#i didnt know this message was a thing ok
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200+ hours in this game and this is the first time this message triggered omg eating my pillow rn
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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he's. so. *cuteness aggression noises*
#rin rambles#he didnt text for the whole day but he messaged me before bed saying he didn't want to disturb my saturday but he hoped things went well#(he knows i had an appointment)#and then wished me goodnight#i'm#haydehdkshdkshdlshdlakdkhsd#he has no business being this cuteeeeeeeee ueueueueuhrkwhdksjd#ok ok i stop i'm acting too much like a schoolgirl crushing haRD#(dont blame me this is the first time i've felt something in that sense in the past few years ;w;)
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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in the most normal way possible if the idea of there being multiple gasters becomes the new popular fandom theory or even remotely canon i might genuinely pop a blood vessel
#trousled rambles#is that positive or negative? buddy i dont know either#i need to write atbb gaster more Immediately. i have got to get AHEAD OF THIS#at least he's basically a very very very big and complex amalgamate. but STILL#I SAW THE SIGNS............I CONNECTED THE DOTS !!!!#YEAH i was just fucking around coming up with a cool antagonist that could be well linked with The Multiverse#BUT. look i just didnt fully realize the extent of my brain power ok. abc_123.ogg was a subliminal message to me#genuinely tho this is a crazy thing to watch gain some traction rn. i honestly thought i was just entirely making shit up#i have like no actual interest in gaster im not gonna lie. hes just good for when i need to fill a role that doesnt fit the main ppl#what do you mean i could've been right. hello#at least there's a chance ppl will stop saying dadster is canon now. that will heal me
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ive already shown this to anyone who actually cares pretty much loll (anyone following the addison arg) but i might as well post it on here
this is actually the first proper animation ive done :'D like other than this ive animated a ball bouncing but that was more to test the software than anything,, lucky for me i consume animation memes more than i consume water so i know the basics B)
#i need to drink hmm#ok im gonna ramble in the tags about the process because i like rambling#that frame where hes looking down and saying “we're coming” was actually the first frame i did#this was gonna be a stupid meme wtf happened#i can show you the first image it was just joking about how quickly everything had escalated lmao#then i drew that and was like#“woag;;;;; ook so like what if i animated this”#twas GRUELING#it may not have seemed like it bc i didnt mention it when i was wokring on it but i wanted to keep it a surprise lol#anyways im finally free from this stupid animation I CAN DRAW PIN!!!#i ended up redrawing the first frame once or twice because it looked really really bad#then the last ones im still kinda unsatisfied with but i couldnt be arsed to change them#im still unhappy with the way he jolts his head back it feels weird#thing is because of my insistence to keep that one really cool frame in there i had to do it#basically i needed a way to get him from hunched over to back straight looking down with his face hidden at one point#and it ideally had to look very unnatural that was the general goal#but idk i thought that line where Slick called Addon blue bell was really FUCKING COOL#also in a voice message Turnip acknowledged the static#SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT URUAHGH GURAH GH GHH#YES!!! THE STATIC!!!! I DID DO STATICCC!!!!!#also i know thats probably not what Slick possessing Turnon looked like but thats how i visualised it lol#I was binging tawog while watching this B)#OK actual tag time woag#animation#beginner animator#addison oc#turn off the lights arg#not my oc#addisons deltarune#my eyes hurt
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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honestly my biggest wonder about yesterdays drama was like... who even was that? not the person being called out, but the one calling them out. like, its one thing to make a throwaway to make a callout post, but to go on anon and try to pull unrelated people into it? this was clearly someone still in the taleblr server since they had screenshots from literally the same day in their callout
this isnt me taking sides because genuinely i have more important things to worry about than all that, but its different when it comes to this person because like... i just thought yall were different than that? maybe we all dont totally consider eachother friends entirely but i liked to think we were all somewhere around there for the most part
theres only so many of us and we all try to stay chill (to more or less success) because like... theres probably less than 100 of us left, and we're all adults by now as far as i know, and i know age doesnt really equal maturity, but its just so immature to try and stir drama by messaging unrelated parties.
