#but also my mum is not like attacking him she’s just venting cuz it’s frustrating yk

[clarabowmp3]

ok I’m convinced there’s some kind of bad luck streak running thru my family

[uwu-lla]

Aight so here is my lil Ol vent, 90% of it is barely understandable rambling but here it is.

So my hyper fixation atm is what little bit of lore I’ve got from Overwatch fan fiction lol And because I only have little tid bits my brain is all “let’s fill in the gaps! Make up our own plot!” N I’m just like “no! Dumbass, this isn’t good for us! We need to stop trying to think of this and get back in touch with the real world!” But of course that never fucking works, and this one is esp bad and idk y? Like I’ve had hyper fixations before but they’ve never been THIS intense. Haven’t torn me up this bad before.

But like, the bits I do get of the lore is that everything in this continent is screwed n my paranoia has gone like “that’s gonna happen soon!” N I just scream internally everytime. I guess I just really hate it when American media people decide to make my country nothing more than an apocalyptic wasteland. Like, they love to focus only on the shitty bland white Australian culture while this place literally has the oldest people n culture in the world???? Like what the koories got is so much better than the white bullshit excuse for a “culture” that Americans seems to be in love be with.

And speaking of American idolisation of white Australians, it really peeves me off that the two Australian characters are basically the Overwatch universe equivalent of racists and when I learned that I was just “fuck, THIS again. Like we needed more examples of ‘casual Aussie racism” and it’s super annoying because they’re shipped together n it’s like my dream come fucking true like they’re BOTH Australian AND gay??? Yes! Finally! Something I can personally relate to! But then I found out they are futuristic robo racists. But like, u know of anything else with gay Australians with a large fan base that updates near constantly? No! So I just have to suck it up ignore it cuz this is as good as it’s gonna get for me. And I’m not saying that the roadrat people are racists in fact they’re the exact opposite n I know they’re in the same boat as me, trying to ignore the maybe metaphorical White Australian Racism so they can enjoy a gay couple with a great dynamic n very different body types.

It just peeves me off that once again, just like with all those shitty mad max movies n crocodile Dundee, white Australia is put in the spotlight in American media and any good culture that this continent has is ignored.

I guess now I’ll talk about the bits of lore my brain has decided to fill in???

Okay, so I know that like, the company or whatever that makes the robots decides everyone who lives in the desert can get fucked n move which is real shitty n happens allot today but I’ll talk about that later. So, desert people r understandably pissed. U can’t just do that, we’re gonna fight u! But instead of getting angry at the company, they get angry at the robots??? I think idk. But anyway, desert people decide robots r bad, n all must die. So they kill a bunch, n end up blowing up the nuclear reactor that makes robots, resulting in killing EVERYONE. Like EVERYTHING, robots people plants animals u name it. So now the desert people r all crazy n sick, and the rich city people n company people don’t want to help cuz it’s they fucking fault since that factory wasn’t supposed to be there. And so yeah, two Australian terrorists, blah blah.

But here’s the thing. Right now, real life right, the desert communities in central Australia are mostly Aboriginal. Cuz it’s they land, n they’re luckily been able to keep it that way cuz they’re so far from the coast n the cities. But the thing that happens all the time? They get pushed off of their land by mining companies. So when I learned that bit of Overwatch lore, I was like “hang on r they referencing this???” N so my brain started to fill in.

I’m guessing, that this lil desert town of 95% Aboriginal people r in the way of Future Robot Company. They want them gone, they wanna dig n make more robots (don’t know y???). BUT, you see, in certain areas of central Australia, the Aboriginal communities have been able to get official land rights recognised by the government. Which means they get to have a say in what happens to their country in the Parliament House (sometimes. It’s def not perfect). So, obviously this future desert town is like “lol no u can’t mine our country dumbass” n the gov gotta go with that. But, mining companies r horrible fucking people, so they find a loophole. They say “but we wanna make this a safe place for our robots! We love them n everyone is trying to kill them” so the gov shittily lets it happen, n the company is cheering cuz yay they get to mine n the robots will get blamed for it! So the desert people r all super pissed, n some decide that it must be taken out on the robots! They’re the ones doing all this! But like I said before, this shit happens irl all the time to desert communities. The Aboriginal community understands it’s this shitty company doing all this n using the already being oppressed (???) as an easy blame.

