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writer-and-thrasher · 1 year ago

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Fic in Review 2023

Thanks to @trentcrimminallybeautiful for the tag! I'm (fucking hopefully) starting to get over being so deeply ill after two whole weeks, so I decided it was the time to do this! Yay!

tagging: Literally anyone who wants to, plus I'll tag @providing-leverage, @jamietarttdoodoodoodoo, and @trentcrimmisgay (sorry if you've already been tagged or if it's too late, my brain is rebooting)

Total Number of Completed Stories:

I completed 8 fics this year (1 for Dimension 20 and 7 for Ted Lasso)!!! It's way more than I planned to write in a year, especially given that four of them are over 10k words and I genuinely didn't think I was gonna write any fanfic this year. All in all, I'm really really proud of how much I've written!

Total Word Count: AO3's word count put me at 63,919, which... woah. The one D20 fic I wrote this year wasn't even 2k words, which means that I wrote over 60k words of Ted Lasso fanfic in 6 months. I didn't start writing for TL until June, which honestly makes me even prouder and more excited for tackling stuff next year!

Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, almost exclusively. I've also written for Dimension 20, and I figure I will more when Fantasy High: Junior Year releases, but for now I'm on a pretty big TL kick.

Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: I expected to write way less than this! I'd hoped I'd write some, but nothing was really grabbing ahold of me until Ted Lasso crashed into my brain.

What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:

Ooh, that's really tough. I'll split it into two because I can't choose:

In my Dichotomy series (I'm just really proud of it tbh), my favorite of the fics was The Dichotomy of a Captain, aka Roy's perspective. It felt the truest to any of them, though I continue to try to stay true to all of them. It's also the first of the fics in this series that made me realize I really could finish the series.

My favorite one-shot of the year is probably Out of Practice, if only because sometimes I get WIP ideas and rarely follow through, but I worked hard to finish this one. And also, I really like watching through Isaac's eyes as he learns stuff about his best friend.

Did you take any writing risks this year?: Honestly, I think the fact that I came back and started writing again was my biggest risk of the year. I wasn't really sure of my voice or style, and it was intimidating to come back and keep writing, but the community made a world of difference.

Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: I've got different WIPs I want to write, like finishing the Dichotomy series and a few series I have in the bank. I think more tangible goals are to get more comfortable with writing new scenes and being more comfortable with past tense. I've always been drawn to canon-explicit stuff, and for some reason, present tense has me in a headlock lmao

Best story of the year: I don't know that I can say anything is "objectively" the best, since fanfic is subjective as hell anyway, but I feel like The Dichotomy of a Captain is the one I feel is the best written. But that one is also my favorite, so I may just be biased.

Most popular story of the year: I'm stealing @trentcrimminallybeautiful's way of doing this because I think it's good, so shoutout

By kudos: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 268

By subscriptions: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 52 (This was originally going to be one work I wrote the series on, but someone suggested I turn it into multiple works in one series, and this one was first, so it has the highest)

By comment threads: "The Dichotomy of a Captain" with 14

By bookmarks: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 65

By hits: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 2604

Overall, definitely "The Dichotomy of a Couch", though I did admittedly post it first. But also, wow, these numbers are super humbling, and I'm honored that anyone has read and reacted to what I've written. It means the world for this fic (and my others) to be so kindly received.

Most personal story of the year: Most definitely Who Tells Your Story. No contest.

Funniest story of the year: Ooh, I genuinely made myself laugh while writing The Dichotomy of a Prick, so I'd have to say that one. It's the least serious, and writing Jamie's thoughts brought a smile to my face.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Mmm, I guess Who Tells Your Story.

Most fun story to write: I gotta go with The Dichotomy of a Prick again, it was a breath of fresh air between two very serious parts of this series and amidst other more serious one-shots.

Story with the sexiest moment: I genuinely don't write sexy fics, so the answer is going to be very silly. The best I've got is an illusion to a sexy moment in the past during The Dichotomy of a Prick, but Definitely nothing actually sexy lol

Sweetest story of the year: I gotta go with Who Tells Your Story again, considering that I wrote it for the sweet moment.

“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm also gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous and say The Dichotomy of a Captain

Hardest story to write: The Dichotomy of a Prick was hard to write on a more technical level as far as Jamie's POV went; I was really conscious about not fucking up his character or writing him too OOC. But considering how personal it was for me, Who Tells Your Story gave me some gut punches as I wrote it that made it hard emotionally.

Biggest disappointment: I think that some fics I liked didn't do as well as others that I didn't like as much, but I also know that my writing got better over time, so I'm really not dwelling on it.

Biggest surprise: Writing again in general, definitely, but also how much love I've gotten for things I've been really excited about. I fully didn't expect so much kindness (far more a me thing than anyone in this community, y'all are wonderful) and it's definitely inspired me to keep going. Y'all are amazing and I'm so grateful for all of you.

#ted lasso #fanfic #dimension 20 #wrath fic #fanfiction #wrath #fic in review #ask box is always open #thank you all so much #happy new year

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beatricebidelaire · 2 years ago

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lonely people on a rainy night

Things are not the same without Beatrice and Bertrand around.

~2.4k. Kit Snicket / Frank Denouement. pre-canon. timeline is not long after b&b left VFD, and way before k&d ever got together.

****

It’s very late that night when Kit arrives at the Hotel Denouement.

Her messily tied up hair and long black coat are both wet from the heavy rain. The umbrella barely had any effect during the short distance from the hotel’s parking lot to the lobby. She grimaces as she closes the umbrella, and surveys the lobby out of habit.

It’s pretty late already, and due to the weather, barely any guests are arriving at this hour, so the lobby is quite empty. There’s a concierge mopping the floor at one corner, and at the front desk, Frank Denouement raises his head and meets her eyes.

“I thought you’re coming back tomorrow,” he says, his tone neutral as usual, like it usually is when in public, even though the lobby is very nearly empty.

“I was,” she makes a face. “But the road to the small inn I was originally planning to stay at is completely flooded, so I thought I’d drive back to The City. It’s just a couple more hours anyway - far fewer traffic than usual as well, because most people aren’t going out in this rain.”

