#i do NOT want to screw this relationship up at all !!! i really really like them
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randall and henry are likened to brothers constantly in this game, which makes it kind of ridiculous that i never picked up on that as a kid. of course, it doesn't necessarily mean they do see each other as siblings, and certainly the way they were raised wouldn't automatically make them siblings regardless (they aren't biologically related and henry wasn't adopted, per se), but the idea that they have a brotherly relationship is certainly there.
to that end, there's nothing inherently incestuous about seeing henry and randall as a romantic pairing, as their status as brothers is entirely dependent on whether or not they see each other that way, something which isn't stated in the clearest of terms. i certainly would harbor no ill-will against the ship or those who ship it...
though having come this far in my miracle mask rewatch, and knowing that at the end of the day the most important things are randall's compassion for henry and henry's dedication to randall (and not any potential romance therein), i'm inclined to shift my personal view of them: to see them as brothers more than a couple. that's sort of awkward, considering how i've posted and reblogged ranhen stuff frequently up until now, but it's really no big deal. there's nothing wrong with it, as i had a different view of them then, but going forward i'd be posting about them in a different light!
and anyway, it's easy enough to reframe my thoughts on them... their relationship is still just as heartwarming and heartbreaking...
imagine you're henry, a small, sensitive little boy. you live in the household of the wealthy ascots, but they didn't adopt you: you're their servant, not their son... and because of that, you have to constantly see yourself as below them, even the ascot kid who's your age. naturally, your self-esteem starts incredibly low... except, for some reason, the ascot kid - a boy named randall - treats you not just as a regular child, someone on his level, but as your brother. it's inexplicable, but it's true, and as a token of this, he's given you his favorite toy robot: a symbol of his love for you. even if his parents will never treat you as their son, he continues to treat you as his brother.
randall takes you on adventures with his friends angela and dalston, the former of which he has a crush on. when with randall, you feel like you're more than just a servant: you feel on top of the world. despite being sensitive and timid otherwise, you're excited to go on adventures with him, picking up some of randall's fervent love for treasure-hunting. perhaps you feel like nothing without him, as he's the only person who has shown you love...
unfortunately, once you become a teenager, mr ascot pulls you away from your childhood, your education, and your friends to train to be a butler: he sees your diligence, your obedience, your thoughtfulness, and thinks you more valuable to the household as a servant than the flighty randall is as a son. now the only person your age you can ever interact with is randall, and then only when he's home... all you have is the boy who chose to be your brother... when he is around, he talks to you about archeology: he knows how important you are, how wise you are, and you help him uncover secrets relating to the mask of chaos, a relic massively important to him. you're more than willing to help randall with this. after all, he chose to be your brother. you'd do anything for him. one part the feeling of subservience instilled in you from your life as a servant, one part the feeling of loyalty towards someone who made you feel worth anything... you want to be his servant, if it means he'll treat you like you aren't one.
but every time randall leaves the house, he spends hours with angela and another boy, a new boy... a boy named hershel... a boy who, like you, balances out randall's energy and ambition. you feel he has taken your place in your absence. you spend every day working menial tasks for mr ascot: when randall is gone, you are nothing but a servant, waiting to be a brother again. and while you are a servant, hershel gets to be with randall. you don't like hershel very much... why, he doesn't even want to go on adventures with randall. absurd! why even be his friend?
randall wants to unearth the treasures of the azran, with the mask of chaos guiding him towards glory. he feels it is his destiny, and in fulfilling it, he would impress angela's parents enough to let her marry him. he needs this, so you need him to get it - and so you help randall prepare for his expedition. you wish to join him, instead of that hershel boy... you long to adventure with your dear randall again, but beyond that, you don't trust hershel to keep him safe. you could keep him safe. after all, if you're with randall, you feel on top of the world, and you'd do anything for him. but hershel? you don't trust hershel, and so you worry about randall. so long as you can't be there with him, perhaps he shouldn't even go... he promises to be safe, and that this will be his last expedition. you trust him, because he has chosen to be your brother, and he loves you, and he'd never lie. you trust him, unlike hershel. you help him sneak out of the house, even if it means seeing him leave with hershel into a wilderness you cannot help him through.
you think randall must come back, for he would never break a promise. and anyway, you cannot fathom life without him. for he chose to be your brother, in a house that used you as a machine. at least while he's away, while you're forced to be nothing but a servant again, you can await his return, and the return of your worth as a person with him... you couldn't bear to be a machine forever... a robot executing tasks until its power runs out...
hershel returns. randall is gone, he says. you don't believe him. you hate him. randall is alive. hershel gave up on him. but randall never gave up on you, so you cannot give up on him. randall is alive. he must come back, for he promised. life without him is impossible. thus, so long as you live, he must be alive as well. and so you dedicate your life - a life which you feel is only worth anything because of him - to randall's life. you are willing to make yourself into a machine, into a robot, to execute this task: loving randall so much, as he'd loved you, that you bring him back from the dead.
and so you spend half your life dedicated to him. you "marry" angela so she doesn't have to marry dalston, ready to be with randall again when he returns. you spend time and money searching the ruins he disappeared in yourself, then organizing search parties to do the same; all of the ruins' treasure is spent on looking for randall, or for building a beautiful city for him to live in when he returns. it is all for him. you work yourself to the bone, just as his parents had done to you. you are randall's servant, for he chose to be your brother. you live for him, for without him you have no life: without him, you are a broken toy robot.
someone has come to destroy monte d'or, the beautiful city you made for randall. and this someone, this "masked gentleman", keeps pinning the blame on you, as if you'd destroy any of this... no, you'd been saving it all for randall... and hershel, who has returned on angela's request to solve the mystery of the masked gentleman, has the gall to blame you for this all. how dare he? not only does he take your place at randall's side, he never even knew the place he was taking... you hate hershel. you only comply to his requests to save monte d'or.
and hark... the masked gentleman is randall himself. you were right, he wasn't dead, even though you were irrational and desperate for thinking so. and he hates you. he thinks you took his angela, and his fortune, and his family, and his glory. he was manipulated into seeing you this way, after almost two decades of amnesia. and he hates you. and he regrets ever choosing to be your brother. but you cannot be mad at him... you can barely even explain yourself... you're lucky hershel is able to do that for you. if not for him, you would never have gotten your brother back.
how lucky you are... giving up your personhood for so long really paid off, and now you just might let randall make you feel like a person again...
#melonposting#professor layton#their relationship is so horribly depressing. like genuinely#both are so mentally ill#and the worst thing is that henry's unhealthy reliance on randall paid off. it's been positively reinforced#it was utterly unreasonable to assume randall was alive - nevermind dedicate half his life to finding him#and yet despite all of that randall did return. so now henry knows okay! i should keep doing that!#i should keep giving myself up for anyone who makes me feel like i'm not totally worthless!#of course randall's also really screwed up but at least something happened to him to make him want to change some of that#but henry? noooo way#he still sees himself as randall's servant i think. which is incredibly depressing. that's the last thing randall wants...#familial ranhen
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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kuu! why'd you stop making kylar fics? is everything okay? we need you to feed us please
hiiiii im really sorry about not writing as much here as i've wanted to :( uni is a LOT more than what i was expecting and i'm juggling my first ever real romantic relationship !
i obviously still LOVE kylar and they were like. my lifeline for aggeeesss (please see my WHOLEEE fucking blog for proof) but i'm just lacking a lot of passion in regards to my writing in general :( it's really heartbreaking because it used to be a hobby i enjoyed sososo much but now i genuinely cannot find the time to do it!
it just feels weird to be thirsting over fictional characters when my perfect partner is only a couple of kilometres away ... hopefully i'll get more comfortable with it and get right back to the thirsting !!!
(negative ranting about dol below the cut)
also also, as i have now been exposed to what a real, healthy relationship looks like - i find myself leaning further and further away from enjoying non-con and dub-con material (not to shame anyone who DOES enjoy it - i've just been leaning further and further away from it which is kind of heartbreaking because i found it so easy to write !!!)
i'm also just like. not as interested in dol anymore? i feel like as the game progresses, the love interests are getting more and more estranged from the 'self-interpretation' element of the game. like. i saw canonised heights and it just set me off :( i dunno why. also the lack of kylar content is probably killing my passion.
but yeah. hopefully i find another fandom that sparks an interest for me !!! because dol right now just isn't my cup of tea :(
(you can still send me asks though!!! i'll probably make a new blog for my not non-con fics though (or maybe rebrand this blog entirely? idk)
#hatkuuasks#i do NOT want to screw this relationship up at all !!! i really really like them#(3 months strong!!!)#im actually really sad to admit my distaste for the game </3#like obviously i love kylar but i have not touched the game in 11+ months due to general disinterest#i dunno#eeeee
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Dear fucking God
So I've been dreaming more about my most recent ex lately (likely bc we started dating around this time last year), which is frustrating me Immensely. So I decided, Fuck it, I'd try to join a dating app after all. At least to try see.
Tried looking into what app to use, and it seems like it's an entire goddamn cesspool of bots and disgustingly expensive subscription services. Nothing is rated well. What's rated better is reviewed elsewhere to just be full of hot air. Tinder seems to be mostly for hookups, not interested. Her sounds nice for some, but I'd be uncomfortable there as a nonbinary person. Hinge and Bumble seem to be viewed generally badly too. And it all leads back to OkCupid, which sounds nice In Theory with the selection options, but a lot of people are saying it's gone to the fuckin dumps. But it seems like *everything* is a fucking cesspool, so if something is even a Little bit useful, then maybe it's still worth a try.
So I said fuck it. Let's try OkCupid. Downloaded, started trying to sign up.... and then I get an error message saying it can't create the account????
Like ok. Fuck me I guess. This was a stupid idea anyways.
#speculation nation#negative/#i could also wander back onto Lex i guess but i want. specifically. something that allows for more selection.#i want to be able to filter by people who are interested in the same kind of relationship that i am#which Matters now that ive officially decided i do want to raise kids.#i dont want to waste my time with people who arent interested in that anymore.#but it's hard to just bring that up in conversation. so a selection process is nice.#but just... ugh. i hate all of this. and i hate that i cant just go out and meet people bc i have stupid anxiety about talking to strangers.#it just makes me uncomfortable. online is easier. and fuck dude i know a romantic relationship isnt the end all be all#and believe me id love it if i didnt feel so pressured to Be in one.#what id love is a domestic partnership thats not necessarily romantic. but does have the possibility of sex.#bc screw me i. well. lmao i do have an interest in that.#it's just the amatonormative bullshit of romance being the end all be all. them being my Everything. etc etc etc#i want someone who i enjoy being around who will make me feel good and would potentially be open to raising kids with me#but also wouldnt mind the fact that my brain doesnt fucking Do romance like normal people. it just doesn't.#if it werent for the fact that im pretty sure ive had actual romantic feelings at least 2 times in my life. id think i was just aro.#grey aro for sure. this shit is barely there. but sometimes...... so so rarely tho. not really worth the trouble.#but i DO want someone around to make my life easier and to give me attention and make me feel special. you know???#just so frustrating. all of this is frustrating. Ugh.
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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unpopular opinion but a ship being queer coded doesn't make it compelling
#the dynamic between the characters‚ on another hand‚ does!#sometimes ships from certain media are carried by 'queer coding' instead of being relevant because of the actual relationship#that‚ to me‚ means very little#what does it matter if their colours compliment each other or that their names are intended to hint at something if the relationship in#the story fails to portray anything romance-like or their dynamic is just poorly written?#i could go on a tangent here because this is coming from me wanting to rant about a specific genshin ship but i will shut up#i just want to be a hater#i don't even hate the ship itself it's the fans who take scenes out of context and depth from the characters to make the narrative fit#also the constant idea in fandoms that friendships/platonic relationships can't have depth or be the reason someone cares deeply for#somebody else. or even the idea platonic feelings can't be complicated.#i think it's also hard for me to swallow every genshin ship because it's obvious they use queer coding without compromise as a way to#profit with both the staights and the lgbts but whatever#yes i am aware of the censorship but i'm also aware they're a multi-millionaire company that keeps repeating the same 'formula'#for marketing everytime new characters are released... and it works.#genshin will never be as gay as actual gay media from gay creators and i think people have a hard time grasping that#a bit unrelated to my original point but also not really because i do think it influences the way people interact with the story#i'm not trying to say people can't have fun by the way 😂#this all started because i dislike a popular ship and that makes you feel like you're somehow missing a few screws#how come i'm the only right person here 🤣 (joking)
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Probably going to post some vent art soon. The tags are also a bit of a vent.
