#i do anything and she has only two emotions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darnell-la · 13 hours

Text

𝗜'𝗟𝗟 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧

pairing: old man!logan howlett x young female!reader

warnings: staring, rude people in public, Logan with no emotion, begging, oral (male receiving), riding, doggy, neck kisses, slightly forced cream pie, multiple orgasm, moans from both sides, very rough sex, angry animalistic Logan, etc.

request: Hi! I love your work, Could I request Oldman!Logan x young fem!reader (22 years) that has a baby fever and really wants to have Logan's baby (also to shut the mouths of those who make fun of her dating an older man), she decides to prepare a surprise for him so that he can get her pregnant soon. Reader is needy and Logan is rude.

note: Logan as always is mean and an over-thinker, but he can’t seem to not give what his perfect girl wants. A breeding session.

teaser - Logan gets kinda subby in here. can’t stop cumming…

———

How do you guys feel about an X-Men story with the reader? Logan is rude Logan at first, then slowly shows small affection towards the reader. Jealousy and things of that sort. They soon hit it off, and after Logan starts acting rude again because he’s scared of the love he grew for her. It’ll be a long story, but something to read at night. ALL ON WATTPAD! Comment below, please!

———

“Stop gettin’ in your feelings, Bub. They ain’t gon stop,” Logan said, talking about the people looking their way in the expensive restaurant Logan decided to take y/n out at.

“But, isn’t it rude? Why do they care so much about who I’m with? Or who you’re with!?” Y/n tried whispering and keeping her facial expressions normal. She didn’t want them to know she was bothered, but it wasn’t hard to see.

“Just relax, Bub — Ain’t nun gon happen with a few eyes lookin’ attcha,” Logan had picked up the menu to continue searching through what he wanted to order for himself and his girl.

“Are you two ready, or shall you get more time?” The man asked in an accent that made Logan roll his eyes. “Just appetizers for now. Gonna get the cheese bites with a side of marinara sauce, and two Caesar salads,”

“And drinks?” The waiter asked as he looked at y/n, wanting to hear the young lady talk as he was done listening to the older grumpy man.

“I’ll have a whiskey, no ice, and she’ll have water for now,” Logan ordered for her, eyes still on the menu as y/n faked a bright smile on her face so at least one of them looked like they wanted to be here.

“Are you sure that’s all you want? We have a lot of cocktails. Even mocktails if you’re not feeling alcohol going lady,” Logan laughed at the small sign the water gave. They always go.

“She’s fine, trust me,” Logan said, leaning his girl from head to toe. He knew her like a book. He knew her life at the back of his hands. He loved showing it too.

“I’m fine, thank you,” y/n smiled at the man as he looked at Logan. He wanted to speak, say something, but he couldn’t. Logan wasn’t actually doing anything to make the man complain.

“Get a load of that guy,” y/n rolled her eyes as he walked off. “Yep,” Logan said, not really caring. “Why are you always so calm? He was disrespecting us. Disrespecting you,” y/n said, confused about why the man never cared.

“I’m still alive, aren’t I? You’re making it seem like that fetus of a man shot at me,” y/n rolled her eyes and sat back as she crossed her arms, upset at the lack of care Logan had. She felt like she was the only one who cared about things.

Throughout the night, Logan made small talk with y/n to ease her mood. She tried to stay upset at the man, but the hand grabs, foot nudges, and complements made her melt

“Said you had a surprise for me, Bub?” Logan asked as the two made it into the hotel that Logan bought for the night. The top floor had a good view, a view he knew y/n would love.

“Yeah, but I thought we were going back to the house,” y/n pouted, a bit tipsy as Logan carried her through the door. “I know, and I apologize, princess. If you left it at the house, you can give it to me tomorrow. Or I can go get it now?” Logan suggested.

“No, no, you don’t have to do all that. I-I got it. I got it,” Y/n said as she kicked her heels off and walked towards the bed with Logan.

He had a few drinks, but that never affected him. She prayed it would tonight so she wouldn’t have to work hard, but she’ll deal with it.

Y/n knows Logan’s a hard one to crack, but the man loved her. He’s so anything for her, so a long session of begging or anything of that sort, would make him crack. Only for her.

“Get comfortable — I’ll be back,” Y/n said as she stumbled to the bathroom. Logan chuckled as he got undressed, already knowing y/n wanted to have sex. She always does, and he never says no.

Y/n didn’t take long to get stripped and walk out of the bathroom slowly. The lights were dim, and Logan sat up against the headboard of the bed, legs spread and waiting for his perfect girl.

“I-I know you’re against it, and I know you always shut me down, but tonight is special. I-I really, really want you tonight,” Y/n said, slowly crawling on the bed as Logan’s chest rose.

“You always get me, Bub, so what’s there to beg about?” Logan said as he rubbed his thighs. “I want you to cum in me,” y/n looked at him with those eyes he could barely say no to.

“Y/n, don’t start tonight. Ian tryna ruin the night,” Logan has rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Baby, please,” y/n begged, trailing her hands up his legs until they were mid-thigh.

“Keep beggin’ for that shit, and ima turn around and go to sleep,” Logan warned the girl, but she ignored him and put his cock in her hand. “C’mon, daddy, please,” y/n said, bringing out the word she used in once in a blue moon.

“Nah uh, get off, y/n. I told you what was gonna happen-“ Before he could finish, y/n wrapped her wet mouth around his tip, sucking down hard as her tongue moved up and down his slit.

“F-Fuck,” Logan’s legs shook as he gripped the sheets. “Y/n, remove your fucking mouth,” Logan demanded, but she ignored him, looking into his angry dark eyes as she slipped down onto his cock, taking all the inches in that she could.

“Y-Y/n!” The man groaned loudly, hips bucking as his hand went to her hair, pulling her up to get her off, but not strong enough. He was physically stronger than her, so she knew if he wanted her off, he’d get her off.

“Fuckin- Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ bad,” Logan said as his other hand cupped her cheek. “But you take my cock so well,” Logan admitted with a chuckle as he slowly began moving her head at a pace he wanted her to suck in.

“Always so fuckin’ needy — Needy little slut can’t just enjoy my cock. Always needs my cum to satisfy her,” Logan said, now moving his hips, allowing his cock to thrust up into her throat.

“That’s it, kid — Fuckin’ suck me up since you want it so bad. You ain’t gettin’ it in that cunt. You ain’t earn it yet,” Logan said, watching spit spill from her mouth.

Y/n did her best to look up and into his eyes. Her was glossy, streaming tears as he grew dark. He couldn’t hold back his deep groan at the sight of her taking his cock like this.

“Don’t fuckin’ look at me like that,” Logan said, getting angry at her. He hated how bad she was, but loved that she’d do anything to get what she wanted from him.

“Fuckin’ brat,” Logan growled, snapping his hips faster to make her gag and cough on his cock. Maybe if she was too busy trying to focus on taking him, she’d stop silently begging for him to breed her.

It’s not like the man didn’t want to. He was just insecure. Yeah, he and y/n had been dating for a while, but the people roaming about are right. At least that’s what he thought at the time.

What if he is too old for her? He’d basically be baby-trapping her if he gave her what she wanted. He swore she’d regret it.

He forced himself to think that way, but every time y/n took his cock, rather that was with her mouth, cunt, ass, or anything, she’s beg him to breed her. Something in him knew she wanted it, but the other part held him back.

“Fuck, y/n, stop it! Stop fucking looking at me like that!” Logan shouted at the girl, an animalistic tone slipping out as he fucked her throat.

Y/n didn’t stop. She continued, whether her eyes could barely stay on him or not, she kept looking up at him, begging him to breed her.

“Y/n, I can’t — I fucking can’t,” the man had thrown his head back, whining as he felt himself near. He’s me we did that before, but him trying to yell her no but also seeing her beg, was too much for him. He was overstimulated by his thoughts.

Y/n slapped Logan’s hands off of him and quickly crawled onto him. She grabbed his cock and aligned herself with him before sitting down.

The moan that escaped her mouth made his eyes widen. “F-Fuck, kid, stop it!” Logan said, but his hands came to her waist and kept her in place. She tried to bounce, but he didn’t even allow her to do that.

Logan’s feel curled as his fingernails dug into her sides, causing her to feel in pain, but also pleasure. “Do it, daddy, please,” was all had to say on his cock before he jumped over the edge.

Logan’s mouth parted as his whole body stuttered. No noises came from his mouth for a second as y/n felt his warm seed coat her walls.

“Yes! Yes, daddy, yes!” Y/n cried out with happiness before she buried her face into the crook of his neck, sucking into his skin hard. That pulled all of his groans and moans out.

Logan’s hands wrapped around the girl's back and waist, pulling her into his body as she grinned against his pelvis, letting her swollen bud feel all the affection it needed.

“Please, more, Logan. Please. Please,” y/n continued rubbing against him as her whole body felt numb. She was going to cum, and Logan knew it. Damn her.

“Fuck, kid — F-Fuck,” Logan’s legs kicked as he tried keeping himself in, but he couldn’t. She squeezed him so hard for him not to do what she’d been begging for, for the longest.

“Y/n,” Logan’s voice cracked as his nails broke the skin on the young girl's back and waist. “Yes, yes!” Y/n almost cried as her body kicked up and she came, sucking the man too hard. To damn hard.

Logan’s mouth parted once again as his eyes crossed, feeling too much pleasure as he spilled into y/n for the second time and took the love bites y/n gave him on his neck.

Logan was pissed. He was so damn pissed at y/n for not listening to him. He wanted to punish her, but how? How could he after he bred her? He wouldn’t be able to pull out. And fuck a condom. He was fucked. He broke the promise he kept to himself. He really fucking loves her to let her do this to him.

“You’re so fuckin’ bad, y/n,” Logan breathed out into y/n’s ear, alarming her. He wasn’t relaxed. He was angry. “You like gettin’ what you want?” The man asked as he slowly lifted y/n off of him. She was being held in the air.

“Then ima give you what you fucking want,” before y/n knew what he meant, the man flipped the two, allowing him to hover over her.

