#if you got an actual company to do this for you they would have rightfully charged you at least a grand easy

[lightyakami]

i have helped with the weddings of several people i love very dearly who just wanted 'a few simple homemade touches' and inevitably what this means is people running around for weeks lying through their teeth when the to-be-married couple ask if it's been any trouble

[sirfrogsworth]

No one hates Apple correctly.

This is a ridiculous accusation because I guess they are expecting Apple to... violate the laws of physics?

We have achieved very good energy density. And that allows for the miniaturization involved in creating something like wireless earbuds. But there is no such thing as an infinite battery. And any longer lasting design would have to use more expensive parts or be much bigger.

Also the current lifespan of pretty much all earbuds of this size is about 3 years. This has been mapped out. It isn't a secret. You can google it and it pops up in big bold letters.

The better statistic is actually charge cycles. Years is really dicey because it depends on usage.

If you want something that lasts longer, get headphones. But a short lifespan is the price you pay for such a small product. Perhaps Apple should be more upfront about the limitations of miniaturization, but they aren't actually trying to scam you or hide this information. It's not like they can make a cold fusion battery and are choosing not to.

Apple is actually one of the best at making technology products that last a long time... with one big caveat... as long as they don't need repairs. (Which is why they *actually* suck.)

They keep getting accused of planned obsolescence when they have been supporting their smartphones for pretty much as long as the hardware can run the software. Only last year have companies like Samsung and Google made similar promises.

But Apple refuses to do even the simplest things to make their devices more repairable. And in many cases they actually create hurdles for repairs like pairing parts together so you can't replace them from a donor device.

They have also been very bad at transparency. There is the classic story of Apple slowing down phones. And everybody thought they were trying to force people to buy new ones. In reality, they were actually trying to keep those devices from bricking. The batteries in the phones were too degraded to handle some of the newer software. And since they didn't want the bad press of phones suddenly dying, they slowed down phones. They were actually making the phones last *longer* but for some reason this gets used to make the opposite point.

All that was required was a battery swap. And they could have just told people, "Hey, we can either slow down your phone or you can get a new battery." But they tried to keep it quiet and so everyone drew the wrong conclusions.

They got rightfully sued for this, but it started this idea that they don't make long lasting products when they absolutely do—just within the limitations of physics.

So their sin was never planned obsolescence. It was repairability and transparency. Their closed ecosystem is also an issue, but that is a much more complicated discussion.

[assortedvillainvault]

thanks for the lovely response!! originally, i rediscovered your account by searching pitch black x reader, so I was wondering if you'd write for him?? How about a pitch who used to terrorize and the scare the living hell out of the reader 🤣 (all in good, fun banter of course!!) And the reader eventually grows used to him and ends up loving his company, but-

one day, out of the blue he just up and disappears! Just like that. The reader gets worried, and it turns out he did it because he thought it would be for the readers own good, because in the end, she's still human. she would still end up passing wayy before him. Now that I think abt it, it sounds a lot like it's more for him than her, actually?? Anyways. Jack frost ends up getting involved somehow and finds out about this, goes to confront pitch who's an absolute miserable mess, and one thing leads to another, and Jack's comment of "wow you're afraid," triggers him somehow and he goes to face the reader who's angry at him, rightfully so, and they make up??

It could be in hcs or whatever format which would be most comfortable for u. Of course, I realize this is a very demanding and long request, so u obviously don't have to do it if it hinders you in any way!! Once again, love you and your writing ❤️❤️ wish you the best

I do indeed write for Pitch! I love this stupid lanky bastard- mostly because you know that behind every interaction there is a 3 part act and a soliloquy of desperation because he lives in a cave and can’t even touch grass without getting weird about it.

Pitch x Reader - Disappearing Act

Pitch you BASTARD.

You missed him so much it ached.

Years of your life he had spent dipping in and out of your nights, scaring the absolute piss out of you well into your twenties.

Slowly though, nightmares that had once been borderline torture became spooky weekly catch ups, his laugh leading you through mortal terror into something...not nice, but tolerable as you slept. You’d while away whole nights chatting, playing, stealing time, and now he just-!

You roll back onto your bed with a scowl, wiping your eyes harshly. He hadn’t shown up in weeks.

Ironically, your nightmares now revolve around his absence, or him being hurt nearby, his voice ringing out in pain through your subconscious maze - but no matter which way you turn you only get further away, your efforts fruitless.

You wake every time to find no trace of black sand, and it makes you want to cry and hit something.

Maybe the conveniently sheepish looking shadow on your bedroom floor, with a shit eating white haired child sat on his back, would be a good target.

“Pitch?! And, uh, who the fuck-”

The white haired child cheerfully waved his shepherd’s crook, and you felt a winter’s brisk breeze gleefully whiz around the room. “Hi! Name’s Jack Frost – nice to meet you – here on boogeyman special delivery service!” He gleefully bonked the staff down and froze Pitch’s arms to the ground with a crackle. Pitches voice ticked into the kind of strangled swearing you’ve only been able to manage when you accidentally got too mushy and turned his sand golden.

Jack skipped to his feet and dived for the window. “He’s got something he wants to saaaayyy!!! Bye bye!” Aaaaand he’s gone in a swirl of snowflakes.

You turn back to the scrabbling form of your longtime headache, still awkwardly stuck to the floor via his hands and forearms. Pitch caught your gaze for a second before turning away, mortified.

You sighed, sitting next to him. “Hello stranger. Been a while.” You plapped your hand on the ice, hissing at the cold as it began to melt a little faster. “...missed you.”

Pitch jerked around, golden eyes wide and oooh, was that guilt? That looked a lot like guilt, but you wouldn’t know given how he normally looked haughtily down at the world via his nose.

He chuckled humourlessly, biting out his answer. “...You shouldn’t.”

Ah. One of those bouts of self pity and needless flagellation was it? Well.

Luckily you’ve developed a longstanding tactic for such events.

You snorted and flopped elegantly on top of him, squishing him down and snuggling in even as he sputtered. “Well. I do. Despite your best efforts.” You poked him in his gaunt ribs, taking full advantage of the fact his hands are stuck to really snuggle in there as the room becomes swallowed in shadow. Good luck escaping with you in limpet mode, Pitch. You figured out ages ago he can’t teleport away if you’re holding onto him.

“C’mon, love.” You squeezed gently. “Talk to me.”

Pitch grumbled and sighed as though opening his mouth was tantamount to the world collapsing around his ears. Your weight on top of him always made his head go fuzzy, and you’re distractingly, stupidly warm.

You wait a little longer. The world doesn’t end when the words quietly come.

[apollocabinrep]

PJO PRIDE HEADCANONS PT 2

• Castor was pansexual while Pollux is on the aro spec (demiromantic). Whenever Castor had a crush, Pollux would insist his twin could do better, or that they were "okay."

• Holly and Laurel compete in everything and if they ever end up crushing on the same person, it will also be a competition. Whoever can give them the best flowers, best date, etc. Essentially who can win the person's heart.

• If they crush on different people, the competition changes to who took their partner out on a better date.

• Nyssa is sapphic or unlabeled, probably just content with her work though she can point out a cute girl when she sees one.

• Chris Rodriguez is a bisexual, ambiamorous icon. (Ambiamorous is having more than 1 partner only if the person you're dating is okay with it. You don't mind not having more than one partner.)

• ^ Chris, Beckendorf, Silena, & Clarisse were definitely a polycule and when Silena and Beckendorf died, Chris & Clarisse got a tattoo with all 4 of their initials inside of a heart on their chests. (Clarisse won't ever say anything about it or admit to it.)

• Everyone thinks that because Butch is an Iris kid, he has to be LGBTQ+, but in reality he is just their biggest ally. He thinks the LGBTQ+ campers are extremely brave and admires them.

• But there's also trans Butch which I've started to like a lot

• Most campers think Connor is bisexual, but he's actually demi. He just likes to confuse them even more because he only hangs up the MLM flag.

• Connor tried to ask Malcolm out through a prank, because that's how Travis asked Katie out and it worked for them.

• Travis and Katie are Bi4Bi

• Clovis isn't labeled, so many (young) campers just think he's hetero. He's not awake long enough to care.

Warning: Leeluke below, don't like, don't look 👍

• Lee was the one to ask Luke out after 3 months of them flirting

• Luke fell first, but Lee fell harder

• Lee was pansexual, Luke was bisexual

• Luke always had his arm wrapped around Lee's waist or shoulder because Lee had so many people crushing on him due to his nurturing nature.

• Luke's betrayal was like a punch to the gut to Lee because the boy didn't leave anything for him. Not a note, goodbye, nothing.

• Lee saw Luke one final time before his death in BotL. It was right before SoM.

• For the first time in years, Lee had gone home for the school year, and Luke showed up outside his school. Lee punched him in the face before hugging him. It was an entire show for the courtyard. They spent the day enjoying each other's company. At the end of it, Luke told him everything he planned on doing, and said when Kronos rose, he'd come back for Lee.

• When Luke entered Elysium, Lee refused to talk to him at all. So many of his younger siblings had entered and he was rightfully upset.

• It took them 8 months before they could even be in the same room, but Luke had changed for the better and if it wasn't doing things to Lee's unbeating heart.