“Rational people,” he remarks.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

A hint of a smile appears on his lips ever so briefly before disappearing again, and he hands her the key to her usual room. “Go take a shower, Snicket. You’re ruining my just cleaned lobby floor.”

“How unfortunate,” she drawls, taking the key. “See you after your shift.”

****

2 hours later, after she’s properly showered and dried up and made herself a nice cup of tea while reviewing the notes in her commonplace book, she knocked on the door of Frank’s office - he’d just about gotten off shift.

“K,” he nods when he opens the door, letting her in.

“F,” she replies.

The door clicks shut behind her.

“Things aren’t looking good,” she says, cutting directly to the subject of her latest assignment. “As we suspected, some of G’s notes on the fungus were stolen before the fire, and it’s fallen into the hands of some firestarters who didn’t actually recognize the value or the danger of them. However, after they were all killed during the firestarters’ infighting two months ago, the notes have been lost and there are barely any leads on how to track them down.” She pauses. “I mean, best case scenario, they’re all destroyed. But since they’re just completely gone - I rather suspect that we’re not so lucky.”

He frowns. “Because if indeed no one recognizes the value or danger of it, they wouldn’t have paid much attention to it and we’d probably still find scraps somewhere.”

“Exactly,” she replies. “Which means, obviously, that someone collected them and hid them somewhere. It could be a volunteer - but I haven’t heard anything from anyone - and it could also be someone on the other side of the schism. That would be very dangerous indeed. Granted, they probably couldn’t continue the research too far without proper equipment and all that like G did, but the longer that information is out there in the open, the more risks it poses.”

He closes his eyes, silent for a moment. When he opens his eyes again, he says, “and we cannot be sure if a VFD volunteer having that information stored secretly is a safe thing, either. I mean, look at G …” he trails off meaningfully.

“We wouldn’t want another repeat of that,” she agrees. “Still, they might not be as volatile as G. But G didn’t use to be volatile either, and look how he turned out.” Her face is grim. “It’s almost like getting too deep in this specific research makes one volatile.”

He leans back against his office chair, his gaze holding hers. “Getting too deep in anything increases one’s chances of getting volatile, perhaps.”

She looks back at him, and for a moment, the silence in the room is tense. And then she says, abruptly, “I’ll make some tea.”

Not waiting for an answer, she stands up, and walks over to a counter and starts making tea. He doesn’t say anything.

“So,” she says, a little forcefully perhaps, as she sits down again once tea is ready, pouring herself and him a cup of tea respectively. “How are things on the recruitment front in The City?”

He tilts his head, his eyes narrowing, “You didn’t hear from J?”

“Haven’t got the chance to talk to him,” she says briskly. “We’ve both been busy.”

His lips are pressed into a thin line, in his usual disapproving manner that he rarely bothers hiding when they’re in private. But he doesn’t comment on her tumultuous sibling relationship with Jacques, and instead just says, “It’s getting harder and harder these days, especially with the new restrictions around The City. The High Court passed a new ruling the other day - you’ve probably heard - it was all over the radio.”

She scowls. “I’ve been long saying that I think our enemies have people on the inside - someone in certain positions that can influence the judges of the High Court. It’s their way of cutting VFD recruitment.”

“I’m fairly certain so as well - but we don’t know how high up they are. I mean, the fact that it’s been hard for us to get anyone in there suggests someone is blocking us out. Honestly, I told them to abandon these attempts - it’s quite futile by this point. We’d be much more effective trying to collect blackmail material on people if we want to influence the decision making.”

“Speaking of which, did the concierges collect any interesting gossip recently?”

“None too useful,” he replies. “As you know, most of the time spying is just collecting piles and piles of irrelevant information that may never be of use. Dewey’s been pulling late nights as well just filtering those information and categorizing them so we can easily look them up later. But so far, not much has come up.”

“How is he doing, by the way?” She asks.

Frank doesn’t answer immediately.

“As usual,” he says, finally, then adds. “He misses B. Both of them, really.”

Kit gazes out the window at the falling rain. “I know how that feels.”

We all do, he thinks. “It’s been … quiet. Without her around, especially.”

Her lips twist slightly, “As my brother often says …”

“... the world is too quiet without her nearby,” he finishes for her, then exhales. He thinks about Beatrice - ever so loud and full of life and overly dramatic and a constant annoyance in his life, until she no longer is. Beatrice. Energetic and full of emotions and feelings and never shy from displaying them.

How is someone so full of emotions and feelings so capable of - simply just cutting her old life loose and never looking back, he wonders.

For a moment, there’s only the sound of the rain splashing against the window in the quiet office. Frank meets Kit’s eyes, and knows that she’s thinking of the same thing. They’ve known each other too long at this point - just like they’d both known Beatrice and Bertrand for so many years.

Or at least, they thought they knew them.

Beatrice. Loud, energetic Beatrice. And Bertrand - calm and steady and dependable to many, with a hidden witty and sarcastic nature reserved just for close friends.

“It’s not the same, without them,” he admits, a rare moment of raw honesty. He doesn’t admit this in front of Dewey, insisting on saying things are in fact fine, just the same, partly to reassure Dewey, partly because he doesn’t like being vulnerable in front of Dewey, who he always felt like he should protect. And with Ernest - they don’t talk about Bertrand, who Ernest likes to pretend nothing ever happened between them to deal with the fact Bertrand was willing to leave VFD for Beatrice but not for him, and they don’t talk about Beatrice either, because that subject is never going to lead to anything good. They argue enough, as it is. No need to dive into a controversial topic that’ll surely end unpleasantly.

Kit, though - oddly enough, it seems easier, with her. Perhaps because they miss Beatrice and Bertrand similarly - not exactly the same way, but the closeness to them had been similar. And he doesn’t have the sense of duty or obligation to shelter her away from things as he does with Dewey, doesn’t have the strong urge to pretend things are fine to reassure her.

They always seem to share the same views on many things, and perhaps that’s also what makes it easier. They have the same kind of ruthless efficiency when it comes to VFD missions. They’re the ones making the tough calls, the necessary decisions, regardless how morally ambiguous those decisions may seem.

