#i do NOT want to screw this relationship up at all !!! i really really like them

[a1ecmcdowell]

coincidence — rafe cameron x pogue!reader!

part of the short n' sweet x obx collection, found here!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤincludes, pogue!reader. cheating. sad!rafe :(. i promise i love sofia.

❛ what a surprise - your phone died, and your car drove itself from l.a. to between her thighs! ❜

you and rafe were a bit tumultuous. he loved you in private, and he loved you so much that it sometimes ached, like the sweetest form of violence. 

but in public, he could never manage to switch off the part of his brain that rejected every pogue he came across like he did when you two were alone. it was like he was more concerned about what his friends thought of him and his relationship than he did about your feelings. 

he was pulling back. you could see the signs of it in the ways he started having excuses to keep you from coming over, how his hand would subtly slip from yours when you were out together. 

and you couldn’t just pick apart his brain and fix whatever the problem was, because he didn’t talk to you enough anymore to let you in. 

you didn’t know if you were even still together, but he wouldn’t just ghost you a year into your relationship. he couldn’t. 

you’d decided the night before that you were just going to show up and demand an answer from him. it would probably be a fight, you knew; but what could hurt more than being with someone that didn’t want you any longer? 

that next morning was cloudy gray and speckled with misty raindrops. it didn’t feel like a very good omen about what was coming, but it didn’t slow your footsteps up his porch.

your hand raises to knock on the door at the same moment that it pulls open, and out stumbles — a girl. short brown hair, pretty glossed lips, wearing nothing but a pink bikini top and denim shorts. 

and behind the open door, strong hand wrapped around the edge of it, is rafe. smiling at her like he hadn’t smiled at you in weeks. 

the smile falls the moment his eyes lift to you, and the girl apologizes as she dodges running into you, and it all feels like a big fucking slap in the face. 

he’d been the best part of your life for so long. this hope that you could be more than the cut. and all of this time, he was waiting for the moment that he could dump you back off on your side of outer banks.

“why didn’t you call?” he asks, like that’s the first thing anyone should say when they’re caught cheating. 

you can’t tell if you’re more angry or hurt. both emotions feel like a hot, heavy weight sat right on your sternum. “you don’t answer anymore.” 

“because i’m busy.” 

there’s no remorse in his eyes. actually, you can’t even tell if there is, because he’s looking away from you like he’s already cut you from the picture of his life. 

“what, screwing other girls?” you snap, your voice biting and raw. 

his jaw flexes, tongue pressing into his cheek. “it’s complicated.” 

“i don’t think it is, rafe.” you shake your head, your lips pressed into a tight line. “you were cheating, and you’re mad you’re caught.” 

“oh, you think it’s that simple, huh?” he takes a step closer, his frame taking up the entirety of the doorway. “y’think overnight i just started thinking about wanting to fuck someone else?” 

you falter. no, he’s not going to get away with flipping this on its head and blaming you. making you apologize. 

“you can’t just blame me because you don’t want to take responsibility—” 

his fist slams against the wooden doorframe, and you flinch, because this really was going to be as volatile as you thought. you’d hoped that you were wrong, but you were right, and he was angry that you weren’t just some stupid little pogue he could manipulate. 

“i am taking responsibility. yeah, i fucked sofia,” he seethes through his clenched teeth, “yeah, i’ve been sneakin’ around, what the fuck else do you want to hear?” 

your arms wrap around your chest, and you have to resist the urge to stumble backwards. sofia, sofia, sofia. it plays in your head on a loop, the girl he deemed worth ruining what you had for. 

“why?” is all that you can manage to say. 

his eyes finally drop down to look at you. they’re so blue in the dawning sunrise that you wish, wish, things were different right now, so you could smooth the creases in the corners of his eyes. “m’not good for you.” 

“bullshit.” you spit it out before he’d even finished speaking. “if i thought that, i wouldn’t have stuck around as long as i have. i wouldn’t be sticking around now.” 

“you shouldn’t,” he says just as violently serious as the last, “i’m— i’m trying to push you away, sweetheart—” 

sweetheart. 

it shouldn’t affect you like it does, after how he’d just hurt you like this. but it does, of course it does, because you loved him like the sun loved the moon, and even when he was trying to break this, you’d always be in his orbit. 

“you can’t,” your voice is small as it leaves your lips, but your words aren’t, “i’m not goin’ anywhere. this is one good thing you can’t ruin. not on my watch.” 

he stares at you with that intense blue gaze of his for a long minute. the seconds tick by like hours while you wait for him to say anything. 

and he doesn’t — not with his words, anyway. his arms move from the doorway and encircle your waist, tugging you into a tight embrace. 

you’d known about how much he struggled with wanting acceptance, craving validation that he never got. you’d never expected him to be so used to rejection that he tried to cause it himself, just to be in that familiar place again. 

“m’sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers into your hair, pressing his lips to the crown of your head and leaving them there. “don’t deserve you. i don’t.” 

“you will, and you do,” you push, your fingers curling tightly against his spine. “when you go wash her perfume off of you.” 

his laugh cracks, but it’s a laugh, so you feel better about this. about him. about where he’s at in his head. “of course.” 

