#i didn't hate the show like i thought i would but it definitely had flaws in it's execution

[iguessitsjustme]

Be My Favorite - Episode 12 Thoughts

Oh look I’m watching it the day it airs for the finale. My predictions are: Max deserves better and Pear deserves better. I made myself some nachos and I bought chocolate earlier that’s not chillin in my freezer so let’s goooo:

-I was actually sick last week while watching the episode. Just a cold but I still have a cough and I think it’s so funny. Art imitates my life I guess lol

-Listening to the background vocals for the first time on this opening and holy shit way to go Krist hot damn I’m impressed. 

-I actually agree with Kawi about fame. It’s not everything and privacy concerns are so valid. 

-I’m still lost on this time travel thing. Do they inhabit their 17 year old bodies? Is it like a possession? What’s happening? I want answers I’ll never get. Wait are they even 17 at this point or are they older? Like early 20s?

-Dear BMF, I appreciate you giving the audience the roller coaster experience however I have severe motion sickness and now I feel ill so thanks for that. 

-I do like that they hold onto each others hands when they need support. I wish we had better build up to these moments though. 

-How long are these two gonna stare at each other? I get it but it’s boring to watch.

-Max my beloved. I missed you. 

-I’m glad Pear found someone who makes her happy. She deserves her happy ending more than any other character. 

-Did this show just give Not a happy ending of being a famous author cause I’m gonna go dive into some concrete. Dear lord we suffered him and yet there he remained. 

-WHY WAS THAT GUITAR SO CLOSE TO THE WATER?

-Also put that down before I scream. 

-There have been way too many montages in this show. 

-Seriously move that guitar before my blood pressure rises even more. 

-This was a perfectly passable show. Which is more than I can say about most Jittirain shows. 

-Max definitely deserved better. Where is his show? Where is his boyfriend?

[dunmeshistash]

Why did Milsiril help with Mithrun's recovery?

Since people seemed to be interested in the post I made about why she adopted Kabru I wanted to write my thoughts about her helping Mithrun too.

I think with Mithrun it gets a little trickier tho, both because Mithrun himself doesn't speak much about his past and because most of it we get from a third party account. I'll also try to discuss based on what I see people say about their relationship although is probably gonna be shorter than Kabru's (came back to say it's not shorter), tw for self-harm because of Mithrun recovery drawings.

1 - So Mithrun could become a canary again

This is the theory I see the most often, probably it's whats on the main story, as far as I'm remembering there's no other mentions of Milsiril related to Mithrun besides the role she plays in sparing his life.

That story isn't reliable tho, Mithrun constantly points out that Kabru is glossing over details and Kabru himself is depicted as cooking (as the kids say) a good story that resonates with an audience.

So we can't really trust that this framing is objectively true

But even so taking just what happened, without the context Kabru added, what she did was spare his life once she realized he still had a hint of desire to exist within him.

Kabru lies (or rather embelishes a lot) when he says "and from that point onward, Mithrun lived only to slay demons. He ate even he had no desire to eat. He lived on even though he had no desire to live." he was useless for 20 years after this so 'saving him cause he will be useful later' isn't really too accurate. Milsiril also wasn't involved with his rehab until Utaya 18~19 years later so it definitely wasn't for this that she helped.

2 - So Mithrun could avenge Utaya by defeating the demon (She winded him up and set him on a path, you know, like a doll)

I think this one is kinda mean, I've seen people speak as if she only helped him after Utaya because she wanted to use him to defeat the demon. But there's no evidence Milsiril even cares about the demon or that she wants vengeance. My girl literally ran away and decided to look away instead of continuing to fight (and I can't blame her)

This, as far as I understand, is based both on the above section and on this part from her adventurer's bible extra

She shows up to visit him and brings up the demon, and then sets him up to go after it, but once again I think it relies on an unkind interpretation of her character; you gotta assume she has unseen ulterior motives already before the comic even starts, since this whole comic is talking about how she completely misinterpreted who Mithrun was when they were in the same squad, and how she feels he's actually someone she would get along with. If you know Milsiril, you know she only gets along with other misfits, she's acknowledging Mithrun as someone who was broken like her even before his desires were eaten.

This is the complete comic

"I always hated you. You were beautiful and perfect, and everybody loved you. You didn't seem to have a single worry or flaw.

But when I saw the dungeon you'd built, I was startled. It was such a warped, convoluted place built from inferiority, jealousy, lies and anger.

I wish I'd tried really talking to you. We might have hit off pretty well. Too late now, I guess"

She acknowledges him as a human being, when before she only saw him as the embodiment of the people that bullied her. And right after that she talks about the demon. There's no indication for a wish of vengeance anywhere in this comic, I'd even say the demon and the dungeons are barely important to what Milsiril is thinking, there's only belated compassion.

3 - Cause he was a new "project"

Related to the reasons pointed out in my Kabru post, people assume Milsiril is the type of person that wants/needs to feel superior to someone, or to put on an altruistic front or what have you. And that interpretation also leaks into how they see her helping Mithrun. I said the main reasons why I don't think she's that type of person on the other post so I wont repeat. But I don't think Mithrun is a "project" at all.

This was right after she fought on Utaya, I imagine a little after or a little before she took in Kabru, so she "had a project" already if you're gonna go with that wording. She was also finally free from the canaries and she had no obligation towards Mithrun. She also only went back to him decades after she spared his life, my assumption is that she did it because she finally could. She couldn't have guessed when she spared his life that 19 years later she would be free from the canaries and that Mithrun still wouldn't have been recovered and would have been needing her.

4 - And finally, why did she spare his life? Why did she help him recover?

This one isn't as straight foward as Kabru's adoption to me. I imagine the fact he had the potential to still be useful could be one of the reasons she spared Mithrun at first, but I also think that he newfound empathy she developed for him when she saw his dungeon might have been part of it, that seeing he still had some sort of drive and desire made her have hope he could still live.

Milsiril really seems like the type of person that likes to nurture, while I wouldn't say this makes her a "softie" and not able to execute him (I'm sure she could do a mercy kill) I think that soft side made her want to give him a chance. There's no proof for any of that ofc, and Kui confirmed in a QnA Mithrun wasn't arrested or executed because they were desperate for people to be in the canaries. (The choice probably wasn't only on her)

Now why she helped him? I think it's because she saw he could be helped.

She says herself she's only visiting, probably to check on him

"They said you've fully recovered but you might as well be a corpse." so by this point I think his body has recovered and he has managed to stabilize? But as this extra from the daydream hour shows he needed 24/7 care to stay alive in those first 18 years

Like she said he might as well be a corpse, he'd be in bed all day and have servants keeping him from dying, he would have fits where he would harm himself, he had no way to go on. It even says that even things that could remind him of his time as dungeon lord weren't allowed so he was probably being kept away from demon mentions (after all I doubt servants even knew about a demon)

But then when she mentions the demon he immediately gets up

She's surprised so I don't think she expected that, and she goes and uses that reaction to help him "Then first eat this. If you finish it all I'll take you to a dungeon again"

Rather than using him to fight the demon I think she's using the demon to help him live. Here's what his bio says

"After Mithrun was recused from the dungeon, he spent a while on the verge of death. However, with time and rehabilitation he gradually became able to lead a normal life again. The Utaya incident was the event that roused him. He thought, 'If I'd been there, I know I could have dealt with the demon somehow' and he resolved to return to active duty. (...)"

So it worked, Milsiril might have been there to help with his rehab but it was the Utaya situation that finally was able to motivate him to find a way to live and rejoin the canaries, so I think rather than setting him up to kill she realized it could be used to help him.

Which isn't a perfect solution, as you might know by the ending, his fate was to die either way: either he would die trying to kill the demon or he would defeat it and die because he had nothing else to live for.

But it was what Milsiril could do for him at that moment and it was how she managed to help him go forwards.

And that's my thoughts about Milsiril and Mithrun, I don't think they as big in each other's lives in canon as some people assume, there's barely a mention of Milsiril on his profile and she's barely named in his backstory. But they were both people that left a mark on each other's existence if only for a short time.

But I don't think Milsiril was just doing charity when helping Mithrun either, I imagine she did it because she saw herself in past Mithrun, and wanted to help him because of it.

Also side note, this extra:

That's past Mithrun saying she has ulterior motives, he isn't reliable and thinks badly of everyone. So ofc he thinks gloomy Milsiril is suspicious for helping, him doesn't mean it's true

Disclaimer again I'm a Milsiril stan so I'm very charitable in my interpretations of her, but hopefully you can see there's no indication she is someone who would use a sick person for revenge with the sources I've attached.

[gaylordscooter]

Note This Down So I Don't Forget

Blue closed his journal and tucked it under his arm. He just finished up his entry on Epic Sans. He didn't actually know too much about him so he had to consult Cross.

It wasn't like he could talk to the source when he was missing.

Speaking of him missing, Blue turned his head, and saw the mistakenly-dubbed “protector of the universe” peeking over his shoulder to look at the journal.

He rolled his eyelights once he noticed Blue’s gaze on him. “I don't see the point in making an entry about that one.”

Blue squinted at him. “Because you killed him?”

Ink gasped dramatically, “Whaaat? Nooo!” He cleared his throat, putting on a serious face. “I didn't do that.”

“Sure.”

“You don't believe meeee!” He whined and draped himself over Blue’s shoulders.

“I’ll believe you when he’s found.” He shrugged him off.

“When he's found, you and I probably won't even remember this conversation!” Ink pointed out. He was shocked by his own words, regretting them the second he said them. It was meant to be playful banter but…

Blue deflated, looking like his namesake. He tightened his hold on his journal. His eyelights darted away. “Right,” he huffed.

Guilt showed through his eyelights. “I didn't mean it like that.” How else could he have meant it? Their horrible memories had them having the same conversations over and over like they were new each time. There was a reason they both wrote stuff down.

Writing stuff down could only do so much.

“it's true,” Blue said in a quiet voice.

Ink hated when he talked in all lowercase, because most of the time it meant he was sad or tired. Well, hate’s a strong word for someone like him. Speaking about someone like him, his faulty memory had a clear cut reason that made sense. He did this. He ripped his soul apart. He signed up for this, really.

But Blue? He didn't even get to choose. It wasn't his fault his universe decided to go on and erase itself.

“It's not your fault,” Ink said.

Blue looked surprised when he looked back at Ink, and then his expression melted into something more like concern. “No, no, Ink it isn’t either of our faults. You don't choose to have a shitty memory,” he almost laughed at the absurdity of that thought process. Really, forgetting stuff on purpose is hard!

“Well, I kinda did!” he argued. “Ripped my soul right in half, damning the consequences.”

Blue sputtered, looking even more concerned now. “You didn't know the consequences!” he yelled. He looked shocked at the volume of his own voice, but he continued, “You were just a kid! Looking for any way out. Even if you technically caused it doesn't mean it's your fault.”