• Lee fell first this time, or maybe he had never really stopped falling, and asked Luke out, asked for a second chance for them.

• Turns out, second chances are worth it sometimes. Michael's jaw dropped when he saw and ranted endlessly, but Lee was happy that Luke had changed in the end.

• "Ain't no way I DIED and you're out here FORGIVING HIM!!!" - Michael Yew

• "I LEFT MY BOYFRIEND, LEE!!!"

• "And you can wait for him, Michael."

• "Bitch."

[haeryna]

i feel like reader (especially after being called princess and the two working together to tear down her walls) would be in a dilemma— like a few things came out of them abandoning her but one being just this indescribable feeling of rage and hurt

so upon being in their hold and touch and suguru endearingly calling for her to hear them out, part of her wants to fold SO bad but the other part of her wants to stay unreasonable and not hear them out because it’s just so much easier to be angry at them and paint them as the villains in her life, if she does accept their apology she knows that feeling won’t go away— she’d have to come to terms with how bitter of a person she really was (i mean rightfully so, they did screw her over)

also bless u and ur writing— i don’t see many poly! satosugu x reader stories with a plot that has me biting my finger in absolute investment LMAO love uuuuuu 🫶🏾✨

ANON THANK YOU you perfectly summed it up !! i wanted to write a story where there was a difficult decision that had to be made, with several catalysts involving how everything went down. (splitting this so that it doesn't invade people's feeds with a wall of text LOL)

satoru's "coming out" to his parents: mine were so homophobic that i didn't come to terms with my own sexuality for a long, long time, so i empathized with the sheer panic and trauma that gave him. you don't make rational decisions when your parents are beating the shit out of you, and you also don't make rational decisions when you're 16 years old.

suguru choosing to leave reader behind: they could only withdraw so much money with the limits satoru's parents had placed on his bank account. they had to have enough to eat, to rent an apartment, to actually get away. they had to choose a place far enough so that satoru's parents wouldn't follow, which brings me to

retaliation: there's a unique kind of fear, when you're unsure if someone is hunting you down. there's a kind of terror in realizing they can track you. it's why they got rid of their phones, and immediately upon signing to the same company, received heavily protected ones. only people who had their number could reach them, or even respond.

"they could have said something:" again, they were panicked, satoru had just been beaten by his literal parents, and they were trying to flee as fast as possible. in the moment, they could not have and would not have been able to do that. as alluded to before, they did not live a comfortable life in asia. the beginning was rough as they scraped by. it wasn't until satoru began auditioning that things started looking up for them, and if you're into the kpop scene, you know how brutal training is. suguru ultimately spent all his time caring for satoru and working on the side until he also made it big.

"and what about after?:" honestly sometimes, when you know you fuck up, but you feel like you can't do anything about it anymore? that was them. and you can be upset with it all you want, but it had gotten to the point where they genuinely thought you would never be a part of their lives again. yet the chasm in their chest grew larger and larger, until they realized they couldn't continue on unless they know they at least tried.

that's not to say reader isn't in a predicament as well, like you mentioned nonnie. leaving hurts, and abandonment is worse, so it would be far easier to paint them as the bad guys. it doesn't matter what their intentions were. to reader, they left her alone, and now they're suddenly back for unknown reasons? reader is also not the most stable of mind right now (real); she's working two jobs on top of taking care of her sick parents. for the past five years, she's had to be the one taking care of herself. now satosugu need to prove that they WANT to be the ones taking care of her. i've been in this situation before, as the left party (who eventually ended up forgiving the leaver), so i hope that will help to incorporate realism into the situation.

and i'm glad you like the plot/understood the nuance of the situation! i'm grateful to you and your ask anon, thank you for allowing me to go in depth into the situation <33 i love you too!

[asktheghosthost]

The whole "Imagineering put AI art in the store" controversy has already come and gone, so I'm putting my two cents under the cut. Even though I'm super late to this, I did want to vent my frustrations since I hadn't been active in a while.

"The AI picture was just a placeholder."

Are you telling me that in a company apparently full of the best artists in the industry, you couldn't have just grabbed someone and been like, "Here's some concept art of the new attic bride we're making. Can you copy and paste that bad boy into Photoshop, put some old-timey photograph and fog effects on it, print it out, and slap it into this normal-ass picture frame we bought at Michael's? You have two days, 'kay thanks!" When you know you have some of the most anal retentive detail oriented fans on the planet? You haven't bribed every vlogger yet. Someone's going to say something.

Disney has bought outside decorations and props and repurposed them before. They've done that for decades. I'm not mad about that. What I am-- and I think others are--frustrated about is that it's taking something that everyone knows by now is sloppy, stolen "art," and placing it amongst your own original creations, thereby insinuating that you made this, you're proud of this, it rightfully belongs there. Especially when this is a company that'll sue anyone for any suspected copyright infringement in a heartbeat. I'm glad they removed it, and I'm glad they got called out on it.

On a side note, some years ago, a friend and I were at Not So Scary, browsing Memento Mori. I was shocked to spot that someone had hung some small Victorian death portraits on a back wall. And I told my buddy, "Those are actual dead people." They were really easy images to find, some of the first ones to pop up if you Google death portraits. I didn't make any kind of formal complaint or let any of the Cast Members know that I noticed, we just went on our way. The next afternoon when we were back, the pictures were gone. Do I think someone overheard me and took them down? Maybe. What I think was more likely though, is that the Disney Look crew was in that morning, saw what was very likely unapproved, unsanctioned props a cheeky Cast Member had put up, and said, "This isn't on our list of official display pieces. This must be removed now," and took them down. I used to work in Merch, and there were many times I and my friends would try to make little cute, eye-catching displays, only to be told to take them down immediately. We were not allowed to rearrange things, even if we knew from experience that it could help push sales. Can't go against "Disney look."

Funny to know that AI crap is totally within "Disney Look."

[slaymitchabernathy]

Field Mouse

It's nearly dinner time by the time he gets back from the Seam. Coriolanus walked her back to the house but he wasn't invited inside. "Next time," she'd told him, lingering in the doorway, "when my family isn't home."

He hadn't quite known how she meant that. Did her family not like Peacekeepers so she felt it was best to keep them apart? Or did she want the house to herself to do...other things? 

He was hoping for the second option. 

Smiley hopped out of the bunk the second Coriolanus walked in, "How'd it go?" Coriolanus shrugged, not wanting to give out too much information, "It went fine. I didn't know the Seam was that bad." 

His bunkmate chuckled, "Poor people in District Twelve are the poorest people in all of Panem, at least you found a pretty one."

Coriolanus hadn't thought of it that way, how Twelve was technically the bottom of the barrel when it came to the Districts, ranking all District Twelve citizens at the very bottom. Below the bottom if he was being honest. In the dirt sounded better.

He sat down on his bunk and mulled over it even more. What would his friends say if they saw him running around with some poor girl with tattered clothes and a sagging house? He'd be the laughingstock of the Capitol for sure. He'd have to keep this under wraps. He couldn't afford any loose ends if he left for the Capitol. When he left for the Capitol was more like it. He was getting out of here, one way or another. 

"They're having an officers test tomorrow if you're interested," Smiley says, pulling Coriolanus from his thoughts, "gotta be Capitol to qualify so I figured you'd be interested."

Becoming an officer meant higher rankings, it meant actual pay, a salary, and possibly being relocated to a higher-ranking District, closer to the Capitol.

It was all lining up for him. He had everything he could need right now. The girl, the job, the hope. 

"I am interested. Thanks, Smiley," he says before grabbing his towel, he ought to shower before lights out, wash all the sweat off of him. 

He could smell the whole day on him as he scrubbed himself down under the shower water, it was mostly sweat and dirt. But a hint of vanilla lingered. He'd see her again at the Hob on Friday, maybe steal a few kisses and slip his hand under her dress. 

Coriolanus fell asleep with a content smile on his lips. It was all lining up for him. Finally.

꧁ ꧂

The results from the officer's test still weren't posted. Granted it had only been two days but still! Coriolanus had been one of two people to take it and the other guy walked out halfway through it. Needless to say, he was a shoo-in. If not for his impressive skills both physically and academically, then it was by default. And he was okay with that. 

Still, it bothered him. Bothered him to the point where he'd asked Commander Hoff about it. He told Coriolanus that the test was reviewed in the Capitol so it would take about a week to get the results back. A whole week to find out if he passed even though he knows he passed. Ugh. 

He didn't let it sour his mood as he walked into the Hob though. It was Friday night and he planned on having a good time. Music was already playing and people already dancing. He scanned the crowd for Soarynn's blonde head of hair and found her dancing with her cousin Jett. Even though they were family, Coriolanus couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. She should be dancing with him. 

He pushed through the crowd towards her, leaving his friends behind as he went to claim what was rightfully his. Jett saw him before Soarynn did and he leaned down to whisper something in her ear before disappearing into the crowd. Soarynn turned around and looked up at Coriolanus, giving him a big smile, "You came!"

Coriolanus smiled back at her, that smile of hers was infectious it seemed. "I did. Hopefully, I didn't scare your cousin off."

Soarynn waved him off, "Jett's been keepin' me company till you got here. He's got his eyes set on some girl from town, keeps hopin' to bump into her but he never does. Too busy workin' I guess." 

