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slveepyscwrs · 2 months ago

Note

Are you serious about the writing fics...if so a Kuroo x reader Angst fight breakup pleeeaaase😭

When it comes to writing fics about gay volleyball boys, my friend, I'm always serious... 💅✨

Anyways, I hope this angsty breakup fic hits you in the feels as much as it did for me!

(I really enjoyed writing this, so to everyone, let me know if you want a part two– Should Kuroo reconcile, or should Kenma save the reader?)

Without further ado, let's get into your request! (This will also be cross posted to AO3!)

A Love I Never Knew

Summary: All of your heart was with the one person you adored the most, Kuroo Tetsurou. When things started to turn dark for you, you were sure that he would be there. You trusted him, you confided in him, and yet the result of that was the appearance of his true self– one that you never could have imagined in your wildest dreams, or more accurately, your darkest nightmares...

Info/Warnings: gender neutral reader, breakups, cliffhanger ending, aggressiveness, emotional breakdowns, self-esteem issues

“Are you okay?”

When it came to being asked that question, lately, you honestly didn’t know how to respond. Of course, you knew what to say: “I’m fine!”

Your self esteem, on the other hand, told an entirely different story.

You just couldn’t bring yourself to look in the mirror lately. No matter which way you looked at it, you couldn’t consider yourself beautiful. In your eyes, there were so many imperfections on your face, your body, everywhere.

To make matters worse, you had been losing sleep over it too. You had lost a lot of your previous cheerful spirit, as your eyelids began to sag.

Soon, your insecurities about your appearance were beginning to affect other parts of your life too. You couldn’t focus in class or in social activities anymore, because you felt like you weren’t good enough in anything.

Now, you were even beginning to feel like you weren’t good enough in your own relationship too. Kuroo was so cool, so intelligent, so confident… and you were just an awkward, scrawny introvert.

Basically, this was the exact opposite of him.

“Kuroo deserves way better than me…”

This was the thought that was running on repeat in your mind, as you slumped down on the couch in yours and his shared apartment. Your face was buried in your hands, as an even darker than usual cloud hung over your head today.

Kuroo didn’t know about any of this yet. He was always so upbeat and lively, and you didn’t want to put a damper on that with your trivial troubles.

This wasn’t all that possible for you at the moment, though. The concerns about you and your usefulness to Kuroo only got worse. Since this could affect your relationship, maybe now was finally the time to come clean to him.

“He’s always so carefree… He’ll know what to do, and maybe I won’t have to worry anymore…”

You were still anxious about telling him as you waited for him to come home from volleyball practice, but at the same time, you were confident that he could lighten your mood.

As a result, your eyes remained fixed on that door in a desperate anticipation. You didn’t even turn on the TV or browse through your phone to kill time until he came back like you usually did.

You needed Kuroo. In fact, today was probably the day you needed him the most.

When the door finally did swing open, your expression brightened a little. You were still shaking from the anxiety, but you were relieved that he was here at last.

“Baby, you’re home!” You jumped up to greet him.

Kuroo, on the other hand, didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic. He wore his towel around the back of his neck, dripping sweat with an exhausted expression on his face.

This made sense for him. He didn’t like to show it to others, but you knew that he could get really wiped out when practices got intense.

Still, you knew that this was urgent, so you hoped to get his attention nonetheless.

“Practice was rough today, huh?”

“Hm, yeah. Definitely.” He nodded in agreement, but still didn’t make eye contact with you.

“How are the others?” Kuroo loved to crack jokes about his teammates, so you thought that this might snap him out of it.

“They’re alright. Annoying and chaotic as ever.” He still completely ignored you and brushed you off, and began to trudge off to the room that you two slept together in.

Your heart was beating fast under the weight of your feelings, so as much as you wanted to let him rest, you needed to talk to him. Therefore, you ran after him to make him talk to you.

“Hey, is something wrong?” You said this in a caring and concerned voice. He did seem really, really tired, but he usually wasn’t this low on energy. Despite everything you were going through, you also wanted to be there to listen to him if something was wrong.

What Kuroo said next, however, was something that made your face drop.

“Nothing’s wrong! I don’t need to be interrogated right now, love. Just leave me alone, ugh.”

Now, this sounded much more like he was annoyed with you rather than just being tired. You hadn’t meant to ‘interrogate’ him, you just wanted to know about his day.

He never reacted this badly before. Something was definitely on his mind, and you had the feeling that it had more to do with you than with volleyball.

“I’m really sorry… It’s just, I needed to talk with you about something.” You squeaked out in a lower tone, now becoming increasingly afraid of what his reaction would be.

“Fine, but make it quick, I have other things to do… Come to think of it, what is the matter with you today?”

Unlike you, his tone wasn’t filled with nearly as much care. It was like talking to you was a chore that he had no choice but to complete.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to pour out your heart into words.

“It’s just that I don’t feel good enough… I don’t feel pretty enough, my personality isn’t good enough… And now I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” By the time you finished, your breath was shaky and uneven.

You still had some slight hope that this would make him soften up, but unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the case.

“What’s with all this sappy stuff? Jeez, you’re acting crazy! You used to not give a shit…” He was massaging his forehead in a way that was intentional, making it clear to you that you were the one giving him that headache.

“No… That’s because I was just hiding it from you…”

“Well, what do you expect me to do about it?”

His tone was becoming harsher and harsher, while yours became softer and softer. This sudden change was literally taking your breath away, and not in a good way.

“Um… you are my boyfriend…” You looked up at him with eyes gone wide with fear, shame, and embarrassment.

This gaze only exacerbated Kuroo’s annoyance. He rolled his eyes, and moved his lips silently in a way that was mocking the way you spoke.

“Yeah, I’m your boyfriend, not your goddamn therapist.”

This was the final nail in your heart, shattering it into pieces. The carefree, lighthearted Kuroo that you had fallen in love with just wasn’t that same person anymore. As you realised this, tears began to sting at the corners of your eyes.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. At least answer the question, please… Am I good enough for you, Kuroo? I’m so sorry…”

At this point, your voice was barely audible. You hardly knew what to say. Everything that you thought you knew about Kuroo was changing so quickly.

He had begun to turn around and go to the bedroom anyway, but at these words, he stopped in his tracks. He stood there like that for a few seconds, and you saw his hands clench into fists. The rising and falling in his chest became more ragged, as his breaths filled with negative emotions.

Every second that he was still made the dread inside you grow, but the face that you saw when he turned back around to face you suddenly and swiftly frightened you even more.

“I get home after a long day, and all you can do is cling to me like a fucking abandoned puppy. And instead of just letting me go like a sane person, all you say is ‘I’m sorry!’ It’s so goddamn corny and annoying… But you know what? I agree with what you said earlier. Maybe you really are not good enough for me.”

His fists balled tighter, as he screamed these words at the top of his lungs through clenched teeth.

This new piercing volume sent the entire atmosphere around you two into utter silence. You couldn’t believe that this was real. It had to be a terrible nightmare, one that would end, and let you wake up to Kuroo cuddling beside you in the bed.

Yet, this wasn’t a nightmare. This was the reality of what Kuroo truly felt about you.

If your heart was shattered before, this made the pieces break even smaller and drop to the ground. As for your heartbeat, it felt as if it had stopped in your chest. Heck, time itself seemed to slow around you.

It was one thing to believe the worst about yourself, but having the one who’s supposed to love you the most say that those beliefs were correct all along made it feel like the world itself beneath you was giving out.

Your body wasn’t just trembling now, it was full on shaking. Your knees swayed back and forth, making you feel like a jelly that threatened to give way and drop to the floor any second now.

Your eyes that were now stuck open as wide as they could go couldn’t hold it back anymore, and silent tears rushed down your face. The shock was so intense that you couldn’t even make any noise with the crying. With all these tears, your throat began to burn.

“I have to say something, anything to make it better… It’s all my fault, I should fix this…”

You could hardly form thoughts like these, much less put them into words. Meanwhile, Kuroo kept his eyes fixated on you in pure disgust. He had a look on his face that made it seem like the fact that you were still in front of him was something that he absolutely loathed.

Whatever words did come to mind mostly stopped in your throat. Any noise that did come out was in the form of choked up croaks and squeaks.

Finally, somehow, actual words came out, only to be immediately cut off.

“Kuroo, I–“

“Just forget it already! If this is how you’re going to be, I can’t take it anymore! I’m fucking done with you. We’re over, now get out of my house, now!”

You already thought that his voice couldn’t get any louder, but its magnitude just kept climbing and climbing until it got to a point where you felt that it could blow the roof off. His face was scrunched up in pure fury, and his eyes directed that rage into yours and straight into your soul.

Whatever he was feeling, Kuroo now seemed as if he had never loved you at all.

And just like that, a beautiful relationship that had lasted months, one that you hoped would stretch on for years to come vanished just like that. All your hopes about Kuroo disappeared into nothingness.

As reluctant as you were, you now accepted that what you had with him was gone, and couldn’t be fixed.

However, more than that, you didn’t think it was even safe to be here anymore. Judging by his body language, his posture, his actions, and his words, standing there for even a few seconds longer would run the risk of Kuroo’s anger escalating towards physical violence.

Your knees gained just enough strength, and you bolted out the door in a fit of loud sobs.

When you were gone, Kuroo returned to normal and sighed, but not out of relief. He couldn’t pin it down exactly, but there was something gnawing inside him… He was observant enough that he knew deep inside that was guilt.

Still, even though he did know, he would never admit it. He wouldn’t admit it to himself, and definitely not to you. He couldn’t take back what he did, but either way, he most certainly wasn’t going to go running after you. Instead, he simply shook his head and wandered off inside the bedroom.

It was raining outside in the dark of night, and not just a light shower. Water rushed down from the dark clouds at high speeds, hitting the ground with incredible sound and force for such tiny droplets.

It didn’t take more than a few seconds for you to get soaking wet in these conditions, but you pushed through and kept running. You didn’t know where– it was late, and no one you knew would be willing to take you in at this hour.

You jumped down the stairs to the ground floor, but that was as far as you could get before your knees finally gave up and caused your body to collapse to the concrete pavement, getting scraped against its rough surface.

You were in an awkward position, but you didn’t care. You were cold, you were wet, but most importantly… you were alone.

At least there was a positive side to that. You curled up, now being free to sob out all the pain that had piled up on you out to the distance. Your face became a mess of tears and snot, as the uncertainty of the situation dawned upon you.

“I can’t sleep on the streets… I’ve already been a burden to everyone, but I have to find someone, anyone…”

You had absolutely nothing, except for the clothes on your back and your phone in your pocket. Getting under the relative safety of a pillar, you decided to make use of that phone as you went through your contacts, pondering your slim set of options.

You remembered that there was one person who lived close enough to Kuroo, and this person was Kenma. Your fingers shook as you debated internally whether to press the call button or not. Kenma was the kind of person who was known for his preferences for being alone, and being sort of aloof towards others.

It wasn’t likely that he would take you in, but the chance of him accepting was still there. At this point, you were ready to take any chance you got.

Trying not to drop your phone, you decided to take a risk and call Kenma. You put it on speaker and heard as the phone rang one time, two times…

Your phone provider would automatically drop a call if there wasn’t an answer by the fifth ring. The device’s battery was quite low as well, so if Kenma did not pick up, you truly would be stranded.

And so, you sat there awaiting your fate. Each ring, although lasting only a few seconds, stretched out for an eternity.

Would Kenma pick up? Would he not pick up?

Whichever one of the two happened, the little flame of hope left in your heart lay in his place… any place that was away from Kuroo.

“It really did turn out to be the person I loved most who ended up hurting me the deepest…” You thought alone to yourself, waiting as the phone rang and rang into the distance…

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littleeyesofpallas · 1 year ago

Text

Bleach’s Issue with Queer characters (2/3)

...