Ink was confused. “But when I don't do anything to stop something it's my fault, how the hell does that work?!”

“That's not true either, people are just looking for someone to blame—”

“And! Epic was supposed to die! Why’s that my fault?!” Ink shouted.

Blue was stunned into silence. He studied Ink’s eyelights, they were changing too rapidly to discern any single emotion.

“I just…can't understand. Why are you my friend? I’m not a good…” he trailed off. “I’m not good. Do you think I learn anything from your kindness? I still do the same things. I still don't care. I’m going to keep sticking to what the creators want, okay?”

Blue sighed, “I know that.”

“So why don't you just leave like everyone else? Why stay friends with me when you know I’m going to disappoint you?!”

Blue put his hands on Ink’s cheeks making sure they made eye contact. “You don't disappoint me!” He looked distressed. “I’m not leaving you. I know you have your flaws but that doesn't mean you're bad.”

Ink scoffed, “A lot of people would disagree…”

“Well, they don't understand you, so their opinion doesn't count,” Blue asserted.

Right, because Blue totally understood him. Now that he thought about it, he kinda did…He definitely understood him more than anyone else. There were a lot less misunderstandings with him and it was always easier to explain things to him.

Why did he bother being so patient with him? It's not like he deserved it. Was it because he rescued him from his crumbling universe? That might've been it.

Of course his only friends were the “monster who literally couldn't hate anyone” and “monster whose life he saved”.

He was very likable, couldn't you tell?

“Hey Ink?” Blue’s voice dragged him back to reality.

He blinked, adjusting his demeanor so that he didn't look as pathetic as he felt. “Yeah, Blue?”

“Can I write something down on your scarf?”

“Oh!” he couldn't help but exclaim. No one else has ever done that before. There wasn't a reason to. He couldn't imagine what Blue had in mind. Leave it to him to catch him off guard sometimes.

He was the only one who did.

“So is that a no?”

“Yes—No? I mean—yes you can. Write on my scarf. But there's not that many blank spaces left.” He grabbed one of the tails of his scarf, scrutinizing for any free spaces. “What do you want to put, anyway?”

Blue grabbed his pen and clicked it. “A little reminder from me about how much I care about you.”

Ink’s sockets widened. Wordlessly he handed his scarf over to Blue, pointing to where he could write.

Blue used his journal as support underneath as he wrote. Once he finished, he signed his name below with a smiley face drawn next to it. “There you go.”

He looked down at his scarf and read his message.

“I’m glad we're best friends - Blue :)”

Ink was never one to get emotional, but for once a smile was able to come to him naturally. “Aw, cute,” he said. No, that wasn't enough, say what you want to say, you bozo. “I’m glad we're best friends too.”

[pomogando]

IM BEGGING YOU. MORE ILLUMINA X READER PRETTY PLEAASE??? ^_^

How to Be a Human Being

Illumina doesn't want to admit he wants your attention

No real warnings, romance intended, Illumina is trying REALLY hard for you even if it doesn't seem like it. I hope I did him justice

Word count: 1,176

He doesn't understand your fascination with these.. Vile creatures.

You found it when you came home from work, just sitting on your bed. It was almost as if it was waiting for you. You didn't give it a second thought as you excitedly took it as your own. It reminded you of your favorite person after all.

This insulting mimicry of him was small and fat, eerily enough having his lone horn and wing along with his usual uninterested expression.

Illumina would never admit he was bothered by these pests. He would never expose that he had such childish feelings. He didn't want to show that type of weakness in front of anyone. Especially not you.

What's even more bothersome is that the damned beast seems to hate him for no clear reason, usually trying to nip his arm or growling if he spoke to you. When you weren't looking, he took the opportunity to berate it harshly, not that the beast seemed to care.

Yet despite all the flaws Illumina could dutifully list to you, you still thought they were the cutest thing.

That was the worst part. You loved them. He can't even get rid of them because the last thing he wants is to hear you upset at him. You were too nervous to talk to him as is.

That bothered him even more. He never minded when mortals couldn't look him in the eyes. He even relished in it, but you? Why were you scared of him? Maybe he was scared, too. Not that he would ever admit that. Definitely not. He'd die before he admitted he wanted your attention.

So, despite how badly he wanted to rip the marshmallow-like creature in half, he tolerated it for you. No matter how many times it nicked at his legs or purposefully got in the way of him trying to speak to you.

He didn't understand why he felt these useless feelings of jealousy. It's not like they could do anything to him. He was clearly better than this beast. You prefer him, he'd think.

...he still hates it. How childish.

He hated it even more as he watched you try to groom it. It squirmed in your grasp and whined as you tried to brush its silky fur. Your black shirt covered in white shed. "Calm down!" You scolded, "You're fine!" Not that it listened. It squealed while trying to escape your grasp. He didn't understand how you tolerated such bratty behavior.

At the sight of him, it immediately settled down in your lap. Illumina presumed it was to show off how much "better" it was compared to him. He huffed in annoyance.

Your voice brightened the room for him. "I didn't even notice you, lumi." You smiled at him. A moment of silence made you do a double take, thinking you said something wrong. "I-Illumina, I mean. Sorry, I've been scrambled recently.." You spoke nervously.

"I assume it's because of your new houseguest." He looked down at the critter, which was now attempting to bury itself into your shirt.

"How haven't you grown tired of it, I wonder." He leaned down to your level. Your eyes met his, he liked those small moments. You tilted your head. "Tired of them?" You questioned, softly pulling the creature's cheeks. That made him even more annoyed.

Sure, Illumina mentioned he didn't like physical touch, but why didn't you do it anyway? He knew it was irrational, but the least you could do was read his mind. Now you're replacing him with this putrid animal. How offensive to his very being that it was getting your affection.

"A pretentious yet unsightly creature.." He continued, cringing at it on your lap, licking its back leg (or at least, attempting to with its chubby body)."It doesn't even care about you. It doesn't listen." He bit his tongue back, almost adding how he could be better company. He didn't want to feel these types of feelings. They were insignificant and made him want to tear his heart out.

You got up and stood up next to him. The pale creature climbing off your lap and scurrying to his side. He still towered over you, making his wing flutter in a strange feeling. "I feel like you're too harsh to it. It's sweet in its own way."

He blinked, narrowing his eyes. "It's just a small freeloader," he felt the bean nip at his toga, making him even more agitated. "It has no respect for anyone." He lightly shook his leg to try and discourage the bean.

"That's not true. It just gets peckish when hungry. It turns into a cuddlebug once it's full." you said happily. "You should see, I took a video of it climbing into my bed when I wasn't paying attention." He felt stupid at how jealous he felt at these pests. He wasn't even paying attention as you looked through your gallery for the forsaken video.

You were about to show him the video when he spoke up, your phone falling to your side. "I just don't get it. Why would you love something that's like that? It's not like you need it when you have me-" His emotions spilled out without him thinking.

Your eyes widened as a small giggle left your lips. He paused. His cheeks turned pink, and it was very noticeable on his pale skin.

Illumina was used to mortals cowering at his feet, pathetic yet satisfying.

Yet here he was watching you laugh at his own foolishness. You loved him. How embarrassing for him.

Anyone else and he would've been quick to shut it down, but he liked your laugh. You rarely laughed around him.

He hadn't realized when the bean vanished. He was too focused on you. He didn't even notice he felt full again, as if a part of him had been separated for as long as the bean existed.

"It's.. I didn't know if you would enjoy that kind of thing." You spoke softly, making him feel even more flustered. "I mean, you're a deity, I'm just a.." You trailed off from your own embarrassment.

He hesitated to open his mouth. This was hard for him to say. You could tell by how Illumina looked as if he wanted to pull his hair out.

He fumbled his words, "perhaps, the wretched beasts MIGHT'VE been a subconscious manifestation of mine." He hated feeling like a fool in front of you, but he wasn't entirely against it. "And.. perhaps... I should be a bit more open with you about my own feelings."

"..I wish for you to treat me like any other mortal." He finally spoke, for once looking away from you. "Despite my own actions."

"..please."

He wasn't sure why he felt as if he felt like he needed to show how much power he held. He was scared of you seeing him as anyone else. But he also wanted it.

You put your hands on his cheeks, smiling. The touch made him jolt.

Illumina also smiled.

[euseokz]

@ eunseok — i’m so much better than him baby, let me prove it to you . . cws : none, i think . wc : 1.2k+ . genre : angst & some fluff

EX-BOYFRIEND! EUNSEOK who, even after you’ve been broken up for months, is still utterly obsessed with you.

he still thinks about you regularly, randomly texts you asking if you wanna hang out even if he knows you’ll always just tell him that the point of breaking up is that you don’t wanna be together anymore — as if he doesn’t already know that. he still hopes that you will come back to him, that you’ll ask him if he wants to give each other another chance, all his dreams getting crushed when he got word you were going out with someone else, one of his closest friends at that.

eunseok didn’t know if he was sadder because you had moved on from him so fast (you guys had been broken up for months at that point, so you definitely wouldn’t call that fast), or angrier that you had chosen sungchan of all people.

sungchan was nice, sure. eunseok obviously liked him, otherwise they wouldn’t be friends, but as your boyfriend? sungchan had to have been one of the worst choices he could think of — so, to give himself some peace of mind (and because he was butthurt and wanted to know what sungchan had that he didn’t), eunseok decided to confront you about it, showing up at your doorstep one late night, coincidentally wearing what he knew was one of your favorite shirts of his and the cologne you always used to compliment him on.

you were surprised to see him, after all, any contact he had attempted after your break-up was through text, he had never tried to actually see you again, but as soon as he opened his mouth you knew what had given him enough motivation to break the only boundary you had actually set. you still let him in, curious as to what he had to say, and that was probably your first mistake of the night, because he then went on a rant about all of sungchan’s flaws, even the ones that were completely irrelevant to you if you did become his girlfriend — something that to you still seemed so far off because you had only gone on one date, one short date that ended with you wondering why you even accepted to go on it in the first place, something that eunseok clearly didn’t know and that you didn't plan on telling him any time soon, too entertained by his desperate rambling.

eventually you did stop him, telling him that he was overreacting, that it wasn’t that serious, but then he got a look on his eyes that told you that he wasn’t joking, that to him it was that serious, the thought of you with anyone else seemingly truthfully affecting him for some reason. you assumed he would have moved on by now, that his constant pestering of your messages was something he only did as a source of entertainment since he had always enjoyed teasing you, but apparently not. eunseok still had feelings for you, and that was something you hadn’t considered, because why would he? you had broken up with him, not even giving him a full reason beyond that you wanted different things at that moment… he should hate you, so why did he still have feelings for you? when you asked him about it, eunseok himself couldn’t give you an answer, because he also didn’t know why he still felt the same way towards you after so long, why he still loved you just as much as he did months ago. sure, at first he resented you a bit, but he got over it faster than he would ever care to admit, immediately going back to loving you and wanting you back more than he had ever wanted anything else. maybe it was pathetic, but could you blame him? eunseok loved you more than he had ever loved anyone else, and to him you had always been the one, so how could he ever just forget about you? just move on as if nothing serious had ever happened between you two? that was utterly impossible, and you should have known that, he thought.

