#i do need to just let it all go though bc it's just how it is and there are many worse situations to be in and i am very grateful for my
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hamletisintown · 3 days ago
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I keep telling myself I should talk about my OCs more bc how else am i gonna lure people into talking about them with me??? So, i'm gonna be brave and i'm gonna use these sketches i made recently to introduce some of my little guys a bit.
Also for anyone interested, I do have a tags system that SHOULD be comprehensive, check my pinned post,
and if you're interested in any particular OC, check the tags under my drawings, i try to tag each OC individually (and in order of appearance in the drawing from left to right, top to bottom) so you should be able to just click on the tag and see more of them!
With this out of the way, let's get into it:
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(from left to right)
The twin princes Hypnos and Thanatos. They are famously demigods, direct descendants of Erebus the moth god, and thus held to high standards. Hypnos is the face of the kingdom, adept at manipulating his way through social situations, while Thanatos is a warrior trained by the illustrious Illudo, leading the guards and the armies. Fiery, warm, but rational and distant Hypnos ; stoic, sharp, but emotional and honorable Thanatos ; they stand in stark contrast to each other, each one complementing the other's weaknesses, an inseparable duo.
Aubépine the Butterfly Knight. A well-known fgure among the Court, Aube is a flashy, charming, but responsible knight. Many ladies would offer him their heart without hesitation but this honorable knight remains single, too focused on his duty of protecting the castle, though some rumours (if you'd care to believe them) would have him already romantically entangled with a lowly criminal.
Acacia the honey mage. Every court needs its doctors, and as far as doctors go, the honey mages produced by honey bee and bumblebee colonies are the best equipped for the task. Acacia is a nervous but efficient worker, apt to tackle the difficult ordeal of keeping all of the chaotic figures of the court in relatively good shape. A tough job that nevertheless puts them in a privileged position to learn about many of the court's secrets...
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sonderblade · 7 hours ago
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SONIC MOVIE 3 SPOILERS AHEAD!
SCROLL NOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
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Okay so we all know that Shadows survives at the end but I was thinking about if they went down the path of Shadow feeling extremely guilty for almost destroying the world and doing the opposite of what Maria wanted but I also was thinking about Shadow having strong guilt towards SONIC considering he almost made Sonic lose someone so important to him and Sonic ends up talking it out with him and helps him despite everything.
So I’m thinking about this AU where Shadow gets ambushed by GUN agents and there we see that soldier lady (who was very efficient in messing up everybody’s plans😭😭go queen, I Stan her) and he’s in a terrorgation room with no cuffs, nothing, just her and him. She approaches him saying that he wouldn’t have come willingly because he most likely would’ve thought they were ambushing him anywYs blah blah blah- we get to the point where she guilt-trips him using Maria, him almost destroying millions of innocent lives, and then she brings up Sonic and how he put aside his hatred and helped him instead and how good of person Sonic is and that Shadow didn’t deserve someone like Sonic to be good to him- that he didn’t deserve a second chance. And she does this WELL. She doesn’t yell, she’s calm and she has such a sure face that it messes with Shadow despite him trying really hard to not take everything to heart and agreeing WITH it. She says that he could EARN that second chance if he starts helping GUN because “today’s GUN isn’t the same GUN as before”. And adds,
“if not for the world, then for her.”
And THAT gets him on board, although still reluctant.
Then we can time skip into shadow having a REALLY bad time where he’s constantly switching from mission to mission to fighting in an underground illegal fighting ring because he can’t stand being at GUN’s room for him and he needs to let out his emotions. He’s in between fighting as an agent and as a bloodied fighter(he lets himself get beat bc he thinks he deserves it) and he’s seeing hallucinations of Maria but also starts to see hallucinations of Sonic and he begins to consume his mind because why??? Why help him??? Why console him? Why choose to understand him? Why did he smile at him knowing all the things he’s done? Why laugh and talk with him like they’ve known each other forever?
And he CANNOT get Sonic out of his mind. He’ll be fighting bad guys on missions and Sonic’s smile flashes or he can hear him laugh. And shadow doesn’t know how to feel about it. He barely knows the guy!!! But it doesn’t click until he gets a talk from someone in the locker room for the fighting ring where she tells him, “when someone looks at you with care even though you’ve done nothing to deserve it… it’s hard not to think about warmth after years of freezing.”
And it clicks. Sonic’s the only other warmth he’s felt besides Maria. But Sonic’s different, he isn’t someone to be like family- like Maria, it’s something else entirely and he’s so confused at the feeling. But he thinks of him anyway. And he dreams of new times with him anyway. And he’ll never plan to visit him.