honestly even if the person told me in private who they were its not like id make shit worse by posting about them or something because, again, i have bigger things to worry about, im just curious at this point. its not even an obligation for them to come forward, im just admitting that im curious.
if anything all i have to say is be the bigger person and block and move on when you dont like someone or something someone did. i get that you saw stuff that you found gross and you wanted everyone to feel the same way you did, but the rest of us just want to live our lives. plus i think the people that were messaged arent even in the discord so it was honestly even weirder to do that
ive had my fair share of seeing things that made me feel gross to see or read or know about, like, seriously i found out one of my friends was a pedo last year (and i promptly blocked the cunt). but it doesnt do anything to pull other people into the mess and try to start shit.
basically, just be more mature, cause i know yall are better than that. you dont have to read fics that you dont like, and you dont have to interact with people you dont like. your online experience is yours and the best option is always to block and move on. ive had my fair share of drama, and all it does is ruin peoples days, and not much else.
my biggest point, honestly, is that this is such a small fandom and i dont want whats left to come crashing down because some drama makes everyone left hate it here. i dont care whos right or wrong because literally whatever its internet drama, i just dont want this community to die out.
#taleblr#my post#plus about my ex-friend... im just satisfied in knowing theyre gross and insufferable enough that theyre not gonna have much luck#with relationships of any kind unless they make drastic drastic changes to themselves and their life.#and no i havent read the fic in question here because it just didnt sound like my kind of thing#and im definitely not proship but i seriously think its better to just move on#my thing is like... i dont want people writing about certain topics but i also know that i cant stop people#i dont like things that have been done on either side here which is why im not taking sides#you could argue im an unrelated party but i at least talked to the person a little bit yesterday in the server#i checked up on them after cause i was like 'oh this person i was talking to got banned i wonder what the deal was and if theyre ok'#because from our convo in the server they seemed nice even if they were a bit unknowing of the rules it seemed#and they basically just told me they wanted everyone to leave them alone. so yeah#ill leave them alone and everyone else should too and its just better for everyone to move on#im not going to make any more posts about this after mind you. i dont have asks or submissions on so the only way to contact me#is through my messages if anyone feels like it#or i guess if youre in the discord you could DM me on there too#but otherwise im not going to make any more posts because i just wanted to get this out of the way and move on with my day#i have a huge thing happening later and i dont need this weighing on my mind for it#just be more mature. just block and move on. dont be that guy that tries to bring other people into it that had nothing to do with it#and dont try to make this everyone elses problem#youre allowed to feel disgusted and angry or whatever you might be feeling. but dont make it everyone elses problem#also no i couldnt report my ex-friend because i didnt have the info and also i didnt have evidence more than them admitting to thoughts#and people cant be arrested for thoughts alone as much as you might wish they could#and also they werent ashamed of these thoughts which is why they were disgusting. they only hid them because they knew we would be#disgusted because were normal people. so anyway.#long post
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ok I’m convinced there’s some kind of bad luck streak running thru my family
#tea in the tags#ok SO#I was feeling down a few days back but as I started getting better the rest of my family started getting worse#Like in terms of their physical/mental health#So for eg today I made lunch did some dishes stuff etc#and I didnt know that part of the reason why my mum was feeling down#was cuz of some messages btw my dad and a coworker (a few ranks below him) from his previous workplace#And the thing is my dad is superrr nice and also a bit naive and even in the messages itself there was nothing malicious/sus#but the main issue was there being messages in the first place yk#So that was going down over the past few hours#And this was while I was having dinner and after the fight my dad went to switch on the dishwasher#And I hadn’t put my plate in yet so I snuck it to my room from the living toom#Will put in the sink once he goes to sleep or smth#for context he’s a little strict abt there being no dishes in the sink at night soooo#I mean he’s in the doghouse w my mum rn so idt he can say anything#Esp w me and my sister siding with my mum ie we think it’s weird#but also my mum is not like attacking him she’s just venting cuz it’s frustrating yk#And there’s also family lore to go with all this but idk if anyone is interested LOL
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🌷