“S-Sorry, I just- I really needed you. I-I love you so much, and I-I — I want you to give me a baby. I-If you don’t want it, I-I’ll just take the plan b tomorrow. I promise,” y/n couldn’t stop stuttering.

She felt a slight fear. She knew how Logan got, and now that he’d already come in her, he’d be worse.

“Fuck that plan b. You wanna baby? Then deal with the fucking consequences,” Logan turned y/n around and forced her onto her hands and knees. Before she could process anything, he plunged into her.

“Fuuck!” Y/n screamed at the new angle and the hard thrust. “Shut the fuck up, and take it,” the man groaned as a hand came down on her ass. “Take my fuckin’ kid, since you wasn’t em so damn bad,” he added.

Y/n cried into the sheets, thinking he couldn’t fuck her hard until his claws came out. He’d never done this before, but she knew what he was up to.

The man’s claws punched into the wall right in front of the two. He gripped tightly, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere before he pounded her into the mattress.

The young girl's neck and back belt pain. He was breaking her and didn’t care. She wanted this.

“Lot,” y/n whined, not being able to say what she had to say. She was beyond fucked. “Don’t worry, Bub — You’re gonna make a damn good mom,” Logan said, making sure she knew he was up for this.

Y/n slightly smiled as her cunt quivered, finally letting out another orgasm as her eyes closed. “S-So good,” she said as she slipped away. “I know, baby — I know,” the man growled.

Logan never stopped his thrust, making sure she’d feel the soreness when she woke up. And the loads he was going to leave in her.

255 notes · View notes

kaiser1ns · 3 days

Text

#. I'D RATHER BE LOST IN THE LIGHTS

featuring 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗸𝗮 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

fluff. he can't even recognize himself. he's feeling so alive lost in the lights.

recommended to listen to jimin's "like crazy"

For Takiishi Chika, there are two types of people besides himself, those who stand in his way and must be eliminated, and those who give him a way. He doesn't remember, doesn't know, and hasn't thought about whether he ever had an interest in any of these people, and he doesn't even know their names or how they even look. One always did what he wanted, bought him what he liked, and gave him absolutely everything to make him happy. The other was annoying, it was the first time he had thought such a thing about someone — a person, who made him feel enjoyment.

But there was one type of person that he couldn't define what it was or why it was like that. The way she treated him, the tone of her voice when she spoke, the little touches that happened when she passed by on the crowded streets. Why did he continue to see this human being every single day? She's saying, "Baby, come and follow me." Baby, my love, treasure, prince, darling, sunshine … my boyfriend. Since when did such names mean anything to him, since when did he begin to listen to the words of someone so insignificant? Why?

There's nothing wrong here tonight, on this starry night he goes after her, he'd rather be lost in the light, lost his mind. There's no reason why, and if there is it doesn't matter. He sinks alone into these unknown depths, his fire not extinguished even as he falls, it's going to be a good night. Where am I? A dark haze clouded his eyes, but it was so gentle, the fingers covering his sight, a touch he knew so well. Then he looks up just as her fingers move to hold his hands. It's high, but the view is nice from the rooftop. She's prettier. But why?

Emotions on ice, he is melting, let him have a taste, when she begs him with those striking and intense, often with a jewel-like depth, eyes of hers, it's as if she's saying everything she can't, because the eyes are a window to the human soul. All his reflections, he can't even recognize because he is feeling so alive, his desires are the same as hers. Why do you make me feel like this?

A loud noise, like shots that had just pierced his heart, like a catastrophe had occurred in his mind, like the fireworks in the sky. He is trying to take the pressure off, been reaching for the stars. When did I go too far? He reached out for the stars, but instead, he found a new galaxy, something unusual and unfamiliar. For the first time in his life, he experiences something called ... love. The girl who not only gave him what he wanted but stood in his way. This will break him, this is going to break him. He doesn't want to leave her orbit, he doesn't want to rise from these depths, he doesn't want the spark between them to die out. Tell me, will I find myself again?

How can he feel like that? Their lips are doing a gentle but smooth dance, but everything is so slow even though their hearts are beating like crazy. Closer and closer, he wants to be as close as possible to the person who made him feel and think.

“I think we could last forever,” she says and he is afraid that everything will disappear. “Forever you and I.” Being alone again. What's the point? This feeling doesn't even have a name as he tries to keep his whole being intact, to distract himself from emotions he can't deal with. Eventually, he has to face himself, he has to face her. You are so damn annoying… Why are you always like this? "I wish I could describe this feeling to you." But she knows, she just knows without him saying it because, in his own way, he conveyed what she already knew. “I love you, too.”

taglist :: @maruflix @heartkaji @17020 @stunie @nyxypoo @kazuhaiku @slerixx @kiurona @meidiary @mydream-synopsis

96 notes · View notes

xiakato · 2 days

Text

Through The Dance Of Fire And Rain: Solitude

This first part of this short series is mostly world building, smut will come later

The rain shatters on the cold cobblestone walkway, the dark clouds taking over the once beautiful blue. The sounds echo through the desolate, empty streets. The sorrowful cello and piano. The music from both beautiful melting into the rain. The rain doesn’t let up, neither do they. A girl, curious yet afraid, follows the sound. Drawn in, she finds her steps slowly, taking in the sorrowful tune, the darkness hidden beneath such sadness. Typically she stays inside, but something compelled her to exit her safe home, in such weather no less. The once bustling street, now empty, a shell of its splendor. The sorrowful tune leads her to the Cathedral, a place she has gone a handful of times. Yet this place is a mystery to her, The beautiful gothic architecture goes hand in hand with the sadness and darkness that echoes through the streets, the alleys. She pushes one of the heavy cathedral doors open, laying her eyes on them. Two beings, one holding a cello, the other playing the piano ever so gracefully. Almost ethereal, the rain hitting the windows in stark contrast of their all white clothing. She wants to stop and watch them from afar yet she keeps walking, entranced. The cello player lays his eyes on her as if he sees through her entire being. Her muddy shoes dirtying the pristine cathedral floors, her umbrella falling to her side, her damp hair sticking to her face. The beautiful sorrow that is unfolding in front of her eyes is too much, overwhelming.

The woman now takes a glance at her, unfettered in her pursuit of true pain. She has heard of these two, only appearing when the rain does, disappearing as quickly without a trace. A tear rolls down her cheek, she doesn’t notice as her mind floods with her past relationship with the town dock hand. He wasn’t the best but wasn’t the worst, he tried yet it wasn’t enough. He moved on quickly, she didn’t. She is still stuck on him like the mud to her shoes. She comes back to bearings wiping the tears away from her eyes. Focusing on the two ethereal like beings that are now only a few feet away from her. Both of them are staring at her as they continue to play, bringing sadness to this town. Their eyes are devoid of emotion, of life. The man slowly ends playing his cello.

“What brings you here young girl?” His voice is deep, commanding and soothing.

“I felt like I needed to come here,” Her voice is oddly confident, surprising even herself.

“Then,” He pauses looking over at the woman, she stops slowly as well, “You must need answers.”

“Answers? I don’t need answers to anything.”

“Answers to why you never got on with the dock hand, tragic. That boy is such a pure soul, heaven has high hopes for him.”

“What do you mean?” She asks, her eyes quivering yet not leaving the man.

“His soul is pure, chosen by heaven to ascend when his time has come, he will become one of us.”

“What are you…?”

“We are angels,” The woman talks now, her voice cold and distant. The young girl looks at the woman, stunned at her beauty despite the lifeless behind her beautiful emerald girl eyes. Looking back at the man, he has a smile, albeit very small.

“Then why didn’t it work?” She asks, eager to hear the reasoning behind it.

“He’s pure, you’re not. In fact the darkness in your soul is what led you here,” The man explains to her as he stands up, his height catching her off guard, “Don’t be afraid, the darkness that has been inside your soul this whole time is merely waiting till you are able to feel it.”

“What will happen when I do?”

“You’ll become like us, we are angels yes, but we are more and less than angels, We are the fallen.”

“The fallen…” She mutters as she looks between the two.

“Yes my dear, The Fallen, we are fallen angels, distracted and consumed by the darkness in our souls.”

“How can I not become like you?”

“Find them, find your fated lover. They will restore the purity in your soul.”

“Do you guys not find yours?”

“I did, I wasn’t his,” The woman stares at the window, her fingers itching to play the keys once again. The young girl looks at the man, waiting for his answer

“I killed her,” His eyes reflect a tinge of pain before going back to dull and lifeless, taking up his bow. He stares at the other fallen, “Wonyoung,” His voice soft, tender filled with unexplainable emotion. She smiles ever so slightly hearing her name fall from his lips.

“Y/n,” Her voice filled with the same unexplainable emotion, the young girl can only stand and watch as the beautiful sorrowful fills the senses once again. She watches on, they ignore her, her questions left unanswered, unasked. She turns away and walks back down the center, slowly taking in the tinge of heartbreak, despair. Pulling back up her umbrella, a note falls to her hand taking it and reading it aloud.

“The heart was meant to be broken,” She stands still taking in the note before tossing it aside, walking away quickly. She feels their gazes on her as she walks away.

Getting back home, she is greeted by her mother, “Oh Kazuha, I was just about to go looking for you,”

“Sorry I took a walk, enjoying the music, “ She explains, kicking off her shoes, and hanging her umbrella.

“I see, those two have always played such beautiful music, always filled with despair.”

“You’ve met them?” Zuha asks her mother, curious.

“Never but some of my friends have, the two of them have been around here since even before your great grandparents my dear.”

She could only nod, processing the age of the two in the cathedral. Why here? In that very cathedral? She needs more information, the thought of her own predicament fleeing from her mind, she searches through her family's library looking for anything about them, anything. The rain has yet to yield and yet have they. Their sorrow echoes still through the town, her mother sits by the window in the library in the rocking chair. Her eyes closed, her mind filled with the memories of her husband. Kazuha can’t find anything, “Mother?”

“Yes my dear?” Her mother opens her eyes looking at her only child, the love and affection that is only found in a mother is evident.

“Y/n and Wonyoung,” She says simply hoping that is enough.