Jacques, he thinks, lacks the same edge. Bless him. He might actually be more loyal and believing in VFD’s ideals than either of them, but there have always been certain lines he wouldn’t cross. Frank admires that in him. He hopes he stays that way.

As for himself and Kit - they’ll make the necessary decisions so the others don’t have to. Decisions such as hiring children as concierge so they can gather information while hiding at places adults cannot fit in, probably.

When he looks at his brothers, it’s like literally looking into a mirror. But when he looks at Kit - sometimes it’s like metaphorically looking into one, he thinks.

“I still - almost hear Bertrand’s voice telling me to slow down, when I’m driving,” she confesses.

“Ah, your impulse control,” he remarks loftily.

She scoffs. “I don’t drive impulsively - every turn and acceleration is calculated.”

He rolls his eyes. “If you say so,” he permits, airily.

They’re silent for a few moments, before she asks, “You done with all your work tonight?”

“Work’s never done,” he shrugs. “But there’s always tomorrow.”

Her mouth curves up, a hint of faint amusement. “True,” she murmurs. She takes a deep breath, and looks at him. For the briefest second, her eyes are unusually hesitant, but then it’s gone. “I don’t quite want to be alone tonight,” she says. There isn’t much emotion in her eyes as she says this.

Is that the real reason you drove all the way back to The City? He wonders silently.

“We could watch a movie,” he offers. He knows that she and Bertrand used to do so, on rainy nights when they were forced to stay at the hotel after something was cancelled.

She looks at him. “Yeah, we could,” she agrees.

****

They go to her room and watch an artsy indie film he randomly selects from his shelf. It’s terribly boring and they’ve both had a long day, so they end up both falling asleep. When he opens his eyes again, the end credits are rolling.

Beside him, her head rests against his shoulder.

It’s only in these moments does he really notice her alikeness with Jacques, he thinks. Perhaps it’s because he’s too used to and knows too much about the difference of their personalities, that he often doesn’t see their similarities. But her eyes are closed and she’s not talking now, just lying there, having fallen asleep, and he immediately gets reminded of how they actually look quite alike.

He tries to carefully shift himself so her head can be on the pillow instead of his shoulder, but she wakes up at the movement, blinking wearily. “You suck at selecting movies,” she says.

He rolls his eyes. “You try next time, then.”

She scoffs, sitting up and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I hate him,” she says, suddenly. No context or whatsoever, no prefacing, no specific names or initials. But he immediately knows what she’s talking about.

He also knows that she doesn’t really hate Bertrand. She just misses him. She probably feels similarly about Beatrice as well, but she’d never declare out loud anything close to hating Beatrice.

“Yeah, me too,” he says, softly.

He isn’t exactly sure who started it, or how exactly did things suddenly shift, but the next moment, their eyes meet - she has Jacques’s eyes, he thinks, he always knows, of course, but still - and she’s pretty. Not in the Beatrice type of way, flashy and glamorous and takes everyone’s breath away, but she’s pretty. Her features and expression always a little too sharp type of pretty.

They kiss.

It’s - okay. Not lackluster, but also not thrilling or electric. It’s fine. Normal. Sort of nice to be able to have another pair of lips on his again after so long, actually. Doesn’t completely fill all the silence and void left behind and the Beatrice and Bertrand shaped hole, but - it’s something.

“You know, we’d make a terrible pair of lovers,” she says.

“Oh, absolutely,” he agrees. “We’re too similar.”

A ghost of a smile dances across her lips. “Exactly.” She pauses, and then adds. “If you tell anyone about tonight, I’ll murder you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Same goes for you,” he says.

Her lips pull up, a sharp, mean, teasing glint in her eyes. “Kiss on it?”

“Oh, very funny,” he scoffs.

They look at each other.

“Well, one last time,” he says. “One for the road, as they say.”

“One for the road,” she murmurs.

They kiss. Slow, steady, calm. Two lonely volunteers on a rainy night. It’s - nice, to just have another body this close that he can almost feel the warmth radiating from it. In the morning they’ll go back to being volunteers. Hardworking volunteers who don’t mind loneliness. There’s no sparkling chemistry in the kiss, but he doesn’t want any of that tonight anyway. He just wants - some physical intimacy with someone he can absolutely trust.

“I’ve always wondered,” he says. “Have you and Bertrand ever …”

“Oh, never,” she says.

“Huh,” he says. “Your loss, then, I suppose.”

She leans backwards onto the pillow, and starts to laugh.

****

He picks up his suit jacket on the chair, putting it on, and takes the videotape out. “Well, I should go.”

“Turn off the lights for me, will you?” she calls, from the bed.

“Sure,” he agrees. “I’ll see you in the morning, K.”

“Bye, F.”

He turns off the light and takes his leave, heading back to his office.

#asoue #kit snicket #frank denouement #frankit #i gave it some thoughts and decided yes #even tho i typed k/f as pairing #i am STILL going to use my brotp tag. because it counts #brotp: f for friendly e for evil #my writing

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chacusha · 1 year ago

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The Once and Future King (1958) by T. H. White

Okay at last -- after maybe 4 or 5 years of reading this, I finally finished?! I suppose it's not that odd that this book took me so long to read given that it's kind of 4 novels in one, and this book was my bathroom reading book (meaning it had to be read in little pieces at a time). Only through dedication and perseverence did I manage to get through this one. And then I took like two months writing up this summary/review... /o\

The Once and Future King is a retelling of Arthurian legend. Somehow this book ended up in my possession (my guess is that it was bought at a book/garage sale or given to my family by someone or something like that, and then I've just been carrying it with me from house to house ever since). I think my interest in this book was probably sparked by a combination of watching Disney's The Sword in the Stone, which was based on the first book of Once and Future King with the same name, and also generally hearing people reference Merlin's whole "experiencing time backwards" mechanic (probably this book contains the most prominent instance of that mechanic in fiction, and some while back, I encountered some characters in fiction who experience time differently, who were probably inspired by this Merlin), and then also I had seen either all or part of the musical Camelot, which is also apparently partly based on this book, so all of those things made me think I should probably read this book...

Also, my background for Arthurian legends is very weak. While I've osmosed some very basic things about it from general culture, I've barely read anything considered semi-canonical and don't really know any of the major stories.