eunseok would always want you back, and when the thought that maybe he wouldn’t ever have you again crossed his mind, he had to run to you to try to prove that he was worthy of your love, that you would always be the one for him.

his confession touched you, and if you were being honest, you did miss eunseok at points, how could you not? he treated you better than anyone else ever had, made you feel things no one ever could, so why should you not still be a bit hung up on him, even if you were the one that wanted to break things up in the first place? you had never considered going back to him though, fixed on the fact that if you ever felt that you should leave him then that must have been a sign — but now, with him standing in the middle of your house, you couldn’t help but wonder if breaking things off hadn’t just been a huge mistake on your part, or maybe a step you needed to take to truly realize just how much you also loved him, because just as much as you thought that eunseok shouldn’t have feelings for you anymore, you also knew the same applied to you. you shouldn't love eunseok anymore, and you genuinely thought that you didn’t, that you were just at a point where you liked him over some fond, past memories, but that was clearly not the case, because if it was, you wouldn’t be wanting to run to his arms the second you saw him, and you wouldn’t want to kiss him as much as you wanted in that second. maybe eunseok was pathetic for still wanting you back, but then you were at the same level as him, and definitely in no position to judge.

as much embarrassment as it gave you to admit it, you told the man before you that you might also feel the same towards him, that you might still want him even if you don’t want to admit it, and to say that a look of pure glee took over eunseok’s face was probably an understatement, the realization that there was still hope for you two something that made him all too happy, way happier than he thought he would walk out of your house feeling at least. he wanted to pick you up, to envelop you in a tight embrace and promise to never let you go this time, but he held himself back, aware that wasn’t the time to do such things. so, instead, he smiled at you, that sweet smile you had unknowingly missed — that emotion, the one related to missing your ex, one you quickly realized you had been ignoring for far too long — and promised that he would do better this time, that he wouldn’t do anything that would ever even make you want to consider leaving him again, his honesty making you chuckle as you walked him towards you couch, ready to actually sit down and have a proper conversation.

[nyxtsu]

Yap session about Zane~Chan

Zana/Zane~Chan gets a lot of hate as a ship, but I think it's the healthiest romance in the series.

I personally don't think it's THAT rushed, maybe towards the end, but they didn't just come out of nowhere, it was set up in s2 and they had moments here and there in seasons after that. It was clear even before Starlight that it was set up to be something in the future. But that's besides the point. Their relationship shows healthy communication and growth between two people, and an overall good representation of how a relationship should be. It shows mistakes and flaws within the relationship, and how it's important to communicate and try to fix these things.

Despite how Nana is in relationships, and despite how Zane had never been in a relationship before, it's surprisingly the most mature romance we see.

In the beginning, we see Nana sort of trying to rush things, like she's known to do. Zane tells her that it's okay to go slow and that it's best for them. She takes this criticism and tries to better herself. Zane comes out of his shell a bit more thanks to Nana. In the 'Nana accidentally kissing Garroth' thing, Zane showed true maturity in the way he handled that. He was sad at first, but once Nana explained, he said he believed her. He believed her because he trusted her. That kind of trust is so important in relationships. I think they both truly try to understand each other, because they genuinely care. I think that's a great representation of problems within relationships and working past them. For a Minecraft roleplay.

A lot of Zane's growth as a character was on his own or with the help of Aphmau at the beginning of Mystreet, but we definitely see even more of it in his relationship with Nana. This is how it should be! A character going through self improvement on their own, throughout a series. We see him grow as a character, we got more lore as we went on, saw him warm up to the people around him, etc.

But Nana... my babygirl... what did they do to you...

In Starlight, Nana felt like a character thrown in there as a love interest for Zane. Her character didn't have much growth or depth before that, and all of a sudden in Starlight she's telling her deepest darkest secrets to Zane. While I think that they really did grow closer in "Aphmau's Year", and I do not think she was wrong for suddenly telling him about her past, it felt like bad writing on Jessons part. It just gives the feeling of "oh lets finally give this female character some depth so she can be with this male character." If that makes sense. I wish she had that growth or that lore was revealed earlier on, not just for her relationship with Zane.

So, of course Zana has its faults here and there, but I don't think it's because of their relationship dynamic or anything, I think it's the fault of bad writing (especially on Nana's part). If their story had more thought put into it, and the writers weren't so focused on one ship(Aarmau), it would have been much better. I still think it's great, and I love them, but it could have been better.

Nonetheless, they have a healthy relationship, and they send a good message to the young audience about how things work in relationships. They don't have a very suspicious age gap! And they don't punch each other or sexualize each other to a concerning degree!! Stares at Aarmau and Travelyn.

[minamorsart]

What , And how did you start pairing lotura, And Plance .?

Ooooh boy am I excited to answer this!!! This is going to be a long answer, hope you don't mind! Because I have some specific memories about these two ships, particularly lotura, that I would absolutely love to share with you!

Prepare for a long read! Hehe

Starting with lotura, when season 3 came out and Lotor made his debut, of course I was all 👀👀👀 Because that day something awoke in 19 year old me that I didn't realize could ever be awoken lol. And I wish I could remember exactly what my reaction was to his cat-and-mouse chase with Allura in the episode "The Hunted", but at the time I must not have considered the idea of them ever going in the direction of a romance. Looking back now though, how could I have been so blind??! That chase scene is HOT. I mean just look at them!!! Look at Lotor especially woah mama 😳

Season 4 was mediocre to me at the time, I will confess, for a lot of different reasons. But then season 5, man... SEASON 5!!!! I remember it was March 3rd, 2018. I wasn't keeping up with the show anymore, but I just so happened to see an article online that said season 5 had been released the day before on Netflix. I told my sister and we decided, "eh, let's watch at least the first episode."

And we watched the first episode, alright. And then another, and then another and another until we watched all six episodes in one sitting. We were both blown away! Lotor... Allura... together???? 😲

Their adventures, their chemistry, their clear attraction to one another... I was OBSESSED!!! I shipped them hardcore after that. They were and are still my #1 OTP, and it's because of them that I really tried to work hard and improve my art! I wanted to draw them all the time, making mini comics and AUs, and while their tragic ending actually left me in tears and I was upset for a really long time, I can now say that I have been able to heal and move on from it--eh, mostly anyway, haha.

It still hurts, but 5 years later I feel that I've matured and come to a greater understanding and acceptance. I have come to really appreciate how perfect they are for each other, both aesthetically of course (cuz lookit that sexual dimorphism babeyyy) as well as the many, many things they have in common. I have also come to appreciate their flaws, their imperfections, and the mistakes they made regarding each other and their relationship. They may have gotten a sad ending, but they were still truly equals in every way. It's just beautiful, and my love for them now is stronger than ever :')

For Lance and Pidge on the other hand, it's not quite as clear as when I started shipping them! I remember rolling my eyes at Lance and Allura's first meeting, like "okay Lance is one of THESE guys, here we go 🙄"

Other than that I didn't really ship Lance or Pidge with anyone! If I'm recalling correctly, I don't think it wasn't until after season 6 that I started shipping them together. I remember reading metas and analyses of their relationship that people were making in anticipation for season 7's release, and the more I thought about it, the more I started to really like the idea of Lance and Pidge getting together! And there are definitely subtle hints throughout the earlier seasons of Pidge's feelings for Lance, as well as their fun chemistry with one another, like the episode "Space Mall"!

The hints are not so subtle to me now, but back then it wasn't until I watched season 7 that I actually became hopeful that they could be a couple! I especially loved the moments when Pidge indirectly called Lance "cute, in a creepy, hideous sort of way" lol, and when Lance become very protective over Pidge in such a way that I don't think we ever saw him react before! I was honestly taken aback by that moment!

And again, their ending was definitely less than satisfactory, particularly Lance's ending (still hate it with a passion), but just like with Lotura's relationship, I have also come to appreciate many things about Plance's relationship today. While Lotor and Allura have so much in common and are able to reach an understanding with each other that they can't with anyone else, it would seem at first that Pidge and Lance are far too different to be compatible. And it is true that they are very different, but for one, that can be a good thing! The foundations of some relationships are built off of their differences. It can make someone more compassionate and more open-minded when they have a willingness to accept and appreciate the differences they have with their partner, and a willingness to take a genuine interest in the things that their partner is passionate about, even if they don't completely understand.

And two, at the same time, Pidge and Lance DO have things in common! They both love their families, both have a stronger connection to Earth compared to the other paladins, and they are able to bond with one another over fun pastimes such as video games! How cute is that??!

And just like with Lotor and Allura, I also love Pidge and Lance for their flaws. It did take me a while to come around to Lance, because while he has his funny moments and one-liners, I also found him very annoying at times lol. But I think the fact that he can be really annoying honestly makes him the most realistic character in Voltron. Not necessarily the most relatable, at least not for me, but definitely the most human! Because there are people in our real lives that we love and cherish deeply, but they absolutely have their moments where you go, "ugh, you're so annoying and it really frustrates me when you act this way" but we still wouldn't trade them for the world 🥰

And just to draw one last comparison between Lotura and Plance, I especially LOVE how incredibly different the two pairings are even from each other! To me, Lotor and Allura are sexy and passionate, while Pidge and Lance are pure and fun! They're all so unique and special in their own ways, and they bring so much to the table, both for their characters and for their relationships.

I can't help but write essays every time I get asks, I'm so sorry lol 😭 There's so much more I could say about these guys, but I think I'd better stop here haha! I had a lot of fun writing about Lotura and Plance, and I hope you had just as much fun reading this! I really love these characters a lot. I'm so incredibly grateful that they exist, even if in the form of fiction, and I'm even MORE grateful that my love for them has continued to grow over the years. Thank you so much for the ask!!!! 💖💜💙💚

Oh and one last thing: we were robbed of a lot of different potential interactions with a lot of different characters, but I have to say it would have been fun to see more of Lotor and Lance interacting with each other! Lance was always acting out due to his jealousy, while Lotor on the other hand mostly just ignored him lol.

[the-power-of-stuff]

The Live-Action Sukka Manifesto that I Just Couldn't Keep in My Head

So I've been marinating in my live-action Sukka thoughts for the past three days, and when someone sent me an anon asking if I had any thoughts about the changes, at first I went, "DO I EVER?!" and proceeded to dump my entire brain on the page.

But then I worried maybe the anon wouldn't want to see my entire brain and figured I'd make my own post with my Many, Many Thoughts, and reel it in a bit when I answer the ask. And then link here if they're interested in the dissertation.

I'll put all the excessive details and spoilery stuff under a cut, but I'll start by saying, I didn't hate it! And I was afraid that I would.