Dordonii might seem like a weird one to point out here, compared to some of the more overt examples, but I think he had a fairly evident queer codedness to him. His more overwhelming quality was his kind of Spanish flair, what with the tap shoes and Flamenco-esque poses and gestures, the devil horns in his greased hair and on his mask shard, and his little Mephistopheles mustache and beard. But the ear ring, and Flamenco adjacent sex appeal mixed with the way he kind of baby talks Ichigo strikes me as contributing to a certain daddy-ish gay character type. Also, I’ve never been 100% sure that it’s not just crosshatching, but I’ve always read it as some chest hair peaking out from his low v-neck. But I feel like that assessment needs some qualifying context...

Western sensibilities tend to read effeminate features on men as a chief indicator of homosexuality, Japan has never been quite as narrowly focused with its own gay stereotypes. There is definitely a particular character type in anime and manga that pins the preening vanity of smooth faced and long haired effeminate men on homosexuality, but it’s not really the go-to. Tracing back to media trends of the 1970s the long haired, smooth chested pretty boy (even the gay ones) very much became the domain of female audiences and creators, where as the prevailing trends of gay portrayals by and for men actually settled more firmly on the hairy and muscular image that bara is associated with now. I'm not about to do a whole big breakdown of the japanese gay subculture behind the bara thing, because that deserves more time and attentio that i can give it here, but you've got a keyword to work with now, so I encourage you to do a little googling yourself.

Also he has his right ear is pierced? I don't know if this was ever a thing in Japan, but in America it became kind of a wide spread myth(?) Originally it actually was a functioning kind of code within the queer community in the 1960s and 70s, but after it became somewhat more generally well known the practice more or less stopped, for pretty obvious practical reasons... but weirdly enough by the sheer power of stupid homophobia, straight people continued to scrutinize and be paranoid of men with pierced ears for decades following. Again, though, I have no idea if either the original intent or the misinformation of that trend was ever anything that had any kind of Japanese presence...

Anyway... What I’m getting at is Dordonii feels very queer coded to me, just not in ways that everyone picks up on. But speaking of muscular hairy gays... Let’s talk about an elephant in the room:

Charlotte Chuhlhourne:

Obviously, Kubo doesn’t quite have the tact to make use of queer identities in a totally respectful way, so it’s hard to tell how much is attributable to Kubo making a character exactly as they appear, and what could be argued to be a character’s theoretical self-identifying terms filtered through Kubo’s limited vernacular. But the word to know here is Okama[オカマ], which has traditionally referred to gay, AMAB transvestites. Obvious stumbling point here is that prior to more widely codified and accepted trans identities this term applied to both transwoman and drag queens.

Granted until fairly recently(by which I mean within the relatively short spand my own lifetime) even the queer community at large didn’t always differentiate the two very well; presentation was presentation, the circumstances for it and the specificities of achieving it were personal choices, not taxonomical crossroads; some moonlit as queens and that was it, others would’ve lived as women and never walked a show in their life if that had been a practical option, others still were happily gender fluid, but the scene had one look and one label. We made due with what we had.

Anyway... point being that Charlotte’s character is specifically a play into an Okama stereotype. That is to say, the archetypal look of Okama in Japanese media for many years has been a middle aged, square jawed, often broad or even muscular, drag queen. Although Charlotte doesn’t actually have one, they are also frequently shown with a muzzle of stubble growing in. Despite what you might think about jabs at the beard as a masculine feature betraying their feminine presentation, it’s actually not (usually) the reason...

The image comes out of Japan’s gay bar scene --in Tokyo, Shinjuku-Nichoume in particular-- which has long been a cultural centerpiece of Japan’s gay culture. The larger Shinjuku ward as as whole is itself a commercial district. So, to the general public who didn’t have any interaction with gay culture itself, the small glimpse they had was from the crossing paths of salarymen commuting into work as straggler okama headed home from the bars the morning after, still in drag and makeup but with unshaven stubble growing in after a long night.

(Also, just a side note on this, but if you’ve ever seen an older (usually bigger) woman with a deep, brassy voice in kind of sultry night attire at a bar referred to as “Mama,” it’s because that’s the owner of a okama bar. She’s not literally anyone’s mother, she’s the defacto den-mother of sorts for the patrons of her bar.)

It’s still definitely not a flattering portrayal, but it’s one with a very specific history that doesn’t communicate to Western audiences at all. But there is a certain strangeness to how the Japanese handle this, comparatively. While Western rhetoric has its hangups with moralist preaching and bitching and moaning about “degeneracy” and “deviancy,” those judgments just aren’t baked into Japanese culture in quite the same way. In fact, while most of these okama caricatures by and for cishetero creators/audiences are definitely not what anyone would call “good” representation, they do lack a certain expected malice. Sure, flamboyant bafoonery is a constant in exploitation of gay culture on either side of the Pacific, but where as the West uses this as a means to disarm gay men --to make them non threatening, or to rationalize not taking them seriously-- anime manga and even videogames tend to fixate on the curiosity of it.

(although one enduring, generally positive case of this that actually seems to fly super under western audience’s radars are the great fairys in Zelda. which have maintained their extremely obvious dragqueen inspired look since OoT)

One of the first encounters with the okama charactertype that I only learned to identify looooong after the fact is the Magypsies (haha oh boy that localized choice of slur...) in Earthbound. On the one hand they were treated as a bizarre spectacle and literally not human, but they were magical and benevolent and a little comical but not in the way where they were relegated to being the punchline of a joke and nothing else. And I've found over the years that that tends to be the tone of these kinds of characters.

Another very similar case of this is Ivankov in One Piece, the Kamabakka kingdom Okama and Newkama, including Bonclay/Mr.2. (His "okama way" gimmick being a play on the hardboiled gritty actionhero cliche of a "man's way.") Where on the one hand, it’s a disgusting, tacky use of the familiar okama cliches, but also their very existence as okama is painted as the basis of their unique form of super power? Really, it’s just so wildly divorced from reality that it’s hard to even call it “representation,” harmful or otherwise... Still, in impossibly poor taste based on optics alone, though.

This all is not to try and sweep under the rug that these are still ultimately problematic stereotypes and caricatures to have to debrief each new generation of viewer on just to avoid the slippery slope of total misinterpretation, but I've noticed that there is a distinct difference in how that tone is read. The overwhelming attitude I see from these creators is that these long standing cliches are how okama look and act, but that it makes them interesting or funny, and yes “other,” but rarely lesser. Obviously that's still rooted deeply in ignorance on part of these non-queer creators, but you can see how it lacks the teeth that the western equivalent has, where such caricatures are explicitly there to defame and demonize, and I think that’s an important distinction to make.

(And let’s not even get into the issue of fake “woke” white people struggling to wrap their tiny brains around the idea of another culture by framing it as that culture’s unique idiosyncrasies as if they’re just failed attempts at conforming to white anglo-centric western values, because THAT is a whole other can of worms...)

To maybe put this into some better perspective here, Tier Harribel has blond hair and tan skin, and given what the Arrancar are and how they live she is presumably naturally dark skinned, and naturally blonde. But her design is clearly based on gyaru/gal (or possibly ganguro) fashion, which makes use of fake tans and bleached hair. She looks the way she does because she's made to look like that aesthetic, but looking the way she doesn't doesn't imply she bleaches and tans(presumably those colors are both natural on her in-world).

That same relationship of image inspiring image while being divorced from meaning is just kind of how Kubo makes these kinds of aesthetic decisions, all across the board, problematic or not. But of course no one really cares about it when it’s a weird recontextualization of the gal aesthetic because no one’s offended on their behalf.

And in general, I think a lot of these things are just so outside the Western perspective that even when they definitely are problematic, some people can’t even begin to grasp what about it is, and end up fabricating just nonsense arguments against it to rationalize a kneejerk kind of discomfort and confusion over the subject...

Anyway... having said all that, the next one actually IS a huge problem...

[1][2][3]

#bleach meta #bleach #KUBO TITE #Dordoni Alessandro Del Socaccio #Charlotte Chuhlhourne #now that its posted #the more i look over this the more i want to edit it #but if i start it'll quickly become just a totally different post #its not even that im looking to correct the basic points being made #so much as i just hate the voice #but then thats always my beef with my own writing #i really hate the way i worded the whole okama bit though #it feels like it doesnt really get the point across #oh well....

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cherryhak · 1 year ago

Text

彡By your side - Jacob Bae

Pairing. Jacob Bae x gn!reader

Genre. Fluff | Comfort | bf!Jacob | established relationship

Warnings. None ?, not really detailed

Note. Wrote this on my first day of high-school cuz it was horrible and i wish i had someone taking care of me like this :(

Wc. 809

Today was one horrible day.

It was your first day at job and it felt as if from the moment you woke up to the moment you walked through the door of your apartment, everything went wrong.

Like, every little things as if the world was against you that day.

And you were frustrated, really frustrated.

But you didn't want to experience a second mental breakdown (because yes, you had one as soon as you left the building).

You knew Jacob would immediately notice your bloodshot eyes and rosy nose if you cried again. And the last thing you wanted was to worry him so you tried your best to keep it in, blinking your tears away as you put down your handbag and send a weak smile in his direction. It was not a genuine one and you knew your boyfriend knew it, but this will do for now.

Without a single word, you headed straight to the shower which was really odd coming from you. Usually, you would sit down and hug Jacob for a good 10 minutes while talking about your day but today was different and he definitely felt the frustration radiating off of you.

After almost an (much needed) hour, you came out and plopped down on the couch next to him. Not saying a word you just stared into space. Like said before, you didn't want to worry him knowing that he himself had a lot going on with the boys preparing for their comeback.

Jacob debated for a minute on whether to talk to you or not ; he didn't want to annoy you or force you to tell him what was wrong but he also didn't want to sit there seeing you all sad and tired and do nothing.

He decided to wait until you felt ready to rant to him.

Hower as the minutes passed and you still hadn't spoken a word, he grew more and more worried

"Is everything alright ?"

You suddenly snapped out of your thoughts, the sudden voice causing you to flinch a little.

You didn't know how long you were out of it honestly so you spat out a blatant lie,

"Hm ? Yeah everything's fine"

It sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than him and it didn't escape his ears.

You felt his warm hand lay on top of yours and you looked up at him only to find him already looking at you

"You can always talk to me you know?" He said in such a honey-like voice, it had your heart melting

You let out a long frustrated sigh, throwing your head back on the couch. Your eyes shifted to his figure for a second then back to the ceiling.

"I'm just.." You started, trying to find the right words to explain the situation you were in.

"Take your time, love" he rubbed your arm encouragingly

"Today was just.. you know, awful. It felt as if everyone was judging me and all eyes were on me. My boss is horrible and treats me like im just a meaningless newbie, its so frustrating. It makes me feel like im not enough and it stresses me out. I can't even socialize ! I tried to befriend a few of my coworkers but they straight judged me because 'who would want to be friends with the newbie' " you scoffed as you recall your co-worker's words

"Everything was just so wrong like i couldn't do anything right !"

Jacob quietly listened to your rambling, it barely even made sense anymore but he kept quiet until you finished.

"I think you did amazing today sweetheart. You should feel proud of just going through this day at all, some people would have left in the middle of the day but you decided to stay until the end and its amazing. Im proud of you and those coworkers of yours it's their loss, they'll never know how incredible you are but they don't deserve you. Think of it, it was just the first day so it's totally normal to feel pressured in a new environment, just wait until you get used to your surroundings and the rythm of it."

He engulfed you in his comforting embrace, resting your head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around your body, tracing shapes of hearts on the small of your back.

"I'm proud of you my love" he whispered against your ear

And that's what it took for the tears to, once again, escape your eyes.

"It's okay, let it all out" he mumbled as he gently rubbed the back of your head, lips pressed to your crown

Planting kisses to the crown of your head, his hand burried in your hair, he held you close for as long as you needed it, assuring you that he'll always be by your side.