The first book is apparently the most famous one, "The Sword in the Stone," which features a young Arthur ("Wart") being tutored by Merlin who turns him into various animals, and ends with Arthur pulling the sword out of the stone and being declared king of Britain. The second and third books were apparently written while T. H. White was living in Ireland as a conscientious objector for World War II, something that is kind of relevant to maybe both the general ethos of The Once and Future King and maybe also relevant to the subject matter of the second book, "The Queen of Air and Darkness," which takes place in the remote Orkney isles of Scotland and has various Celtic culture things going on. The third book, "The Ill-made Knight" focuses on Lancelot and is kind of a character study of him, although features various quests, stories, duels, etc. including the quest for the Holy Grail. Finally, the last book is "The Candle in the Wind" and covers Mordred and the fall of Arthur's Camelot.

It was funny reading "The Sword in the Stone" and just kind of seeing why it appealed to Disney's animators. There's a whole episode in "The Sword in the Stone" that isn't in the movie at all, but it features these two middle-aged knights, Sir Grummore and King Pellinore, having the most slapstick/physical comedy fight imaginable. Even though this scene (in fact, neither of these characters) appears in the movie, you can absolutely imagine this fight playing out with characters probably similar in look and personality to King Stefan and King Hubert from Sleeping Beauty, or the king and grand duke from Cinderella. I'm so surprised it wasn't included.

By contrast, the squirrel episode was an invention of the movie, but there is an episode in the book somewhat similar in vibe, where Arthur is turned into a migrating goose and goes on a dreamlike very long migration with a flock, which includes a young female goose who is obviously kind of interested in him, in a way that goes over his head.

Despite being medieval, a lot of the episodes in "The Sword in the Stone" seem to reference some contemporary or near-contemporary British archetypes. For examples, the falcons and other birds of prey that Wart hangs out with one night I think are meant to represent the British military officer class, and they have a distinctive way of speaking. The omniscient narrator also puts in a lot of anachronistic commentary, such as saying "Several hundred years later, this place would like X, but in this time, it still looked like Y."

There's an episode where Wart gets turned into an ant and basically it's T. H. White's cynical criticism of pre-war and wartime propaganda (in this case, by the British government based on the language/tone used, but probably applies to all countries) and how certain governments and a constant background drone (ant signals standing in here for radio) preclude the capacity for free thought or disobedience. In particular, there's this bit about a lecture that gets broadcast to all ants:

A. We are more numerous than they are, therefore we have a right to their mash. B. They are more numerous than we are, therefore they are wickedly trying to steal our mash. C. We are a mighty race and have the natural right to subjugate their puny one. D. They are a mighty race and are unnaturally trying to subjugate our inoffensive one. E. We must attack them in self-defense. F. They are attacking us by defending themselves. G. If we do not attack them today, they will attack us tomorrow. H. In any case we are not attacking them at all. We are offering them incalculable benefits (p. 129).

Reading this, I immediately got a mental image of that "Our blessed homeland / Their barbarous wastes" meme:

Anyway, being a pacifist in the UK during WWII was probably not the right choice, but as someone who has lived through multiple bullshit imperialist wars that were justified just like this, with propagandistic journalists painting anyone who didn't full-tilt support said wars as being unpatriotic and motivated by hatred of the U.S., and whose arguments featured this level of hypocrisy... I feel for T. H. White. IDK, being a pacifist in any time is hard.

"The Sword in the Stone" also features an episode where Wart and Kay adventure with Robin Hood and his merry men, who in this book are depicted as remnants of an older Saxon regime rebelling against Norman invaders. In addition to knowing almost zero about Arthurian legend, I also know almost zero about Robin Hood mythos and British history, so I have no idea how normal or just a niche theory this depiction of Robin Hood is, or how normal it is to mix Robin Hood and Arthurian legends.

The second book, "The Queen of Air and Darkness," is the shortest and also the weakest, probably. It introduces some characters who eventually become key players, but here they are bored children, and is kind of a study of Morgause as a witch and terrible mom, with some further Pellinore-related slapstick. Not a particularly interesting book.

The third book focuses on Lancelot and his characterization here is interesting. It may sound odd, but Lancelot's characterization reminded me quite a bit of my partner: perfectionistic, depressed in a "convinced I am ugly, horrible, deeply flawed, etc." sort of way, and deeply religious in a vague way while also somewhat lapsed/detached from religion. I was a bit surprised at how Lancelot as a boy is very much depicted as having a strong crush on an older Arthur here (not explicitly so, but the feelings are depicted as very intense), even though Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot is a very classic OT3 so that's not exactly surprising. In general, I quite liked the way the relationship between Arthur, Guinevere, and Lancelot was portrayed, especially the way all three characters age and grey over time, and their relationship kind of matures with them. The book never quite goes full OT3 with the three, though, because Arthur and Guinevere, while they love each other, seem to largely lack the passion aspect of love in their relationship.

Between the second book with Arthur and this third book featuring Lancelot, this book contains a lot of knights being tricked or spelled into sleeping with a woman out of wedlock and there being a child born out of that union who is Important later on. I checked and all of these stories of female-on-male rape are pre-existing stories, so it's not a T. H. White invention but just there in the lore. I find it a bit weird how recurring an element it is. I wonder if it's because people wanted to insert into these myths an original child character who is special -- therefore has to be related to one of the major knights -- but they have to preserve the knight's own chastity/moral purity, so the only way to insert a child is to have the knight be faultless this way.

Quite a bit of Once and Future King reminded me of the writing in A Song of Ice and Fire; I'm guessing this book was a major source of inspiration for GRRM. First, there's the book's tendency to go into Random Very Detailed Digression About an Aspect of Medieval Living. The random digressions are more varied in O&FK (featuring topics like very specific lessons on hawking, armor, battlements, and so on), but the digressions on the heraldry spotted at a particular tournament or all the dishes served at this particular holiday feast will feel very familiar... Second, this book features several "trials by combat" -- I don't think they're called that exactly in this book but they have the same form which is that if someone makes an accusation against someone else where evidence is unable to decide the issue, each party can choose a champion, and the verity of the accusation is determined by the outcome of the battle. This is a very bizarre legal practice, but it's featured in both O&FK and ASOIAF.