“So you’ve learned their names,” Her mother smiles, looking back at the falling rain, dripping down the window pane, “You wish to know more don’t you?”

“Yes, mother.”

“Y/n and Wonyoung, They go back centuries, during the Otrian war. Y/n was rumored to be a general with a secret love from the enemy nation of Grador.”

“That war was with Grador,” Zuha says, “How does that work in the eyes of his comrades, his subordinates?”

“Never well, my daughter. The last battle, The battle for Zylourgos.”

“The day that both nations fell.”

“I’ve taught you well Zuha, that day everything changed. Grador’s armies have caught wind of Y/n’s lover. Captured her and brought her to use as a bargaining chip.”

The sounds of marching, armor clanging with each step, thousands of armored men stand close to one another, ready to strike, some scared, some steel their resolve. For Glory, For honorable death

“General Y/n, we come to make you a deal,” Grador’s general shouts, Y/n’s eyes widen as they drag her out, his hands crushing the stone they rested on, “We will spare your lover, Ning Yizhuo. To bring a end to this war, to end this mindless killing,”

“What is it that must be done,” Y/n says ignoring the remarks from his soldiers.

“Leave the city of Zylourgos, take all of your forces out of Grador and you may take her with you,” Grador’s General points at Yizhuo. Jumping down from the fortress walls, Y/n stands tall, his strength reverberates throughout the battlefield.

“Release her to me first and we shall leave,” Y/n demands, the general of Grador nods, releasing her. She runs as fast as she can.

“Y/n!” She calls out desperately, “ Don’t trust th-”

Y/n stares in horror as the spear rips through her chest, “Yizhuo!” he dashes, catching her in his arms, her blood coating his armor. His hand cupped her cheek, her eyes fluttering, catching one last glimpse of his face. As her hand touches his face one last time before her life leaves her, “No no no please Yizhuo, Please not like this. Please please please,” He rocks her in his arms, “Yizhuo please, don’t leave me like this.”

Y/n screams and screams, yet the screams of pain fall on deaf ears. The sound of iron against iron takes over. That was the day that both nations fell at the hands of one man.

“The sorrow from his cello makes sense now, but what of Wonyoung?”

“Wonyoung is a bit of an easier story to tell, Jang Wonyoung, The last Princess of Otria, The Divine Serpent.”

“Didn’t Y/n kill everyone in both nations?”

“Wonyoung was the exception. Her chosen one was Y/n,”

“How is that possible?”

“God doesn’t care for the likes of us Kazuha, questioning him will only lead us to ruin,” She smiles, “Y/n couldn’t bring himself to kill her which led her to become one of the fallen with him, The divine serpent and The divine dragon together forever in damnation.”

Kazuha sits there in silence looking at her mother watching the rain, enjoying the music.

“Solitude knows no bounds my daughter, Solitude can make you stronger, but it can also make you weaker. Find your chosen one my dear,” Her mother takes her a coin pouch, “There’s enough to get to the next few towns.”

“But-”

“Dont worry dear, I will still be here when you return and so will they,” Her mother gestures out of the window towards the cathedral, “In fact you may even run into them again in your travels.”

Kazuha sighs, going to her room she knows anything she says won’t matter. Packing everything she would need for her trip, everything she hopes she would need at least. She says goodbye to her mother who sits still in that library rocking chair by the window. She sets off in the rain, looking back at the cathedral, leaving with more questions than answers. Yet she is unable to get more, she knows they won’t answer her. She gets to the train station and waits, a book clenched between her fingers.

III

“Why didn’t you tell her Y/n?” Wonyoung’s voice gained some of the emotion it once had, her slender hands trailing up his neck to his face.

“Tell her what? That she doesn’t have a destined one?” He looks down at Wonyoung as she nods, “I couldn’t, I… just couldn’t bring myself to tell an innocent girl that she will become like us, beings devoid of emotion.”

“Not being able to tell her that is emotion Y/n,” Wonyoung lays her head on his chest, “We aren’t as emotionless as you think.”

“She doesn’t have a chosen one because of me Wonyoung, of my choices, my actions, my.. Destruction.”

“God has a plan for everyone Y/n, that was just his for you,” She sways in his arms as they use their powers to continue to play the music. The two dance through the rain, their pristine white clothes covered with darker than black ink, as they dance through their despair, through the streets, empty, devoid of laughter, love, of life. Kazuha’s mother smiles as they pass her house.

“Those two always enjoy themselves in some way,” She cracks a smile as she fades in golden rays of light, the two watching as the rays of light ascend to the heavens. God has reclaim one of his precious angels. The two continue dancing as the rays of gold continue to ascend around the town, the rain comes to an end. The two fallen disappear from the streets, the music stops. People flood the streets once again. The train finally comes, with Kazuha boarding and finding her seat, her heart feels heavy, burdened by something she feels like she missed. She ignores that feeling, as the train sets off from the station. Her stop isn’t far but far enough from home on foot that it is a two day ride on horseback. She watches through the train window, the clouds that once covered the ever expanding blue now retrating. She smiles softly as the train follows the hill side, silently saying goodbye to the place she grew up. Vowing that she will be back, better and happier. Still the music haunts her mind, she can’t get her mind off it. She slightly understands the pain of Y/n but she can’t come to even understand the pain of Wonyoung, her destiny was to be unable to let him go. Despite her not being his destined, his chosen one. She watched as he destroyed her nation and another because of another, yet she stands by him. Not allowing him to stand alone in his abyssal despair, haunted by the memory of holding his dying lover in his arms.

Wonyoung has devoted herself to him, and only him despite knowing he won’t love her the way she does him. Kazuha’s mind doesn’t wrap around it, and doesn't understand what love does to a person. Will she ever? She thinks to herself.

“Excuse me?” A voice knocks her out of her thoughts, she looks over to a rather good looking man standing before her, “Is that seat taken?”

“No, go ahead,” She gestures with a friendly smile, he smiles back sitting in front of her.

“So where are you headed?” He asks, getting comfy in the seat, “Anywhere exciting?”

“Unsure, I’ve never left my hometown, so I’ll go where the wind guides me.”

“Ooo a fresh new adventure! Ah, where are my manners? I’m Pulcinella,” He offers his hand to her, she shakes it and he leaves a kiss on her hand.

“I’m Kazuha,” She tells him, as that smile never leaves his face.

“So I’m guessing that your hometown is the one we just left,” She nods, confirming his suspicions, “tell me have you met them? The rumors around your town say there’s fallen?”

“No I haven’t,” She feels as if she shouldn’t tell this man she just met about them, she feels off by that smile never leaving his face.

“Ahh rats, I wish to actually meet the fallen once,” he chuckles as they feel back into normal conversation. He’s easy to talk to, he has a broad view on the world, soon he grabs his bags saying goodbye, he jumps out of the window and disappears before she even sees what happened to him.

May her journey be long and fruitful.

#kazuha #le sserafim #male reader #sadness #war #tw blood #wonyoung #ive

53 notes · View notes

sanarsi · 3 days

Text

Flying days and nights

ex-boyfriend!Dieter Bravo x f!Reader

Summary: You and Dieter broke up because of his addiction. Despite that, he's going to do anything to have you in his arms again. Warnings: pure angst (but with happy ending), reading offensive comments, self-hatred, mention of drugs, addiction, drunk!Dieter, toxic relationship, mention of suicide, emotional instability!reader, mention of rehab, sub!soft!Dieter Wordcount: 5,4k An: This is pure angst because I've been feeling like shit lately and I wanted to lash out :) Enjoy reading now or later when you're in the mood for some sadness xx Music I worked with: Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

Masterlist

Everyone already knew.

You and Dieter broke up.

It shouldn't have surprised you, because you knew who your ex-boyfriend was, and yet, you were shocked by how many things had appeared about you on the internet in such a short time. It had only been two weeks, how on earth had everyone found out about it?

Stupid question.

You knew the answer very well.

You were furious. At yourself, at him, at the whole fucking world that judged you even though it didn't understand. You had been through hell for the last few months of your relationship, and now you were going through another because you had become the villain in this whole story.

You didn't know why you were doing it.

Maybe to finish yourself off? Maybe so you could be even more furious at him.

But you were fully aware that you were sitting through another evening with wine, reading more nonsense about your relationship.

"I would never leave him."

Oh, you're sure they would not. His fans had an unhealthy obsession with him.

"Everyone knows that Dieter has been taking drugs for a long time, so she definitely knew what she was getting into."

Of course you knew, despite what the whole situation was about, that's how you two met. At one of the parties. He snorted coke off your stomach and then proposed to you to marry him. Romantic and that's what he was like from the start. Sweet, a little naive and so damn in love with you.

An unwanted smile spread across your lips at the memory.

"Stupid bitch. Instead of helping him, she chose to leave him. Have y’all seen recent pictures of him? He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks."

You saw it. How could you not?

He looked like a wreck.

Shame that people only saw it now and not a few months ago when it all started like you did. Everyone had a lot to say about how awful you were for not wanting to help him with his addiction. But how long can you beg someone to go to rehab only to get a contemptuous look and have them swallow a few more pills right in front of you?

Yeah, that's what you've been going through day in and day out for months.

But who would know that?

"Dieter, I would treat you better than her."

You snorted dryly and took another sip of wine.

"Of course you would," you said sarcastically under your breath and locked your phone before throwing it on the table. You felt so fucking empty, and your rage was the only thing that kept you from going crazy.

Life suddenly became too calm.

This whole toxic world had sucked you in too much for you to be able to snap out of it just like that. You felt downright uncomfortable, being in silence, alone with your thoughts. You were very aware of what you were going through in that relationship, and yet, you missed him.

It was stupid because you left on your own, you decided to leave him because you were sick of him, you were tired. No, tired is the wrong word, you were exhausted.

Constantly fighting with someone you love is the hardest fight and no one blamed you for having had enough of it. All your friends showed you support, understanding. Hell, even his mother said you were too good for him, that you deserved better.

So why, despite all the bad that was happening, there were only good moments in your memory? Moments that made you start to miss him.

His laughter, movie nights together, the next time you cried while playing ‘The Last of Us’.