#just lost 2 people I thought were my friends#like I was mad at one because she was ghosting me#but they literally went from friendly chatter and talk about meeting up to complete ghosting#after MONTHS hitting me with “I'm moving on with my life”#so I'm not really okay right now#I will be#but this has shaken me deeply#maybe don't ghost people for months if you want to leave the relationship behind#and maybe give a heads up of “hey#“I'm rethinking things right now#“not sure how much I'll talk to you in the future. Good luck with everything if we end up not talking”#rather than “yeah we should meet up in May” *July* “lmao I don't care about you that's why I ghosted you”#just a thought#maybe don't make people who were your friends and didn't screw you over feel like shit#but what do i know#I just had to miss a year for chronic pain putting me behind almost all of my friends#no big deal#right?
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it's 3 am and i can't sleep so naturally i am thinking about The Boyfriend
#like. my boyfriend. in case there is a tv show/series or sth that's called 'the boyfriend' lol#i love being in love. from a metaperspective.#i hate The Great Missing#and i hate that i am very insecure about the fact i am doing *gestures wildly* all this for the first time.#i feel like there's a reason why this usually happens in your teen years. now i have to deal with#the question of how to be in a functioning relationship along with the question of how to have a functioning live lol#i hate that i am not as good at communicating as i want to be#but being in love gives me motivation. fills me with a deep desire to figure shit out. to get better. to be better. to feel better.#because now there is someone who loves me [still can't grasp that really] as i am but will suffer along with me when i screw up#and never before did the thought of being the cause of somebody else's hurt hurt me more#(which doesn't mean i have been indifferent to the effects of my behavior on other people i love.#it just means that the urgency behind the feeling as reached a new level)#like... i know that firsts usually do not last - but there have been cases! and i really really want this to work#i want to make this work. i am cautious but i want to trust this. maybe that makes me naive but that's me#yeah. late night rambles..#anyway. i miss him. i miss his smell and his warmth and his breathing and running my fingers through his hair and over his skin#and giving him little kisses while he is asleep next to me and- ...yeah i miss him ♡#random starchild noises#starchild in love noises
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Lineart to lineless art progress thingie (for funsies! and also bc im running out of things atm to put in queue lol). My fashion sense is very basic but i really like the left & right designs for Helene!
It's interesting to see how many details get lost/added in the process between lining things out/turning the lines to full color. Helene's face on the left loses the angle I was going for (OTL) and i fiddled with the anatomy a bit to make it better on the right
Wanted to make this as a glimpse at what a modern AU!version of Helene would look like (and im really hoping to see her on Earth and her reactions to being on Earth! but atm it's hinted only dragons are capable of tracking down people across 'verses so im just saying...hey Paris...regarding Helene and your Dragon Pact powers...).
#TME art#for how much i obsess about Helene I don't draw her often lol#partly bc it's really hard to draw her right in my eyes#on things i really hope happen in the manhwa: it's PARIS who gets to visit Lyla on Earth first and learn her real name because in the LN-#he WAS the first one to find out her name so it'd be kind of a fitting homage to his LN self if he learned her Korean name first#and teleported to her first the way he did in the LN before Fian did#PLUS PLUS PLUS#I've been thinking about it a lot but irl!Lyla and Paris look like they could be siblings#and it'd be REALLY FUNNY if Paris appeared on Earth and was mistaken as a long lost brother or something#plus im ngl i kind of want to see him build a bond with Lyla and big brother her the way he did in the LN#either by protecting her from her shitty family or scaring them off#but also it'd be really funny to see Twilight's reaction to Paris in particular appearing on Earth#(also god i forgot Twilight was a plot point in the manhwa bc she never shows up in the LN lmao)#but at least i get to have hope we might get a IRL arc with Paris or Fian or Helene (or hopefully all 3!!!)#plus i don't think it's Twilight who found Lyla when she last passed out bc the person who saved Lyla didn't look like Twilight#so im wondering if either that was Fian from the future his reincarnation in this world or someone else?#now that im thinking of Twilight im wondering who she is even more now beyond being the author#is she really Sienna reincarnated like speculations assume?#perhaps even the old Lyla herself?#and will Twilight get to meet Helene aka the heroine she royally screwed over in more ways than one?#and what would Twilight think of Paris getting close to Helene considering what she knows about their OG relationship?#gosh im looking forward to the manhwa and how it handles Twilight/the dragons hopping dimensions (hopefully w/ their gals)#also just saying but Helene probably is the only one who has the capacity to reach Lyla atm bc she knew about Sienna's teleportation magic#and hypothetically she can reverse-engineer it to reach Lyla once she learns what the hell is going on#but considering Helene doesn't know Lyla's an imposter much less that she comes from another world would she be willing to do so?#and then there's the archery festival too that's either being skipped or going to see Lyla attend it like in the LN#waaaaaah i love all the changes the manhwa introduces it makes me so excited to see how Yuria will shake things up#especially since this round Lyla IS an imposter separate from the OG!Lyla and not someone who will end up turning into Lyla#i have SO MANY THOUGHTS on this manhwa and its direction esp compared to the LN jfc#im DEFINITELY waiting for the promise of Paris going to Helene to finally ask for her help
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It's kinda funny that I have fankids in the brain but they have almost 0 dynamic (or zero GOOD dynamic) with their parents they just go on silly shenanigans
#heroic pipe bomb and angsty traumatized but nature lover going on shenanigans#nerine is sur/gamy and he has pretty much nothing to do with his parents#and the other is unnamed son/adow that i just have concepts and uhh their relationship with their “parents” is pretty..bad. bad.#they both accidental clones lol and that unites them along other stuffs#nerine wants to be a hero but isnt conscious of certain things you associate with heroes like#he can save someone but destroy stuff in the enviroment in the process and does nothing about it just walks away#while unnamed kid forces him to fix the collateral damage because they care for nature like sonic#even if they dont like people at all#ohh my plastic cup personality babies....#they do go on a time travel adventure cos Nerine starts to have some really screwed up memory issues#and unnamed has heard about Sonic having memory issues aswell (frontiers)#so they steal some emeralds and try to go to the past and they manage to do it#and they discover things and meet characters and stuff u know playing with dolls here#i dont want to go to sleep but i have too.....#also unnamed has shape shifting powers and does everything in its power to not look TOO MUCH like their parents#because they hate them that much :}#ok i will slep
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THE WAY YOU WRITE IS JUST SO YUMMM so yeah🧍🏻♀️can you write something about streamer ellie <33
☆: IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. definitelyyyy hasn't been...months...anyway. positive this is one of the worse things i've written, but didn't wanna leave you hanging forever! ngl it's pretty filthy..heh.
◇: 18+ pretend those twitch guideline things don't exist. remote control vibrator use, orgasm denial, sub-ish!ellie?? plot twist at the end bc i think im so funny. 1.6k wc. don't mind the layout of this idk what else to do...
You watch your girlfriend stream her game from your fluffy and comfortable spot on your shared bed—you observe how focused she was on her screen, how her skilled fingers were flying across the keyboard and mouse. It would certainly be a shame to disturb her in such a high tension moment but you think it over, running your finger over the small buttons of the sleek little remote in your hand.
"Yeah, yeah, got 'em! Look at that guys, I fuckin’ aced that!" Ellie rejoices in her victory, and gleefully boasts to her viewers, adjusting her microphone closer and leaning back in her chair.
You're glad you were far off camera, her fans didn't even know she was in a relationship—Ellie made it clear she wanted you to be separate from her hobbies, not because she wanted to keep you a secret, but because she wanted to keep you safe. And you enjoyed watching her stream from the sidelines like this, you saw how her personality captivated viewers and how much fun she really was. But you also enjoyed messing with her on the occasion. Like today.
"Can I watch tonight's stream again?" You asked her eagerly. "Yeah, why not? I'll be doing some tournaments and stuff though, so no distractions." Oops. You bit back a laugh. Ellie immediately sussed out the mischievous look on your face and she sighed, expecting the worst.
Then you showed her the box you've been hiding, "Please let's try, I won't click it too much, I promise." She stared at you for a whole minute, maybe more, before sighing and reluctantly agreeing, rubbing her hands all over her face. "God, fine. Just 'cause I love you. Damn you're evil."
Fast forward to now—the device was snugly inserted inside her pretty pussy, tested out to prove it does in fact work, and works well at that.
So off Ellie went to play her game, getting so caught up in everything she seemingly forgot about the device entirely. In between games she was talking to the viewers, reading the chat and joking back and forth. You decided it was a good enough time to click it so you pressed the button, only for a miniscule zap.
She jerked in her seat, gasping, but quickly recovered with a strategic cough. "Phew sorry guys, something got caught in my throat." You saw a bright berry blush spread across her face, and the way she fought to turn and throw a glare at you. This was going to be fun.
"Alright, the next round’s gonna start, we gotta lock in! Hopefully nothing pops up and this goes smoothly. I can taste the win already.” She put a certain warning tone to her voice in the last part of her sentence, you knew it was meant for you, but were you going to listen? Absolutely not. "Oh yeah chat fun fact, this old area of the map was inspired by ancient ruins just of—ah!" As if her body had a mind of its own, she squirmed in her seat and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a moan when you hit it again, but this time you didn't turn it off right away. You kept it going for a few more seconds, to prolong the terribly delicious sensation.
She screwed her eyes shut tightly and held her breath until you turned it off, mumbling to her viewers about "having hiccups". "The game is starting now, so we really gotta get serious." Her voice had an unsteadiness to it only you could hear, she was keeping her composure rather well so far. But likely wouldn't be able to keep up the act for much longer. Even she has her limits.
As her match went on, she got quiet when she was focused, mashing the keys with a speed fast as sound. Of course, you hit it again, just a short one, causing a choked "guh" to escape from her lips and she twitched when you did so, her facade starting to crack. The effort to keep her voice stable was showing, she was huffing and struggling to get her words out clearly, they were laced with obvious irritation.
"Fuck missed the shot, dammit. Yeah I don't know, somethings up today, sorry guys...off my game." You decided to be nice to her until the game ended, not pressing it further or adjusting the intensity. She played for a little while longer before losing the match, leaning forward on the desk with her face in her hands. This was the perfect moment, so you cranked it up, increased the intensity to maximum, and held the button for the longest time yet, making her whine—a low, drawn out sound she couldn't stifle this time.
You could hear lots of messages being sent, pings in rapid succession, they were probably clipping that moment. Perverts, you thought.
Her chest was noticeably heaving up and down, her legs spread as she rocks her front against the chair, and she kept her head lowered until you decreased the intensity but didn't turn it all the way off. Her hands were shaking, and her face was a vibrant cherry red, the screen even reflected the sparkle of a couple tears in her eyes.
“What? Oh, I'm just so sad about the loss guys, we were so close—hnn- so…so closeahh—I mean, we should've gotten that…” She trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip and tapping her fingers on the desk’s wooden surface. “Y’know what, I'll be right back.” She paused the stream, made triple sure her camera and microphone were turned off, then whipped around in her chair to face you, glaring silver daggers your way.
You just giggled innocently and turned the device off again. “What the fuck is wrong with you, this shit is not- not light on you at all.” Her voice was breaking, her pretty features contorted in a beautifully needy expression, eyebrows furrowed and eyes all watery. Nearly as wet as the mess in her pants. You feigned innocence and shrugged at her, “Well I didn't know it was that strong.” “You knew damn well.” She's fed up with your antics, but you have fun playing with her. She covers her face and leans back in the chair, the embarrassment in her voice the only thing you could hear, “Fuck you...turn it up again, wanna cum.”
