#all this is dumbass brain shit n I know how dumb it is but here we are

[wonysugar]

fuck you stupid | ning yizhuo

synopsis : you thought you’d seen it all with her, but no, she somehow managed to surprise you even further.

pairing : bimbo!ningning x fem!reader

genre : bffs to... fwb?? idk they just fuck,, so obviously smut too! xx

tags : yall got lost help, fingering, degradation, belittling, dumbification, car sex, she's so stupid but she fucks you good so it's okay, very slight cunnilingus, she slaps you like once so impact play!

warnings : none!

word count : 1.6k

you, y/n l/n, weren’t exactly smart, but you also weren’t exactly stupid. like yeah, you weren’t a genius per se, but it’s not like you were brain dead either. average was the term you always used to describe your intelligence.

you unfortunately couldn’t say the same about ning yizhuo, your best friend. 

you loved her, like that’s your bitch, of course you love her! however, you’d be lying if you said that she was intellectually capable, because she just wasn’t. god, she was just so, so painfully stupid?? clumsy??? careless???? all of the above applied when it came to this woman. not even to be mean or anything of the sorts, just, yknow… natural selection at its finest.

she was aware of that, though, and even thrived in being the self proclaimed bimbo everyone knew and loved. (to which you wholeheartedly agree with, by the way) and honestly? you just couldn’t stop teasing her about it whenever you two hung out. things similar to “stupid hoe” and “dumbass” always escaping your mouth as you two laughed, probably moments after she bumped onto something on the sidewalk whilst spilling all the tea to you. 

in summary, she’s done stupid shit before, but nothing, nothing could ever top what she had done that day.

the day she got the both of you lost in some random parking lot at like, 2 am.

“ning, we’re fucking lost.” you told her, eyebrows furrowed in frustration as you watched her giggle nervously.

she grabbed her cellphone and hovered her finger over the power button, “oh come on y/n don’t be like that, i can just go on google maps and we’ll be out of here in no ti-“

a black screen.

she cleared her throat hesitantly, sighed, then pressed the button again.

nothing.

she kept doing that, giving longer presses to the side of her phone in hopes of a miracle . your patience was running thin and you were quite frankly not far from panicking.

after the 27th-ish try, you finally snapped at her.

“fucking hell ning do you not charge your damn phone??” 

“sorry that i forgot to?” 

oh she had to be joking. 

“girl oh my god what the fuck?? we’ll stay stuck here for only god knows how long and it’s all gonna be because ‘ning yizhuo forgot to charge her phone beforehand’ for fuck’s sake.” you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation. trying to calm down, you ignored ning’s gaze.

her stupid annoying yapping wasn’t helping at all. like, at all.

“oh so we’re once again blaming me, got it. y/n you didn’t even bring your own phone, how do you have the audacity to put the blame on me.” she said back, her eyebrow raised up as she threw her phone down on her skirt, sighing exasperatedly. 

“because someone told me it was her turn to get the aux.”

“where in that sentence did i ever tell you not to bring your phone??”

“god, ning just- just stay quiet. okay? just- please shut up, i’m trying to think. we can’t rely on you for anything.” you told her, exasperated.

in response, she scoffed, “no?? no i won’t, actually. you’re always putting the blame on me and it’s seriously starting to piss me the fuck off. yeah i’m a bimbo, whatever, but does that mean that you have to talk to me like i only have two barely functioning brain cells??” 

“oh please, saying you have two functioning brain cells would be wayy too generous. you’re always doing the stupidest shit out of the two of us. i mean fuck, you literally drove us here, in the middle of nowhere. you’re not a bimbo, you’re just fucking dumb, ning.”

when you looked back at her, she seemed hurt. like, 

a wave of guilt quickly washed over you upon seeing her pained, pained expression. she looked into your eyes, frustration and sadness clearly showing into her own. yeah, she looked pissed. you wanted to apologize almost immediately, and you were going to, 

if she didn’t suddenly press her lips onto yours before you could even get a word out. 

-

how do best friends make up after a fight?

usually, they talk it out, they go out, hug it out then get milkshakes or whatever, hell, sometimes they just go a day or two without talking then eventually forget about it.

this? this was none of that.

since she planted a kiss on your lips, you, instead of doing anything stated above, were fucking.

like, yeahh you were still lost, but at least you were getting your pussy ravaged. the situation could be handled later; when you weren’t drenched.

throwing your head back as you moaned out ning’s name, you were straddling her in the backseat of her car, feeling her two fingers deep inside you and stretching you out. she looked up at you with lustfully hooded eyes as she kissed and left very visible marks all over your neck, all the way down to your collarbone, her free hand fondling your tits, lazily playing with the nipple. 

“f-fuck ning keep going i’m sososo close- fuckfuckfuck..” feeling yourself getting pushed closer to the edge by the friction you felt, you bucked your hips faster onto her digits. the knot tying in your stomach felt like it would’ve snapped any second now, that is,

until she stopped moving her fingers altogether.

frustrated, you whined loudly, “ninggg please let me cum pleaseplease-” 

“oh yeah? so now you wanna rely on me for something, and it’s to make you cum?” she laughed. “fucking slut. i’ll make you cum whenever i want to, got it, bitch?” she added, pressing her thumb on your swollen throbbing clit, smirking condescendingly and watching how pretty you looked when pleasure contorted your face.

you unintentionally clenched at her words, nodding shamefully. it was embarrassing enough having your best friend knuckles deep inside of you, having her call you names and whatnot, but the real embarrassing part? 

enjoying it thoroughly.

she knew this, she knew she had you wrapped around her finger at that moment and oh was it such a power trip for her. seeing you be so needy for her touch, you almost started riding her fingers yourself, too. she was always the one being treated like a dumb bitch, it was nice being on the other side of things, for a change. 

she kept twisting and pulling on your nipple with her free hand as she slowly started to slide her fingers up and down your walls again, giggling and paying close attention to how your body shook and twitched at each and every one of her slow movements. what a sight to see. 

“you like being fucked stupid hm?”

and that’s what she did,

seconds,

minutes,

what felt likes hours,

you were sloppily bouncing and grinding on her fingers, speed ranging from a painful slowness to an overwhelming rapidity. 

you gripped her arms tightly, as if you would fall into some sort of void if you didn’t hold onto her for dear life. resting your head on her shoulder, you whined, losing yourself onto her. her fingers were still pumping in and out of you at that moment, faster than they were before, by the way, so it took you all of your body strength to not just cum right then and there, but you managed to hold back. for her, you held back and took all of it. every minute passing, every single motion feeling like it was threatening to make you go insane. 

“ning pleaseplease let me cum i wanna cum so badly fuck- pleasepleasepleasepleaseee-” you begged, looking down at her with pleading teary eyes.

“fuck, look at you. calling me a dumb bitch all the time, yet here you are, acting oh so stupid for my fingers. such a brainless needy little whore for me, hm? does my idiotic, pretty girl wanna cum?” 

you nodded eagerly as you whined, tears actively running down both of your cheeks, so desperate for release that you quite honestly didn’t care for how ridiculous you looked to her at that moment. you just wanted to cum, so, so, so badly, and you were ready to give up your dignity for it.

the sound of her hand slapping your cheek resonated in the car.

“say it. you know damn well i don’t accept pathetic sounds for an answer.”

“fuck— your idiotic pretty girl wants to cum pleaseee let her–”

she hummed, smirking at your response. incredibly amused by your behavior, she took her fingers out of you, picked you up by placing her hands on your thighs, then gently put you on the empty seat that was next to the one she occupied. upon seeing you sat comfortably, she proceeded to kneel down on the empty space between the front seats and the backseats. y’know,

the ones a grown woman couldn’t possibly fit in?

it’s okay though, like, yeah she would most definitely complain about back pain later, but right now?

she needed to feel you cum all over her tongue.

and that’s exactly what she worked towards, her tongue driven by the scent of your arousal to roam all over your folds and clit, kissing and sucking on every inch of your core as she attentively listened to all the sweet noises that came out of you. it really did not take long before your moans reached octaves you didn’t even know you could achieve before, an overwhelming wave of relief hitting you like a truck. you were 100% sure you would pass out afterwards.

at the end of the day, yeah, you both were still stranded in the middle of some unknown parking lot, but at least, the stress of it all evaporated in the air.

while you were trying to catch your breath, you made a mental note;

never underestimate ning’s intelligence when she was in a bad mood! or, do. depending on if you wanna get fucked stupid that day or not.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

15❤️‍🩹 w Quinn pls 🤧🤧

thank you nonnie for being so patient I know you sent me this almost 2 days ago now. 🫶🏻🙈

200 Followers Celebration

Trying to subtly touch their crush to hint at their feelings.

The thing about Quinn was that sometimes, he can be.... well dumb as shit when it came to anything girl related. His introverted very much "mind my business" attitude he had going for him, left him often not aware of his surroundings. This was often why his fans would roast him online, they all found it adorable and you did too. It was one of the many things that made you fall for Quinn Hughes in the first place.

But now, when you were trying to show Quinn that you liked him, and his brain was a million miles away. Something that you found adorable was now one trait about him that made you want to scream. Because here you both were watching a movie at the lakehouse, which mind you. Both of you aren't together but he begged you to come visit him during the summer because "I haven't gone more than a week without spending time with you since we met. I can't go three months Y/N/N." At the time it made your heart sworn but now. Sitting here, grazing your hand with his bigger one. Acting tired and putting your head on his shoulder. Instead of the big flashlights going off in his head like "oh shit y/n likes me."

His dumbass really goes "hun if you're tired you can go bed. I'll help you upstairs. I know you might be feeling a little tipsy from all the drinks we had dinner."

And just like that instead of telling him how you felt, you said okay and let the man who you've liked maybe even fallen in love with almost a year ago now help you up the stairs.

[archiisfandomstuff]

Watchting marble hornets rn (like the entries on youtube) hopefully this won't alter my brain chemistry or some shit cause I know that mh and creepypasta are somehow link (idk they seem to share a few characters like hoodie, masky, and slenderman from who I know) and we already know I haven't been able to escape that shit for the past almost four years now.

will update later

read at your own risk. this just turned into me recording all of my thoughts n shit

currently at entry #5 and does not seem to have much if anything to do with mh but rather it's creator. Entries #1 , #4 & seem to have the most horror esce (?) shit to them

Entry #6: What the ever loving fuck is going on here??? What is Mr. Clean doing, the big ol' stalker? very confused but intrigued.

Entry #11 is bothering me cause I can't find the "close encounter Alex missed" with who I am assuming is slenderman like no fucking wonder Alex missed it, I can't find this mf either

I'm guessing that this is some arg type shit. My guess as someone who takes a while to formulate proper explanations that I do not care to formulate rn and am going off of a vague idea based off of the little information I've been given is that this whole thing is an arg thingy named after the fake movie the characters are creating in where it is the origin story for the characters (Tim/Hoodie and Brain/Masky) I (we ig but I really never had much interest in them so idk much) know. Tell me if I am like astronomically off or smth.

So Tim is literally just A Guy? Dude has like no plot relevance. Why are y'all hyping him up so much????

I hope Jay realizes he is literally entering. No breaking though, some idiot left the door unlocked.

homeboy fell to the ground coughing and got up like "Nah, no time for dying, gotta unlock the door with a deadbolt." fucking idiot, dude is gonna die so bad

"I may go back eventually" DO NOT GO BACK YOU DUMBASS

ALEX WTF DON'T DO THAT JUMPSCARE SHIT TO ME I CAN DO GORE I CANNOT DO JUMPSCARES BITCH

NVM IT'S BRIAN BUT STILL DON'T DO THAT MAN

Jay's lungs are still dying good to know

Entry #19: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT MASKY YOU BITCH WTH BRIAN OMGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS SHIT IS SO COOL THOUGH NGL

Wait did I fuck up who is who? Is Tim Masky and Brian Hoodie. That sounds correct now that I think of it. Eh, fuck it, I ain't editing shit.

How the fuck is Jay not dead as hell yet? Mf has plot armor never seen before. "Ima just break into this house here, steal shit, GO BACK, get attacked, and continue pursuing this shit." BITCH YOU GON DIE

JAY STOP GOING BACK TO THE HOUSE IT IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPTION HOLY SHIT YOU DUMB FUCK

Have you even seen a character so fucking dumb they just disappoint you? That is how I currently feel about Jay. "Oh shit, I just saw the masked guy who attacked me and broke into my home. Let's fucking chase him."

"I am never going back to that house again." FUCKING FINALLY BITCH

oh shit someone is fucking with the cameras

wtf does totheark mean or stand for???

Rip Jay's apartment

Entry #26 was definitely something. So, Alex is alive, has a roommate or two, has managed to evade Slenderman for a while judging by the fact that his appearance was surprising to both Amy (idk who she is but I can tell she has no knowledge of what is going on) and Alex himself. Jay, this is clearly a trap, idiot. But, I understand falling for it ig.

Jay is the main character. He is still alive and I have no clue how but i do wanna know what happened in those seven months.

WHO IS JESSICA??????

omg poor jessica (assuming she is telling the truth)

MASKY YOU SON OF A BITCH

updates will stop for now because it's getting late and I'm pretty sure I have shit to do tomorrow (can't actually remember) gonna continue watching. I left off on Entry #34

We back

Tim "I may have had my leg broken by a paranoid film student, but I shall continue to torment his best friend" Wright.

Alex is suspicious as fuck. Calling it rn, he did or is doing something.

Still do not trust Alex like holy shit dude. Jessica, run, you want no part of this bullshit. Run, girl, run!

I am very confused as to what is going on w8th Tim, but I know that mf can run, lucky bitch.

With the rate that these mfs are falling to the ground in coughing fits, you'd think that Slenderman causes asthma not insanity. Also, wtf was Tim doing there. I originally thought this guy had no plot relevance.

TIM'S STALKING COMING IN CLUTCH OMG BEAT HIS ASS TIM

Gotta stop for a bit again cause I'm doing stuff with my family for a bit. Be back later

OMG I'M DUMB TOTHEARK IS TO THE ARK WHY DID THAT TAKE ME SO DAMN LONG I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE TO THEARK OR SOME SHIT IDK

OMG TIM NO THIS ISH'T YOUR FAULT SLENDERMAN IS JUST A RAT FACED BITCH

Why has Brian only crimes (from what I can remember) been like, so tame compared to what you would expect? This motherfucker seems to be routing for Tim and Jay, I think. "Wipe that stupid smile off your face." Alex says, referencing how, apparently, Brian was smiling at the knowledge that Alex cannot find Tim and Jay. Idk, I like hi so far even if the whole stalking thing ain't really my jam.

JESSICA MY GIRL NOOOOOOOO OMG NO

That was a shit show. BUT MY GIRL IS ALIVE I THINK AND THAT'S AWESOME.

FUCK ALEX FUCK SLENDERMAN LONG LIVE (RIP) THE HOLY TRINITY OF BRIAN TIM AND JAY IDC WHAT CRIMES THEY'VE DONE AT LEAST THOSE MFS TRIED TO FIGHT IT AND LING LIVE JESSICA THE MF WHO DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS SHIT (NONE OF THEM DID) I LOVE HER SM

I HAVE FINISHED MARBLE HORNETS NOW PREPARE TO SUFFER CAUSE I'M OBSESSED

[vashsmunch]

Where do we go from here? pt. 2 NSFW

Vash x GN Reader

Synopsis: basically, you and vash are roommates who met by him crawling up to your door injured one night, praying you wouldn't kill him. you treated his wounds and have basically been his personal nurse ever since, as he keeps doing dumb shit. but the entire time, you always wished it was something more.

Warnings: just nsfw LMAOAO | don't continue if you're under 16

A/N: im sorry for splitting it into three parts, i just want to get rid of this one before it sits in my drafts forever

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  

"You're being serious, right? No games?"

Vash nodded his head firmly. A few long moments of silence passed between you two, both keenly aware of the tension being exchanged as your eyes met. This mood of vulnerability wasn't necessarily new with him, but the feeling of romanticism was. There were plenty of times the two of you had talked. Most of them were you asking him about his travels and what he's been through. Sometimes it was hard hearing about it; your heart would ache as he told you about the people he had inadvertently hurt and how he collected all his scars. When you would change his bandages, your fingers lingered a few seconds too long, slightly caressing the chunks of mended wounds scattered across his chest. Even now, you raised your hand to trace them, feeling his body shiver. 

There was something so irritating about how he refused to recognize his pain because he felt he didn't deserve it. More than anything, you wanted him to understand that it wasn't his fault, and now you finally had a chance to do so. You just needed to figure out how.

"I want you, Vash. I truly do. But I need you to understand something. If we do this, whatever this is, you can't hide from me. Not anymore," Your fingers trail up his collarbone and neck to cup his cheek gently, and he breathes a heavy sigh as he melts into your touch. "I'm so in love with you, and I don't think you fully understand that. I don't care how much you think you'll hurt me because there's a reason I let you into my house that night. You've pushed me away more times than I can count, and despite all that, I was waiting each time you came back. You don't have to love me back, not right now. All I ask is that you let yourself indulge. Stop treating me like some delicate porcelain doll, and show me all of you, even the parts you try so hard to ignore. Because when I say I want you, I want all of you." 

You paused, waiting for him to react; you hadn't expected yourself to confess so readily, but part of it was to prove your devotion. A wanted man with a bounty of sixty million double dollars on his head, and yet you were here on his lap, pleading for him to let you in. He was always keeping his distance, even when you practically hurled yourself at him. You just needed one chance, a singular moment, to show him that you meant all of it, that all the words weren't just on a whim. 

He was silent for a few seconds as if he was rewiring his entire brain to try and process what you had just said. After a bit, he responded in a low voice, looking down. "If I do that, I hope you know I'll never let you go. You would eternally be with me because I wouldn't be able to stand seeing you with anyone else. Is that really okay with you? To be all mine?" One of his hands slowly slid down your hips to rest on your thigh, gently squeezing the flesh. 