There were things that I was bummed or had mixed feelings about, but there was also a lot that I genuinely enjoyed. All the Sukka interactions were cute and still had some decent character development, and I had fun with the episode overall (I've watched it thrice mind you, and definitely have not given the rest of the series that kind of attention). And I didn't necessarily dislike the differences from the original; I think I've just taken more of a "that was an interesting interpretation" approach.

But I better start that cut now, because I'm about to go on and on about this. I'd love to know what others think, though!! Even if the opinions aren't the same as mine! Please feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me an ask. If nothing else, I'm excited that the LA has gotten people talking about ATLA again.

So, I want to start with Suki’s characterization, which overall I found to be delightful, even if it was a bit of a watered-down version of her animated self.

In the original show, Suki is confident, sassy, and doesn’t take shit from anybody. She’s proud to the point of almost being arrogant, and even a little mean. What we get in the LA is someone who’s still confident in terms of her status and her skills, and still proud of her heritage and her role in her community, but with significantly less sass. And while LA Suki still seems like someone who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, we don’t actually see LA Suki deal with that much shit from anyone (because Sokka isn’t really giving her any). 

There is one moment in the show where her interaction with Sokka is a little contentious, which is when he tries to relate to her as a fellow guardian of his people. I think Suki’s question to Sokka about how is he protecting his village if he’s not there is meant to be a challenge to his swagger. However, the line is delivered with a softness that makes it seem as though Suki is, at least in part, genuinely curious. (This curiosity makes even more sense when we consider the fact that Suki’s eventually going to leave Kyoshi Island so she and her Warriors can take part in the war effort, and that she will have to contend with the question of “how do you do that without abandoning your people?” when coming to that decision. The LA lays a lot more of this groundwork than the animated show did: Suki outwardly expressing her desire to see the world, her mother’s secretive looks every time Suki gazes longingly at Sokka the possibilities…)

Compare these two moments, for example. These are both scenes where Suki expresses disbelief at Sokka's claims about his warrior-hood. But in the LA, Suki speaks rather quietly and mildly, in contrast to the brash sarcasm of her animated counterpart. LA Suki is also tilting her head down and away, looking at Sokka indirectly. OG Suki is leaning in close, getting in his face, smirking derisively with her hands on her hips.  

I think there’s something to be said about the LA in general smoothing away certain personality traits that could be seen as negatives but that are actually strengths that are so narratively well-developed they occasionally show up as flaws (for instance, Katara’s fury, or lack thereof). Animated Suki is prideful and stubborn; she berates Sokka until he gives her sad puppy-dog eyes and has zero hesitation about making an example of him in front of her whole class. It’s a little ruthless, but these traits are also 1) what gets through Sokka’s thick skull (he, too, is prideful and stubborn), and 2) what makes her such a dedicated ambassador of Kyoshi and such a strong leader of the island’s Warriors at such a young age. I feel like the LA writers were afraid of making any of the protagonists seem too abrasive—everyone in the LA has had their edges sanded down, including Zuko, including Aang—and in general this tends to lead to less realistic representations of humanity and conflict, less satisfying character development arcs, and fewer opportunities for reflection and learning. 

That being said! I went into watching the LA with negative expectations about what we would see in terms of character development, and thus was pleasantly surprised. 

The LA removed the need for Suki to be as ruthlessly stubborn as she is in the animated show because LA Sokka’s skull is not so thick (and I'll get into that a bit more later). So what we get instead is a sheltered Suki with a helicopter mom who is so hilariously awkward that she has no idea how to interact with other humans. And, to be honest, I enjoyed this version of her so much that I even thought to myself, “I wish I’d thought of that!”

Suki is a straight-up weirdo in the LA and I love that for her. The way she puts Sokka in a chokehold and then looks at him after she sets him free like, “That was good flirting, yes? Would you like to be my boyfriend now?” And then her disappointment when Sokka walks away as if she’s thinking, “Why didn’t that go well, I thought boys loved getting put in chokeholds?” She is so precious, I just want to put her in my pocket. And this characterization might even be more broadly relatable than a super-confident Suki brimming with sass. Who among us hasn’t made a complete fool of ourselves in front of a crush by coming on way too strong and having no idea how to flirt? I mean…real. 

And because Sokka is also mostly just making a fool of himself trying to impress a pretty and talented peer (instead of covering up his insecurities by wrapping himself in misogyny) this leaves room for the two of them to be attracted to each other right off the bat and for their interactions to be more overtly romantic throughout the entire episode. Which, avid shipper that I am, I have to admit I have been gobbling up for the past three days straight. This episode was an IV drip of romantic tropes hooked straight to every Sukka shipper’s veins. 

Shy glances from across the room? Check.

Walking in on the other person half-naked? Check. (Y’all, Suki looks Sokka up and down for a FULL TWENTY SECONDS yes I timed it from the moment she appears in the background, yes you should count it to see how long that really is. Talk about awkward.) 

Tripping so they end up falling into each other’s arms? Check.

Wide-eyed shock that turns into surprise thirst after being pinned to the ground? Check.

Shooting each other satisfied smirks as they kick ass side-by-side? Check.

Jumping in front of literal fire for each other? Check and check!

Like, I could live off this for the rest of the year. 

But look, there’s a lot that I love about the way Sokka and Suki’s relationship is portrayed in this episode besides those romantically indulgent tension-creating moments, and it has to do with Suki’s admiration and validation of Sokka. 

Suki really looked at this boy with his mouth stuffed half-full of steamed bun and went, “Must have.”

With the removal of overt sexism from this episode (for better or worse), the story focused much more heavily on Sokka’s development as a leader. He still has that sort of posturing display of self-confidence that comes from inexperience and trying too hard to prove oneself (“Ferociously…deadly tiger whales…”), and while at first Suki seems put off by this and his attempts to liken himself to her (“I’m not just a warrior, I’m a Kyoshi warrior”) it doesn’t take her long to decide (*cough*after seeing him shirtless*cough*) that she doesn’t actually mind this behavior (and in fact maybe she kind of likes it because maybe it means he likes her and maybe it means she can show him how much she likes him by slicing the tops off all those melons with her fan). She seems genuinely interested in his boomerang and impressed that he hunts, and then later, she immediately takes interest in training him in the Kyoshi Warrior style. 

After they spar, she casually refers back to the fact that he’s his village’s protector, and this time, she does it without the disbelief and defensiveness. Because he’s finally stopped posturing. He opened himself up and gave himself over to Suki’s expertise, and in that way he proved that he has the will and desire—the heart—of a warrior. And Suki tells him so while touching him gently and gazing at him longingly in the soft golden glow of the late-afternoon sun. And as a die-hard Sokka stan, I love seeing him loved and appreciated like this. Adamantly. Ardently. The Sokka cheerleader in my head is going wild. “YEESSSS!! Our boy deserves this!!” Because we know that, in the animated show, he goes through a lot more struggle and self-doubt before he receives this kind of external validation. And while we also know that this makes for an incredibly satisfying growth arc, I gotta admit that it’s a fun bit of indulgence to watch Suki talk Sokka up directly to his face and then want to kiss him really bad. Y’know. As a treat.

That said, I'm very attached to and appreciative of the way their relationship is framed in the animated series. I love that their respect and affection for each other grows even after the disaster that is their first few interactions. In the LA, they are drawn to each other immediately, and the only barrier seems to be a bit of awkward stepping-in-it-ness. In the original, they have legitimate conflict, and they both have to give a little—Sokka becomes more humble, Suki becomes more tender—before they get to that point of potential romantic interest. And I think it says a lot about Sokka’s character and his desire to learn and grow that he is willing to humble himself in front of someone who, as far as he’s seen, has very little regard for him (slash has a good deal of animosity towards him). Giving himself over to Suki’s expertise costs him more in the animated show. But once he does, he and Suki learn and grow together. He shows Suki who he really is, shows her how dedicated and determined (and fun and a quick learner) he is, to the point that, by the end of the episode, she can allow herself to be vulnerable with him. And she does validate him in the original Kyoshi Warriors episode, just less directly than the LA. Her kiss on his cheek and “...but I’m a girl, too” is about forgiveness and acceptance and acknowledgement and respect, as much as or even more than it is about affection. There’s a little bit of romance, too, but it’s just little baby seeds of it, and it feels very natural to let those seeds germinate over time until we see Suki again later in the series. 

Which brings me to the live-action kiss. 

I’ll be honest, I was a little on the fence about the kiss. I want Sokka and Suki to kiss as much as possible in every conceivable universe. So there’s a part of me that was banging on the table and whistling with obscene joy. But the other part of me thought it was too much too soon. However, my hesitance pre-supposes some things about the second season (not least of which that there will be one), namely that it will handle the reunion with Suki and crossing the Serpent’s Pass anything like how it was done in the original. (Of course, one thing we now know for certain can't happen in a hypothetical LA season 2 is Suki pranking Sokka at the ferry station because he doesn't recognize her without her makeup. Do I love the expression on LA Sokka's face the first time he sees Suki's? Yes. Am I sad that this completely ruins their whole "You don't remember me? Maybe you'll remember this!" game? Also yes. But truthfully, I don't know if LA Suki would've been up to the prank, anyway. Not sassy enough. ;))

The Serpent’s Pass is one of my favorite episodes of all time, and that moment on the bluffs when Sokka and Suki are talking around Sokka’s loss, with the moon shining down on them all the while, and they almost kiss with the moon hanging between them in the background, and then Sokka pulls away without any other explanation besides, “I can’t”? That scene is so absurdly powerful and beautiful and an amazing moment of character development for them both, and I feel like it loses a lot of impact if they’ve already made out once. The fact that they kiss for the first time after that moonlit moment, when Sokka realizes that Suki doesn’t need protecting the way he thought she did, and in fact she was there to protect him, and he can finally just let go of this burden that he’s been carrying with him since Suki first mentioned she was joining them (slash since his dad put him in charge of an entire village at 13), and then and only then can he open his heart to what he feels for Suki, and in fact opens it so wide that he just cannot help but jam his mouth onto hers before she’s even finished talking…? I mean. C’mon. That’s poetry. But, again…loses impact if they’ve already had a first kiss.

But who knows what, if anything, they’ll actually do with that storyline. So for now, I’ll just enjoy my live-action Sukka kiss because, honestly, dream come true.    

Or almost a dream come true. Because there's a huge camelephant in the room that I haven't addressed yet, isn't there? The lack of Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform...

And I don’t think we can talk about the omission of Sokka’s Kyoshi Warrior uniform without talking about the omission of Sokka’s sexism. Because if Sokka isn’t sexist, then why do you have to put him in the dress and makeup of traditionally female warriors to make a point about how women are strong and capable, too? So here’s what I’ll say about that (and I know there’s a lot that people have said already, so I’ll try not to belabor the point.) I don’t think leaving out Sokka’s sexism was necessarily a detriment to his character arc. I do think, however, that leaving out Sokka’s sexism was a detriment to the message the show was trying to convey about sexism. 