You couldn't contain the laugh that burst forth from your chest, then said, “Only if you stream it.” The shock that flickered across her face was priceless, you wish you could have snapped a photo.
“What the fuck do you mean by that, nah forget it.”
“Hey, you gotta finish your stream either way, they're waiting. Would you wanna be so awful and deprive those darlings of your presence?”
You flash her a sugary smile, and she shoots you a murderous look again, before wordlessly scooting back to her setup, fanning herself briefly and readjusting her coppery hair.
Then she turns the stream back on. “Sorry guys, I had to get up for a second. Anyway, let's play one more game. I'm getting kinda tired today. Let's make this one count, lock in like never before.” She takes a deep breath, cracks her knuckles, and begins smacking away at the keyboard buttons. You're able to see the way she looks tense, on edge, anticipating your devilish interruption.
You debate whether you should torture her, but the answer quickly becomes clear. Click.
“Ah—fuck!” She sputters, and roughly slams her fist on the desk. The pleasure was hitting her with full force, she was in her own, lewd, world now. Her head is thrown back, back arched and hips stuttering, the release was about to sneak up on her.
You watch the scenario unfold, licking your lips and pressing your thighs together to deal with the pressure between them. Her unapologetic moans get louder, but for a second she snaps out of the trance to sit back upright, turn the stream off, before the peak hits her like a truck.
“Holy, fu—hah!!” With a squeal she cums, not caring about how fucking loud she was being, wanting to be selfishly absorbed in ecstasy.
She started to jolt around in her seat, the throes of overstimulation making her whimper like an animal in heat, it truly was a sight to behold. You wish you were in between her legs, lapping up her sweetness straight from the source, but in a way, just watching from the sidelines was satisfying enough. You'll clean her up afterward.
Finally you turned it off once and for all, and gazed at her, she was panting heavily, the post-orgasm glow making her rosy skin shimmer in the low light.
“Hmmm, thanks babe, that was so good…” She tried to talk, her head was in the clouds, but she looked at peace.
“You're a whore.” You chortled, and you two shared a laugh.
Although, a flurry of shrill sounds brought you both out of the fantasy. Ping, ping, ping.
Unfortunately she wasn't able to enjoy the aftermath of a mind-numbing session, because her eyes shot open and she began scrambling to find the source of the sound. Your stomach dropped as you watched her panic, her neuroticism infectious.
She looked at you, her eyes wider than saucers, nothing but fear in her voice, “I wasn't able to turn my mic off…”
What was she going to do now?
if you'd like to be tagged in my fics, click here! thank you for reading. asks, reblogs, and comments are appreciated more than you know. ♡
tags: @andersonfilms @ch6douin @aouiaa @sapphic-ovaries @astro-cat2 @paqerings @r3starttt @littlefallenangel111 @sinfulprayerss @lvlymicha @sunnsh1ine @anniee333 @pinkcwake @marsworlddd @caszzine @saturnsdrafts @ashaynep @mascdom @xysbree @liddysflyer @fortune777 @brunaedn @bunnitewsilly @mimasroom2 @deliriousrn @infiniteinquiries @thekill3randthefinalgirl @kissyslut @elliesapple
#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie tlou#the last of us 2#lesbian#tlou#ellie the last of us 2#ellie#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie smut#sub!ellie#gamer!ellie#tlou smut#the last of us part 2#the last of us smut#the last of us#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams drabble#ellie williams concept#ellie williams the last of us#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#ellie williams x reader smut#ellie williams x you#𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬.#𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬.
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Heyy i dont exactly know how to write request So im trying to do it like this i guess?..
Andd i would really like if you could do like heian sukuna nsfw? When its like morning, And reader wakes up to sukuna kissing her neck?
Pretty please 😞🩷
YES MA'AM HAHAHAH YESSSS this is gonna be true form sukuna btw... cus im kinda feral for him.
❝ use your words ❞
summary: you look so fucking cute when you're sleeping.
featuring... ryomen sukuna
content warning: MDNI (18+), fem!reader, slight somnophilia, true form sukuna, two dicks sukuna, double penetration oh god, ass play, anal (im sorry but im also not), fingering, anal fingering, spitting, cuddlefucking then doggy, choking, hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie (naughty naughty) rough sex, spanking, squirting, heian era sukuna, possessive sukuna, toxic relationship maybe?, biting, marking, swears?, size kink!, dirty talk, overstimulation, hand mouth oh lord.
author's note: FERAL I AM FERAL– IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY IM SORRY ANON
Sukuna finds it hard to resist you in this state.
He's not sure what it is about you. Perhaps the way your soft lips part as little breaths fan across his arm under your head, or maybe it's the way your yukata parts, showing the gentle swell of your breasts, your chest rising and falling slowly as you breathe.
He tends to just watch you when you're like this. Revel in the way your smaller body presses against his stocky build, how your small hands are clutched around his thick wrist.
He likes the power he has over you, how could he not? You're so fucking cute and innocent and it drives him mad.
You have no idea the effect you have on him, but you can sure feel it when he presses it against your clothed ass when you're busying yourself with chores or getting ready for your day.
Sukuna is always stalking around nearby, keeping a watchful eye (or eyes) on you. You're a good girl, you behave yourself, always willing and ready to please him. That's what he keeps you around for after all.
Because no one can compare to you.
Sukuna struggles to be gentle with you most of the time. Always grabbing and pulling and manhandling you into whatever position he wants you in.
But when you're sleeping so soundly beside him, your little ass wriggling against his hips and your eyelashes resting atop your cheeks, he almost wants to be gentle to keep you asleep.
One of Sukuna's hands rests on your waist, fingers slipping beneath the fabric of your loose yukata to touch your tummy. You're so warm and so cute.
He lifts his head, licking his lips as his eyes catch the soft skin of your neck and shoulder. He can't help himself, pressing a soft kiss to your neck, lips grazing over the numerous love bites in various stages of healing over your pretty skin.
You whine in your sleep, eyes screwing shut at the feeling of his lips across your sensitive neck.
"Shhh, shhh," he coos against your ear, another one of his hands pulling your yukata open, exposing your pretty tits to the cool night air.
Your little hands tighten around his forearm and he smirks against your neck. Another one of his lower arms moves down your exposed body toward your unclothed cunt, still wet and soft from earlier in the night.
His graze your wet heat, cunt still glistening with slick, just the way he likes to leave you.
Sukuna's lower arm snakes around your thigh, gently lifting your outer leg over his thick thigh, pressing his tight muscles against your unclothed heat.
"'Kuna?" your voice comes out in a tired whine, still quiet and laced with sleep.
"Go back to sleep, little one," he mutters against your ear, pressing a kiss to the underside of your jaw.
"Mm–" you hum, your hand grabbing at his large hand splayed over your tummy.
Sukuna finally presses his rough fingers against your clit, already swollen and red, begging for his attention. You let out a whiny moan at the feeling, your hand coming up to thread through Sukuna's hair as he kisses and bites at your neck.
"S'wet for me," he teases, grinning against your neck as your slick leaks out of you and onto his fingers, allowing him to quicken his pace against your little clit.
"Mm, 'Kuna, please," you whine, humping and grinding your hips against his thick, strong thigh.
"S'needy," his voice is low but he gives in to you, pressing his thick fingers into your little hole. You're only taking two of his fingers to the first knuckle and you're so tight. "Relax, little one. I can't give you what you want if you don't relax."
You do your best, releasing the tension in your thighs and letting Sukuna plunge his fingers into your gummy walls.
You throw your head back, allowing Sukuna to nip at your skin, your neck glistening with saliva from his wet kisses.
Sukuna's fingers are big and long, always able to reach parts of you that you could never reach with your own fingers, not that you ever have to anymore with how attentive Sukuna can be (more like he's always ready to fuck you good if you just say the word).
Sukuna lifts his thigh, pulling your legs further apart to fuck your little cunt open with his fingers, his fingers curling against the spongy spot inside you before scissoring you open to get you ready for him.
Sukuna isn't the type to get you off with just his fingers. He likes to, getting a fucking ego boost from the fact he can make you fall apart using just his hands.
But where's the fun in just getting you off?
"That's it, brat," he smirks, your slick dripping down the inside of your thighs and coating Sukuna's hand. "Always such a good girl f'me."
Sukuna manifests a mouth on his palm, a tongue sticking out to flick over your neglected clit. You whine loudly, your hand grabbing at his wrist because it's just too much. It feels too good.
Sukuna clicks his tongue, "mm-mm, little one. You're gonna take it, hm?"
It's not a question, it's a command.
His upper arm grabs at your hand, lifting it away from his lower wrist to pin it above your head.
Your thighs shake and your tummy burns as the tongue and fingers between your legs send you hurtling over the edge of bliss, your head throwing back with a loud moan, tears pricking the corners of your eyes and he fingers fucks you through your high.
"'Kuna-! P-Please," you cry out, thighs attempting to squeeze together as his fingers and tongue begin to overstimulate you.
"What's that, little one? Please what?" he's teasing you. Trying to embarrass you and make you beg.
"Fuck me," you whine, "please, please–"
"You think you deserve it? Going to bed with no panties? Sleeping in this thin little thing," he emphasises by rubbing your hardened nipple over the thin fabric of your yukata. "you wanted this, hm?"
"I always want you, 'Kuna," you let out a breathy sigh, "always wanna be ready f'you."
He smirks against your skin, "such a good little girl."
Sukuna suddenly rolls you onto your tummy, lifting your yukata over your ass (which is still red with bites and slap marks from the night before).
You help him as he uses his lower arms to lift your hips up, propping your ass up against his hardened clothed cocks.
"Feel what you do to me, little one?" he smirks, rolling your hips against his. "you have no shame."
You press your face into the sheets below, hands gripping the fabric as Sukuna kneads the flesh of your cute little ass.
Your back arches when Sukuna runs the pad of his thumb over the tight ring of muscles that is your little asshole. You're always so responsive to him, he's sure he'll never get enough of you.
"Such a whore having your little ass played with," his voice is low and god he likes teasing you because it's so easy.
"'Kuna," you whine as he circles your little asshole, your cunt spasming and throbbing without even being touched.
Sukuna leans over you, letting a glob of spit fall from his mouth and onto your tight rim. You moan at the coolness of it, resting your forehead against your forearm to attempt muffling your moans.
Sukuna chuckles lowly at you before pressing his thumb into your ass, just to the first knuckle, but enough for you to grip the sheets and pant at the burning stretch.
He's done this before, you've let him fuck your ass countless times but you'll never be able to get over how fucking good it feels to have him stretch you open.
Sukuna's upper arms are gripping your hips to keep your from squirming away from his touch while his lower hands play with you. One of them with a thumb in your ass while the other kneads at your asscheek and spreads you open.
He takes it slow at first, but Sukuna is not known for patience.
He presses the rest of his thumb into your ass, unable to resist a chuckle as you moan and cry into the pillows. He pumps his thumb in a few times before he pulls it out, letting you relax for half a moment before his fingers, still wet from the slick of your orgasm, press into your asshole to stretch you open for his thick cock.
"Mm– F-Fuck–" you curse, fist scrunching into the sheets.
One of Sukuna's upper hands suddenly grips your hair, pulling you up against him harshly, your thighs quivering.
"M'gonna fuck your little ass and your pussy at the same time, can you handle that f'me, little one?"
You nod your head without thinking, feeling Sukuna's thick fingers inside you making you absolutely dizzy.
"Mhm-! I can do it," you cry out, his other hand coming up to wrap around your pretty throat, squeezing softly.
"Mm, good girl, I know you can do it," he grins, finally letting go of your hair and your throat to force you back down onto the mattress.
Sukuna finally pulls his fingers out of your ass and shrugs off the yukata draped over him, letting his hard, leaking cocks spring free, his upper cock slapping against his toned abdomen.
You peer behind you and watch as Sukuna pumps his upper cock, the tip red, leaking and angry.
You gulp back the spit pooling in your mouth, your pupils dilated as you peer up at his toned, tattooed body with those cute little eyes.