✿ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏʜᴀᴋ

#jacob bae #jacob #tbz fluff #tbz jacob #jacob tbz #the boyz jacob #jacob the boyz #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #tbz fanfic #the boyz fluff #jacob bae tbz #tbz jacob bae #jacob imagines #jacob fluff

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safetycar-restart · 1 year ago

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hiii!! i come to you with a logan and oscar idea, poly or separate, idc. so it’s established that what leads to oscar joining logan and his dom is logan finding him in subspace but alternatively going with the past d/s au, what if logan knew that oscar had this horrible dom and it shattered his heart everytime he thought about it like “i have a good dom, why can’t oscar? oscars good too, why can’t he have good things?”

so this leads to Logan talking to his dom about oscar and his dom saying yes because well all oscar and Logan really want is to be good, at their cores they are good boys. so logan finds oscar and that time and brings him with him back to his dom and at this point they are both sobbing, oscar from his bad drop with his (team assigned) dom and logan because once again he can’t really rationalize in this headspace that oscar can’t have as good a dom as he does. so you end up talking with both of them when they are out of subspace and coming to an agreement that oscar is now your sub. i think that with logan being collared it might cause some issues like internally for oscar, especially when he enters subspace like “am i not good enough to be collared too?” :(. which of course he is and you end up having to have a long conversation with oscar about how you love him just as much as you love logan. and thought number 2 which is far less developed: what do you think logan is like as a little? cause i personally see him as being more laidback, kind of like max but with less trauma. but he still has his moments unlike when he’s not little, little!logan is wayyyyyyyy more hurt by you (his mommy/daddy) talking to other littles. ESPECIALLY ones he feels like are better than him. he’s always afraid you’re going to leave him for a “better” little. feel free to add any of your thoughts (also sorry for any mistakes, english is my third language) -love 🎾anon

Firstly, please know that you guys can always send ideas that don't merge with the 'canon' of our verses! Nothing is set in stone and I love exploring different ideas. Anyway, I love this so much.

I love how pure Logan is about it? He's really just there like 'I good boy, I have good dom. But Oscar good boy? Why no good dom for Oscar? MUST FIX" and that's it. That's far as the plan goes.

He's long since decided that when it comes to anything to do with scening and dynamics, it is your problem. Ever since you collared him, he kinda just tells you his vague thoughts and lets you do the rest cause you're his dom and he trusts you.

So with this, he thought no further than the fact that Oscar deserves a better dom and you are a better dom therefore you must dom Oscar and him together.

Of course you say yes when Logan brought it up to you. Not only because you would do anything to make Logan never look so sad again, but also because you genuinely love Oscar and it breaks your heart to know he's not getting what he needs.

You except Oscar to be upset when he comes to you, but you don't Logan to also be in a breakdown. Logan is just crying and hugging Oscar, mumbling that it isnt fair! Oscar should be with you and him, not some terrible mclaren dom!

Of course hearing this makes Oscar cry even more, because he wants what you and Logan have so bad.

You don't actually scene with them properly, because you havent been able to talk to Oscar about his limits yet and because they're both far too upset. Maybe you let them kneel for you? They get to kneel right next to each other, their legs pressed against each other and they can even hold hands. Within ten minutes they've formed a cuddle pile at your feet and honestly it's just the cutest?

You've got two good boys cuddling at your feet, looking up at you for praise and reassurance.

Oscar spends the night, cuddles between you and Logan and has the best sleep he's had in a long time. You discuss everything in the morning and all of three you realise that Oscar needs to also be your sub.

So that's what happens.

But yeah Oscar definitely has a problem with Logan having a collar, and it's actually so difficult for him to workout what his problem even is? Because he's not upset that Logan is collared, he's happy! He loves watching you and Logan together, and his heart would break if you took Logan's collar away.

But at the same time, his heart just aches sometimes? Cause he... he wants a collar too. He wants to really feel like he belongs to you.

And I think Logan feels really guilty about that? He can see that it's upsetting Oscar and he doesn't know what to do. Oscar just joined, so he knows it's too early for Oscar to be collared, but he also knows that there's no way in hell he's going to take his collar off around Oscar. He hasn't been without a collar for over three years and he's not about to start now, it would break him.

Maybe you get Oscar a play collar? A collar that he only wears during scenes and that he can request to wear around the house too. He can't put his own play collar on, it has to be you that does it and if you aren't there, then it can be Logan but you must order Logan to do it.

Oscar ADORES his play collar, and pretty soon he's always wearing it around the house.

Within two months he's gotten his own day collar, because once he knows what it's like to wear your collar, he doesn't ever want to stop.

Maybe Oscar and Logan get each other bracelets? So it's like they've kinda collared each other too.

LITTLE!LOGAN:

I'm not gonna spend too much time on this because of how long the d/s au idea was, but I do want to say this: I love the idea that he's jealous?

He's actually a pretty independent little, happy to watch cartoons and drink from his sippy cup while you work or chat to another caregiver but the moment you even look at another little, he's pouting and whining and fussing. HE'S your baby boy, no one else!

(Except... except he doesn't mind when you look after Oscar.)

#d/s au #poly!Logan/oscar #sub!Logan #sub!oscar #nsfw.#gn!reader #little!driver/rider #little!logan #lsargeant #oscarp #🎾

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spacepiratenemo · 5 months ago

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The one hug - Headcanon

#comic #fanfiction 🐭🤍🔥

This scene right here? It's one of my all-time favorites because it signifies a significant evolution in Nemo's character and behavior. ⚠ #characterdevelopment

Sure, Ace and Nemo have shared hugs before, but those moments were usually a bit one-sided. You see, Nemo's mutated lunarian biology means she needs thermal energy to survive. Nemo doesn’t need food nor water, her biology relies on leeching heat. When her energy levels dipped, she found it tough to straight-up ask Ace for fire. Instead, she'd kinda just... hover her hand near him until he caught on and sparked them up. But sometimes, she'd pull back, feeling awkward or insecure, and that's when the grumps would kick in - so she acted like it was a major inconvenience to her.

But let's be real, it was never that big a deal. Eventually, she started to crave those moments, not for the warmth, but for the closeness. ❤

It took her a while to realise she was after his touch, not just his fire. But being Nemo, she never straight-up admitted it. So, she'd play it off cool, asking Ace to 'warm her up,' and he'd respond with a comforting hug and a casual “No need to be shy!”. And Nemo? She'd shoot back with a quick “I'm not shy. I just need heat, okay? Don’t read stuff into this! It’s not like I want this, understand?” 😅

Sure, there've been comforting embraces before, like after Nemo's breakdown from grief and loss. But this hug? This one's different. It's Nemo taking the lead, openly asking for it; OPENLY ADMITTING TO IT! *pls insert shock here* 😨

SHE hugged him - Not the other way around! And that's NEW to Ace - it’s surprising to hear these words coming from her. This moment right here? It's a game-changer, marking a shift from best friends to lovers. 🧡💛💙🖤

Thank you for your love and support; it's greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this cute, wholesome little scene 🤩

Author’s Note.: As always, I condensed the scene a little bit to make it fit into a single post. Let’s go through this comic page by page:

It took Nemo a few days to muster the courage to take this step, to simply embrace him, yearning for that closeness. This early morning, she couldn't hold back any longer, so she decided to just go for it - and she did, albeit regretting it almost instantly as her shyness crept in. What if this was cringe? This wasn’t cool and Nemo struggled showing any form of vulnerability openly.

Ace, caught off guard by this new and unexpected gesture, assumed she was merely feeling chilly, especially as she shivered faintly. But when Nemo denied being cold, it sparked his curiosity. He inquired if she had another nightmare, knowing well that, if Nemo managed to sleep at all, she often grappled with haunting visions of the moon-colony’s destruction. His surprise only deepened when Nemo denied this too.

The 'pleasant' shock escalated further as she grew even more bashful, her cheeks flushing, her heart racing, her shivering intensifying. Despite her nervousness and fear of rejection, she refused to lie again. It marks one of those very rare moments where Nemo didn’t act tough (Tsundere) - but sweet instead. Using qualifiers like 'kinda' and 'sorta,' she openly confessed that all she wanted in that moment was a hug. Hearing this filled Ace with immense joy; and, as if that wasn't enough, Nemo looked as adorable as ever. She was incredibly precious at that moment, though he couldn't vocalise this to her directly, knowing she’d only scowl at him for saying the forbidden “cute” word. Slowly finding himself falling for his best friend too, he couldn't resist pulling her back into his embrace after she distanced herself slightly, holding her tightly, drawing her close. 'Why not just say so?' Oh, Nemo, you truly made that boy's day, and you deserve all the love and hugs in the world. 💖

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hay1ock · 1 year ago

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Episode 4 of Only Friends

Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.

So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?

I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).

I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.

But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.

Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.

And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).

I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.

The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.

Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.

Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.

So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.

So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.

Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.

Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.

OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.

#only friends the series #only friends episode 4 #only friends series #firstkhaotung #sandray #forcebook #topmew #bostonnick #firstkhao #neomark #i love a good ramble #crying at mew calling him ray of sunshine #i just want Ray to be happy #i’m biased and I know it lol

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wiseatom · 2 years ago

Note

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

ALMOST FORGOT 2 DO THIS LITERALLY RUNNING AND SHAKING AND SWEATING!!! i am putting this under a read more so that i don’t clog the dash but you can catch me in 4k for the second time tonight below the cut:

yes i just rambled abt some of these people. no i do not care. starting with people i have probably interacted with enough to be weird about:

@bylertruther - HI DENISE IT’S ME AGAIN. denise bylertruther my one true love…my first mutual fr fr….ii have screenshots of every nice thing you’ve ever said to me (real) (not clickbait). i hope tht i am in top fans on your blog bc if i am not that is a crime but i’ll do better denise i swear i will. grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you so gently I AM OBSESSED W YOU U HAVE NO IDEA. every take is so true and real and i am constantly in awe like damn ok maybe i should be watching this show like denise bylertruther is. The strongest byler soldier imo and simultaneously every single person on the frontline for will byers. i know they said no new charas in s5 but i think they should really and truly reconsider that stance just so that they can write you into the show bc 1. you deserve it n 2. i want to see mike wheeler bark at u for daring 2 talk 2 will. ty for being correct always and so funny. i am biting you every day and reiterating that every fic i write is actually for you, the Original wiseatom stan,

@andiwriteordie - i say this with all the love and affection and positive connotation in the world, but andi, you are THE most insane person i have ever met, and i am obsessed with you. you are such a pleasure to talk to and bounce ideas off of and just be absolutely batshit insane with, and you are?? crazy talented?? literally SO creative, and your willpower is so admirable 2 me. the amount of fics you churn out is impressive on its own, but the fact that every single one of them is so beautifully written and makes me cry?? even when it’s fluff??? you are also, of course, one of the first fic authors i read for byler - i remember reading the let’s hear it for the boys series on lunch breaks at work over the summer and just like. being obsessed with the way you wrote them and how real it felt, like i was reading from the show. i have done jumping jacks reading your fics. it’s embarrassing. i will continue to do jumping jacks reading your fics. it will continue to be embarrassing. anyway the point is i cherish you and your fics and our friendship so much! punting you into the sun bc i cannot bear to look at you anymore!

@astrobei - suniiii suni suni SUNNNNIIIII. my orange creamsicle my taco bell cheesy roll up my bread puddinggggg. i don’t think i hav ever connected w a person as quickly as we have connected. like wtf we are just. the same person in different fonts n it’s cruel tht we live 3000 miles away bc i just want to wrap you up in my bindle n carry you every where i go. my real n true little sister. thank you for having an aneurysm every time i send u a snippet and for telling me tht i am funny because i need the attention. with that said i would also like to say that i have an aneurysm any time i read ANYTHING you write and you are also SO funny. ty for pioneering cringefail losercore byler and just like. breathing so much life n love into your fics. every single one is just a little love letter to stranger things n i am so thankful for the ones i’ve read and can’t wait to catch up and then immediately go on a 35 mile drive abt it.