That's why you felt like shit and deliberately beat yourself up by reading random comments. You wanted to be bad, you really did, but only because the old Dieter was still alive in your head. Your Dieter.

Your crazy Dieter, who could scream in the middle of the street how lucky he was to have you.

Your lovely Dieter, who took you to every gala and meeting, bragging that he had the most beautiful girl in the world.

Your sweet Dieter, who loved to cuddle you because ‘you are so soft’.

Your fucked up Dieter, who dressed up as Cupid for Halloween and shot you in the ass to spend the whole night in the hospital with you.

You hated him.

You hated him for what he had done to himself, for putting drugs above what you two had; and what you had was so fucking special. You hated him for loving him so fucking much. It hurt the most when you realized he didn't love you half as much as you loved him.

You cursed him and those damn drugs that had taken your sweet Dieter and replaced him with a vile son of a bitch who would call you the worst names while you flushed his stash of cocaine down the toilet.

You shivered at the bad memories and finished the rest of your wine. You didn't want to think about it anymore, your therapist told you to calm down for at least an hour before going to bed, and surprisingly, he was right.

You put down the glass the same moment your phone started ringing. You looked at the screen with a smiling photo of your ex and all your insides twisted painfully. Cold sweat poured over your body as you stared at the screen as if frozen. You didn't know what to expect.

Why would he call you?

He was probably stoned and barely conscious. It's possible that he even forgot that you broke up.

The flood of thoughts kept you from answering, which disappeared the moment when screen displayed a message about a missed call. You swallowed hard, finally noticing how fast your heart was pounding. Despite the alcohol in your blood, the feeling of panic only grew.

Even though your phone had long since gone black, you continued to stare at it. He hadn't spoken to you in two weeks, so why did he do it now?

Had he run out of drugs? Did he want to apologize? Did he want to call you names? Maybe he wanted to ask if you were back to your senses and wanted to come back to him? He would have welcomed you with open arms to his apartment, which was probably in ruins now. He was just doing drugs and you were cleaning. Since when were you gone? All that was left was him with his shit.

The screen lit up again with a new notification. You sharpened your gaze, reading the text of the message.

Dieter: Please, can we talk?

You stared at the jumble of words, unable to think about anything. He was sober, that much you could deduce from the fact that he didn't make a single mistake and used punctuation marks.

He wanted to talk and he was sober.

It sounded pretty impossible, so out of pure curiosity you decided to reply.

You: Still on drugs?

Three dots appeared in the corner so you patiently waited for his response.

Dieter: Baby…

Dieter: Just please, hear me out

An uncontrollable snort escaped your lips. Of course, what else could you expect?

You: Then we have nothing to talk about.

You angrily threw your phone on the table when it started ringing again and just went to take a shower.

When you went to bed, your phone already had a few missed calls and a dozen messages. You held back your curiosity and simply closed your eyes, wanting to fall asleep as quickly as possible. Forget about the fact that he wanted to contact you and wake up in the morning knowing that peace still reigns in your life.

Knowing your luck, you barely managed to drift off to dreamland and the persistent banging on the door, perfidiously brought you back to the real world.

With a loud growl, you looked at your watch and groaned agonizingly when you saw that it was well after midnight. Who in their right mind would decide to knock on your door at such an abnormal hour? You wanted to ignore it, telling yourself that it was probably a mistake, but the knocking did not stop and instead turned into an annoying tapping rhythm.

Barely able to see anything in the darkness, you headed towards the front door. You turned on the light in the hallway, wincing at the glaring brightness, and looked through the peephole in the door. The staircase was dark, yet the quiet knocking did not stop.

A feeling of anxiety went through your body, waking you up a bit from your sleep. You didn't want to spread unnecessary panic, but you immediately thought about calling one of your friends to come and check what was going on.

You would have done it if you hadn't been stopped by a quiet voice calling your name.

Without thinking too much, you opened the door and left the apartment. The first thing you did was look towards the floor, where you always found him. As usual, you were right, he was sitting against the wall with a misty gaze and a half-empty bottle of whiskey. You'd be lying if you said you were surprised at the state in which he came to you. Honestly, you were more surprised that he managed to come to you at all.

"Dieter, what the fuck?" you snapped, seeing the state he was in. Messy hair, dark circles under his eyes, slightly sunken cheeks and a wrinkled shirt with poorly buttoned buttons. Still, one of the better forms you'd seen him in recently.

His lost gaze fell on your angry face and for a moment he just looked at you as if he hadn't seen you in at least a few years. It was possible that two weeks on a constant high lasted that long for him.

“I called you,” he managed to choke out.

“Yeah, and I didn’t pick up.” Your sharp tone clearly upset him, so you sighed loudly, trying to control your nerves. “Dieter, what do you want?”

“I want to talk.”

“You’re drunk,” you announced, as if that would give him the answer to everything.

And it did.

“I know, but—”

“Come when you’re sober.”

You didn’t want to repeat this pointless dance again. There was no point in even trying to talk to him because he’d probably forget about everything within a few hours. You didn’t have the strength for that, especially in the middle of the night.

“Please, can I…” he began uncertainly, catching your attention. “Can I sleep here?” You immediately wanted to say no. You could have called a taxi, even waited for one of his friends to come pick him up, but then he added in a breaking voice, “I don’t want to be alone in that apartment again.”

You would be fooling yourself if you turned around then, closing the door in his face. You wouldn't be able to even sleep a wink, knowing that he was sitting by your door, drunk and with tears in eyes.

You were angry, you hated him and wanted to say many unpleasant things, but you were human, and he was important to you. And despite everything you went through, you felt sorry for him when you saw him in such a state, even though he brought it on himself.

You sighed loudly and rubbed your tired face, knowing that you were doing the wrong thing. "But first, go wash yourself," you barely said resignedly, and Dieter was already standing on his own. Gratitude lurked in his gaze as he smiled sadly at you.

Without a word, he pressed a bottle of alcohol into your hand and entered the apartment, immediately heading to the bathroom. You stood in the hallway for a moment, staring at the interior of your place, wondering what you were actually doing with your life.

Relationships like yours had no right to survive, at least not in the long run. You knew that, and yet you didn't want to face reality. You wanted everything to be like it used to be, when you were happy, in love. But what was the likelihood that your desires would come true whenever you wanted them to, he didn't.

Tightening your fingers around the bottle, you went back to your apartment and the first thing you did was pour the rest of the whiskey down the sink. You watched with satisfaction as the amber liquid disappeared down the drain while the shower water could be heard in the background.

The desire to sleep faded away with every minute you walked around the living room, preparing a blanket and a few pillows to make the sofa suitable for sleeping. You didn't even glance towards the bathroom as you walked past, heading to the bedroom.

You don't know what possessed you to leave the door ajar and only then lay down in bed, reaching for your phone. Since the situation was already what it was, you didn't see why you should hold back from reading his message.

Dieter: Baby, please

Dieter: I know you're mad at me, I don't blame you

Dieter: But it's been two weeks now

Dieter: I want to explain and apologize

Dieter: Can we, I don't know, meet up and talk?

Dieter: I don't expect anything from you, I just want to see you

Dieter: I really miss you.

With each message it was harder and harder to read. You had no idea if it was because of tiredness or what was happening now, but you were overcome with emotions that you didn't want to feel because they were the reason you were so damn exhausted lately.

The next messages were over two hours apart.

Dieter: Im so sorry

Dieter: For evrythin

Dieter: I know its all m fault

Dieter: I was horrible n I treated u even worse

Dieter: shouldnt be surprised that u left

Dieter: But goddamn I really miss u

Dieter: I am drunk n its so fuckin stupid but I even miss the fact that u would shout at me rn bout how irresponsible I am

Dieter: wish u were here.

Dieter: u probably sleepin by niw

Dieter: God

Dieter: I miss sleepin with u

Dieter: I hate bein alone in that fuckin bed

Dieter: Sheets still smells like u.

You felt your stomach tighten uncomfortably as you read each word. Unwanted tears welled up in your eyes so you quickly chased them away and only then did you notice the last message.

Dieter: I signed up for rehab. Im leavin on monday.

Your heart beat faster but you didn't know if it was because of the content of the message or because Dieter suddenly appeared in your doorway.

You looked in his direction not being able to tell if he was talking to you or not.

"You have everything in the living room," you said the most obvious thing that came to your mind.

You couldn't see him very well in the darkness but you knew that the silence between you was starting to drag on. You didn't want to hurry him or chase him away.

You actually didn't know what you wanted.

"I saw," he said quietly, uncertainly.

"So what do you want?" you asked more sharply than you intended but you weren't going to correct yourself, he should know that you were mad at him.

You are, or at least you were a moment ago, until you read that damn message. You wanted to believe it was true but it was more likely that it was drunken babble so you didn't get your hopes up.

"Can I sleep here?"

You frowned when the screen turned off by itself so you could see him better. He was wearing boxers and a t-shirt with some character from the game. Of course you didn't get rid of his stuff, you simply couldn't.

"I already said—"

"I mean here, with you."

You fell silent for a moment.

Did he really have the nerve to show up at your door in the middle of the night, ask to stay and now force himself into your bed? Of course he did, it was Dieter.

“No,” you answered seriously.

“Please.” He didn’t give up and despite your words, he entered, closing the door behind him.

You tensed as you watched him slowly approach the bed. “I said no, now get out.”

“You know I hate sleeping alone.”

“Sounds like not my problem.”

Your sharp tone didn't stop him from lifting the sheet and sliding in next to you. The bastard had known you too long not to know that beneath that mask of rage was just a little girl. A little girl that he had hurt and wanted to make amends.

“Dieter…” you said warningly.

“Please, just for today.” You clenched your jaw tighter, trying to stop yourself from telling him what a selfish asshole he was. You were too tired to start an argument that would lead to nothing good. “I won’t touch you.”

“You better not.”

With those words, you simply turned your back to him and pulled the sheet closer over you, as if it would protect you from feeling his presence. Despite the raging and conflicting emotions inside you, you forced yourself to close your eyes. Your attitude made it clear to him not to talk anymore and to just go to sleep. And you were honestly grateful that he was holding on to the other half of the bed.