"I'll start gentle, baby girl," he smirks, already reading your mind with how you eye his cock closely.
He'll start gentle. Key word is start.
Sukuna grips his upper cock, his free hand spreading your slick over his cock to make it easier to push into your tight ass.
You let out a choked moan when he presses his tip against the tight ring of muscles, slowly easing his tip inside you. You cry and whine against the mattress as Sukuna eases into you.
"Shh, shh, you want the whole country to know what a whore you are for my cocks?" Sukuna coos, hands gripping your hips.
You don't know what fucking planet you're on when Sukuna finally bottoms out inside your ass, feeling every ridge and vein of his heavy cock.
"Told you to relax," Sukuna grunts, landing a hard smack! to your ass.
"M'trying," you cry, tears slipping down your flushed cheeks, "just s'big, 'Kuna."
Sukuna smirks and chuckles before pulling half way out and slamming his hips back in, your plush ass rippling against his hips.
Your thighs quiver and shake, back arching as Sukuna slowly and achingly pumps his thick cock into your ass, trying to loosen you just a little so he can fuck you into oblivion.
You nearly fucking scream when he lifts his other cock tip to your wet little cunt, pressing the tip inside you.
You feel so fucking full.
Sukuna fucks the air out of you when he sheathes both of his cocks into your snug little ass and cunt. You feel fucking dizzy, like your head will explode with how full of him you feel.
He's stretching you open and it burns but fuck it feels so good.
He lets you adjust for a moment, feeling your holes clench around him, so tight it might snap his cocks clean off.
"Feels good, huh?" He knows it feels good, your body is telling him everything he needs to know.
From how your cunt drips, slick running down your thighs, coating his cock and soaking the blankets below you. From how you pant and cry and whine like the little crybaby you are. He makes you feel so fucking good and it goes straight to his head.
"M'gonna move, little one. You gonna take it?"
You nod your head, panting against the mattress.
"Words," he commands, yanking on your hair again. "Use your words."
You bite at your lip, the burn in your skull from how hard he's gripping your hair would be awful if you weren't so tragically into it.
"I wan' you to move," you pant out, "please, 'Kuna."
He smirks at the little nickname before letting go of your hair to wrap his thick hand around your throat, squeezing softly as he pulls almost all the way out before slamming his hips back in.
Sukuna sets a brutal pace, your ass sore and red from how hard his hips slam against it. Your hands don't know what to grab so you grab at his hand around your throat.
Sukuna is strong enough to hold you up with just an arm, he's always been stronger than you with how he manhandles and carries you around.
His hands are all over you, gripping your hip, another gripping your throat, another circling your clit while his last free hand gropes at your bouncing tits.
Sukuna loves to overstimulate you, he loves how fucked out and stupid you get when you can't take all the pleasure he's giving you.
So he manifests mouths on all his hands, tongues flicking over your clit and nipples and throat. You scream out a choked moan, eyes rolling back in your head at the feeling of Sukuna everywhere.
His thick cocks split you open, pumping hard inside you and prodding at the most sensitive parts of you.
He bullies his cocks into you, the lewd skin on skin and squelches bouncing off the walls.
You're so damn loud and Sukuna can't get enough of it.
"M'gonna cum in your ass and cunt, little one. You want that?" He's teasing you again, he's gonna cum inside you no matter what, it's where his seed belongs, dripping from your little holes.
"Yes, yes-! I wan' it," you choke out.
"Good, cus I'm gonna fuck you full."
If he could fuck you any harder you'd say it was impossible, but Sukuna was never one to be strapped down by such absurdity.
Sukuna fucks you harder, tip prodding against your cervix while the other reaches deeper and deeper into your ass. He's groaning and grunting behind you, muttering about what a good girl you are while teasing you about being a whore for him.
You feel your belly burn but it feels different this time, a pressure building in your lower belly that hurts.
"W-Wait, 'Kuna– Something feels w-weird!"
Sukuna chuckles against your shoulder, biting down on the skin, "just let it happen, little one, 's gonna feel so good."
"Mm, b-but–" you cut yourself off with a moan as you feel something snap.
You gush hard around Sukuna's cocks, crying out as you squirt all over his lower abdomen, his thighs, your thighs and the blankets.
Sukuna can only laugh as he fucks you through your high, hands gripping your hips to slam you back to meet his thrusts.
"That's it, baby girl, s'good," he grunts out as he feels his own release crash into him, spurting hot ropes of his cum against your gummy walls.
You go limp as he continues to fuck you through his own high, fucking you so full of his cum that it slips out of your tight holes and down your legs.
Sukuna finally stops, cocks throbbing inside you as he lets go of your throat, allowing you to pant and whimper against the blankets.
"Hah, s'good, brat," he groans, finally pulling out of you with a quiet pop!
You whimper at the emptiness, your holes still spasming as his thick cum leaks out of you.
"Hah, that's a sight."
You feel like you're floating, your ass still in the air as you pant, attempting to catch your breath.
Sukuna stands up, disappearing somewhere before lifting your head.
You're covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your baby hairs sticking to your skin and your eyes tired and fucked out.
Sukuna's fingers rest under your chin as he eyes you.
"You did good, brat," he praises.
You smile tiredly before he leans down to press the softest kiss to your lips, something that is entirely rare for Sukuna.
"Yeah..." he mutters against your lips, "you did good, but you're not done."
Sukuna smirks against you before letting go of your chin and gripping the base of his still-hard upper cock. Your little doe eyes meet his and he raises a brow expectantly before pressing the tip to your lips.
"Well? Open up, little one."
author's note: i'm so bricked up. happy 1,000 followers!!!
#oh lawd heaven isnt an option now#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#x reader#jjk megumi x reader#jjk smut#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#jjk sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#jjk sukuna smut#sukuna#true form sukuna#true form sukuna smut
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⋆౨ৎ˚ ──── 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐔𝐒𝐄.
it's been on your mind for a while now. and, even though he's a little confused at first, it takes satoru very little time to warm up to your enticing offer.
დ content. fr3e use kink, cursing, female!reader, fingering, vaginal sex, creampie, consensual somnophilia, deepthroating, cum-swallowing, mentions of satoru eating it from the back <3
დ notes. second attempt at posting this on tumblr, don't mind me. it's crossposted on ao3 bc my previous attempts at posting all failed miserably (it never showed in the tags ://)
Satoru is confused. It doesn’t take you much time to notice that your softly spoken words have him quite rattled, as the results of them can so clearly be observed on his face. There’s his nose that scrunches up cutely, and a little tilt of his head to the left which comes accompanied by a few snowy strands of hair shifting across his forehead. A small furrow of his brows, the soft gnawing on his bottom lip. He’s thinking about it; mulling over your offer.
Three times, he tries to say something. His mouth opens once, twice, and it’s futile. Not a word escapes, and he takes a sharp intake of breath. You almost believe that, if you weren’t currently seated opposite him, he’d smack the side of his head a few times to make sure it’s still screwed on right.
“So, I just. . .” The third time really is the charm, it seems. Though, he never quite manages to finish what he was going to say.
“Just put it in, yeah.”
You finish it for him, you’re sweet like that. It does really seem as if he could use the help.
“Wh—whenever I. . .”
There’s a little voice in your head, chiming and chattering about how all of this is weird. It makes you nervous, and your fingers itch to play with your necklace to fight it.
“Whenever you want,�� you confirm. It’s as if your heart has suddenly moved to your throat.
“Wha—what if you’re asleep?”
“I said whenever you want, didn’t I?”
He almost lets out a little squeak at the words you so casually give him. They surprise him, as they do you. Your last sentence wasn’t one spoken by your mind, and you shift in your seat as if it’d shush the part of you that did.
It’s as if you’re telling him what you’d eaten for breakfast this morning, not giving him permission to slip, bully and sheat his cock into your needy cunt at any given time of the day. Without needing to ask, too. Satoru can fill you up, stuff you full, and dump so much of his cum into you until you’re overflowing, and he can do it whenever he feels the need to—because he’s Satoru, and you love your Satoru.
“Are you sure?” He asks, a hint of apprehension laces his voice. Your heart almost swells at his concern, at his hesitancy and need to confirm your wishes; even if you’ve vocalised them so bluntly. “Maybe, think about it for a little long—”
“I have,” you interrupt him. As gentlemanly as he’s being, there’s no mistaking the darkening of his eyes. The pretty, baby-blues making way for something sinister. You suddenly don’t feel so nervous anymore. “I have thought about it. Way too much, and for way too long.”
A string of curse words tumble past his lips. They’re hushed, and quick, and from the way he, too, shifts in his seat you gather that he’s hard. Painfully so, if the bulge forming in his pants is anything to go by. Your relationship has existed long enough for you to know that drops of his pre-cum are staining the fabric of his boxers already—always so messy, your Satoru. The mere thought has you wanting to take him out, to put him in your mouth and lap at the sticky, white beads falling down his length.
“Please,” you plead softly, and watch how he stifles a groan at the needy, saccharine sound of it. You want more, more of that sound. Right next to your ear, preferably. “Use me, Satoru.”
There’s little you want more than that, little that arouses you more than that. The thought of Satoru taking you whenever he wishes, abiding by his whims and allowing him free-reign over your body—it instils a heat into your stomach, into your core. It makes you feel filthy, like a cheap whore picked up from the street; but you’d be his whore, and suddenly it all starts to feel like a dream. It’s Satoru. Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. He’ll be gentle, and he’ll be kind, and he’ll stop as soon as you utter your safeword, and he’ll love you so much, even if he fucks you as if he doesn’t.
You have half a mind to ask him again, to plead, to beg for it again, as it almost feels as if he didn’t quite hear you. But, as soon as you open your mouth to do so, he immediately latches his lips onto yours. It’s messy, and sloppy, and entirely fueled by the frantic state his mind is currently in—but you don’t complain, and never will.
His hands are everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and you feel him almost buzzing with excitement. Your teeth clash against one another at the force of the kiss, your tongues greedily seek the other out, and saliva gets swapped from your mouth to his, and vice versa. It’s dirty, and sticky, and almost brings you back to your high-school years, when he’d been all clumsy hands and feigned confidence on the night you’d lost your virginity to each other.
Satoru pulls back from your kiss first, and a small smile falls over his lips when he notices you chasing him. “Wait a minute, sweets,” he murmurs, forehead against yours. His breathing is heavy, as is yours, and you don’t want to wait a minute—you want him, now, tomorrow, and each day after that. “Are you. . .” He chuckles when you kiss him again, and again, and again. You only stop when he holds your head in place. “Are you completely sure about this?”
You blink up at him, eyes wide and lips swollen. “Mhm,” you hum, and caress his cheekbone with one of your thumbs. Satoru melts in your hold, as he always seems to do. “‘S you, ‘Toru. I’m completely sure when it’s you.”
He lets out a shaky breath. There’s a storm of emotion behind his eyes, but all of them point to the same conclusion—he loves you. So much, you might even get sick of it one day; he’d told you as a joke, one born out of fear. But you won’t. You never will. And you think he’s starting to realise it, finally.
“Okay,” he whispers, and kisses your forehead.
It’s delicate, and loving, and so opposite from the way he buries himself into you over, and over, and over again a mere five minutes after that. Satoru’s needy, and impatient, and so pent-up from your previous conversation that foreplay gets thrown out of the window.
He bends you over the couch first, that cute little ass of yours jiggling right in front of his face as he mounts you from behind. He slips in easily, with a pussy as wet as yours, and a cock as leaky and hard as his—the lack of foreplay almost goes unnoticed. Almost, of course, as the sheer size of him never fails to elicit a hint of a burn as he stretches you out. Nevermind that you take his cock daily, or that your walls are bound to carry his shape after the many years you spend with him.
The sounds that decorate your apartment are filthy, lewd, and borderline obscene, but you’re thoroughly obsessed with them. The slapping of his balls against your ass, the squelching with each passing thrust, the deep groans and choked whimpers Satoru releases next to your ear just like you wanted. Even your own moans, your own babbles, and your own whines add to the experience; the combination of sounds. And you love it, because it’s you, and it’s Satoru—and it’s the two of you together.