“and delete her number.” 

his hands raise to your face, framing it between his large palms. “already did it, baby. but you’re real cute when you’re jealous.”

[firewasabeast]

I feel like the showrunners have really screwed themselves if they decide to give Buck another love interest down the line. Because honestly? Tommy was Buck's perfect match. He cared for him, but he didn't coddle him. Like with the curse, he was willing to go along with him to support him, but he also wasn't afraid to laugh at his ridiculousness. He ALWAYS put him first (rushing to Chimney's wedding straight after fighting a fire all night because he had promised). He listened to him, even when Buck was rambling in the night and Tommy was dead tired. He complimented him, and not just in an overly sexualising way (vision in a cone), although he also wasn't afraid to tell Buck that he was hot. And Buck was comfortable with him - I don't think we've ever seen him unafraid to be all pouty and bratty with any other love interest like we saw in 8x05. And we saw Buck GENUINELY happy.

And while Tommy was perfect for Buck, he wasn't perfect himself - he had flaws and regrets, which he talked about (another thing for their relationship - they communicated... up until the last ep that is, where apparently not being long term never popped up in the six months they were together). And on top of all that, Tommy was a fire-fighter - he understood the risks of the job, the scheduling, the commitment. Furthermore, he was former 118 and had ties with Chim, Hen and Bobby and became friends with Eddie before the two got together - he was integrated seamlessly into Buck's found family in a way no other love interest has been able to achieve.

So yeah, the only way the showrunners could beat Tommy would be to make any future love interest absolutely perfect... and that is just not interesting at all. Or they would have to make a carbon copy of Tommy and its like, but you already had Tommy RIGHT THERE. That, or they do the whole bring have Buck fumble around the dating scene (again) until they know the series is ending and bring Tommy back just so that they can finish the series with Buck not being alone but we as fans want to actually SEE their relationship develop, see Buck actually be happy, not have it thrust upon us in the final hours as a consolation prize. Sigh, so much for "off the hamster wheel".

They made tommy stand out and be special even by calling buck Evan. That should’ve been reserved for a forever love. Not one where we don’t ever find out how that came to be or why it was meaningful.

[eternal-love]

Public Relations

Pairing: Austin Butler x Female!Reader

warning?: (talk about motherhood, slight cheating)

Summary: You and Austin had a baby recently, but things haven’t been peachy, not at all. Fans are starting to speculate. And PR is chasing your asses.

The last time Austin and you were together was right after the birth of your baby girl in June, he had been bugging you for a year of how much he wanted to be a daddy.

At first you were not going to give it to him. You knew his career, how busy he got and it was true, his career was his priority and nothing would ever change that. You understood, he had worked SO hard for it and he wouldn’t leave it to be a stay-at-home daddy or a husband. There was a reason why there wasn’t a ring on your finger.

But you reluctantly agreed to have a baby, just to see him happy. Although you yourself weren’t so sure about it. The pregnancy, damn, was it hard.

You found yourself feeling worn down by the baby inside of you, you went to many midwives and they told you that it was normal. But you couldn’t really do much anyways. You stayed at home, laying down in the bed or bathtub, he was there with you.

And now, months later, your baby girl was three months old and you were in LA. His house in LA, because you lived with him. He was staying in NYC.

You woke up one morning, the baby laying besides you sound asleep. Getting up from the bed, putting on your slippers as opening the windows. Today, you were going to New York because of his PR manager.

You bathed your baby girl, Lux. She totally had Austin’s face. So when you missed him, you looked at her, but whenever he screwed up, you couldn’t look at her. You knew you were being immature but— how can you look at your daughter when she has the face of a man that has hurt you multiple times?

Getting to NYC wasn’t a really long trip, but you never liked it.

You never quite liked New York after getting in a relationship with Austin. Granted, before getting with him, you and your friends spent many morning doing ‘shame-walks’ back to apartments or hotels after wild nights out.

That’s literally how you met Austin, half drunk and with cigarette in your hand, waiting for a taxi to pass by, you didn’t even notice the ash from your cigarette had burnt a hole into Austin’s shirt.

Back then, 2019, he had broken up with Vanessa a month ago and when you got with him, you knew the kind of scrutiny you were getting yourself into. The rumors of you being his side-girl, the reason he broke up with her. And you know, at first you were just a stupid rebound, a one night thing. But when you didn’t leave the next morning after having sex— you both knew you were up for a ride.

Arriving at his apartment in New York, you entered and turned on all the lights, it looked like no one really lived there, not because it was ugly but because everything was so neat. It’s like he only woke up, did his morning routine, went out, and came back to sleep. That was mostly because he basically had been living here on his own for months.

You two didn’t even act like a couple anymore, like anyone would think you’re divorced and you have custody of the kid.

Didn’t take long before he arrived, you heard the keys and the doorknob turning. You heard his boots and he finally entered the living room. You were breastfeeding Lux.

“Oh, fuck, you scared me.” He jumped a little, all the lights were turned off except a small lamp.

“I thought you knew we were here already.” You rolled your eyes. Lux had finished eating, so you pulled her from your breast, covered up and started burping her.