You let out a soft snort of disbelief as your fingers gripped his chin to pull his gaze toward yours. "After all I said, you're still asking me that? Shut up and take me, dumbass."

A smile immediately appeared on his face as he kissed you again; this time, it wasn't filled with regret and guilt. Instead, there was relief; you could practically feel the joy radiating off his body. For the first time, he was finally allowed to love and be loved with no strings attached. No betrayal around the corner, no sacrifices made, and you were more than happy to let him indulge in all of it and all of you.

He gently trailed his lips down your jaw, reaching the dip of your neck and softly kissing it. There was a slight suction noise and an ache where his mouth had been when he came back up to look at you. You snickered as you cupped the back of his head to pull him closer. "Marking your territory? You don't leave much to the imagination, huh?" His cheeks grew pink as he returned to peppering your skin with featherlight kisses, turning your giggles into quiet whines of pleasure. When he hit a sensitive spot, your hips ground against him out of reflex. 

He gasped, and you instantly pulled back, mortified at what you'd just done. "I'm so sorry, I just did it out of- We don't have to go there if you don't want to." You stumbled over your words as you clutched your face and turned away, wanting to die from embarrassment. 

Vash laughed softly as he raised his hands to pull your fingers away, trying to get you to look at him. "You know, when you said that you wanted to be mine, I was hoping that implied something more than just kissing," Your eyes grew wide, and he grinned at you, delighted with your reaction. He leaned in close again, whispering into your ear. "If you want to heal me, let me take care of you. Seeing you happy is the best medicine I could ever receive, angel." 

A whimper left your mouth as he reached down to hook a finger under your shirt, his eyes silently asking for permission. You nodded furiously, and instantly, your shirt was off, with him looking utterly mesmerized by your bare chest. His hands ran up your sides, tracing patterns into your skin as if trying to etch his devotion into you so you would never forget. You were a work of art, and he was the sculptor working tirelessly to carve the patterns of his love on your skin with everything he had. 

"God... I don't know what I did to deserve someone as beautiful as you, but I owe them one hell of a thank you." 

You blushed as you trailed your hands down his stomach, reaching the hem of his joggers. You tugged at them, needing them off. In your mind, none of this was even happening. It was all an illusion; maybe you had inhaled too much disinfectant fumes. But as he gave you a soft laugh and took your hand, everything solidified for you. Everything you had dreamt of, from the night you first met him on your porch, with that dumb smile of his and pathetic eyes, was real. 

He interlaced your fingers with his. "Hey, hey, none of that. You're always the one taking care of me, looking after my injuries. Tonight, I want to be the one who tends to your every need."

He hushed your whines of protest by peppering your chest with kisses, eventually reaching your nipple and tugging on it slightly with his teeth. Your lips released a soft moan as he flicked his tongue around it before sucking. Hands fist at his hair, trying to pull him closer, to get more of him, but he was irritatingly slow. As expected, he always played the flirt even when you could tell he wanted you as badly as you did him. He lays you down on the bed and lets out a hum as he begins to worship every part of you: your arms, chest, stomach, and finally... 

You hissed softly as his teeth grazed the lower part of your pelvis, biting the band to your underwear. Vash grinned up at you with that infuriating but endearing smile, well aware of how tired you were of his teasing. Huffing irritably, you swatted his chest. "You know, one would think that if you were that hungry for me, you would've fucked me already." His face suddenly turned into a flustered look of surprise. He wasn't expecting you to be so openly vulgar, and oddly, that aroused him even more. Without wasting another second, he pulled your pants and underwear off. A jolt of electricity flashed through your body as you felt his breath on heat of your sex, with him humming contentedly and spreading your legs. He was a little too enthusiastic, making you wonder if he had ever dreamt about you before this happened. 

He dragged a finger along the length of your heat, reveling in the soft hiss you let out. He would've prolonged it to tease you more if he really wanted to, but after restraining himself for so long, he was extremely impatient, and honestly, so were you. Without another moment, he dipped his head to taste you and what a fantastic flavor you were. He was careful to make sure every part of you was shown his complete adoration, that no spot was left untouched. Immediately, you were at his mercy, whining and whimpering as he devoured you like a man starved for weeks. He was so gentle, even in the heat of the moment; with every kiss and lick he placed upon your sex, Vash lovingly caressed your thighs, squeezing them softly to ensure you were comfortable with everything happening. It made your heart melt; despite all the betrayals and pain he's been through, he was doing his best to make up for lost time. And that kind of behavior deserved to be rewarded. 

You mustered the strength to sit up and take his face in your hand, making him gaze up at you. He looked, for lack of better words, completely fucked out. His lips were dripping with a mixture of your fluids and his saliva, and his eyes gleamed with a ravenous look that seemed utterly intent on making you his. Stifling another moan, you caress his cheek with your thumb. "I know you said you didn't want me to, but... please. I want to make you happy. That's the only thing I've ever desired," Your other hand trailed down his arm, tracing the curves of his bicep. "Will you let me do that for you?"

There were a few beats of silence as you watched his face contort to one of disappointment and hesitance. He never liked to have himself pleasured in any form. Even in the beginning, when he had first appeared at your doorstep, he looked utterly terrified. His eyes were full of fear, like he was ready to run away at any second. That carried over into the first few weeks of him letting you take care of his wounds. You had to harass him to let you bandage him, and it seemed like he would've been completely okay with just bleeding out instead of bothering you. Of course, as months passed, the two of you grew closer, but maybe he never made a move on you because he was afraid. Afraid of rejection and that the peaceful bubble he had created for himself with you would pop instantly the moment he reciprocated your adoration. You were determined to show him otherwise.

Finally, he slowly nodded, and you breathed a sigh of relief. But before you can stand up, he grips your thigh harder. "I need to tell you something, though. It's about..." He groaned and rolled his eyes in embarrassment, looking away from you. "My body isn't normal. I guess that's expected of someone who isn't human, right? But it's pretty... out there."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not really understanding what he meant. His scars weren't a secret. You had seen all of them before, including the ones on his legs. What else could there be that he would be so self-conscious about? Unless it was... wait.

"Vash, do you mean your..." You quickly glanced down to his crotch and back up at him, where a bright red blush was dusting his cheeks. "...It's different?" He nodded quickly as his grip on your leg became painfully tight as if he was scared you would move away from him. You weren't sure what you were expected, but you couldn't say you were surprised. As a PLANT, something was bound to be different with him. You just didn't expect it to be that. Still, it was intriguing. 

Curiosity won as you gripped his chin to return his gaze to yours, pressing your forehead against his. His posture softened as you whispered. "Let me see?"

He frowned, hesitant, but let you stand up and lay him down in your place. Your fingers trailed down his stomach as you felt him squirm, clearly anxious. Leaning down, your lips followed the same path as your hand, kissing every spot it touched. You got to his black joggers and immediately sensed something... different. A hand reached out and softly grabbed his bulge, and his hips jerked against you. He definitely wasn't concerned about size, that's for sure. It was almost too big, but amidst your stupor, you felt another buck. But this time, it wasn't from his hips. Startled but trying to keep your composure to not freak Vash out, you looked up. You waited until he gave you a nod of consent, and then you slowly pulled his pants down, wringing out a strained gasp from his lungs. 

Different wouldn't be enough of a descriptor for what he had. Beautiful? Exquisite would be more accurate. In the middle were petal-like folds resembling an orchid, marked with bluish-grey glyphs that glowed softly in the dimly lit room. As you traced a finger around the edges, they curved in and out, seemingly responding to your gentle touch. Vash twitched, inhaling sharply as you got to the shaft. Sprouting from the folds was what looked like an elongated rosebud, curving up towards his stomach and tapering at the tip. More patterns decorated the appendage, and ridges along the sides bent in on themselves like hooks to grip onto surfaces. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that was meant for. 

[i-have-dots-in-my-brain]

ayup mates, its me (that one fucking guy that shows up in your fever dreams to offer you garlic bread then fucks off into the void) (i think you need to get a therapist btw)

Call me dots or dot (not correct but when saying something belongs to me you use "dot's". idk why don't ask me)

My cara page (for art): https://cara.app/ihavedotsinmybrain

They/them she/her it/its ( welcome to the mad lab we do experiments with the funny goofy hjinks with the genders here)

TAG GUIDE : my art (self explanatory), dot's thoughts (mad ramblings) (extra note, there are two versions of dot's thoughts, the other one is with the phone version of ' so you can go look for that if you wanna see me posting from outside the comfort of my room and computer), dot’s travel journal (me on holiday), my persona (obviously just my persona) *prone to updates

dumbass who likes to draw ocs and shit. (posts like there is no tomorrow but also like i have all the time in the world) (oc x canon stuff also) (some fanart ig)

if you wanna find my (mostly serious) art, check out @dots-in-my-head (send me asks and dms on this blog) also i have started putting fandom stuff there too so if you want to get my fandom doodles you can look to there as well

still questioning sexuality but currently aro/ace? (idk i'm not in a rush lol) (i WILL dabble in the arts of questioning me sexuality on internet if you got problems with that shoo)

my loveley husband (@octoxxt, pls ignore this blog dude its embarrassing)

why do you need to know my age, ‘you a cop?

will not draw smut or NSFW bcs i will start howling with racous laughter and melt. (i don;t even read smut in fic dude what do expect me to be able to draw im a cartoonish obviously anime style inspired semi-realism but not really shitty doodle artist you put your hopes too high if you think i can draw a dick without making it look like a piece of middle school desk graffiti)

i've got a bit of a dirty mouth but everything is pretty vanilla . (i make edgy dumb jokes sometimes, but it's not my actual personality peace 'n love on planet earth okay) (any time i say i wanna kms IT IS A JOKE) (most of my posts are /srs i will mark it if its a joke i know the pain of not knowing if it was a funny joke or not i gotchu other autistic peeps)

please talk to me god i am lonely (i am serious about this i love it when people rb and scream in the tags it genuinely makes my day) (send me asks send measkssendmeaskssendmeasks—)

Absolute art machine(whether the art is good or not is a big question that i am not ready to answer) makes shitty animations sometimes idk.

Uses lol too much. Chinese, knows mandarin (translate the random messages for maximum brain damage) i don't know simplified but i do know traditional (please talk to me i need to practice my chinese reading skills) am i a furry? idk but if you're mad about it you can fuck right off (i have a couple ocs and my darling fursona)

am currently inbetween fandoms, fandoms i am (kind of) active in are hetalia, scp, dnd, genshin, pjo, bg3, apothecary diaries, jrwi riptide and csm (list is prone to updating because fandom is my support system) (you wont see my art for most of them but the brainworms are there and sometimes i let them take over)

old fandoms or the fandoms i lurk in (i visit them often): eddsworld, demon slayer, pokemon, vocaloid and wof. (also prone to updates as i remember stuff)

note : i am still in school and have a life outside the internet so stuff will be delayed (which is why i am only kind of active) (i go missing sometimes i am not dead life is just lifing for me)

Do not say anything about how cringe I am I know trust me (it’s a coping mechanism lol)

if you're concerned, you're very right to be. I am very incoherent (most of my life updates have actually devolved into cries for help, please talk to me)

also if you don't like my art or ships just leave(any critique about anything i make shoots a bazooka straight into my heart and behind the screen i crumble into a cartoonish pile of ashes and bones as i stare at the screen blurred by tears) (unless I ask for critique then i brought this on myself and i’ll walk it off don't worry)

(Both of my personas)

My flags (might be updated)

[m0e-ru]

hi ive been binging your blog a lot recently. i rlly adore the sheer effort you've given to these dumbass fucking characters that otherwise get such little people even attempting to appreciate or engage with them beyond very shallow depths. as someone who only really got into the p4 games relatively recently (2022. my only remembered experience with the series beforehand was like a couple episodes of the the p4anim years ago and playing p5 in 2016/2017) and kind of being shell-shocked by how characters like marie and teddie and namatame were perceived by the overall fanbase once i started engaging with it more i really appreciate all the writing and analysis and art and other shit you do for them. even the gas station attendant, a character i overlooked initially, i've come to love because of all the time and energy you put into picking them apart like a dead frog in a science class

uh yea idfk i feel generally vindicated by seeing the way you characterize these bitches. especially marie as someone who felt like a lot of her interesting aspects were evaporated by the fandom (somewhat because of p4ga i feel but but still) and wanted to see more silly fanart of her (and shumarie/soumarie/whatecvrer the fuck that wasn't just kind of surface level romance becuz i rlly do love their dynamic w how i see bancho in my head. idiots who dont know how to properly express themselves w one repressing themselves to adopt a likable persona and the other unable to shut the fuck up much to their own detriment. im not gonna get over that fucking "marie makes everyday sunny for him" post ever i think) so uh keep on keeping on and ill continue to like your posts and something

anyway dumb stupid cringe fucking rant over. i apologize if i come off like a loser i dont use this website and idk the general tumblr etiquette. im pretty sure shit like this shouldnt even go here but . dont need to respond to this i just wanted to yell into the void cuz i appreciate this account. rest of this will just be panels of marie and teddie and bancho from some of the p4g anthologies i own that i wanted to share in the off chance that you also dont already own said anthologies n have seen them befor. these r only from the last ID antho and the dengeki one because those r the only 2 i have proper pictures of

hai i read this ages ago and i wanna get back to it by saying youre so awesome possum forever and ever dont worry about your ettiquette because getting 3 essay worthy paragraphs of you talking is basically everyone ive met in the tumblr nation

another thing i remember is that a bestie also loved your offerings esp the last one because those two look so lalala AUAHUAHA okay i should answer this ask properly now that i have the time 🏃🏃🏃🏃

can we give it up for the bingers and blog skimmers !?!?!?! you guys are such an interesting breed i remember trying to do that in 2018 i can already recall the thrill going through my blood im so honored to see people doing that and moreso coming to me to tell me about it WAHAUHAHA 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

this gas station (blog) really is catered to the niche market of all time also because the way my brain is wired to just go in the dustiest nooks and corners of a community and thrive and live there. i AM the bug you see when you lift up the rock . hai . i'll do anything for these poor poor characters being tossed around like hot potato with people who dont bother understanding thing or even try to pick them up at all. also im getting such a kick every time someone tells me i got them into appreciating the attendant or even iznmi more OR in a different way. thats why im here bros . me when i do my JOB !!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

the way fandom handles shipping has always irked me because theres just SO much you can do with two characters than just make them hold hands. what if there was blood invovled, you know . /starts pacing around the room / you know im glad you know the know it's so cool you know /shaking you/ im glad i have a post that's affected you so much like i thought it was just a silly caption at the time and seeing it after 2 or 3 years is like "YEAHH i cooked this " and im glad you brought it to me hehehe

i hope this gas station brings you joy and you keep coming back for more etc etc and please know i really am happy to see you around in whatever branch you show up at 🫡🫡🫡 /explordes

[cashaywallace]

You put a couple together for money they like each other then you do deformation of their character and tip ya toes on ya nose in their business wearing someone else’s shoes to create .. bullshit in their foundation ..

That’s weird .. but you want them to make money…

“Well they work too well together that’s a power couple who’s going to out rank me..”

At this point did Yal NIGHAS tell em as ya self you got mofos as slaves they sex n $$ laundering or dis you punish em when they got bold!??

Who talked about slavery ending and believing in that shit va who skimmed it and said BLM black out post then .. okay back to me. ..

That’s weird cause for alarm.

WHITES SUPRIMACY = LAZY SWALLOWER OR SPITTER ..

Hmm WHATS the cum taste like!?

Well that’s new.

T.hoow “I did all that work and don’t get to hang with celebrities “

- Megan the stallion they want to twerk comp with you … SHE EXERCISED FOR THEIRS ass therefore it’s harder work than be “born with it” .. OKAY NEPOTISM BUT MISSING WHERE YOU ARE THAT TOO - FITNESS WORLD YA DONT BELONG INNCOACH LOAND.. you cut with h g h and posting someone else means and meals and yours..

Megan stallion .. YA COACH USED HIS SHIT FIRST THEM MINE AND YA GOT WHAT!?? GAINS T.hooww how you in there Zz PAULA BARTON .. zWERE COUSINS .. THATS weird. Family.

…

YA STALK ME JUST LIKE YA DID LEFT EYE TO DARNIECE AND BEYONCÉ TO AALIYHA

You fucktard elders KNOW WHAT YOU GOT THE KIDS INTO AND WHY..

And ya got issue with mortal and divine me YOU HATE GEMINI AND ALL OF ME HATES YOU unless YOU LWGIT WORKING TO MAKE RIGHT ALL AROUND WITH YOUR ENEMIES.

Again UR ANCESTORS ARE GOING TO HANDLE YOU FOR ME bc ME DUMBASS TOOK BULLET AFTER BULLET AND NEVER GOT TO FUCKING LIVE AND PLAY TO THE FULLEST AND YOU BITCHES STILL TRYING ME TO SOMEONE ELSE YOU CAN TALK UGLY FREELY W “ oh this person not in her friend group or she can’t read my journal so imma keep talking shit “

… that’s weird.

MISSING THE POINT OF HEALING THE HEAVEN KINGDOM YA THINK I WANT WILD BANCHE BRAIN FLING POO AT SAME “enemy” there …

Then where would a utopia be.. WE SHUD JUST STAY HERE - FOR THE DUMB ASS WHO CANT COMPREHEND AND FAILED THEIR TRAINING EXAMS AND FUCKED FOR IT OR CHEATED. ..

Tx HOWW YA MALE ENEGY BIG BUT FAKE.

Ur feminine is small and fake.

You have a 1/2- note on real.

That’s weird. PH BALNCE OF ATTITUDE …

———- —- acitic. Acitic you at a 5/6 .. DED.