Coriolanus couldn't help but wonder what Soarynn did for work. She hadn't really specified but she didn't look like she did a lot of hard labor from the looks of it. "You wanna dance?" She asks, taking his hand. Coriolanus looked around, it was mostly miners dancing with their girls, but he wasn't used to this dancing, it was so...District. 

He shook his head, "Let me buy you a drink." He pulled her along with him, leading them to the bar where he wrapped his arm around her, breathing in the scent of vanilla again. It used to be the smell of roses that brought him true comfort, the smell of his mother's silver compact. But that was back at home, so he'd have to settle for vanilla. 

They waited a minute for their drinks and he watched the band on stage put on quite a show. There was a girl, tan skin, dark brown curly hair wearing some ridiculous rainbow dress up there twirling around and singing. She looked over at them, taking in the pair before her eyes found Soarynn's and she playfully wiggled her eyebrows. Soarynn snorted next to him before turning to grab their drinks.

"You know her?" He asks, looking back at the girl who'd already gone back to singing. Soarynn hummed, handing him his drink and taking a sip of hers. "That's Lucy Gray Baird, she lives a couple houses down from us with the Covey." He raised his eyebrows, the Covey?

"Is that some sort of band name?" He asks, casting the band another glance. None of them looked related at all. Soarynn watched them for a moment before responding, "Kind of. They're all cousins one way or another, not all by blood like me and Jett. But they're all related some way or the other. The little one's Maude Ivory, she's got real authority." 

Coriolanus shakes his head and laughs, looking down at Soarynn, "People in District Twelve sure come up with some strange names for their children." Soarynn gave him a small grin and shrugged, "We're strange people, Coriolanus Snow," she drawls. She's got him there, and she knows it. "I could introduce y'all if you'd like," she offers. As fun as that sounds, Coriolanus isn't too keen on meeting this band of musicians. He'd like to hear some other music for a change, like Soarynn's moans. 

He shakes his head, "No thanks. I'd love to go somewhere more quiet though." She gives him a look that lets him know she's on the same page, "There's a shed out back." 

The shed is more of a shack and it's dark, but Coriolanus doesn't complain. Besides, everything more fun in the dark. Soarynn leads them to a desk in the back corner and he wastes no time in wrapping his hand around her waist, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. Soarynn responds just as eagerly if not more and her arms wrap around his neck, tugging him down to meet her height. He smirks at how low she needs him. His girl's on the shorter side, so tiny he could break her in half. 

He picks her up and sits her on the desk, her legs dangling off the edge. her hands go under his shirt, those nails scratching his back lightly, "Take it off," she whispers against his lips, tugging at the fabric. He's never been with a girl this straightforward, who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. 

He gives in to her request and his hands leave her waist to tug his shirt off, showing her his sculpted abdomen, Soarynn let out a low whistle, "My, my, they sure whipped you into shape, pretty boy." 

Coriolanus rolls his eyes before grabbing her chin with her fingers, "I'd say it's only fair if you take something else off too," he challenges. Soarynn tilts her head and gives him a smile that's all too sweet, "You can take it off," she offers, gesturing to the pink dress she's wearing tonight. It's nothing fancy, old, and worn just like her other blue dress but this one has some embroidered flowers. Doesn't really matter when it's going to be on the floor in a few seconds. 

He's quick to grab the hem of the dress and tug it off of her, baring almost all of her to him. She wearing panties, white and lacy. Her breasts are bare to him as is the rest of her torso and he finally takes all of her in. She's underfed his girl, with her ribs poking out and her waist narrow. She stiffens up when she sees him noticing her rough edges, letting him know that despite how confident she appears, she still has insecurities. 

His hands go to her breasts, the perfect size for his hands and he leans back down to kiss her, rolling her rosy buds in between his fingers. Soarynn lets out a whine and her back slightly arches into him. He wonders how long it's been since she's been touched. "You ever been with anyone before?" He mumbles, pulling away to kiss up and down her jaw. Soarynn shudders when he pinches a little harder, "Does it really matter right now?" So she has. That's fine. He likes a girl with a little experience. He just hopes Soarynn's not a proper whore who's been run through by every miner in District Twelve.

He leans down to her collarbone and sucks hard, leaving a small bruise behind when he pulls away. "Nope," he answers, knowing he's never going to get a straightforward answer from her right now. His left hand lets go of her breasts and slips down to her thighs that are pressed together for obvious reasons but she immediately spreads them when she feels his fingertips.

"I like it hard by the way," she breathes, her own hands tangled in his hair. He has to swallow after hearing that. Any Capitol girl he's been with has only wanted it sweet and slow, but he supposes that he can be rougher with District girls who are far below any Capitol girl. 

So he doesn't even take her panties off, her just tugs them to the side before wiping a finger up and down her cunt, swearing when he feels how wet she is. Her hips buck when he grazes her clit, her hands settling on his shoulders as he slowly parts her folds. He wishes he could see this, see better in the dark, but their options are limited right now and he's not one to complain when he's got a perfectly good and willing cunt right in front of him. 

For a second he wonders if that's how she views him right now. A willing hand, a willing cock. Does she do this with other guys, other Peacekeepers? Just how much honey has this little bee had? 

"Hurry," she whispers, getting him to focus once again. "You're so wet," he murmurs, teasing her entrance with his finger. Soarynn whines, her nails digging into his skin, "For fucks sake hurry up" 

He doesn't like that.

He doesn't even think before he grabs her jaw, squeezing it hard as he forces her to look up at him. "Don't tell me what to do," he snaps, shaking her head for good measure. Her hand is on his wrist in another second and she digs her nails into his skin hard, she probably drew blood. He hisses and pulls away, glaring down at her but she's already glaring up at him, "I'm not one of your Capitol girls you can boss around," she tells him, sitting back on her hands, "if you're not interested there's the door," she juts her head towards the shed door he hastily closed when they got here. 

He swallows, not used to this type of behavior from girls. "Suppose someone found you here," he says, gesturing to her current state, legs spread, cunt bared for him. She gives him a wicked grin, "They'd be welcome to have me." 

She's a hornet. Not a bee. A fucking hornet. 

He's slipping his shirt on before he knows it, not even sparing her another glance before he walks out of that shed, fuming. 

He's moving so fast that he bumps into several people and the sound of instruments falling to the ground makes him cringe. "Sorry," he says, bending down to grab the closest thing he can grab which so happens to be a guitar. "It's all right, no harm done," a girl answers him. He stands back up to find it's Lucy Gray Baird, whom he's bumped into along with the rest of the Covey who's picking up their instruments. 

She recognizes him immediately, "You were with Soarynn," she says like it's an accusation. "You're correct," he answers her. Because he was with Soarynn. As in the past tense. As in he's never going to see that little field mouse again. That mouse that likes to dance with snakes. 

Lucy Gray looks behind him like Soarynn might be hiding behind him, "Well where is she?" The little girl, Maude something or the other pushes her way to the front and looks him up and down, hands on her hips like she means business, “Are y’all together? We saw you beat up Billy Taupe the other day. He had it comin’ though.”

At least these people haven’t lost all their senses. Coriolanus glances back at the shed, no signs of life coming from it, “She’s in there,” he nods in the general direction. Lucy Gray follows his gaze and she raises her eyebrows, “Ah, the shed.” What’s that supposed to mean? Was he really not that special? Was the shed her known place to take her toys?

Coriolanus is on the verge of spiraling when Lucy Gray pulls him from his thoughts, “Well I hope y’all had fun, but too much fun.” Coriolanus wants to tell her that he’s never going to go near her friend again for the rest of his miserable Peacekeeping service but he just nods before heading back to the Hob.

Ready to forget that little field mouse.

| Part 2. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

{ Part 3. }

[yanderelovlies]

Note: So, I read this concept on A03 and have taken quite a liking to it. Though I'm tuning, it to fit my narrative for each character.

Fandom(s): SWWSDJ, DachaBo, DMC

Character(s): Sunny Day Jack, Bo, and Dante,

Sunny Day Jack

Something felt off, and Jack couldn't put his finger on it. The person he met when being freed from that hell wasn't who he was expecting. Though he wasn't even sure what he was expecting in the first place. Despite this feeling, he still treated her kindly but never got close. He would make the occasional breakfast and talk with her, but he didn't feel anything when they talked about a man named Ian. Nor did he care when another man named Shaun showed up. It felt off and wrong. However, the day he went to work with them was the day he figured out it felt this day.

"y/n Should be here shortly to help you, Jane." Barry gave them his forced smile on his hand on the door. "They are the new hire, so make sure to show them the ropes!"

Jane nodded, trying to look as professional as possible until Barry finally left. Once she was sure he was gone, she let out a sigh, leaning over the counter. "I hate training newbies..." she mumbled, waiting for you to show up.

When you came through the door, a nervous smile on your face, the world seemed slightly brighter to Jack. "Sorry I'm late! I had a bit of trouble getting here."

Jane shrugged, not seeming to pay too much mind to you. "Well, come on. I have plenty to show you "

The whole time, Jack couldn't keep his eyes off of you. His whole being screams to get closer to you. To hold you and to keep you close. He knew you wouldn't be able to see hear or feel him, but he wanted to no matter how futile it was. He now knew why being where he wasn't didn't feel right. He wasn't meant to be with Jane he was meant to be with you.