Until a new foe arrives which causes the Sonic team+ Amy (so excited to see her!!)+ Shadow & GUN. Sonic and Amy are getting along fine but Sonic is just. So. Glad that Shadow is in fact alive. He introduces her, they talk about what happened but Sonic is all like “it’s all in the past, who cares??!!!!!” “Sonic, he almost killed Tom and you tried to kill him” “it’s all in the past!!!!!”
And they get to develop their relationship and Sonic’s talking about how Shadow needs to go “popular place” and needs to do “trendy cool thing” because he’s “uncultured to a horrifying degree”. They get to have teamwork, argue with each other, reconcile, laugh, bond, and it’s NOTHING like these boys have felt before. It’s so easy to share with each other but also have some sort of friendly rivalry and continue to push themselves to impress one another. It’s sportsmanship , it’s friendship, it’s romantic(tho they won’t admit it), it’s a genuine connection.
And maybe. HEAR ME OUT PLEASE. MAYBE. they have a dance scene. THIS ISNT CRAZY. THEY SHOWED SHADOW DOESNT MIND DANCING AND SONIC FUCKING LOVES IT!!!! SO!!!!!
ITS A ROMANTIC LYRICS BUT REALLY GOOD MUSIC TYPE OF SONG (think of “Ma Meilluere Ennemie” from Arcane which is SO THEM btw) BUT ANYWAYS.
I just really hope we see Shadow and Sonic become friends that everyone knows as complicated but They still Care. For one another even if they don’t want to admit it.
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pumpkinsy0 · 3 days ago
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Seasonal depression Pony hcs with Darry trying to navigate how to help him?? I have a hc that pony has been dealing with seasonal depression even before his parents died and they always seemed to know exactly the right thing to do while Darry just stuck to being the fun older brother letting Pony tag along with his friends to try and cheer him up BUT now Darry can't really do that (cause... y'know 💀) so he's having a hard time figuring out how to help pony
tbh all these mfs got grounds to have seasonal depression at least one of the gang is always depressed each month, its like a torch they pass around
•before their parents died, darry rlly wasnt THAT proactive in helping him w it. not bc he didnt care but bc he didnt know how to care for him, he would ofc help when he could but ultimately he mostly left it up to soda and his parents to help, which they did
•after their parents died ponys seasonal depression genuinely slipped his mind, he just had a lot going on, so when pony started acting “weird” he remembered it and even then he didnt know how to react to it, he wouldnt b as hard on pony as he normally was but thats just about it, even then he was kinda leaving it up to others (namely soda and johnny) to help w that
•now AFTER johnny died, i feel like we can make the argument that pony has 2 points of seasonal depression, the month all that bs went down and whatever month u hc’d him to already have seasonal depression in, and darry COULDNT just push that to the side, now he’d actually have to confront it
• hes so out of the loop on what to do to help pony bc he hasnt exactly been there and he beats himself up for it, going to soda about it is his only way of finding out what to do and that makes him feel like a failure
•its so awkward when darry tries hanging out w pony to get him outside a lil bc pony KNOWS darrys trying to connect w him and he hates and likes it at the same time. he hates it bc he hates having ppls pity and thats all ppl ever do when their around pony w his seasonal depression, pity him. but likes it cause hey, at least hes not invisible to the guy
•pony told soda about how he feels about that, and soda told him to just give darry a chance. soda didnt tell darry pony said that though, if darry heard that, he would lose a lot of the small confidence he has for this
•i think darry does has his episodes of depression and those r the small times him and pony connect w one another, they both dont go to each other for their emotional problems, so this is more of an unspoken thing that happens between them, they just GET each other, more importantly they help each other to get better, by helping the other, its like they motivate one another.
•from those times darry starts getting a clearer understanding of what to do for pony, he doesnt need people to watch over him all the time like darry was pushing the others in the gang to do, he needs his space only time he actually needs others around is as a push to keep on going, b his friend not a guardian!!!
•before their parents died, pony and darry would regularly prank each other, and i could totally see darry bringing that back a lil bit just to see pony smile. if not, soda and darry bicker and prank each other to see pony giggle
•one of the things darry does is that he draws pics for pony as a lil motivation, but he cant draw for shit and pony thinks its funny. before he wouldve found them more antagonizing than anything, but the drawing is so silly and he sees that darrys rlly trying so he cant get mad
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ticklish-ghost · 21 hours ago
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Jayvik love tickle rambles bc im going insane. Expect nothing coherent.