She was so small still, none of this was her fault. Austin leaned down and only kissed your cheek. Not your lips, no nothing. Biting the inside of your check, you glanced down.

“I went to eat but— there’s plenty of food on the fridge.” Austin said, pushing his now long blond hair back. “If you want anything.”

“I had some fruit I saw in the fridge. I’m not very hungry lately.” You said, maybe it was just the whole postpartum thing. It was something weird and new to you. Losing hair, gaining weight, feeling depressed. It all took a toll on you. As it did on other women.

“Well, you should eat. You have been losing too much hair, baby. You have nothin’ on your head!” Austin tried to joke. The joke didn’t quite land, at all.

You got yourself onto his apartment, he had hanged pictures of you, he had added a few of the three of you. Recent one, from when Lori was but a few weeks old. Hanged there on the top of his bed.

You dropped one of your earrings and you knelt to grab it. Reaching to grab it, what did you grab? A g-string.

It wasn’t yours. You are a mother now. A g-string couldn’t hold your entire vagina even if you wanted to.

He had been seeing her again. That fucking nepo-baby. Kaia Gerber. He had been seeing her since the end of 2021. You had told him: it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. But he didn’t listen.

When you told him to do something, he did the opposite.

But you wanted karma to get him. It still hurt, of course. You had just had his baby, it would hurt anyone. You just threw it down there again.

You two were selfish, bringing a little kid to this horrible life, where his parents weren’t that much in love anymore.

You were young when you and Austin started to date, pretty much freshly out of school. You were naive back then, thinking that love could beat everything. What a stupid little girl, who makes stupid decisions and never learns.

“You’ve been seeing her again.” You said to him.

“We’ve been through this before, y/n…” he groaned, as if what you said was an inconvenience.

“Exactly. And every time I try to tell you that she’s not good for you—“

“It’s my goddamn business, alright?” He snapped at you after interrupting.

“It’s not just your business, you son of a bitch. There’s a baby involved. Your baby. Yours.” You finally snapped too.

“Listen. I don’t want to argue today, alright?” He laid back on the couch.

He was a pretty fucker, you wouldn’t deny it. He had gained a shit ton of muscle for the movie he had started filming. He looked three times bigger than when you had first met him.

“PR wants you to be on set tomorrow, with Lux.” Austin said. Looking at his phone.

“Why?” You asked, confused. You barely visited him on any set. Not because you didn’t want to but because he didn’t want you distracting him.

“What else for? Photos. They want to see us be a pretty little fucking family. Isn’t that good?” He said, a little smirk on his face.

“Like, putting on a show?” You asked, confused. You weren’t new to PR moved but this one seemed a little… icky.

“It’ll benefit us both! And it’s a chance for you to finally see me get into action.” He smiled, as if this was a normal Tuesday. Nothing like a good ol’ PR stunt.

“Right, to make you seem like the family guy, got it.” You said sarcastically.

“Don’t be so sarcastic, alright? It’ll make wonders.”

You sat by his side, he turned to face you and his hand reached for your cheek, caressing it with his thumb.

“You have to help me out, baby. Alright, doll?” He basically purred out.

He had a way of making you want to do anything he said.

“Just this one time.” You agreed, reluctantly, you wanted to smack him but you wanted to help him.

“God, I love you.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek, his beard itchy.

You didn’t understand him, did he love you? Did her love Kaia? Did he love just the idea of you being there for him? What did he love?

You got ready to visit him in set while Lux was asleep, once she woke up from her sleep, you bathed her in a little plastic tub.

“Look at you, you smell delicious.” You said as you basically breaded her with baby powder. You liked baby smell, just the smell of them. They smelled clean, pink, you couldn’t even describe it. “Wanna go and see daddy?”

You sprayed on perfume before leaving his apartment. You looked pretty enough for the photos. The whole ride there was filled with traffic, but that’s New York City for all.

Once you got there, you were welcomed by his publicist, Kate.

“Y/n! Over here. Listen, it’ll be easy. You just wait here until Darren yell ‘cut’, then Austin will come up and you’ll be holding Lux. He’ll play with her. Smile at you, kiss you.”

Like acting. Quite literally scripted like a movie scene.

“Okay, yes. Sure.” You nodded, pushing Lux’s stroller.

You walked to the sidelines of filming, standing besides makeup artists, the hair girls, costume, producers, etc. They leaned down and cooed Lux whenever they could.

“She looks just like him!” They said, each and every single one of them.”

Even Darren himself said so. You voicing help but roll your eyes. You hated that she looked so much like him. She had her face, yet she was innocent. She hadn’t done anything to you. Nothing. Just be born with that idiot’s face.

Then it came acting time, Darren yelled ‘cut’ and you reached for Austin with little Lux in your arms. She had a pink onesie and a little pink headband.

Austin went into daddy mode, walking towards you as he cooed baby Lux. He got closer and player with her tiny hands.

“They’re right behind you.” He said as she kept smiling. He was referring to fans there, whose pictures would fly on the internet as soon as they were posted.

