#i did this because im a crazy person
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sin eater
#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however#when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane#uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will#which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity#if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good#finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously#and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person#thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi murder drones#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#uzi fanart
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Solas and Mythal’s relationship is that perfect blend of fucked up and tragic I have been wanting from them for a decade. The mother and her child, the two lovers, a queen and a general, the dog and its master, the servant and the lord. Love it. I knew I sensed fuckery with the way solas talked about her despite ‘burning her off his face’. Then to see him shrinking up in front of her, how he groaned ‘mythal’ in dread and even began to hold the dagger out towards her to take bc he knows he’ll do anything for her if she asks. man needs therapy for his absolutely disastrous and problematic situationship thank you for letting me watch your traumas unfold like that king
#dragon age#if anything i wish they'd made it MORE fucked up!!!#it's honestly wild to me that they even left it as vaguely fucked up as they did considering how much they sanitized the game#also my love to hate her isn't even entirely from solas its bc i romance morrigan lol#in case the mythal defenders get on my case about calling her The Worst Best Person#it is The Abusive Mother in her that will keep her on the list#im a solavellan who is like WOO MYTHAL unhand him shebeast!!! but also go girl traumatize everyone you love#i know you're all sorts of fucked up as you became retribution. i wish we could have seen you as a proper goddess#because you're power hungry and unhinged with a need for vengeance despite the alleged motherly kindness#she has always been my favorite character to hate but also love she's so complicated#unfortunately her design is mid AF!!!!! in veilguard but she's so cool. i know you were supposed to be cool babe#i love that she's so unapologetic and bc of it you swing big hammers at her as a dwarf#'oh but she loves modern elves' ??? where??? the ones wearing her slave markings? crazy. love her though#personally i think modern elves and solas and morrigan and every dwarf that has ever existed#should hit her her with sticks until she moves on to a new host#prawn posts#tagging this as a ship would be a crime
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happy birthday to the cat lover ever of all time... my worstie matoba seiji 🐈⬛🐈
#natsume yuujinchou#hexfest2k24#matoba seiji#natomato#natori shuuichi#natsume's book of friends#matonato#its been 4000000 years since i did anything for a fan event but i need to pay my natomato taxes .#theyve been living rent free in my brain since i reread natsuyuu last last year..? i forget. they just make me crazy#this is also my offering for natori's bday because although he is one of my favorite characters ever of all time#i fear i do not have the time to drop several hours on another full illust........#so i hope my favoritism is clear in how lovingly i have drawn him instead <3#i wanted to do a season theme bc i have a shitty summer joke to post maybe tomorrow but idk if i can cook up stuff for the other two seasons#in time.... its okay... this is enough for my taxes considering ive never drawn them properly before#my bestie who loves matoba is always genuinely so sad abt how his love for cats is unrequited but personally its one of my favorite things#get humbled idiot...(with love) (with affection) (i say as i retweet every single art of him on twt for his bday this year)#haha matoba has zero cats but i have two at home!!!!!!!!!#im sooo excited for next week's volume release i am so so normal. im normal
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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cw // tattoos, piercings
why are they so loud about liking blondes .... i haven't slept in months pLEASE (<- not a blonde enjoyer)
even the version thats not in DOL universe likes blondes too 😭😭😭
slight cameo of whitney the faithful that belongs to moosen/jdolh !! (no tag cause its just smol cameo 😭)
#WHY ARE YOU THREE MAKING THINGS SO DIFFICULT#STRANGLES ALL THREE ERI#PLEASE LET ME SLEEP#LET ME REST#I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN MONTHS !!!! STOP BEING SO DAMN LOUD IN MY HEAD#<- actually sounds like a crazy person#like these three would start crawling all over the walls in my head#whenever i read some random media#and it has a blond haired man/woman#ESPECIALLY LOUD if the blond haired man/woman have red eyes#im tired of this !!!#LET ME FUCKING SLEEP DAMMIT#STOP KEEPING MY UP WITH IDEAS I CANT KEEP UP!!!!!!!!#oh and also its such a surprise i draw whitney so much because if i met whitney irl#he's getting pepper sprayed idc#but these three like him#so i cant complain ERBFHJERBHFBERF#dol#dol related#degrees of lewdity#dol pc#eri the orphan#eri (oc)#ERI I DID NOT MAKE YOU A BLOND LOVER#WHAT HAPPENED THAT MADE YOU A BLOND LOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fan art#art#mine#my fan art#my art
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like i'm trying to find the words to explain why i found don juan in soho to be so profound and interesting but all i'm coming up with is "they stabbed dj in the dick and when he comes back up to do the curtain call you can see the blood on his pants 10/10 attention to detail and commitment to the bit"