#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted#i go all in if i love#but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him#but... they only lasted a month then they broke up#she left. and i get that she and i are different people#but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him#i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about#and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish#i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him#i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him#(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all#i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf#if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his#and him mine... that's so crazy to me#that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go#but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much#then im just crazy#and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all#bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him#im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that#so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry#sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him
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#personal#lmao around this time last year i decided to give up on him n LMAO girl if only you knew#i should have just talked to him but djdjjdjdjd idk it felt weird. but he even like. complained one time that we didnt talk all summer#like LMAO..... bro its two ways. u could have messaged me too xjdjjdjdjdj#tho to be fair i think he did show up to a dinner but i wasnt there bc i had just had wisdom tooth surgery n was 1. blown up like a balloon#and 2. so high on pain meds i couldnt function JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ#n e way whatever jdjdjdjd im just laughing at myself bc how did this man become my closest friend from college Zhfnnddnnd#our relationship is so weird. not in a bad way but in an unexpected way#we sat beside each other an entire semester n never talked til the last day like thats so FUNNY IDK#i even said to him that time. bc we were talkin in the hallway n went to sit for the exam n sat in our regular spots of being one seat awa#y and i was like... you know its so funny that we sat beside each other all semester and only talked today#and he was like.... hahha yeah#i was gonna introduce myself but it felt so stupid JDJJDJDJD#i didnt even know his name LMAO#i had him narrowed down to 2 names. bc he was one of like 2 guys that Always showed up in another class' zoom#and LOL i was right. he WAS one of those 2 shjdjsjsj#n e way. then the next sem came n i didnt know whether to say hi to him or not bc we talked ONCE#and i was still wearing my mask at this point and so id try to smile at him with my eyes but never got a response HDNJDJD and so i got soooo#annoyed with him. and even more so bc i kept making friends with ppl and they KNEW HIM??? and i was like WHO IS THIS????#then one time he came up to me n my friends before class n we just talked and i was like o lmao this annoyance im having??? its a big ole#crush BDNNDNDND#and in community college its hard to like. know ppls ages and that day i found out he was 2 years younger so i was like o ok 26 n 28 isnt#bad at all#but thinking back.... first things we exchanged that time was age and i think he was also trying to fish for whether i was single bc he was#talkin about this other guy havin a baby n a wife n i was like o wow !! i didnt know!!#jdjxjdjdjdk god when he found out my age he was like... oh i never would have guessed you were older. you look young ZFHJDJDJDJDJD#oh so you were Looking is that right HJXJXJXJZJZJ GOD LMAO#i look back on so many moments n im like oh duh... he must be interested#but for me its like. i will literally more easily believe literally any other theory so i thought he just liked one of my friends Zhjxjx#ya i dont think so anymorem but i thought that up until like mid january HDHXJJXJDDJJDJ
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i hate writing cvs and teachers r useless at help i love them and i appreciate it but "i have no skills to put on my cv what should i put" - "aww no everyone has skills just think of something"
#SAME WITH REFERENCES#like i dont know people#it reminds me of when i tried to ask for another way to do a piece of homework because you needed to ask multiple people things#and my teacher refused to believe that i truly did not have a single friend to ask#and then finally went ok but said to ask other kids in my class#ma'am i had a panic attack after texting someone a simple message i truly cannot physically do that without passing out#i did not do the homework i couldnt be bothered to make up answers#so much of psychology was that though lol i just had to make up friends and answers#thats so humiliating to admit actually#see i used to be so sad that i didnt have friends but im not rlly anymore / srs#i havent had friends in years let alone close friends#i decided to stop trying it only ever results in stress for me lol#i dont even knkw what to talk about#like people dont rlly care about ur goals or interests or sharing theres or hobbies like what do we even do#its more lonely to have friends then not i think#and it does suck being alone but you get used to it even if ur extroverted and drained like me LMAO#its not like im anti social i just dont put myself out there#i want to live in a city apartment and fill it with pretty things#and learn an instrument#and get a pet#it's 2am im rambling im tired LMAO
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i HATE how time passes. i HATE how impermanent online friendships are. i HATE lookin back through old messages and seeign “deactivated” at the end of a username. i HATE when the account never got deleted but the person just vanished one day. i HATE seeing people i used to talk to continuing on as completely different people and knowing that we will never be the same again. i HATE that i will never get an explaination for the ending. i HATE that there is no closure. i HATE that we have to live like this. nothing is permanent. everything is always changing. you can never go back to how things were before. im going to explode.