It doesn’t end after Satoru cums, nor does it after you do. The agreement between the two of you that was made tonight seems to have done a number on him, and he takes you a second time. On the balcony, where he puts you on display for the world to see as he fills you over and over again. And a third time, in your shared bed that’s never been safe from his affection and blatant desire towards you. And a fourth time, in the shower that was initially meant to clean you up, he decides to dirty you even further.
If this is the reaction he gives to the mere idea of using you whenever he pleases, you long for the time that he actually does.
It’s well past midnight when Satoru finally decides he’s done with you. You’re curled into his side, a shirt that’s way too large for you (but one that you swore you didn’t steal from him) covers your figure. You’re asleep. Tired, exhausted, and completely knocked out. He smiles. You’re so cute. A love-sick expression is stuck to his face, and it may very well become permanent if he stays looking at you.
One of his fingers reaches in-between your thighs, gently scooping up the remnants of his release. Satoru almost coos at the way your nose scrunches up cutely when he starts to finger it back into your pussy. It allows his digits to slip easily through your folds, and she sucks them in as soon as he reaches your hole. His cum doesn’t leak out this time. Not yet, anyway, but even if it does, he’s more than willing to repeat the process.
He sighs. Mind full of thoughts, but at least his balls are empty now. There’s a little huff escaping his lips, and he’s amused at his own comment. Satoru shakes his head, but the small smile remains nonetheless. Strong, yet gentle arms pull your body tighter against him.
You’re delicate, and sweet, and so precious to him; and he will do his best to take care of you. Use me, use me, use me. He kisses your forehead, his own eyes falling shut.
He will most certainly try to.
The very first time Satoru entertains the idea of indulging in your offer, is on a day where you’ve decided to wear his favourite lipgloss. It’s so shiny, such a cute shade, and makes you look so beautiful, but above all—it’s sticky. It’s sticky, and easily smudged, and he knows from experience that everything feels so much filthier when he steals a kiss from you with it on.
Without meaning to, thoughts of you wrapping those glossed lips around his dick, creating a mess made-up of spit, cum, tears, and thus that delightful stickiness from your lipgloss, enters his mind. The coloured shade will leave a perfect ring around his length, there’s no doubt in his mind. Your pretty face will be all dirty, smudged stains near the corners of your mouth courtesy of his fat cock. You will be a sight for sore eyes.
You’re talking to him, but Satoru can’t seem to listen. He’s enamoured by your lips, your soft-looking, plumb, and very glossed lips. He briefly feels pathetic, knowing that a mere make-up item has the ability to make his head spin to such a degree—but he doesn’t, as he quickly realises it only does so because it’s you that’s wearing it.
Fuck, he really wants to stuff his cock into your mouth.
Five, six, almost seven seconds pass before the realisation kicks in. If he wants to put his cock in your mouth, then he can. Satoru’s body moves on its own before he gets a chance to think about his actions, as is often the case with him, and it's not long before his large hand finds its new home on the back of your head. He falters briefly, watching how you quiet down, how your eyes widen slightly, but continues as he’s doing when you make absolutely no move to stop him when he gently guides your head down, and down, and down—until you’re right where he wants you.
A small gasp leaves your lips when he puts you on eye-level with his crotch. It’s quiet, and he almost didn’t hear it, but it makes him pause nonetheless. The hand on your head loosens its grip, and he hesitates as he looks down at you.
“Is this oka—”
The sentence never gets finished, forever interrupted by a sharp hiss as you take his cock out of his pants with such unabashed eagerness. It slaps against his abdomen, leaky tip staining the fabric of his shirt. Your previous conversation is all but forgotten, it seems, as you don’t waste a second in taking his hard, aching length almost entirely into your mouth. It all happens so quickly, and Satoru’s mind almost can’t keep up. All he did was think about filling your mouth, and now he’s actually doing it; the fat tip prodding near the back of your throat.
His hands are shaky, he notices, and so is his breathing as a small whine escapes when one of your hands goes downwards to play with his balls. “Fuck!” he curses, caught by surprise at the boldness with which you reached for that part of him. In his startle, his hands return to the back of your head, and your words make their impromptu return to the very front of his mind.
Use me.
He will, then.
Satoru isn’t at all gentle when he does. His fingers tangle into your hair, and he pushes you down onto his cock until your nose brushes against the soft, white hairs near his pelvis. Your poor little mouth is struggling, he can see, but he can’t seem to pay much mind to it; the sounds of you gagging around his thick length are too much of a pleasure to hear. The way he pushes you up-and-down nears the realm of brute force, and still you eagerly suck, and suck, and suck.
A particularly loud groan echoes through the room when he steals a glance at your small form kneeling between his legs. It seems he knows you well; you are a sight for sore eyes like this. There are tears in your eyes, and some of them have already fallen down your hollowed cheeks; hollowed, to make space for him. Your mouth is filled to the brim with his cock, and even though he can see you fighting for breath, you never make an attempt at catching it—as if you wouldn’t dare to deprive him of the please your throat gives him.
Satoru catches himself falling in love all over again.
He fucks your face harder, and harder, and harder the closer he gets to the edge. Deep groans, and slurred curse words join your symphony of muffled moans, and his hold on your head slowly starts to falter.
“‘M close, princess,” he mumbles, but that’s about all the warning he gives you. A few seconds later, he cums down your throat. He doesn’t ask, he doesn’t need to. Not because you’d given him permission to use you as he sees fit, but simply because he knows you’re utterly obsessed with him doing so. “Fuck, f—fuck, look a’you, hm? Gonna take all of it like a good girl? Don’t waste it, m’kay? S’all for, fuck, for you.”
It’s something he’s done countless times before, but Satoru swears that each time he spills his cum down your throat feels better than the last. Thick, sticky ropes fill your mouth, and you hum around him when it keeps going, and going, and going. You’re struggling to take it all, and he huffs in amusement when bits of it start to drip down your chin. His thumb catches it, and he quickly places it back in your mouth, forcing you to open it wider to accommodate both the digit and his slowly softening cock. You happily do so.
He pulls out of you shortly after, with his chest heaving as he recuperates. His entire focus is on you, you, and you as he watches you wipe your mouth and swallow the last of his seed. There’s a smile on your face. It’s kind, and gentle, and innocent; almost as if he hadn’t just fucked your mouth and dumped his release down your throat. Satoru is utterly bewitched as he watches you, captivated by all and every little thing you do, and he cooperates as you tuck him back into his pants.
And then, as if nothing at all happened, you sit down next to him again—and you speak, you continue talking, finishing the story he’d interrupted with his need to be sucked off. Your voice is hoarse, and your cheeks are still stained with dried tears, but you pay neither of those facts any mind. It makes all of this look so. . . mundane. You were speaking, and then you were between his legs, and now you’re speaking again.
Satoru’s heart starts to beat even faster for you. Fuck, that’s so hot. This time, he decides to try his very best to listen to your tale about some co-worker of yours that pissed you off this week. He pitches in every-now-and-then, adding a low ‘huh,’ or ‘mhm’ to keep you occupied, and he almost feels guilty—guilty, because all his adrenaline-filled mind can think about are the future possibilities of using you.
“And, wanna know what’s the worst thing about the situation? It was my idea to get donuts for everybody! That harlot didn’t even want them initially.”
Satoru’s downward spiral is inevitable, and he finds himself falling victim to it more times than one would consider healthy in a mere seven days. He very quickly learns that he’s thoroughly obsessed with the notion that allows him to fill you up anywhere, and at any time. To him, it’s one of the highest honours.
There’s such confidence, such unwavering faith encompassed in your view of him. There has to be, if you’re willing to allow him such a thing. Thinking about it almost causes a cute pink hue to colour his cheek. . .you really do trust him a lot, huh?
He’s never been able to tell you ‘no’ before, and he certainly isn’t about to start. So, he dutifully listens to you and abides by your delectable request. To satisfy you, of course. There’s absolutely no other reason for his actions, and the way he breaches your dripping cunt with his leaky tip, all while soft breaths leave your lips, and your pretty eyes are peacefully shut, is simply to indulge you.
Use me. Use me. Use me.
Satoru curses, the crude words that tumble past his lips being plenty colourful. One of his hands settles on your hip whilst the other hikes your (or rather his) shirt up to provide him with better access. It’s your fault, really, that he’s currently sporting one of the hardest boners of the century. You were waiting for him, weren’t you? Waiting for him to return and bury himself to the hilt in that sweet, sobbing pussy of yours.
There’s no other reason for you to fall asleep with nothing but his shirt on. Not even panties covered your cute little cunt, your sticky folds fully on display and welcoming him home. Satoru wants to bury himself in it—in a multitude of ways if he’s being truly honest with himself. For now, though, he’ll stick to simply one.
“Shh,” he coos into your ear, delicately rubbing soft circles into your upper thigh with his thumb. You whine faintly, feeling his cock fight its way past your walls. He splits you open, stretching you just wide enough to slip inside. Your nose scrunches up cutely, and he almost rouses you from your slumber. “‘S me, really need you, baby.”
And that’s all he has to say. It’s me. It’s your Satoru. A gentle whisper of those words, and he gets to use you as he pleases. All of his previous worries, all of the near-boiling anger he felt at his previous meeting with the higher-ups washes away as soon as he sinks himself balls-deep into your pussy. Satoru groans deeply at the feeling, and gentle, stuttered declarations of love are babbled into your ear with each slow drag of his cock along your walls.
The garbled mesh of words that he deems too important not to say, even despite their poor enunciation, only ceases to exist a few minutes later—when he spills his heavy load into that sweet, sweet cunt of yours. No, into that sweet cunt of his. Because, that’s who it truly belongs to, no? It’s his, to use, to spoil, to worship. You’d offered it to him so kindly, after all. And, well, Satoru has never been the type of person to turn down a gift.
. . . You unknowingly create a monster. It seems that even the mere idea of being allowed to use you as he pleases has him tip-toeing around the line of borderline insanity. As each time he sees you, he wants you. . .and each time he wants you, you let him.
It doesn’t matter what you’re doing at that moment. Even if you’re speaking, and he suddenly feels the need, no, the simple want for a blowjob. And even if you’re asleep, resting after what must have been a long day, you still allow him to slip his aching cock into you to satisfy the craving he’s had for hours.
Even if you’re busy setting the table, you don’t push him away, and you still allow him to bend you over the wooden surface, to sink to his knees and lick, suck, and kiss around his pretty pussy with his tongue. Simply because he wants to do it, and you really do so, too.
. . .And even now, when you’re cooking dinner.
There’s a certain cuteness about the way your brows scrunch in concentration, about the way you gently bite on your bottom lip as you prepare the food for the two of you; it nearly makes him feel guilty for feeling the secret desire to ruin such a lovely, innocent view. The word nearly is important, however, as he’s acutely aware of your need for him to do exactly that—and so, any sense of wrongdoing melts away, similar to snow underneath the sun.
He’s not quite sure what it is that you’re cooking, but it smells delectable. There’s an array of spices, herbs, and vegetables strewn around the counter, and Satoru knows he’ll be eating like a King in a few minutes. As for right now, though, there’s a different craving, a different type of hunger slowly making its way forward. He fears it won’t be one that’ll be sated by your lovely culinary skills.
“Smells good, baby,” he mumbles. It doesn’t take him long to settle himself behind you, large hands gently coming to rest on your hips. He sighs in the crook of your neck, and nudges the skin with his nose. “What’cha making?”
You answer. He knows you do, as he feels the vibrations of your voice underneath his lips, the soft hum feeling quite soothing as he kisses along the column of your throat, but Satoru can’t find it in himself to focus on the words you give him. His ever-loose hands roam eagerly down your body, and the previous loving, and delicate kisses along your neck turn sloppy, wet, almost, as Satoru dips one of his hands underneath the waistband of your panties. There’s a grin forming on his lips, one entirely too big and full of confidence.
“‘M startin’ to think you’re just always wet for me, pretty girl,” he mumbles against the shell of your ear, fingers entirely coated in your slick the second he’d sunk them into your dripping cunt.