#don juan in soho#david tennant#sorry. evil casanova got to me. i don't know#IM KIND OF SO OBSESSED WITH HOW DJ DEALS WITH THE TICKING CLOCK COUNTING DOWN TO THE END OF HIS LIFE#HIS RECKONING WITH HIS MORTALITY HUMANIZES HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE#BUT LIKE STILL#DOES HE WANT TO DIE DOES HE HATE HIMSELF FOR WHAT HE IS OR DOES HE JUST NOT GIVE A FUCK#HE WANTS TO LIVE AS HE PLEASES AND WOULD DIE IF HE CANT HAVE IT#SO WHAT DOES HE WANT TRULY#DOES HE HAVE A HEART DEEP DOWN OR IS THERE NOTHING THERE#IM CRAZY#WAS WHAT HE DID TO ELVIRA A BREAKING POINT FOR HIMSELF AND THATS WHY HIS SUBCONSCIOUS CRIED OUT TO THE STATUE#WAS THERE A SECOND OF HIS APOLOGY TO HIS FATHER THAT WAS GENUINE#OR DOES HE NOT CARE AT ALL#WAS HIM KEEPING STAN AROUND WITHOUT PAYING HIM BECAUSE STAN IS THE CLOSEST THING HE HAS TO A FRIEND#AND HE WANTS TO IMAGINE THAT STAN IS STAYING FOR HIM RATHER THAN HIS MONEY#OR IS HE THAT CASUALLY CRUEL TO THE ONE PERSON CLOSEST TO UNDERSTANDING HIM#HOWWWWWWWW MUCH IS HIS LACK OF AUTHENTICITY LACKING IN AUTHENTICITYYYYYYYYYY#HOW MUCH OF IT IS CRUELTY AND HOW MUCH OF IT IS SELF HATRED#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME HE SUCKS SO FUCKING BAD IN NEARLY EVERY WAY AND I'M ENRAPTURED#if i were stan i would stick around purely to try to study him like a lab experiment#ok
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revisiting this site every now and then to reminisce in how much it shaped me as a person and defined me as a literal child
#cuz i was looking thru old youtube playlists right#and i found this one video edited by wooly abt the time spicy went crazy over a kuroo x joe crackskip (hilarious btw)#(also i cant find spicy did they deactivate forever help)#but like something about the interactions. and seeing myself during that time. just hit really really really hard.#like that was a little girl. she was 12 or 13 or whatever and the people on this site were her entire world#and she'd wake up every morning and check her dashboard and send asks and break the post limit and that was like#a significant part of my childhood. and then one day i just stopped logging on.#and i never even realized it but i talked to some of these ppl for the last time and didnt even realize that that was the last time#the people who i swore id meet in person one day. i knew everything about them and they knew everything about me#and now theyre just memories. and i refuse to call that era of my life cringe because i wouldnt have had it any other way#sorry im really senti. i need to find people again i miss them#and now we've all grown in different ways. yk the meeting people twice thing? yeah.#when u all met me i was second yr middle school and now im second year high school#theres so much i had on this site. some days i want it back
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imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane
like father like daughter.
(pr0/c0mship dni)
#Rick and Morty#rick n morty#rnm#ram#fanart#Birdperson#Birddaughter#bird person#bird daughter#phoenixperson#phoenixdaughter#phoenix person#birdrick#if you squint#ive had this idea for a long time i hope no one beat me to it#ive doodled her a little but i was DYINGGG to make her a full design so . behold#rick and morty oc#angst#i tried to make it look like bp got his ass kicked in a fight with her before eventually shutting her down . if that wasnt obvious#i have lots of Thoughts for why i made her design the way i did so feel free to ask :p#blood#cyborg#something something parallel to rick projecting all of his negative experiences onto beth and continuing the cycle of abuse etc#compared to bp who tried his best but his kid was doomed to fail being the child of a criminal and the leader of the federation#my original caption for this was 'birdpersons worst nightmare'. because imagine seeing via ur best friend#the kind of negative effects that letting your past control your life can have. so you vow to do better for ur future family#only to watch your kid end up JUST. LIKE. YOU. especially all the parts of you you didnt want her to be#and having to wonder if it was your fault. IDK IM INSANE IM CRAZY birddaughter best charatcer i need her back </3#cloudysarts
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the greymarrow x fleabag is going on main sorry guys
#greymarrow#sea of thieves#oc x canon#fleabag#sot#2d digital#IM FINALLY AN OC X CANON TRUTHER LETS GOOOO#i literally mentioned fleabag once. however i have been rotating him and greymarrow nonstop in my head#what if we were once best friends forever and you died and i brought you back but you werent really the same but we could still pretend#and what if you could never really be your own person again and did everything i said because you didnt have a choice cuz your soul was lik#bound to mine and my will#anyways wouldnt that be crazy
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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Thinking about Jam again and how angsty I can make the next fic after My Girl
Found this on a discord server I'm on lol and immediately went "me and the urge to make angst as angsty as possible"