[theuniverseawakens347]

This is Garret he’s racist - colorist HATES LIGHT SKINS WE ARE SEEN AS SEX OBJECTS TO BE FUCKED W BUT SEND THE BLACK MAN TO DO IT BIT ALSO TALKING W CASHAY SHES BEHAVED AND WELL SPOKEN ENLUGH I WONDER IF SHELL LET ME STICK MY DICK IN HER -

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

.. you talk to James WHOS A CRACK HEAD USING THE DRUG TO LIVE HIS SIN OF YELLING AT WHOMEVER HES RACIST TOWARDS FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL REASONS vs the Mexican woman in the library yelling SAME THING .. SHE SEEING PPL HER DED ANCESTORS FOR BEING FUCKING RACIST AND BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR HER CHOICES IN HER LOFE POSITION ROGHT NOW - SAME W JAMES BUT NOT SEEING THINGS HES HEARING VOICES. - ANCESTORS FUCKING YOU UP FOR BEING A SHIT HEAD AND PUTTING TOO MICH FUCKING STRESS ON ME AND DARNIECE AND MY WHOLE BLOODLINE TRYING TO BALANCE SHIT OUT IN OUR OWN LANE BREAKING CURSES.

NOW YOU GOT PPL LOOKING AT BEN LIKE HES RACIST - BUT ITS TINA TO THE WHITE MAN AND BEN TRYING TO DEFEND HIMSELF BUT NOW THE OUTSIDERS CONFUSED ON RASIM BEGINNING THINK ITS JUST STRAIGHT HIM - WHITE MAN N A AFRICAN TURNED AMERICAN FAMILY OF SAVAGES TRYING TO GET BACK FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING OF PICK A NIGGERS WHEN IT WAS UR OWN KIND BEING JEALOUS OF SOMEONE OUTSIDE THE TRIBE DEEMING SOMEONE KN UR TRIBE THE BEST AT X Y N Z - AGAIN YOU WERE GIVEN WHAT YOU CUD HANDLE HAD YOU STAYED IN UR FUCKING LANE N TENDED UR GARDEN BUT YOU SAID NO I WANA FUCK YOU OVER BC IM ALways the last picked in basketball teaming - YOU NOT PRACTICING UR SKILL SET TO GET REWARDED YOU STEALING FROM SOMEONE ELSE OR SETTING UR KIND OF FOR MURDER YOH WISH YOU WAS LIKE BUT DONT SEE YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE EXTRA PRACTICE TO GROW THAT SHIT DUMBASS DDG - sexyy red glorrilla who got a bigger ass or tits or prettier w make up on cause our music suck outside the beat and one or two bars here n there - LETS JUST TWERK - OKAY RAPE CULTURE CONFRATS ALL THE WOMEN AND MEN NOW FUCKING AIMLESSLY AND BOOM BABIES W PARENTS WHO DONT WANT EM IN FULL UNLESS THEY MAKE MONEY BC THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND PARENT THEMSELVES TO BEGIN W - MOMMY N DADDY WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER TIL YOU DIE I DONT WANA GROW UP BUT ILL FAKE IT TO THE CAMERA OR THE OUTSIDE FAMILY MEMBERS OR JUST ENOUGH TO YOU TO GET WHAT I WANT AND NEED - LEE GARLINGTON IN FULL AND HOWARD NUGENT PROJECTING THEIR DEPRESSIONAL ERA MOMMY N DADDY ISSUES ONTO ME N MY TRIBE ACTUALLY WORKING LUR ASSES OFF .. SHAUNTE ALWAYS IN SNOOP BUSINESS CLEANING UP SOME ASS WIPE MESS 2pac CAUSE A NIGGA GOT TWO CARRIED AWAY W NOT UNDERSTANDING SELF SABOTAGE AND EXTENDING IT TO THE WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY - INTER RACE SHOW ALL GENERATIONAL CURSES. 🤬 FUKING DICKS.

“How do we get away from the white man chains on us” - EXAMINE YOUR OWN WHITENESS IN YOU .. WE ALL THE SAME FUCKING PPL - U FUCKED OVER AFRICA AND NATIVE INDIGENOUS PPL FOR WHAT!? Cows brains cannibalism - CONGRATS IDIOTS. EVERY DAY YOU WANT ME MAD N STARVING. SO FUCK YOU - I DIE WE ALL FUCKING DIE - LEE WHY YPU NUMB MY HYPOCAMPUS SINCE BIRTH - DARNIECE HER BLOODLINE HUNTS US SINCE THOMAS JEFF right .. Benni Frank. - GEORGE WASHINGTON .. illuminating the idiocity with Benni frank dropping in here and there semion toko - U DONT DESERVE GOD CAUSE YOU KEEP DOING DUMB SHIT TO DIE SO IMA DIE W YOU .. but YOU still gon be miserable- 3/4 EARTHLY WIPE PUT. CAUSE YOU WAS GIVEN SOOOO MANY FUCKING CHANCES TO GET IT RIGHT - NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS GOD TIL NOW BC AGAIN WHY TF WOULD YOU HARM ANYONE INSTEAD OF WORKING ON YOURSELF!??? - self harm new perspective LEE GARLINGTON HOWARD NUGENT Suicidal PARENTING

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Saturday Nov 11th, 2023

7am I have received some dumb ass news. I will be relying on this journaling shit HEAVY ASF until I can get therapist tbh. Literally wtf. How do you go from having a curfew to a weeklong sleepover at your gfs house. I have no idea how this family works anymore wtf. They don't have shit for morals and I'm sorry they don't know how to raise their kids. You think they've had enough of them to it figure out by now. Some of these are thoughts from last night. But more and more I don't want to be a part of this family, or have kids in this family. They're all really fucking shady and I want to be comfortable bringing my kids around their relatives, something I basically never had growing up. It's just another reason to stop thinking this stupid shit about getting back together bc it's really damn hard to imagine these people as grandparents, aunts and uncles like they're all really fucked up. Shit sucks but it's a harsh reality, and I've always seen the good in people, so I like them, but I can see their flaws and obviously know what not to like about them. Some people are just fucked up, and it's looking very genetic here. I'll just leave that there lol.

8am gotta get ready for work and to go see live music later! Bringing a change of clothes but if I need to come home between that's ok too I have plenty of time, I'm just bringing the clothes so I have options ❤️ let's have some fun!

5pm hello I got Starbucks and have been chilling in my car listening to NPR. I have only ingested caffeine today and I THINK that's why I right now feel very anxious. Plus I have to poop but I probably won't/ can't do that until I get home bc I will not be using a portopotty at this festival lmao. It feels so good to actually identify logical reasons (and illogical) for why I am sitting in my car feeling so anxious. Going to get out now and walk around even tho I feel shaky and nervous ik it's just my circumstances right now lol. I should probably eat something.

I need to remember that the best part about my situation is that I can enjoy the positive aspects of friendship without having to deal with the dumbass tomfoolery that made being in a functioning relationship absolutely impossible. He brought up his bike and it all came flooding back all the shit that I really disliked. The pure obsession with something so expensive and dangerous. Like good for you! I'm glad that doesn't affect me PERSONALLY anymore but talk all you want! Because I'm busy doing my shit that I enjoy and value lmao without having to suffer the consequences of your insane obsessions :) I won't be around the next time shit doesn't work out. I'll be straight up chilling probably with a jack n coke listening to an indie band while you're in financial distress bc you never took anyone's advice that actually cares about your future. Ok rant over haha

630pm Holy shit I just had a burger so good I'm sweating. Gigglewaters Speakcheesey Burger wowowow

Haha I want to text him badly. Why? He left me on open with no response to me having a good time without him. I know he's ok. I wish he here with me, but he's not and I never could make him come with me. He doesn't care to listen to what I like and literally has no original thought about it. He's so lame, all talk and no walk. Heard you loud n clear, lmk when your shit takes off. I miss the idea of having someone to go to these things with, but that's not him, it's me and my imagination lol. If I invited him to this, yk where he'd be? With his bike friends. He wouldn't want to just sit and chill w me, his ADHD brain just wouldn't let him I guess. I love him but he's not the one clearly bc he would've already wanted to leave as soon as the sun went down, or he'd be texting another girl or guilt tripping me into buying some overpriced shit from the vendors instead of *just enjoying the music peacefully and chill* he was always stressful to bring to these things bc he could not pay for anything that he wanted like his own meal and it turned a chill event into resentful burden. Always one-sided effort to do anything seriously. Now look at me. I can stay however long I want, sit wherever I want, not have to worry about entertaining a grown man seriously. It was like having a toddler but he was supposed to be my equal partner. If I wanted a baby, I'd have a baby, not a "bf". The end. Wow this journaling rocks!

[froggowivdagudvibes]

Stream just finished so i will now give my (for the most part positive) review, despite being dumb and knowing nothing about anything. Also its 2 40 am rn so bear with me

To start, the obvious one for anyone who even popped in for a second - the scuff. Never have i watched a scuffier stream in my life lol. BUT this is nothing against the hosts, performers or platform. Vstream is still in its beta stages and from what ive seen has onky had smol streams on it so far, so its only fair that the servers were struggling massively.

It was delayed 20 minutes at the start, and when it went live there was a 10 minute count down that got reset when it reached 4 or smt. There was also lag throughout the stream.

Once again, no one is to blame for this, but im a profesional reviewerewrerr (real please trust) so i gotta reviewerere all that stuff lol.

Anyway. The music was INCREDIBLE. So much talent aaaaaaaaa. I think my fav 3 have to have been rin, bao and fuyo+yuko's duet, in no particular order. (If they WERE in a particular order, then it'd be—)(welcome to another episode of Froggo is a Dumbass™)

I also loved how many different vtubers there were performing. Normally when i watch a concert it'll be from a large agency (holosanji, vshojo) and ill know everyone performing. Ive never seen a concert where im introduced to new incredible talents on top of hearing amazing performances from the talents i DO already know.

Of course this is only from my personal experiences, but i dont see many of these collab-concert-thingies and i think the world would be a better place if we had more of em lol.

Now the main thing ofc - IDOL 3D REAL?????

The chibis were so frickin cuteeee aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I do remember a few months ago idol teased 3d chibi models for them all, but id kinda just forgotten abt it after a while. They were SO CUTE THO especially rins model (im not biased but i may be biased).

On the topic of rin. HER DANCE. SHES JUST A LIL DUDE AND I AM HERE FOR IT. AAAAAAA TMW WHEN MY BRIAN IS WORKING IM GONNA WATCH THE VOD AND MAKE GIFS OF ALL RINS GOOFY SILLY DANCE MOVES. Im not creepy im just bad at wording things to make myself sound not creepy.

I also found it funny when pochi appeared during fuyo and yukos performance lmao. Im curious tho as to why pochi wasnt singing. Idk, i mean come to think of it i dont think ive ever heard her sing so ig it could just be that shes nit rlly a singer, but she doesnt strike me like that sorta person.

I would have a look on yt for her singing, but despite it being less work than writing this, my small tired brain is insistent that its more.

Also, and ik this doesnt have much to do with the concert itself, but the chat was so lovely for the most part (there were one or two less good moments but thats always gonna be the case bcuz ✨️society✨️ and shit).

I didnt get to interract with the chat bcuz of accounts n stuff, and i prob wouldnt have anyway bcuz my internet decided to die on me AS THE SCUFF WAS HAPPENING so i was kinda scared to do too much at once, but from what i saw everyone seemed like a lovely person.

Everything considered, i give the stream a

9.imtired/10

Im gonna leave it here bcuz its now 3 05 am and i need fuckin sleep. Happy chrimmus eve ppl (lol i never imagined id be spending christmas eve morning like this but nvm)

*collapses and actually fucking dies*

This concert with esekai n some other people who i can't remember is SO FUCKING FUNNY bcuz istg its the most under the radar, hidden concert ive ever come across n its a 3d live which implies esekai will be doing it in 3d AND NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS ABOUT IT. Its not even on twitch or yt its on this weird ass new beta site thing that i cant remember the name of lmao. And also. I check the list of ppl performing n BAOS GONNA BE THERE???? BAO THE WHALE. WUT????? BAOS DOING A 3D CONCERT WITH ESEKAI N SUM OTHER GIRLS AND NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS ABT IT.

https://vstream.com/v/9V4Q.neSSfS3v.EqFrppBQ

Heres the link if you wanna watch lol, and dw abt making an acc, i dont hav discord but i checked n turns out you dont need an acc to watch, just to comment.

In a few yrs or smt someones gonna be like "oh yeah and yk that one concert with bao n esekai n stuff" and ppl jus gonna be so confuddled. Its only gonna be a select few of us that even know it happened and thats just so funny to me.

[sixosix]

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔: 𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒

blurb you’re trying to flirt with your best friend; kuroo’s losing his fucking mind.

# gn!reader, fluff, slight angst(?) bc kuroo’s a dumb bitch, friends to lovers :)

your shirt’s askew, revealing the smooth skin of your neck.

kuroo stares.

he’s not sure how long you’ve been looking like that, but it sure as hell feels like it’s been forever. he feels his face burning, but nothing else is coming to mind. he’s zeroed in on the exposed slope of your neck, and he feels like he can't breathe. or maybe he's breathing too hard.

you wave a hand. “kuroo…? you with me?”

he exhales, hard. “sorry—” he forces himself to calm down; to think about anything but biting you like a crazed vampire. “sorry, sorry. just, remembered something.”

you tilt your head, and it shows the slope of your— kuroo chokes, but mentally. “about?”

about how much i’m in love with you.

what? kuroo recoils at his own thoughts.

“nothing important,” he lies through his own teeth.

your eyes seem to lose brightness for a split second, had kuroo not been paying attention. “oh, alright.” you turn away from him, fixing your shirt.

why does it feel like kuroo’s not the only one disappointed?

you’re on his lap.

okay, he seriously doesn’t know how you pair ended here. it was only supposed to be a movie night (when is it only just a movie night, tetsu-chan? a voice that suspiciously sounds like oikawa whispers in his mind) but then you two inched closer and closer to each other like a gravitational pull.

and now you’re sleeping on his chest and kuroo is just melting because you look so adorable that he wants to kiss the hell out of you. but you’re asleep, peaceful and unaware of his internal conflict—like always.

“love you, tetsu,” you murmur sleepily against his chest as kuroo stiffens.

he runs a hand through his face, exhaling deeply.

“love you, too.”

“this is bad,” kuroo says into the phone next to his ear, gripping the pillow on his lap like it’s offended him. “this is really, really bad.”

it’s the fifth day of kuroo losing his shit while you unintentionally flirt with him while in the same house.

“you’re just making it bad,” kenma says. kuroo hears the clicking of kenma’s mechanical keyboard—it sounds extremely expensive. his best friend sighs, “i don’t get why you don’t just admit it to y/n.”

kuroo bristles at the thought, scowling at an imaginary kenma right in front of him. “you want me to just— hey, baby, this sounds crazy and you might slap me after this, but i am in love with you and have been since middle school!”

he scratches the nape of his neck, suddenly embarrassed at kenma’s deadpanned silence.

“i was talking about y/n giving you awkward bo—”

“woah, woah, hey! keep it PG!” oikawa shrieks, and it’s a painful sound. kuroo honestly forgot that he’s also on the call. “but kenma-chan is right, you know? kuroo tetsurou, you’re not only going to die a virgin—but also a coward for never confessing!”

“i’d rather die both than have y/n avoid me,” kuroo murmurs, and his brain decides to be a bitch and give him a flashback on how you looked so cute with his shirt.

kenma stops clicking, muttering an interested: “oh?”

oikawa makes a noise that sounds part amazed and part bewildered. “wow, you really love y/n-chan, don’t you? i thought this was just horny-kuroo speaking, but this is past that.”

“it’s been past that for ages,” kuroo hisses. “and now i’m torn between just kissing the life out of y/n and hibernating in my room for even thinking about that.”

“nevermind, you’re just really stupid,” kenma goes back to clicking.

sugawara—again, kuroo doesn’t know how they’re here—laughs; it’s the evil one. “we all know that. how could we even expect it to be different?”

“hey, shut the fuck up!” kuroo barks as oikawa cackles, followed by a thump. kuroo assumes he fell on the floor. “just because i’m at the top of my class doesn’t mean you should be jealous.”

“king of the class yet also king of being obliviously a dumbass,” kenma says; and it’s even worse when kenma teases him because it’s so deadpanned that he sounds deadly serious.

kuroo leaves the call, throwing his arms in the air.

he wanted some bro talk. he wanted some bro advice. instead, he got some bro-punch in the bro-face because his friends are keeping an inside joke from kuroo—and they keep saying you’ll find out when the time is right!

kuroo catches a glimpse of you from outside his room where his door is pushed open: you smiling at your phone. it’s a soft smile, and it looks good on you. he wonders when you’ll give that to him.

kuroo sighs to himself, turning away.

when will the time ever be right?

“guys, i think i’m giving up,” you announce one faithful day, walking into the kitchen while kuroo’s rereading his school materials.

kuroo listens half-heartedly, wondering who you’re talking to. and then he keeps reminding himself to focus on his goddamn chemistry textbook.

“no, dumbass. i tried everything!” you yell into the phone, pouring water in a glass. but with one hand on the phone, it wobbles dangerously.

without thinking too much, kuroo rushes to your side, standing right behind you as he steadies the glass for your sake. he will get a heart attack if you break this glass and get it all over you—and he does not want to get one right now.

your warmth is a distraction, and he barely catches it when you smile and thank him.

the person on the phone continues talking as you fill the glass to the very brim, and kuroo finally allows himself to release his grip.

“careful,” he says. “that one’s heavier.”

“gotcha,” you say, grinning in amusement. “no, tooru—” what? you’re talking to oikawa? “i’m not trying to be subtle… tips? fuck that book! that was written by a man anyway, i should know what i’m doing better.”

speaking of, kuroo should probably go back to his textbook.