@bookinit02 - i would like to state, on the record, that before i knew haven bookinit, i read baby we’re perfect and had such a breakdown over it that i literally blacked it out in my mind. like, i was reading it in line at the starbucks at work, and i was crying in the starbucks at work, in front of guests, n then i went back to my office w my little coffee and cried some more and ERASED IT FROM MY MIND. imagine my surprise when i put two and two together that sweet ball of sunshine haven is the author of the fic tht FUCKED ME UP SO BAD. i reread it the other day n sobbed like a little baby. but haven genuinely you are so talented and your fics feel so Easy, like they just are so in character and feel so Right. i can’t wait until you are a published author one day so that i can build a house out of copies of your book. you deserve the WORLD and i will not stop until it is urs.

@smoosnoom - mooooooOOOON my petri dish pal my eggo waffle supreme thing tht el eats i am biting u so hard. i kno that u know this already but you are literally so talented. lightning struck my house and also me when you hit post on i’m tearing you asunder and neither of us have been the same since. you just have such a distinct prose tht is so poetic and crafted so beautifully and uniquely and i am absolutely in awe every time i read it. u are also just so interesting to talk to like the way your brain works is so fun and cool and i lov being silly with you! i am tying you to a rocket w bert n ernie plushes n sending you to the Actual moon bc u belong up there w the stars (bert n ernie are for company so u don’t get sad and they have walkies in them so we can communicate from space which i think is cool). brb buying sidewalk chalk n transcribing all of ur fics in my driveway

@byeler - irene i know we have interacted a handful of times so you can block me after this if you want <3 but i just wanted to say that your fics were The first i Ever read for byler and i was just. completely shook. i have been reading fanfiction for over a decade and have read fic for ~30 fandoms so i have Been around the block before and there’s this feeling when you find an author that is just. Checking Every Box and you are It, irene. i remember i had to pace myself w the fics you had bc i didn’t want to run out bc it would devastate me. i already said this to you but i can’t wait to read heavy hopes when i am not dying/afraid of plagiarizing before i finish cmbcyb. also every time we have interacted has been an absolute delight, even when it has been bitching abt twitter lol. i think you are so great and i am Going to absorb your ao3 account into my skin. no there is nothing you can do about it. deal!

@miwism - MAL MALMAMALAMAMAAMLAMAMALAMLAMAL. i am going to ask you a question n i want it answered fr i expect a 20 page paper on my desk by monday: who gave you the RIGHT. you are a triple threat in my mind w fic and art n edits and being the funniest fucking person on this godforsaken site. you make me laugh SO MUCH while also making me completely in awe tht a person who is so cool and fun decides to kick it w us Losers. if i were to write you an actual report card i would give you straight As across the board: A+ fic, A+ art, A+ edits, A+ humor, A+ theories, A+ shitposts. comments: a pleasure to have in class. i would literally die for you. i’m serious. i will buy the headstone rn don’t think i won’t. i’ll fax u the receipt. ok great.

@mlchaelwheeler - SARAH. listen i kNOW we don’t talk that much but also i think we have interacted enough on the dash for me to be weird n say that you are That Mutual to Me. like i remember when you followed me i was internally scrambling like ok boys we gotta clean this place up gotta make things nice and pretty for sarah mlchaelwheeler. your analysis is SO GOOD and i aspire to have a brain as big as yours. you are such a delight and positive presence on my dash and when you’re online i’m like ok cool sarah is here everything is going to be excellent. i also want u to know that i think of you every time i watch rink o mania sad wilted will trailing behind mike bc of your icon. Your Impact, Sarah Mlchaelwheeler (ALSO UR URL WTF. ICONIC)

segwaying to people who i think are So Cool and i am Very Normal about:

@finalgirlbyers - sierra u are so funny to me it’s insane, and also, Always Correct. sometimes u post things n i’m like damn i didn’t think tht three minutes ago but sierra finalgirlbyers said it so it must be tru. i am drinking whatever koolaid u are serving, i am part of the hive mind, i would join a cult if u asked, etc, etc. every day i say thank god sierra is fighting the good fight n not a diseased m*lvn!

@elekinetic - ella u are so cool to me fr fr. i need to sit down and just devour your script tag and blow up your notifications bc every single one i’ve read hITS SO HARD. u literally never miss and i want you in the writer’s room sooooo fucking bad SOOOO BAD. more than anyone else. i also just rly appreciate the perspective tht u bring with your education and knowledge of tv and film. it’s so cool and always really appreciated!!

@heroesbyler - stav i think you are so cool and also correct literally all of the time. another one where i’m like oh stav said it guess it simply must be true! just every single post hits and i think tht you are so fun to have on my dash. tht is all. also i am biting you.

@miwiluvr - MOUMO U ARE SO COOL N TALENTED N EVERY TIME U REBLOG ONE OF MY FICS I LITERALLY DIE. if i never am able to post again it’s miwiluvr’s fault everyone…but fr ur art is so soft and just gorgeous and natural looking and i want to eat it with my mouth. thank u.

@nnilkyway - speaking of art i want to eat w my mouth - yvie omfg. you are literally so talented n when i followed you n you immediately followed back i had 2 sit down on the floor of the stranger things experience in los angeles california n that just felt so fitting somehow. ty for providing me w the mitski bangers i needed. also we are best friends in my head sry but it’s true so ur just going to have to deal with that.

@modsisawesome - more art i want to eat w my MOUTH. WTF. expect me to blow up ur notifs in a few days or weeks or whenever i have time i can’t make promises BUT EXPECT IT WHEN U DON’T EXPECT IT BECAUSE. UR ART IS SO SOFT AND REAL AND FUN AND I AM OBSESSED W IT AND U. i kno i declared us best friends n then fell off the face of the earth but tht is still true. bother me any day of the week i will respond probably tht same day of the week bc i think u are so cool.

@light-lanterne - angel you are so cool and i am so in awe of u every day. first of all your graphics are absolutely beautiful and please direct anyone who says otherwise directly to my askbox bc i will tear them a new one. second of all i think you are The biggest supporter of the byler fic writers and i am just so thankful for that and so appreciative of what you do. i am going to fight for my life to carve out time in the new year to read your fics they are at the Top of my list bc i want to show you just as much love and support as you have shown us!! thank you!!!

@new-ronantics - eevie i have such a crush on your art it is insane. everything you put out just has so much life and fluidity and looks so natural and i know how hard it is to achieve tht so i am just in awe of your talent. also your url is top tier and you are so so funny and every time you are online i am saying THANK GOD EEVIE IS HERE!!!!

@messrsbyler - nic i want to get to kno you better bc i have seen tht u are evil and dark minded and i am also evil and dark minded so i think we would get along so well. let me know when u want to be evil and dark minded bc i am always free to be evil and dark minded. thanks .

ok i have the memory of a goldfish and i am also so tired and also should really honestly truly be writing fic BUT i am so sorry if i forgot abt anyone!! if i did it’s probably just bc i am Afraid of u or we are so new mutuals. pls everyone bother me in the new year and then i will spend all year writing novels abt u for december 31 2023. ok goodbye <3

#asks #THIS TOOK ME 2 HRS #GODDD #ALSO TY TO EVERYONE TAGGING ME IN THEIRS #NOT IGNORING I JUST HAVE TO CATCH UP 😭

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writingsbychlo · 2 years ago

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There are theories that Mor and Azriel are mates, but since she prefers females nothing ever happened (because of how protective he gets, for example when he choked Eris) and that Elain & Azriel have mates, however, end up choosing each other./forbidden romance. What do you think of this theory? I like Elain, but I don’t want her with Az. I prefer Elucien (I feel like since Elain is a seer, gifted with sight, her powers are connected with Lucien since his dad is Helion, who SJM based on Greek god Helion, who is the god of sight) and I just don’t like the three sisters for three brothers. It feels to predictable. I kind of feel like Azriel is someone who self sabotages. He crushes on Mor for 500 knowing he can’t have her and I’m sure his shadows can pick up on feelings and emotions, so wouldn’t he be able to sense that Mor genuinely wasn’t interested in him romantically? I like Azriel and Gwyn, but some people think she might be evil since his shadows play with her. People bring up that his shadows hide from Elain and they do with Mor as well, so they’re meant to be together. I really want Elain and Lucien together. I just don’t like the idea of Elriel. What do you personally think? Do you think Azriel purposely self sabotages/goes after ladies he knows he can’t or won’t be able to have? I’m sorry if I cause any trouble, I don’t mean to!💜

you didn't cause any trouble, and I'm not afraid to say with my whole fucking chest that I HATE ELRIEL. everyone is entitled to their own choices and ships and whatnot but there's not one single az/elain idea or theory or trope that could make me like it.

breakdown below the cut because the elriel stans out there don't deserve to have their day ruined by my lil opinion lol. however, don't open it if you're curious but stan elriel because it'll just make you mad.

I like elain with lucien, I think they'd be perfect for one another. elain has always been caged and babied by her sisters for being a soft girl, she needs some freedom. she's proven she's not some breakable little object, she deserves to have a life of her own. she deserves to be free from that cage and to see the world. lucien can take her to do that, he's a courtier, he has friends all over and would be such a good guide. lucien deserves some light in his life, he's spent his whole life stuck and fighting, he and elain could just be happy together.

az and gywn is okay. if it was between gywn and elain, my obvious choice is gwyn. solidly, I am still waiting for a love interest for him other than eris that actually viable and matches him so perfectly.

anyways.

elriel makes me sick for numerous reasons. first of all, it's toxic. that whole "the girl who never got to choose and the boy who never got picked" thing. ew. ew ew ew. azriel would spend his entire life then feeling like he was constantly having to keep on proving he was good enough to be picked, and he's already fragile enough like that as it is. elain would end up feeling stuck, like she just chose the first person who as there, and they'd end up hating one another anyway.

also, azriel treats every other woman like a strong, powerful warrior. he treats elain like she needs sheltering and protection. he canon does this, all the way through ACOSF. he treats her like a child. let's just leave that there.

next, as you said, his shadows hide from her. a part of himself, the darkness he used to survive won't go near her. how could he bear any part of his soul to her when the most obvious part won't even be shown? he'd never be able to truly be himself. gwyn has her own troubles, her own trauma, and they'd heal together.

also, three sisters for three brothers is sickening. the elriel ship makes azriel into some toxic man who feels like he's entitled to women? if they got together based on that philosophy it would quite literally undo every single part of his character development. attacking for mor's honour? "be careful how you speak about my high lady"? "you just passed the blood rite qualifier"? all that peak feminism undone because suddenly azriel feels like he's owed some pussy. no fucking way.

lastly, if elain didn't end up with lucien, what's the fucking point of the mating bond being there anyway? it's served NO plot point so far unless they end up being mates. the whole "maybe the cauldron made a mistake" thing could have happened without it. az could have just been "maybe the bond just hasn't snapped yet". like? if they don't end up together, it's just a useless plot thread? sarah don't do that to us.

now, onto this whole mor and az thing. personally, I don't see it. I can understand where that has come from, but I don't see it. I just don't think they're at all equal or alike, and considering the other mating pairs and their similarities, it wouldn't make sense. basically, I just don't think so. I think he just hyper fixated because deep down he knows he can never have her and always goes for unattainable love because he's always felt like love was just outside of his reach. he's always wanted it and never had it (childhood trauma, not cass and rhys), and so he's permanently looking for where he can't have love, not where he can.

so, yeah, that's my breakdown, lol.

