#i do my chores i go to work
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#i miss art man fuck#i wish i knew a way to like. fast forward this mental dip bc its hell#i just keep seeing time go by and realize another day has passed and I've done nothing with myself.#no art. no writing. i don't do anything expect lay here and waste away#like yeah i do adulting stuff#i do my chores i go to work#but thats kinda it?#even when i hang out with people its just. rotting in a different location.#i miss the stuff that i adore doing#i miss having the attention span to sit and enjoy a game or show#i miss sitting down and drawing for hours or staying up writing#i think about it constantly#but that wall is so firmly up that i never DO it#and everyone in my life just keeps telling me 'just do it!' as a solution#i cant stand it#the longer it goes on the more i feel like a failure. or like i only exist to help other people#there is no 'me'. just a person people can rely on#i have no ability to be me anymore and it sucks#vent
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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Harry squeezes a local Club manager to let them have a swim in the fancy ass pool in return for keeping a drugging/poisoning case quiet
#Ive been really productive the last few days but i go back to work so thats gonna change#Maybe this isnt universal but the most easygoing and eager to skinnydippers ive met are trans guys haha#And i like the thought of kim being so tightened til theres relative privacy and also a body of water OUT OF THE WAY#Hes really disapproving of harry doing this until it works! Then hes excited. so they come back in the wee hours to 'interview a late night#They have to be hush about it bc they dont want anyone else tagging along#God when im bored for multiple days instead of doing chores my brains starts writting fic i guess.
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TADA! Fanart for @pillowspace's Celestial Sundown fic!! I'm super duper happy with this-- as I ought to be, with the time it took 😤hehehe!
Leave it to Pillow to pull me back into sun & moon with their phenomenal work! C: It's right up my alley and I look forward to seeing what happens!
#my art#SUPER PROUD OF THIS ACTUALLY#HOPE YOU LIKE IT PILLOW#gift art#fanart#digital art#daycare attendant#sundrop#celestial sundown au#BIG FAN#GIVES SUN A BIIIIIIIIIIG MWAH AH <3#rubs my back#i gotta go get my LAUNDRY. AND FOLD IT. AND PREP MY LUNCH FOR THE WEEK#AND LAYING OUT ALL OF MY OUTFITS FOR WORK. FUCK!!#AUUGHHH#making him do all of my chores for me
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Married your honor.
Damn, what a picky bastard, seriously.
백공죽 Expanded Version.
#백설공주에게 죽음을#black out#This is the look my mom gives my dad when he offers to help with housework but ends up making it a bigger chore.#NSCs “where are you going I washed it already” face is so cute I wanna 🤏him my guy is actually confused there#JW lets out a dramatic sigh *I'm so gonna divorce him* and starts scrubbing the dishes furiously#I told you all the unpacking and cleaning up was JWs work#My man NSC is incapable of doing homework 😫#JW this clean freak was made to eat the food from the prison floor 💔#the disbelief and annoyance on JWs face is killing me
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I'm not sure I'll be able to respond to all cat pics there's like 4 pages in there 💦
#not an art#I'll do it til i give up tho#Whenever I got sth going on my days are very full#Dayjob 8-16. Gym 16-17:30. Bus to my parents to deal with my dog 18-???. Commissions and chores when I get home.#Tomorrow I gotta get ready for Chinese NY right after work and then do festivities til like 21#You get the gist. Woe is me etc. Just kidding I enjoy being busy. Keeps the Thoughts at bay
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you have my soul, you have my heart ♡
#LUCY#Band LUCY#Shin Yechan#Choi Sangyeop#Cho Wonsang#Jo Wonsang#Shin Gwangil#LUCY fanart#take 2 because i'm a distaster and posted this on the wrong blog haha#still figuring how out to tag these lol#kitkatart#i did it!! it's finally done!! on time!!!#well maybe not on time but in time lol#2022 encore concert live clip of flare my love#flare really is one of my absolute favorite songs#no matter how many times i hear it i fall in love with it every time#but this version in particular is so magical :)#i was thinking i might make a few freebies of the individual member versions for the vancouver show#do you think people would like that? i've never made freebies before so i'm not sure!#i think i'd be too shy to post about it and then hand them out but we'll see haha#okay back to chores and concert prepping again#i cannot believe i'm going to two lucy concerts and then have a work conference like two days after#i was only going to go to one concert but was convinced to go to a second at the last minute. to be fair it didn't take much convincing#this really did take forever but part of that is probably bc i haven't drawn anything real in like more than a year#also was i testing the procreate layer limit or was the procreate layer limit testing me lol#okay i'm done now i'll stop yapping :D#i hope you're all doing well!!#UPDATE: i did pass these out as freebies and also to the lucys AHHH#I will never be over seeing them live and getting to meet them oh my gosh#they were soooo amazing and so so so sweet 🥺 other walwals at the concerts were also so nice!!