You were meant to find the tape. You were the one he was meant to fall in love. You were the one

So, while Jane showed you how to do the job, Jack would sneak in little touches and praise even when you couldn't feel them. He needed more.

When yours and Jane's shift finished and you went your separate ways. Jack kept thinking about you, and when he got home with Jane, he tucked up in bed. He moved the VHS tape, where it was laid by the TV, and put it into Jane's bag.

He WILL make sure you get it tomorrow so he can be where he rightfully belongs. by your side.

Bo

Bo got along with John well enough. The two of them talked and enjoyed each other's company, but it stopped that odd feeling Bo had. Like this wasn't where he was meant to be, but that didn't make sense? where else was he supposed to be besides his best friends side?

"Hey you wanna see the new friend I made?"

The sound of John's voice made Bo perk up. He enjoyed it when his friend came home, and it made him feel less alone.

"Uh, sure? it's not some sketchy person, right?"

The sound of a new voice REALLY peaked Bo's interest. It sounds nice and melodic. He could listen to it 24/7 and never grow tired of it. Bo got super excited when he heard John scoff closer to his device.

"Since when I have I introduced you to shady people?" There was silence before a John sigh."Come here and let me show you." He turned on Bo's device, making the world around him brighten up, and he could finally see John again.

"Hey buddy! how was work?"

John smiled. "Good! Actually I have a friend I want to show you to!"

Bo watched the world on the other side move as John handed the device to someone else. When your face came into view, Bo could feel everything stop. His tail was wagging as his breath shortened. Where have you been all his life?

The more he talked to you throughout the day, the more in love he had become. He began to realize why things with John didn't feel like they should. He was never meant to be with John he was meant to be with you.

After a couple hours of flirts and talking, you finally had to head home for the night. It pained Bo to hear you leave, but he felt the more he thought of his plan. Soon, he will be out of John's hands and into yours.

Dante Sparda

Dante has been through many things in his long life, so it was quick for him to sense if things were wrong, and when he woke up that morning, things definitely felt off.

He got up like he normally did. Tried to take a shower before realizing the water was off and the bill was due like he normally did. He even threw on his clothes with a grumble as he made his way downstairs like he normally did.

However, when he faced his desk was where things felt off. Sitting there was a dark-haired mom looking through the bills before looking at her phone. "I'm trying to get a hold of the companies. Why didn't you tell me they were due?!"

He shrugged. "I left them on the desk." He blinked a couple of times. That didn't feel natural. Like his movements and words aren't his own.

"Yeah, well, you could have told me." Before he could respond, the woman got up from her seat, putting the phone to her ear. "Hi, I'm calling to get electricity back on at Devil May Cry?" Her voice faded as he went outside the door, shutting behind her.

That was how the rest of the day went for Dante, and it was starting to freak him out. It seems like it's been this way from he talks with the woman. He found out her name it Norma.

Yet it all didn't feel right to him. It was like it was all off with Norma being there. However, since he wasn't able to prove anything, he went about his day as normal.

Night had rolled around, letting Norma leave for the night, and Dante louging with his feet up on the desk. Not expecting much before bed, Dante let out a loud yawn when his front door opened slowly.

When you walked in it was like the world stopped. despite your almost frantic state, he felt like he was meeting an angel.

"Are you in charge of Devil May Cry?"

God, even your voice sounded melodic. "Yeah. the names Dante. How can I help?"

Even though it was business, the two of you were talking he couldn't help but feel like it was right. Like you were always supposed to be here in Devil May Cry, but by so.e twist of fate you weren't.

Dante was gonna fix that. No matter what it took.

[mr-celestial-writings]

Haunted House

Pairing: Stephanie "Steph" Brown x GN! Reader

Summary: A Haunted house has opened up in Gotham for the season. After Double and Triple Checking that it wasn't a rouge's attempt at Chaos, Steph decided to drag you along.

Trigger Warnings: None!

================================================

You loved Steph, really you did. But sometimes you have trouble keeping up with her. She has so much energy, and you swear she bounces around conversation topics like a rubber ball on concrete.

Today was one of those days where you were trying to keep up with her, but you couldn't figure out the point.

"Steph, Stephie-" She kept talking, so you grabbed her shoulders, "Stephanie! The point? Please?"

Steph's eyes went wide, "Ah! Right! Sorry babe... But anyways! A new haunted house opened up! You're coming with me!" She declared.

You took a moment to process what she said.

"Steph, are you sure that a haunted house... in Gotham, is a good idea?" You ask.

You were cautious, rightfully so. In a city where there's a crime prince of crime and a former psychologist who dresses as a scarecrow and gases people... You don't exactly have the most faith in a haunted house.

"Yeah! I mean, if it wasn't, Batman would have shut it down by now!" Steph assured.

She and the rest of her family investigated not only the haunted house itself, but also the company behind it. It was all good, all the way up the chain! She just really wanted to go with you!

You gave her a smile, "Alright then, let's go."

Steph lit up. She grabbed your wrist and began dragging you to the haunted house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took about 30 minutes for you two to reach the haunted house. A line was already starting to form.

"Alright, here's the plan! I'll go grab our tickets and you secure our place in line!" Steph grinned.

You nodded, "Sounds good to me! Don't take to long." You placed a kiss to her cheek before heading off to stand claim your place in line.

It was a couple minutes before Steph rejoined you, tickets in hand. You smiled softly at her.

"Man, I can not remember the last time I actually went to a haunted house." Steph said, her excitement infection.

"Me neither, Gotham ruined the very concept for me." You said with a soft laugh.

The line was moving slowly forward. You and Steph spent the time chatting until it was your turn to go through.

Hand-in-hand, you entered the Haunted House.

It was cheesy. Obviously fake props, the scare actors were having fun. The decorations were cheap too... But it was safe.

Some cheap scares got the two of you both, so you and Steph took turns clinging to eachother.

You two laughed when you made it out.

"We should do that again sometime." You said, Steph nodded in agreement.

================================================

a/n: fun fact about me: I'm a coward. I cannot stand going to haunted houses or haunted trails. I prefer my horror movies and ghost hunting videos thank you very much.

Also, I'm really hyped to write for the bat-girls. They deserve just as much love as the rest of the family.

[thenotebookwizard]

First Fandom

A few years ago, I would have sworn up and down my first real fandom was Star Trek.

It makes sense. After all, I overcame my dyslexia and learned to read so I could read my mother's Star Trek novels. Pocket Books was churning them out back in the day, and i wanted to read them. She'd read me bits of a few of them, and I wanted more.

I loved watching the show - though that was mostly re-runs.

So, sitting on the floor at the foot of Mom & Dad's water bed, trading correctly read sentences for M&Ms, my mother and I battled. Fought. Yelled. Screamed. Cried. I didn't want to (until I did) and she knew I had to. Once we started using a Star Trek novel, I got much better, much faster.

The first book I ever read was The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah, and it's a book I own many copies of for sentimental purposes.

The first thing I remember writing was in elementary school, and it was a Star Trek story. My uncle let me read his old fanzines. I was on Star Trek BBSes. I had a notebook of Star Trek stories and notes and ideas.

Whelp.

A few years ago, the subject of me, fandom, and fanfic came up. My father (rightfully) pointed out my fandom is my mother's fault, because of Star Trek, and that I ship characters is also her fault. (My mother shipped Gabrielle and Xena and would fight you if you argued with her.)

And I nodded along. "Ayep," I said, "Star Trek is where it began. My first fandom and my first fanfic."

Turns out, I was wrong. My first fanfic and my first fandom were Winnie the Pooh. Smol me had thrown a fit at a shopping mall one weekend, and the only thing that made me happy was a stuffed bear.

Something similar to this one, I believe.

Well, my parents got me that silly old bear and he was my constant companion until it was no longer deemed 'appropriate' for a boy to carry around a stuffed animal anymore. (I frankly don't see the issue, but whatever. I'm still kinda salty about it I guess. Huh. Anyway.)

My father, being my father, decided to read me every story of Winnie the Pooh he could find, including a more modern copy of this book:

I watched all the movies. I watched all the animated movies. I have not seen the 2018 Christopher Robin (yet).

And, at some point, smol me ended up at my Dad's office. In those days, everyone had secretaries, because computers hadn't been really adopted yet, and there was a lot of paperwork to do by hand or by typewriter. Now, my father's secretary was an amazing woman who treated my Dad's kids like she liked us (I'd like to think she actually did) and I know she was very patient with us.

I know this, because she apparently typed a Winnie the Pooh story I dictated to her. Eight pages of Pooh and company negotiating with the bees for fair use and sharing of honey (hunny) and making sure the bees were safe from 'the bad guys' through vague but apparently effective means.

He has this story - my very first fanfic - saved in a file cabinet. In the same file folder I brought it home in.

It appears my mother's frustration with me wanting to be a writer were in vain. I started writing before I could read and had stories in my head before I read my first book.

[bumblebeehug]

Lovely Seasons - Autumn

Summary: Happy takes a moment to observe his two best friends. Notes: Don't quote me on any hedgehog-facts Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 of the Lovely Seasons series Ao3

***

Happy felt his fur rising as the cool wind grabbed hold on the three friends. He definitely should have put some more clothes on, since his winter fur hadn’t grown in properly yet. Still though, here they were, in Natsu’s and Happy’s back yard, late in October.