They were a complete hit as his PR had predicted. So they went with it, they planned another PR date. The fucking concert. A Gracie Abram’s one at that. Neither did you or Austin listened to her music.

“This is ridiculous.” You muttered as you looked outside the car window. You wore basic clothes, you took your time with the hair and maybe the makeup. But you didn’t leave the apartment very relaxed, there was a nanny taking care of Lux but you didn’t trust her. The fuck you did, you didn’t trust anyone to be around her.

“Just for the photos, alright? I don’t want to do this either but you know— PR.” He said.

The concert was lame, not that the girl wasn’t talented but you weren’t even focused on the whole ordeal. Instead, you focused on texting the nanny about Lux while Austin drank a Corona. Nothing, maybe it it had been a concert of an artist you both enjoyed, you two would have been wrapped on each other’s arms, but who knows? With how things had been, you doubt it.

Getting out of the concert, he put on a fucking face mask. You sighed, but you grabbed his arm as you walked towards the car, the paparazzi there already picturing you two. You weren’t used to paparazzi, you would never be, so you clung onto him, at least a bit tighter. Almost like a deadly grip. Then he took his face mask off, and her rubbed his hand a few times. He looked annoyed already.

The photos went out that very night, various tabloids, and fan accounts of him posted them. So, it didn’t go as planned.

Austin Butler and girlfriend, Y/n, make another public appearance after attending Gracie Abrams’ concert. They’re still going strong!

“He’s the creator of #ihatemygf lol🤣”

“Can she be any less clingy? He looks uncomfortable.”

“She’s gripping him like he’s going to run away if she lets go! 😂”

“They have zero chemistry. I smell a break up.”

“I’m tired of the media forcing them down my throat!”

“She has ZERO MEDIA TRAINING. She’s been with him for six years and she still acts like a frigid little girl.”

“Are these two supposed to be couple goals? I don’t even wish this relationship on my worst enemy.”

“These two can’t even make a PR stunt look buyable! If I were a paparazzi, I wouldn’t even sell these photos!”

Looks like there’s trouble in paradise! Austin Butler and baby mama, y/n. Make yet a second public appearance but people are quick to point out the switch in their body language. As in other photos, it seems like Austin tried to get her off him subtly. As a quote from himself:

‘My love language is physical touch. Tell how great I am and touch me.��

Are we smelling a break up or was it just a common couple disagreement?

“They need to get off each other’s back. He needs a woman his age and she needs a guy her age.”

“They’re stupid for having a baby, they look like they hate each other.”

“Why is she not taking care of his baby?!”

“Do they hate each other? They’re a mess!😂”

“I can’t even look at the second photo without cracking up. Austin’s face says: finally this clingy bitch got off me. 😆”

Yeah, it didn’t go as planned. Austin wasn’t pissed but he was definitely annoyed.

“This is the last fucking time I’m listening to Kate.” Austin threw his phone on the bed. Irritated, he had done all that circus last night for nothing. “Listen, let’s talk.”

You sat there, Lux laid in bed, this could have been a very wholesome family moment. But you three weren’t a wholesome family.

“Alright, let’s talk.” You nodded.

“This thing between us,” he pointed at you and then at the baby and then at him. “It’s not working, it stopped working a long time ago.”

You nod, you knew that. Hell, you knew that since the last trimester of your pregnancy. When you spent them mostly in bed or taking baths. You knew you had become boring but it wasn’t your intention. Nobody ever told you that the life you were creating took so much from you. Lux leeched from you for nine months straight.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” You said, almost as in a tone that said ‘isn’t it obvious?’

“I don’t know why we don’t work anymore. I don’t know what the hell happened between us.” Austin pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

“And what am I supposed to do, huh? I hadn’t seen you in two months, you left me in LA, alone with—“

Austin clenched his jaw, tight. “Don’t out this all on me. It was your choice to have the baby. Maybe if you hadn’t got pregnant, we wouldn’t have this mess!”

After he said that, something inside of you snapped. What the fuck were you doing still with him? With a guy who never woke up by your side. With a guy whose career was his main priority. With a guy that sweet-talked you to have a baby and when he couldn’t handle the changes, flew to NYC. You changed, yes. But it was for him and because of him. You couldn’t keep living with the uncertainty.

“That’s it. I’m going back to LA.” You stood up from the bed, cuddling baby Lux in your arms. You grabbed your purse and Lux’s baby bag. Austin’s eyes widened.

“Are you seriously making another scene, again Austin asked with an irritated expression, but when you grabbed Lux’s baby bottler, he knew you were serious. “No, wait. Hear me out.” He tried to stand in front of you.

“I’m tired of hearing you out!” You said as she circled around him, getting out of the bedroom.

“I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be such an asshole. Or take it out on you. I guess I’m not handling all of this well.” He said softly.

“That’s not my fault.” You snapped again. Tired of always being understanding. Of always trying to be calm and respectful of whatever he said.

“I know. I was just being a dick, alright? I’m sorry,” He looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes, but you wouldn’t fall, not again.

“I’m tired of being understanding and kind. I’m tired of having to listen to every single one of your excuses. I’m done with this. I’m done with being shredded to pieces by the media because you can’t seem to like me. I’m done with you playing with me and that fucking nepobaby. I’m tired of having to be there for you in everything and you can’t even do it for me.”