Your cheeks heat up, and you try to stifle a moan when he, so very, very slowly starts to move his fingers in-and-out of you. “I—I am,” you admit, and clench around his digits just as he’s about to take them out; as if it’s a last resort to keep them inside. “F’you, Satoru. Just for you.”
“Hm?” He hums, and almost huffs in amusement as he sees you trying to continue what you were doing so desperately, as if you weren’t being fucked on your husband’s fingers. Just for that—he rapidly thrusts his fingers back into you, harsher, deeper, and so much quicker. “Just for me, yeah, princess?”
“Y—Ah! Yes, yes,” you squeak, one of your hands seeking out some semblance of support from the kitchen counter. “Only for you.”
There’s an embarrassing sound hitting your ears, as each thrust of his absurdly long fingers is accompanied by your wetness squelching around them. You struggle to speak, to breathe almost, as he fucks you on his fingers. Satoru stretches you out, curling his fingers to find the spot he knows will leave you with those pretty tears falling down your cheeks, and to hit it over, and over, and over again.
There’s such a heat gathered between your legs, such a pleasurable source of warmth, and Satoru suppresses a groan as he’s once again made very aware of that fact when your walls clench around his digits. His cock twitches, and he lets out a shaky sigh as he grinds it against your ass. “You are, aren’t you? Hm? C’mon, baby, don’t be shy. . .be a little louder.”
You aren’t shy. You haven’t been for a while now. There’s a certain hotness in the way you moan so unabashedly, so utterly shamelessly whenever Satoru gets his hands on you in such a way—it’s as if you can’t ever get enough of him. It never fails to harden his cock even more, to make his balls feel achingly heavy until he ultimately empties them inside your tight little cunt. And you know so, which is exactly why you do it.
“‘M not,” you rasp out, one of your hands coming to rest on his wrist. The back of your head falls against his shoulder as you choke on a moan, seeking some very necessary aid to stay upright. “Please, I. . .’Toru, please.”
In all honesty, Satoru isn’t quite sure what you’re begging for. He knows it’s one of two options: either to cum on his fingers, or for him to push his thick cock inside your pussy already. There’s no desire to ask, however—he’d much rather make that decision himself. The hand that wasn’t currently burying three of its digits knuckle-deep into your pussy busies itself with his belt-buckle.
There’s a pitiful whine falling from your lips, one that’s released immediately upon the removal of his fingers from your cunt. “Shh,” he coos in your ear, instantly soothing your upcoming tantrum. You stifle the complaint you’d prepared for him, the feeling of his fat tip prodding near your too-eager hole quickly puts an end to it. “S’okay, pretty girl, just wanna feel you cum around my cock, s’all. . .Think you can do that for me?”
You nod, and rapidly so. “Mhm,” you hum, and open your mouth when he presents it with his soiled fingers. You clean them, suckling around them until each bit of your sweetness is gone. “Want to—really wanna cum around your cock, ‘Toru.”
“Of course, you do,” he breathes, and captures a quick kiss. And another. And another. And one more. It makes you smile, and that, in turn, makes him smile. When he does pull back, there’s as much love as there is lust dancing in his eyes. “Wouldn’t have expected anything less of you, princess.”
Satoru is often greedy. There’s no such thing as savouring something with him—if he’s enjoying himself, he’ll be as gluttonous as he wishes. The exception is you, of course, as you always are to him. There’s no greater feeling than savouring you. It’s why he, more often than not, decides to fill you up slowly. To let his cock drag along your walls, to let your soothing warmth engulf him inch, by inch, by inch, until his firm balls press up against your ass. He does so this time, too.
Your long, drawn-out moan as he fills you up slowly sounds as if it were gifted to him by the Heavens, and Satoru’s cock twitches inside when he hears you mutter a soft fuck as you struggle to adjust to him. It’s certainly not the first time you’ve taken his cock, but the sheer girth of him still stretches you out—as it always does. Your husband loves you dearly, however, and waits. . .one second, two seconds, three seconds, and he doesn’t get any further before his self-restraint falters.
Satoru nearly pulls himself out of your cunt completely, only for him to fuck himself back inside so deeply—it has you place both palms of your hands on the counter to steady yourself. It startles you, as he hears you choke on a moan, but he continues. His movements are quick and rough, animalistic even, as he pounds into your cunt.
“Sa—ngh, Satoru, wait, I. . .” You interrupt yourself with a moan, the feeling of his tip near your cervix too sharp for you to properly finish a sentence. He’s so deep. It feels as if he’s in your womb, in your stomach—it feels as if he’s everywhere. “Fuck, I. . .f—fuck, ‘Toru. . .”
“Hm?” He breathes out, a groan slipping past his lips. “Want me to, fuck, you. . .” His rapid movements dial down. The self-control needed for it is enormous, but you’d asked him to wait—so he will. Some beads of pre-cum drip into your cunt, as if his cock was upset that he’d suddenly slowed down. “Wan’me to go slower, baby?”
“No,” There’s a small whine near the end of your sentence. It’s the absolute last thing you wanted him to do, even if you originally asked him to wait. “No, don’t, please, keep going. Need—need more.” You feel Satoru wrap both hands around your hips, as if he’s preparing for something. “Harder, please. . .”
“Harder?” He asks, and you don’t need to see him to know there’s currently a sense of smugness ruining his pretty face. “How hard do you want it, huh, sweets?”
Little more than the tip remains inside you, and there’s not a moment for you to mourn the loss of his entire girth—as all air leaves your lungs when he immediately thrusts back into you with a newfound vigour, with such force that it has you bend over the kitchen counter.
“Like, ah, like this, huh? That how you want it, angel?”
You don’t answer—you’re not able to, as Satoru uses the entirety of his thick length to steal your ability to speak coherently. Once again, you’re acutely aware of the sheer size of your husband. Satoru is tall, and big, and he likely isn’t even aware of it. It certainly doesn’t seem so, as he heads no mind to the way your feet are starting to lift off the floor. Each deep thrust has you inching further up the counter; his hands on your hips nearly holding you up and off the floor as he rocks into you from behind.
There’s little you can do, except take it.
The kitchen is filled with sounds that definitely do not belong there. Your wetness is prominent, the sound of it borderline embarrassing, and Satoru’s balls slap against your skin with each thrust. He’s relentless, and you want to cry. The good kind of crying; the kind that often comes accompanied with mind-numbing pleasure. You hiccup, and sniff, and try your best to stabilise yourself against the counter.
Though, your efforts prove futile once Satoru brings one of his hands to your front. You choke on a whimper as he cruelly pinches your clit, toying with it, flicking and rubbing it in the way he knows will get you off.
“T—Toru,” you warn him. “I—I’m. . .”
“Mhm,” he hums in acknowledgement, not letting up even for a second. There’s a featherlight kiss pressed to your shoulder. “Me too, princess. S’okay, let, shit, let go for me, yeah?”
And because he’s Satoru—your Satoru, you comply. It hits you all at once, and you’re suddenly very grateful for both your husband holding you upright, and your expensive kitchen counter for adding some extra support. You’re still breathing heavily, coming down from your high, when Satoru hits his own. It’s a familiar feeling, but one you’ll never grow tired of nonetheless.
You sigh in content. His cum fills you up rapidly, and to the brim. It’s hot, and thick, and trickles out of you even with him still inside—simply because there’s so much of it. The both of you are out of breath, and because of it, choose to stay within each other’s hold for just a little while longer.
Satoru could—and would—stay in this position for the rest of his life. . .but he’s quite sure that you’ve put a lot of effort in today’s dinner and he doesn’t want it to be for naught. With a deep sigh and a quick kiss to your cheek, he goes against every fibre of his being, and pulls out of you.
A shiver trails down your spine when he does so, and you let out a soft sigh in content. You’re still recovering, he notices. There’s a trail of his cum dripping out of you, though he wastes little time to push it back inside. Satoru takes matters into his own hands, and decides to place your panties back into place for you, too. It gets soiled by his seed rather quickly, but that’s a problem for later.
After smoothing down your skirt, he tucks himself back into his pants, as well. He’s by your side as quick as he can, and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to your temple.
It’s only then that he properly takes notice of all the stuff that’s been thrown around the kitchen. Pots, pans, vegetables, spices. It seems you really were busy.
And, as if he hadn’t just finished fucking you silly, he smiles.
“So, what are you making?”
© MADE BY SANATOMIS — please, refrain from stealing, copying, or reposting any of my works.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#sigh here we go attempt 209401#please let it show in the tags this time#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader smut
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Nsfw Links
pairing :: Yuta x reader, Yuji x reader, Toge x reader, Megumi x reader, Sukuna x reader, Satoru x reader, Toji x reader, Choso x reader
warning :: aged up Yuta, Yuji, Toge, Megumi, some of these are moaning audios, grinding, handjobs, oral, Choso isn’t always sub, thigh fucking, public-ish, tummy bulge, somno in the Gojo one, teacher student relationship, soft Sukuna mostly, I hate rough sex lol, other sex stuff
note :: lazy asf post, but it gets the most traction
Yuta Okkotsu
thru his shorts — you’re so evil, you don’t even wait to take off his boxers before giving him a hand job. Yuta doesn’t seem to care, though, he’s still whimpering and moaning like always.
nothing makes him moan more than you — you and the feeling of your cunt grinding on top of him, that is.
Feral — Yuta barely ‘fucks’ you, he’s a make love kinda guy! But there’s times when he’s been so far away from you for so long that he just can’t help himself.
Yuji Itadori
we can do other stuff… — well shit, you’re not sure you’re ready to get fucked by him? That’s fine! He gets it, sex is scary. But you’re wet and he’s hard, so maybe he can just show you what’ll it be like?
thinking of you — ever since he fell head over heels for you Yuji can only get off to the image of you in his head. When he’s all alone and touching himself through his pants he imagines you doing it.
Fingering you — loves loves loves to see your back shift and arch when he hits the right spot. Especially with your ass on display for him.
bouncy — he’s so strong, sometimes Yuji doesn’t even realise he’s shoving you into the bed whilst rutting his hips into you.
putting it in — He’s thick and you’re so tight. He can barely get half his cock inside you, but shit he really fucking wants to.
Toge Inumaki
kiss it before you eat — before he digs into your folds, he presses delicate kisses to your cunt. He loves to feel you shivers under his mouth at the sweet sensation.
face to face — since Toge can’t talk it’s important you’re able to see his face. When it’s screwed up in pleasure, you know he’s enjoying himself.
once he starts he wont stop — don’t think just because you’re wriggling around and squirming that Toge with take his mouth away from his favourite meal.
Megumi Fushiguro
slowly, we’ll work our way up — sex doesn’t always immediately just happen between couples! You and Megumi were the type to work your way up to it. He still remembers the first time you sled naked and wet up and down his cock. He came so hard <3
listen to him moan — he really tries to hold it together whenever you do something to please him; like head or a handjob but you can hear the cracks in his voice as he crumbles under your touch.
gentle touches — he starts slow, rubbing you through your thong and kissing you before he pulls it to the side and slides his long fingers inside you.
Sukuna Ryomen
keep it shut — as much as Sukuna loves to hear your little whines and moans, sometimes he likes to hear it muffled against his large hands while he fingers you.
tied up — rope is basically vanilla in your relationship. Sukuna just loves to have your body restricted with easy access to his every whim.
you’re his toy to play with — He’ll toss you onto the bed and play with your pretty pussy whenever he wants to. With how many times he’s done, Sukuna’s practically better at getting you off than you are.
Satoru Gojo
coming home to you — Satoru’s days are long and hard. It doesn’t help when you (who he barely gets to fuck on a regular basis) sends him lewd photos and nasty messages about how much you miss him. You know he’s going to fuck you good when he gets home, that’s why you’re already wet when you hear the front door unlock.
just a quick break — you looked too fucking good at the party. How could he not pull you into the bathroom and hump himself into you until he cums? Maybe if you’re lucky, he won’t cum inside you (he will).
favourite student — being put on a mission together with your teacher sounded fine, but sharing a bed kinda crossed the line. Although when you wake up filled to the brim with Satoru moaning above you the line seems out of sight.