Another part of the Random Very Detailed Digressions of O&FK is that there are a LOT of types of birds mentioned at various points in this book, especially marine birds. Sometimes I felt like I was just always looking up unfamiliar bird names and being kind of surprised that the English language has this many bird types named in it. It was to the point that I wondered if the author was a birdwatcher (especially a marine-bird-watcher) as a hobby.

Thieves -- it is true -- could be hanged for stealing goods to the value of one shilling -- for the codification of Justice was still weak and muddled -- but that was not so bad as it sounds, when you remember that for a shilling you could buy two geese, or four gallons of wine, or forty-eight loaves of bread -- a troublesome load for a thief in any case (p. 510).

This is from another long digression in the book talking about how Arthur's regime dramatically changed the ability of people to safely travel. But reading this, I immediately got a strong "Lex Luthor stole forty cakes" mental image. XD

Reading this book was quite difficult because almost every page, I needed to look up some word or term or translate some text. There's a lot of archaic words used, Latin or French terminology, medieval concepts, medieval texts, Biblical stories, etc. that I needed to look up in order to understand what was going on. I only really noticed how densely these unknown words were encountered when I started reading my next bathroom book and got like 30 or 40 pages without needing to look up anything and was just like "???" after the experience of reading O&FK. 8|

The depiction of Mordred here is a particular resentful, hot-headed youth who attaches themself to any populist or nationalist movement that provides some kind of voice for unhappiness, whether egalitarian (or at least using that language of elite/non-elite, haves/have nots, etc.) or right-wing ethnonationalist. He is in other words a proto-fascist. He is also depicted as representing a certain kind of modernity, where his group of friends at court are all about wearing ridiculous fashion but with a tinge of irony to them. This notion of fascists who always distance themselves from their words and actions with a layer of sardonic irony was apparently as familiar to T. H. White as it is to me (see: 4chan and alt-right outlets/provocateurs).

The last book features Arthur wondering at length where does war come from, which reads like maybe T. H. White's own musings and attempts to puzzle that out. Arthur/White wonders first whether it's warmongering leaders who manipulate their populations into war, or warmongering populations who propel warmongering leaders to power; nationalist ideologies as a somewhat self-propelling mechanism (a complicated "impulse") that seems to be driving war; histories/past wrongs that rationalize vengeance and an inability to forgive and forget leading to neverending cycles of retributive wars, each last one becoming the justification for the next; whether private property/possession/wealth or social disparity lead to coveting what other people have and people who use that class resentment as an opportunity to power grab or make money and improve their standing; whether war is born out of fear of the inability to control other people from harming you. Again, all thoughts that are unfortunately way too real right now and evergreen, speaking as a citizen of the world's preeminent empire, waging war on a dozen fronts or more, and given current events...

It's hard to summarize this book. It's Arthurian legend, but only focusing I think on certain characters and certain parts of the story (maybe; I don't know). It's a historical book, containing a lot of general information about what life and the culture of the late middle ages were. It's a political book featuring T. H. White writing about his feelings on legal systems and war. Each of the four books here has a very different vibe with some focusing on adventures, comedy/slapstick, complicated/doomed love relationships, family or character studies, villains, politics and legal systems, or what it means to be a good person and a virtuous Christian. Overall, the book was quite difficult and slow-going reading for me, but I enjoyed it and I'm glad to have read it.

#once and future king #t h white #book review #arthurian legend

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tuiyla · 2 years ago

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oh no, I didn't watch Legend of Korra while it aired! I binge watched the four seasons in 2018 or 2019 (and yeah I did start watching the show because of Korrasami in particular), but I did watch most of Glee (from season three onwards) and Adventure Time (I remember Olivia Olson confirming that Marcy and PB used to date was what made me want to watch all of the episodes and be a lurker in the AT fandom way back in 2014 lol) while they aired. So my experience with Bubbline kind of resembles yours with Korrasami, especially the excitement over them becoming canon (I read many of your Bubbline analyses around the same time you posted them, for instance, and happened to find your blog again bc I'm currently rewatching Glee and was looking for Brittana and Faberry content). I also wish Bubbline was more often praised by media outlets too; Rebecca Sugar planted the seeds for it way back in 2011 with "What Was Missing", after all, before either LoK or SU began. I think they probably aren't given enough credit bc of (as you pointed out) timing (Bubbline only became canon at the very end of the show in 2018, while LoK made Korrasami canon in 2014 and SU had canonically queer characters ever since the s1 finale iirc) and bc neither PB nor Marcy were the show's leads and also who knows if the AT writers would've made their romantic relationship canon if SU and LoK hadn't happened (they certainly wouldn't have back in 2012, as the Mathematical controversy shows). And yeah, you're right that having expectations about Korrasami vs. interacting with the fandom and dissecting each of their scenes weekly really is a world of difference. That said, I'm still curious as to why you thought Korrasami were more well-developed than Bubbline? I mean, Bubbline received so many episodes solely about their relationship spanning over multiple seasons (and I know you know this ofc, you're a Bubbline expert), it's hard for me to see how Korrasami could compare (I remember I thought Korrasami was underdeveloped because Asami herself didn't get a lot of screentime, so idk if her being with Korra for 90% of her scenes in Book 3 would mean all that much (sorry!!), especially bc it felt to me that they really dropped the ball with them afterwards in Book 4. However, I only watched that show once; your review was interesting and made me want to rewatch it). So yeah, I'm asking why you thought Korrasami were more well-developed than Bubbline bc iirc you said you have a media studies degree at some point, so I think you have an interesting perspective that goes beyond personal preference.

Oh happy days, turns out you and I go way back Anon haha. That’s kind of a nice full circle then. Before Glee took over this blog Bubbline was the most I was ever asked about. I wonder if you remember that I declared them canon post-Stakes in 2015? Obviously no worries if not it’s just a fun thing for me to remember because I was the most fucking vindicated person ever in September of 2018 for that very reason.