But despite the minutes maybe even hours passing by, you realized how much his messages were bothering you.

What if they weren't just drunk words or an attempt to extort attention. What if he really decided to start treatment?

You couldn't believe it.

Because how on earth did you not manage to talk him into it, but breaking up with him did the trick? After the way he treated you, you were supposed to believe that he suddenly missed you? That he wanted you back? Bullshit.

„I’m sorry.” His quiet words pierced the space between you.

You listened but didn't intend to speak. Still, he knew you weren't sleeping, if you were, you'd probably be cuddling up to him by now. It was in your nature to like to cuddle up to his side, wrapping leg around his waist and hide face in the crook of his neck.

So you could deceive yourself but not him.

"I fucked up," he continued despite your silence. "I don't know how to explain myself because I don't know what was on my mind at the time. I just wanted more and more."

Sadness settled in your heart.

So much bad had happened and in return you got such damn poor words.

"And suddenly I woke up in the middle of the night all alone."

You didn't want to hear it.

You didn't want his words to have any effect on you, but you couldn't stop pinching your nose from holding back tears.

"At first I wondered where were you. Maybe if it’s me who forgot that you went to some friend, or maybe you were sitting in the living room late reading another romance." You almost let a small smile creep onto your lips. "And only after a moment did I realize that two days earlier you left the apartment saying that you wouldn't witness my suicide."

Just thinking about that day, something inside you broke again.

You had shed way too many tears that night.

"I didn't realize the meaning of your words at the time. But then it hit me. Hard."

Well, it was good that he understood at all what you were talking about considering the state he was in at the time.

"You had been fighting with me for months. You were with me despite the state I could sometimes get myself into, how I could treat you even though you only wanted to help me. And for that I want to apologize and thank you. If it weren't for you, I would wake up in my own vomit every other day."

These were the things you tried to forget about. Life with him had turned into a living hell.

Looking at it from where you were, you wondered how on earth you had managed to survive so many months living like a private nurse.

Sometimes you wonder if it was still love or a desperate attempt to save someone you once loved.

"I haven't been able to take anything since then." Those words surprised you enough to make you shiver uncomfortably.

He hadn't taken anything in almost two weeks? It was hard to believe after the state he was in when he visited you today.

And as if he was reading your mind, he continued, "I decided to clean up the mess I made before I could even try to look you in the eye. And—" his voice broke. You resisted the urge to comfort him. “And it took me longer than I thought.” You heard him swallow hard, trying to control the tremor in his voice.

You didn't even want to remember affairs that you took care of for him during his drug streak.

From an ordinary girl you became an actor's girlfriend, his lover, best friend, then manager and then executioner and nurse.

Life had a way of surprising, but you never thought it would be to such an extent that you wouldn't recognize your reflection in the mirror.

"And today I finally got to see you, but you didn't want to," he said sadly. You barely held back a snort. "I'm not surprised, but I still hoped you'd at least want to hear my apology."

Maybe you wanted that, but not when you were still a mess and wanted to see him on his knees, begging for forgiveness. You didn't want to talk to him while still under the power of negative emotions.

You were a fan of resolving issues through calm conversation. And you were doing just fine until you met him and your arguments could be heard by your neighbors a few floors down.

"I took it a little hard," he admitted, embarrassed. "Being sober and under constant stress, and without you, was fuckin’ hard."

You could hear in his tone how tired he was of it all. But for him it had only been two weeks. For you? A little longer.

You felt sorry for him, you really did. But you also felt sorry for yourself.

You put him first for so long that you forgot that you are also a human being, that you have feelings and needs, that you also have the right not to be strong.

"And after everything, you didn't even want to talk to me. It's just," he sighed heavily, "it kind of killed me. So I'm sincerely sorry for showing up at your door in the middle of the night, but I couldn't stand being alone in that apartment."

Well, the only silver lining, if you could call it that, is that the last two weeks haven't just been tough for you.

You had been together for so long that suddenly being alone felt strange, alien.

And maybe it shouldn't, but you took comfort in the fact that he missed your presence too. As stupid as that might sound after what had happened.

The silence on his part began to drag on and you didn't know if he was thinking about his next words or waiting for any reaction from you.

His heavy sigh convinced you that he was waiting for your words that never came.

"I don't know if I've ruined everything to the point where my words mean nothing to you and you'd love to throw me out the door, but I want you to know that I'm truly sorry for what I've allowed myself to become. That it was more important for me to snort coke right after waking up than to tell you that I love you while eatin’ you."

At those words, something dangerously boiled in your lower abdomen.

You didn't want his words to have that effect on you, but your body knew better, feeling the hunger for his touch.

You couldn't kill the feeling of longing that grew with every word he spoke.

You were weak.

For him.

Because of him.

You didn't know the difference.

“And even if it doesn’t change anything, I wanted you to know that I’ve checked myself into a three-month rehab.”

You stared blankly into the dark space, trying to catch the slightest sign of whether or not he was lying. Surprisingly, he sounded serious, even a little scared at the thought of what he was talking about.

Another prolonged silence almost convinced you to answer him. Almost.

"And I’ll understand if you say no, but I would like to know if maybe you want to visit me sometime," he said hopefully. The feeling of sadness only grew in your chest. "The resort is in Switzerland, that's why—"

"Where?!" You opened your eyes wide and sat up in surprise, turning towards him.

Dieter was slightly shocked that you decided to speak, so for the first few seconds he just looked at you with his mouth parted.

"In S-Switzerland," he repeated uncertainly.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I have to fly to Switzerland several times a month just to talk to you for like… probably half an hour? Do you know how much it will cost?” You frowned, hoping that this was some kind of bad joke.

This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure what he was expecting. Seeing your face, he realized that he had probably assessed the situation a bit too optimistically.

“But we’re rich. I don’t see—”

“You are rich, Dieter,” you corrected him sharply, “not me.”

Your words hit him harder than either of you could have anticipated.

He blinked a few times, staring at you as if he was seeing you for the first time in his life. He didn't want to admit it, but he didn't expect things between you to be in such a bad shape.

"Baby, I know things aren't great between us," he began, also sitting down. Slowly as if the slightest overly aggressive movement could scare you away. “But nothing has changed on my end. I love you and I want to fix everything,” he said confidently. “Or at least have a chance to fix it.”

“I fucking hate you, did you know that?” you said with audible sadness that made him look down.

Now that he was sober and could see what he had gotten you into, the guilt was eating him up inside. He hated it when you were mad at him, and even more so when you looked at him with such hurt eyes. It made him feel like the worst bastard in the world.

“I figured it out when you left me,” he whispered.

The sadness in your chest turned to sorrow as it became harder to hold back the tears with each passing second.

You weren't ready for this conversation, but would you ever be? Was it even possible to be prepared for something like this?

“I know it’s fuckin’ selfish of me,” he began, sighing heavily as he gathered enough courage to look you in the eye. “But I want to know if you’ll at least wait for me.”

He was serious, you could see it in his eyes. He really wanted you to stay with him.

He had the courage to ask you to stay with him, to wait.

You stared at him without a word, but this time he patiently waited for your answer. He was sure that he would succeed. He wanted to get better, for you, for himself. He was determined to get back the life he had. Because he was damn lucky to have you in his life and he only realized it when he woke up without you cuddled to his chest. He woke up way too late but he couldn't turn back time, he could only fix the present and take care of the future.

He wanted so bad for you to give him a second chance and you wanted to give him one. You weren't able to cross him out of your life. He was one of the most important people in your life. There was even a moment when you realized that you wanted to spend the rest of it with him. But things got fucked up quickly.

The worst part of it all was that even if something like this happened again, you would be willing to forgive him. And you were afraid that it could be your undoing.

“Of course I'll wait for you,” you said, losing all strength to fight.

Dieter looked at you for a moment as if he couldn't believe that such words could come out of your mouth. He looked as if he was speechless and unable to process the information correctly and if it weren't for the context of the situation, you would have laughed. Instead, to convince him of your words, you smiled crookedly and shrugged. It was as if it woke him up from hypnosis, he blinked a few times and snorted in disbelief.

“Really?” he asked hopefully.

You shrugged again and let a soft smile permanently grace your face. Thanks to him, you realized that love could be pretty messed up.

“Well, a few years ago, I was shot by cupid and I think his magic is still working,�� you said seriously, and his face was priceless when he realized what you were talking about.

“Well…” he started to say but instead burst out laughing. “Yeah,” he nodded, shaking his head in amusement. Just a silly sentence was enough to make his eyes sparkle again, something you hadn’t seen in a long time. “I missed you.” He smiled shyly and you knew he was still testing the waters.

"I know."

"Don't say it back, huh?" he asked with a smirk, even though he knew the answer and wasn't going to force you to do anything.

"You didn't deserve it."

Despite this, your gaze was still full of warmth, but he knew that to get back what you had, he would have to try really hard.

"Fair enough," he nodded, not wanting to argue because he knew it was true. He didn't even know how he deserved you. “Can we cuddle now?”

You had to admit you wondered how long it would be before he asked that question. The little boy inside him was just waiting for you to give him a sign that he could touch you, so when you barely reached out your hand towards him, he pulled you to him in a second.

You moaned as your lips crashed painfully together. You couldn't fight his longing kisses because, damn, you missed it yourself. You placed your hands on his cheeks and allowed yourself to slow down a bit. He didn’t object, he never did. He just luxuriated in your soft lips and delicate tongue, and it wasn't until he could melt under your touch that he realized how much he missed you.

“Don't ever do this to me again,” you whispered against his lips.

“I won’t,” he gasped, stroking your back. “I promise.”

Tags some babes who might enjoy @bbyanarchist @axshadows @lover-of-books-and-tea @jhiddles03 @tobethlehem

#dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x y/n #dieter bravo angst #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal angst #sanarsi fic

52 notes · View notes

theoneprecioustome · 2 days

Text

Aikoto Moments Masterlist: Episode Aigis

This list will focus on the remake. To see how it fares in comparison to the original, check this post.