“yes, i’m just going to do it,” you grumble, and kuroo actually likes that nose wrinkle you do. it’s cute. he pokes it and you stick your tongue out at him. “yeah, he’s right in front of me; you get to have a front row seat.”

but you’re also holding onto his wrist so he’s kind of stuck right now.

you look up at kuroo, stating: “tetsurou, i have been trying to flirt with you for the past week. tell me now, are you not interested in me or?”

“what.”

“that’s not an answer.”

kuroo’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. “you’re serious.”

“as serious as i have been flirting with you,” you answer back.

“what the fuck,” kuroo breathes, and he’s sure he’s blushing madly because you’re unable to hold in your little giggles that make him feel warmer. “what the fuck.”

“still not an answer.”

“i’m fucking in love with you,” he adds hurriedly, knocking the phone away from your grasp in lieu of holding your face. he tries to convince himself that this is real. “and i am so sorry that i am ridiculously stupid.”

“oh,” your eyes soften, hands coming on top of his, “me too. i’ve been in love with you for months now. it’s kind of driving me crazy.”

“try years.”

you huff sharp laughter, squeezing his hands—and he melts into your touch, knocking your foreheads together. “so competitive. are you gonna kill block me from a kiss now?”

“never in my life,” he mutters, and slots his lips into yours; like the way he could’ve been doing all this time.

“can you wear my shirt again? that one really got me going.”

“i’m still here!” oikawa shrieks, mortified.

haikyuu taglist [ @crystal-lilac @jaepann @bun-ina ]

[hanmasghost]

Peepaw Ran learning how to use a mobile

A/N: all my brain rot in one post, omg

Pronouns: He/Him

Tags: @reallyromealone

Warning(s): strong language

You, son of Ran Haitani, sat there at your guys’ island table that sat in the middle of your kitchen, with your father teaching him how to use a mobile phone.

It was hilarious honestly.

It was what? 2018?! And he didn’t know how to use a mobile phone?!

Old geezer need to learn at some point right? So here you are, teaching the 31 year old man how to use one.

“No dad..” you sighed “you press this button, not that one” you explained as you rolled you eyes at the man who was trying to figure out how to add a contact to his phone.

Your uncle Rindou on the other hand, instead of helping you with his brother, was there on the other side of the island table, howling with laughter as you endured the torture of your dumbass father.

“BAHAHHAHAHA I CANT BELIEVE YOURE SO DUMB!! OH MY GOD- I CANT BREATHE HOLY SHIT!!” Rindou laughed out.

“SHUT UP MIDGET!” The bonten executive, Ran shouted back at his brother.

“Who’s number are you gonna need anyway? I’m not gonna talk to the bastard!”

“I SAID SHUT IT SHORTIE!!” Ran yelled, seeming to get ready to throw the mobile at his brother.

“Oi! Peepaw, pay attention, or you’re gonna have to learn from YouTube.”

“That app that you watch all those videos on?”

“No the blank screen he stares at. Yes that one dumbass!”

“Give your older brother some respect, you bastard.”

“Pffft… and uncle Sanzu said you and uncle Rin use to get along” you mumbled, holding back a laugh.

“The pinkie pie haired bitch said what?” Ran, who happened to hear what you said, questioned.

“I don’t know, why don’t you call him and ask.” You paused, “if you can even remember how to… pfft..” you laughed, mumbling as you looked away from Ran.

Cause if you looked at him right now? You’d probably burst into tears laughing out loud.

While Ran didn’t hear you, Rindou did.

And he, unlike you, didn’t try to hold his laugh.

“What? What’s so funny?!”

“Your mom.”

“WE HAVE THE SAME MOM??? WHAT?!?”

As they started to bicker, you just walked away.

It’s fine right? He can just learn from YouTube… if he figures out how to get into the app anyways.

[hoe-doroki]

steel and lace

minors do not interact

warnings: 18+, anal play, sex toys, voyeuristic fantasy, scratching, creampie

pairing: bakugou x fem!reader

wc: 3.8k

summary: The only one who manages to get Bakugou’s birthday right is you.

a/n: This is my addition to the Bakugou Birthday Bash collab (masterlist). Many thanks to @lady-bakuhoe​ for helping me flesh out the ideas with this story!! You were integral to this idea, love! And additional thanks to @whats-her-quirk​ and @therealvalkyrie​ for beta reading <333

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

Bakugou never took work off on his birthday.

Never. Why would he? Villains didn’t give a shit that this was the day the old hag had unceremoniously had him evacuated into a hospital room however many years ago. They didn’t give a shit that his friends—who were also heroes who should be fucking working, by the way—wanna come over to his house and surprise him. As though his reconnaissance-trained ears weren’t as fucking fine tuned at hearing idiots on the other side of the door as theirs.

What villains should care about was that he was a year older, wiser, and fucking stronger, and he was going to kick all their asses. That was what he told all his idiot friends every year when they asked him if he was going to take off work.

Every year he regretted it.

The idiots he works with really must not care about hero work, because every year they want to send him out on a field post sugar crash from some store-bought cake with his name on it. Or buy him gifts that he’ll probably toss in the trash on the way home. He’s not being rude; he just doesn’t need junk that he never would have bought himself in the first place.

Everyone is always grinning at him, wishing him a happy birthday—as though he’s any goddamn happier to see their ugly mugs flapping their lips at him—and trying to start stupid-ass conversations. If he doesn’t like small talk normally, why would he want it on his birthday?

And the singing.

If people really wanted to wish him a happy birthday, they’d find a way to do it silently while doing some respectable fucking hero work. Make his day easier.

But no, none of that was what happened. So he should have just stayed home. Let the villains have a fucking field day on April 20th, and he could have his real gift killing them all tomorrow on the 21st.

But, unfortunately, he was a dumbass and had gone to work anyway, like he’d learned nothing from the last many years of antics. And the continued antics had got him a little pissy. And when he was pissed off, his heart rate increased, his breathing grew heavier, and, of course, he sweat.

Well. Guess what happened?

“Bakugou, I am currently paying to treat burns and fractures on three villains. Care to explain?”

Best Jeanist was sitting in his office chair, blinding sunlight streaming in behind him. Late afternoon sun—darker in color but way more resentful towards human eyes, apparently. It was reflecting off of all of the neighboring glass corporate buildings, making Bakugou squint behind his mask.

Bakugou shrugged, petulant as he stood behind his chair instead of sitting in it. “Overkill.”

Best Jeanist nodded. “Did you…lose control?”

“Tch,” Bakugou scoffed. As if he ever lost control. “Villains were weaker than I thought.”

Bakugou felt the stare of that one fucking eye and stood firm. He knew he was looking at a suspension, hopefully just for a day or two. It wasn’t like he’d done anything terrible. Villains got hurt sometimes, just like pros did, and they got their care and then they got their justice. It’s not like Bakugou was violent on purpose. Anymore. And Jeanist sure as hell knew that, so it wouldn’t take Bakugou off the field for more than a slap on the wrist. He probably wouldn’t even be technically suspended. Just chained by the fucking dick to his desk with some paperwork.

“Just…” Bakugou braced for it, narrowing his eyes but keeping his snarl to a minimum. “Just be more careful next time. Shower and go home—see you tomorrow.”

Bakugou’s jaw dropped. He closed it quickly, trying not to look like Dunce Face in front of his boss, but in all that was real and true what? He was just about to say something—he didn’t know what, probably something insubordinate—when Best Jeanist took out his own paperwork and waved him away.

“Happy birthday, Bakugou.”

Oh. So that was it.

Bakugou grit his teeth. Happy fucking birthday indeed.

It was nothing. His brain told him over and over again that it was fucking nothing. He hadn’t been punished, he hadn’t even really done anything wrong; he just hadn’t been squeaky clean up to fucking code. He could still show up for work tomorrow, business as usual. He should be tickled fucking pink.

But he wasn’t. Special treatment for being the birthday boy? What was he? Five years old and given a pass after stealing the chicken nuggets off Deku’s plate? Jesus Christ.

And if he was honest, he was mostly pissed at himself. Sure, he could blame how the weather always seemed to sprint from spring to summer around his birthday every year, strengthening his quirk. He could blame the villains for being weak enough that they had no business even stepping foot in his neighborhood. But losing control of his quirk even a little—and it had been a little—was fucking amateur and he’d have to pencil in some extra time at the gym. Maybe snatch Shitty Hair for some sparring, and, unfortunately, probably nab an extra therapy session and talk about this anger thing again.

At least walking instead of sitting on that stifling, crowded train car was doing him some good. Let him cool off a bit before he got home and you saw that something was wrong. He was nearly entirely relaxed by the time he got to his building’s lobby, even having the grace to nod at the concierge—who didn’t know it was his birthday, thank God—before heading up the elevator.

When he got off on his floor, it suddenly occurred to him that you might have done something truly repulsive, like inviting his friends over. He could imagine Shitty Hair’s shitty fucking hair sticking up from behind your sofa as he tried to hide before leaping up and yelling surprise.

Well, if that was the case, then the surprise was going to be him kicking all his dumb friends out of the apartment with one foot. Ain’t no way he was going to host a party on his birthday.

It turned out his worry was for nothing, though, because when he turned the knob—fully braced to punch out some teeth with his other hand—he was greeted with a totally bare apartment.

Like barren.

For starters, it was perfectly clean. Bakugou kept a tidy house normally, but this was certainly cleaner than he’d left it this morning. But more than that, there was nothing extra lying around. No stupid friends. No presents. No cake or even the smell of one. It was almost disconcerting.

No, it was a relief. A relief because he didn’t want any of that stuff. He’d had the slice of cake at work—and was slightly hangry now to show for it—and wasn’t interested in having another. And even though you’d choose better gifts than the extras at work would, it was nothing he couldn’t buy himself. So no, this was perfect. He was absolutely not disappointed. Maybe a bit confused. But not disappointed.

He took his shoes off and set his things on the small table by the door. Then he wandered into the kitchen, downed some water, and thought about what he might make for dinner. He might have expected that you and he would make dinner together or maybe even that you would have surprised him with something, but he didn’t mind doing it alone. It wasn’t like he’d learned to cook just to find a housewife someday to con into doing it all for him.

He decided to go to the bedroom first to plug in his phone. He was just sliding it out of his pocket when he opened the door, saw you, and stopped short.

You were on the bed—not in bed, but on it—wearing a black zip up with his signature orange x over the chest. You were on your knees with your legs spread wide, looking him dead in the eye with a deadly smirk on your face, painted in bright lipstick.

“New prototype. You like?”

The two of you had met when you were scouted from his parents’ business to design the clothing for his first merchandise line. He’d sworn off dating you from the beginning, because the last thing he wanted was to give the old hag anything to say about, firstly, her being at all responsible for finding  him a girlfriend or secondly, the fact that dating a fashion designer would mean he was dating his parents. He’d said fuck that to anyone who would listen.

But you’d gotten his brain from the beginning. Your designs were all sick from the sketch to mock up to the prototypes you always wore for him. Maybe he was a simple man for falling for a girl dressed in his colors, aiming to please him, but fuck it. You were talented, too smart for your own good, and pretty as hell.

So what? Now he had a dream girlfriend and one more reason to fight with his mom. Net positive for sure.

Still, that jacket wasn’t a prototype. That was from his first official line, no doubt, and he’d seen you wear it hundreds of times. He knew from here how much it would smell like detergent and how much like you.

You caught his eyes, raised your brows once, and then pulled the zip on the sweatshirt.

Underneath was nothing but lace and ribbon, contrasting the black and orange of the sweatshirt with moss green outlining your silhouette. The moss green from his gauntlets and his belt was caged around you in the thinnest strips of fabric, scraps of floral barely covering your breasts and pussy. The lingerie was an all-in-one, with the tiny bra connected to the panties by a few ribbons crossing over your belly. Not hiding a damn thing, but showing it off for all its worth.

“Fuck,” Bakugou groaned when the sweatshirt hit the bed, your arms still in the sleeves, but the look underneath now fully revealed to him. He could feel the blood going to his dick, just seeing you on display like that getting him up to half mast in seconds.

“Not a lot of coverage on this version,” you mused, sticking your thumb under a bra strap. “Maybe an edit for the second try?”

Bakugou growled, taking a step forward, but you weren’t done just yet.

“I was also thinking maybe full panties next time,” you said, turning around, sitting on your heels. The sweatshirt hung just below your ass, framing round cheeks that were caged by thin elastic crosses, and that was it. Not so much as a triangle of fabric to speak of. “Maybe write: Property of Dynamight on them? Or is that too much text?”

That was all it took for Bakugou to pounce. One arc of his fist had his shirt thrown with a smack to the floor and then his hands were on your shoulders, spinning you face up as he pushed you flat on the bed.

“You know I don’t like unnecessary words,” he growled.

And then he was kissing you, a hand running up the falke stockings pinned on your thighs as you pulled your arms out of the sweatshirt. One leg came up automatically to wrap around his hip, and Bakugou began rutting against your center, fully hard already. On his second grinding thrust, his pants snagged on the scrap of lace you were wearing. Wetness was already glistening on his trousers and he moved his thumb down to your core, groaning at what he felt.

“Crotchless panties?” he mumbled against your mouth. “You’re making this too easy, sweetheart.”

“Shouldn’t have to work so hard on your birthday,” you mewled.

There was a rumble in Bakugou’s throat, half scoff, half chuckle. “Yeah, remind me of that next year, will you?”

You were soaked already—the swipe of his thumb told you that much. Either you’d gotten really excited when he’d texted you that he was coming home early, or you’d…gotten yourself excited at some point after. Either way, it meant that foreplay could wait for round two.

He pulled his thumb away from your core and pressed it against your lip, smudging what lipstick had survived the kisses down your chin. You were half ruined already. You stuck your tongue out and licked at essence on his thumb before sucking it into your mouth, eyes wide as you looked up at him. Fuck, he could feel himself straining against his pants, grinding circles against your half-bare cunt for a spot of relief.

After you licked him clean, he took his hand back, leaving your mouth open and wanting as he began to fuss with the front of his pants. He caught your smudged lips again, holding your jaw with one hand as he pushed his pants down with the other. He pulled his lower half away from you, kicking off the pants—hadn’t bothered with boxers for the commute home—and let them slide off the edge of the bed.

“Ready?” he asked.

Your smile was big and you bit the tip of your tongue, nodding your head twice. That was all he needed. He grabbed his cock in his fist and slid it through your wetness just once, and then he pushed himself in.

Immediately, he felt the drag of something hard and angled against your lower wall right along his cock, pressing from tip to base as he slid home inside of you.

“Woah,” he groaned. “What the fuck?”

You giggled, the action making your walls flutter against him.

“Got myself a new toy,” you said coyly, wrapping your legs around his hips. “Promise you can get yourself something pretty on my birthday too.”

Bakugou reach a hand around your thigh, feeling the elastic garter pulled taut against the stockings that were rubbing so deliciously against his back and his hips. He grabbed a handful of your ass, and the tips of his fingers felt a rounded edge of warm metal slid just between your ass cheeks.

“You fucking naughty minx.” Bakugou grinned, showing all his teeth, rearing back out of you before thrusting back in, feeling the novel pressure of the toy on the way out and back.

No wonder you had been so wet to begin with. You must have lubed yourself up before putting in that butt plug—which wasn’t small, from what he could feel of it. He could imagine you, one leg up on the sink, ass sticking out as you fingered yourself, mouth dropping open when you inserted the toy. How cold it would have been when it first touched your pert little hole and how you’d gotten it all warm for him as you waited with your little secret for him to get home.

“It’s curved to hit prostates,” you gasped as Bakugou rocked hard, steady thrusts into you. “In case you’re interested.”

The thought, much to Bakugou’s surprise, sent a thrill right through his belly down to his dick. He couldn’t help but slam rapidly into you, making your eyes roll back. Fuck, was that something he wanted? It wasn’t something he’d ever thought about, and he didn’t have the mind right now to ponder it.

“God you feel so big.”

“You feel so tight, sweetheart,” Bakugou grunted, refusing to acknowledge the fresh heat that was on his cheeks after your previous comment. “Squeezing me from all sides.”

The butt plug left it so there was barely enough room in your pussy for his cock to pump in and out. The pressure was hard on one side, making him fucking twitch every time the head of his cock caught against it, leading him to opt for long, deep thrusts in and out of you. It was so good that he didn’t even care if the only present he got for his birthday was a little hunk of stainless steel halfway up your ass. He’d gotten home five minutes ago and already he could feel his balls tightening, threatening to bust a nut.

“Just think of it, Katsuki,” you said, your voice dreamy as he fucked you raw. “All the women wearing this set, thinking of you when they show it off for their partners. All wishing that you were the one fucking them. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby? But they’ll never have anything but their husband’s sad cock that they pretend is yours.”

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled, putting a hand on the headboard and nearly splintering it in his grip. You were riling him up and it made him want to press his palm flat against the burnished oak and let off his quirk, send shards flying. His hand was already drenched with more sweat than it should have been, just like with those villains earlier. Goddamn this time of year. He couldn’t help it; his quirk begged for it. He was in dire need of release of some kind, and it wasn’t like he could cum yet. He had to know how your pussy felt when it convulsed around him, ass cheeks tensing and squeezing that toy hard against his cock until he was spurting into you.

Bakugou let off a few crackling pops from his palm, moaning as relief filled him, the tension lessened for a moment. A faint smell of wood smoke spread through the room, slightly embittered by the resin blackening around his hand. One more scorch mark on the bed frame. You groaned underneath him, taken by the sight of Bakugou’s ever-tight control slipping for you. You knew he’d fuck you through the bed until the rest of the frame gave way if he wanted. You’d both be flat on a busted mattress and he’d keep going until he felt you clench around him.