So. Uhm. Ugh idk where to even start. @home-of-the-squirmle my novel (i actually held myself back didnt wanna make this too long)
Imo Jayce & Viktor both love tickling. Doesn’t matter how, they just do. Lovely way to destress, bond, past time, have fun, distract, exhaust, etc. It makes them both feel loved, in different ways.
Jayce… Jayce loves having fun. He loves laughing, being able to let go, not have to worry about anything else but laugh, laugh and laugh. He always feels better after getting tickled silly- feels lighter, refreshed, some tension has left his neck (fun fact, laughing hard does actually relieve tension in your head and neck!), and just generally feels nicer. Not to mention… He gets to have Viktor’s attention. Viktor smirks when he sees Jayce behaving a certain way. The way he fidgets and stares at Viktor’s hands, stammering when he sees Viktor fidget with a certain device, or manipulate a tool. Viktor loves just making it draw out… Until he can either pounce Jayce in surprise, or bluntly ask Jayce, and watch him turn a darker colour, stammering and stuttering. Until Viktor starts happily tickling Jayce, subtle heart eyes as his heart melts, watching Jayce giggle and squirm as least as possible (he swears its to avoid hurting Viktor).
It makes Viktor happy, to see Jayce lose it a little. To be carefree and free of all anxiety and stress, knowing it’s a lot for him, the pressure of the council, making sure the Hexgates are properly functioning, making future plans, etc etc. Plus, he knows Jayce loves to have fun, loves to play, be happy. And it feels nice, to get to play with Jayce… Albeit it’s a little childish, but that’s okay. Because it’s so… Jayce. And anything Jayce loves, Viktor’s happy to indulge in (just don’t tell Jayce that). So what’s a little tickle, to make his partner feels better, hm?
Viktor. Viktor… Well, Viktor’s used to people avoiding touching him, yea? Or if people did touch him, it was because he “clearly�� needed help. (Speaking from experience, people tend to avoid touching you, like you weren’t human…). Plus, it’s not like the Undercity provided the most comforting and safe area. Most kids wouldn’t play with him, so how is he to experience something so… Childish? Not that Viktor minds, of course. He loves being silly, when he can allow himself to be (“Time… to crank it!”). It’s just that, being assistant to the dean of the academy, to then being a scientist, it hasn’t exactly given Viktor many chances to be around anyone. That’s not even bringing up on him being from the Undercity, and people’s obvious distaste towards his people. Jayce has certainly charmed Viktor in his… Methods, though. His loving touch and stare as he tickles Viktor’s knees, his torso, his neck, his feet, with nothing but devotion and love. It makes something ache in Viktor’s heart, something deep and powerful. Makes him feel loved and appreciated- for simply existing. Not to mention, the feeling it brings him to be under such an attentive and teasing gaze & words.
To feel Jayce’s love for him, through ticklish touches and laughter, to understand he can be comfortable in his own skin. And just to have fun! To play with Jayce, to let go of all their scientific problems and responsibilities. Just focus on laughing, throwing his head back and let all the stress melt off his body. Let his chest burst, knowing Jayce wants to see him laugh, his smile… How flustering, yet flattering is that? To be tickled like everyone else does, to get to play and have fun, because Jayce wants him to. And Viktor is more than willing to get to have that…
Expect more rambles i guessss?
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spittingspite · 9 days ago
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I'm still shaking I can't believe this I just can't believe it. God after all these years. I've been watching people's reactions on YouTube for at least an hour I'm so jealous of everyone who got to see the reveal live on stream. I cannot believe my eyes I keep expecting to wake up because this is a dream come true for me. I've told just about everyone I know. Everyone who definitely does not give a shit. And it's not enough it's not enough I need to tell the whole world about it I need one million videos of people whose reaction to the trailer is just screams. God I have stuff to do but all I want is to go home right now and play okami I want to watch one thousand streamers and let's players play okami I need an okami drug injected directly into my bloodstream no one will ever know how much this means to me I'm sick I'm hysterical I'm going to dig to the centre of the earth I will never be normal again knowing a sequel for okami is in the works
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autumnrory · 3 months ago
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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sereniv · 4 months ago
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Well i think we ALL should be threatening not to vote for Harris if she doesnt call for an arms embargo. Id say ceasfire but lets be real
I think we ALL should be putting our effort into applying pressure on ending a genocide, rather than pressuring people to vote for someone who not only seems to be going back on policies she said she stood for, but is also not proving she will actually do anything on the situation in Palestine
The voting hasnt happened. You can't get mad at people for AT LEAST threatening to not vote for her. Threatening. As in, no one has voted yet. So it's all talk right now.