Too big, but he wont stop — he’ll just convince you, you like the pain of being stretched out by his cock. Your tight pussy feels too fucking good to let you have time to adjusted.
Toji Fushiguro
what else did you expect? — you wore a short skirt around him. Of course he’s going to force you onto his cock like you’re his favourite fucktoy (because you are his favourite).
tummy bulge — what’s more to say? He’s so big and always fucks you so deep.
eye contact — you know Toji loves to see you black out on his cock, see your eyes roll back as tears slip down your cheeks. Just keep fucking look at him.
let me hear it, doll — of course he likes to embarrass you, and what’s more embarrassing that calling him daddy whilst he play with your puss?
Choso Kamo
just the tip — sometimes you’re not up to taking the entirety of Choso’s length and he’s more than willing to compromise for you! After all, it hardly matters he’s not all the way inside you, he still cums just as hard.
he’ll always offer up his thigh — don’t think Choso is the only pathetic sub in your relationship. He loves to feel you work yourself up on his thigh, holding you in a thigh hug reassuring that he will fill you up. Eventually.
size difference — he can’t bear to have you even an inch away from him. He wants to hug you, so close, so tight. So much that you can’t even touch the floor.
in your hands — nothing, really, just jerking Choso off <3
#jjk#jjk x reader#Jjk smut#yuji itadori x reader#yuji x reader#itadori x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#yuta okkotsu x reader#yuta x reader#okkotsu x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader smut#toji x reader#toge inumaki x reader smut#toge inumaki x reader#inumaki x reader smut#inumaki toge x reader#choso x reader smut#choso kamo x reader#jjk x reader smut#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro x reader#inumaki x reader#toge x reader#choso smut
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LN4 | Happy Anniversary!
Summary: When Lando forgets the date of your anniversary, you can get over it. However, the pressure of his job isn’t a good enough reason to excuse all of his forgetful tendencies and lack of attention for you.
Based on this request!
Lando Norris x fem!Reader, established relationship
WC: 4.8K
Warnings: cursing, angsty, sad fic with happy ending
Masterlist
The soft morning sunlight peeks through the curtains of your bedroom, casting a soft rosy glow over the room. You take a deep breath, a gentle smile settling on your face at the realisation that it’s already been a year – a year of being loved, of sharing every thought and story, of new experiences and memories... One year of being married to the love of your life. It’s hard to believe.
You turn on your side to face your husband, propping your head on your palm as you watch him sleep peacefully. Your hand is softly stroking his chest while you smile with adoration. “Good morning, baby,” you say when you notice the change in his breathing.
Lando merely grumbles, not quite awake yet. Nevertheless, he pulls you closer to his side, letting you cuddle up against his warm body. Pressing your face against his chest, you leave a few kisses along the bare skin.
Lando sighs, stretching out his body. “Good morning, darling,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
You smile excitedly, sitting up to look at the handsome man you get to call your husband.
“Do you know what day it is?” You whisper.
Lando frowns as he wipes his tired eyes, “What day?”
The confusion is evident in his voice. Regardless, you nod excitedly. Your smile falters as you watch the wheels turning in his head, gathering that he doesn’t remember. You move to the bedside table, rumbling through the drawer until you find what you’re searching for.
The expression on Lando’s face changes from confusion to guilt when you proudly show the present you’ve wrapped up so neatly, the realisation settling in. “Fuck. It’s our anniversary today, isn’t it?”
You nod, “I got you a little something, to celebrate,” you clarify. The smile on your face is gentle, comforting, and it nearly makes Lando believe you don’t care that he forgot.
“Oh, baby, I’m really sorry. I can’t believe I forgot our anniversary. God, that’s bad, isn’t it? The first year, and I’ve already screwed it up. I’m so sorry, love. Fuck.” Lando rubs a hand over his face, his expression pained.
“It’s okay, Lan. I know you’ve been busy,” you reassure him, “besides, it’s only the first year, we’ll have many more anniversaries.” You offer your gift again. “Just open the present, please? I want to know what you think of it!” You say enthusiastically.
Lando’s not fully convinced yet, “But I haven’t got anything for you,” he protests.
“Doesn’t matter, I already got this for you. Open, please!”
Lando sighs, but doesn’t resist further. However, the guilt of his forgetfulness settles deeper when he opens the carefully wrapped gift. You had taken the time and effort to make something, rather than buy a present, and he couldn’t even bother to remember your first wedding anniversary. He felt like an asshole.
At his silence, you felt the need to explain, “It’s a jar of notes,” you take the jar from his hands and open it. “It’s got different things: my favourite memories of us, things I love about you, what reminds me of you, just whatever I could think of. Then, when you’re gone for work, you can pull one out whenever you miss me,” you demonstrate, grabbing a note from the full jar, “or you could just call me, or whatever.” You put the piece of paper back, close the jar, and look up to your husband.
“Do you like it?”
Lando smiles lovingly, “I love it! Thank you, baby. I love you,” he says before kissing you softly.
“I’m really sorry I didn’t get you anything. I swear I’ll make it up to you. In fact, I’ll make a reservation for tonight right now, we can go out to dinner together to celebrate, and if you want we can go shopping today too, I’ll buy you anything you want—”
You cut him off with a laugh. “That’s not necessary, Lan. I know you love me. Besides, I’d much prefer to spend today at home with you, while you’re still here,” you say, stroking his face fondly before you pull him in for a kiss.
Regardless of your objections, Lando still manages to make a reservation for tonight at your favourite restaurant. He doesn’t make a single comment when you order the salmon despite his dislike for fish, and for weeks after he anticipates every single need you might have before you can utter even a syllable. He brings you the snacks he knows you love most on his way home, makes homecooked meals for you (however bad at cooking he is – he switched to take away after the first two times), and watches your favourite shows with you even though he hates them. He does anything and everything he can think of to make you feel loved and appreciated.
Unfortunately, his efforts only lasted a few weeks. Now, you knew what you were getting into when you married Lando last year. You had been in a relationship with him for several years before the wedding, so you are well aware of the time he needs to put into his work, even outside of office hours, not to mention the amount of stress and anxiety that come with racing at such a high level. That’s why it doesn’t bother you that much that your husband forgot about your anniversary; you know the pressure he’s under.
However, lately, his work has become even more time-consuming, more stressful and he’s become less attentive. It’s no surprise with how well the last races have been going – Lando’s finishing on the podium every weekend – that pressures have increased. He’s no longer fighting for only the constructor’s championship, but he has an actual chance at the driver’s championship too. The team is excited, and working hard, and the same is expected of Lando. Additionally, the fans have been putting more pressure. You know how much Lando’s affected by the stress of it all; he doesn’t want to disappoint, and now that the car’s performing, the only factor that could cause a loss, is him. The pressure, stress, and anxiety are taking over his body. He’s becoming more forgetful and instead of spending his free time with you, his wife, he’s thinking about the next race’s strategy, working out to improve his performance, or practising the tracks. Formula 1 had taken over the number one spot in his life.
You get where he’s coming from, you really do, but one of the most important things, if not the most important thing, in a relationship is communication and recently, Lando wasn’t communicating with you. He doesn’t tell you about the pressure or anxiety, all you know is from reading the man. After the number of years you’d spent together, you know him well enough to be aware of his struggles without him having to tell you.
You’d address the issue, ask him to talk to you, but you don’t when. Lando’s gone so much that you barely see him. His early mornings and early nights don’t align with your schedule; Lando’s gone before you’re properly up and has already eaten when you get home from work. The both of you have always been busy before, but at least you’d always eat together, and talk about your day. Now that those moments are missing, you feel lonely.
Lando has no clue of the things running through your mind. After all, you never told him. Even during the summer break, you keep quiet about your feelings, not wanting it to affect Lando’s performance during the races when you know how hard he's working to do well. Besides, it does get better during the break; Lando’s home more often and his mind's not as occupied with thoughts about his work. Nevertheless, he’s gone most of the time. You had expected for Lando to spend his time off with you, but instead, he hangs out with his friends.
Although the break has positively affected his behaviour, Lando's forgetfulness remains the same. You had told him about your friend’s birthday party several times during the past weeks, asking him to come along. When he promised you would, you thought things were finally going back to normal. But now, as you are waiting for your husband to come home so you can leave for the party together, you realise nothing has changed.
It’s already quarter past eight. Fifteen minutes later than you had said you would leave. You are ready to go – makeup glowing, favourite dress on, present wrapped and purse checked – when you decide you won’t wait any longer. You had given Lando plenty of chances to show his care for you and to consider you in his plans. You always visited his friends with him when he wanted you to, and he couldn’t show up for one party you asked him to come to? You leave the house, no messages sent and your phone on do-not-disturb: let him worry.
You plaster a fake smile on your face when you arrive to your friend’s house, pulling her into a hug when she opens the door.
“Hey, girl! Happy birthday!” You say in a high-pitched voice. “I can’t believe you’re finally 25!” You continue, squeezing her tight.
“Thanks, babe,” she responds when you let each other go, looking over your shoulder. “Where’s Lando? Parking the car?”
“Uh, no, actually. He couldn’t come.” The awkward smile on your face says enough, she knows not to ask any further.
“Oh, okay. That’s too bad. I would have loved to see him. You know, congratulate him on his podiums, it’s been going well lately, no?” She walks you into the house as she speaks, turning her head to watch your reaction.
“Yeah, the team’s really improved.” Once again, the tight smile on your face is clear.
A frown forms on her face at your reaction and she’s about to ask further, whether everything is okay, when she’s interrupted.
“Hey, Y/N! I haven’t seen you in a while! How are you? You never come to the races anymore,” Carlos tells you with a fake pout.
You look at him in surprise. You always forget that everyone in Monaco knows each other. Carlos and your friend met at the golf club and had somehow become good friends. Usually, you liked seeing him, but tonight you would’ve preferred not to see him. Not because you don’t enjoy his company, but simply because you’d rather not talk about Lando, whom he’ll undoubtedly ask about.
And so, your mask shoots up when he pulls you into a hug. “Hey, Carlos. I’m good. How’ve you been doing?”
“I’ve been doing well. You heard the news? That I’m going to Williams next year?” You nod, saying a quick “Of course, congrats!” Naturally, you heard the news; everyone had. But this conversation was already heading in the wrong direction. “Yes, glad to have found a place that will appreciate me, even if the team’s not doing the best right now. Talking about the best, Lando’s been doing so well. You must be proud of him, hm?”
“Ah, yes, of course,” you say indifferently.
Carlos frowns at your reaction. “Everything good between you two?”
Your smile drops, apparently, you aren’t as good at hiding your feelings as you thought you were. “Yeah, everything is fine. Why do you ask?”
Carlos shrugs, “Just the way you react, is all. You seem kind of tense…”
You sigh, letting a silence fall for a few seconds. You might as well tell him, he’ll figure it out eventually. “You’re right. Things… haven’t been so great lately.”
Carlos frowns at your comment. “Between you and Lando, you mean? He didn’t say anything was up, he seemed fine the last time I spoke to him,” he says confusedly.
You roll your eyes at the suggestion, “I’m not surprised. He seems to be clueless to what’s been going on.”
Carlos takes a sip of his drink, “Have you talked to him about it?”
“That’s the issue. Lando’s never home, we barely speak anymore. He’s been so stressed with work that nearly all his free time is dedicated to racing. He gets up early and goes to bed before I’ve even had dinner. I’ve had no chance to talk to him.”
The frown deepens, and he breathes out a puff of air. “That’s tough.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be putting this on you.”
“No, it’s fine don’t worry about it. Sometimes you need to get it off your chest.”
You look up at Carlos, hesitating to continue your story.
“Has the break not changed anything?” He pokes further.
Another sigh. “No, not really. Lando’s using his time off to catch up with his friends. And his forgetfulness has clearly not improved either.”
“His forgetfulness?”
“Yeah, he forgot about the party, clearly.” You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes again.
“What else did he forget about?” Carlos asks with a frown.