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atanx · 1 year ago

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i just had a silly little scenario in my head but like imagine instead of nishiki having his little villain arc due to literally no one giving a shit about him and always comparing him to kiryu, nishiki quits being a yakuza (though he prolly wouldnt canonically lol), gets a new stable job and life, and then when kiryu gets outta jail nishiki immediately comes to see him just to give him the biggest, well-needed hug 😔 i may or may not sound delusional but this is the ending i need, i just want a happy ending PLEAAAAAASE

i feel u so hard we need a good ending for our koi boi </3

honestly i feel this could happen in a nishiki gets very horribly drunk, has a mental breakdown at a bar, gets therapy-talked / pep-talked by an equally drunk stranger and wakes up the next morning having resigned by the yakuza by insulting kazama's drip until kazama was too tired to deal with his shit XD

this is a very crack-y promise, but angst can ensue! :D nishiki being confronted with the fact that he has neither money nor qualifications for acquiring a job! maybe working as a host until he's saved up enough to be able to do other shit.

since this would have to be inbetween yuko dying so that he can still lose it and attempting suicide / murdering matsushige, he hasn't gotten revenge on the doctor yet, so that could be a motivating factor in what field he wants to work in.

he'd probably do well at working in the nightlife industry, as a host or manager of a cabaret / host club. keep some underground ties, maybe contribute to this whole honest living thing by helping yakuza get a proper job (i think i read that he did stuff like that at some point on his wiki article but im no longer sure)

oor the popular idea of nishiki going into fashion. which i don't know nearly enough about fashion to comment on any of that but nishiki does have drip (potential) especially if he's not at 2005-box-suit level yet.

ooooor the idea of nishiki working as an independant investigative journalist with the primary goal of making the doctor's life a living hell. somehow he ends up involved in scandal after scandal and people soon fear him for how thoroughly he exposes corrupt businesses / politicians / whatever. his reporting has steadily been getting very good and he delights in the political power his articles and the populace's favour have gotten him. he is also very hard to get rid of because HE WAS IN THE YAKUZA AND HE CAN FIGHT.

i'd also honestly live for nishiki just not knowing what to do and attending university and finding a good friend group and getting the love he fucking deserves.

i'm actually now really into the investigative journalist idea asdfghjkmjnbvcfgt i blame the judge eyes series because this idea of investigative journalism i have has an overlap with detective work and DAMN JUDGEMENT IS SO GOOD.

anyway so because in this world, nishiki isn't plotting to murder kazama, he has a clear conscience and goes to pick up kiryu when he's released and reacclimate him into society. (also nishiki totally knows everything about what's going with yumi and jingu etc and can relay that to kiryu)

yo sorry for rambling so much the plot bunny population in my brain just starts increasing exponentially whenever i get to ramble about stuff <3

#my rants #yeah i honestly believe that nishiki not only has an inferiority complex he also has a fear of being powerless #because he couldn't help (save) yumi or kiryu or yuko #also he just likes power which fair more power to him #so i think at that point in his life he wouldn't be able to become a normal civilian. whether its still being involved in shady stuff #being a politician an influential businessman or an investigative journalist i think he would seek out something where he could attain powe #it's still pretty unlikely that he would quit but hey we can just introduce a bit of ooc from time to time to spice things up XD #i didn't really go into the kiryu aspect but yeah their relationship would definitely be much much better when nishiki doesn't have #goals that will put them on opposing sides or any guilt about his actions and feeling like he isn't deserving of kiryu #because wtf was that scene in serena where he goes like 'i shot ur dad' and then like 'i did hope that we could work together'#like no?? he was obviously trying to drive kiryu away by just outright telling him that and in such a provocative way too #like hes not stupid he knows how loyal kiryu is to kazama there is no way he expected that conversation to go any different from how it wen #and i started rambling again ill just cut myself off here-#thank u for the ask <3

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heretic-altias · 1 year ago

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FFXIVWrite Day 30 - Amity

I decided to wrap things up for FFXIVWrite with a little reflective piece for Akku. The nicest little guy for the friendliest prompt.

While not related to the prompt I'd also like to celebrate here that I did it! I did every single prompt for this challenge! This is something I've actually wanted to accomplish for a few years now, so I'm really proud of myself. I hope anyone following my page enjoyed it too and wasn't driven too mad by my blog suddenly becoming 99% fics when I rarely posted my writing usually lol.

Don’t know my characters? Here’s a basic breakdown to help you out!

As far back as he could remember, Akku simply wanted to be a good person. To be kind to everyone he met. Even before his echo power had manifested and shown him just how much suffering everyone carried, he wanted to make their lives better.

In his youth, his kindness was not repaid. In retrospect, he had simply been a pushover. Letting others walk all over him trying to make them happy. In the mind of a child, letting others act in the way that made them happy seemed like kindness.

He had still not entirely grown out of that when fate first dropped him in with Solar as a Warrior of Light. He had been the youngest one there, a boy of nineteen summers tagging along with proper adults. A bright eyed child hopeful about their role in the world. Heroes were always kind after all. Heroes made everyone happy in the end.

But he quickly came to see that simply wasn’t reality. Sometimes the greatest kindness was a harsh truth, sometimes people suffered and died no matter how hard you tried.

Sometimes in the end Altais, with her direct and blunt responses, had been kinder than his attempts to comfort people. Sometimes, even when the war was over and the people were saved, some still suffered endlessly. And many people didn’t even live to see the end.

In a strange way, Akku had learned to be kinder. He understood when he had to be direct and harsh for the greater good of someone’s well being. He had learned to respect himself and not just be tread upon, for his agency was needed to do good in the world.

And in face of his failures, he continued to try.

Akku reflected on all of this as he relaxed by the docks in Sharlayan, a light snow starting to dust the ground. He had come to like this city a lot, there was something peaceful about it. And since being sort of adopted into a study group despite not actually being a student, he enjoyed spending time here with some new friends. With the Scions officially disbanded, and his friends in Solar spread out working on their own things Akku had been sort of drifting lately.

Should he be doing more than this? Maybe. Maybe he should enroll in the classes himself instead of just studying with some of the students. Maybe he should be going home and seeing if Zelda needed any help on the administrative side of things. Or maybe he should still be traveling, doing what he can to help anyone he meets.

But this was comforting. And he didn’t need to do anything just yet. Being a Scion and Warrior of Light had actually left him quite wealthy, even with his poor money skills. Not Ul’dah Syndicate level of wealthy, but wealthy enough where he probably would not want for anything for the rest of his life if he kept living as he did. And if he had the means to keep doing nothing for a little while, then why not? There was one person he had rarely ever been kind to: himself. And that person deserved this period of rest. Purpose would find him again eventually. Until then he’d continue to enjoy this. He’d keep trying to spend time with his friends, both new and old, simply because it made him happy. And he knew it made them happy too. What better way to spend his days than that?

He wasn’t dumb enough to think it’d last forever. Eventually his friends would need his help again, and he would answer because that’s who he is. But somehow he’d gotten that happy ending everyone wrote the hero having. It wasn’t as perfect as the stories, but it was his and he was happy.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #ffxivwrite2023

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squeakthemonkey · 2 years ago

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Time Will Tell

Chapter 6 - Open wounds

Sebastianxf!oc or Ominis x f!oc

Erica Weasley faces new surprises when her Bad luck when leaving the castle comes back with a vengeance

trigger warnings - violence, PTSD symptoms

Erica waited for the barrage of laughs, for the disbelieving shouts, even for them to tell her to just leave. Instead silence filled the air, for a long time. It kind of felt anticlimactic in a way. She had expected them to scream or shout and run or even think she was joking but they didn’t. When she glanced at the boys Sebastian was looking more perplexed than anything. Ominis’ instead looked plain worried.

“I … see.” Sebastian finally said. “That explains a lot actually,”

Erica stuttered, they were supposed to be the ones bewildered and disbelieving, yet it seemed only Ominis was truly questioning. “You believe me?”

Sebastian sat down on the chair and leaned over his knees deep in thought. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to us,” he furrowed his brow. “Time travel…?”The dimple was gone, the smile was gone. “Man, I really am left out now,” the joke didn't reach his lips. He rubbed his thumb over his lips deep in thought.

“It’s not travel,” she clarified, trying to hide how much it hurt to explain. “I’m here and… I’m not going back. I can’t go back.”

“In Hogsmeade…?” Ominis started. Erica flushed a deep red for her stupidity back then, she focused on the flowers on the table, so much more than a thank you for the wand. She knew he was talking about her little breakdown, but she couldn’t face that just quite yet. Instead she spoke of the instigator.

“I thought I was in a nightmare. I thought…. I thought if he, if anyone, hurt me enough, if I let him, I would wake up.” She explained she gripped her throat, wishing it was the icy hand that coerced her to tell the truth. But it wasn’t. She didn’t have to look to see their concern. “ It was extremely stupid, but I was desperate. I knew the moment you showed up how stupid it was,”

“When…? Ominis asked again.

“The day of the fountain explosion, I woke up in it,”

“The fountain? It was because of you.” Sebastian asked, and she nodded.

“It was a crash landing.” she tried to joke again. “Honestly, how it didn’t kill me, I don't know. I don’t know how to get back.”

She spilled it all out.

What she remembered, her life at school before, her friends, the day it happened, how she felt when it happened, her conversation with the professors and Aurors. Everything but her name. She held tightly to her name, to her familial connections, unwilling to let it go.

“Why have you told us? If it is so dangerous?” Ominis asked. Erica stopped herself for a moment to wander. She knew why, because they had been a light in her new life, because knowing her is dangerous. They deserved to know why they were in danger.

“Because by saving my life, you're involved.” She said, “By being kind to me, for saving me that day, I couldn’t leave you in the dark. Because I didn’t want to be alone anymore. It’s selfish, I know.” she said, clinging to herself again. “Professor Sharp is convinced that if someone outside the ministry knew, then they would want to use me to change the future for their benefit. I need to know how to fight them off.”

“You…” Ominis curled his brow down, a range of emotions played over him. He started to pace a little next to Sebastian. “You said your father found this room?” He asked although he had just thought it up, as though it wasn’t the question he wanted to ask.

“He will find this room.” She nodded. “He and his brother used to have a map that showed them nearly every secret in Hogwarts. They found this one before they left, and my dad told me about it in my second year.” she finally found the warmth she was searching for. “Or they will? I still get stuck on tenses,” Ominis squared his shoulders, a sad bravery coming over him, as if resolve and the need to know was fighting his slight disbelief.

“You said you had bad business with the Gaunts.”

Erica blanched again, but this time it came with a queasy feeling in her stomach. “Yes. But you don’t want to know about it, Ominis. It was… it will be bad. There's nothing you can do about it,”

“How bad?” Sebastian asked his gaze shifting to his unmoving friend. She kept it as vague as she could, but she wanted to calm his anxiety.

“...Bad,” Erica answered with a sigh. “But I don't remember your name coming up, Ominis. You have nothing to do with it.” She wasn’t prepared for the relieved huff of air he released as he stopped pacing to lean against the table. Had… had it plagued him that much?

“How far in the future?” Sebastian cocked his head. “Where do you come from?” She grimaced, but gave it quickly now the rest of it was out.

“Just over…” she held herself tight again. “Just over 135 years.” Both boys stared in her direction in shock. “Yeah, I know.”

“Erica,” It was Ominis’ turn to speak, his voice high pitched and weak, like he didn’t want to say it. “If this is true… Please, believe me when I say we want to help you…”

“Ominis,” Sebastian cut him off.

“We can’t Sebastian. Gideon and I, you especially cannot afford to have Aurors around us,” She saw his fingers lace the flowers on the table, conflict clear as he stiffened his shoulders. “Not after everything we have done.”

Erica clutched at her arms. The ‘if’ hurt her more than she cared to admit, but she knew how huge this was, they would need time, she had.

“What have you done?” she asked lightly, but neither answered her. So she carried on instead. “Look, I'm not asking for you to be involved with the Aurors, I'm doing my best to stop them,” She wanted to shake him until he saw the truth. “I don’t know why you don’t like the aurors, I don’t like them, either. I want nothing more than to either go home, or turn invisible and live a quiet, peaceful life,” she explained. “But you know what happened the other day, I couldn’t stop a measly old man! Please, I just need to know enough to defend myself,” said. Again she saw the memories rush over him. She didn’t want to admit that she could still feel the warmth of his hand, that she imagined it when she felt scared. Between him and Sebastian she felt beyond safe. “I swear, it’s just duelling. I never even mentioned your name to the aurors.” Ominis sighed.

