uwu-lla

[uwu-lla]

how that slot machine gonna look if you pull again

[uwu-lla]

[uwu-lla]

awesome. we have a beetle problem

[uwu-lla]

i truly cannot tell if you're some kind of lesbian or gay man or cis guy or bisexual or a straight woman or a furry or some fucked up combination but i do know you're a cunt

[uwu-lla]

just my luck lol. this WOULD happen to me. my enemies are on a quest to collect the ancient fragments which they will use to seal my power away for years to come lol

[uwu-lla]

fundamentaly embarrassing to show reference pictures to the hairdresser. Like yeah. Hey. Here's a picture of a guy who looks cool. One day I would liketo look cool as well. Can you try to make me look cool. With these paltry ingredients Can you try your very best to alchemize a guy who looks cool right now. In 30 minutes, can you make me into a person. Hey, for twenty five dollars, can you fuck my shit up forever? Could you give me a haircut. Is that too much to ask. Could you cut my hairs

[uwu-lla]

This might be handy for the writing crowd

[uwu-lla]

"people nowadays are getting too obsessed with their dogs" I hate to tell you this but insufferable dog people and those who complain about them have been beefing for hundreds if not thousands of years

[uwu-lla]

NOvember. ive had enough

[uwu-lla]

A lot of American cooking is really quite French and it has been for centuries and I used to not know that and everyone talked up French cooking so much and then I started actually looking into it and I was like. I. Cook like this. Everyone I know cooks like this. This is just butter. It’s butter, Michael. It’s butter. You were hyping up butter. I can already do this.

[uwu-lla]

[uwu-lla]

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn't know it because the term won't be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You're cursed by desert demons.

[uwu-lla]

puttting macking cheese in the michael wave

[uwu-lla]

opposite of a parasocial relationship (I would Rather Die than be perceived by an entertainer I liked)

[uwu-lla]

i love commercial real estate that is essentially zoned exclusively for momentary fad businesses that will go bankrupt. hmm, ok, we are the 8th comic book store in this zip code, and, fuck, uhh, ok nobody is going to any comic book stores anywhere, hmm, ok, vape lounge, old robot style vapes, yep nope ok we don't really sell anything and we're bankrupt. now we're a Vape Store. ok we're the 8th one on this block. ok. they've changed the locks. hmm. what's next. Axe Throwing, Axe Throwing Will Be The Nex-oh, shit, fuck. ok. I got it. We sell fake weed.

[uwu-lla]

hm oh ok

[uwu-lla]

actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used