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going to bed nice and early on a saturday night because i dont have a life or friends or passions or energy all i have is the almost 12 hour shift i worked at my shit job today. #inmytwenties #20s
#since i got dumped i literally just dont do anything social. i just go to work and run errands and do chores and thats all#i mean in person. im always on that damn phone <333333#kora.txt#its like being 13 again id die without my friends in my phone
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Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today
#im studying myself like a bug. with no judgement or compulsive self hate when i see the results. and then doing something different based on#those results#and its working#ive noticed that im much more productive when i have someone else to help or listen to. its a little uh sad because im not easily able to#to take care of myself and do things for MYSELF. but if its for someone else then its like i gain momentum#going out to clean out MY car? well i dont care how gross it is im not worth the effort.#cleaning out my car for my brother who i drive to therapy every other week? fuck yes its going to be nice and clean because therapy is impo#rtant and i want to help you stick with it and so we make it not a chore but lighthearted sibling time#like do you get it#anyway slow progress is still progress#the number of good days are slowly catching up to the number of bad days#post beginning of the pandemic 2020 was so brutal on me. moving back in with my parents especially#but i have a plan now . a real one. and friends to help me as well !#oops rambling in the tags haha#long tags
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i support Yoo Joonghyuk Wrongs because i'd be so pissed if i was severely suicidal and some asshole convinced me to Give Life A Chance and gave me hope and then fucked off for three years letting me think he was dead??? leaving me to watch all of our friends do stupidly risky shit like the stuff i used to do before he made me Care about my and their lives?? NOT warning me and NOT telling me what he was doing like okay fuck that guy actually!!!!
#oh okay we're life and death companions?? CAN YOU ACTUALLY LIVE FOR A CHANGE THEN???????#i'm living i chose to live because of YOU BY THE WAY so if we're supposed to be life or death companions you have to live too!#that's how it works! you fucking dingus jerkwad bastard asshole!!!!!#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yjh#kdj#my posts#love kim dokja. also hate him on behalf of every single character.#the way he comes back and his biffles 1) lock him up 2) sedate him 3) try to get the right of life or death over him so as to forcibly#remove his ability to sacrifice himself all the goddamn time 4) get arrested with him so he won't be alone in the underworld 😂🤣😭#just picturing all of them working out a chore list in the industrial complex but it's just shifts of#Sitting On Dokja-Ssi's Chest So He Can't Go Anywhere Or Do Anything#usually when there's a character who doesn't realize how adored they are i'm dragging my fingers down my face like#rapunzel the lanterns are for you!!!#but with this guy specifically i just want to hold him down and shriek directly into his earholes.
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maizuru and milsiril are my favorite fucked up dungeon meshi mother figures
#dungeon meshi#maizuru#milsiril#my post#both were involved in some kind of highly skilled group (espionage/ninja work and the canaries)#maizuru and milsiril both have some aspect that makes their relationship with their sort of son innately complicated.\#maizuru has been having and affair and milsiril has biases towards short lived races#both dote heavily on them but milsiril does it more clearly in an overprotective way#their sons have complicated emotions towards them. and they’re right for that#lets see… toshiro always eats the food maizuru makes due to the love in its preparation. he doesn’t seem to have a relationship with his mok#*mom#so he was very close to maizuru#but after finding out she and his dad was having an affair he closed off from her. maizuru still heavily dotes on him however#maizuru also invented a spell to scare his child self into returning to her#and trained ninja techniques into him (I believe?)#and milsiril (though she did train him) didn’t like the idea of kabru going into dangerous dungeons#she ended up coddling him in that regard. he doesn’t know how to do household chores (but I doubt toshiro knows either LMAO)#(he probably has servants or maizuru who do it for him)#but in fighting specifically:#milsiril also trained kabru in sword fighting but unlike maizuru’s training it’s not very useful in the dungeon#now back to food:#unlike maizuru’s food the elven foods milsiril gave kabru weren’t as well received#that has to do with the different culture he’s from though#he thinks of his birth mom’s food more and had a stringer relationship with her#*stronger#despite some issues kabru says that he’s grateful for her as his foster mom (iirc)#I imagine toshiro’s probably the same way even if he wouldn’t admit it (BECAUSE MAIZURU IS FUCKING HIS DAD???)#toshiro doesn’t feel close to any of his family so his biggest connections as a kid probably would’ve been maizuru and hien.#kabru has milsiril and rin and all anyone could ever want but would never want to return to#anyways. end of essay. tldr: milfs are messy
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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it's not that i think i shouldn't have to work it's just that i want more time in the day for me to do other shit
#like unless i wanna lose sleep my current schedule offers me like 4 hours of free time#and that's just part time. if i went to full time then i would have like maybe 1#i need days to be longer so i can have more time to myself#that or my family has to finish watching ds9 so i can stop watching shows with them as much#idk i just feel like the only time i have to do anything hobby related is late at night when i should be in bed#and that makes me unhappy#not to mention if i wanna do any chores or important life stuff those also take up my free time#leaving me with even less#ugh whatever i gotta go to work now. you get the idea
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It's been a horribly stupid day but on the bright side I finished organizing my notes for the next chapter (roughly 75 pages of them. why) SO
#i can't go shopping because i need to wait for my february budget#and i've done that a couple times already this month#anyway things are looking up now. tomorrow i'm taking the day off to do chores and sew#saturday i'm gonna work on interview materials#monday i shall start writing. twill be great
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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands
#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me#i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me#i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the#severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult#but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant#and yet sometimes i get everything clearly#there are still ways to go#i still have to find a therapist#cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD#but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism#im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist#i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years#i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games#like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars#all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this#I'm scared that making art is not one of those things#i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it#but then why am i so good at it#like...#petrotalk
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my brain is consistently fogged and i dont like it
#txt#i havent called my parents this week and i know my mom will be upset and i literally have no reason other than#sorry i felt like im not real the entire week and kept falling asleep. the entire week#i finally changed sheets on my bed#i made some macaroni#alll of which i wanted to do yesterday#and i havent done any chores i didnt wash the floor and i didnt vacuum and i didnt dust anything#i feel fucking terrible#i dont want to go to work tomorrow#i want to talk to my friends
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