“Erica you don’t understand,” He glanced in his friend's direction. “The danger Sebastian will be in. It is life or death. It is not me I'm concerned about.” She didn’t know what to say. She shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. She looked towards Sebastian.

Neither of them said anything.

She had let them in, yet… they didn’t let her in. They weren't going to explain why they wouldn't help her. She couldn’t stop the pang of sadness hitting her chest. It felt like a freight train. She had opened up to them, perhaps they didn’t trust her now because of it?

“Of course,” she found herself saying, despite his refusal aching she could see the look on his face, the conflict that tensed his muscles. She had already asked so much of them. “Of course, Ominis. I understand.” Her throat bobbed with the lump forming there. No. She refused to cry. They had every right to say no. ‘If’ caught her mind again what if… what if they didn’t actually believe her, what if they were just placating her?

“I’m sorry,” She took a step back, wishing she could just curl into a ball forever. “I’m sorry, I asked a lot of you. I won’t… I won’t bring it up again.”

“Red, stop,” Sebastian stood again but she stepped out of his reach again. “Please just forget this, I asked way too much, I said too much.” She stepped away again, trying hard not to look at them. “Just forget about all this, i… uh…. I took a potion earlier and it…I’m just Insane Erica. Feckless Freddie. Don’t… worry. I’ll figure something out.” She tried to make herself laugh, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t find the right combination to ease them, to make them laugh and forget all of this. “I am… hungry. I’m gonna… go eat.” She turned quickly fleeing the room.

She was so stupid. Always so dumb. Now she had ruined one of the only good things she had here. She kept her arms curled around her. Ready to run up the long stairs to the Gryffindor tower.

“Red, hey, wait!” She didn’t want to, She didn’t want to look like the vulnerable girl running away with tears in her eyes, still she found herself stopping. He had followed her? She stopped on the stairs and let him grip her arm, turning her to face him.

“I’m sorry about Ominis, he’s just… I put him through a lot,” He said, careful to keep his voice quiet. She could hear the students above her. “He does want to help you, knowing him, he’s beating himself up right now.” She grimaced at him. It wasn’t helping. “I’ll talk to him okay, we can help you. We want to help you. He’s just scared,” she wasn’t so sure. But she had put him in a tough position. She couldn’t blame either of them. “I will teach you what I know, but I’d prefer not to go behind Ominis’ back… it didn’t end well last time and I can't do it to him again.” He looked away, his eyes unfocused and stuck in the memory he found. It took him a second to pull himself away from it.

“In the meantime,” He carried on. “Talk to Gideon,” he instructed. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Trust me, if anyone understands it will be him. Talk to him and I’ll talk to Ominis.” She gripped onto herself tighter.

“It seems all I've done since I got here is put on you,” She sighed, but jumped when his large warm hand landed on her head.

“No.” He said firmly.

“No?” she responded, and caught his gentle smile when she remembered their running joke.

“No, Red.” He answered, his fingers slipping through the red hair and dragging through the curls. He caught the ends and curled it around his finger lightly. Before placing his hand back on her head

“Really wouldn’t have it any other way,” He patted her head gently before turning back towards the Undercroft entrance. “Besides,” he raised his voice, far louder than needed. “You owe me a dinner date, Red! Like hell, I am going to miss out on that!”

She watched him leave, a tiny smile fighting its way through her. Despite the sadness that coursed through her, she didn’t blame Ominis at all for saying no. She had thrown a lot at him, at them both.

…

Erica had wanted to follow his advice, but found it increasingly more impossible to find him. Gideon was the Hero of Hogwarts, after all. While she knew he had saved the school against the goblin rebellion, no one ever knew how. Professor Binns and the others ghosts never told anyone how or why, only bragging they knew him and they helped.

Yet, despite being a fellow Gryffindor, he was especially hard to get a hold of. If he wasn’t in class, he was running off and no one seemed to know where. She had seen a few times, but he zoomed past her, only shouting a hello over his shoulder. It seemed the rest of the school was used to this as no one tried to stop or slow him.

There was one thing Erica was sure of.

She would no longer be a failure.

Whether Sebatian or Ominis helped her, whether she got ahold of Gideon, she wasn’t going to go out in a desperate whimper anymore. If she was going to fail, she was going to give everything she had first. Instead of moping about what she had lost, she was going to gain more. Frightened and possibly alone, but she was going to get up on her feet and stop relying on everyone else.

So she added more books to her studies, and curled up in the library almost every chance she got, learning about duelling or fighting or both. While the library was restricted on what it had on the subject, she reread every book she could get to.

Sebastian helped when he could, even offered to take her to the restricted section. Erica resolved to take him up on it, at some point. He would give her pointers, on what the books said, what they got right and wrong.

Diving into some more notes, Erica scribbled and tried not to nudge the boy next to her. Sebastian had buried his head in a book and from the gentle snores that came from him, she didn’t know how long it would take for him to take his head back out of it. Still, he looked tired enough for her to leave him be, and tried to stay quiet. Carefully she grabbed another when a mumble filled the air.

Erica looked up ready to glare at whomever tried to wake him, but realised the noise had come from the boy next to her. Sebastian mumbled incoherently again, turning his head into his arm resting across the book. His forehead crinkled with each new noise he made, whimpers that sprung a sweat across his brow. Lightly Erica drew her fingers across his head, tracing the infantasmal amount of freckles there, pulling his hair away from cold moisture that gathered.

“...A-An…” he whispered, fear masking his quiet voice. Erica scooted closer as quietly as she could. Should she wake him? She didn’t want him to be scared, but he looked so tired. Had he been having nightmares a lot?

“It’s alright, Sebastian,” she whispered back, but it didn’t soothe him. He was having a nightmare about his sister?

“....No… n-no please! I didn’t… mean it!” He whispered, yet it was still loud in the library, enough for the students closest to them to take notice. She shuffled over him again, pushing her fingers through his hair gently. He would hate people seeing him like this, anything but the suave and cool Sebastian he put on.

“Sebastian, it’s all right, you’re not there,” She tried again, hoping to coo him into a sounder sleep, but the nightmare had a tight hold of him

Thump!

Sebastian shot from the table, blinking blarily. Erica fell back from him, almost falling off her seat. A heavy book landed hard on the desk in front of them. Quickly followed by another.

Ominis dropped a third for good measure, and sat down, a small disciplined pout on his face. Sebastian watched him, not entirely awake. Ericas sighed into her notes.

Since her confession, Ominis had gone back to being cold to her. She understood why. She had scared him, if he even believed her at all. Sebastian assured her that was just the way he dealt with things. Alone and in his own time. She wished he didn’t feel he had to. She wished he would sit down and ask her all that was on his mind. Yet, Erica gave him his space.

“Are you alright?” She asked Sebastian instead. He looked at her, his warm eyes stone cold, still lost in the nightmare.

It was strange. The dark hazel almost swirled into pure darkness when he looked like that, as if he felt nothing but cold and hard. Nothing from what he normally portrayed himself as.

Like a switch he changed, the darkness in his eyes gathered some light in them and he smiled. It was a dimpleless smile, one she had learnt to read. It was also strange, she admitted to herself, how much she could read in his smiles. Almost as much as she could read in Ominis’ pouts.

When Sebastian smiled, and the cute dimples were in full force, he was truly happy. He meant what he said. When he smiled without the dimples, he often lied, or bragged, even flirted with anyone he laid eyes on - something Erica had seen herself in the few classes she had shared with him. Sometimes he smiled and it didn’t reach his eyes. She wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but it wasn’t good.

Ominis was much the same, to his disappointment. He had a small honest smile, a rare thing he didn’t hand out willingly, but meant every one of them. His stern colder but more neutral face he showed almost exclusively to the rest of the Hogwarts population. Sometimes, she thought he forgot others could see him. Beyond the sternness or coldness, there was a pain underneath. A pain he must recognise, and the moment he realised he felt it, or he wore it, he curled his gave back into something more neutral.

Neither had questioned her about her confession, it being a raw secret between them. With Ominis being cold, she had the feeling Sebastian was trying to spare his friend a little heartache. Although she would catch him sometimes watching her, smiling at the words he couldn’t understand, he opened his mouth to ask but never did so.

He gave her a dimpleless smile and recovered his book, which he had flung in his surprise awakening. Ominis sniffed at them not bothering to say anything, instead dropping letters on the books he had unceremoniously dropped on purpose.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asked Sebastian, carefully keeping her eyes on her notes. She wasn’t as suave at distraction as he was, but having a large and loud family made her exceptionally good at listening. He laughed, with no mirth in his voice. Erica knew what he was about to say, and her heart clanged against her chest. She wasn’t trying to be nosy, but she had the distinct feeling they were keeping things from her to. She had let them in. They had not done the same.

“No,”

“No?” She carried on his normal ongoing joke but he didn’t respond, only looking towards Ominis. She could see why.

Ominis looked shell shocked. His already pale face now had a thin shade of green. His wand was pressed against a letter, which was how he read things that weren’t in braille, and he held it in an unsteady hand.

“What is it? Your parents?” Sebastian asked quickly. “Or Marvolo?” he whispered the name through gritted teeth. Erica blanched at the name but coming from the way he had said it, she realised she wasn’t the only one who disliked it.

“No,” Ominis finally answered. “It’s for you.” he handed the paper over.

“It's from Anne.”

…

Erica sat at the well, wrapped her arms over her knees and waited. Sebastian had read the letter and ran before anyone could say a word. She and Ominis, abandoning all else, followed behind and luckily reached Sebastian in time to hear where he was going by Floo network. Feldcroft.

He had told her once it was his home away from Hogwarts, only during the summer or winter holidays. Luckily as well, she wasn’t banned from using the Floo network either.

Being that they told her little else, she elected not to follow them inside the home, only letting Ominis know she was outside if they needed anything. They were obstinate on keeping her out, she felt like a fool following them this far. Still, the scared look on Sebastian’s face made her follow, he had done so much for her. She could only follow and hope she could do the same in return.

No sooner did they go in the small shack, did they leave again, Sebastian looking dejected and Ominis fairly concerned.

“I know, I know, I just thought…” He still had the letter in his hand, his fingers laced around it as if it was a permanent fixture.

“What did the letter say?” Ominis asked, the town around them so quiet Erica could hear them from where she was. Sebastian sighed.

“That she missed me, that she wanted to talk,”

“So you decided to just impede on any space she might have?” Ominis asked. “Do you not think that might have scared her off?” Sebastian glared at his friend.

“I know that!” Erica moved towards them before a fight could break out between them. Sebastian watched her approach. Ominis must have heard her too, as he huffed.

“I’ll go ask around, and see if anyone has seen her,” he said. Ow, Erica thought, did he really not want to be around her that bad? She waited until he had left before she looked at the brown haired boy. In the light of the afternoon, his cheeks looked red under the abundance of freckles. He looked… sad.

“Anne is…” he stopped himself with a sigh. She knew who Anne was, and that illness took her from Hogwarts. She took hold of his robes and took him to a nearby wall. He looked pale and she worried he was about to faint. Sebastian leant back against it, now free of his own heaviness he lifted his face towards the sun, letting the rays bring the colour back to his face. “Anne is cursed,” he admitted.

Erica stood next to him quietly, letting him get all of it out. “She was cursed two years ago by a follower of Ranrok. She was in terrible pain.” his voice wavered, so she put her hand over his. He looked at their entwined hands and closed his fingers around hers gratefully. “I spent so long looking for a cure. I…I couldn’t lose her, you know? She was my only family.” he explained. “The only family that loved me, anyway.” She brought his hand to her stomach, hoping the warmth there would help him through his memories.