“How’s that sound, Katsu?” you continued, your voice growing higher as Bakugou took his hand off the headboard and pressed four fingers, still sweaty and heated from his quirk, against the lace covering your clit. It was soaked through. “A-Ah, you’d like the idea of a woman home alone, dressed up just for you, fucking herself on the dildo she hides in the back of your closet, screaming out your name and hoping to God that her neighbors don’t hear?”

Bakugou couldn’t do the long, slow thrusts anymore. Your legs had grown tighter around his waist, your calves soft and silken against his ass as he kept his thrusts deep. The butt plug was rubbing against the base of his cock as he pounded into you, his fingers swiping over your clit with little finesse, but speed and steady pressure making up for it.

“But no matter…” you continued, the words coming out in little huffs as you panted with your head thrown back. Bakugou couldn’t resist leaning down and licking a line up the length of your neck, biting your earlobe when he got to the top, “no dildo, no matter how expensive, no matter how long and fat, will be good enough. The whole time…they’ll know they’re missing out. Oh, fuck.”

All of a sudden, your thighs were squeezing tight against his hip bones, arms thrown over his back and finger scratching hot lines that would mark him even more as yours tomorrow. Then you were gasping, walls squeezing and Bakugou fought against your grip to pull out just enough so that the metal toy was rubbing just over the cleft of his head with every convulsion.

He didn’t stand a chance. There was hardly any warning before he was cumming into you, streaks of his seed dribbling out of you. He couldn’t even pump himself through it; you were gripping him so tightly and, more than that, he didn’t want to move. Everything was white hot, so he just waited it out, barely moving save for where his hand was still rubbing over your clit.

Eventually you stopped him, grabbing his wrist just as the grip of your cunt loosened around him. Then you brought his hand, glistening with moisture, up to your mouth, and broadly laved your tongue from the base of his fingers to the tips, looking him dead in the eye. You then brought his hand down to your neck, and allowed him to streak the combined fluids across and down your décolletage.

Fuck—there was no way he was going to work on his birthday next year. He’d let villains overtake the city first.

“They’ll know they’re missing out,” you breathed, and it took Bakugou a second to figure out that you were continuing your voyeuristic fantasy from before, playing it out to the end, “They might even think they understand. But the only one who will truly know, is me.”

You smiled, your eyes and grin both heavy, sleepy, sated.

“Got that fucking right,” Bakugou said, pulling out of you, his cum already dripping down your ass. He eyed it, only catching a glimpse of the glinting metal plug before your legs fell to the bed, spread and limp. He smacked your hip lightly with one hand. “Roll over.”

In no mood to argue, you flipped willingly, ass up, plug still hidden from view. The lingerie was damp in some spots from where your wetness had spilled from your pussy. He leaned his mouth towards one of the strips of elastic stretching against the swell of your ass and bit. You gasped, back arching, and Katsuki smirked as he pulled away.

“A fucking lingerie line?”

A chuckle escaped your throat. “It was supposed to be a joke, but now…”

Katsuki pinched the elastic with his fingers and snapped it, watching the slight jiggle of your cheeks as you jolted. “No.”

“But Katsuki,” you whined.

“Mm,” he amended, as close to ‘maybe’ as you were going to get. You both could always talk about the idea—truly ridiculous idea—later. Katsuki put a hand on one cheek under the strips of lingerie and spread it.

There was the plug, a stainless steel handle. It was thin and shaped like an oblong donut, not like one of those cheap bejeweled things. This one, even just what he could see of it, screamed quality, and, for a moment, Bakugou wondered again what it would be like to wear. If you’d gotten it in, he sure as fuck could. And he did hold a certain anatomical advantage in using it.

He put his thumb and forefinger to the phalange and gave the toy a twist, pressing it just slightly deeper into your hole. You groaned, your voice low and deep in the pillow like when he gave you a back massage. He smirked and kept at it. Seemed this was a birthday gift for him after all.

“Katsu, don’t tease,” you moaned. “Sensitive.”

Bakugou, however, had no mercy. He flipped you over again, pulling a little yelp from you, and then picked you up bridal style, carrying you off the bed.

“Where are we going?” you asked, your voice suddenly much more awake.

“Shower,” he answered simply. He squeezed the meat of your upper thigh. Not quite your ass but close enough for the point to be made. “I’m not done with my present yet.”

[emilysshortstories]

Paul Lahote Part 2

Don’t really know what to call this, but thanks for all the love on the last part. I’m gonna try and post weekly but I work a lot so no promises.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it. cussing, hints towards abuse.

After a few weeks went by things seemed to work themselves out between Jacob and Bella. I would drive out to Emily’s about once a week, Paul conveniently never being there. Which I was actually kinda glad about, although I felt eager to be around him, Jared told me about his anger issues so I think it’s better for me to steer clear of him until this eagerness goes away. Anger issues scare me. 

Jared and I have gotten close through these visits, always laughing at each other's sarcastic jokes and ending the night with an episode of New Girl. That was usually the time when everyone else bailed but I didn’t care, it gave Jared and I some hilarious inside jokes. No matter how close we got, our feelings for each other never grew past platonic, though I would rarely catch Sam giving Jared a look. It was never all knowing “when are you going to ask her out?” look, more of a “back off” look. But that could just be me reading into it too much, there is nothing. I am thinking too much. I’m just happy I finally made a friend of my own. 

One day when I arrived at Emily’s for dinner, there was a new face in the crowd. “Y/N! You’re here!” said Emily as I walked in. “Hey! This is for you. It’s a cake for later” I said, handing her the grocery bag in my hands. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. This is Seth, Harry’s son.” Emily pointed to the unfamiliar face. “Hi, I’m Y/N, Charlie Swan’s niece.” I introduced myself, but Seth just kind of stared at me, never saying a word. Jared’s laughing was what broke the silence. “What are you laughing at dick nose?” I asked, hoping not to embarrass Seth. “Nothing, just your ability to woo people” 

“Very funny, I don’t woo anyone, you’re imagining things. How Emily puts up with you is beyond me.”

“IT’S NOT WITHOUT GREAT DIFFICULTY” Emily yelled from the kitchen before walking towards us. “Paul isn’t going to show up again?” she added.

“Nope” Embry said “ Too stubborn for his own good, the dumbass”

“Hey, if he doesn’t want to meet me that’s fine. It’s none of my business.” I say, hoping to ease Emily’s thoughts, seeming it always bothers her when he doesn’t show up. 

We all seemed to move past it and dinner was great, as usual. “Hey, instead of New Girl do you want to take a walk? I’ll show you the hiking trails around here.” Jared asked me.

“Sounds great” I said with a smile.

“Can I join you guys?” Seth asks like a small child which made me have to suppress a giggle. Poor boy had been staring at me all night like a lost puppy, he was cute no doubt, but being 5 years younger than me was a deal breaker. 

“No, Jared has something important to explain to her. Remember?” Sam said like he was Seth’s father. He seemed to always be incharge of everything around these guys so that didn’t surprise me. I definitely wouldn’t call them a cult, but club would be a better term, seeming as a hierarchy was apparent. 

“Seth likes you” Jared said as soon as we walked out of the house. “Wow! Way to out your friend there! Remind me to never trust you with a secret. Plus you don’t know that for certain, he just met me.” I said and Jared laughed, but didn’t say anything back. No until we were pretty deep into the woods did I ask “So what is this thing Sam said you needed to show me?” 

“Well I wanted to try and explain it to you but I have a feeling you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Your sarcasm levels are like no other to be fair, so show me.”

“Ok” he said and stopped walking. “Just brace yourself and try not to panic. I promise I won’t hurt you ok?”

“Ok” I say, trying to do what he said.

I watched. Watched him take off his shoes. Watched him back up a few feet. Watched him start to shake. Just like Paul did that day Bella slapped him. Then I watched him turn into a wolf. I was stuck. Didn’t say or do anything. I couldn’t. Just continued to watch as this wolf trotted back into the woods. My brain was blank. No thoughts, words or actions came to mind. Everyone knows the fight or flight trauma responses, but not a lot of people talk about the third: freeze. 

Jared came back, this time a human. “You okay?”. I took a deep breath and said “I’m in need of explanation please” I remembered that he wasn’t going to hurt me. 

He explained the histories, Vampires, and why he spends most of his time with the “pack”. I listened, tried to take it all in and process the copious amounts of new information, but apparently I was too quiet for Jared. “Please say something” 

“I’m alright, surprised to say the least and will need some time to process everything. But I’m not mad I promise. Thank you for telling me everything.”

“Well, that actually is not all. We just figured it would be best to wait until you’re ok with this first.” 

“There is more? Please just tell me the rest, trust me, I process better with all the information.”

“Okay, well. We can hear each other's thoughts, we are 108 degrees, and we can imprint.”

“That’s why you never wear shirts… What’s imprinting?” 

“The best way I can describe it is soulmates. When we make eye contact with them, our whole world becomes this person and we will be and do anything for them. When we are apart it’s hell, getting rejected by an imprint can really fuck you up. Make you sick. No one has ever died from being seperated from an imprint but you might as well be.”

“That sounds intense. What does that have to do with me?” 

“Paul imprinted on you. And it scared him. Still does scare him because love was never something that he wanted. That’s why he won’t see you, he isn’t mad at you. He’s in love with you and his stubbornness is eating him alive. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to listen to his obsessive thoughts all the time.” 

“Hold on. Paul is my soulmate but he doesn't want me?”

“No, he wants you. He needs you, but he’s scared. We thought if we told you, you could convince-”

“You want me to try and convince my soulmate that he should be with me?... Fuck that. You dump all this crap on me and then tell me my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me?!”

As if on cue, Paul came out of the woods “What did you do to her Jared? You hurt her?!”

“How do you know I’m in pain?”

“We feel our imprints' pain too” Jared added. 

“Oh! Perfect! So you can feel what you are doing to me asshole!” I couldn’t help but yell at Paul, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I’d never been so angry in my whole life. 

“What?”

“Jared didn’t hurt me, You did! What? You thought that I would be all sweet and understanding?! Awe my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me-”

“No it’s no like that-”

“What is it? Am I not as pretty as you thought I would be? Well I can guarantee that you were not what I had in mind either you prick! In fact you are the last person I ever wanted. Oh great! Another egotistical asshole with anger issues to make me feel like shit all the time! Let me just take off my shoes so you can sweep me off my feet properly! I’m happy you got some practice keeping your distance from me. Now keep doing it! And don’t you dare think, even for a second, that you have any sort of claim over me. I’m out of here!”

Frustrated tears flowed down my face like a waterfall while my heart felt like it had died in my stomach and air was coming into my lungs but not my head. 

“Please don’t go. I had no idea you would feel this way. I can’t be separated from you anymore, I’ll go insane-”

“GOOD! Now fuck off!” I got into my car and slammed my door before Paul ran up to me window “Ok ok you can leave, just please let me drive you home. You shouldn’t be driving like this, and it’s dark. I promise I won’t say a word. Let Jared drive you! Anything.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” My own stubbornness got the best of me and I drove away. Only this time I was dumb enough to look in the mirror to see Paul sobbing.

[bunnykawa]

i’m better than you! (oikawa x f. reader)

summary: If there was one thing Oikawa hated more than geniuses, it was your boyfriend.

a/n: thought about oikawa with a glock and it had me feeling some type of way. so here’s 6.2k words of what’s been in my head. also if you love iwa-chan, i’m deeply sorry. (btw someone replied to my last fic saying they were gonna move to the states with iwa-chan and...yeah that was funny cs this was sitting my drafts) 

warnings: 18+, yandere themes, implied character death, mentions of blood/gore, GUNPLAY!!, violence, noncon/dubcon/rape, little bit of exhibitionism?, mentions of cheating, brief mentions of stalking, abusive language/cursing

Oikawa didn’t know when it started.

It could’ve been the first time he ever saw you in school, so quiet and shy, with a pink tinge across your face when you glanced in his direction. Or it could’ve been the first time you spoke to him, with a little tremble to your lips as you struggled to form the right words that would leave a lasting impression. Maybe it was when he started noticing you were always attending his volleyball games, cheering on your school with a big stupid grin on your face.

Or maybe it was a mixture of all these little moments that made Oikawa feel what he felt. It didn’t matter what started it. All Oikawa really knew was that he was so in love with you. 

You ended up spending so much time together and blossoming such a beautiful friendship that others didn't expect to happen. It was a dream for him—seeing you smile and laugh, not caring about how you looked. And when you would tease him, it would make him laugh rather than upset him. Yes, he loved you for that. He loves everything about you. From the way you fiddled with your fingers when you had nothing else to do to your weird outbursts when you get excited. You were nothing like the girls who threw themselves at him in hopes of getting his attention. 

Often times, after you would hang out, Oikawa would pull down his pants in the privacy of his bedroom and desperately fist his cock until thick spurts of white would shoot onto anything that he was able to steal from your room from all the times he came over to your house. A picture, a shirt, his favorite pair of panties that smelled so deliciously like you, one of your socks that he wrapped around his length as he fucked his hand—absolutely anything he got his hands on that once belonged to you—was enough to have him dizzy with lust, desire, and love.

You became everything to him. If he was ever able to hold you close with his own fingertips, he would be able to die happily. He would even suffice with just a sniff of your hair while you’re actually awake instead of when you’re dead asleep in the middle of the night and he sneaks into your room through the window you always forget to lock. You couldn’t know that, though. Not like he would have been able to make a move on you so soon to make you completely his anyway.

But he would do anything for you. You were his best friend after all.

So when for the first time ever in your close friendship, you suddenly show up to his house unannounced with tears running down your cheeks and shamelessly throwing yourself into his arms, Oikawa was frozen in place for a second. 

“He cheated on me, Tooru,” you sobbed into his chest. Oh...all he could do was hold you close, bring you inside, and kiss the top of your head lovingly as your shoulders shook.

“It’s okay, Princess. Let it all out. I’m here,” he cooed.

And, wow...you smelled so good when you were awake. So sweet and pure. Absolutely beautiful...

So why the fuck would he cheat on you? 

Oikawa was angry. He was so angry he could laugh at how incredulous the situation was to him. How could he willingly treat you like shit?

After letting him take you away so easily, so Oikawa was forced to resort to pretending that he wasn’t devastatingly in love with you. After being forced to trust him with your heart, convincing himself that he would never hurt you. After having to deal with the fact that every single moment that you shared with Oikawa, that made him fall so deeply for you, was also shared with him. After hearing you scream his name at every single volleyball game you ever attended instead of "Go Tooru!"

It was true—you really were nothing like Oikawa’s fangirls. You didn’t love Oikawa like the fangirls loved him. Never yearned for Oikawa like how his fangirls did. 

You loved Iwaizumi, the former ace of Seijoh and the target of most of Oikawa’s sets. And you broke poor Oikawa’s heart every single time he witnessed a loving moment between you and Iwaizumi. He didn’t understand. He was taller, maybe even more cuter, just so much better than Iwaizumi. So why didn’t you choose him?

That’s how you ended up here; shivering in fear on Iwaizumi’s bed as he sat on the swivel chair he usually kept in his bedroom. Iwaizumi's hands and feet were tied together and the ghost of a blue bruise was forming on his right eye. The rest of his face was slightly swollen and there was a smudge of dried blood under his nose. Whenever you glance up at him, he was staring down at his hands in guilt, shame, and maybe anger and pain. But he made no move to try to get out of his restraints. It was no use.

Can we talk? Come over soon.

You received that text from Iwaizumi's number, assuming it was him. Anxiety-ridden and curious, you came to Iwaizumi's house, wondering what he could possibly say after hurting you so bad. The door was unlocked so you let yourself in, but you didn't expect a shirtless Oikawa—your best friend ever since you met him—to be sitting on the couch looking as relaxed as ever with Iwaizumi's phone in his lap. The little dry splatters of crimson liquid that kissed his skin were easy to notice.

As he led you to Iwaizumi's bedroom, your heart was pounding. And when you saw Iwaizumi in such a disheveled state, you were frozen in fear. Oikawa forced you to sit down on the bed, and you would've started screaming for help—you could've, but a metal handle sticking out of Oikawa's pocket caught your eye.

"God, I fucking hate you. Ever since you got with (Y/N), you’ve made it so hard not to rip your skull apart.”

Oikawa was standing a few feet away from Iwaizumi. A million thoughts ran through your head and every single one of them was wondering how this happened.

When did your best friend become so violent?

And when the fuck did he own a gun?

"I know. I made a goddamn mistake," Iwaizumi grunts in pain, "It's over now. We're not together anymore so-...so you don't need to be doing this dumb shit."

Oikawa laughs loudly, "That's not the point, Iwa-chan! The point is you hurt her." He's clenching and unclenching his fists in anger.

"I said I fucking know!" Iwaizumi barks. He was breathing heavily, his chest was rising and falling deeply.

Oikawa's face forms into a deep scowl. Suddenly, he pulls the black pistol out of his pocket and strikes Iwaizumi's cheek with it, making him jerk his face to the side, before pressing it against his temple. Blood drips from the side of his mouth from the sudden impact.

"Tooru," you whimper. You were shaking so bad, trying hard to stay as calm as possible in case he would try to turn the gun on you. The sight of blood made you feel sick. This whole situation was disgusting.

"You're lucky I haven't blown your brains out for stealing my girl. But hurting her, too? I should fucking shoot you right now." Maybe Iwaizumi was scared, just like you. One pull of the trigger and he would be gone in an instant. But he also looked so furious, with his jaw clenched and his eyes ablaze.

"Then shoot me, Shittykawa. Fucking do it," Iwaizumi taunts him, "Let (Y/N) see how fucked up you are. Traumatize her."