Now, in the Northern Water Tribe episodes, the LA still gives us a message about fighting against the kind of systemic, institutionalized sexism that you might not be surprised to encounter within a very old-fashioned society or from a very old-fashioned gray-haired man. But what about the off-the-cuff, everyday kind of sexism that you might experience from an otherwise good person who is close to you? A person who loves you and would do anything for you but who gets carried away teasing you about “girly” things because of intrinsically-held biases that they’re not even that conscious of having? 

I think it’s important and meaningful for male and female audiences alike, and everyone in between, to see these different forms of sexism and misogyny—to see them, to recognize those behaviors in others and in ourselves, to be able to name them, and to have examples of fighting against them. We see the former kind—institutionalized, systemic—in Pakku. And we did see the latter kind—familiar, personal—in Sokka. And now that’s lost.

Not only that, but there’s the form of sexism that says boys aren’t allowed to do feminine things lest they relinquish their maleness. And in the animated show, we got to see Sokka combating this form of sexism, too. Not only does Suki show him that girls can be fierce warriors as well as boys, but he learns that wearing makeup and a dress does not make him any less of a young man.  

So, yes, I think the lack of Sokka in Kyoshi Warrior garb was a missed opportunity. And not just because Sokka looked really good in uniform and we all should have had the chance to see that, including and especially Suki. 

Alright, this is more than long enough, so I'll leave off with a moment from the LA that gave me great pleasure.

I needed this moment, y'all. And I was so afraid it wouldn't happen. I needed Sokka being protective, I needed him using his newfound Kyoshi Warrior skills to fight, and I needed him jumping in front of fire for the girl who'd taught him. If we couldn't have Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform, at least we had this.

[evaglass]

I like how real the characters of BES feel

I feel like this for many of the characters, especially Taigen.

I know many people highly disliked Taigen at the beginning, including myself, but he grew on me. I really enjoy how Taigen's growth is being handled, and I look forward to see more of the growth he goes through in the future.

I know now opinions on him are mixed, especially in regards to Mizu. I've seen people hoping they both get together, and I've also seen other people still hate him. In my opinion, I would like for them to be together, but not just yet as they still have some growth they need go through as people.

Flaws aren't only just small imperfections, nor do they easily go away at the flick of a lightswitch; flaws can really hold a person and their mindset back. Many of the characters are very flawed, some more than others, but some of them were able to start to grow from them.

Taigen is heavily flawed, especially at the start of the series. In the beginning, he is prestended as arrogant, stubborn, a bit selfish, closed-minded, cocky, etc, but he also he also had some redeeming qualities. Taigen holds honour very highly, and although the bushido code is flawed and in the show, many of the people who subscribe to that code are shown to be hypocritical, but Taigen leans more towards to honour aspect of it.

Taigen is also starting to show remorse on how he used to treat Mizu, and the way it's depicted feels realistic. He doesn't get on his knees and apologizes, but he starts treating Mizu with more respect and like a close acquaintance.

Now, I want to talk about the way Taigen reacted after Mizu told him about finding out about Fowler's plan to overthrow the Shogun and not telling him immediately when she could have; I want to talk about that whole scene in general. Usually, people take sides in that situation, but I can understand why Taigen was upset, but I can tell Mizu didn't withhold that information on purpose. Mizu was healing from her injuries. She was distracted trying to make new steel for a sword because hers broke, and she was overwhelmed. Like I said before, I can understand why Taigen was mad because they needed to move as quickly as possible, and even though Mizu was planning to go after Fowler once she had made a new sword time was of the essence around that moment, and in Taigen's mind he started to think that Mizu was possibly the traditional definition of 'honourable', and when that wasn't the case he lashes out.

What Taigen said to Mizu before he left to defend the Shogun was harsh stating "you really are a demon," and promising to kill her, saying it in tone like he's defeating a terrible beast, he wasn't right at all for saying that but it feels realistic; that scene was supposed to highlight both of their flaws. When people are really mad, they sometimes say harsh things to people around them, especially in the heat of the moment, and eventually, once they start to calm down, they soon start to regret what they said.

Taigen also soon sees how hypocritical many of the people he respected and said to subscribe to the bushido were, which must have been kind of difficult to digest. To Taigen, being a great samurai meant very much to him as it separated him from his broken background. Taigen came from a lower working-class upbringing with an abusive alcoholic father; it's pretty clear he wasn't gonna be a stable kid or much of an emotionally stable adult. It makes sense at the end of the season he wanted to be happy rather than just achieve greatness; the greatness he thought he wanted stems from people whom he used to respect, people who were shown to be corrupted and hypocritical. Taigen thought greatness would be the thing that would make him whole, but he realized it wouldn't make him happy.

Taigen grew a lot throughout the first season, but growth isn't exactly linear, and he has a lot more growth to go through, but that's what's so great about his character because it makes you want to see where he goes next.

[darcytaylor]

I don't understand why they keep ragging on Luke in spaces where he can see it. What's the end goal here? For him to snap and quit the show? People aren't thinking.

The whole situation has been very weird and emotionally charged. I tried to stay away from any of what was happening yesterday. (although I was sent things and have an idea of what is going on)

I think people had an image of who they thought Luke was and since it is not aligning with who he actually is, people are angry. When people are angry people do and say things that maybe shouldn't be said and done.

People's inability to realize that who they created in their mind is not entirely who Luke is (which doesn't have to be a bad thing), is causing outrage. People don't like to be duped, I think people think they were duped.

I have stated multiple times on this blog that people are flawed, people make mistakes, people are nuanced, people can be a bunch of things at once, people can be contradictory in personality, people are complex. All of which Luke is, all of which humans are.

Do I think that Luke hooking up with young adults is a charming trait? No, definitely not. Can I clearly see some questionable actions? Yes, I do have eyes. Do I think that Luke should have kept that shit on his private social media account? Yes, he definitely should have and could have.

But does this actually effect me in any way? No, I don't know the man, and all of us only see a very small part of who he actually is. It shouldn't come to a shock to know that Luke isn't perfect, he's not that version of who they created in their mind.

I know that Nicola has described Luke as being a certain way (people have clung to this), but then people also need to realize that he also has some bad qualities (obviously Nicola wouldn't state those publicly, why would she do that?). I always try to keep in mind that people are good and at the same time people are bad, everybody has both qualities in them.

There is also the belief that if someone who you are a fan of gets any hate, people need to come to their rescue (and vice versa), and while I do think that it is okay to show support or even lack thereof (within reason), this is what riles up every part of any fandom. If people didn't have people to engage with, or people who rile them up, they would get bored and move on.

You have two different groups with opposite opinions, fighting to make their voices the loudest, wanting people to hear them and not the other way around. But this ultimately makes the whole situation loud and for anybody to hear and read. Sometimes coming to someones defence is only going to cause more issues. It's going to create that dialogue and create a space for people to spiral.

So for people who like Luke and for people who don't like Luke, lets all just take a step back and breathe. If you see something you don't like, maybe try not to engage.

I also think that Luke has been trained and told about this aspect of his career. He has been told and has probably seen things like this happen. I don't think that this is what would make Luke quit the show, but I do believe that this will make him less inclined to post or engage with fans on social media.

I actually think that is a good thing (yay for having a positive) in Luke's situation, because it may also filter down into his friend group and relationship and have them stop with the social media games.

[starlight-bread-blog]

I Watched The First Two Episodes of Hazbin Hotel

Overall I wasn't bored. It's a fun show from the little I've seen. I have thoughts and notes I'd like to give so here's how this is gonna go:

🔵 Is for things I liked/would like to be expanded upon in the show's future.

🔴 Is for things I disliked ranging from nitpicks and just general critisisms.

Whenever something about Angel Dust's trauma I will come up, I'll mark "————" at the beginning & ending so you can avoid the topic if you'd like.

So let's dive right in!<3

🔴 I am so confused. This is narrarated by Charlie. And her goal is to redeem sinners so they can enter Heaven to save their lives. But she also knows that Heaven doesn't kill sinners to stop over-population, it's just plain evil. So, what are we doing here again?

🔴 This is the first time her relationship with her father is mentioned in the show. And it's done though a joke made by Alastor in a commercial he made. (Also, how would he know about Charlie's "daddy issues"? This isn't common knowledge as far as I know).

————

🔴 WHAT THE FUCK? I'M SORRY. WHAT THE FUCK? I hate being this negative in the beginning but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I don't want to discuss this line any more than the shock I felt while hearing it. Next.

————

🔴 Everyone already talked about how the camera work is crap and I agree. But here's an idea: If they wanted to make something grandiose, why not make a classic musical number that's completely unrealistic, and then make the reality of Hell clash with it?

🔴 This scene could be cut off mostly entirely. The point here is to show how awful Adam is, and the second the talking's over, we get a better song that does just that.

🔵 At first I was gonna make this a critisism, but all it did was making me ask questions, which is good in a first episode. This has me wondering about the characterization of Heaven and how it came to be. I can accept them being a shitty bureaucracy who only appear good, but this is some Saturday Morning Cartoon villian stuff. I'm very curious about this.

🔵 Niffty couldn't say her lines and just stared at the camera and was completely unaware of the fact that she did a shitty job. How come? I wonder what they'll do with it.

🔴 This is edited. The scene didn't go like this. We cut from the hotel to the Vees before we see Alastor's counter-attack. They cut to a really long section of the episode, in the middle of something that could be dealt with in a second. I wasn't as invested as I could have been in the introduction of the Vees, because I kept waiting to come back to Alastor.

🔵 I'd like to know why Charlie is so naive. Optimistic? Yeah, makes sense. But naive? Now that's interesting to know. She clearly goes outside and sees how sinners aren't the safest people (ie Happy Day in Hell), so you think that spending eternity with them would get her acquainted with the culture and make her adjust her behaviors. But she's still looking at the guy who just tried to kill her and goes "Oh, hello again". I'm dying to know why she's like that.

————

🔵 I see where this is going<3 Despite it all, Angel Dust clearly still loves acting. So when he'll escape Val, he'll show his theatrical side by improvising and acting for Charlie<3

🔵 Despite Angel Dust not adoring the hotel, it's very much a safe place for him. A safe the Vees, from Valentino. Now, someone who worked for them just a second before getting discovered, is in. Can't wait to see more of this.

————

🔵 I liked the rivalry of Alastor and Vox. I liked how Vox is this perfect big shot, yet crumbles about Alastor when he's barely trying. Definitely a highlight.

To Summarize...

🔴 6 negatives 🔵 6 positives

I enjoyed myself a fair bit. Most of the negatives are either nitpicks or won't matter in five eps. It had some flaws but it's a start.

[yumenotambourin]

do all 3 mouses for the character ask or im shaving elfilis 🪒🪒🪒

I'M SORRY I WAS TRAVELING YESTERDAY AM I STILL IN TIME TO SAVE THEM???