Lucy had initially come over in order to tidy up their house and to hang out, but she didn’t even get inside before she started working. She wasn’t expecting their garden to be as overgrown and messy as it was - to be fair, the only time Natsu and Happy even looked at their land was to see if anything had magically grown during the summer. The last time it got remotely taken care of was when Lucy took the lead late in June, but by then most plants had already gotten quite deep roots, so she tried giving Natsu “homework” to fix it before she came over. As if that would ever happen.

She had been clearing the flower bed for almost an hour before Natsu came out to look. He had been expecting her to at least pop in to say hi before complaining about the condition of his home, so as he waited he had decided to take a nap. To say the least, he got quite an earful when he greeted her, Lucy sighing and complaining about Natsu’s “forgetful nature”. Happy was laughing like a fool - he flew out to say hi to Lucy the second he saw her from the window, so he was in the clear of any scolding.

“I cannot believe you!” Lucy’s eyebrows were close together in a fierce frown, but Natsu could see a slight grin in the corner of her mouth. “Didn’t I tell you to fix this place? You’ve got so much space and healthy soil here, do you know how much money you could be saving from groceries?”

Natsu grinned gleefully, scratching the back of his neck.

“I forgot. You’re never here anyways, so I didn’t think you’d notice.” He really wished she could come by more often though. He liked having her company, and if they were at his place she couldn’t kick him out if he annoyed her too much. Besides, Lucy coming over gave him more reason to actually keep the place tidy. He would also light the fireplace more often - as a fire mage he never needed to do that, since the house always was warm enough with him just being there, but even if he’d never tell anyone about it, he loved the cosy mood that the fireplace gave.

“Well if me coming here is all it takes for you to take your home seriously I might have to step by a few times a week. Do you know how many people there are that would kill for their own house and a big garden to take care of?” Lucy’s frown had disappeared, but her arms were still crossed to mark her slight annoyance.

Natsu just grinned. He knew that she was jealous, and rightfully so, knowing how tough it was to pay rent to an annoying landlord every month. A landlord who would do almost anything to get rid of you, to add.

“You could always move in with us,” he half-joked. Lucy would probably rather have a one-on-one fight with Erza than to live with a man before marriage, but Natsu knew that his offer was tempting. “But you’d have to deal with the stench from Happy’s fish-stash.”

“Yeah no, fat chance,” she scoffed, turning her back to return to her digging.

“Rude!” Happy exclaimed. His fish was always fresh and of highest quality - with his trained nose he could smell bad fish immediately. “He’s right though Lushy! You make yummier food than Natsu, and maybe he’d get a proper bed if you lived here!”

Lucy just shook her head, desensitised to their pleads. They sounded the exact same when they wanted to fill Erza’s dorm with worms, so she knew they were being unreasonable. Though, the offer was tempting. No money would go to rent or heating, and they could use that extra money to renovate any rotten parts of the house. Before she got too convinced to accept the offer, she grabbed a rake and started raking up leaves, earning a tired look from Natsu. Yard work was boring enough for him to experience the most tear jerking yawn in history, probably.

Happy watched as Lucy made their lawn more pleasing. She looked serious yet happy, despite acting angry at Natsu. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail to keep it out of her face, and maybe to hide the fact that it was a bit greasy. It still looked good though, and she was dressed in a big warm jacket and a warm chequered scarf that was wrapped twice around her neck. Happy thought it looked a bit suffocating, but he knew he was in no place to comment on it, since he was freezing a bit himself in today’s weather. Lucy still wore the minimal amount of clothing needed on her legs, standing in one of her short skirts and a pair of tights underneath them. Good thing she was moving, because that looked cold. Natsu stood behind her, arms crossed in lack of any instructions. He was dressed as usual, even sporting the slippers on bare feet - in his defence he thought Lucy would come in when he went out to greet her. It didn’t matter thanks to his warm nature, but it was seriously unsettling to see that outfit a day like this. Well, Happy was used to it, but it still looked silly.

“Heeeey…” Natsu moaned, not too pleased with today’s chores. “Do we have to do this now? Aren’t you cold?” As he complained he started leaning on Lucy, making her lose her balance for a split second.

“Heey, yes we have to do this now. It won’t be cold if I keep moving.” Lucy groaned slightly as Natsu continued leaning against her, with more weight now. “Besides, don’t you want to make autumn cosy for the hedgehogs?”

Natsu’s interest piqued slightly.

“Well how do I do that?” He mumbled, standing back up on his own legs. Lucy smiled a little. Natsu never said no to helping animals, unless he could eat them - then he hunted them.

“Well you see, if we rake all the leaves in your garden and leave them in a big pile, the hedgehogs can dig through them and live there for some nights. The leaves work as insulation, so when their body heat radiates off of them, they’ll have a nice warm room to sleep in!” Lucy explained, getting a bit excited herself. “We can also leave out wet cat food and water, if it’s above freezing temperatures at night. That way it will be like a bed & breakfast!”

Natsu looked really excited. Calling it a bed & breakfast was definitely stretching the truth, but it was enough for Natsu to feel motivated to help her. He grabbed another rake and started working, making sure to get every single leaf. Happy, who still felt colder than he would like, flew into Natsu’s scarf, stretching his body over his neck. It made the work a bit harder for Natsu, now that he couldn’t freely move his neck and shoulders, but the work got done nevertheless. A big pile of yellow, orange, red and brown leaves stood in the middle of Natsu’s backyard, high and proud. Lucy had worked up a sweat and wiped her brow with the back of her hand.

“It turned out great!” Lucy beamed, looking at their work.

“But how do hedgehogs live in there? They don’t have rooms or anything!” Happy puzzled, now waking up from his short nap.

Natsu lit up with an idea.

“Happy, you go in there and make rooms for them! It’ll be the perfect size, and Lucy and I can make little doors!” Before Lucy could protest, Happy had already gotten thrown into the pile of leaves.

“Wait, you’ll mess it all up! Stop this!” Lucy tried to grab Happy, but somehow he was already lost in there. She could hear snickering but no matter how many times she stuck in her arms, he always seemed to be too fast.

“Now you’re the one messing up,” Natsu snickered, getting kind of impressed by how fast the leaves returned to their original position, spreading out all over the lawn again.

Lucy, who got annoyed over how things turned out, could only grab a handful of leaves and throw them in Natsu’s face in an attempt to wipe that grin off. One throw led to another, and soon enough leaves were flying around as the two mages tried to smash the biggest amount of dirty wet leaves in the other party’s face. Happy, who no longer had a pile of leaves to hide in, had flown to the side so he could brush off the worst of the dirt. Laughter and yelps of surprise filled the air as Lucy and Natsu chased each other down. To their defence, leaves were no easy weapons, especially when the wind managed to make every throw into a curveball.

As Happy watched them, he caught himself with a huge smile. Natsu and Lucy were always so fun to be with - never had he felt seriously bored or upset with them. Natsu could be called a mastermind with his great creativity. He was more cunning than he himself understood, solving many fights by using his head to find loopholes with enemies. He also always made sure the three of them had something to do. While Lucy could entertain herself with a book, the boys rarely found themselves satisfied with such mellow activities. And that was where Natsu came in, often dragging them out on new adventures of all sorts. If the guild wasn’t open with missions, he’d take them to the park, or the mountains, or maybe the ocean if he could bear with the train ride. All of these adventures always ended up to be so fun, Happy found. They could be a bit scary at times, raising their adrenaline, but they always managed to get out safely. After all, Natsu would always protect them from any possible dangers. If you asked him, he’d probably claim it was his job, though Lucy would disagree. Lucy’s greatness didn’t come from her creativity. Well, some of it did, but that wasn’t what Happy liked most about her. In Happy’s eyes, Lucy was the definition of safety, believe it or not. Natsu might be the one that took the most pride in protecting them all, but he was also the one that most times put them in danger. Lucy on the other hand brought comfort in the calmer parts of Happy’s life. Early mornings and late evenings were glazed with Lucy’s stories from her childhood, as she told them about the small things that made her life in the mansion manageable. She would tell them about her mother’s early morning walks, and Natsu would make it a habit to open a window to let the fresh morning air in. Lucy would describe the tea that Layla drank when she felt drained from her hectic life, and then she would serve it after dinner, when the birds had quieted down outside. Even without focusing on the calm attributes Lucy had, Happy still loved her presence. When Natsu did or said stupid things, Happy could joke about it with Lucy and she’d be completely on Happy’s side, even furthering the joke at Natsu’s expense. Other times Lucy would do the stupid thing herself, and thanks to their deep bond Happy could joke about it without any hard feelings. Her reactions to the crazy daily lives they led, were big and raw and frankly, quite hilarious. Even after being a guild mage for many years, she found a lot of things baffling. Maybe it was the way someone talked, or maybe it was a fact about a big animal that roamed the forests. Her emotions had always been perfectly in tune with Happy and Natsu, and Happy could only love her for it. He had never laughed as loud as he had with Lucy, and he never slept as good as he did in Lucy’s bed, in between her and Natsu.