I do indeed have a media studies degree (Media, Culture and Journalism uwu), something I often forget about lol and though I appreciate the credence you put in that I’m not sure that makes my perspective any more valuable, to be honest. If anything, I’d use that degree to further argue that it does come down to personal preference. I’ll always place Korrasami just a little bit higher and I have no intention of stopping you from placing Bubbline higher. I will get into some, let’s say, more media studies perspectives here but ultimately, like I said in the prev post even picking a more well-developed relationship is subjective. Do I have reasons informed by my £8,000 student loan, sure, but it’s also the emotional bias of Avatar meaning what it does to me and Korrasami meaning what they do me. Fun little side note before jumping in, but literally days before Adventure Time’s finale aired I actually wrote an article for a series talking first queer TV experiences. In that piece, I hailed both Bubbline and Korrasami as the two first instances of real, meaningful queer rep I saw on TV. I credited Bubbline as something that kickstarted not only this golden TV trend but my own journey, and Korrasami as something that gave me, personally, that final push towards coming out. Okay, side quest over.

So first off I need to acknowledge that this: “Asami herself didn't get a lot of screentime, so idk if her being with Korra for 90% of her scenes in Book 3 would mean all that much“ is kind of misconstruing what I said or at least taking only half of it. Asami’s character is admittedly one of the less developed aspects of all of LoK, but reading my original point I’ve also said that Korra, the main character who spends time with everyone and is focused on for the majority of the show, also spends more than half her screentime with Asami in Book 3. And that’s not insignificant. Again, don’t remember the exact numbers and fuck if I can find that post 8 and a half years later (😱) but the sheer volume of it. That screentime isn’t for nothing, either, as the two go from tentatively discussing past relationships with Mako to Asami symbolically taking a similar place next to Korra that Katara did to Aang. Or, in the same series and season, P’Li to Zaheer. Here is where I would advise watching the series again because holy shit how can you only watch LoK once?? Sorry that’s not a serious note I’m just incapable of not living in a world where I’ve seen ATLA ~15 times and LoK... ~7? Eight. Maybe nine or ten honestly who knows oh what’s that time for another rewatch?

Another imperfection of LoK I have to admit is the time jump’s effect on events. No one was more wary of a time jump happening in-between seasons than me and overall, I think it was not only the right shout executed well. That said, the comics canonize that this largely off-screen period was when both Korra and Asami realized they had feelings for each other and so the transition from Book 3′s best gal pals hastag friends forever to Book 4′s romantic undertones isn’t the smoothest. I think the signs are there, particularly in Reunion, but this is an area where Korrasami could have done better. Additionally, as mentioned the show does not give Asami her dues and her moments tend to be understated, her development very internal, a lowkey journey in a world full of exploding spirit beams and mountains literally moved. There’s a beauty in that but an understated beauty where the audience is required to put in the work. Contrasted with Korra, the actual centre of her show and when put together to form a joint development, it doesn’t do the most it could, had Asami been a bigger presence throughout the show. Love my girl, I continue putting her in my top 5, but her overall lack of focus in the show was to Korrasami’s detriment. That said, I’d still push back against what you said because Asami spending the majority of her screentime with Korra does mean much, even if she doesn’t have all that much screentime to begin with. We’re still talking about a major character whose character arc in the entire second half of the show is intertwined with that of Korra’s. Again, not insignificant.

The reason I started off with where LoK is lacking in this regard is to point out that Bubbline is plagued by the same curse of relying on off-screen development. As you yourself stated, Marcy and Bonnie weren’t the leads in their show, unlike Korra being the eponymous character and Asami growing form tertiary character to deuteragonist-adjacent levels. Their disadvantage comes from a combination of this overall placement in the series’ character hierarchy, Adventure Time’s general structure and, I’d argue, the timeline of their relationship. Which is where I promise what I just said about off-screen development will become relevant. First the two points about character hierarchy and series structure because they’re intertwined. Bubbline did have episodes focused entirely or almost entirely on their relationship as a perk of the AT structure but the downside of that is that these were 10 minute chunks every three years or so. AT is mostly Finn and Jake running around and having fun and whole the show does get deep as early as season 2 and evolves beyond its two main characters, Marceline in particular was in very few episodes compared to the overall scope of literally hundreds of episodes. This means that when she does appear, when they do have substantial roles with PB it is significant, yes, but that time in-between passes in-universe as much as it does in the real world. This is most notable after their reconciliation. I think the arc from What Was Missing through Sky Witch and into Varmints is done well and we can see how they gradually rebuilt... whatever it was they had. (Distant Lands makes their past relationship and breakup explicit, but we’re not considering that retroactive confirmation for the purposes of this.)

It just feels strange to compare that, essentially a three-episode arc told over the course of, jesus, 4 years(!) to how Korrasami had Books 3 and 4 to develop. It’s just so apples and oranges. Jfc, thinking about it the three episodes I mentioned are essentially a trilogy but it took AT four years?? Insanity. Anyway, like LoK had its challenges I think AT did too in its structure. Even if we overlook that, to see this Bubbline trilogy for what it was in terms of their reconciliation the audience had to a) remember and b) infer a lot, post-Stakes PB and Marcy fulfill different roles in the story. Used to be, in Marceline’s case, that she appeared rarely but when she did she was the focus. After season 4 or so, PB’s appearances were also less frequent compared to her earlier run but more significant. After Stakes I feel like there’s a shift where they hang around more but are often designated to the background even Marceline. And save for Broke His Crown, the “meet the surrogate dad” episode, which came very shortly after Stakes, there are no more Bubbline Episodes™ until Distant Lands watered my crops with Obsidian (which I’m not over, btw). Meaning, Bubbline-centric episodes are all about the reconciliation and even though I declared that they became canon in Stakes, there’s little actual focus on and therefore development for them later on. And again, apples and oranges, hard to compare to Korrasami’s gradual but more constant-feeling development over two seasons compared to a bazillion but it just doesn’t feel more substantial.