“I don’t know if I should tell you,” you hesitate, “but he forgot our anniversary. I told him it’s not a big deal, which it isn’t, but it’s just that everything is adding up. I feel kind of alone in the relationship at the moment, like he doesn’t really care about me anymore. How can I think otherwise, when we barely see each other, let alone speak?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. That really sucks.”
You smile sadly, as if to say ‘it is what it is’.
“It’ll work out in the end,” you tell him. You hope. “Maybe tonight he’ll realise he forgot something important, again. Maybe that’ll make a difference.” You offer an awkward smile.
Carlos breathes in deeply, putting an arm around your shoulders. “Let’s get your mind off it, huh?” he says while directing you towards the fridge.
You nod, follow him, and accept the drink he offers you. Tonight is not about Lando, it’s about your best friend and the fact she turned 25. You are not thinking about your husband until you get home.
– – – – –
You slam the front door of your shared apartment louder than necessary when you enter. Nevertheless, there’s no reaction when you enter the dark apartment. You switch the lights on, noticing Lando isn’t in the living room or kitchen. Did he really go to sleep not knowing where you were or who you were with? Whether you were safe or not? Lando obviously didn’t remember the birthday party or he would’ve come, yet he didn’t text you to ask you where you were? Does he truly care so little about you? Does he even love you anymore? It feels like a punch to the gut – like someone had ripped your heart out.
The man had been basically avoiding you for weeks, barely saying a word at the moments you did see him, but at least he was still awake to see if you arrived okay. Now he doesn't even stay up to check if you get home safely anymore? Or text you to ask where you are? To say you are upset is an understatement, you feel angry and neglected at his disregard. You feel lonely instead of beloved. The lump in your throat is a painful reminder of how close you are to crying. But you don’t.
You swallow the lump, blink a few times to get rid of the lingering tears in your eyes and go into the bedroom to take off your makeup. You lean on the counter, sniffling silently, and close your eyes. You breathe in through your nose deeply, before breathing out through your mouth. It’ll be okay. Right?
When you enter the bedroom you stare for a minute at the man sleeping peacefully before you. It feels wrong when you climb into bed next to him, nevertheless, you do it. It’ll probably take you a while to fall asleep tonight.
– – – – –
The situation hasn’t changed a bit when the racing season starts back up again. No matter how strained your relationship has become, you do want to say goodbye to Lando before he leaves for the next race. So, the morning he’s supposed to fly, you make sure to get up extra early. You don’t know how, but he still somehow manages to finish his breakfast before you’re even out of bed, the container already in the trash.
“Good morning,” you mumble, wiping your eyes as they adjust to the bright light in the kitchen.
Lando looks up from his phone in surprise, clearly not expecting to see you awake this early. “Hey, what are you doing up?” He asks in a soft voice.
“Wanted to say goodbye,” you say as you walk closer to the kitchen island at which he’s sitting.
“There’s no need for that, Y/N. I’ll see you again soon enough.” The smile on his face is sickeningly sweet, a clear contrast to the words coming out of his mouth.
You frown, “You’re leaving for a week… What do you mean, there’s no need?”
Lando sighs at your question, “Never mind, it’s kind of you to get up extra early just for me,” he smiles dismissively before getting up from his seat. “It’s time for me to go,” he says looking at his watch before grabbing his backpack and suitcase which are sitting by the door, “I’ll see you in a week.”
You’re left staring in surprise as the door slams closed. He didn’t kiss you goodbye. He always did that, even during the worst of fights. That’s your rule. Formula 1 is a dangerous sport, he could be hurt in a split second, never mind being killed. From the start of your relationship, he always kissed you before he left, just in case. You hated the thought at the start, but learned to think it was sweet; that, in case something happened, at least he kissed his girl goodbye.
You’re watching your marriage crumble before your eyes, and Lando doesn’t seem to have a clue, or pretends not to notice. This is it, you decide. This cannot go any further. As soon as he gets home, you will talk to Lando, no matter how badly it will affect his race. You can’t do this any longer.
However, somebody else is already one step ahead of you. Carlos had noticed the toll your strained marriage with Lando was taking on you, and couldn’t help confronting Lando the first second he saw him. It didn’t help either that Charles was way too curious about the relationship drama. He had been pushing Carlos to find out more to save his gossip-desperate soul after the radio silence during the break.
“Hey, Lando!” Carlos yells, jogging up to Lando and matching his pace.
“Hey, man! How are you doing? Had a nice break?” Lando asks, giving Carlos a quick hug.
“Yeah, yeah, I had fun. What about you?”
“Ah, yes. Of course. It was good to get some time off. I really needed it; finally got to see my friends again,” Lando grins while Carlos raises an eyebrow at the answer.
“What about your wife? Finally got to spend some time with her now that you didn’t have to travel so much?” Carlos asks.
Lando laughs awkwardly at his suggestive question, “You know it!”
Carlos ignores the casual response. “I actually saw Y/N last week, at a friend’s birthday party. Was surprised to see you didn’t come with her…”
A frown etches onto Lando’s face. “What birthday party?”
“I think she’s one of Y/N’s best friends, she turned 25?”
Lando’s eyes widen in realisation. “Fuck, yes, I remember now.”
“She told you about it?” Carlos asks, watching as Lando’s expression shifts from realisation to discomfort.
“Yeah… She mentioned it a couple of times,” he admits. “She didn’t tell me that she went...”
Carlos lets him ponder it for a moment before adding, “Well, she was there. We talked for a bit, actually.”
Lando feels his stomach tighten. He tilts his head slightly. “What did she say?”
Carlos hesitates, glancing around the paddock while he weighs his options. “Uhm, she said you’ve been distant lately. That you haven’t been paying much attention to her, that you missed your anniversary…”
Lando stops walking. “She told you about that?”
“Yeah, man.” Carlos sighs. “Look, she didn’t go into too much detail, but… she sounded upset. Maybe you should make some time for her, take her out on a date or something. It seems like she feels pretty lonely.”
Lando shifts uncomfortably, his heart sinks in his chest. “Lonely?” The word echoes in his mind, unsettling him. He knows the feeling all too well. He’s the reason his wife has been feeling lonely? The guilt settles deep within his soul as he mulls it over. He tries to laugh it off, but it feels hollow. “She knows how demanding the season has been. I’ve been swamped.”
“I’m sure she does, but… it’s more than that. She told me she feels like you don’t really care about her anymore.” The look on his face is serious as he says it.
Lando blinks, the weight of Carlos’ words sinking in. How could he have missed something so crucial? Why hadn’t Y/N said anything? More importantly, why hadn’t he noticed?”
“She thinks I don’t care about her?” He mutters to himself. His gaze is unfocused as he chews his lip, running a hand over his face out of frustration. “Why didn’t she tell me?” He says quietly.
“There was no opportunity to tell you, she said. You're never home.”
Carlos lets out another sigh. “I’m sorry. I know it’s none of my business, but I don’t want your marriage to be ruined. I know you love Y/N to pieces. I would be upset with myself if you guys don’t make it out together knowing I could have done something about it. That being said, I think you should talk to her.”
Lando nods absentmindedly. He didn't even consider that they might not make it out okay. “You’re right. Thanks for telling me, man.”
As Carlos walks away, Lando is left standing there, his mind working overtime. He had been busy, yes, but surely you understood that, right? He’d been working so hard for the both of you, to secure a future for you. But… had he been neglecting you without even realising it?
The conversation with Carlos continues to replay in his head throughout the day. Maybe he hadn’t been as attentive as he thought. Maybe all those nights out with friends, all those early mornings spent focused on racing had a bigger effect than he assumed. He tries to push the thoughts away, to justify it with the pressure of the season, but it doesn’t sit right anymore.
The rest of the weekend Carlos’ words echo through his head, ‘She feels like you don’t really care about her anymore.’ Lando can barely concentrate with the guilt that’s gnawing at his conscious.
– – – – –
By the time Lando leaves his hotel, he has formed a plan. He has rehearsed a dozen different apologies in his head. He’ll explain what happened, that he’s been so busy with work that he didn’t notice, and he’ll say sorry and change his behaviour. And after that, all will be well.
His plan is thrown out the window as soon as he gets home and sees his wife sitting on the couch, your face pale and tired as you watch TV. The state of you makes the practised words dry on his tongue. How could he not have noticed what was happening?
“Why didn’t you tell me you felt lonely?”
You look up in surprise at the abrupt question cutting through the silence. No ‘hello’, no ‘how are you’, no ‘I missed you, baby’, just the sharp edge of confrontation.
“What?”
“Carlos told me you’ve been feeling lonely. Why didn’t you tell me?”
You frown at his directness, “When was I supposed to do that, Lando? You’re always gone.”
“That’s not true—” he tries to protest, but you cut him off.
“There was not one moment I could have told you, Lando! You’re always busy with work and when you’re not, your friends take up all your free time! You haven’t made any time for me in weeks, months even!” You yell.
Tears well up in your eyes at the confrontation. You had kept your frustrations to yourself for weeks and now that he finds out about your feelings he decides to yell at you for it. How else are you expected to react?
Your words hit Lando hard, each one landing like a punch. His eyes flicker with guilt. “I’ve been under so much pressure. The team needs me—this season could be my best chance at a championship, and I—”
You cut him off, your voice soft. “I know, Lando. I know how important your career is and that this is your chance, but that doesn’t mean all your time should be spent on racing. You’ve no time left for me anymore; all your energy is drained when I finally see you at the end of the day.”
“I can’t help that my job is demanding! You know that, Y/N. You’ve always known that. It takes a lot of time to improve, and the team is finally performing. It’s my chance at a championship! I can’t pass that up!”
“I get that Lando, I really do. But I’ve felt alone in this relationship for months now. I never see you, we never talk… The night of the party you didn’t even text me to ask where I was, or who I was with. You were already sleeping before I got home! Weren’t you worried at all? Or even curious to know where I was, whether I was safe? Sometimes… Sometimes, I doubt whether you still care about me – whether you still love me, because it feels like you don’t.” The tears slowly fall down your face while you say it.
That’s when it hits him – truly hits him. Lando swears he could hear his heart break. He looks at you in shock, and you can’t deny you feel a little better because of it. Had he really fucked up that bad? Do you really believe he no longer loves you, or cares about you? You are the most important person in his life. How could this have gone so far without him noticing? How could he have made the love of his life feel like she wasn’t loved? He runs a hand through his hair in distress, trying to wrap his head around your admission.
“I’ve been patient, Lando. I’ve been understanding, but you’re just never present. Not just physically, but mentally, too. I miss you.”
Lando looks at you sadly from across the room, disappointed in himself. He quickly closes the distance, reaching for your hand. His voice is soft when he speaks to you. “I do. I do love you, Y/N,” he says, caressing your face softly, pulling your chin up so your eyes meet, his teary eyes staring into your red ones. “You’re the love of my life. I care about you so much. You’re the most important to me, above anything else, and you always will be. Don’t forget that, okay? Promise me you’ll never forget that, baby.”
You sniffle, wiping away the tears that are slowly making their way down to your chin, while you nod. The sound physically pains him, his heart twisting torturously in his chest. He vows to never make you cry again.
“I’m so sorry I let it come this far, darling. I’ve been so wrapped up in everything, trying to win, trying to be perfect for the team that I didn’t see what I was losing in the process.”
You interrupt him, “I don’t need perfect, Lando. I just need you to be here. With me. Because if it keeps going like this… I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”
Her words hang between them, and for the first time in weeks, Lando realises the gravity of what he stands to lose if he doesn’t make a change soon. He nods frantically. “Of course, baby. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. You say the word, and I’ll do it. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t love you, because I do. So much. I can’t lose you, I don’t ever want to come this close to losing you ever again.”
He pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you like he’s afraid to let go; like you’ll walk away from him as soon as he does. You press your face into his chest, missing the feeling of him against you and his comforting scent. The last time he touched you, let alone hugged you feels like ages ago.
“I’ll be better, I’ll make time for you, I promise,” he mumbles, his mouth grazing over your hair, as he tugs you impossibly closer into his tight embrace.
You smile faintly through your tears. “I believe you.”
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