So watching them play around like this in the murky nature, truly filled Happy’s heart. He knew they cared deeply about each other - they cared about Happy too, just not in the same way. While Lucy would look at Happy with love and affection, she’d gaze at Natsu with longing, admiration and pure joy. She looked at Natsu with so many emotions that only calling it love would be dull in comparison. Natsu would be tender and kind to Happy, making sure he felt seen and loved at every possible moment, but the way he treated Lucy was once again beyond those actions. They’d be soft, slow, attentive, and they’d hold fondness, devotion and respect like none other. Happy knew about their feelings towards each other, but he chose not to say anything. Not because he didn’t want them to get together - he just knew that they’d find the right way eventually. The occasional “he liiiiikes you” would of course slip out in a playful manner, but since the joke had run empty for a long time it never seemed to bother anyone.

As the laughter quieted down, Happy started paying attention to the mages again. It looked like Lucy had called time out, as she stood catching her breath and reaching down into her collar to scoop out the wet leaves Natsu had managed to get in there.

“Can we continue with the cleaning up tomorrow?” Natsu asked, no longer feeling up to recreating the hedgehog-bed & breakfast. “I bet you wanna wash off.”

Sneaky move, Happy thought, since Natsu knew how much Lucy loved long, warm showers - especially after getting cold and dirty like this.

“... Fine. But tomorrow we get the garden ready for winter, I don’t want to come here in spring and look at a jungle.” She tried to look strict, but after playing and laughing like this, not even she could pretend to be mad. “Let’s make some tea as well.”

Natsu flung an arm around Lucy’s shoulder as they went into the house, Happy flying in shortly after. Whenever Natsu and Lucy were ready to confess their feelings for each other, Happy would be there with unwavering support, but for now he didn’t mind waiting around. After all, hanging out with each other brought all the happiness and comfort the three of them needed.

[thenixkat]

superheroes well known for being easily lead or inspired by a singular person

its not like they're famous for popping up largely independently and doing their own thing for years before even running into another superhero even if there's multiple running around the same city

so the writer has made Superman's second coming the second coming of Christ and thus the kickstarter to the end of the world b/c… that says great things about superheroes in yer superhero book

again very heavy Christian themes that i dont care for and don't mean anything good for this lackluster story

are we gonna pretend that there arent superheroes like Praxis running around in teh main DC universe at the time who was just as openly racist as this ultra patriotic 'superhero' here?

like, just, Superman and the like dont give a shit mostly about the dark edgy superheroes in teh mainstream DC universe except for stories not unlike this where the main thing is criticizing the fuckers.

oh no the bystanders! It not like I've read a story featuring SUperman being perfectly fine with demolishing peoples' homes on account of he can just rebuild shit later

i think this writer might be unaware of all the fuckers who died or got maimed or injured in normal superhero fights back in the day just cause the artists and writers never showed the collateral because superman was neccessary for all these heroes who started independently of him to get off their asses and protect more than just one small area

b/c we all know that SUperman is the bestest best boy in the universe and every hero needs him as inspiration to be heroic Fascinating how Red Robin is shown as one of the good heroes of yester year when he's rightfully contemporary of Lightning, Black Lightning's daughter shown as one of these reckless youthful metas with no morals

it's not escaped me that all of our great heroes of yesteryear are white. And a good chunk of our amoral young metas are notwhite, and also the majority of heroes that were aquired from other companies. Strange that~ Totally a coincidence and not something to look into

I just kinda hate this story. I dont think its good. It's giving 'the good old days'/Make DC Great Again vibes. The only reason I picked it up is to get more info on Ted in this universe b/c the wording on his beetle armor has me unclear if its actually armor made by Khaji Da or just powered by it

and of course fuckers pulling a Batman and acting like fuckers need to be sanctioned by them to be allowed to be superheroes b/c that's how superheroes work

Batman's mansion is run down. His identity got exposed a while ago. The Batcave is half flooded

actions to disparage the amoral youthful heroes for: Blowing up the torture prisons where supervillains get turned into slaves with bombs implanted in their heads and normal criminals get lobotomized

sure they should not have also killed the prisoners. But destroying the prisons? go for it

also love how stories of this type always play the superheroes as the problem. Due to wro

ng methods and shit when superheroes are largely just a symptom of the issues plaguing society as much as the crime they fight

less crime would mean less superheroing of all regards, less poverty and war and shit would mean less crime but also just saying that more metahumans is just going to lead to shit going to shit is just such a bad message for a superhero comic given how much of folks becoming metas is a stress response and/or saying that superheroes shouldn't breed b/c their superhuman offspring will fuck shit up

yeah Batman generally seems inclined to turn shit into a police state in his brand of superheroing like that's good

helpful or desirable and Bruce calling Clark out for his tendency to turn totalitarian when shit goes sour

like both of you are terrible in yer own ways

i feel like Green Arrow and Blue Beetle should not get along as well as they keep being shown too in shit like this just cause they're teh same type of superhero. Especially Mr. Problems with authority Blue Beetle

why are yall relying on Batman's plans yall are just as smart if not smarter and way better with people

I hate this story so much. Both Superman AND Batman were the bestest of the best the pinnacle of superheroing. Makes me want fucking vomit

also I love how often Wonder Woman is just fucking chopped liver in the stories like this that ride Batman and Superman's dicks they're getting paid for it Dr. Mid-Nite can fly??

like for some reason Diana isn't allowed to be the pinnacle of paragon or truth or justice and has to try convincing Superman to lead them all into a better future and how she just dips into bloodlust when things go poorly like…

Also none of the younger new heroes are allowed to be viewpoint characters yet b/c this is a propaganda piece an we cant humanize the fuckers we wish to disparage

we get supervillains, the old guard supervillains of course, as viewpoints b4 we get any of the youth that's being disparaged

It's also 90% white in this old guard important villain's meeting.

so a good chunk of these amoral young metas are villains

a group of mostly white elderly villains actively making shit worse, to provoke a war between regular people and super people b/c sure people will somehow benefit

[s10127470]

How To Fix Nickelodeon

Sure just about all of you reading this are familiar with Nickelodeon.

Out of the big three kids networks (alongside Cartoon Network and Disney Channel), it was perhaps the biggest of them.

Hell, it's most famous slogan was "the first network made for kids, by kids!"

And while the big three kids networks have been rapidly floundering in recent years (with the unfortunate rise of streaming), Nickelodeon has undoubtedly been floundering the hardest.

In fact, they've been washed up for the better of 15 years!

And for a variety of reasons.

-The somewhat pathetic line-up of sitcoms and Nicktoons since 2009......

-The fact that damn near all of them were hardly even given a chance to shine before Nickelodeon just decided smothered them in broad daylight......

-Their rapidly declining relevancy (once again, largely thanks to their laughable output of shows and the fact that they hardly got to even leave an impact on the network).......

-The behind-the-scenes drama and horror stories about some the biggest names working there not being able to control themselves around women, and more specifically, children.....

And most importantly of all.....

-Their over-reliance on SpongeBob SquarePants......

As a result of this, I've been thinking to myself on how this network could even be saved.

And I think I have a couple ideas on how it could.

So without further ado, let's get right into it!

CUT THE DAMN SPONGEBOB AND GIVE THE OTHER SHOWS SPOTS ON THE SCHEDULE!:

This one honestly goes without saying.

While SpongeBob shouldn't be cut from the schedule entirely (that's going too far), it does seriously need to be cut down a bit.

Same also applies to The Loud House, though not as much.

Along with that, actually have your new shows air on the goddamn network instead of just dumping them onto Paramount+.

Actually promote your programming and new shows:

Once again, this really goes without saying.

Like seriously, why would you create a new show and then not bother to even promote the damn thing?

And then when it ends up failing, you're looking dumbfounded, wondering what went wrong!

Stop doing the live-action:

Now this point seems rather ludicrous given how much it has played a major part in the channel's history.

But may I remind you that just last year, we got this....

The impact of this documentary cannot be understated.

This was the first time that the much wider general public were informed about the dark side of Nickelodeon, especially when it came to the treatment of their child actors.

And as a result of this, I highly doubt Nickelodeon will EVER be trusted again when it comes to live-action.

I don't think they'll ever be willing do to any live-action again, given how much they've been getting rightfully cooked for their recently-exposed dark history.

Greenlight any potentially interesting Nicktoons:

The Nicktoons line-up during the 1990s and the 2000s was renowned for how diverse it was.

But when the 2010s rolled around, that all kinda fell off a cliff.

While not all of their line-up was this (the TMNT shows, The Legend of Korra, Harvey Beaks, etc.), a good chunk of the 2010s line-up were incredibly zany and hyperactive comedies.

And as a result of this, a lot of these tended to blend together, even if they did have unique art-styles from each other.

Not helped with the fact that these shows, in all honesty, we're not really good.

Even the comedies that weren't as zany or hyperactive still fell into the blending together problem since just like those ones, they were not really all that good.

In fact, some of them were just straight up horrible.

One must wonder why Nickelodeon had most of their Nicktoons of the 2010s consist of zany comedies.

Well, many people have theorized that this was done in an attempt to create the next SpongeBob.

And while that most likely is the case, I think there's a much deeper reason for it.

If you know Nickelodeon, you'd know that the company has a pretty impressive track record of passing up shows that would go on to become big (or at least decent) hits elsewhere.