You snapped, looking at him right in the eye.

“This is where we end.” You said, you didn’t even give him an ultimatum. It just wouldn’t be fixed. It wouldn’t.

“No, wait! You can’t just break up with me. We have a kid, y/n, have common sense…” He said, reaching for your hand.

Were you about to cry because he was holding back tears? Of course. You rarely saw him cry, but you had to be strong. At least for yourself.

“We can be co-parents. It’s the best thing for her. I don’t want her growing up in a place where her parents hate each other’s guts.” You said, you had made up your mind. “I’m sorry.”

You said before storming out of his apartment.

He couldn’t even move. Seriously. Everything had come down on him. Maybe if they hadn’t done that stupid PR stunt, they would have gotten a week or more together.

Author’s note: This is so fucking long, wtf????

Anyways. Thank you for reading 🫶💕

[damagedfletching]

I came from your post saying it was a really good episode, and that you loved it. It went against the grain and I feel the same way!

Tommy had all this talk of wanting a family, that the 118 could be his family but he still broke up with Buck because of what seems like this own insecurities. He can’t believe that Buck really wants him to move in, it’s like a shock to the system. When Buck confesses in 7x04 Tommy is surprised, and in 8x06 assumes Buck is going to be the one to break up.

To me, it comes across like he’s going through his own insecurities of “does Buck really love him?” Maybe it’s biphobia, since he’s ‘buck’s first’, or maybe he’s just not as strong as he presents himself to us. I knew Abby would be connecting them and I thought it was great, honestly. Buck was the rebound, don’t get me started Abby’s lowkey creepy behaviour too before they got serious, and as it comes he’s now dating her ex-fiancé.

The amount of teasing they did before this episode makes me hope they fix it. That they resolve it. The interviews made it seem like a bump in the road and not *The End*. I hope they find a way to keep him around even if they’re not together. Lou is an amazing actor and I relate to Tommy so so so much!

However aside I do think the writing of this episode wasn’t particularly good, it felt rushed and had me devastated at the end. I hope he’s not gone, and while I know they probably won’t be end game I can keep dreaming.

I love your positivity and I love your posts I can’t wait to hear more of your opinions!

Thankyou so much! You’re pretty much on the same train of though I am here, as well!

I really, really relate to Tommy and again while I’m projecting I saw what you saw with the insecurities. I also am starting to get the sneaking suspicion that Tommy panicked, cut and ran before he got in too deep because he’s done this before. Abby (and ugh I won’t start on her 😑) is the only past relationship of his that we have confirmed, so there’s potential there for it to be that!

And oh man, Tommy saying he’s not the last guy, the endgame, the forever partner got me so hard in the fucking feels. Because that is 100% why I relate to him. I’m that guy. I’m the guy that gets a fun however long until we go our separate ways and they find their forever human. But I’m still alone. And I’ve personally screwed up several potentially good relationships because of the trauma I have around that- so why can’t Tommy? That’s where my mind goes, and again there’s so many ideas to be had from that as a storyline too.

I really, really don’t think this is the last we will see of Tommy or Lou. Fandom is upset, but the amount of people from the general audience I see commenting criticism on FB and Insta is making me super hopeful (because the GA loved Tommy and that’s how we got him for more eps in the first place!) I was nearly cry laughing at the amount of commenters saying their boomer parents flipped their shit about it! 😂😂😂

My crystal ball is too cloudy to see into the future for realsies, but I rediscovered my love of shouting into the tumblr void thanks to this show, so I’ll stick around and share my ridiculous ideas and try to make people smile for a long while yet. And please feel free to keep sending me your takes too, because yours are really awesome as well. This fandom is pretty darn good, all things considered!🖤🖤🖤

[turtle-paced]

Do you think Jaime believes Tyrion poisoned Joffrey after he told Jaime he did during the breakout, I don't think he ever thinks about that part since he is so focused on whether Cersei had sex with Lancel and Osmund?

So here's the context:

"I never knew he would do that. You must believe me." "Oh, must I?" Tyrion snarled. "Why should I believe you about anything, ever? She was my wife!" "Tyrion—" He hit him. It was a slap, backhanded, but he put all his strength into it, all his fear, all his rage, all his pain. Jaime was squatting, unbalanced. The blow sent him tumbling backward to the floor. "I . . . I suppose I earned that." "Oh, you've earned more than that, Jaime. You and my sweet sister and our loving father, yes, I can't begin to tell you what you've earned. But you'll have it, that I swear to you. A Lannister always pays his debts." [...] Jaime handed him the ring of keys. "I gave you the truth. You owe me the same. Did you do it? Did you kill him?" The question was another knife, twisting in his guts. "Are you sure you want to know?" asked Tyrion.

Just after that, that's when we get the lines:

"You poor stupid blind crippled fool. Must I spell every little thing out for you? Very well. Cersei is a lying whore, she's been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know. And I am the monster they all say I am. Yes, I killed your vile son."