Oikawa pulls away and presses the pistol underneath his own chin in thought, before he carelessly waves it around as if it was just a toy. Every single time he moved, you jumped in your seat and your heart beat eratically. He was unpredictable. "Fuck that, I don't wanna kill you in front of (Y/N) yet. I'd rather blow her back out than blow your brains out first."

His words send a fearful shiver down your spine and makes your skin crawl. You’ve never seen this side of him before—never even expected him to be like this.

Iwaizumi growls, "You're sick."

"I'm not sick, Iwa-chan. I'm doing what's right for my girl," he said firmly. He spun the weapon between his fingers.

"She's not 'your girl.' She was never your girl!" Oikawa and Iwaizumi continued to argue, as if one of them wasn't holding a gun capable of killing everyone in the room instantly. “If this is what you consider right, then you’re just a fucking psycho!”

Why did you have to be here? In between this mess?

You cover your face with the collar of your shirt, crying and trembling with your heart threatening to pound until it jumps out of your chest and leaves you dying. The thought of someone just... getting their life stolen in the hands of someone else right in front of you was destroying your mind. Somehow, even if this was all Oikawa's twisted idea, it felt like it was your fault. 

"Tooru, I don't wanna be h-here. I... I don't want you to kill him..." you hiccup through your tears. Without you noticing, he slowly walks towards you so that he's directly in front of you, watching you break down. “I wan-wanna go h-home.”

"Put the fucking gun down, dumbass," Iwaizumi warns him.

Looking up from your shirt and desperately brushing away the tears as they fell, you're faced with the muzzle of the barrel pointed straight at you, only a mere few inches away from your terrified face. Behind the pistol was, of course, the man you thought would always protect you.

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi snarled, "Don't you dare fucking hurt her. Are you crazy?"

"Shut up, Iwa-chan! Since when did you ever care about her like I do?" Oikawa snaps at him. You stay focused on the shiny barrel of the pistol.

You could die right now. Right in front of your ex boyfriend and your soon-to-be ex best friend. Bleeding with your brains on the mattress you once shared with the man you spent a whole year loving.

All because of Oikawa.

"Why, Tooru?" you ask in a cracked voice, struggling to swallow the lump in your throat.

Oikawa smiled at you, "I'm gonna make this right, okay? I won't hurt you. I just...follow what I say, okay, Princess?"

“I don’t-” you gulp hard, trying to find your voice, “I really don’t understand any of this. I-...I hate this. I don’t wanna die. Tooru, I’m so-...I-...nng?”

The muzzle is delicately pressed between your lips suddenly, nudging your soft lips apart and cutting you off mid-sentence. You inhale sharply as you stare into Oikawa’s brown eyes, surprised and terrified of his sudden action. It throws you off guard, your body going rigid at the thought of dying at this very second.

What would your parents do? Is anyone even gonna find you? Will Iwaizumi survive? Since when did Oikawa hate you so much that he wanted to stick a gun in your mouth?

“Suck.” 

Wait, what? 

The fear on your face is instantly replaced with bewilderment. Suck? What does he mean suck? You stare at each other, the confusion evident on your face, but Oikawa couldn’t stop smiling evilly. 

“Suck on it, Princess,” Oikawa coos. Is he being serious? Even Iwaizumi, ten feet away and tied up, is looking at him as if he was an alien.

“You heard what I said, (Y/N). I won’t hurt you if you listen to me.” When you don't move, he pulls the gun back only to cock it. Your breath hitches in your throat as he places it back on your lips. "Put those sweet lips around my pistol and suck on it. Make it pretty.”

“What the fuck?” breathes Iwaizumi, gawking at Oikawa’s odd demand. 

With the sound of Oikawa cocking the gun fresh in your mind, and fueling your desire to live, you hesitantly wrap your lips around the gun. You start sucking on it, flicking your tongue against the underside of the barrel and slowly bobbing your head around it as you maintain eye contact with Oikawa through your blurry vision. It wasn’t cold, surprisingly, but the feeling of the metal in your mouth made you wince. You’re squeezing your eyes shut, ignoring your tears and trying to think of the weapon as something else.

Oikawa says nothing, his gaze never leaving you while you take his gun as if it was his own cock. The only thing flashing through his mind is that this view is absolutely perfect. Your saliva leaves a thin coating on the barrel every time you pull your head back, just to nibble on the muzzle and swirl your tongue around it, only to let half of the barrel disappear into your mouth again—and it leaves a satisfied feeling in his lower stomach seeing you attempt to submit to him so you could live. 

Slowly, he starts pushing it deeper into your mouth, almost to the back of your throat, and you recoil before he can reach that point, grabbing onto his hand that was holding the gun with both of your weak hands. “Ah, ah, ah,” he tuts in a disappointed tone, “I wanna see you take in more, Princess.” Instantly, you force yourself to relax your throat to let him invade the rest of your mouth. You hold your breath as he hits the back. You’re still trying to bob your head along the weapon, relying on your nose to give you the air that you need.

There was something really fucked up about this whole situation. A red tint is flushed across your face when you glance over at your ex boyfriend, watching you intently. He’s disgusted, that’s for sure—but when you look up to make eye contact with Oikawa, he’s far from disgusted. And it’s easier to tell, because when you trail your gaze to his lower half...

He’s rock hard—bulging from beneath the fabric of his sweats, sweet smile on his perfect face, absolutely no shame in his erection from getting his pistol sucked.

Iwaizumi always knew he was fucking weird.

But there’s an odd, yet familiar sensation, in your lower stomach—a warmth that you know all too well that only happens when Iwaizumi touches you—that makes you clench your thighs and flutter your eyes shut. Looking up at Oikawa, there’s no doubt that he knows what you’re feeling. A small smirk finds its way across his lips. 

Iwaizumi didn't know you were fucking weird, either.

Yeah, that’s what’s fucked up about this situation. Why was this turning you on, too?

Oikawa suddenly pulls the gun away, leaving a thin string of saliva following your lips to the harsh metal for a second until it disconnects. He leans in, making you hold your breath, and his lips find yours.

Soft—that’s the first thing you think about when he connects your lips. “Kiss me back,” he murmurs. 

So, you do. He feels foreign to you, strange even, and you feel quite awkward kissing him when you never even thought about kissing him before. You were beyond flustered. Despite being in such a stressful situation...he’s gentle. The tip of his tongue trails along the opening of your lips. As a habit, you part your lips and allow him to enter your mouth. 

You’re still scared. Your heart is beating so fast. Your breathing is labored from the anxiety sitting heavily on your chest.  But Oikawa is strangely calm. In fact, if he wasn’t moving against your lips right now and lapping at your tongue with his, he’d be smiling and laughing at Iwaizumi’s face. I’m kissing your ex girlfriend!

And Iwaizumi couldn’t do anything except stare. 

You push your hands against his bare shoulders to pull away. “Tooru, stop it,” you gasp out, “Hajim- Iwaizumi is right there.” You didn’t want him to see you like this. You didn’t even wanna see him in the first place after coming home to find him with another girl.

With his face close to you, he harbors a blank expression. “So, would you rather...do something else?” You pause for a second, remembering that he has a gun that’s a few inches away from you, and you reluctantly nod your head. His expression changes—a small smirk and softer, relaxed eyes, an indication that he definitely has something else in mind. Regret starts to fog your mind, but you also can’t help but be curious.

“What are you planning, Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi asks in an irritated, strained tone. He even sounded a bit...jealous? Was he actually jealous? You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

Oikawa tilts his head to the side to shoot Iwaizumi an evil smirk.

“I’m gonna fuck your ex girlfriend, Iwa-chan. Right in front of you.”

~

You never thought you'd be in this position.

It's hard to fully take in the situation when you literally feel like you're about to pass out from anxiety and all you want is for everything to be calm. At least go back to the way it used to be or how it should be—spending the rest of your time with Oikawa while eating tubs of ice cream and watching movies until you pass out together.

Instead, you're shaking like a leaf while straddling his thighs, fully exposed, soft skin pressing against his. Oikawa is completely bare, too, and while you always admired his athletic ability and perfect body, you didn't wanna see him like this. Not at all. Especially when his finger is still lazily sitting on the trigger of his pistol with it still pointed towards you, challenging you to do something so he can pull it.

It's that mischievous glint in his eyes that make you tense up the most. You want to be angry. You have every right to be, you think, but it's so difficult.

You're trying to cover up your body with your arms, holding onto the small amount of pride you have left, but it's no use when Oikawa is constantly looking you up and down. At the same time, you're trying to avoid looking down—his cock was sitting upright, hard and pulsating and...bigger than you thought he would be.

Way bigger.

"You can give it a little lick, Princess. If it'll make it easy for you."

You bite your trembling lip, shaking your head side to side, "I don't...I don't feel like it, Tooru." Oikawa moves to place his free hand on your waist, trailing his finger tips up and down, goosebumps rising on your skin.

"Just try it, baby. I won't bite," he muses, "Or would you rather I-" He picks his gun up higher. That small, annoying smile seemed to never leave his face because he knew the power he had over you at this moment.

"No," you quickly interrupt him. A chuckle vibrates in his chest at your response.

"I think I need to take care of you first, hm?" Before you can disagree with him again, he's sitting up to grab your hips. He flips you both over so he's above you. He opens your legs and lifts them up so your thighs are pressing against your stomach, exposing everything to him. You’re embarrassed, covering your face with your hands. 

“Let’s see your face, Princess. Don’t hide,” he insists, “You’re so pretty. I wish I could’ve seen you like this sooner.” You have no choice but to let your hands fall from your face. Oikawa looks so happy. In the corner of the room, Iwaizumi is muttering something under his breath with a flushed, bruised, and bleeding face. 

Oikawa runs his fingers along the skin of the underside of your thighs before placing his palms on each. He was still holding onto the weapon. It’s pressing against one of your thighs. Why did everything feel so cold? 

You flinch when he leans down towards your heat to flatten his tongue and lick a stripe up your slit. Oikawa stifles a groan at the taste of you. This was what he wanted since the first time he met you—an opportunity to make you his. He wraps his lips around the little sensitive nub at the top of your cunt and sucks on it. 

“T-Tooru,” you softly whine in uneasiness. You’re not sure if Oikawa can hear the distaste dripping at your mouth, but he keeps sucking and lapping at you as if you were the last thing he would ever eat. “I really don’t like this, Tooru. This is so embarrassing...”

He looks up at you, locking eyes with you as you silently beg him to stop. He removes one of his hands from your thighs to probe at the entrance of your pussy with his thumb. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear the familiar slick of your wetness and he spreads it around with the pad of his thumb. “You don’t seem to be that against it, (Y/N).” 

Of course you’d be wet—he’s licking and playing with your cunt. When would he understand that?

You gulp nervously, “I don’t want this, Tooru. Please.”

He hums to myself, seeming to be deep in thought as always, before he mutters, “Oh, I know what you want.” You’re confused for a second, but he moves his other hand to hold the pistol at your entrance and...what the fuck?

What the fuck?

“No! Tooru!” you gasp, moving to sit up. Oikawa quickly pushes you back down by your chest. He’s pushing the gun inside you, slowly, but surely—and you feel every single rough patch and texture on the barrel, breaking through the rings of your cunt. “No, no, no!” You’re trying to reach for him, to stop him before he continues, yet he’s able to hold you back with one arm and pushes the pistol inside your pulsing heat, stretching you with the hard metal. It’s an uncomfortable stretch because of how stiff it is. You can already feel the trigger guard pressing at your asshole from how much he filled you up.

You swear Iwaizumi whispers a “holy shit” from his place.

“This is what you wanted, hm? You wanted to get fucked by my pistol?” Oikawa coos in a sickeningly sweet tone. You’re shaking your head, bracing your arms against the bed sheets and chewing on your lip. No. This can’t be happening. “I saw how you reacted when I let you suck on it, Princess. Bet this sweet pussy was already dripping the second I put it in your mouth. I never knew you were so dirty.” He wanted to laugh. The view from between your legs was incredible. He’s glancing at Iwaizumi, who is trying very hard not to look.

“That’s not true!" you gasp. Oikawa continues to pump the gun in and out of you with slow and deliberate strokes. You hate that you feel every single ridge and dent. He leans down to give a few licks at your clit. You’re suppressing a moan in your throat, because this shouldn’t feel good. Every single time he snaps it back into you, you’re gasping for breath. The walls of your cunt are clenching around the thick barrel and it’s hot—you’re heating up from the unfamiliar object forcing its way inside you, forcing you to react. Forcing you to take it in even if your brain is screaming for mercy.

“I know you better than you know yourself,” Oikawa mutters, “You’ve been mine since the beginning. I just let him have you.” This time, you’re biting down on your fist as he continues his assault. This wasn’t the Oikawa you met and became best friends with; this was an absolute monster. Maybe this was who he was the whole entire time—a liar, a master manipulator, a delusional psychopath who couldn’t understand the chemicals behind truly loving someone. 

But that doesn’t matter right now because fuck—the consistent strokes of Oikawa fucking you with his pistol felt good. The tiny moans you’re letting out proves everything, even as you try to hold them back. It’s so hard to stop your hips from bucking against the hard metal, even harder to stop that stupid fire burning in your pelvis. God, you’re about to fucking explode.

It doesn’t feel good, you’re trying to convince yourself. This is assault. This is rape. This doesn’t feel good. You’re not turned on, you’re just terrified if he pulls the trigger—

“Let it out, baby. The gun’s still fully loaded,” he whispers against your lips with a smirk, suddenly lifting himself up to press his forehead against yours. His words were ringing loudly in your ears, reaching every single nerve in your body. You part your lips in shock, your legs are shaking violently against your chest, and your eyes are finally rolling back into your head. A loud moan erupts from your throat, high-pitched like a scream. Quickly, he connects your lips and forces his tongue inside.

Fuck.

Fuck. 

It almost hurts with how tightly you’re clenching onto the gun still inside you. But it’s one of the best feelings that you’ve ever felt because you’re cumming. You’re actually cumming. Your pussy is hot with so much shame, but you’re still gushing juices, soaking Oikawa’s hand.

You’re cumming on a fucking gun.

The room is silent as you’re coming undone. Iwaizumi is dazed, obvious from the look on his face as he’s staring at the place between your legs and the wet spots soaking the sheets. Oikawa stands upright on his knees, and you notice that his pelvis is wet from your juices. How embarrassing. How utterly fucking embarrassing. He’s pulling the gun out of your cunt and raising it up to his face, examining how your cum is running down to the handle. 

Oh, that’s really satisfying. He could take a picture right now, but he didn’t want to waste anymore time. 

"Cumming just from my pistol?" Oikawa chuckled, "So fucking dirty. I love it. I could get you pregnant right now. Pump you up with my kids, would you like that?" 

“Fuck’s sake, Shittykawa. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Iwaizumi speaks up all of a sudden. Oikawa simply scoffs at the other man before pulling you closer to rest your thighs against his hips. 

You wheeze, completely out of breath, “No, Tooru. I’m done. I need to leave.” With the palms of your hands against the mattress, you weakly try to pull yourself up and away from Oikawa’s grasp. 

“I said I was gonna fuck you, didn’t I?” Oikawa hums, pulling you back against his hips and placing his tip at your entrance. You wanna move away, and you really try to by moving to scoot away from him, but you feel so weak. He’s still holding onto his disgustingly wet gun—wet from you. Has he even put it down at all? 

"I never break promises," Oikawa sighs, with a big smile on his face, "And you’re so beautiful, (Y/N). How did I ever stop myself before? I should've taken you even if that fucker was still with you."

You’re trying to protest. You’ve been trying all night, but Oikawa is so persistent with wanting his revenge—revenge that you never even wanted. But he’s also thinking that this is it—this is the stepping stone of becoming the object of your affection. Not Iwaizumi, the man you loved and who cheated on you. Not anyone else. Just your best friend.

His hands are gripping onto your hips as he arches your back for his hips to meet yours. It’s another uncomfortable stretch as he pushes passed the fleshy walls of your pussy with his throbbing cock. You’re already wet—he has no struggle sinking into your pussy—and the squelching sound your wetness makes and the sharp whine that you let out in response to his movements are music to his ears. 

“Fuck,” he moans, “You’re tight, Princess. I thought Iwa-chan was fucking this pussy every night before.” 

It seemed like Iwaizumi wasn’t in the room at first, even if you were hyper-aware of that fact and it made your whole body become flushed. If you could hear his thoughts right now, he would most definitely be thinking that this fucking sucks. There’s a crack in your voice when you let out a low moan at Oikawa finally sheathing you on his cock. 

“How is it? Bigger than Iwa-chan?” he teases you. He pulls back only to dive deeper into your wetness. The feeling of his cock sliding against your walls makes you tremble. You’re so sensitive from how he fucked you with his gun less than five minutes ago, it’s a surprise that you haven’t passed out from the extra simulation he’s giving you. 

“Shut up,” you groan, looking off to the side. When Oikawa is comfortably settled between your folds, he leans over you to brace his hands on either side of your head. Instinctively, you wrap your small hands around his biceps as he slides in and out of you, squeezing desperately. 

Oikawa cocks his head to the side. “You don’t want to admit it, huh?” He suddenly snaps his hips sharply against yours, jerking your whole body upwards. “You don’t need to say it. I know how you feel, anyway.” It fucking hurts. His cock is longer, thicker, and going deeper than his gun was.

“How would you even know how I feel, Tooru?” you ask in a shaky tone. The anxiety never seemed to go away. Maybe you kept quivering because of your new-found fear of the brown-haired man above you, or maybe it was because you can still feel Iwaizumi burning a hole through you—he probably realized how much he hated you because if it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be sitting tied up in his own home witnessing his friend rail his ex girlfriend.

Oikawa knew, though, that it was because you couldn’t fight the way your nerves were responding to how he touched you.