If people dont end up vote for Harris it will be her own fault. Thats just how it works. What she says, but more importantly what she does, is what makes people vote for her just like any other candidate
we arent even asking that much. At the VERY least, is to stop sending weapons. 1 thing she and biden are capable of doing but have shown having no plans on even considering it.
Now, I dont know what im doing when it comes to voting bc theres a lot that can happen until then. im not thinking of what im going to do, im focused on helping to apply pressure. Ive sent emails and called. But even just talking about it can help.
Yes, if Trump wins it IS worse, beyond Palestine. For the planet, and everyone.
But the fact is that some people will not vote for her. That is a fact.
Another Fact is some people will vote for her only if they feel confident she will actually do something about the genocide.
These are facts. You don't even need a source for that
Why are you wasting your time on people who wont vote, instead of convincing the Hold Voters to vote for Kamala by making Kamala someone they will want to vote for?
WE arent dividing the vote. SHE is.
Worry about the blame game for after the election.
For now, help us get her to agree that the United states will stop sending weapons to Israel and/or keep the halt (of weapons), if by some miracle biden gets something done.
#palestine#israel#kamala harris#donald trump#vote uncommitted#us elections#I am in a MOOD and will block zionists and anyone who annoys me#mostly ill let whatever play out in the comments if anyone sees this#bc i finally fucking get it#i was so scared of projrct 2025. i knew trump was technically worse. but i thought strategically its best vote harris#but then thr dnc came out. and at first i felt hopeful. like really confident. that she is going to win#and though i was mad bc up ubtil this point there wasnt much she has said on gaza that felt worth anything#and just. the fact she didnt let a palestinian american speak a deleget. with a bunch of info popping up#on shit shes going back on like fracking and adding more police and wtvr other stuff i cant think rn#like before that i was still on the fence on some stuff like thr term Blue Maga i thought might be a stretch though ive seen it before#like the 4 more years chant for biden. but after not letting the Palestinian deleget talk was like. it was so fucking crushing#and i heard the speech it would have been perfect all the fucking liberals in that place. like i fucking get it#like i didnt like her before but now like...i see why someone would not want to vote for her even with trump being worse. again idk what ill#do. like shes only a shade different from trump when i look at her. like politically. anyway yeah I get how people will vote means nothing#rn. its not even important. its not. bc if we want people to vote the way we want we need to convince them to vote by making the candidate#worth fucking voting for even in the face of a possible dictatorship. and we arent asking for much. we arent asking to move mountains.#just to at LEAST stop sending weapons
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sieglinde-freud · 6 months ago
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project of insanity finally done. i can play the game now
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cheriafreya · 10 days ago
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Penacony's 2.0-2.2 patches: genuinely HSR's peak, full of unforgettable moments. I still get chills watching the cutscenes and some of them still make me cry like the first day.
Penacony's 2.3, 2.6 and 2.7 patches:
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#abbey plays honkai star rail#I feel like venting today#bc my disappointment is immeasurable#in fact I'm actually glad we're finally leaving the place#because I've genuinely grown so TIRED of it#like let's just go to Amphoreus so we can forget all of this please#they just haven't done a single thing right since 2.3 in my opinion#and just as we all expected#Sunday's development was so rushed#I still feel like they changed the writers at some point bc there's no way#they fumbled the story so bad that they MUST have#I've already talked about how much I hated 2.3 so I'm gonna vent about 2.6 and 2.7 now#first off#2.6 with the fricking banana brainrot was TORTURE#so much so that a lot of people got burnout and had to quit the game for the whole month#Rappa's story was good#but the banana brainrot was too much it was unbearable#and it was like idk 1000 hours long#and now that they had to actually make a good conclusion for Sunday#the story is... what? not even 3-ish hours long?#not only that but he shared screentime with another character that needed 'conclusion' aka Tingyun#and I just genuinely would love to know what is going on inside the HSR team's minds 'cause ????#why would you do that. both of them deserved better than this#and it's funny 'cause somehow even though Sunday was the 'protagonist'#I feel like they did Tingyun more justice lol#anyways...#friendship ended with Penacony#now Xianzhou Luofu is my best friend again#no matter what people say it's a lot better#like how did Sunday go from manipulative bastard to uwu baby in 2 seconds I just can't
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quicktimeeventfull · 28 days ago
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i have helped with the weddings of several people i love very dearly who just wanted 'a few simple homemade touches' and inevitably what this means is people running around for weeks lying through their teeth when the to-be-married couple ask if it's been any trouble
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karliahs · 2 months ago