Basically, Tyrion's screwing with Jaime like Jaime screwed with him (under Tywin's instructions initially, but still, Jaime had choices in the years that followed). If Jaime made Tyrion believe a lie, Tyrion can make Jaime believe a lie. Which is all the easier to feed him when it comes with the truth of Cersei's infidelity. As Jaime realises over AFFC, that part definitely has the ring of truth to it.

I think there's a part of Jaime that knows Tyrion was lashing out - the relevant truth, more than anything about who killed Joffrey, is that Tyrion was that angry with Jaime. The lies Jaime told blew up the relationship that much, and that's what's made Tyrion tell both that truth and that lie, in a way that they both knew would get under Jaime's skin like nothing else. Jaime's not just struggling with his father's murder and the realisation that his sister-girlfriend has been cheating on him, he's dealing with the realisation that his brother might really hate him now too.

[mister-mykal]

9-1-1 8x06 Thoughts on the Buck, Eddie, and Tommy of it all

Okay I have like almost no followers, which makes sense because I usually only normally lurk here. I'm also sure none of my followers are into 9-1-1 here, but I just need to scream into the void on the off chance someone sees this. None of my friends watch this show so I really just hope even just one person reads this and makes me feel a little less foolish because a lot of the discourse here is so "us vs them" and black-and-white. This is gonna be obnoxiously long, so I don't expect anyone to read all this, if any of it, but I'll put a TL;DR at the end. I will not be bashing Tommy or Eddie in this post! Also I'm typing while it's late for me and my ADHD makes me a horrible proofreader, so sorry for typos and the such.

I hate fandom drama, I cannot care less about whatever beef bucktommy stans and buddie stans have I've been trying to mostly ignore it. I'm just upset if this ends up being sloppy writing on the 9-1-1 team's part. I'm gonna try to be nuanced about how I felt about 8x06 because I feel like there is a way to do this and not completely screw the writing for either Tommy or Eddie.

Tommy does not have to be endgame, that is fine. I think Eddie is definitely more popular with the fans and plenty of people love a good slow burn. Their chemistry is also undeniable. But plenty of people enjoy Tommy too, despite his cavalcade of haters. And to have thrown away what seemed like a character arc in the making for him seems like a waste if this is the last we see of him? I hear he's going to be in at least one more episode, so I hope they do that justice. I don't need them back together, I just need this to make better sense.

I know people really hate Lou and Tommy, but I'm pretty neutral about him. (Idk how true the very little things I've see about Lou is because I keep hearing he's homophobic, misogynistic, racist, etc. but I have not be able to find any receipts. If it is true, that sucks and I get why they would try to write someone like that out of the show. However, just I'm gonna focus on it from purely a story perspective right now.) I enjoy seeing Buck happy after all the shit he's gone through in his past relationships. I was cautiously optimistic from the interviews that said he was finally "getting of the hamster wheel". But yet again, Buck loves with his whole heart and has his hopes dashed. It would have been one thing if Buck was the one who ended things, but really? This again? He doesn't need his heart broken AGAIN. I don't care who Buck ends up with, I just want him to be happy and secure with whatever partner he chooses.

Why bring back a previously established character who has some growing to do and then throw them away again? Boooo, if they wanted Buck and Eddie's queer awakening arcs to happen separately, and weren't interested in expanding Tommy's character, they should have just set up Buck with random throwaway guy. Otherwise it's just drama for the sake of drama instead of something that's in greater service to the narrative or character writing. Tommy becoming Eddie's friend first especially feels too intentional. Tommy already having established relationships with Hen, Chim, and Bobby feels too intentional.

Tommy's insecure feelings over Buck eventually choosing someone else, likely Eddie, over him is incredibly real and make sense. He's never felt like he's had a place to belong in general. He's jealous of the 118, he's jealous and threatened by Eddie's relationship with Buck. Honestly, I also wouldn't be surprised if Eddie was the one who caught his eye at first because it's not that hard to clock Eddie if we're being honest. It's pretty clear Tommy was baffled that Buck was fighting to get his attention over Eddie's. Why set up this arc and end it before it's even started? If there's a ever a starting point for Tommy to grow, it's right here and now. Otherwise it makes no sense.

At the same time, Eddie's character writing makes ZERO sense if he isn't a deeply closeted gay man (or at least asexual, but that's unlikely, especially with the way they've been positioning Buck and Eddie for the longest, and especially the way they position Eddie and the Hot That whole interaction with the hot priest and the mustache, beard, fruit juice, plenty of metaphor we all picked up on that. Never has an actual straight character said "no offense, I'm straight" like that within the context of the surrounding narrative. Like come on? Denying yourself FRUIT JUICE? Denying yourself joy?? which gay used to be a synonym for? Girl, please. And even with Josh's speech a bit? I think it's obvious enough that it could also be extended to Eddie, even though he's closer to Buck's age. Growing up Catholic is pretty rough for queer people.

On top of the fact that there are plenty of other hints while he did/does have love for Shannon, it was almost always in the context of that she is the mother of his child. He literally had a panic attack over someone mistaking Ana for his wife, and over their relationship starting to get serious. Ana is a lovely lady that most men that are attracted to women would be happy to have... so what's the issue, really? And then he only thinks about staying with her simply because she could be the new mother to his child. Be so for real.