And, the off-screenness of it all. The fact that Bubbline were implied, subtextually, to have been an item before (subtext no more obvious than Korrasami’s) so their story is fundamentally different. We don’t see them meet and develop feelings for the first time, we essentially see the get back together. That’s an entirely different dynamic where so much of their story happened hundreds of years before Finn was even born. Again, Distant Lands shows some of that but at that point they’re already a couple again and we’re not looking for further development of the past. (It’s welcome, I eat it up, if just doesn’t contribute to development re: becoming a couple.) There’s so much unsaid and people like me did infer it but there were those gaps occasional episodes every third season maybe filled out. It’s so different from following the journey of the main character and another major one from her established group of friends. And even after Stakes, which is what I consider them getting back together but is never explicitly confirmed, things happen off-screen. Case in point, who’s to say Stakes is actually when they restart a romantic relationship! Literally just me, internet rando. These more focused episodes we get before Stakes are great, but they carry a lot and imply gradual development in-between. Meaning things had to happen off-screen and we have to try and imagine certain dots to connect, so not too dissimilar from what Korrasami requires to truly buy their story.

I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, though I would have wanted much more Bubbline post-Stakes. I just think we see what we want to see, and I wanted to see both Bubbline and Korrasami. I inferred and connected those dots for both as I followed the two series as they aired, and I don’t think watching LoK years later, knowing the finale, people do that. Or watching AT years later, even just the Bubbline eps, knowing the finale, people do that. It’s just in the nature we consume media and why binging is... an interesting topic. Off-screen events implicitly require for you to take that time away from the text, consider what might be happening in the meantime, and get back into the flow willing to accept that some time has passed. And with LoK’s structure, even with the time jump, I think this is easier to accept them with AT’s. And with Korrasami’s arc happening almost entirely on-screen and getting to follow from the very beginning, as opposed to Bubbline having these long-ass lives and tumutous past that’s mainly only hinted at. It still works, obviously, I still love it, but LoK feels more like tangible development to me. On the note of AT’s difference in structure, there’s a lot AT implies and leaves up for interpretation, that’s just the kind of show it is. But in terms of developing a Sapphic relationship in Western animation at a time where that was Super not allowed (as opposed to now, when it Kinda is), it’s just not the best combo.

The emotional investment I gave Korrasami was there with Bubbline as well, of course, and I was more than willing to connect those dots and imagine them and just do everything. As you know, seeing as you read those posts back then. And this is still subjective, but if we’re talking actual on-screen development than Korrasami’s reading between the lines as opposed to Bubbline’s annual breadcrumbs just felt better handled and certainly better paced. It’s a difference between the series themselves but a difference nonetheless. And yeah, having so much of their story happen off-screen just didn’t do Bubbline many favours in this regard. LoK’s approach feels more hands on, more continuous, more tangibly traceable whereas with AT and Bubbline we were dropped down in the middle of the rode, at the lowest point at that, were told to guess what the history was and then hopscotched our way to the conclusion. It worked, I loved every second of it, I went feral with every single Bubbline moment, but they were few and far between comparatively.

Again, as a final note: I’m not going to convince you nor do I want to. I hope you’re not looking to be convinced about Korrasami here because I can’t transfer my own emotional bias. Sounds like you’ve read a lot of what I’ve written on this blog so I hope you know I mean this in the nicest way, but I frankly don’t have the bandwidth to be debating Korrasami’s development. Obviously you’re not questioning their validity but in the aftermath of LoK ending I had to fight for that validity a lot and it was of my own free will but it took a lot out of me. Arguing for Korrasami well-written-ness is just not something I really, truly want to put my media studies degree behind because I had to fight those fights before I had that degree and in such hostile environments and I’m just tired. Been in the trenches, one might say. I just wanna enjoy my favourite ship of all time without justifying it, you know? And again, I mean this in the nicest way possible and I wouldn’t have engaged with either of your asks if I had thought they were mal-intentioned in any way whatsoever. I appreciate you asking these questions and engaging in a convo and it’s really good to hear that you’ve come full circle with my blog, from Bubbline to Brittana. I’d be happy to talk more about any of these couples with you, including Korrasami, I just had to make this disclaimer that I can’t argue more than I did in this post for their development. In particular, not against Bubbline of all ships haha, I inadvertently feel like I’m putting down something I also deeply, deeply love when viewed in contrast with Korrasami.

Did I just rank Bubbline below Korrasami again today, yeah. And I would say that, in whatever almighty metric “development” is, Bubbline has less just by virtue of not being the main focus of their show and much of their relationship happening off-screen. But I really feel like these distinctions are meaningless when both ships mean the world to me, and I wouldn’t normally be thinking about which one I value more if not for rankings on tumblr dot com. Even with everything I said “against” Bubbline when stating my case, I still go batshit insane for them because they’re a ridiculously good duo of two characters who are already well-rounded with deep lores individually. And together? My gosh. Empires have fallen for less.

#between the kind of media attention korrasami garnered and running an avatar fan site as lok aired #i've heard it all about korrasami and i just wanna enjoy my fav red and blue bi girs and their love #the middle got away form me because i had dinner ashjkjsk #idk i was gonna say more about this elusive offscreenness but i think you get it and i'm not in the business of convincing anyway #anon #avatar asks #at asks #should i like go back and tag those old bubbline asks hmm #korrasami #bubbline #at times it really feels like i'm dragging at and bubbline i'm really not lol #i go INSANE over how excellent that show and that relationship is #it's wild

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kenobster · 1 year ago

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Omg, thank you for the tip about pillowfort being run by antis!

Ahh, I'm so relieved to hear that the tip was helpful to someone!! :') Thank you for saying so!

I also I wanted to answer with more information on it because, sighs, idk, I'm worried lots of people have never heard of the Pillowfort Shenanigans™ in the first place... which troubles me... because, as an author of taboo content and an opponent of censorship, I really do not want Pillowfort to succeed. In fact, I very much hope that they fail. 🙃

Note: In full transparency, I have not kept up-to-date on Pillowfort happenings in some time. I don't know who owns Pillowfort currently or what changes they have made (or apologies they have given), and, though I very much doubt it, it's totally possible things are different now. This post is just my recollection of the events that happened in 2018 and 2019. I do vouch for this post's accuracy, but please do not take my word as law.