“Because if you didn’t like this, you wouldn't be under me right now,” he says lowly. With his hands gripping the sheets next to your head, he forces you deeper into the mattress with his body weight. The gun next to your head would’ve made you nervous, but you were too focused on the way Oikawa’s cock was drilling into your pussy like he was trying to leave an imprint of himself there for you to remember forever.

Every time he thrusts into you with all his strength, you’re gasping and moaning, gripping onto his biceps that flexed so deliciously as he filled you up completely. Your body was betraying you, writhing beneath him, basically begging for him to give you more. To make you cum one more time from just his cock.

“You really think this is funny, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi growls. You tense up at the sound of his voice—the anger dripping in his tone. “Basically raping my ex girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa purrs, “It’s so...satisfying.” He’s building up his pace, and pretty soon he’s pounding into you with such a force that you’re struggling to let out moans and end up up letting out breaths of air and whiny squeaks. “Especially since she likes it so much. Right, (Y/N)?” Your eyes are rolling back at the sensation—you’re not even trying to deny it at this point. No matter how fucked up or disgusting you look right now, you couldn’t escape Oikawa and you couldn’t stop your pussy from sucking in his cock hopelessly like he belonged inside you.

“I fucking hate you.”

The area on your pelvis is undeniably hot now. Sweat was appearing on your skin despite being fully naked and exposed to the cold air in Iwaizumi’s bedroom. Oikawa is consistently snapping his hips into yours while you’re trying to control your own hips from trying to buck into his. Trying to hold onto what little sanity you have left before you’re ultimately forced to let go on his veiny cock.

Oikawa is your best friend—was your best friend, you don’t even know anymore. Fuck, he’s evil, giving you a warm, welcoming smile with a gun laying next to your head and ravaging your insides at the same time. This isn’t normal. But damn did this feel so fucking good.

You’re crying now, the tears running down your cheeks in a steady stream. Fuck Iwaizumi. Fuck Oikawa’s gun. Fuck the insecurity, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt that you’ve had inside you for the past few weeks after your failed relationship, crying into Oikawa’s lap every single time. Fuck everything. 

Only his name is forming at your lips, accompanied by wails of pleasure. You’ve never felt like this before, not even with Iwaizumi, who you thought would be the only person making you cum until you’re stupid. 

“F-fuck, Tooru,” you manage to gasp out. All your muscles are clenching involuntarily. It only makes Oikawa groan, your pussy unbelievably squeezing even tighter around him, pulling him inside you.

“Are you okay, my baby? You gonna cum all over my cock?” 

Your head is spinning and you just want it to stop. All you’re thinking about is how roughly Oikawa is fucking into you and the pleasure he’s bringing in waves washing over you. He’s not even touching your clit—the base of his cock is just hitting your swollen nub every time he thrusts inside of you, letting tiny shocks run through you.

“This is my pussy now,” he growls, “I’m gonna fuck this. I’m gonna stretch out this little cunt every day and you’re gonna let me, right? You’re gonna let me fill you up with my cum, too?” 

Let go, every sensor in your body is screaming.

"C'mon, Princess. Tell me. Tell Iwa-chan how much you love my cock inside you. Tell us how much you wanna be filled with my cum," he grins as he shoves his length into you roughly. He nudges your head to the side and attaches his lips to the soft skin on your neck, sucking and biting at the area. You arch your back off the bed and you don't hold back anymore—you're chanting his name, finally, begging for him.

"Tooru-mmm, please," you plead, "Fuck me, please! I'm...I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum, Tooru!"

Then Oikawa lifts himself up, bracing himself on one of his arms before bringing his gun against your lips again. You don't hesitate to stick your tongue out, letting it in your mouth this time. God, he could fucking cum at the sight of you willingly sucking on his pistol, swirling your tongue over the metal surface. He won't shoot, he just wants to see you submitting to his gun and his cock like he's a king.

It's taking everything within you to not pass out from violently twitching and spasming on his cock, letting your juices squirt all over him once you open your mouth to cry loudly. His gun is still pressing into the base of your throat, so your scream drawls out into a choking noise. Oikawa is letting out a string of curse words—your juices are coating his skin and spraying all over his cock.

Your thighs feel so sore, and you're a sputtering mess as he pulls his gun away from you. It's covered in your saliva. Oikawa is lifting himself up, panting heavily, observing the erratic movement of your chest and the red flush of your body. He doesn't bother to pull out of your convulsing cunt. Why are you still trembling like that?

But it's okay. Oikawa is so happy, so pleased. You were such a good girl—he knows for sure that you finally accept him and want him.

“Hey, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa sang with delight in his tone to catch Iwaizumi's attention. Damn, you completely forgot he was still there.

Oikawa is finally upright on his knees, leaving you sweating on the bedsheets. Iwaizumi looked up, cringing in disgust and fueled with anger and envy from watching Shittykawa himself take your body so relentlessly as you were cumming beneath him. Oikawa lifts his arm, pointing the shiny metal weapon towards the other man in the room. He was still throbbing inside you, enjoying the feeling of you still twitching gently around his cock from your orgasm. With half-lidded eyes, you look up at him weakly, suddenly admiring his toned, muscular body and the sweat glistening on his abs. You're not sure if he came inside you, but the wetness escaping your hole and the feeling of his length twitching, too, is more than enough proof that he probably did.

"What do you want now, you fucking asshole?" Iwaizumi snarls.

The words that come out next are so snarky, filled with hate and arrogance. "Just wanted to let you know that I’m better than you," Oikawa sneers, "And I don't shoot blanks."

He finally pulls the trigger. The sound of a gunshot is piercing the air and Oikawa jerks slightly from the recoil. Then it's completely silent. Your thighs are still shaking, you’re still struggling to find your voice, and your brain seems to be focusing through the haziness. He leans down to give you the sweetest kiss, as if to say that everything will be okay now. The smell in the air was suddenly pungent—a mixture of sweat, sex, gun powder and...blood? Holy shit.  You're screaming now.

Holy shit, Oikawa.

[fanfic-me-up]

Capture This! || Kaminari Denki

Synopsis: You walk in on Denki, your best friend of five years, getting off. Two questions: Why is there a picture of you? And why do you want him to take more? 

Pairing: Kaminari Denki x fem!reader

Warnings: M/E+, 18+, explicit sexual content

Word Count: 6k+

A/N: This is for the @bnhabookclub​ bingo event! Thank you @shoutogepi​ and @im-here-for-the-heroes​ for beta reading. Shout out to @whats-her-quirk​ this fic was born from me poppin in during your thirst hours lol

“Lotion? Check. Tissues? Check. Pictures?” 

Denki swallows. 

“Check.”

It’s routine for Denki, really the only ritual he sticks to in his otherwise scatterbrained schedule of kickin’ ass, chilling with friends, and playing Fortnite till ungodly hours of the morning.

But he can’t help it. You’re fucking gorgeous, and Denki has needs - his brain programmed to get off at least three times a day else he can’t function. The first time it happened, he felt a deep sense of shame, twisting his gut, disgusted with himself that he defiled your image. He couldn’t look you in the eye for a week until you had enough and demanded to know what was up. It was the first time he lied to you. 

But one time became two, and three, and suddenly Denki needed an image of you all the time. The one of you looking all pretty in that stupid summer dress was his favorite. You bought it that one time you dragged him to the mall because you needed a “guy’s opinion.” He rushed to the bathroom because if he didn’t get out fast, he was gonna drag you back into the changing room and rip that dress off himself.

You’re adorable, hot, sexy, and absolutely terrifying, wrapped up in one perfect package.

Oh, and did he forget to mention?

Totally off-limits.

This is why Denki has to resort to hanging out with you, listening to you vent about your boy problems, and how you just want to meet “the one” already. Denki’s heart breaks a little more every time you shove him deeper into the friend zone, all the while pretending like he didn’t just jerk it to you a couple hours before.

He works his hand up and down his shaft, growing harder by the second with each stroke. It doesn’t take much to get him going, not when it’s you. You’re wearing his hoodie, toes buried in the sand, roasting a marshmallow in front of a bonfire. You’re smiling at something Kirishima said, Denki doesn’t remember what, because all he could see was the light in your eyes. A genuine spark lit only when the cameras were off, and you were unaware of anyone watching. Denki loved witnessing these rare moments; wanted to commit it to memory, so he did. When you posted the picture on Instagram, Denki was more than surprised; you had scrunched your nose when he showed you the picture, displeased with how you looked.

This should not be happening. Any normal person would feel ashamed when staring at a picture of their best friend and touching themselves. No one knew about it, and Denki was surprised he was able to keep it a secret for this long considering he’s friends with fucking Mina of all people.

Enough pre-cum bubbles at the tip that he doesn’t even need the lotion. Staring at you on the screen, wearing his hoodie that’s way too big it covers your thighs completely, makes his mind wander to all sorts of ways he wishes he could get you out of that hoodie. He leans back into the chair, spreading his legs with his eyes half-lidded, imagining what your lips might look like wrapped around his cock. 

“Fuck yeah...”

Groaning at the image of you on your knees, lips bruised and slicked with spit from fucking your pretty little mouth has Denki tightening his fist, hips fucking into his hand in a continuous rhythm. 

He’s on the verge of coming when the door swings open - the first and last person Denki wants to walk in is standing there in front of him.

“Hey, I called, but you didn’t - ah!” You squeak, throwing the box you’re holding. A sea of random knick-knacks and hero merch rains over you. You hear a thump when the yellow polaroid camera you bought for Denki at a thrift shop hits the floor. 

“Fuck!” Denki jumps from his chair, an array of pens fall in a heap to the floor. 

You whip your head away, heat spikes your body, embarrassed that you saw your best friend in such a compromising position. 

Denki mutters a repeated “shit shit shit” to himself for a good minute before he finally addresses you; his voice rising with each word.

“How did you get in here!?”

“Spare key, dumbass!” 

“That’s for emergencies only!”

“Are you talking to me with your dick out!?”

Silence.

“No?”

You huff at the uncertainty in his tone. It’s only two o’clock, and you can already feel a migraine coming on.

“Denki, if I turn around and you’re not covered, so help me god I will-”

“Okay, okay, I got it. Pants are zipped.” 

You don’t move until you hear the confirming “zip” before slowly opening your eyes (you have no idea why your eyes were closed in the first place), and you turn around to find Denki leaning against the desk. He’s trying his best to appear casual, but the flush on his face and frazzled hair give away what he was doing moments before you walked in. You don’t know where it comes from, but the thought alone stirs something inside you.

The confusing emotion is replaced by hot-blooded anger when you lock eyes on the screen behind him.

“Is that my face!?” 

Denki’s smile drops as he turns around. Dammit. Of course, he forgot to close the tab.

“Uhhh…”

He has no words, none, not when you’re standing there with that intense look in your eyes you get when you’re about to rip someone a new one. Your anger could rival Bakugou’s, and Denki has unfortunately been in the middle of one too many screaming matches. He’s surprised his eardrums aren’t blown out by now.

He clicks to exit out, or at least he thinks he does until he comes to the dumb realization that he’s clicking the zoom button instead. 

“Ho-hold on, let me just…” 

With each click, it zooms a little more into your face until only your nose is in the frame. Denki sheepishly looks up at you.

“Oops?”

Denki’s had a good life. He’s already come farther than most ever dream in their career when becoming a pro-hero, and he’s made some amazing friends most spend years trying to find. The only regret of his is not confessing his true feelings to you, but really what’s one regret? He’s totally a-okay with saying goodbye to this cruel, cruel world if it meant not being subjected to this torture any longer. 

“Denki Kaminari.”

Denki gulps. Oh no. You only say his full name when you mean business. 

“Explain right this instant or I will walk out this door and tell the whole world how you and grape boy took body shots off cardboard cutouts of each other!”

“Hey! We were really fuckin’ drunk and thought it might score us some pity sex with the ladies!” 

“In what world would you licking fuckin’ Mineta equal oh yeah, fuck me, Denki?”

Denki cowers with each step you take, gulping down the lump in his throat when your face is close enough to hold in his hands. He’s never been more simultaneously turned on and terrified in his life. Especially when he just heard the words “fuck me, Denki” escape your lips.

Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Whatever you do. Don’t. Look. Down.

The last thing he wants is you flinging him out the window because he couldn’t keep his eyes on your face. Don’t get him wrong; he could look at your face forever, even when you look like your one move away from killing him. But… he’s a dude, and there’s boobs in front of him, not to mention your boobs.

“Hello? Earth to Denki?” You wave your hand in his face.

“You may wanna sit down for this.” 

“I’m fine where I am, thank you very much.” 

He huffs out a breath, annoyed you didn’t take the bait. The suggestion was more for his sanity than yours. With you standing so close, his brain is going haywire; the tantalizing scent of strawberries and cream short-circuiting his brain quicker than when he overuses his quirk. It never fails to make his mouth water, if only he could bend down and bury his nose in the crook of your neck, god, he’d never let you go.

How does he even begin to work through the feelings he has for you when they’ve been bottled up since the moment he knew he was in deep? Where does he start?

The fact he’s been in love with you for the past five years? 

Or that he’s been getting off to you for half that time? 

Denki’s mind is running a mile a minute, like a computer in overdrive. He can’t make enough sense of his emotions to convert into words. But, instead of waiting to open his mouth, like a normal person, Denki spews out embarrassing word vomit that connects his two thoughts.

“I love getting off to you.”

A pin could drop, and it’d be as loud as a freaking hurricane. 

Denki groans in frustration, facepalming his forehead. What the hell did he just say, and can he take it back? How long would it take for him to hack into a database and find someone with a time manipulation quirk? He doesn’t even know how to hack, but he’d wrangle his one brain cell and fucking learn if that’s what it takes.

He’s usually good at reading you. You’re one of the few people he cares enough to pick up on how you’re feeling. The myriad of emotions that pass on your face from shock to confusion to a hint of amusement lets Denki know he can breathe easy. At least you’re not trying to kill him anymore.

“Oh-kay that’s not what I - what I meant to say was - hold on, lemme just, rewind.”

He makes some weird, loopy gesture with his arms. His brain was firing a million synapses at once, each connected to a different thought, some deep like the fear of losing you and some not so deep - like he’s really excited to eat the cheeseburgers Bakugou promised he’d grill tonight. 

But he tries his best to reign in the million and one thoughts to focus on you, who’s waiting for an explanation. He takes a deep breath to steady his heart that’s about to beat out of his chest. He only hopes you don’t stomp on it after what he’s about to say.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I have been since our first year at U.A. I wanted to tell you for the longest time, but then you got with Bakugou. Then you broke up, and you needed a friend more than ever, and how could I say no to being ‘your best bro’ when you were crying on my shoulder? It was just never the right time.”

The more he rambled, the more uncomfortable he felt. Out of all the scenarios he imagined of how he’d confess to you, this one was at the bottom of his list to be prepared for. He never expected to be forced into confessing because you caught him masturbating to pictures of you. He rubs the back of his neck and gives an awkward laugh when you stay silent.

“I get it if you wanna, like, shun me forever or something. I deserve it for being such a creep.” 

Denki lowers his head to the floor, the clutter of fallen pens and knick-knacks looks way less intimidating than staring into your eyes. A soft hand touches his chin, lifting his face to meet yours.

“Hey, look at me, it’s okay.” 

Your voice does wonders for soothing the nerves shaking him up.

“I guess it’s not that creepy when you put it like that, and for some weird reason, you’re like the one person I can catch jacking off to my pictures, and I don’t feel the need to report you as a registered sex offender.”

It’s meant to be reassuring, but Denki’s heart drops at the idea of you labeling him as the neighborhood perv.

“Please, don’t do that,” he squeaks before clearing his throat, “But for real, Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s wrong to disrespect you like that, and I promise I won’t do it again.”

Denki has no idea how he’s gonna get off now, but that’s his future self’s problem.

“I can’t help it, you’re gorgeous, and I love ya, and I don’t remember the last time I got laid.”

Fuck. He didn’t mean to say that last part, but it’s the truth. You’re the reason he couldn’t even look at another girl, because they weren’t you, and that’s why he had to resort to pulling up pictures of you. Pictures that aren’t normally deemed “sexy” and of you dressed modestly, without much skin showing.

That doesn’t stop Denki from coming in record time with your name rolling off his lips every time.

“How bad do you want me?”

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t the least bit curious about what sex with your best friend would be like. You heard he wasn’t a bad lay from a couple girls back at U.A. 

You’d also be lying if you didn’t say you were just as horny as said best friend.

It’s difficult finding time to date as a pro-hero. When you do, it doesn’t last very long anyway - the other person growing tired of always coming second to your career. Don’t even get you started on one night stands. They’re practically impossible to uphold as once the media gets wind of it, you’re slapped on the cover of “Hero Times Magazine,” and everyone and their mother is calling for you to “spill the tea.” This is why pro-heroes either end up with other pro-heroes or end up alone. 

Denki’s eyebrows shoot straight to his hairline. If someone were to tell him you were attracted to him in any sense of the word, his heart would double-time it, but he’d ultimately brush it off. He knew your type, and he could not be farther from it. The aggressive, beefy, gym rat who could match you move for move in a heated spar of harsh words and hot-blooded passion. You dated Bakugou for fuck’s sake! There was no hope for Denki after that.

But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take what he can get. The words pour out of him like the dam’s been broken and the unforgiving flood rushes.

“I want you so bad, Y/N, fuck, I’ve waited so long, so fucking long, you don’t know how crazy you make me.” 

Your breath catches. His words have an unexpected effect on you, but your heart drums in anticipation. If you listen close enough, you can hear Denki’s beating at the same rate, waiting for what you’re going to say next. Power surges through you. In your past relationships, sex was always seen as this competition. Your exes never wanted to relinquish their pride or control, but Denki is nothing like your exes. He’s laid-back, always cracking jokes, and never dwelling too much on the past, always moving forward to the next moment. He’s perfectly fine with letting you take the reins most of the time. You determine what will happen next.

“You love getting off to me?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but he answers in earnest.