And Eddie honestly has been pretty awful to the women he has dated, and you can either choose to read that as him being a chauvinistic, exploitative pig (doesn't really align with the rest of his character), or someone deeply in the closet who doesn't really want to be with a woman. (yeah, that's sounds more accurate.)

We can reconcile all of this though. Buck more than likely has romantic feelings for Eddie, I think it'd be silly to think otherwise, but even though Buck has figured out who he is, it doesn't mean Eddie has yet. He's made progress, but he has at least a little ways to go left. As far as Buck knows, Eddie is straight in this moment. He's never hesitated to write him off as his "best friend", while Eddie... well, he'll realize he's in love with Buck soon enough.

Still, I feel like it's a bit disingenuous to say that Buck doesn't care about Tommy at all, he is clearly hurt by the break up. At the very least, even if they don't get back together at all, they need to talk this out like adults and have Tommy explain himself better, because it's obvious Tommy has walls from from past experiences. Doesn't make it okay that he did Buck like that, but no one on this show has been perfect so... 🙄 At the very least we should get that one episode from that "See you around, Buck" (Ouch, Tommy. Though I feel like that was more so Tommy distancing himself to Buck to protect himself more than to hurt Buck.) Though just as easily, we might only ever see him here and there again on calls that require air support so who knows. 🤷🏾

There were some pretty obvious parallels set up between Abby and Tommy this episode. Abby and Tommy were both firsts for Buck, they're both around the same, older age. Both of them are experienced and life and deeply lonely, so how could they possibly turn away someone who has as much love to give as Buck does? Both of them are, seemingly, just stepping stones on Buck's way to self discovery. Buck even says it himself, he calls their relationships "transformative", but obviously because the experiences Tommy has had as an older queer man, he's probably not a stranger to beings someone's flyover until they get to their actual destination. I understand why he would want to protect himself like that.

Even if that's the case, I don't think Buck would want to leave things like this. I know in one of the interviews Oliver says Buck is be heavily considering if he wants to fight for this or not, but at the very least I hope they've shown his growth and showcase his emotional intelligence by calling out Tommy that it's not fair to him to sorta decide how he feels, even if it is Buck's first relationship with a man.

It's far from Buck's first relationship and idk, it feels a little icky to tell the bi person to go fool around a be a slut when he's said that he's tired of sleeping around and wants to settle down. That can just be a character flaw with Tommy (I've met plenty of biphobic monosexual queer people), but at the very least can't Buck call him out on it? Let them have a more mature, complete conversation and let Tommy say the quiet part aloud. At the very least, I get Tommy's intention, he doesn't want Buck to have any regrets, but I don't think he knows just how much he's hurt him and how many times he's been through the situation.

Something really upsetting, even though Tommy has had his problems and hasn't been the greatest person, really sad about any closeted queer person who's been nasty, but much of it came from circumstance, not getting a chance to grow after they literally set that up with the script. Well, you do you I guess. At the very least if Tommy is nothing more than a plot device, couldn't you have let Buck come to conclusion they should break up and give him even an ounce of power in his romantic pursuits for once? Instead of the one loving too hard and too fast and hurting from it? The interview where (I don't remember who exactly) said we wont be seeing much more of Tommy, if at all really annoys me because if this is it? Ugh. That break up didn't feel conclusive at at all.

TL;DR: Wasting a previously established character as a plot device after setting up what seemed like some sort of character arc for him even if he wasn't Buck's endgame seems like really sloppy writing if you decide to discard him back into the obscurity for the rest of the series. It feels like a cheap way to add extra drama and the implications and situations you could create from at least dragging this out a little bit more could create a more satisfying resolution to this at the very least. Why retread old ground again when you said that you wouldn't and waste all the potential you were setting this up with this scenario? It still seems unresolved, so hopefully this tie this up, regardless of who Buck ends with in the end (because the focus really should be on Buck finally getting the love and care that he deserves in a romantic relationship, or at least getting to end one amicably.)

Anyway tear me apart, ignore me, whatever. IDC anymore.

[sixisnotaprettynumber]

This might be a controversial opinion but I think the possession scenes in s2 were not only necessary for Ben’s character but also the characterizations of the Hargreeves’ siblings in general, if only because it re-establishes two of the main issues that they struggle with due to the abuse they suffered as children - being unable to comprehend autonomy and struggling with gaining (and lacking) control.

From the beginning of s1 it’s shown that despite the majority of the siblings’ strained relationship with Reginald, they all still play the parts he assigned to them well into adulthood - Luther is the ever-loyal golden child, Diego is competitive and rebellious but is still playing hero through his vigilante work, Allison has completely leaned into the fame that her powers and the Academy got her, Klaus is the failure that never managed to reach his true potential and Viktor is still ordinary. And when Reginald (while unbeknownst to the siblings) creates a plan for them all to return home and band together, they ultimately end up following through.

We don’t get to really see this with Ben though. Sure, he gets onto Klaus about his addiction - but that’s not a control thing, that’s just because he loves his siblings’ and wants his brother to be safe and healthy, right?