Among these shows include VeggieTales, The Proud Family, Super Why!, Phineas and Ferb, Ed, Edd n' Eddy, Pepper Ann, and most famously of all.....

If you know the history of Adventure Time, then you'd know how much Nickelodeon has played a massive part of it.

The original pilot premiered on Nicktoons Network back in January 2007, and most famously of all, was pitched to Nickelodeon in 2008.......twice!

Unfortunately, it got rejected both times, with the main reason being that they considered it "too weird"......

Put apparently this wasn't?!

While I do think that Adventure Time was definitely better off not being picked up by Nickelodeon, this was still a GENERATIONAL fumble on their part, given how massive the show was and how influential it was for television animation as a whole!

And given that Adventure Time would help kick-start Cartoon Network's renaissance of the early-to-mid 2010s, plus the fact that many of their most successful shows were comedies.

(Also I think the channel were doing the best in terms of ratings at that time)

It feels like Nickelodeon were desperately trying to play catch-up with Cartoon Network.

Plus trying to overcompensate for passing up on Adventure Time, given how zany and surreal the early seasons were.

Like, you'd know damn well that Nick were probably beating themselves up after seeing how huge Adventure Time became.

And that they choose Fanboy & Chum Chum over it!

Actually, you remembered that post I made around November, where I questioned why damn near none of the 2010s Nicktoons ever get any representation in crossovers or other Nickelodeon promotional stuff?

Well, in the case of Fanboy & Chum Chum, I believe they don't ever want to mention or acknowledge that show because it's essentially a reminder of one of the biggest mistakes in their entire history.

But anyway, Nickelodeon really needs to start greenlighting shows that stand out from each other again.

Because how could you expect to be successful if all the shows are essentially the same?

Especially in an age where people are getting sick of the same old routine and shows/movies playing it safe.

Fixing Nicktoons Network:

The story of this network is truly a tragic one.

Once being the place where the Nicktoons of the past could continue to live on, its now become the place where Nicktoons in general go to DIE!

Infamously, just about every Nicktoon in the last 18 years have been sent to Nicktoons during the latter halves of their runs to essentially burn out.

As if cancelling these shows after two seasons wasn't already a dick move.

Sending them to die onto a paid channel (i.e.: one that usually doesn't come with whatever television service you get and you have to buy it separately) is just a MEGA dick move.

And as for showing the Nicktoons of the past....

Yeah, slowly over the course of the 2010s, Nicktoons would start phasing out airing reruns of the past Nicktoons.

And now, it's just Nickelodeon 2.0.

Only airing whatever current programming they have and having SpongeBob and Loud House take up 97% of the damn schedule.

Nicktoons was also renowned for also for having tons of acquired and original programming to keep things fresh between the Nicktoon reruns.

But just like those, they would also get phased out as well.

So with all that being said, knowing how to fix this channel is quite easy.

-Bring back the reruns of past Nicktoons.

-Bring back the acquired and original programming.

-Keep the reruns of the current Nicktoons, but once again, scale back on the SpongeBob and Loud House.

Fixing TeenNick:

If you thought what happened to Nicktoons Network was depressing, then look at what happened to TeenNick!

TeenNick essentially served as the Nickelodeon for tweens and teenagers.

But just like Nicktoons, they've moved far past that original goal.

And now the only things there are reruns of two sitcoms from the 2010s (The Thundermans and Henry Danger), two of their current Nicktoons (Loud House and Max & the Midknights), and the two live news and sports shows that nobody cares about.

Just like with Nicktoons Network, bring back the programming TeenNick was known for, that being the reruns of live-action Nickelodeon shows, MTV shows, and acquired live-action programming like Degrassi.

Make the Channels Free on Live TV:

It's no surprise to just about all of you that cable is basically DEAD.

And streaming has practically become Satan for all forms of media entertainment.

However, one major way people have been watching shows now that hasn't really been getting any scrutiny is Live TV.

Largely thanks to the fact that it comes free with whatever streaming service your get.

However, there is a catch to this.

Channels like Nickelodeon, while on there, require subscriptions in order to watch.

And I must ask....

What sense does that make?!

You're literally just denying yourself any potential viewership!

And you're already not making any with cable is....

Like I said, cable is DEAD!

Your abysmal line-up of programming and scheduling.

But anyway, just add Nickelodeon, Nicktoons Network and TeenNick for free Live TV and you'll be golden!

Anyway, that's all I have to say.

This is something I've been thinking about ever since Cartoonshi made his The DEATH of Nickelodeon video.

And ever since watching that, it got me thinking on how the network could possibly be saved.

Anyway, let me know what you think about my ideas and if you could, send me some suggestions on what you think could save Nickelodeon.

And before I go, these are the logos Nick should be using from now on.

Which were done by ABFan21.

[randomnameless]

Glancing at something on Ao3 -

What kind of feelings Jerry was supposed to evoke, actually?

FE16 pushes the player - through Billy - to consider Jerry as a good parent, because it plays with the red herring about the evil lizard lady being evil.

And yet, even with all of his misgivings about his kid, Jerry is still the one who calls Flamey's bullshit and wonders if running away from GM wasn't the stupidest decision he ever made, just before kicking the bucket.

Being the cheap copy of the Ike'n'Greil relationship, Jerry's presence and death is supposed to be important to Billy - even in Tru Piss where they look pissed at seeing Emile and working with Uncle'n'pals.

And yet, unlike what we learn about Greil being the chadest amongst chads with 1 (one!) blackspot to his record, whenever you talk to characters about Jerry you're met with... less than rosy thoughts, even if the characters apparently handwave it away.

Let it be with Leonie, or even Alois, Billy learns that their dad wasn't the chadest of chads like Greil, but a drunkard (before Citrus' death, since Alois was a kid!) who apparently played dangerous games with people who idolised him, left his kid alone to be showered with praise by Leonie's village as he dealt with bandits, and left bar tabs all around the continent for his "apprentices" to pay.

Come the "journal" where, imo, we learn that dude was so afraid of his baby not being "normal" than he ran away from the odd lady who saved them "a long time" ago and who's pretty much not normal himself, and the place where his own wife, who displayed - partly - the same "abnormality" as their baby grew up and lived.

Then Nopes happened and did a number on poor Jerry - from mocking their kid's potential aspirations at being something else than a sword for hire, to their singing (done to cheer him up!) and actually learning he at times apparently let them go without food while he never invited them to the "thank you" parties throwns by the people his company saved...

Billy still loves their dad, but is he a good dad by any means?

With all that knowledge, after playing both FE16 and Nopes, can we really feel upset when Jerry kicks the bucket? For Billy maybe, because Jerry is important for them, but does it has the same echo as Greil's death, or even, to remain in Fodlan, Rodrigue's?

I guess if in Nopes, Jerry acted on his heel-face turn (or suddenly growing a brain) from his penultimate FE16 dialogue, we could have had a character growing beyond the red herring and the "unreliable narrator" stuff FE16's first part gave us, and maybe make for a more grounded-complete character, like confessing that he panicked after Citrus' death and worried for Billy, but regrets not being able to bring them the best life they dreamt of, and willing to apologise and let Billy grow in the same environment Citrus did.

Or maybe even explore what Jerry did in 300 years, if he never bothered to wonder why the fuck was he living to be as old as the elites, or his thoughts and feelings about Rhea periodically using hairdye to pretend to be someone else and "aging" even less than him...

Given how - or maybe i'm tainted by the fandom - FE16 thrived on the playerbase feeling characters/situation "relatable" from a doylist pov, I guess Jerry running away with bby!Billy because they weren't "normal" wasn't as weird as it sounds, babies should rightfully have a beating heart!

Bernie is a hikkikomori (forget the part where she's supposed to be the heir of one of the most important lands in Adrestia which would rightfully make her father disappointed with her (lbr, Greg would either have tried to get another kid with Bernie's mom, or got a second wife/bastard, or picked a branch member of his house to take his succession), Linhardt falls asleep and doesn't want to do his job as the next minister of Finances/whatever his dad does and prefers to hyperfocus on academic research ? How lol (please ignore the implications of House Hervring's heir being, uh, not interested in whatever his father does and how he is supposed to inherit his job (at least before Supreme Leader starts her war and pulls out her "reforms")).

Between the brackets are the first arguments that come to mind, if we consider the world those characters live in, aka Watsonian wise.

Jerry is worried about his baby's heart not beating and them not being normal? Jerry, you're not "normal" per Fodlan's standards yourself, you're over 300! Your wife had the same difficulties to emote than your kid and she might or not have had the same "heart not beating" syndrome given how it's her own heart that was transplanted in your kid

You know that what is "normal" for regular humans in Fodlan do not apply to you, your wife or your boss who oddly looks like your wife. So why was that argument even considered when you decided to run away and condemn your child to a life of "sword for hire" and danger at each day ending with a -y ?

IDK, it's as if, in BK, Kalas' bro, born without wings - which is an oddity since apparently everyone is born with some in this verse - finds Kalas weird for only having "one wing" and not two like everyone. It would be the pot calling the keetle back (but since BK is a game with coherent writing, this never happened).

Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby isn't normal despite the midwife assuring everyone they are?

Legit

300 yo Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby has the same condition as their mother despite the "immortal lady who saved his life" assuring him the baby is alright?