“She left… she because I…” his face fell. For the first time, Erica could see his true emotions. There was no fake smile, no dives into pleasure for distraction. Instead he looked very much like a young boy. A young boy who was lost and alone. “She left because I tried to help her. I was blind to everything else. She left because of me… I did something unforgivable,” She ran her fingers over his arm, trying to calm him. Unforgivable? There were many things that were unforgivable. She wouldn’t pry, not when he had admitted so much. She, like the others who were born after the war, knew about unforgivable things. She, like many others after the war, had watched family and their friends tear themselves apart. She supposed a lot of people did after any war. Unforgivable things were in abundance most days, and a lot of those unforgivable things were, actually, forgivable. There was no way he would allow Anne, or Ominis or even Erica to forgive him, if he did not forgive himself first. She said nothing to him, instead letting go of his hand and winding her arms around his broad torso, curling into the thick green jumper. Erica buried her head into Sebastian’s collar. She didn't know what he had done, and he would not tell her all of it, but she wrapped herself into him anyway. He had done something unforgivable for love. Thinking of what she would do for love too, she empathised with his pain.

She pulled him tighter when his hands splayed across her shoulders, his breath drawing down her back and he tucked his face into her neck.

He held her like he was drowning. Like she was the only thing afloat, and he had no strength left to swim. She hoped she could pull him from his nightmare, like he so often did for her and tangled her fingers into the prickly green jumper, her hands under his robes. She felt his breath skitter and stutter, as if he was trying not to cry. She wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“She wrote to me.” he said, voice muffled by her shoulder and hair, “She said she missed me, and wants to talk to me,” Sheer belief traced his words. “But I don't know if I should write back. What I did…”

His body felt warm, and he had long hard muscles under the clothes. It felt so natural to hold him, his smell surrounding her. He smelled like mint and floo powder.

“You should try and connect with her again.” Erica finally encouraged. “She’s your sister, if anyone would understand, it would be her,” he nodded and squeezed her tighter. “If not, then at least you can tell yourself you tried.” His arms almost completely enveloped her, and soon she realised he had tangled his fingers in her hair.

“Ahem!”

Sebastian reluctantly pulled his hands away and let Erica move away. Ominis held his wand out and faced towards them, his features pulled into the forced neutral sternness. Erica cleared her throat and stood away, suddenly feeling cold. While they hadn’t done anything wrong, Erica’s heart thumped, as if she had just ran miles.

“No one’s seen her,” Ominis said bluntly. Sebastian nodded, clearing his own throat as he crossed his arms.

“Sorry,” he looked at Erica, and flashed a non-dimpled smile. “I got distracted. Turns out Erica’s a very good distraction.” She sighed but still flashed her own playful smile.

“There we go, I was getting worried, wondering where Sebastian was.” she answered. A hint of dimple showed through.

“I need some air,” He huffed. “How about we take a walk? It’s Saturday after all, can’t let Erica have bad grades.”

“Sure,” Ominis drooled annoyedly but turned and led the way.

They walked and talked for a while. Enjoying the unseasonably warm day. Sebastian and Ominis talking about what he should say to Anne. While he was still not fully back to how he had been, he at least, was a little excited. Looking over the letter over and over again.

Erica, from what she could pull from the conversation, figured out he had been having nightmares for a year now. Ever since the mysterious ‘unforgivable’ incident. They had been bad for the last few months though not one of them could figure out why.

Soon out of Feldcroft, they decided they would walk towards Irondale and take the Floo network back. Since neither could apparate, and Erica had never carried two people, walking seemed like the best option. Sebastian had never learned despite it being on his list to do, and Ominis had a pretty natural fear of apparating into a wall.

Now she was open to do it, she did tell them about her own family, still not her real name, but she hoped Sebastian could relate to all the times she had annoyed her sister. How Roxanne had not so affectionately called her Feckless Freddie, because she didn’t think. Which was kind of true, she had to admit, but she had gotten her sister into plenty of situations and she had been forgiven. She was sure the same could be done, for whatever Sebastian had done. Ominis had frowned, admitting to her that his own family would not. In fact, his own family would probably do far worse to him. She wanted to ask, but something ahead of them caught Sebastian’s attention.

“Red, does that look… off to you?” She glanced forward. They had been following the road and had seen spurts of people come and go. Yet up ahead, there were two men stopped, arguing with a single man. They had their arms crossed and even from a distance she could see their wands. Sebastian described what he could see to Ominis as Erica turned.

Another two a distance behind them. Only this pair was sauntering up slowly behind them. “Behind us,” Sebastian swore as his eye caught them too.

“They can’t be for us.”

“Really? Because it does seem like they are, in fact, for us.” Ominis muttered. “Considering they have blocked the way forward and back.” Erica felt a hand curl around her robe and pull her back, in between the boys. She found, to her surprise, it wasn’t Sebastian’s. “You said you could apparate?”

“Yes, but not with two passengers, only recently passed my test,”

“That doesn’t matter,” Ominis said. “If you can go, you should. You said people shouldn’t get a hold of you.” Erica sighed, knowing that Feckless Freddie was raising an ugly head.

“Not without you two.”

Ominis mumbled under his breath. “Erica, you said they were after you…”

“There's no way they could be,” she shook her head. “Unless the professors or the Auror’s told someone, there's no way anyone could know,” she was sure it wasn’t one of the boys, it felt like an impossible thing to be one of them. Still, the clinging hand, keeping her planted between them, stayed.

Ominis sighed.

“Still not a reason to stay, Erica. Should they find out about you, while you are here,”

“Why? You gonna tell ‘em?” she managed to put a little laughter in her voice, and hid her now shivering fingers in her cloak. She watched his face redden, but couldn’t tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

“Of course not, you dolt!” he said, shifting his head. The two behind them were getting closer, she guessed he could hear them now.

“Then act natural, and keep going,” she lowered her voice, but didn’t pull his hand away.

“Not to be funny Red, but you're rather distinctive, if someone was looking for you, you’d stand out.” Sebastian moved, slightly in front of her as the single man gave up and turned on his heel, making the other men turn. She pulled at her red hair, tucking the longer curls under her robe as if it would help.

“Look, it's probably just some idiots trying to scare school children.” Erica said weakly. Now that both sets of men had their eyes on them her argument was failing. Ominis tilted his head again, hearing something they could not.

“Into the woods, now!” Ominis growled. Sebastian and Erica didn’t have to be told twice. She locked on to Ominis’ hand and pulled him along beside her. She felt bad when he tripped a few times, but it was better than leaving him behind, or losing track of him. Once he realised, he let his wand focus on the floor, while she pulled him out of the way of far larger objects. Erica was slow to run with him, but there was no way she was going to leave him behind.

Her fears grew as she heard the shouts from behind them, yelling at them to stop. A tug at her arm pulled her into Ominis side, her force knocking him into a tree. A yellow spell whizzed past her head close enough for her to yelp.

“Erica, go…” Ominis pleaded again, out of breath. Annoyed, she gripped his hand harder.

“Not. Without. You.” She tugged him into a run again, pulling as Sebastian in front of them curled around and returned fire, allowing them some clearance.

She ran past him with Ominis, hearing his footsteps slam into the foliage behind her, she didn’t have to stop and check. The line of trees were starting to thin as the land ascended.

“Right!” she warned Ominis, turning after giving him a second to catch on. Sebastian shouted another spelled behind her, the smell of it burning the air. She could still hear the shouts, and the buzzing overhead. Shit. The treeline was thinning here too. Dots of colour flew above them, violets and yellows zooming across the sky ahead of them. More than the four men that had forced them into the woods.

“Shit,” she swore breathily. Her hand felt numb in Ominis’, his grip crushing hers with just as much vigour as she held his. It was too late to stop, instead they broke to the treeline, a plateau of fields ahead, but she could see a small hamlet.

“Sebastian! There!” it was remote enough that it would no doubt have a floo network. If they could reach it, school and safety would be in reach. She heard his heavy steps behind her, Ominis puffing beside her, they were going to be safe… they were going to be out…

A wall of fire cascaded in front of them and she nearly pulled Ominis to the floor trying to stop his run. He gathered his mind faster than she did, pulling his wand into a defensive position and planting his feet. Sebastian tumbled into her back at the sudden stop, but he too quickly recovered. He was breathing heavily from their run too, but he pulled his wand out, only he kept his back to Erica, facing where more of their stalkers stepped out of the flames.

“I… guess it’s time… for your… first lesson.” he rasped. She pulled out her own wand, while she had gotten used to its newness, it still felt foreign in her hand. But it had chosen her, just like she had chosen it so she gripped it and trusted it.

“Throw me… in the deep end… huh?” She almost felt Ominis whole body move with his eyes rolling. Her own stomach rolled and clenched when he moved in front of her at the footsteps leading from the now dying flames. She should have stood like them, ready to battle, ready to cast, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Instead she wove her arm in front of Ominis, as if her arm could shield him, her wand hand shot out behind her providing what coverage she could to Sebastian. There was little her arms could do against spells and magic, but she did so anyway.

“Tell me… Sensei,” she breathed unsure if he could hear her, if his heart was beating as loudly as hers. “What’s my… first lesson?”

“Oo, Sensei? One of your special words again… you’re going to have to teach me, I like it” she could hear the grin on his voice.

“It’s Japanese, Sebastian!” Ominis grumbled in front of them, and the annoyance wavering to anger. “Plant your feet.” Ominis tilted his head. “Keep your wand ready. Always shield first. Then counter. This isn’t a duel. They won’t abide by rules.”

“I’ll handle these guys,” Sebastian said confidently. Facing the small group stalling behind them. “Ominis?”

“I know, I’ve got her,”

“We just wanted to talk,” the bulkier of the group stepped forward. He waved his wand as he spoke then pinched either end between his hand, the essence of boredom wafting away from him. “Where’s the tall one? It’s always you two and the tall one, got scared did he?” The tall one? Gideon? He was the only one she could think of that fit the description. The mask on his face started to shine with the drizzle of rain around them. The trio said nothing, keeping their tight formation. Ominis trained his wand on the man talking.

“Not that it matters of course,” The man said, even under the mask Erica could feel his eyes fall on her. “We just want to chat.”

“Oh? I’ll order us some tea,” Erica said aloud. She needed to say something, do something, her muscles and bones ached with the tension. “Please, wait here, we’ll be right back.” The man cocked his head, but laughed, while there was a genuine surprise in it, there was also something cold and dark and malicious.

“Perhaps our… talk would be best in private, don’t you think?” Ominis shifted closer to her again, and Sebastian, cool free hand glanced against her. They were still here. Reassurance cooled her rapidly heating body,

“How inappropriate, you should at least buy me dinner first,” She faintly heard a mumble behind her, something about how he asked first, it lightened the load building in her chest. She didn’t know why she was antagonising him, she didn’t truly know why she kept talking… she just… she didn’t want the boys to know she was afraid. Seeing them now, trying so hard to protect her, she didn’t want them to know how her hands were quaking, how her knees could barely stand. They stood, calm and collected, as if this were an everyday occurrence, she wanted to be brave, just like them.

The man only smiled and shifted, turning to another in the group in front of him. Erica knew him. Or… she knew she knew him from somewhere. But for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why or where from. He came forward standing next to the masked man. He narrowed his eyes looking the trio up and down. There was a boredom in his demeanour.

“She’s the one. Bring her. Be as rough as you need to be,”

Erica panicked and clung closer to the boys. Despite the consequences, she thought about apparateing them out, but the danger of splinching was way too severe, still she considered it.

“You don’t want to do that,” Sebastian muttered darkly. “I bet she bites,”

“You should ask your friend in hogsmeade, the snivelling alcoholic that i could smell from Zonkos.” Ominis added.

“Friend?” Erica whispered. What?

“The hogshead isn’t as quiet as most people believe.” Ominis kept his voice stern. “I know that voice.” Still confused, she found her arm tightening around him. If Ominis knew him, then he could be in danger. She felt the muscles under her hand stiffen a little, his body shivered. In anticipation? The newer man, slimmer and with sunken cheeks, dark eyes snapped to the pale boy. He sneered, but otherwise remained uncaring.

“Kill them and take her,” Erica readied to grab them, consequences be damned, but it all happened so fast.