Notes:

Since Makoto isn’t actually in the game, most of the list will focus on Aigis' side of their bond as well as the little things that connect them.

There will also be third party quotes about Aigis’ bond with Makoto.

I bolded the most important moments.

The post is image heavy & contains spoilers for the entire game.

When that person died, there was nothing she could do to bear the pain. The machine girl found herself thinking that she had no use for a heart that did nothing but let her feel pain. And thus, the girl's heart became a blue butterfly, which took flight, and the pain in her chest disappeared. However, in its stead, there was now a large, gaping, empty hole in her chest. The emptiness in her chest didn't hurt, but it also did not let her feel anything. She wasn't alive anymore. Nothing but an empty shell, devoid of emotions, cursed to stand still in time where she was forever with no place to move forward to. — Episode Aigis Epilogue, Persona 3 Official Fanbook. Translation by Nenilein.

PROMOS

✤ The Key Visual of Episode Aigis features Aikoto. What's more, it reveals that Makoto in the original P3R art was meant to be looking at Aigis all along, like two halves of a whole.

✤ Soejima released an illustration to celebrate Episode Aigis. The illustration features Aikoto & Metis.

✤ The First Edition of the Episode Aigis soundtrack comes with a double-sided Aikoto box featuring the Key Visual and their AOA attacks. This is what Lotus Juice had to say about it:

"In the cover, you see P3HERO and Aigis looking at each other... if you open it, they'll be separated... like they're almost within reach of each other, but aren't. I wonder if that feeling gets across to fans as well? It's very beautifully done."

✤ SEGA Korea welcomed September with an Aikoto Calendar featuring the Episode Aigis Key Art.

✤ HINEMOS released two more Aikoto Sake bottles to commemorate the release of Episode Aigis.

OPENING

youtube

✤ Episode Aigis features an exclusive opening & song focused on Aigis' feelings after Makoto's loss. Full lyrics here and Analysis in the post linked above!

(Lost without you) But little things like the scent of his cologne Is a painful remindеr that he’s gone It feels like my heart is suffocating How do you make amends when you’re gone from me? Even though with a win, how come I feel so lost? Nothing makes sense to me I’m so numb, so lost without you

BATTLE SONG

✤ The new Battle Song, Don't, is also from Aigis' POV. While it focuses on Aigis' feelings through her conflict with SEES, it also has references to her feelings towards Makoto. Full lyrics here!

Already lost my keys to the door wide shut Only had one wish now it’s never gonna come true Trapped in time Forever in remorse How could I ever be in peace when nothing else matters to me?

MENU & UI

✤ In the menu, Aigis is shown holding a blue butterfly who flies away from her. According to the old devs, blue butterflies are used to symbolize Aigis' heart, which is the perfect imagery for Episode Aigis. Curiously, blue butterflies also often used in relation to Makoto, which carries very meaningful implications they're soulmates your honor.

✤ P3R's UI is meant to represent "the Protagonist's Sea of Souls", and it reflects their psychological state. True to form, Aigis is shown looking sad and lonely in hers, which is how she has felt since she lost Makoto. In the Equipment menu, we can even see her reach out before sadly retreating into herself, as if she were trying to catch someone who is now long gone.

PROLOGUE

✤ During the anime cutscene, we see a new rendition of Makoto's and Aigis' last moments together.

MARCH 31ST

✤ Aigis is the one who kept Makoto's Evoker after his passing.

✤ Aigis says that the one thing she feels certain of is that Makoto wouldn't have blame any of them for what happened, showing how well she understands him.

✤ Junpei comments that he’s glad Aigis has been “hanging in there” (spoiler: she isn't) because "It really seemed like you cared about him more than anything in the world."

✤ Aigis reveals that she remembers her last moment with Makoto whenever she closes her eyes. Depressed, she kept having the same dream over and over again: running after him, calling his name but never being able to catch up.

✤ She also recalls the promise she made him during the rooftop scene: "I promised to protect him, and I made that my reason for living. But now... that promise can never be fulfilled."

✤ Aigis says that one day, her sadness "mysteriously" left her. She stopped dreaming and requiring sleep. Unbeknownst to her, this is the event that draws The Abyss of Time to the dorms.

✤ When Aigis is scared of losing more precious people, she sees Makoto walking away from her and desperately tries to reach out to him. Then, Athena metamorphoses into Orpheus. It's interesting to notice that the effect used when Makoto disappears is the same effect used when Orpheus appears.

✤ Aigis and Makoto have the exact same Velvet Room and Aigis can even access his entire Compendium. In other words, they must share the same space “between dream and reality, mind and matter.”

✤ Elizabeth also explains that a Persona "represents one's heart and soul." Aigis can use Makoto's as if they were her own. Let that sink in!

✤ When Aigis thinks that reaching the Answer to Life may lead to her death, she is surprised to "discover how little the possibility bothered me." With Makoto gone, Aigis has lost her reason to live. It's to the point that when Aigis believes that she may die if she loses her key, she says: "If I did, then that would be fine..."

✤ During one of the activities with Metis, she comments on how fulfilled she feels whenever Aigis trusts her with something. If the player lets Aigis say "I think I understand", Metis will say: "Then you must have someone in your life who's just as important to you as you are to me." Which is quite big, because Aigis is literally Metis' everything lol

✤ Aigis getting Makoto’s power means she "inherited" something from him.”

✤ Aigis says early in the game that normally, people have a reason to awaken to their Persona, but that for her it was backwards. She had a persona and then she gained a reason (protecting Makoto). Later, we discover that the reason for her awakening to the Wild Card was that with Makoto gone, she has lost her purpose and her reason to live.

✤ The door that lies in the deepest part of The Abyss of Time leads to Aigis’ past and the moment she awoke to the "Persona abilities" Makoto had. In here we see Aigis' dream, the one where she runs after Makoto, trying to reach him in vain. We also find out that she was in so much pain and so lost after his passing that she wished she could go back to being just a machine again.

It was so painful losing him... I couldn't bring myself to do anything, so... I just hid in my room. For a while, I did nothing but chase after him in my dreams...

✤ Aigis' trophy is called "The one who dreamt", after her dream of Makoto.

✤ After the fight with Shadow!Makoto, he disintegrates into blue butterflies as Aigis desperately reaches out for him.

✤ Aigis can't decide whether she wants to go back to the past, or respect Makoto's sacrifice and remain in the present. Irritated by Aigis' predicament, Yukari accuses her of running away from her own feelings for Makoto.

✤ Metis explains that she would do anything to protect Aigis, because she is "all she has". This prompts Aigis to say that she, too, once felt the same way about someone.

✤ Aigis being willing to lay down her life to not have to fight her friends makes Metis break down. She echoes all of Aigis' buried feelings at Makoto's sacrifice. "Why do you have to die? Why does it have to be you...? Why can't it... be me instead? Please don't leave me behind... I'll give my life for the key, too! And if that doesn't work... then I'm coming with you! So we can always be together... Please, don't leave me all alone!" 😭

✤ Aigis realizes that she has been running away from her own feelings. Before going back to the past, she needs to know why Makoto did what he did—because she won't give up on what's important to her.

✤ After that fight, Aigis finally acknowledges that she wants Makoto back, too, and explains that she needs to know exactly what he did before she can make a choice. Despite her own feelings, Makoto's come first to her 😭

✤ Aigis screams "No!" as Erebus aims for Makoto. We also get two new shots of Aikoto's last moments together, showing Makoto smiling peacefully on Aigis' lap.

✤ After the final fight, Yukari acknowledges her jealousy over Aigis inhering Makoto's power and says that just like Makoto, Aigis is the one who knows how to move forward.

✤ Aigis reaches the very same Answer to Life that Makoto did: Friendship and Bonds are what give people life.

✤ Metis tells Aigis that there's still a way for Aigis to keep her promise to protect Makoto, and that is by fostering connections with others, so that they may one day reach the same answer they did.

✤ Metis is revealed to be Aigis' Shadow: the manifestation of the heart Aigis wished away after losing Makoto.

✤ Once Aigis regains her heart, she breaks down crying at last, finally processing her grief at losing Makoto.

✤ Before she fully fades away, we hear Metis' voice talking to Aigis and telling her how she can reach Makoto so he won't have to carry on alone anymore.

ENDING

✤ Aigis goes back to the rooftop for the final cut-scene. Just like that last day she spent with him, there are cherry blossom petals blowing in the wind.

✤ The credit song, Brand New Days, is once again from Aigis' POV. It focuses on her feelings towards SEES and Makoto as she walks forward into a new tomorrow.

There are days when I tire of calling out the meaning of my life, and my head droops But still, in my heart (So look up to you) Is your smile

✤ During the credits, we see Aigis looking back over her shoulder as she walks through the Moonlight Bridge (the place that started it all for her and Makoto). Lastly, cherry blossoms once again welcome her when she reaches the school. Considering their meaning (Don't forget about me), I'd like to think they're yet another reference to the fact that Aigis will go on living—forever carrying her memories of him.

✤ The Clear Data Save features Aigis' portrait over a cherry blossom background. If you beat the game on Heartless, a cherry-blossom-colored butterfly is added and placed over Aigis' heart.

EXTRAS

✤ In Orpheus' myth, he descends to the underworld in search of his dead wife, Eurydice, but ultimately fails and finds his own death. Knowing this makes Aigis having Orpheus as her main Persona even more meaningful. Not only is Orpheus' Makoto's Persona—so it's like he's left a piece of himself with her, his own version of I'll Never Leave You—it also represents Aigis' plight during Episode Aigis: either moving forward or going back to the past in search of Makoto. Unlike Orpheus, Aigis is eventually able to move forward carrying her memories of her beloved with her.

✤ Aigis' Compendium is signaled by a bookmark with a red butterfly, while Makoto's is the same bookmark but with a blue butterfly.

✤ Two dictionary entries evoke Aikoto. The first is That Day, which mentions it's "the last day Aigis ever spoke to him." The second is Aigis' Past.