#i could make it mildly angsty but overall fine#OR i could rip tim to shreds and force him to put himself back together only to kill jay and rip tim to shreds again because “its his fault#that post about the dangers of choking has me THINKING#like. ive already set up jays consent issues. i can go HAM with them if i want. i can make tim thunk hes getting the basics of consent#through Jays thick skull and then force him to realise that no. no jays still incredibly fucked in the head and does not understand his own#ability to say no or anyone elses. i can make him need several days to come to terms with what happened. i can make his system go crazy#trying to protect themselves from the emotional fallout of what happened and split a whole new person just to handle it because jesus#fucking christ literally no one they already have can properly handle dealing with Jay. and then i can make it so that they HAVE to go to#benedict hall together. and I can make entry 80 happen. i can make Jay die because Tim insisted they split up because he still cant handle#being around Jay again yet (which. fair im not gonna blame him i dont think anyone would wanna be near Jay after that lmfao. Alex certainly#didnt did he?)#just AAA i have so many thoughts!!!!!!!#how many of these thoughts will i actually write into SIL canon in the end? god only knows :D#marble hornets#mh sorry its locked#fic/series rated e on ao3#in case anyone would prefer not to read that#mh jam
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actually really genuinely makes me so incredibly sick and sad to think of s1 will, who was terrified and losing his mind and no one helped him, especially not the people that he trusted. that line he has that goes "sometimes, at night, i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields... when I look back from a distance, the house is like a boat on the sea. it's really the only time i feel safe." and i think about how scared he was and how he had to leave that person behind, because he would've died, and in that sense he really died anyway
#hannibal#and it's hard because i do like hannibal as a character! and i know that's really what the show is about i.e showing that he doesn't have#the same morals as regular people and he sees will as incredibly vulnerable and with incredible potential. so he targets that potential#and will did grow into that dark potential! but in doing so he had to basically leave a significant part of himself behind#but he was SO SCARED. and completely alone except for his dogs. because every single person around him just wanted something from him#and he was losing his mind! i know in a diluted sense how incredibly hard it is to understand that youre acting crazy and understand that#everyone around you is losing their patience. and so he turned to hannibal. and hannibal betrayed him in really the worst way possible#because he wanted to see what would happen. agh.#and he walked to the edge of the trees anyway and turned back to his little house like a boat and felt safe. FUCK#what im saying is that it really isnt fair but there was no world in which it wouldve been fair really. even a world without hannibal#because the world isnt fair to will graham
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sadly crawls into the room. hi my sweeties
#i’m still a bit upset abt what happened earlier tbh#idk. i was fine until i saw what that person said about me#which is apparently now a deleted post#i have a screenshot tho cause i wanted to show my sister..#maybe because i was already not Good but what they said just really was very hurtful#it felt like such a low blow and so unnecessary ..#i talked things over with my sister#yeah i was being a little mean but i was just cranky and venting in my own personal space#there really was no reason for that person to say the things they did..#i genuinely wasn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feeling or anything i was just really cranky#and i do feel like i should be able to be a little bit of a bitch sometimes in my own personal space !#i feel kind of embarrassed cause im worried i pissed off some of my mutuals i actually like#not that bitch tho. they vague posted abt me before when i was having a breakdown and called me crazy and a red flag#maybe i am the problem maybe they’re projecting i don’t know#but i just want everyone to know im never actually trying to be mean and if i ever do upset someone pls just talk to me about it#like an adult ;-;#snow.txt
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i don't think you've made a solaris design yet.... but am i allowed to request solaris anyways. or will i get beaten with two billion hammers until i die. for this.
No hammers for you, these asks hold me accountable to actually design the characters...
Filled a double page spread with just her...thus the 'Oops! All Solaris'
On THAT note, +2 sketchbook pages filled, 6/30 completed. I have 2 weeks until my hand in so I gotta pick up the pace. Blimey.
#waugh ty for the ask a lot of this was me getting a feel for her design but...im very fond of it...idk.... it's kinna fun#her shapes are nice..i loosely based her body type on my mom#it also took me a hot MINUTE to figure out what she'd wear then i remembered dungarees exist#I also like her in a jumpsuit kinna thing like prism#i just got silly with her!!! I'm trying to push myself more and more with my art idk if you can tell#like yk I'm trying hard not to fall into skinny and white etc etc eventhough im just getting dtarted with people and such#and yk i have improved and that's crazy to me because i look at stuff i did a month ago and im like hm! im doing better#and that's. awesome#i love it here#also uhh i really like giving characters an eye shape to fit their personality it's fun to me so yeah. permanently lidded eyes for her#she has 2 emotes unlocked/j#but nyeah!!!#[agent moose's art]#ieytd#solaris#commander solaris#tw healed scars#tw scars
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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