At his order, the goons moved.

At the goons movement Sebastian shot forward a loud booming spell.

Ominis, in front of her, deflected other spells that shot at him. While her deflections weren’t as quick or precise, she spun, deflecting the spells shot beyond Sebastian at Ominis. She planted her feet, just as Ominis had told her to do, finding herself forced back with each spell. She was still too close to him for Protego to work, the spell only made for one person, so she gave them both just enough space to be able to cast it.

Sebastian had left their side, and quickly lost himself in the battle, flinging spells this way and that, his shield flying up to knock the spell away before he quickly countered.

There was an anger in his movements, a pent up rage that echoed with every spell he shouted. Even the aggressive goons couldn’t keep up with his force. One fell, then two. If she was any less panicked, she would have been impressed. Ominis had thinned out the group on his side two, both were clearly skilled. Or this wasn’t even close to their first time fighting a small horde.

Erica did as she was told and kept her wand raised, while giving ominis the space. He must have heard her though, when as she moved back, he would angle between her and the noise in front of him, barely took them anything at all to fight the group, and it took all she had not to stop to admire them.

The man who had ordered her capture had sprung back, past the group watching with irritation as the group he had selected fell to two (and a half) students. The thicker man in the mask was far more challenging, leading Ominis to have to use Protego multiple times before he could even counter.

Erica wasn’t quick enough to cast and counter spells, but she had his back, deflecting the spells that came from behind or out of nowhere. She turned and found that Sebastian had disappeared.

“Sebastian!” She shouted for him, looking through the flames that had been flames from the spells, turning the green background a violent orange. The rain had grown into thick clumps and even that moisture couldn’t contain the magical flames. “Ominis I can’t see him!” Ominis moved quickly, shooting out quick short bursts of red, pinning the thinker man back, giving her enough cover to dart out, closer to the flames. She looked through the violent hue before spotting the green, still battling. Sebastian looked… so different.

A smaller masked witch was behind him. She was going to get him from behind. No! Erica thought, it was all she could think, even when she raised her hand again.

“Depulso!” She flung the spell at the witch, catching her off guard and Sebastian spun on the spot. His eyes glanced from the witch to her and Erica shivered. His eyes were dark, she could see it from where she stood, Sebastian wasn’t in them, a cruel frown marked his lips, it was like he couldn’t see her at all. It was like he wasn’t here at all.

She heard a whizz before she saw it, but Ominis’ warning was still at the front of her thoughts, now away from him, she cast Protego, and flinched as the spell hit against her shield. She flung a spell back in the same direction, but didn’t see where it had come from, only looking back through the flames, Sebastian had gone again.

She didn’t have time to shout for him again before another barrage of spells had her shielding again. She tried to plant her feet, but every spell was pushing her back, she was getting too close to the flames.

Erica wasn't sure what it was about this spell that caught her attention, there were enough spells flying through the air.

Sebastian wasn't listening, he fought fiercely and ferociously and her shouts could no longer get to him. Ominis was caught way in front of her, trying to keep the other men and the masked man off her back, letting her try to get Sebastian to come back from his hazy delirium. But all Erica could see was one wizard. It was like time had slowed down, and she could see his intentions. She could see the way he looked at his victim, see the wand move, and glow a violent red. The name of the spell wrung through the air as he shouted it with such hatred it would have made her shiver. Crucio.

She moved without thought, letting her form curl into the air, desperate to just move. The world span and twisted, grew and shrunk and the sinking feeling of being pulled sunk into her stomach. But she could control it, she could move it, move herself, she had been taught how. She concentrated hard, putting every other thought behind her.

Ominis, just Ominis. Not fear, not the flames. Just him. She tore into the air, apparating.

Erica had always thought her first instinct would be to lash out, to hit and kick and tear until the threat was gone. That had been her instinct before.

Instead she found herself away from the threat, her fear choosing her fate. Instead, her body twirled in the air behind Ominis. She had wanted to grab him and apparate again, but there was no time. “No!” She yanked him instead pulling him out the way and…

The red spell hit her square in the chest.

Agony. Unlike any she had ever felt. So white hot, so unforgiving her body seized. The scream that built to unload some pressure stuck in her throat. It surged up and down her body, never settling, never stopping to give any reprieve. The moment it hit her she wanted to die. She wanted it to stop. The torment so abysmal she thought it would never end, the stinging pain stabbing at her, keeping her from losing consciousness. She forgot who she was, where she was, the things she loved and hated.

The grass underneath her felt like razors and the hands that desperately ran over her were crushing cinder bricks scraping against her.

"No! Nonononono!" Ominis sheltered over her unmoving form, shielding her from the barrage of spells that whirled overhead. "Breathe," he tried to think, tried to remember what had got him through. He couldn't. He couldn't remember the pain ending. Trauma forcing him to remember every bone shattering moment, and yet nothing useful at all. Another spell whirled overhead and he yelped, pulling her closer, curling her into him. Shouts approached him, spells he could know where aimed at him, but he didn't move, protego wouldn't cover her too, so he did. Her body shuddered violently at his touch, but he had no choice.

He had heard the spell, it had reached him with earth shattering clarity over the shouting and other spells. He didn't even have time to think about what or who it hit. Just the spell, then freezing cold air, then Erica had dragged him to the ground. Her fingers had torn into him, strangled noises poured out of her. He had realised with no uncertainty that spell was meant for him, the way she had rammed into him, there was no doubt.

He wished it had hit him.

…

Sebastian knocked another down and he felt nothing. There was a time when duelling was fun. He was the best at it, and he loved watching others challenge him and fail. Gideon came close, Ominis came close, but no one else beat him at a duel.

Not even his uncle.

When he looked at the people on the floor now, he saw him. He saw him in different clothes, in the eyes under the masks. He shut his eyes to it, cut off the bubble in his chest. He chose to feel nothing.

He had already left a handful in his wake before he even remembered where he was. His mind numb and cold, he couldn’t even respond when he heard a yell behind him, only watching the witch fly back. Someone… was there? He turned back and saw something… something blood red in the flames, but he turned again, a spell caught his attention and he turned from the blood red thing. Fight. It was all that was in him. He no longer remembered why or what for. Just to fight.

He didn’t want to. The hesitance vaguely there under the void. But every spell expanded it. Every shout was his uncles, every spell came from his wand. He fought and he fought, slammed the same man in a different body down over and over again. He knew if he stopped, if he didn’t get through it, his uncle, through whomever vessel he chose, would strike him down. Last year, he would have wanted that. Ominis had saved him… Ominis…

He was out here, somewhere he was with… Red. Blood Red. Erica.

“Get a hold of yourself! Idiot!” a voice came through the void. A small brunette was in front of him. He didn’t know where she had come from. He didn’t know why or how. But her voice, strained with stern vitriol, sliced through the void like a knife.

Whatever darkness had sucked him in, the familiar darkness that consumed him when he fought others, was dampened. Something even Ominis could not do.

The brunette in front of him sliced at the opponents, movement s wild and manic as she spelled and pushed at the goons he hadn’t got to.

But he knew her.

The moment he saw her pale face, furrowed thick brows and stony grimace, the darkness slinked back to wherever it hid during the day.

Anne.

“Sebastian! Get your head together!” she had said. His little gremlin of a sister was here. She was here! She was back. As she yelped, as a violet light just missed her, it felt like his head was finally screwed back onto his shoulders. Instead of nothing, anger tore through him. Never again. She wouldn’t be hurt ever again.

He returned to his fray with new vigour, with a familiar warmth sinking in between him and his wand, that had been cold and hard in his hand.

The feeling of having her by his side again. It was like a breach of sun through the overcast day, it used to be stormy and rainy. Ominis pulled him out of that, and then Red… Red? He cast his eyes back to the flames but he didn’t see her. He didn’t see her or Ominis. His feet wouldn’t move, Anne was here. He turned his attention to the last of them, and the pair quickly got through them

Before he could talk before he could grab her and hold his sister, she gripped his arm and ran towards the flames.

“Hurry!” Whatever she had seen frightened her. He followed without question

Ominis stayed over Erica. Even when he felt the slice to the back of his arm, even when the shouts promised him he’d live if he ran. He refused to move. He had known torture before, from them it was nothing, from her… he begged her to wake up.

As her body started to seize a sob bubbled out of him. She had taken it, she had taken the pain meant for him. They would have to kill him to do so again.

He gripped tighter to his wand.

“I’m here, Erica, just breathe, I’m here.” He ducked his head closer as flames danced over them. His heart felt crushed in his chest when she whimpered at his protective touch. Behind him there were scarpering movements, grunts and more fire. A scuffle sounded around him, and the pair of feet closest to him had won. The other sets must have apparated or something. He only heard the two pairs

No.

The fast pace steps came for him again, no, they wouldn't hurt her.

"Stay back," he shot out his wand, sending out a flurry of red. A voice he knew, one he held dear, shielded themselves from his spells, but for the life of him he couldn't remember who it was. He cursed at his eyes, that couldn't see her, couldn't look over her and find what hurt the most, soothe what hurt the most.

"Ominis! Stop!" A voice again, a female voice, another he knew, but just couldn't think to recognise. The desperation and fire was just enough to bring him back to his senses.

Sebastian. It was Sebastian… and Anne.

But Sebastian had cast that spell before too. It wasn't him. He knew it wasn't him that cast it at Erica. Yet his voice swirled among all the others that now screamed at him. He had heard the spell so many times, felt it ...cast it. He had cast it.

This was his fault. This was penance for what he had done.

He had cast the spell on someone to spare himself in the past, and now Erica was paying for it.

Beyond him silence had finally fallen. But ominis didn't care. They could be dead for all he cared. All he could do was hold her as she shook in his arms.

Erica could hear every cry he made. The darkness, the need to fade into the pain, refused to come. Her scream still stuck, now clenched her tight.

"Breathe," Ominis repeated, high pitched and forceful. "Breathe, Erica. Breathe through the pain," She tried. Beyond the terror and pain, she felt the build up in the chest but it refused to let her go. He was here. The feeling of him in her mind, muddied with every razor cut against every atom of her being, forced its way through. Something warm, gripped her hand. It shot electricity up her arm, but she didn't care. Another wave passed over, but in the seconds of white hot pain, so unbearable it reached the point beyond pain, she felt him there. Felt his words.

He wasn't hurt. She remembered now. She was Erica, and she had stopped him from being hurt. In that second, she forced the breath out, it came out as a whimpering moan, but the one breath was all she needed, as the others followed it. The next wave didn't reach the pinnacle of unbearable, it didn't stop her breaths, and it invited the darkness forward. it was slow to cover her body, the ebbs and eaves fought it. But finally, finally, the pain eased into darkness and Erica fell into unconsciousness.

— - - - - - -

thanks for reading guys sorry it took so long, totally addicted to the chat ai lol but i got some ideas coming up that may be worth it

thanks for reading and please forgive any mistakes heres the rest of it the story if you want to read it

Time will tell. (39169 words) by Vyvyanrose Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Sebastian Sallow/Original Female Character(s), Ominis gaunt / original female charcter, Sebasatian sallow/MC, Ominis Gaunt/MC Characters: Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt, Garreth Weasley, Natsai Onai, Poppy Sweeting, Amit Thakkar, Matilda Weasley, Leander Prewett, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: 18+, Time Travel, Hogwarts Legacy - Freeform, Choose Your Own Ending, Swearing, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Sebastian Sallow, Jealous Sebastian Sallow, Very protective Garreth Weasley, Non-Canon Family Tree Summary: Erica Weasley wasn’t dead. A rogue spell has sent Erica Weasley back into time to the year 1891 and now must face life a a modern woman in a not so modern time. Trying to settle with the help of two Slytherin boys and her ancestor she finds like life isn’t so bad. However something else lurks in the shadow of Hogwarts and Erica feels like the prime target, a chance to make the future theirs.

#hogwarts legacy #romance #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #fanfic #fanfiction #hogwarts

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