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[bnha manga spoilers] I am not going to write this (please ignore how often I have said these words and turned out to be lying) but I really want a fic where izuku & rody go on a weird kind of sad road trip post-canon but pre the big time jump
izuku who feels so guilty for leaving the world behind but desperately needs to be somewhere without all that weight just for a little while, away from anyone who witnessed the things he witnessed, not at UA when his future feels so uncertain. and rody who does not always know who he is or what he wants, but knows that he wants midoriya izuku to be okay
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moe-broey · 5 months ago
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Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)
#i don't even know what prompted it...#hit w a vision. not enough time to execute it. hit w a vision. too tired to execute it.#i guess technically it was just two huh. but all the moving parts made the other one feel like two in and of itself#oh. now i remember there was another shitpost behind it. i just. didn't get to.#thinking about bruno... thinking about anna... thinking about the fairies... thinking about mirabilis specifically actually#she gets the short end of the stick characterization wise and it's such a shame.#to the point where i was unsure what to do w her... i think i got some ideas rattling around though#I CAN... GIVE HER.... SO MUCH MORE.... without changing too much about her. i just need to extrapolate.#hits her w the disability beam. idk if it's also autism but she has some sort of chronic condition#that just makes you. so tireds. moe and mira shaking hands. let's lay down and rest together.#also thinking about the subtle differences between a full dream and a daydream... between sleeping and just resting#and. making her kitty coded. she is such a kitten pile type girl. she is such a lap cat. queen of catnapping#which i'm thinking works really well w peony and even sharena. not so much moe though 😭💔#i want to capture a playful side. and maybe even a 'i'm still figuring out how i feel about that' side to her#like... i'm imagining peony as someone who's surprisingly insightful and emotionally intelligent.#she's got it all figured out. she already knows. she's not always right. but she tends to know what's up#i'm thinking... maybe mira isn't quite there yet. or struggles to see outside of herself. for obvious/understandable reasons#but she has that unwavering desire for joy and comfort the way peony does. she may feel a pang of jealousy here and there#but it doesn't get in the way of her goals and wants for others. which may be the defining factor actually#like obviously this could get messy if you simplify it too much into 'good' or 'bad'. bc all these girls are DIRECT reflections#of each one's trauma response. assigning morality to that is fucked up. but for story purposes... maybe freyja/freyr did. to a degree.#bc maybe they're flawed and fucked up too. it's about The Cycles. i'm getting so lost in the sauce though LMFAOO#i am GOING to do SOMETHING. for mirabilis. mark my fucking words.
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loverboybrightsideghost · 26 days ago
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alright now that i've watched all of arcane. i immensely enjoyed it because it was very pretty to look at and had a lot of badass good music to go with it. however kind of nothing at all happened except the apocalypse and some gay dudes dying together. go girl give us nothing
#bluebird.txt#arcane#it needed to be longer and also they needed more balls#i love how not a single upper city character reflected on anything at all. pero AT ALL.#yay sevika's on the council but she was barely in act 3 also#it was incredibly too rushed#net zero information gained type stuff#in fact vi might have actually learned less#i'm happy she seems to be doing better but like. she's only doing better because she fell in love with#the EXACT kind of person who killed her parents and was the cause of all of the undercity's poverty and suffering#and EVEN SHE (cait) didn't learn jack shit!#cait was like ooh i'm a little girl. ooh i grew up and became a cop.#alas! this one under city scum prisoner is actually Different!#argh her sister killed my mother! time to become a FUCKING FASCIST!#oh no there's another fascist (who just. i don't even understand what happened w ambessa at all to be honest). let's kill her!#yay we killed her! and also my brother died w his partner so we don't have to worry about that stuff. yay now im still#in charge and still have basically everything and now i have a She's Different girlfriend and we put One (1) zaunite#on the council for show. yay equality!#the way sevika will never get the votes she needs for anything#especially with mel gone#i need to rewatch bc as much as i loved mel i truly have no idea what happened with her mom at all what was that plot#also tbh most of s2 like i understood until the end of act 1 then i was like what the fuck is going on 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#oh ekko is perfect though never change#they could've just given him More Stuff throughout in general but i love him he is without flaw#jinx also#even silco
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indigodawns · 10 months ago
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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windupaidoneus · 2 months ago
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sorry if i am weirder than usual right now GRINS EVILLY but not too evilly. i dont know whats up with me today but its like a whole thing it might be the four hours of sleep if im honest
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mad-hunts · 3 months ago
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