WTF

So, in the end, what are we supposed to think of Jerry?

Was he a character who made the best situation out of the shitty cards he was handed regarding their kid?

Or a character who swallowed an idiot plot ball to play with the doylist red herring, made errors but ultimately saw the light before being Clownya'd?

Or, given his supports and Nopes, a shitty character whose only redeeming point is to be Billy's dad, and who receives a lot of leeway by virtue of being Billy's dad by the writing team (given two fans) and the first game being from Billy's POV?

[momo-de-avis]

Fun story. Sometime last year I started with a company that assigned random tour guiding jobs and eventually I got a gig with an australian company that did the same shit every year. Clients arrive in PT through madrid. My job was to give them a walk tour of Lisbon and Belém. This day it turned out I had a surprise: there was a second group I did not know existed, and which I had not been informed of, who needed to meet with my group at X hours in Lisbon. They had a second guide with them I didn't know who it was and had no contact with. The Tour Leader (TL), who has a cabbage for a brain, instead of giving me the tour guide's contact as I requested, called the second tour leader who put the tour guide on the phone to then speak with me through my tour leader's phone, which has to be the most complicated method imaginable. A point to note here is that the other guide was super difficult. He refused to find a solution with me because "he was not told what to do" and I eventually had to force him to accept a conclusion bc idk this fucker couldn't solve a very simple problem.

This is a bus gig. I'd never done buses before but I'd done Belém plenty of times and was pretty comfortable. All I had to do was pick up a mic and speak to them about the city. Easy.

Imagine my surprise when the absolute dork ass loser of the bus driver puts his hands on the wheel and says "tell me the way". And I'm like. What the fuck do you mean. He means it's my job apparently to instruct this professional bus driver who refuses to turn on his GPS on the exact path from butt fuck nowhere Marques de Pombal to Belém. Literally turn left, right, straight ahead.

Important detail here is that the clients are australian, so the tour is in english, but the dumbass tour leader and the even dumber driver are spanish, so I am actually switching back and forth between english and spanish during this whole ordeal (at one point I did accidentally speak spanish to the australians, yes).

Somehow we arrive in Belém without crashing the fucking bus and I do my job. I know the clients had a good time and that's all I care about.

Then we return to Lisbon. Yes I had to yet again provide the BUS driver minute by minute instructions on how exactly to return, and while doing so, I was grabbing the mic, speaking in english about the city, lowering the mic and quickly going "ahora todo recto hasta el edificio amarillo y despues a la izquierda". i have never multitasked this fucking hard in my life. We get to central lisbon, where I was instructed by TL to meet with the other group there, so the people on my bus would be dropped off.

Now, I came to learn that every month this shit happens, and yet they fuck it up every single time. Basically, the tourists are given a plan. The plan states that they are going from point A to point B. At point B they can decide if they want to go to point C. Those who don't want to are promised a ride back to the hotel, those who want to hop onto one of the buses and head over to point C. Except every time, there's no ride back to the hotel, they just leave them stranded in the middle of central lisbon.

But at the time I did not know this.

So imagine my face when I deliver my clients to second group, and out of fucking nowhere, there's this angry Australian lady who is speaking to second TL, and then she turns, spots me with fucking T1000 eyes, lifts her finger abd aggravatingly says IT'S ALL HER FAULT!

At this point I'm like. So help me god. What else is coming. Now, my TL is mushy brain but in his defence he immediately stepped forward and defended me. But meanwhile this woman is still T1000ing me and insisting everything was my fault, when I don't even know what everything is. And it's then that I hear her say "our tour guide said to us she changed the plan!"

She means the afore mentioned plan of going from A to B and then optionally going to place C. She was rightfully upset that she'd been informed she'd have a bus ride back to the hotel and now was stranded in central lisbon (their hotel was not central at all). However, their tour guide, which happens to be the difficult motherfucker I had to communicate via three different phones in the most complicated way right before starting the tour, apparently panicked and instead of doing the correct thing which was relay the lady's complaints back to the TL, he threw me under the bus, accused me of changing plans I didn't even know existed, and hoped for the best.

Mind you, I did not blame the lady. I'd be proper pissed in her place too. But that was the moment I became T1000 and looked around for this motherfucker.

And when I saw him I realised I knew who this piece of shit was.

It turns out he's a tour guide who worked for a Free Tours company whose name I wont give out but they wear yellow, which is an incredibly predatory company, and I say this with full confidence because I actually interviewed for them and it was the most pathetic job interview I've ever experienced. It's the kind of place you pay to work (free tours the guide has to pay 3-5€ per client and they rely entirely on tips, they don't have wages. Kind of like real estate but more predatory). The guides for this company have their meeting spot in the same square as we do (as do several other companies).

This was the only stupid ass who always started shit.

He once screamed at a coworker of mine because he insisted they owned the square (I'm talking about fucking Rossio). He once offered violence to another coworker of mine, I don't even know why anymore. He once tried to start shit with me too. He spoke to some of my clients who had arrived before me and when I got there he went on a fucking rampage going "WE'RE GOING TK START STEALING YOUR CLIENTS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LATE". I let him have it and stayed quiet. When he was done, in most dead pan tone, I just said 'mate there's 10 minutes left before the tour starts, go do your job'.

You ask anyone who regularly tours in Rossio they will know who this fucker is. He is rude, aggressive and a piece of shit.

And apparently a fucking coward too.

Instantly after that, I picked up the phone and called the company, who only called me back hours late cause lol, and told them this would never happen again. After explaining that next time I will refuse to do anything whatsoever if a bus driver ever tells me it's my job to tell the way, I explain that if I were them, I would never collaborate with this absolute piece of shit again bc this is unprofessional beyond belief.

I have since been forgotten by that company lmfao they literally stopped calling me but to be fair it was an amicable divorce bc I swore I'd never work with them again.

It's been like 7 months. I come to learn that piece of shit stayed in that shit ass company nonetheless which shows just how desperate they are. In this time that has since passed, a couple of guides who know what happened asked me what the guide's name is so they are sure to refuse work with that guy.

Turns out that list is growing lmfao there's at least 3 or 4 more guides who have since refused to work with him because he is such a piece of shit.

No idea where he is now. Haven't seen him in a while. Genuinely wonder how tf he is going to build a career in such a small field when he keeps burning every bridge.

[rageprufrock]

Just out of curiosity, now that things have developed, what is your current opinion of the BOC "crisis" situation? And what sort of action would you have advised in the face of a possible intentional smear campaign? Is silence still the best option, and does publicly bringing legal charges, etc. help or hinder in that case?

Not to mention you then have the incredibly public "surprise" announcement of another performer separating from the company ...

My instinct would be to say, "there is no crisis right now," because none of the noise actually breaks though to the signal ratio--like the production company is rolling along, concerts are happening, the movie is being filmed, etc. All of the other stuff is just that, noise, and irrelevant to them since the parties are no longer affiliated with BOC in a business capacity. This is where I'd counsel a client to practice forbearance: if you have the stones and the liquidity, you can grit your teeth and keep your head down long enough that you can get through almost anything. Most examples of this aren't great--see: any of the men who were rightfully canceled and now making their comeback after two or three years of silence--but this can also work well for people who just had a massively public disgracing and needed the zeitgeist to move on from having them be social media's main character of the day. (This is also why so much of the advisory on crisis comms is actually just to shut up, because doing so gives people the opportunity to forget about you, and someone else to put their foot in it and move the narrative along.)

But in truth, at this point, I don't think any of us know enough about what's going on to make any wise commentary--which is exactly as it should be. I should be forced to say, "who the fuck knows," when it comes to the inner workings of most things, because it's none of my business!

I'll say that Jeff leaving BOC was an interesting one, but that I most likely would have handled it the same way, and for a couple of reasons:

You can say you're a family, but this is still at its heart a business enterprise, and any one of them should be clear-eyed enough to look out for themselves first and foremost--people leaving to pursue their own projects or make transitions that make the most sense for them is inevitable, and we shouldn't act like it isn't.

That said, they're all trauma bonded from the whole experience of filming KinnPorsche, and clearly friends in addition to coworkers, and to have told them in advance of the show to give them private time to prepare would have seriously affected their performance at that final show, which I think would have been both a disservice to their fans but also unfair to them after all the work they'd put in.

Telling them several days or even weeks in advance--as surely this had been in the works for a while, with at least the seniormost members of the exec org knowing about the transition--wouldn't have worked either, because the more people know a secret, the less of a secret it is. Especially given the recent kerfuffle, it's critical to position it as a friendly departure, and to message it as a bittersweet but joyful next adventure, and not Jeff fleeing from the smoking remains of BOC. Given the timing of everything else going on, holding until it got the main stage at the closing event of their concert series makes sense: it feels deliberate, it feels intentional, it feels cooperatively planned, and it feels like they're sending off a beloved colleague and friend with all their best wishes, and on the biggest stage they can. It projects the right message.

All that said, no plan survives first contact with reality, so even if they've retained the most terrifyingly smart crew of publicists at this point, it still wouldn't protect them from the unexpected. In this case, the literal sweet baby angel child they're raising in that whorehouse being overtired and overamped and crying because his TV boyfriend is leaving and taking Barcode's coconuts with him.