“You’re the only one I get off to.”

You slide your dress off, and it falls to the floor.

“Show me.”

Denki’s eyes travel over your body, his mouth slightly open in disbelief at your undressed state. He wants to capture this moment in case this is as much as he gets, even if he can never use this mental picture because he promised you he wouldn’t. His fingers itch to brush along the lace trim of your bra, to graze along your nipple, and watch your reaction. Are you sensitive enough where you’d full on moan, or would he have to strain to catch the small hitch of breath? Denki was never top of his class. He preferred to wing it and hope for the best, but for you, he’d take his time to study every inch and crevice of your body until he could read you cover to cover with his eyes closed. His gaze travels down to the matching lace panties you wear, a cute little bow in the front waiting to be untied with his teeth. 

Did you plan to get fucked today? Or do you usually wear matching sets on the regular? 

Your skin looks so soft and supple, he’s aching to dig his fingers, but before he can, you step away. Denki cocks his head. Have you changed your mind? But any doubt leaves Denki when you make your way across the room to sit down on the edge of the bed. 

You start with feather-light touches dancing along your collarbone. Your eyes are locked on Denki, getting high on the way he drinks in your every move. Your touches are teasing, especially when your finger dips down to your cleavage. Still, instead of giving Denki what he wants, you change course, making your way back to your shoulders. Denki exhales a breath at your teasing, but says nothing, too afraid he’ll ruin the mood if he says something stupid. 

When you make your way down again, you don’t disappoint; you pinch your nipple through your bra, and the way Denki swipes his tongue over his lip has heat rushing to your core. You slide your hand down your stomach, stopping when you reach your clothed slit. Denki stares, hungry and buzzing in anticipation for what you’ll do next. Smirking in victory, you spread your legs open and pull your panties to the side, giving him the view to capture the perfect picture of your dripping pussy.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” 

You taunt breathlessly, tracing your folds with your fingers.

Oh shit. Were you for real? Please, tell him you were for real because he legit might cry if this was some elaborate prank. Where are the fucking cameras? 

“You don’t want to?” You bite your lip, insecurity seeping through the confident smile you wore just a moment ago.

“No! I mean - yes! Yes, I do, holy shit, let me find - where the fuck is…” Denki whips around, trying to find his phone. Fuck! Out of all the times to misplace it, it has to be now. But then he spots the yellow polaroid camera sitting on the floor, and before he can think, he’s picking it up and praying it has film. He kneels, so he’s eye level with your pussy, but also making sure the angle gets your whole body in the frame. The light streaming in gives you an ethereal look, your skin glowing, and adding to the cute flush on your cheeks. The camera clicks, and a second later, the picture slides out. You giggle at Denki’s impatience. He’s waving the picture frantically in the air, so the color comes through faster. He completely stills when he can finally take a good look at the beauty he’s captured.

“Fuck, Y/N, you look…” 

Denki can’t control the groan that escapes. He looks back up at you, eyes darkened with lust before he’s ripping his shorts off so fast, his foot gets caught, and he almost trips in the process. Once he’s out of them, he plops back down in the chair across the room. You’re surprised when all you feel is pure, unadulterated lust. You expected to be at least a little bit weirded out staring at your best friend’s cock, but all you want is to put it in your mouth and explore all the different ways you can make him come. The tip is oozing pre-cum already, and the way he works his hand with a sense of urgency suggests he’s been hard for a while. It doesn’t take long before you hear Denki grunt.

“Fuck, I’m close.”

You look so pretty spread out for him. For the last five years, he wanted nothing more than to see you like this. His hips jerk up, and he throws his head back, but he makes sure to keep his eyes open like his life depended on it; he didn’t want to miss a second of this. You, with your legs wide open giving him a view of your perfect little pussy. Your panties soaked by you rubbing your clit mercilessly, and your pupils blown wide as you watch your best friend get off to the show you’re giving him. It’s erotic as hell, completely different from the pictures Denki has of you. This one easily tops all the others. He tightens his fist - he doesn’t want it to end without feeling your skin on his at least once.

“Let me touch you, Y/N, please, I just wanna touch you, need to feel you.” 

Denki doesn’t give a fuck that he’s begging at this point. He’s waited too damn long to care about pride or dignity, not when the chance to fuck you is placed in his shaking hands. You bite your lip to suppress a moan, but it comes out anyway.

“Touch me.” 

That’s all Denki needs. Before you know it, you’re pushed down on the bed, and lips smash against yours. He’s eager, a little too eager, shoving his tongue in your mouth and touching everywhere that he can. You don’t have much room to breathe, so you gently push at his chest.

“Chill, Denki.”

He huffs out a breath, muscles shaking like he’s restraining himself from overwhelming you.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” 

He mumbles, peppering kisses into your neck before making his way back to your lips. It’s much smoother this time, his tongue sliding out to tease your bottom lip, asking for permission this time. He groans when you open up for him, your tongue meeting his. Hands trail up until they reach around, resting on the clasp of your bra. Honey eyes meet yours, but you cut off his question.

“I’ll stop you if I need to, but you asking me if it’s okay every time you try something is gonna seriously kill the mood.” 

You reach around to place your hands on top of his, unclasping your bra along with him. His eyes darken at the sight of your bare chest. You try not to squirm at the intensity of his gaze. It becomes near impossible when he dips down to flick his tongue over your nipple before biting with his teeth. He pays the same attention to the other one before kissing his way down your stomach. You arch your back when he spreads your legs and positions himself between them. He makes his way around, avoiding your dripping pussy, teasing your thighs with soft kisses. You huff in annoyance, and he smirks up at you, biting into the flesh of your thigh. This time he places a kiss to your heated center, enjoying the way you squirm under his touch. 

“Is it everything you imagined?” You ask.

He looks up at you, with such a serious expression, one you’ve only seen a couple times since knowing him.

“Everything and more.”

Your heart flutters, and you know you’re going to say something you’ll regret if you don’t stop counting the different shades of gold in his eyes. You clear your throat before throwing your hair back.

“You gonna fuck me, or am I gonna have to do it myself?”

You pull his head in for a demanding kiss, biting on his lip to distract yourself from the rush of bubbling emotions threatening to surface.

“One sec,” Denki whispers, placing one last kiss to your lips, before getting up.

You gape at the giant box of condoms he casually pulls out. It hasn’t been opened, and oh my god, you didn’t even know they made huge boxes like this. There were at least a hundred in there. What person thinks to buy a big box of condoms if their plans don’t include… fucking a whole ass army? 

“What the fuck, Denki?” 

People usually have one, maybe two condoms in their wallet at most. Some guys don’t have any at all, which kills the mood when you’re in the heat of the moment, so I guess you can be thankful that Denki is... extra prepared?

“What?” 

He pulls a condom out and drops the box. It thumps when it hits the floor. You’re taken aback by how nonchalant he’s being about this.

“I- you- wha- How many times do you think we’re gonna do it!?” 

Denki slides the condom on, smirking at your shocked expression.  

“Till we finish this box,” he says as he slides into you. 

You gasp at the stretch. He pushes to the hilt, and stays there when he notices the slight furrow of your brow. It has been a while since you’ve fucked, but soon enough, you crave more so you roll your hips, but he doesn’t move.

“Denki?” 

His head is pressed into your neck, warm breath tickling your skin, and the stuttering heartbeat matches to the beat of your own. 

“Just… gimme a minute, don’t wanna ruin it by coming in two seconds.” 

His words are muffled, voice raspy with desire, and you can only imagine what his face looks like. It makes you want him all the more. Finally, someone who doesn’t see sex as an opportunity to one-up you or to put you in your place. It’s scary how the last twenty minutes have changed five years of friendship.

“Hey,” you hold his face in between your palms. He already looks completely fucked out with his face flushed and eyes glazed. You place a tender kiss to his lips, unlike the previous kisses you shared. 

“You couldn’t ruin it even if you did come right now.”

You caress his hair in an attempt to reassure him.

“You’d just have to make it up to me,” you wink.

His smile is so pure, lighting up his eyes that’s unique to Denki; it makes your heart do somersaults in your chest. But the moment passes as the previous heat between you two spikes when Denki circles his hips, taking his time to feel you inside and out. He’s touching and kissing you wherever he can, your cheek, neck, chest, thighs, like it’s the first and last time he’ll experience you like this. It might very well be. 

This thought doesn’t sit well with you.

Once he’s mapped out your sweet spots, he digs his fingers into your thighs and pulls your hips flush towards his. He pulls out of you until only the tip is brushing your opening and pounds back into you, taking your breath away. He pumps in and out of you faster, and you cry out when he hits that special spot deep inside of you.

“Denki,” you moan. He grunts and spreads your legs even wider, grabbing one and hauling it over his shoulder to pound into you deeper.

He’s getting close, hell, he’s been close even before you walked in. 

“F-fuck…” Denki groans, thrusting at an uneven pace and feeling the familiar tightening in his groin.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you flip him over and begin bouncing on his cock in a much more steady rhythm. Denki’s staring up at you, eyes wide in admiration.

You’re a goddess. An absolute fucking masterpiece that needs to be put in a museum for his eyes only. God, when did he get so fucking mushy? You always brought out different sides that Denki, himself, didn’t even know he had. He can’t keep his hands off you, grabbing your boobs, sliding down the curves of your thighs, gripping your ass. He wants to commit it all to memory in case he never gets to know this pleasure again. 

“Y/N, ah, shit, I’m gonna...” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

He’s holding on to that sweet release for as long as he can. He’s been craving it since he met you on the first day of class at U.A. His balls tighten, unable to hold it in any longer, before he gives in to the long overdue orgasm. It hits him hard - his entire body tingling from head to toe like 1000 volts of electricity bolt through him. Denki had no idea he could come for this long, but he doesn’t want it to end - it feels so fucking good inside you. He rides it out for a couple more thrusts before he relaxes, completely sated. You try to pull off him, but he grabs your hips and forces you back down. You squeak, clearly not expecting him to care enough to help you out after he finished.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

The tone of his voice sounds foreign in his ears, too gruff and too deep, but you seem to have no problems with it as you moan in response, working yourself on top of him. Your thighs crush his hips, shaking with need as you seek a release of your own. You’re tired from bouncing, so you resort to grinding, swirling your hips deliciously around his cock. Denki squeezes your ass in appreciation.

“You close?” 

“Close, so close, Denki, please…”

Your eyes well up with tears, desperate to finish; the coil in your stomach wound too tight that you might burst any second. Denki helps you by thrusting his hips to meet yours, his hand rubbing your clit. You jolt at the sudden zap to your clit, you look down to see a small spark leave Denki’s fingertip. He does it again, and you cry out, your pussy fluttering from the electrifying touch.

“C’mon, baby, you can do it, come for me.” 

Fuck. Denki didn’t mean for the pet name to slip out, but then you’re moaning louder than before that Denki would’ve had to quiet you if you weren’t alone. Words are tumbling out before you can stop them.

“Oh, fuck, Denki, I love this so much, I love you, I-” 

You slap your hand over your mouth. Denki’s eyes widen for a second before a dangerous glint takes over, and he wretches your hand away from your mouth.

“Lemme hear you. C’mon, Y/N, show me how much you love this.”

You hardly recognize the scream as your own; you flush at how loud you are, but Denki doesn’t seem to mind. It seems to spur him on. He sits up so your chest to chest before he bends down to tug at your nipple with his teeth. You throw your head back in pleasure, your hands coming around to grab at his hair. Golden eyes look up at you from your chest, a slight smirk curving his lips.

“I’m no photographer, baby girl, but I can sure as hell picture us together.”

Leave it to Denki Kaminari to make you come with a cheesy pickup line. 

He gives one final thrust, balls slapping against your ass and hitting the spot deep inside you just right. Your thighs quiver from the pleasure wracking your body, a scream lodging out of your throat so loud that the people next door bang on the wall. You’re overwhelmed to the point that all you can do is rest your head on his shoulder, whispering his name in a broken whimper as you finish. 

You fall next to him on the bed, sweaty and completely wiped, both of you trying to catch your breath. Denki tosses the condom in the trash while you stare at the ceiling, watching the fan swirl round and round. Your mind is no different at the moment, going round in circles, and you’re trying to catch up. Your body feels weightless, tingling all over and loving the high you didn’t think was possible. The bed shifts, and suddenly you’re faced with your best friend of five years. Before he can get a word out, the front door slams shut, and two very familiar, very masculine voices are down the hall, getting closer by the second. 

“Kaminari, you lazy shit, get the fuck down here!”

“Shit!” Denki jumps from the bed, ruffling through the mess to find his pants.

“Denki, just lock the door! Hurry!”

It’s too late as the door swings open, and yeah… if today taught Denki anything, it’s that he really needs to lock his door more often. He doesn’t have time to think as he hops back into bed with you to avoid flashing any of his other friends today. Bakugou would probably threaten to chop his dick off and… yeah, Denki doesn’t wanna think about the rest.

You squeak and cover yourself with the blanket when you’re met with two sets of equally shocked crimson eyes.

Kirishima drops the bag of chips he’s holding. It seems like dropping things when walking into Denki’s room was a common theme today, and he’s sure as hell not looking forward to the cleanup. Denki regrets chancing a glance at Bakugou; nostrils flaring like a rabid predator on the loose and Denki’s his target.

The four of you stare at each other for who knows how long before Kirishima breaks out into a full-on grin.

“About time, bro, congrats!” 

“Congrats?” You turn to Denki, confused.

“The fuck!? You bangin’ my ex, dunceface!?” Bakugou shouts.

“Please don’t hurt me!” Denki squeaks, hiding underneath the covers.

“Oi! You fuck like a man, you better fight like one, too!”

You roll your eyes, hardly affected by Bakugou’s exploding presence, unlike Denki, who is literally shaking beside you.

“Oh fuck off, Katsuki, listen to yourself. Keyword ex-girlfriend.”

Bakugou sputters, and Kirishima drags him by the shoulder.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s been in a mood since he found out he’s gonna be the next star of the Bachelor.” 

“You wanna die too, shitty hair!?” 

You and Denki burst out laughing at the absurdity of Katsuki forced to act like a gentleman on live TV. The image of Katsuki in a suit and tie, holding a rose and actually smiling, is comedic gold to you.

“C’mon, bro, let’s give ’em some space.” 

“Oi! You’re on my shit list now! All of you! Aye! Get the fuck off me!”

Kirishima drags Bakugou the rest of the way, giving you a quick thumbs up on the way out.

You and Denki are still cracking up, but your laughter dies when they leave, and you’re faced with the tension from before. Denki sinks lower into the sheets, hating that he keeps getting walked in on. Who decided it was ‘make a fool out of Denki day’ anyway?

“So…” you start.

“So…” Denki finishes. 

You both stare straight ahead at nothing. 

“Did you mean it?” 

You raise an eyebrow, clearly asking him to elaborate.

“What you said, when you... you know...” he makes a clicking noise with his mouth like that’s universal code for fucking, “Or was it just a heat of the moment thing?” 

You take a moment to think before you give your response. You want to be as honest as possible, and not lead Denki on in any way. Of course, you loved him, he’s your best friend, but did you love him? 

You think back on your friendship, and suddenly a supercut of all the times he was there for you flashes before your eyes. He was there when you needed someone to drive you when you had your wisdom teeth pulled out. You didn’t expect Denki to stay with you the whole weekend, buying you ice cream and watching your favorite movies, but he did. 

He was there when you and Bakugou became an item, always listening to you swoon over how amazing a boyfriend he was. Denki would always respond with “But can he do this?” and would proceed to overuse his quirk like an overpowered Pikachu just to make you laugh. It sends a knife through your heart, knowing Denki was in love with you while you were talking about how great of a boyfriend his friend was. Not to mention how he was there when you and Bakugou broke up, heart-broken and vowing to swear off boys for good. Denki held you in his arms while you cried, staying silent the entire time, which you knew was against his nature. Denki was always there for you as a friend. There’s no doubt he’d be there for you as a lover.

“I meant it,” you say.

Tears threaten to spill, and your heart might burst out of your chest and land right into his hands. You hope he holds on to it forever. He squishes your cheeks and leans down to plant the softest kiss on your lips. This is what you’ve been missing - more like who you’ve been missing. You open your mouth to deepen the kiss, and he meets you move for move. He pulls away, hands still on your cheeks, grazing your cheekbones with his fingertips as he stares into your eyes. 

“Denki, I…” You bite your lip, overcome with emotion. You desperately want to say the words to capture this picture-perfect moment forever. 

Until you feel something poking your thigh.

“Denki!” 

You yell, affronted he popped a boner in the middle of what was supposed to be a romantic moment.

“Sorry!”

“Ugh! Worst timing ever!” You slap his shoulder.

“Ow! I said I’m sorry!”

You wiggle out of his embrace. Silence eats at the room, and you can feel Denki’s energy radiating in uncomfortable frequencies. The last moment had been thoroughly ruined.

But you have all the time in the world to make more.

“... round two?” 

Just seeing Denki’s face light up like Christmas is enough to promise the birth of a new moment. He bends over to grab his box of condoms, some spilling on the floor and adding more to the mess, before saying, “hell yeah!”

You roll your eyes with affection. What a weirdo, you think. But he’s your weirdo.

That night, or rather the next day since it was currently three in the morning, Denki plops down on his bed exhausted from the day. He’s fluffing his pillow, trying to get comfortable, when he feels something underneath. His eyes widen when he takes in the picture he’s holding. You must’ve taken it when he was downstairs and snuck it under his pillow. You’re bent over with that same damn lacy bra that sends him for a loop. Your cleavage deliciously on display as you bite your lip and stare at the camera with those innocent eyes. Denki can’t help it, his hand sliding down on instinct and cupping himself through his boxers. He turns the picture around and smiles at the cute little message written on the back.

“To add to your collection 😉”