🩷First impression🩵

Elfilin

Very cute! I thought he was quite bland before release already, but I was like 100% sure that it was because the twist was gonna be that he was mass produced.

And then after finishing the game I had a little phase in which I hated him because he was super fucking plot important, yet he didn't do anything and this made me angry, lol

Forgo

As soon as my eyes landed on it, I thought it was Elfilin after some horrific experimentations. But then they showed the actual Elfilin lmao. I thought it was really cute and I didn't want to fight it, thank god it transformed before we fought it. Then I was just awestruck.

Also my mom randomly asked me what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said something like "a mental parasite species"

Elfilis

The first thought that crossed my mind after seeing them was "oh god they have my exact favorite color scheme I'm gonna be obsessed with them, aren't I?". Breathtakingly beautiful, of an angelicity(?) never seen before from Kirby. Throughout April 2022, I occasionally woke up in the morning wondering wether they were just a dream. The fact that something like them existed in the Kirby universe was astonishing to me.

🩷Impression now🩵

Elfilin

I still think he's severely underdeveloped, but I'm more cool with that now. He's cute and silly and fun, he's a nice contrast to Forgo, and generally an adorable sidekick. Tho I wish there was more of him.

Forgo

Baby. It's very cute, strikes pretty well the balance between creepy and goober, and the superior gemini in my opinion. I like putting it in situations :3

Elfilis

A MOUS!!! As magnificent as the first time I saw them. Except they're now my muse, my guardian angel. My view of them has kinda shifted from "stereotypical perfect lifeform" to "the embodiment of life itself", which kinda recontextualizes them, especially given how hard each mous fought to stay alive, and I find that very inspirational.

I love Elfilis.

🩷Favorite moment🩵

They don't have that many moments so uuuuh

Elfilin

Finding the Light! Perfect way to end the mouces' arc, and goes to show how much of a sweetheart he is.

Forgo

The iconic "everything shall be consumed" is iconic

Elfilis

The only thing that they do, their boss fight 😭 it's stunning and I find myself replaying it more often than normal

🩷Idea for a story🩵

Elfilin

Definitely a plotline where they tackle that he can learn something from Elfilis and/or Forgo as well. I don't like how y'all treat him like he's perfect.

Forgo

I'd like to see it getting used to living a normal happy life :3 the baby has suffered enough

Elfilis

ELFILIS PROLOGUE PLEASE!!! About how they attacked earth and stuff and their capture and maybe even Neichel cameo!!!

(I will not let you forget about Neichel)

🩷Unpopular opinion🩵

Elfilin

As I said before, I hate when people make him out to be this little goody-two-shoes without a single flaw who's juts the embodiment of niceness and kindness and will always do the right thing. Like no??? It's not all black and white! Let him be a proper multilayered character! Let him make mistakes and learn from others! Let him learn from his literal other half!!!

Forgo

Whenever someone says that Forgo is Elfilis an angel loses their wings. Starting from the fact that the game heavily implies if not downright states (I'm on plane I can't check I forgor) that Elfilis = Forgo + Elfilin, why would anyone choose to take two different characters in different situations with likely two different outlooks (ELFILIS WAS SPLIT INTO TWO FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLOT!!! ELFILIS HAS THE HERO OF THE STORY INSIDE THEM!!!) and reduce them to a single, more limited being? Plus, most people with this headcanon are also the "Elfilis/Forgo is pure evil and an irredeemable monster!!!!" people who also really piss me off. Like yeah okay YOU chose to headcanon the traumatized baby and the insane mous as the same character. YOU are the one taking away all the nuance they could possibly have. Also as I said before THATS A TRAUMATIZED BABY!!!

Elfilis

I strongly dislike the headcanon that Elfilis absorbs other creatures into their dna. I feel like it ruins a lot of the charm they have, at least for me, by making their ethereal presentation be stolen from other creatures rather than it just being who they are. Also, while I am a Good Elfilis defender, I love the idea of them destroying planets for fun. It just goes to cement how otherworldy and above it all this creature is. So yeah, I feel like this headcanon takes away a lot of their appeal for me personally.

I also don't like when people make them always angry and grumpy, like do you realize half of them is Elfilin?

🩷Favorite relationship🩵

This is entirely headcanon-based as the mouces don't really interact with anyone besides Elfilin with Kirby

Elfilis and Elfilin and Elfilis and Forgo. More than the three of them together, I prefer each baby mous with Elfilis on their own.

I'm gonna briefly summarize my hc dynamics for them cause I love mice.

Elfilis and Elfilin - Elfilin

As I said before, Elfilin's feelings on his big sibling are very conflicted. On one hand, he feels safe with them, and looks up to them. On the other hand, he fears them. The fact that they just wipe out planets without second thought disturbs him. Although he'd never admit it to himself because he loves them so much. Elfilis, however, is very much aware of Elfilin's feelings. And as much as they're devastated by the guilt of having hurt their little ones so much, they dismss Elfilin's compassion as naivete due to his young age and time spent with the beasts. They're sure he will outgrow it one day and see his superiority, ans in the meantime they remind him that he's their little one and that they'll always love him.

Elfilis and Forgo - Forgo

Forgo sees itself as nothing but a temporary form of Elfilis, unworthy of being seen as anything but. And it's not taking this whole "coexisting with the actual Elfilis" all that well. If the actual Elfilis exists, what purpose does Forgo have? This sends them down an existential crisis. Elfilis doesn't like that. And they're desperate to help it break free from these beliefs. Also, Forgo always saw Elfilis in a very idolized way, as a ruthless monstrous destroyer. But that's not all there is to Elfilis, they can be a little silly sometimes. And Forgo is SEVERELY disappointed. It often calls them an idiot and then feels bad about it because nobody should be reproaching the almighty Fecto Elfilis. Also it exclusively refers to them as "Great One".

🩷Favorite headcanon🩵

Elfilin

Can I be honest? No fucking clue. Maybe that Elfilis teaches him how to fight?

Forgo

I'll make it quick so as not to repeat myself, that it sees itself as nothing more than a temporary form of Elfilis.

Elfilis

The idea that they have no motivation is very important to me. Specifically that they do things purely out of enjoyment. That they're just a force beyond our comprehension who sees everything as insignificant and is just trying to have fun.

ALSO THAT THEY LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH!!!

[doverstar]

Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!

Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-

I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!

I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!

And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.

If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)

As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.

I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.

Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.

Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!

Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!

You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.

Thanks for asking me!

[innocentimouto]

Do you think the show/franchise should acknowledge that Jet Is one of Iroh’s victims?

Do you mean because the Rough Rhinos were under Iroh's command (or at least their leader was)?

At first I thought no, just because the show moved on from Iroh's flaws and never gave us anything in terms of his victims. I don't see them doing it, let alone doing it right. Also Jet would get even more hate.

But say they could do it right. Then yes, it would be incredible. Even if Jet still died, so long as it was made clear to characters like the Gaang or Zuko and Iroh that he was one of Iroh's victims, I would be happy.

Whatever opinions there are about Jet's actions in war, he did something. He was resourceful and strong; he could have fled somewhere else or survived on his own (however long that would last considering the war). But he chose to help others.

Iroh never did that. I don't think Iroh helped Zuko either, but say he did. One, that's not great when Zuko was invading Sokka and Katara's home or when capturing the avatar. Two, Iroh still never helped anyone in the war against the Fire Nation until the very end.

It makes sense for a character like Jet to be the one to hate Iroh and make it clear that just because the man is elderly and kind doesn't mean he didn't do horrible things in war and then became content with doing nothing to fix it.

It even fits within the storyline. They met on the way to BSS. Zuko's arc needs to go somewhere. Iroh's arc has been stagnant for a while. Jet's trauma hasn't been properly conveyed. Having Jet bring up what Iroh has done, in detail, possibly with victims from Iroh's siege against BSS, would be a great way to force Iroh to be confronted with his actions and forced to give his thoughts on it.

Does he care? Does he care beyond feeling remorse? Has he ever thought about helping people against the Fire Nation?

It also helps Zuko's arc. He's still on the Fire Nation's side, but he's seen the other nations are just regular people. Would having Iroh state whatever his views are on this affect Zuko? If Iroh just brushed it all away with a small shake of the head and some words about letting anger go, would that make Zuko uncomfortable? Because now he has faces to possible victims. And Jet is great with words and can definitely hurt people with them, so I doubt he would stay quiet at whatever Iroh would say.

Or would Zuko simply not care and side with Iroh because he's always known what Iroh had done? Zuko burned a village down himself. Only thing he's done lately is complain about poverty.

It could go either way for them, but I think things would be clear with the Gaang. If confronted with Jet's words, and neither Zuko nor Iroh care or offer much in return, I don't think the Gaang would be that receptive to accepting Zuko later.

The Gaang has never heard Zuko say the Fire Nation propaganda he was fed all his life. I doubt they would forget it if he somehow justified the Air Nomads being massacred. I doubt Sokka, Aang, or Katara would be okay if he justified waterbenders being killed.

Calling someone a peasant or trying to kill them is one thing, but hearing someone explain to you why your people were wiped out and that it was right is not something most people will forget.

(Also we can get development with Toph and her thoughts on the war. And Suki wouldn't get her words about her village being destroyed turned into a joke. Also Haru, because fellow earth kingdom kid who most likely heard terrifying tales of the Dragon of the West.)

And seeing their reactions---horror, grief, rage, pain---no matter how behind Zuko could be on his arc, that would stay with him. He's a teenager. He's hotheaded and selfish and entitled. But he's not a monster. He feels emotions. And while I disagree strongly that he had a good redemption arc, by BSS, he at least had some doubts about some things.

It's an established way to bring Iroh's character back to morally flawed, which is good. Too many things are canon for Iroh to be anything better than that. He learned firebending from the dragons, but still continued killing innocent people? He stood by while Zuko got burned? He let Ozai take the throne without ever challenging him despite being the rightful heir and supposedly realizing the war was wrong?

Iroh had the best chance to at least slow the Fire Nation before Aang appeared. The thing about Iroh is that he's always been content to sit back and not do anything. He wanted Zuko to make tea with him within the walls while the war was coming to a close and we're expected to believe he cares about the wellbeing of other nations? About the war itself? Iroh was one of the strongest firebenders in the world. He had a responsibility to at least atone for the deaths he caused, if not outright confront Ozai.

If you meant that Jet got brainwashed because of Iroh and then eventually killed?

I don't really blame Iroh for Jet's death. I strongly side-eye Iroh for acting completely innocent about what Jet was rightfully saying despite Iroh supposedly regretful for his actions in the war and yet not caring at all that he got an innocent kid arrested by police that everyone knew were capable of making people disappear.