✤ One of Elizabeth dialogues is "Do you posses the power to overcome any adversity as well? Just as he did...?" Another of her dialogues foreshadows Elizabeth wanting to ask Aigis to help her free Makoto's soul from the seal ("When the time comes, I may ask you to..."), just like in Persona 4 Arena.

✤ When Fuuka learns that Aigis may die if her key is taken, Aigis explains that she didn't want SEES to worry over her, too, when they're all "doing what they feel is best... for him..."

✤ Just like in The Answer, Yukari spends the game jealous of Aigis because she heard Makoto's last words and inherited his power—although this time she luckily handles it a lot better. This leads Mitsuru to explain that Yukari doesn't mean Aigis any malice; as she does so, she acknowledges Aigis' feelings and says that Makoto did no mean any less to Aigis than he did to Yukari. Later, Yukari herself ends up acknowledging Aigis' feelings and suffering over Makoto, strengthening their friendship.

✤ It's revealed that both Mitsuru and Yukari made promises to Makoto, or rather, to themselves after Makoto's passing. This bears mentioning because Aigis' promise to Makoto is never described in such terms in the game. At the contrary, in the original game, Yukari even goes as far as comparing them to say that unlike Aigis' promise to Makoto (あなたと違う), hers was one-sided (一方的に), highlighting that Makoto was there to acknowledge Aigis'.

✤ Metis tells Aigis that "The souls of all living things are connected through a plane similar to a sea." The Seal of Souls is likely where Makoto & Aigis are shown together in the opening, and the storyboards even describe it as an "unexpected reunion" 😭

✤ Mitsuru decides to give everyone their Evokers back, so it’s fair to assume Aigis still has Makoto’s.

✤ The Persona 3 Official Fanbook holds a short story about Aigis and Metis (I included an excerpt of it at the top of this post). While it's not material that came out with this version of Episode Aigis, it's still as relevant (and touching) as ever, so I really recommend reading it.

#aikoto #makoto yuki #aigis #episode aigis #moments masterlist #games #dooooooone!#I don't have the script yet so I just worked with what I got in the game #if I missed anything please don't hesitate to let me know #burn my queue

25 notes · View notes

ringsreforged · 20 hours

Text

Season 2, Episode 6 - Nat's Rambles

Okay – SO – Paulina is still on holiday, and I’m obviously DYING OVER HERE (Natalie, in case you hadn’t guessed) so TUMBLR. I HAVE RETURNED.

Truly though, I don’t think I’ve done this since S4 of The 100 which probably aired 100 years ago at this point…what has this show done to me…

ANYWAY. My immediate thoughts on Season 2, Episode 6: WHERE IS HE???????

Paulina Voice: All opinions herein have nothing to do with me, so only judge Natalie for them.

Important Note: I have only watched once, in a haze of stress and emotion, so I reserve the right to delete all of this later if I change my mind on any of it.

Arondir – Hello! Nice to see you! Glad you’re joining us for the battle!

I did like the detail of confirming that not all the orcs are on board with Adar’s war, but I was mostly laughing that ‘running through the trees’ is how the show has reminded us a character exists for two weeks in a row.

Rhun – I think this was the first episode where I was like GO AWAY, RHUN, NOT NOW. Though, I want to stress that I am super excited to see the conclusion of this, probably in episode 8. The Dark Wizard, the Gaudrim, the fate of the Stoors (honestly, I’m assuming they’re all going to be massacred tbh…which…the optics…but we’ll worry about that later…). In today’s episode, it just felt a bit like ‘hey, these characters still exist.’

I did love the little snippet of Tom and the Stranger, though I felt like it could have just been included in their previous scenes. He is 1000% Gandalf, and I stand by my opinion that this isn’t supposed to be a twist or a surprise. It’s just the narrative telling the story. Destiny or friend is super intriguing to me. It’s very Luke and Yoda from Empire, but I do wonder if his destiny IS to choose his friend…and in so doing, THAT is how he finds his staff…

Nori talking with the Gund was very sweet, and her willingness to give herself up to protect everyone was super in character. Poppy and Merimac were cute (I pray to all the gods that THIS was the kiss Morfydd teased but I doubt it very much…), and Poppy wanting to fight for the Stranger made me pretty emotional. However, I have some bad news…

Guys…I think I’m adding Poppy to DEATH WATCH. And I HATE IT. BUT I CAN’T UNTHINK IT.

Moving on…

Numenor – This continues to be the choppiest of storylines this season, but I do think the broad elements are super on point. And, actually, where we end up makes the Eagle sequence make more sense in retrospect. Pharazon didn’t have things locked down, Miriel is very much still a player on the board, and Mr. Eyebrows is THE BIGGEST HYPOCRIT.

Then again, if you told me I’d see Halbrand in the Palantir I’d probably touch it too…

Ahem. Loved that detail by the way! Part of the reason I felt like Halbrand would be his Numenor form was the small scene he shared with Pharazon back in S1, while Galadriel was taking out the guards. A connection was formed then – perhaps his eyes even bored a hole – and if Halbrand rocks up as an enemy of the elves, that’ll only make him more appealing.

Everything with Miriel and Elendil was absolutely stunning. He was willing to give his life for her, she was willing to give hers for his. WHAT ABOUT MY HEART. Honestly, from the way Owen and Cynthia talked about this season, I felt like they weren’t going to get anything at all romance coded. But I’m just starting to think people in TV only see active kissing as romance, because HELLO?? THAT’S THE SCRIPT????? THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ROMANCE????

I’m very excited to watch the sequence with the sea worm again, and to really let it wash over me (heh), because I was starting to get time anxious at that point in the episode (my brain starts panicking ‘don’t end, don’t end.’ Honestly, my brain SUCKS). But it was incredible, the implications were wonderful, Elendil’s relief was beautiful, and so was Pharazon’s rage. Also, the whole sequence was UTTERLY STUNNING, WOW.

Note for the show overall, or maybe just for myself, though – PLEASE stop spoiling so much of the season through promotional material. My biggest gripe with this episode is that I felt like I’d already seen/put together 90% of it.

Anyway, I’ve left Earien until last because this was a MUCH better episode for her (though, not letting her have any reaction to Valandil’s death was CRIMINAL). To the point that I’m now reforging (heh) my thoughts on last week – who directed her to have such bratty energy last week? Weird.

Anyway, we saw much more of her conflict and fluidity in this episode. She isn’t Faithful, she believes the new order is the way to go, but she’s also struggling massively with it. Her desperate hug with her father broke my heart, I had instant tears in my eyes, but then I also cheered when she brought Miriel in! What a great surprise that was! I’m REALLY interested to see where she goes from here…I’m assuming in the finale? I was sure she was locked onto a super dark path, but she witnessed Miriel survive the Valar’s judgement…will that sway her back around?

I’m going to finish this section with something that’s maybe a bit controversial…Elendil sucks as Earien’s father!!! Now, I’m willing to put this on pacing/editing issues, because I don’t think the show really wants us to feel this way. But good god, man. HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. I really enjoyed their cell scene, but sweet lord baby jesus, these two needed a deep conversation in episode 3. Watching him turn to go when Miriel walked in, and just forget Earien was even there hurt me man…even though I enjoy the Miriel aspect VERY much…

Like, I know you’re mad at her, but you’re all she’s got left…and your pride might mean she watches you die…can you be a little kinder to her???

Dwarves being dwarves, AKA perfect – Flawless. No notes.

The initial sequence with the Durin’s and Annatar was PERFECT. Annatar being rejected (that Balrog glimpse was SO EVIL), and Baby Durin’s flicker of hope. But then the reveal that Daddy Durin is deep in the shit because he’s really just being greedy. My gooooodnesssssss. The show has done SUCH A GOOD JOB setting this up, because we know Daddy Durin isn’t this way! We feel Baby Durin’s pain!

Then Daddy Durin has his IT’S MINE moment with the ring and swats his son away. Anguish. And the anguish only anguished harder when we cut to Durin and Disa. Disa talking about her love for her father-in-law, and her own father, and then DURIN’S TEARS. UGH. UGH. UGH. I was weeping, honestly.

I feel like Durin being suss of the rings this early on is a pretty big change (don’t quote me on this) but I’m for it. Watching Disa turn back Narvi and the others (poor Narvi) was beautiful and then that I LOVE YOU. UGH. UGH. UGH. PERFECT, I SAY.

I doubt Disa has anymore bats to summon, though, so IDK how the heck they stop what’s coming next. Is Durin going to get drawn away by his desire to help Elrond, leaving Disa alone and vulnerable?

I REFUSE TO PUT DISA ON DEATH WATCH, SHOW. I REFUSE. DON’T YOU DARE.

Adar and Galadriel – I wish we’d gotten more, especially because they released a clip yesterday that I obviously couldn’t resist watching, but what we got was JUICY.

I felt that Adar knew Halbrand was Sauron back in the premiere, or at least suspected it. Getting that confirmation paints their scene with the talk of the wine, the tears, and the kneeling in such a different light. TASTY.

I’ve seen people question this, because why did Adar not try and kill him there and then? To my mind, that’s pretty straightforward. He killed him once and it didn’t stick. And last time he had the element of surprise. He knows that Sauron is powerful enough to get out of his chains/to not get caught by orcs, which means he’s here for a reason. If Adar tries to kill him, best case scenario Sauron is off the board for another few centuries, but he’ll likely take down some orcs with him on the way out. And for what? For him to just come back again?

I think Adar decided to play the long game. I think talk of Eregion and Galadriel let him know that something more was going on, and he was biding his time to act.

So, Sauron promised Adar children. Honestly, the Adar/Sauron/Galadriel dynamic that played across this episode was the stuff of my dreams. Adar is holding his own relationship with the fella up against hers, and there’s so much subtext for both dynamics. Was there romance between both? Was it solely manipulation for both? Is Adar what Galadriel might become if she succumbs?

