’s where Spite comes in.

You see, Spite happens when you decide NOT to forgive, nor forget the harm they did to you, the pain you went through, your suffering. Why would you forgive? People often tell me over and over again to forgive, that it will make me feel better. But why? Why should I be the "bigger" person?

Why am I the one who is wrong for feeling resentful, and not them for hurting me?

I decide not to forgive, and to live in spite of it. Living despite the harm they did to me. It is such a wonderful word, which translates most directly in spanish as Despecho. And THAT is another big, special word, that fills your mouth when you pronounce it, as much as Rencor, but with the same different meanings.

When people gossip about someone "lo hizo por despecho" (they did it out of spite), we immediately think -okay, someone hurt them and whatever they did was their vengeance-, as a first point. It is a feeling of revenge, of hatred, of pain but above all, rage and anger. Doing something por Despecho or being despechado are words saved for situations where Rencor falls too short. Despecho - Spite is the desire to do harm, while one can drown in the bitter pain of Rencor - Resentment and do nothing.

And I just find the such beautiful nature of the word Spite lost in translation, because he (the demon) is not Rencor.

Rencor is Lucanis. He, in fact, drowns in resentment, and I love him for it. It makes me wish the game was well written and explored in deep the narrative of all the abuse he suffered from his grandmother, and the complex feelings of being betrayed by his brother. I mean, it's all complex feelings with Lucanis, but let's imagine for a moment that the game isn't written like shit. Let's imagine that we can get to understand him as a character through this immense pain of loving two people who have done him so much harm, and they are all he has in this world. All he's ever had, in Lucanis' own words. Resenting the people you love hurts so much that it closes up your throat and prevents you from breathing. He can't help it, because he is unable to kill Illario after all the betrayals; he loves him and cannot be forced to do real harm to him, the same type of harm Illario has already done to Lucanis without any problem (apparently).

It's SPITE who actually pushes him to, lmao, live??? And I love that and this is my specific problem with the translation in particular. Is not resentment, is the wanting-to-hurt-something demon, who tries hard to talk to Rook to seek help for Lucanis, who drives him to continue inciting plans for revenge, and wishes for them to be free and live in spite of everything that was done to them. Every torture, every pain, every betrayal. The spirit (now demon) does not kill Lucanis out of SPITE, because he refuses to do what his torturers want.

Rencor es un dolor, un sentimiento amargo en la boca que se queda ahí. ¿Pero Despecho? Es tomar todo lo que te hicieron y decir que se jodan, joderlos, joder a todo el mundo, que sepan que sufriste y aún así sigues viviendo, lleno de rabia y adolorido, pero vivo, respirando, lidiando con ello.

That last part is also what I love about the name "Spite". You have to live to be able to experience spite, you have to suffer the consequences of what they did to you, breathe with that pain, and somehow keep walking, keep smiling, keep suffering, keep going... Just keep swimming, just keep going. No matter what. That is Spite.

[thewalrusespublicist]

John and Julian has been repeatedly discussed in terms of their estrangement and John’s neglect (and Yoko’s financial maneuvers against him) but how do you think their relationship might’ve played out had he not been killed? I’ve just read that looong post you reblogged on their history and it’s surprisingly one of the few detailed research of their dynamic. It seems as if their relationship was characterized by a mutual desire for closeness but due to traumas (John abandoning him for one, John’s own struggles, and the focus on Julian’s financial or lack of arrangement). Just wondering as to how you see a relationship playing out in this au where John lives. Very interesting that Julian was actually quite similar to John in terms of teen rebellion and manipulation of his father (no negative connotation he was an emotionally hurt child). I do think because J&Y measured relationships and were to an extent emotionally stunted in a childhood state of ‘ME’ that it makes sense why they were able to easily put their needs first even when at the cost of a child. Especially one that came before they met the other. Makes me wonder what kind of regression or growth might’ve taken place. Especially when considering Yoko’s own daughter is still lost to her. And though John’s sons are…eccentric to say the least, the criticism towards Julian harping on his late father’s transgressions is tiring but unfortunately a very real example of what generational trauma means. Especially to those who know the feeling of having a parent leave by choice.

Hi anon!

Ooohh I don't want to be a downer in the festive period but I agree with so much of what you've said and think there would always be a lot of challenges if John had lived when it came to his relationships with both his children.

I think his dynamic with Julian in particular would be ... a mess. In one corner, you have an angry young man defensive about his mother and rightfully upset with the father he loves but who in many ways abandoned him. He wants to start something in music and feels entitled to something from said man. He also for very valid reasons and for some invalid reasons hates his stepmother and by nature has no real issue lashing out and being vocal. Add to this is a close relationship with his stepdad.

In the other corner you have an absent father who is capable of feeling immense guilt but his reaction to it is to double down and lash out. He is someone who loves and connects through music and wants to share that with the son he loves. He's also working under the illusion that any gulfs are due to his ex-wife's influence. At the same time however, he can't stand the idea of not being needed and withdraws support and becomes cruel if he feels a loved one is becoming too independent or if he feels anyone is taking his place. To defend his natural sweetness and vulnerability, he will overreact to any suspicions that he is being used. As you said, he is also sadly unable to put his child above his feelings and emotional volatility, no matter how much he perhaps wants to. To top this all off he loves his wife but more importantly he's built his entire identity about his love story with his wife being the centre of the universe and has worked incredibly hard PR-wise to cultivate this image.

That’s a lot of very volatile ingredients in this powder keg with a lot of different scenarios where it can go hideously wrong. Here's unfortunately what I think is a pretty plausible series of events if John lived and had stayed with Yoko:

John continues his 1980 attempts to get closer to Julian and works on music with him

Julian gets closer to his dad and wants his dad's support to launch his own music

John immediately gets religiously on board out of guilt/desire to connect/enthusiasm and shoots his nepo baby to the stars

John for either valid or invalid reasons gets paranoid and/or jealous about Julian being the younger, potentially more on the pulse version of himself and fears he may not need him or is using him. If he and Yoko are still together I can't imagine Yoko would help dispel this. As he's gotten closer to Julian he's also more aware of Julian's relationship with his stepdad. He lashes out as he always does.

Julian withdraws and/or retaliates. It escalates to the press where it goes to shit. John tears into Julian and Cynthia. Julian goes for the Ballad of John and Yoko and John's more abusive behaviour.

Stalemate/cool-off/soft jabs in the press period where John 'will never speak to him again for disprespecting Yoko' or some other front but actually goes through a far more hot-and-cold dependant on mood pattern with Julian.

Either both stick to tortured silence where John ‘doesn't care’ with that usual success rate or reconnects with Julian because both deep down really want this relationship, honeymoon period and pattern begins again.

Would this change for the better if he and Yoko split? Certainly yes but not entirely. John's issues with his children are his own and he would have needed intense counselling to deal with it. It makes me really sad to say it and who knows what curveballs would have come about in this AU which could have changed everything but with Julian's resentment and hurt and John's defensiveness and volitility, I can't see their dynamic do anything but consistently blow up in their faces.