#ok to rb#my dream last night took place in my secondary school- a place i havent been in nearly 4 years.#i got on the bus with a friend who didnt normally get on that bus and we went to her house even though the bus never actually went that way#my alarm went off before we got inside but i think the journey was the important bit#then i looked through old discord messages of people i dont speak to anymore and saw them doing well. or i saw them vanished.#the ones who vanished i think abt a lot#i wonder what happened to them#i hope theyre okay#i hope they just decided this wasnt for them and moved on with their lives#the ones who vanished mid conversation i worry about#and ill never know what happened to them#i also spent time looking thru my ex's blog#we were together for four years. and then it was over.#the ending wasnt sudden#unfortunately#it was a gradual shift away from each other#but i keep thinking abt the beginning. how much we'd talk#the friends he introduced me to#the fact that i dont talk to them anymore either.#i miss the way things were before#and i can never go back
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one of my old friends is such a dickhead even when hes trying to be nice cmon man 😭
#he added me to a gc for an event and then kicked me out. at 1am last night so i wasnt even AWAKE#but when u get added and kicked out u see all messages from the time u were in it so ik hes planning a party. let me back innnnn#ik hes removed me bc hes weird abt like. double checking w me before he adds me to new gcs. but i dont miiiinnnd i wanna be invited#its like an anxiety thing for him which is ok but it does not do wonders for my rsd to see notifs like that 😭😭😭😭#ive messaged him to say im cool with being in there he better wake up STAT i wanna see who else is going!!#and also confirm im going before my ex does bc theyll cancel if they know im going lmaoooo#i wont cancel if they go tho bc idm seeing them. no ill will here ive made my peace. they were the one who didnt wanna talk anymore#but anywayyyy. i just need to know now so i can figure if travelling is feasible bc ill probs be on the other side of the country#ok breakfast time baby#.diaries
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each of my parents is a wild extreme of the other and i am the godforsaken rubber band caught on both of them about to snap and fly into the void never to be seen again
#my dad: lets plan to visit our relatives#me: ok#my dad: lets book flights to see them#my dad: haha ok now that we've paid for nonrefundable tickets i'll let them know we're coming#he had a month to message them and ask if they would be in town. but he didnt!#*i* still havent actually paid for the tickets im waiting for them to text him back but he sure has#my mom on the other hand would choose to never see her own children again if it means avoiding a *tiny* smidge of discomfort#edit they are going to be out of the state#good thing we checked before someone bought tickets HuH
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someone on a crochet fb group I'm in posted a photo of a (machine made) dress with a granny square bodice and chevron type pattern skirt and asked for help for a pattern to recreate it and I was immediately like omg I have to make this and the point of this post is last night I fr had a dream where I was telling this to mum. Like I was just explaining the post and the dress and how it works and what I was going to do to make it. I never have conversations about such mundane things anymore irl my mum was the only person I did that with and I miss it I think it's why I ramble so so much whenever given the slightest opportunity
#like she'd be disinterested but unless she was actively focused on something that i hadnt picked up on#she'd still listen????#and she'd TRY to pay attention????#the amount of history books she bought me that were actually on the right period of history even though she didnt know a thing about it#and this is why i get so pissed with my brother buying people presents too bc like.....#literally all you have to do is LISTEN to the seemingly unimportant things people talk about#anyway mini vent over lmao#bri rambles#actually no im not#bc i also need to add that a few weeks ago one of my long time friends cut contact with me#because i had these types of conversations too much essentially#ignoring the fact she could have just told me it was a bit excessive or whatever months ago#its like....... bro i dont talk to anyone irl and youre one of my best friends of course im going to message you#about all the little insignificant things in my day yk????#ok rant over this time for real
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