Galadriel definitely wasn’t being entirely truthful with Adar when she mentioned that Sauron promised an army, because that was more what she thought she could get out of Halbrand. And yes, sure, Sauron might have nudged her that way. But Sauron’s true offer came later on the raft, after the army had been delivered. Adar even acknowledges that she’s not being truthful, that she needs to let go of her pride. I feel like we’ll see that play out over the last two episodes for sure…

The line that really stuck with me from a Hal&Gal perspective was Galadriel finishing Adar’s line about the world with Sauron being full of colour, and without him it’s a dull grey. It fits with how Galadriel has come across to me this season. Since Elrond shut her out, she hadn’t had anybody to open up to, and she’s certainly not being fully honest with herself yet. That dull grey speaks to how she’s mostly been…quite contained? The only moments where she’s truly come alive were with Nenya, and when she was fighting.

Later in the episode, she DOES put aside her pride. She calls Adar Uruk!!! She opens up and sees the possibility of an alliance. And I think this goes back to Sauron too. She’s had a taste of darkness and the temptation of it, she knows she’s not secure from succumbing, and so her perspective of Adar – who was once an elf – has massively shifted. However, when he asks if he and his children will be able to return to their home…we all know the answer to that.

I actually never stopped to consider that Adar would be the one manipulating/tricking Galadriel, which is silly in retrospect. Because this much better explains how she ends up in a cage facing the elves (sorry guys, I don’t think she’s bait for Sauron…she’s facing the wrong way…). I’m looking forward to watching this bit again, as I feel it was a bit rushed on first watch. I would have liked to see these two chat for a good two scenes more, honestly.

Adar is falling into the trap, which is pretty devastating, and Galadriel is the one seeing through it. Honestly, I really don’t know how things roll out in the finale. I flip from it making no sense for it to be a S1 rehash, to being sure she’ll defiantly resist, to being sure the show is setting her up to not be able to. I JUST DON’T KNOW. I wish I’d never seen those stupid leak spoilers…the promo makes me think they are real, but then we MUST be missing full context.

Adar is still on DEATH WATCH but like…a little bit less than before, honestly? Mostly because I don’t see how we have time to get ALL the confrontations into the last two episodes. When Adar goes out – and he will – he deserves the biggest death.

Random aside: I am pondering sharing something of a Haladriel ramble/rant but I’m also like…IDK if I want the hassle, so we’ll see.

Celebrimbor and Annatar

Oh, Brimby. My heart aches. The sequence with him forgetting Mirdania’s name was so heartbreaking and watching Annatar isolate him so completely was chilling. First, by taking away the other smiths, then with the illusion.

I actually don’t think I have a lot to say on this section, because it’s been rumbling along all season and we’re just about to reach the climax. Sauron is Sauron’ing his hardest in this episode.

I am now quite convinced that Mirdania is not Celebrian (I already didn’t really believe it, but it’s firmer now) and I do think she’ll die. I think she’ll either be killed by Sauron himself, or she’ll be caught in the crossfire of the siege, and as she dies she’ll make eye contact with him and he’ll just coldly leave her. I feel like there has to be some sort of climax to the whole…you look like Galadriel thing, but I’m not really sure what that could be?? I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of time next episode, so maybe that really was a one and done so the viewer understood he’s thinking about her…

Celebrimbor trying to snap on Annatar, and that flash of true rage in Annatar’s face…oh god, next week is going to be soul destroying. I honestly can’t wait and dread it at the same time. Celebrimbor has fought so hard but then comes the illusion, then comes the lure – more talk of the Valar, of his work, of Feanor and the Silmarils. CELEBRIMBOR. GET OUT, PLEASE. GET OUT.

Sauron was then absolutely buzzing at the end there, as war came, and I wonder if there are more twists to come or if things play out fairly straightforward from here. We know the elves will charge the orcs. Does that happen straight away? Is there any communication? Because it’s complicated, isn’t it? On one hand, let Adar and the orcs try to take our Sauron…but then, you know innocents are being killed. You have to save them, surely?

And that’s that, I think? PHEW.

I must say, it’s harder to get through this season being in fandom because I KNOW SO MUCH MORE and I WANT SO MUCH MORE and people STRESS ME OUT. But, at the same time, it feels nice to love something this hard again?

Let’s get episode 7 and [redacted] out of the way fast, though, yeah?

#rings of power #the rings of power #sauron #galadriel #saurondriel #trop #haladriel #lotr rings of power #adar #celebrimbor #durin #disa #elrond #miriel

27 notes · View notes

walder-138 · 1 day

Note

Questions for Annika, Jack, & Oswald:

What's this oc's biggest fear?

What's this oc's mental health state?

What's your favorite thing about this oc?

How does this oc feel about physical affection?

How does this oc get along with people they just met?

VICE!!!!! WHADDUP GIRL!!!! TYSM FOR THE ASK!!!!!

1) What’s this oc’s biggest fear?

Annika: People. Not in a social anxiety typa way (scared of judgement etc), but of what they are capable of. Annika has been exposed to human cruelty from a young age, growing up as a child soldier in a terrorist organization convinced her that every single person around her wanted to hurt her.

Over the years, her fear manifested into hate for humanity. It was never real hate, but ‘hate’ was the only label she could put on it without feeling like a coward. Fear is weak, Anya. Fear is weak. Hate and anger protected her; who wants to pet a rabid dog?

Jack: His scientific ‘research’ being exposed to the public. Jack is incapable of fear or anxiety; he’s a textbook sociopath, but he really doesn’t wanna stop performing his research and experiments (he worked on MK Ultra since he became a doctor) Seeing it flourish due to his involvement has been his greatest achievement, that being taken away from him would tear him apart.

Oz: Losing his daughter, Jenny. I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again; she’s the reason why he got off drugs following Vietnam and stopped being a verbally abusive misogynist to almost every single woman in his life. Oz knows that if he lost her, he’d most likely have a pretty bad relapse and fall back into his old bad habits.

2) What’s this OC’s mental health state?

Annika: Take a wild guess.

Jack: He’s balling honestly 😭 With everything that happened with Bell being a complete success, (assuming Annika isn’t Bell; she detonates the nukes) he basically saw his top project take off. Sure, the dumbasses in the safehouse didn’t listen to him about keeping Bell under that trance or whatever, but he can always start again; make another one.

Bro’s walking on sunshine!

In reality, Jack can’t feel anything. All of his emotions are fabricated. There could be a spark; of hope, or pity, or amusement, or some kinda love, but it’s never enough. He’s almost completely numb. He hates it sometimes, but Jack can’t miss what he’s never had.

Now about the state of his actual brain… uh ask Abbey about that. She fed him the curb

Oz: Shitty. He is constantly haunted by visions from his past. He can barely sleep at night without seeing his men -his sons- dead around him. The heroin, the morphine, and the LSD were the only things keeping him from having to see their mangled bodies scattered every time he blinked. Rehab helped him get over his addiction, but he hated talking to those damn prissy ass shrinks. But now that Jenny’s around, he can’t be high all the damn time, so Oz has to deal with it without any assistance from anyone but his ex.

He’s stressed, and he thinks he can’t do it anymore, but he wakes up every morning and does.

3) What’s your favorite thing about this OC?

Annika: How far her development’s come along. I based her off me when I play video games (I rage a lot 😭) and had to think about how, realistically, someone with an erratic fighting style would come to develop it. Since I die a lot, I figured Annika wouldn’t have any formal military training except by the terrorist organization she was raised in. I really wanted to make her a reflection of my video game playing style, and I’m happy to say that she does. Just with more depth now.

Jack: He’s not far along in his development process, so this will most likely change but so far, it’s how two-faced he is. When you talk to Jack, he genuinely seems like a nice guy that you’d wanna crack a couple cold ones with on a nice, hot day, while all of his ‘patients’ are horrified of him. Dudebro’s the reason Abbey doesn’t like British people 😭

Oz: I’ve got two things. How real he is. I’ll admit; a lot of my ocs are over exaggerated, but at least in my opinion, he’s the most realistic. I’ve made a post going slightly more into depth about this a while back. The other thing is that Oz is somehow my 2nd most morally stable character after all the shit he’s done 😭😭😭

4) What does this OC feel about physical affection?

Annika: She yearns for it. Annika’s never felt the loving touch of any individual that wouldn’t later be used to hurt her. Now, I’m not saying it’s a smart idea to abruptly give her a hug, unless you wanna pull back a bloody stump or you’re her girlfriend, as that scares her, tying back to her fear of people.

Jack: He doesn’t particularly care for it one way or another. Jack might tuck someone’s hair behind their ears if he’s being patronizing, or pat them on the shoulder to reassure them, he doesn’t really get anything from it. He won’t provide any physical contact if it doesn’t benefit him, unless it’s with his partner. Everyone else, even Jack’s own kids, can go to hell.

Oz: Oz is touched starved. At this point, he’d take any form of physical contact from anyone. The problem is, he doesn’t feel like he deserves it, so he recoils from it at every opportunity it’s shown. He says it’s unmanly, but if a woman even patted him on the cheek, bro’s getting a bit excited 🤭

5) How does this OC get along with people they just met?

Annika: Not well. Annika already hates the people she actually knows, introducing her to a person she doesn’t know will ensure hostility. Unless you’re going on a mission with her, she doesn’t want to know anything about you. She doesn’t want to know what you think about the weather. Her life wouldn’t be impacted if you lived or died, and she wants you to know it 😭If she can, Annika would just walk away after the initial greeting.

Jack: He’s the opposite of Annika, at least on the outside. He introduces himself, shakes your hand, and offers to take your coat. Very gentlemanly, especially to women and children. He presents himself as a genuine caring and kind man, giving gifts and offering to listen/help anyone around him. So whenever people (Abbey) accuse him of doing something, everyone tends to be like “Not Jack! He helped me sort through my divorce!” even if they barely know him, cause Jack’s just so damn polite.

Oz: Oz is extremely awkward. Most of the times when he’s meeting someone for the first time he just kinda stands there like🧍‍♂️waiting for his friend to finish talking so he can go watch the Patriots game. He isn’t rude about it though; he’ll smile and wave but he isn’t too good at small talk. Only when he starts to open up more will he start being the asshole we all know and love.

#thanks for the ask!#oc #call of duty oc #call of duty #annika voronova #call of duty cold war #cod #oz clancy #bell cod #bell oc #jack boshaw

16 notes · View notes