[thegeminisage]

okay. massages temples. it's time for. a star trek update. last night we did voy's "the omega directive" and (grits teeth) ds9's "his way."

the omega directive (voy):

right out of the gate, it's really difficult how many times they said the word "omega" in this episode. i tried very hard to take it seriously but only succeeded for about 60-70% of the time

we had our first real seven/chakotay scene in this episode, outside of him being the one to help sever her from the collective. i still don't totally see janeway/chakotay/seven in my mind palace but i'm working on it.

loved also the chakotay and janeway conversation but "closest friend" lol like we are literally being hetbaited. tuvok is her closest friend. b'elanna is probably chakotay's closest friend. janeway and chakotay are not close friends, they are lovers. not that being lovers means you can't also be friends! but that's not how they made him say it.

i thought this was a really good episode like...touching on seven's idea of religion/spirituality (even if we had to work in some racism re: chakotay's spirituality) without being too heavy-handed or dumb

janeway and seven clashing once again...mwah. ✌👅 or whatever. i admit sometimes this feels a little repetitive, but because both actresses deliver such good performances, i can't be too disappointed.

i am grinding my teeth a little at the logistic details of this episode. while the character stuff was very good and a WELCOME relief after a string of truly horrendous episodes, the plot was like swiss cheese. destroying this particle supersedes the prime directive? what happened to it being, you know, prime? in fact, BECAUSE they destroyed it, an entire civilization will die...not because of the prime directive but because we chose to ignore it. which you can't do! it's the prime directive! how imperialist for the utopic fedderation to impose their laws on civilzations that haven't even reached warp yet! janeway is trying to protect the safety of this quadrant? it's not even her quadrant! what gives her the right! is she just that afraid of losing warp capability and hiding behind federation regulations? let's dig into that! except they dug into none of that. a glaring flaw on an otherwise really good episode.

his way (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it........BUT I'M GONNA

(i actually ran into the character limit for paragraphs talking about it, so i have abandoned the normal bullet list format lol)

man, okay, like...how do i even begin to express my disappointment. not just in a ds9 let me down way but in like your favorite teacher being disapointed in you kind of way. the old janeway lecture in the ready room kind of disappointment. just a bone-deep, didn't-know-anyone-was-capable-of-fucking-up-this-bad, disappointment.

ik i said this already but no WONDER people hate kira/odo as a ship, down to even the actors. i've had some problems with how it's been portrayed lately (6.03 and 6.04 what were we DOING), but i've been willing to ignore them because i'm used to giving ds9 the benefit of the doubt and because i like the ship so much. after reading the summary i knew this episode would be bad and possibly also have kira/odo content and was prepared to try and enjoy whatever i could and write off the rest. but this was just unforgivable start to finish. i couldn't find even a single moment i liked.

let's start with the obvious, most egregious offense: kira does NOT want to be hologrammed. we had an ENTIRE EPISODE about it in which ODO HIMSELF helps her yell at quark about it. making her up as a hologram for odo to practice his kira wooing skills on was a huge violation of her rights, wishes, autonomy, etc. she should have been furious. this episode definitely commits a lot of sins, but i think this is the one that is most blatantly disrespectful, and also ties in to the biggest issue i had (more on that in a second).

the holodeck character was fine, or could have been fine. as far as holodeck episodes go, if any show could make me like them, it'd have been ds9. and the guy himself was FINE, and likable even, until he started breaking the rules of what was possible (contacting odo through the communications system when his hologram should have been deactivated, for example), and what was ethical (setting odo and kira up under false pretenses). now suddenly he is annoying and i hate him (and i feel bad saying this, because i know fandom likes him and his actor recently passed away - this episode was not his fault!!). illogical and unethical holodeck fuckery is the LAST thing i expect from ds9, which always sets out to critique some of the things from other star trek shows that make no sense or ignore potential ramifications of hand wavey world-building, which, again, HAD AN EPISODE ABOUT IT BEING UNETHICAL TO HOLODECK KIRA.

i think also it's really weird and unfair to suggest, through quark, that odo "waited too long" to make a move on kira when they SPECIFICALLY had an entire conversation (that i loved!) about how odo had been thinking about asking her to dinner and then decided not to because of the impending threat of cardassian takeover. they MUTUALLY AGREED ON and were MUTUALLY RELIEVED BY the idea of putting the revelation of odo's feelings to the side to focus on business, and that conversation actually allowed a really unique and lovely dynamic to form in a very organic way - odo loves her, and she knows he loves her, but the burden of having to give him a response to those feelings is totally removed. he's not asking for a response. he isn't asking for anything. she isn't obligated to give him anything. and on the flip side, he is relieved from the burden of having to hide that love. it is simply allowed to exist peacefully between them. this ALSO ties into the biggest issue i had with this writing, which is...

where were kira and odo? cuz they weren't in this episode. we seemed to forget their histories, their desires, their dynamic, and even their god damn personalities in order to replace them with some vaguely uncharming couple from a low-budget hallmark romcom?? hello???

like, think of the popular trek romances, or the couples that fans think of romantically. spock and kirk (and bones if you like) are people defined by loneliness who understand each other on a deep level they can't get elsewhere and soothe that loneliness with each other. both spock and bones and janeway and seven challenge each other's ideas of humanity and how the world works. chakotay finds peace in serving janeway's needs after the turmoil of a hopeless war and she finds a safe place to let go of her captain job with him. dax's flippant personality encourages worf to relax and his strict personality gives her someone to both tease and rely on. sisko and kassidy get to nerd out about baseball together, yet both understand their duty/morals come before their feelings. julian and garak both understands what it is to need forgiveness, and julian's compassion plays well off of the cold-hearted nature of a former obsidian order operative. even in fucking TNG, you had will and deanna who both love trying new things and are down to clown and want to go on adventures together. kira and odo have a dynamic, too, but it was not present in this episode - this, the episode where after FOUR SEASONS OF BAIT they finally make it official??

like, odo is stiff and unyielding, yes - but that means he doesn't find it in himself to loosen up by playing a fake piano for fake people. even DATA, in fucking tng, recognized that when he told bad jokes to a fake crowd and they laughed anyway because they were programmed to do that, that the entire exercise was without meaning. and data is WAY more autistic than odo, all my love to both. odo is not some nice guy incel type who wants to have kira simply for the sake of having her - he didn't fuck anybody in his entire life until like season 5 and that episode was ALSO really fucking bad. odo doesn't need to loosen up in order to pursue kira - IT IS KIRA WHO MAKES HIM LESS UNYIELDING. that is the entire point of them! when they first met, they were both seen as beings without personhood, whose lives had no value. she appealed to his humanity and asked him to see hers so she wouldn't be left to the mercies of the cardassians. it worked because she appealed to the HUMAN inisde him (for lack of a better word) which no one had ever done before. in heart of stone, he even says to the fake kira that she changed the way he felt about his OWN NAME, which was given to him because it was the cardassian word for NOTHING. HE WAS NOTHING. SHE SAW HIM AS MORE THAN THAT. this is, CANONICALLY, the basis of this relationship. this episode was so good BECAUSE he discovered such a pivotal moment was based on a lie. it was IMPORTANT.

and kira in this episode had almost no voice at all. she was someone to be sought after, chased, and then ultimately had after her "perfect moment of clarity" - which then lost meaning because she had two in a row - and which we never got to HEAR about. how does she FEEL? this is the episode where they get to together! but she never gets to tell us. it's an egregious offense considering her voice is usually a loud one, like her emotions - so loud, in fact, that odo is usually kira's rock, her calming presence. from the very first season, she has gone to him in times of emotional turmoil, because he so rarely lets that kind of turmoil rock his boat. he keeps a level demeanor, and he is able to sort through a lot of her anger and fears with a level head. when she is considering betraying an old friend in the THIRD!!! EPISODE!!! odo is the one she turns to. odo always has her coffee and reports ready on time. he will inform her if anyone she knows comes to the station or goes missing or whatever. he respects her wishes even when he doesn't agree with them. the fake kira, a perfect replica by most estimations, even agreed that they were not the type to bullshit each other. odo is safety and predictability in the stormy environment of a post-war bajor. WHAT WAS HER MOMENT OF CLARITY? probably not that, but we'll never know because SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TELL US. she existed only to be pursued. the episode is even called "his way" - yes, a play on "my way" by frank sinatra, but still - it's like odo finally got HIS WAY and was able to have kira like he'd always wanted. "i've waited so long to hold you like this" is there really NOTHING else he wanted from that relationship? one might even argue odo wouldn't know what to do with that kind of love, how to express it in ways like physical affection - that could be part of why he was able to love her silently for so long. we saw hints of this in the season 5 episode, with future odo - there was a distinct lack of that odo telling her what she meant to him and why, which is nuts, considering our own odo was able to do that for lwaxana troi at their FAKE WEDDING when he only loved her platonically - but at least that episode had personality and merit. this had none.

and for all the trappings - the candlelit dinners, the music, the fancy dresses - this episode was DEVOID of true romance. the only moment where they had any chemistry at all was the kiss, and it was entirely out of character. a bicker-bicker-kiss scenario is GREAT and it's one of my favorites, but it doesn't fit THESE CHARACTERS. the kiss they shared in season 5, with future odo, had more personality than the one from this episode. in that, you could feel his longing, the release of his pain, and her uncertainty, along with her compassion in wanting to give that to him. in this, they got mad, and it happened so fast...but they aren't a bickership. i love kiraodo, and i love bickerships, the two things are just NOT the same. kira and odo argue only very rarely and when they do it's about very serious shit, like, kira's fucking worldview in "you take down the cardassians with me or i will fight you too" kinda shit. "our first meeting was based on a lie" kind of shit. they COULD have had a knockdown dragout fight about odo's use of a holo-kira (which wasn't even his idea, to be fair, but given his normal respect of her autonomy was EXTREMELY out of character for him to agree to use), but she wasn't allowed to have opinions or a personality in this episode, so they instead argued over absolutely nothing to shoehorn in a romcom scene that did an injustice to both the characters and their relationship.

furthermore: ableism. walk with me here. again, odo and kira MUTUALLY AGREED to put the question of a romantic relationship on hold for the time being. if both or one of them were ready to pursue that question again, both of them are capable of bringing that up like the adults that they are because part of this dynamic that they have is that they don't BULLSHIT each other. that's why the Big Lie was such a big deal! that's why kira feels so safe unloading on odo! that's part of why odo admires her! the idea that kira has gone to bajor to hook up with shakaar either because she was genuinely tired of waiting for odo to make a move (WHEN THEY HAD AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION ABOUT WHY HE WAS NOT YET AKING A MOVE AND SHE WAS RELIEVED WITH HIS DECISION) or because she was trying to HINT that it was time for him to make a move is ridiculous. kira nerys does not HINT at people. if she wanted something from odo, she knows good and damn well all she has to do is ask. in fact, unwilling though it was, he has already laid his feelings on the table - the ball is technically in HER court. (even in the 90s, this idea that the guy always has to do the pursuing is old and tired and sexist.)