And this is where the “ALF” come in.

Now when I learned about that, it really squicked me out. Cuz here in Australia, there is this skin head group called “Australian patriots front” n the “ALF” that Mako joins sounds like these nazi scum decided to take advantage of these angry desert people, swapped 'Patriots’ with 'liberation’, n recruited these people to push their own hateful agenda. N mako fucking falls for it, cuz he really thinks the robots r to blame. But, the other part of the desert community sees right through this bullshit n tries to stop this group from doing their robot ethnic cleansing. So, being the reskinned nazis they are, the ALF starts to also attack the Aboriginal community of this town for not wanting to kill robots. Mako just goes along with it, cuz he’s young n stupid n hoo boy does he hate robots. So a big Ol fight breaks out. ALF goes to destroy the factory, despite the koories being like “dumbasses ur gonna kill us all its not the robots it’s the sickos in the cities go kill them” n boom. They kill everyone n everything, n have made everything to ever live in the desert sick for eternity. I’d like to think that 90% of the koories were able to get out of there before it all went to shit, so all the people remaining r mostly white. Which kinda explains y Mr. Scopophobia is a blond white guy. So, he grows up with all these remaining ALF people telling him the reason everything is bad is because robots did it. So he too hates robots for a thing they had no control over, n kills any he sees. He has no idea that at one point everyone who lived in this shell of a town was Aboriginal, and probably doesn’t even know that Koories are even a thing. Then yeah he meets mr pig face n decides to go kill robots n rich people (I’m happy with that) in the outside world, and mr pig just doesn’t tell him about how he was partly responsible for ruining their continent and ensuring a shitty upbringing for Jun Jun. why would he? He doesn’t wanna ruin this relationship! Sooo it’s just best lil stick thin man doesn’t know.

After lots of stealing n robot related hate crimes, they for some reason??? Join Overwatch (which I’m not really sure what they do???) n they barely avoid not killing the robots that work there. Which brings me to what I learned not too long ago, that the robots were raging against the machine (horf horf) n had decided to revolt against the human race(I for one welcome our new robot overlords) n start killing humans (2 wrongs don’t make a right buddies). So Overwatch decided to not just stop the robots from killing people, but squashing their revolution n making them back into the servants they were made to be (fuckin shitty) That’s what I understood anyway. Idk. If I’m right about that, why, of all fucking times of our history, would blizzard decide to have a story about a government organisation destroying an oppressed race’s revolution. Like, that’s in bad taste.

So yeah my illness riddled brain has decided to cling to all this, making daily life very difficult for me. Having massive disconnections from reality, like, shit that lasts almost a whole day till my rents get home n snap me out of it. I forget to eat, drink, walk Sputnik, etc. cuz I’m just so lost in my own thoughts. I’m seeing a psych today, but she n a bunch of others might decide if I tell them this to not let me have top surgery so I’m scared to tell her. And cuz my brain has clung onto all this crap, it’s always focusing on how the robots r getting abused n so my brains like “help them! Do it! Now!” N I’m just like “fucker they ain’t real u know this so y r u being a dumbass n wasting time on this” so I’m all pent up n frustrated. I’m not really sure on how to go about dealing with this. I can’t exactly set up a ritual n ask Bunjil n Bellin Bellin to give me a cure for my mental illnesses. I think I’ll look up ways to connect with reality when I get home n see what that tells me.

So yeah, I’m real frustrated. Frustrated with my tiny White Suburban Mum town, with the society we live in where I can’t find a place simply because I can’t do certainly n things n therefore useless to the working world. Frustrated that I can’t help the koorie community here cuz I have no useful skills, n all the hard work at school last year has been all for naught.

So yeah, hopefully this will be the end of this big Ol vent. I’m kinda scared about posting this, scared of people deciding I’m a bad person for whatever reasons in here n going after me. Last thing I need is a digital army against me. Aight bye bye.