And to an extent the answer is yes. Obviously he loves Klaus. Obviously he wants the best for him. But I think that it’s telling that Ben’s method of trying to get Klaus sober relies on prioritizing other people - specifically himself. In fact, his main argument for Klaus getting sober is because his addiction makes Ben feel like he has no input or control.

And while it comes across as being self-centered, it (in my opinion) shows that the siblings’ genuinely view having some sort of control/input to be important - and they equally expect the others’ to understand why they are upset when they don’t have it.

This leads directly into the possession issue in s2. Ben - who’s been dead for seventeen years, whose Dad methodically stripped away his and his siblings autonomy as children, whose sister literally has the power to make people do whatever they want, whose body acts as a host/portal for a horrifically violent eldritch being - sees an opportunity for control. And he takes it! Because obviously. Who wouldn’t?

While we the audience know that behavior is wrong and invasive - the Hargreeves’ don’t. Their idea of privacy and free will - and honestly just ethics in general - is super screwed up. Even Diego - whose strong moral compass is one of the biggest aspects of his character - doesn’t view Ben possessing Klaus as wrong. To him, it’s a joke at best and irritating to Klaus at worse. It’s a part of a bigger pattern seen with the siblings throughout the show.

Losing autonomy is just normal to them. It doesn’t even cross their minds that they’re being cruel to one another - this is especially true when it comes to Ben and Klaus’s relationship! They aren’t trying to hurt each other in s2 (for the most part), they’re trying to annoy one another - they just grew up in an environment where they never learned where the line was.

Now, I’m just going to end this here because otherwise I’d just keep rambling on about how this relates to the lack of boundaries between the siblings (specifically Klaus and Ben) in general or how it reflects Ben’s view of the horror or a million other different things. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far - but I don’t blame anyone who didn’t.

[leham-n-daavocado]

Just finished the third season of Bridgerton (it was an incredibly frustrating watch)...People have said that Penelope is named as such because of her nickname Pen and her being a writer... but has anyone thought of the reference to the Odyssey and Penelope being the wife of Odysseus? You know, she had to be loyal for 20 years while Odysseus gallivanted across the globe and was distracted/cheating on her Circe? I feel like it goes with the whole Polin narrative too. She's the one who had to wait for him to get a clue. And if you've read the Penguin version of the Odyssey, you know everyone is like omg! Odysseus, so amazing, the sacker of cities etc. Which parallels Colin's "glow up". Totally think it's more of a literary reference since the two of them are writers...

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[hatkuu]

kuu! why'd you stop making kylar fics? is everything okay? we need you to feed us please

hiiiii im really sorry about not writing as much here as i've wanted to :( uni is a LOT more than what i was expecting and i'm juggling my first ever real romantic relationship !

i obviously still LOVE kylar and they were like. my lifeline for aggeeesss (please see my WHOLEEE fucking blog for proof) but i'm just lacking a lot of passion in regards to my writing in general :( it's really heartbreaking because it used to be a hobby i enjoyed sososo much but now i genuinely cannot find the time to do it!

it just feels weird to be thirsting over fictional characters when my perfect partner is only a couple of kilometres away ... hopefully i'll get more comfortable with it and get right back to the thirsting !!!

(negative ranting about dol below the cut)

also also, as i have now been exposed to what a real, healthy relationship looks like - i find myself leaning further and further away from enjoying non-con and dub-con material (not to shame anyone who DOES enjoy it - i've just been leaning further and further away from it which is kind of heartbreaking because i found it so easy to write !!!)

i'm also just like. not as interested in dol anymore? i feel like as the game progresses, the love interests are getting more and more estranged from the 'self-interpretation' element of the game. like. i saw canonised heights and it just set me off :( i dunno why. also the lack of kylar content is probably killing my passion.

but yeah. hopefully i find another fandom that sparks an interest for me !!! because dol right now just isn't my cup of tea :(

(you can still send me asks though!!! i'll probably make a new blog for my not non-con fics though (or maybe rebrand this blog entirely? idk)

[heyitslapis]

Ok

[torgawl]

unpopular opinion but a ship being queer coded doesn't make it compelling

[wendynoire]

Probably going to post some vent art soon. The tags are also a bit of a vent.

[shidoukanae]

Lineart to lineless art progress thingie (for funsies! and also bc im running out of things atm to put in queue lol). My fashion sense is very basic but i really like the left & right designs for Helene!

It's interesting to see how many details get lost/added in the process between lining things out/turning the lines to full color. Helene's face on the left loses the angle I was going for (OTL) and i fiddled with the anatomy a bit to make it better on the right

Wanted to make this as a glimpse at what a modern AU!version of Helene would look like (and im really hoping to see her on Earth and her reactions to being on Earth! but atm it's hinted only dragons are capable of tracking down people across 'verses so im just saying...hey Paris...regarding Helene and your Dragon Pact powers...).

[mira0000000-blog]

It's kinda funny that I have fankids in the brain but they have almost 0 dynamic (or zero GOOD dynamic) with their parents they just go on silly shenanigans