but i am getting off topic. how does this come back around to ableism? it's the idea that, in the defiance of this canon, odo does not have to simply bring up to kira how he feels, or what he wants to do, but that he has to "loosen up." the idea that he's too weird, too socially inept, and that his natural personality and preferences and way of doing things and his past experiences are obstacles to be erased and overcome rather than THE UNIQUE REASONS KIRA LIKES HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE is insulting at best and yeah at its worst ableist. what did he even do at the dinner with kira that was so different from what he normally does? he stammered a lot and paid her a couple of compliments. he reminded her that he likes her. it was technically a date - one he didn't even ask her out on. are we saying odo, in-character, could not have done a better job than that without tired, outdated, "get the girl" lessons from (sorry, doc) a fucking hologram? even BARCLAY got better treatment than this. in tng! tng, which isn't even good! barclay, who is not even a good character! the things that ACTUALLY made him weird and undatable were things people venerated as "representation" while odo's less palatable personality traits need to be trained away during a self-playing piano musical number in order to make him fit to date kira. like it's un FUCKING believable.

finally, and this is a petty little nickpick, but i think i'm entitled at this point: the kiss being in public. kira and odo are both STUPIDLY private people. they are both REALLY uncertain about how their relationship will change by adding romance. they don't like people poking their noses into their business. kira only told ONE person about odo's feelings for her and only one person knew about odo's feelings for kira (if you don't count mommy changeling, which i don't). at one point it was one of odo's most closely guarded secrets, to the point of him hiding it from garak UNDER TORTURE and giving him the other big truth instead (that he wanted to go home) because of how vulnerable it makes him. and you want me to believe these two people just lost their heads in front of everyone on the promenade? you could have sold it to me if the rest of the episode was good and i might have loved it, but this episode was GARBAGE.

i have no idea what will happen with odo and kira from here out...i really hope it will be good, because i absolutely love the ship, but more and more i worry that they're just reducing them to "nice guy who finally got the girl" and "girl" and if that is the case i want no part of it. i find it MINDBLOWING that ds9 - ds9! - could screw up this monumentally, but it has, and now i just have to. deal with that, aaaaaugh.

anyway. TONIGHT: voy's "unforgettable" and ds9's "the reckoning." sheesh.

[messymindofmine]

I've debated whether or not to say this but it's something that's been weighing on me a lot lately. I feel like something we need to address in this fandom is the harsh judgement and lack of grace towards our wonderful characters when we see them mess up.

I know that this season really knocked us all for a loop with Carlos's big reveal. I definitely didn't love the entire "secret marriage" storyline but the way some people reacted to it baffles me. I totally understand being angry. There is no denying that the storyline was full of plotholes and didn't mesh well with what we'd seen on the show in prior seasons. That said, I have to disagree with the people saying that it ruined Carlos's character or that it didn't make sense for him. Here's the thing, Carlos has never been perfect. He's been shown as being flawed and making mistakes since the beginning. It's just that up until this season, his mistakes have often been blamed onto others (usually TK) or ignored entirely. Since the beginning, Carlos was held on an unrealistic pedestal. Even criticisms of him being a cop were met with hostility. Then this season gave us Carlos messing up in a way that could not be blamed on anyone but him and it sent many people into a tailspin. As a result, they either still tried to pin the blame onto someone else (chiefly Iris) or they acted like Carlos's character was irrevocably ruined and started to act like they'd never liked or defended him, maybe to give themselves a feeling of superiority or not to come off as hypocrites. At any rate, I understand feeling upset that a character you love has messed up in such a big way but that doesn't mean that the character is ruined. I hate that Rafa felt like he had to get people to fall in love with Carlos again because I certainly never stopped and I know plenty of others (I would even go as far as to say most of us) didn't. It doesn't surprise me that people reacted that way though. What happened with Carlos is exactly what we see happen in real life with celebrities that have been put onto a pedestal by their fans. As soon as that celebrity messes up in a human way their fans can't excuse or ignore, many of those same fans will turn against them completely and even act like they never liked the celebrity anyway because they can't handle the thought of their fave being human. Such is the danger of idealizing humans. Not every flaw needs to be defended, sometimes these flaws need to just be accepted as part of being human and given grace. And that's what makes our characters so relatable to us. They are human. That's also why the anger towards Carlos this season was so jarring. Because it is something that has never really happened before and some people have gone from one extreme to the other. Well, Carlos is a human and he has never been perfect. I am sorry to the people who were disappointed by him this season but I fail to see any reason why so many insist on acting like he's completely ruined or refuse to show any understanding or grace as to why he did these things in the first place. A character without flaws would never be a fully realized character and it would be a disservice to the fandom. I'm not saying that a lot of the criticism wrt Carlos's storylines this season aren't valid or that people aren't allowed to be upset about the way certain things were done this season. I certainly have my criticisms but Carlos is a rich, complex character and that's what makes him so realistic and lovable. Valid criticism of a character's actions is one thing but to tear a character apart and then act like you never blindly defended them is another entirely. It's just gross and hypocritical. Most of all, the people who relate to Carlos in this fandom should not have to feel threatened or that their feelings and experiences don't matter.

Iris is another character that has been torn apart by fans this season. The people who still refuse to admit that Carlos isn't perfect have decided to pin the blame for the marriage onto her even though it has been made very clear that Carlos was the one who initiated the idea. But the negativity towards her didn't start this season. It's been there since her first appearance in 1x09. Even back then when we knew nothing about her beyond her being Michelle's sister and that she had schizophrenia, people chose to hate on her rather than show compassion and understanding. Back then, I saw Iris being referred to as "selfish" and "ungrateful" for refusing treatment. She was made fun of for the behavior we saw in 1x09 and 1x10 without people taking into consideration what she would have been dealing with. This season though it was taken to another level. People were even acting like Iris forced Carlos to stay married even though Carlos himself admits that he never even visited her when she returned. Obviously, Iris didn't even know TK existed and because she needed the insurance she got from the marriage so Carlos would have needed to be the one to initiate a divorce or annulment. Beyond that, we had some scenes of her behaving in a way that is out of the ordinary to neurotypical people but the reason for that was made very clear yet people still chose to use it against her. The way people acted like she was somehow standing between Tarlos is ridiculous especially since we literally had her saying onscreen that she wanted Tarlos to have a real marriage unlike what her and Carlos had. There are people in this fandom who can relate to Iris and they don't deserve to feel like they are less than or that they are not safe because some people can't handle the idea of a character not being perfect and so pin the blame on the easiest target.

TK has been a punching bag for many in this fandom since the beginning. From the moment he walked out of that dinner in 1x02, even though we all knew why he did that, people lashed out at him and it hasn't stopped since. Until this season, even the tiniest of conflicts between Tarlos have been blamed on TK. People have gone so far as to say that he's a terrible partner because he brought a lizard home. The breakup was entirely blamed on him and I remember seeing fics that killed him off during the Push era. People straight up accused him of cheating with Cooper in 3x13. They did the same thing when he dared to smile and joke with a bartender in 2x04. Nothing TK does for Carlos is ever enough and his actions (or non-actions for that matter) are constantly twisted to make it seem like he doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him. Even his proposal hasn't been safe from this. People keep saying that it wasn't good enough because he didn't buy an expensive ring and take Carlos to a fancy dinner. And this constant criticism and judgement never goes away. People keep bringing up past actions or even things he's never even done for the purpose of tearing him down. I've even seen people say he sucked because he didn't support Carlos in 2x08 even though when everything with Carlos was happening, he was literally being kidnapped and held at gunpoint. I have actually seen people say that if they were Carlos they would've killed TK by now. I've also seen people say that TK's biggest problem is that he doesn't appreciate how lucky he is. I have seen so much ableist and offensive language used that I can't even begin to talk about it here. It's not always just anger either. I've seen people just mocking him for certain behaviors that are completely consistent for someone who deals with addiction and mental illness. There are people in this fandom who relate to TK and the microaggressions towards them (and TK) don't get called out enough IMHO. And it's worth adding that a lot of the language that has been used towards TK has also been used towards Iris. I know people who actually had to step back or leave the fandom entirely after the Cooper episode. People who can relate to TK and tried to explain why he was acting like that and what Cooper's place in his life was were attacked. And it doesn't always just pertain to the show itself either. Even now during the hiatus, if someone talks about the impact Carlos has had on TK's life or what great care he takes of TK, they are accused of not caring about Carlos or favoring TK. But if the talk about how much TK has done for Carlos, they are accused also accused of favoring TK. It seems like not only is TK not allowed to be a vulnerable, complex character with lots of wonderful attributes, people in the fandom aren't allowed to love him either. Things from past episodes and seasons are constantly brought up as "proof" of how much TK sucks. Even Ronen has talked about how he feels people often misunderstand TK or ignore his struggles. In fact, he did it just this season in a post-4x04 interview. People kept saying they wanted TK to prove his love to Carlos by rescuing him (because I guess everything else wasn't enough) and when it did happen, they complain that it wasn't good enough. When TK was the one who needed support for the first time this season during the Huntington's arc, people mocked him for being over-dramatic. Then they said that TK had better have really great vows because he needed to match what Carlos said to prove his love. Then when we saw his vows, they now say that the vows weren't good enough and that TK wasn't emotional enough even though we can see him sniffling and hear his voice crack. Basically, even when TK does the things people insist he needs to do, it's still never going to be good enough. And when any comment about the way he is treated by certain people is brought up, it's often dismissed, downplayed or ignored and the people who actually relate to TK continue to feel unsafe and ignored when they try to speak out.

If there is one character that is literally never safe from the wrath of the fandom, it's Owen. Literally everything that Owen says, does, doesn't say or doesn't do is used as a reason for people to say he is the worst father or the worst captain. It's like people watch him from a completely different lens than they do all the other characters and somehow this lens doesn't show them any of the positive things about him. Much like Carlos, Iris and TK, so much of Owen's actions can be explained by his trauma and his experiences. This is a man who deals with the worst kind of survivor's guilt and has experienced unimaginable loss since he was a child. He has a son who struggles greatly with his mental health and addiction yet in that son's own words he has never given up on him. He is the one that brought all the characters we love together in the first place and so much of the happiness they have now is partly due to him. Yet somehow people ignore all this in favor of ripping into him every chance they get. He can't even talk about sex in front of his adult son who very clearly has no problem with it without people calling him a terrible father.

To be clear, I am absolutely not saying that the issues mentioned above represent the entire fandom. I can honestly say that being a part of the LS fandom is more pleasant than any other fandom I have ever been in. But like all fandoms, and indeed like real life, there are issues that I think should be addressed even if the ones causing them are in the minority. Because the problem is that it doesn't matter how small the minority is when they're the loudest of the bunch. And sometimes it really does seem like the loud minority drowns out the majority who are just trying to have civil discussions and enjoy being a part of a fandom and that should never happen because fandom should be a place we can all feel safe.