Back in the winter of 2018, when Tumblr announced its decision to ban female-representing nipples, a lot of us were looking for a new place to kick open shop. There was talk amongst fandommers about making a social media platform like Tumblr but with the same fan-run principles of AO3. Fortunately, a handful of people had already taken on this venture a couple of years prior, and they happened to be ready just in time to seize this opportunity. Thus, a website called Pillowfort was launched in the conclusion of a Kickstarter. At the time, this was quite appealing to the Tumblr userbase, who flocked in droves to purchase their $5.00 Pillowfort accounts. Unfortunately, the people who started Pillowfort seem to have been (1) completely uninformed on how to run a website, and (2) completely uninformed on what made their inspiration so successful. Specifically, I'm talking about AO3's commitment to the ship & let ship/YKINMKATO ideal, which allows any content so long as it is legal. Lots of people would likely argue that this very principle is a large part of what has kept AO3 from the content purges that used to be extremely common. A phenomenon that Pillowfort, even in my brief experience, did not escape.

Around the end of 2018, Pillowfort released a policy statement regarding its stance on explicit artwork & underage characters. This policy statement forbade any "explicit visual art of characters that appear to be underage" (emphasis added). In other words, Pillowfort, after presenting itself as a solution to Tumblr's ban on sexually explicit fanart, had now decided to impose limitations on sexually explicit fanart? Let alone with wording that should raise immediate red flags to anyone who knows their fandom history? In case you're thinking they had some secret reason for this decision, the kind of fanart Pillowfort described in their policy statement is not illegal in the United States, in which Pillowfort was basing its terms of service. Additionally, at the time, Pillowfort was not even available to users under 18 without signed parental permission. (At least IIRC.) As far as we know, Pillowfort's decision was based solely on staff's personal preference. The post goes on to clarify their stance with the following:

"Now, due to the inherently subjective nature of trying to determine the age of a fictional character in a stylized medium, the "gray area" cases will be up to the discretion of the moderator reviewing the content. . . . We are not going to comb through the wiki of a particular fandom to try and find the canonical age of a fictional character. . . . Any explicit or sexual art of a character that appears to be physically pre-pubescent or barely pubescent (i.e. not plausibly or arguably of age, or even close to it) will be prohibited." (Emphasis added)

So... basically... what they're saying... is that if I post some sexually explicit but fictional fanart of two consenting adult characters, then Pillowfort user Karen Cuntsdottir could still potentially get my fanart deleted... and simply because it looks to both Karen Cuntsdottir and a random moderator as if the characters haven't finished puberty. Even if the actual canonical age of the character is over 18. Cool. 🙃 For those of you who may think this is a reasonable decision (which fuck off if so), this can get really dicey for characters who are otherwise consenting adults but with large age gaps, height differences, or naturally youthful appearances. As for anyone who maybe uses sexually explicit fanart like that to cope with their own CSA or who enjoys it for any other totally acceptable reason because it's fiction? Sorry, buddy, you're tough out of luck. Plus, I know that Pillowfort claims in their statement that they're not gonna go after dark content or whatever, but anyone who has a working brain knows that censorship of creative works is always a slippery slope.

In Pillowfort's defense, the argument can be made that people are allowed to consider personal preference in the creation of their own website. Unfortunately, this is not where the story ends. If you'll notice, their policy statement begins, "We apologize for not clarifying our position on this earlier; we have been working on revising the ToS to address these issues, but an incident arose today that necessitated us taking action on this matter, so it seems necessary to put things in plain terms now" (emphasis added).

What the hell incident are they talking about? Well, friends, this is where things get gross. Assuming the allegations are true (and no one, not Pillowfort, not any of its users, nor anyone else seems to have challenged their veracity), the whole reason for Pillowfort's policy statement was because of an incident that occured between Pillowfort and one of its users called Ojicon.* Earlier on, Ojicon had tried to log into their account and was unable to. Despite the bugs and lags and weirdness continuing to plague Pillowfort to this day, Ojicon soon discovered that their user page was redirecting everyone to a 404 error page, and that all of their comments and posts on Pillowfort had been removed. Eventually, Ojicon put two and two together and figured out that Pillowfort had banned their account... and it had done so without sending any kind of email or communication. In fact, Pillowfort never initiated any communication with Ojicon; it was Ojicon themselves who reached out to Pillowfort for information. Eventually Ojicon got their answer. Their account had been banned for a post featuring lolicon fanart—something that, at the time, was not against Pillowfort's terms of service. For further context, Ojicon recounts flagging their fanart using the NSFW feature, putting it beneath a read-more cut, and properly warning for underage content in their post. Despite this, Ojicon was given no warnings, no suspensions, and no chances to remove this fanart. Ojicon's entire Pillowfort account (an account Ojicon had paid for) was summarily banned without any notice whatsoever—and again, it was banned for something that had not been against the rules. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Pillowfort did confirm all of this in their response to Ojicon's email as follows:

"Yes, you were banned from the site today by a moderator. It is true that our ToS doesn't clearly define a limitation on pornographic fiction or art (we have been working on a revision of our ToS to address this issue but it isn't finished yet), so if you contributed to our Kickstarter or PayPal and want a refund then let us know and we will provide it."

*Note: Unfortunately this happened so long ago that it's hard to find legitimate sources for the exact goings-on described above, but this LiveJournal thread does a pretty good job at documenting everything. Also this archived post has a good summary and link roundup of the situation. Finally this study is really interesting and goes into the finer details of what I'm describing above.

So even if you argue that Pillowfort has a right to put whatever they want in their terms of service (despite the fact that they specifically invited Tumblr users fleeing the NSFW ban to their website, got $5 per account, and then completely changed the terms of service on said Tumblr users), Pillowfort still banned a user preemptively for something that was not yet against the rules and failed to mention any of this in their policy statement (or to the individual they were banning). And all of this was done despite their alleged commitment to transparency. IIRC, the substantial pushback they got for this choice eventually led them to share more details on the "incident" they had briefly mentioned in their policy statement... but they didn't add any new information other than what had already been found out from others. Plus, they doubled down on the wording in their policy statement (despite how easily exploitable it would be). And, while they did refund $5 to anyone who was upset by this decision, many people, myself included, did not have the energy to go through the hassle of that (especially because, while understandably so, Pillowfort implemented a time frame for how long they would be providing refunds for this reason). So I'm certain that many users let Pillowfort keep their money and that Pillowfort probably kept quite a pretty penny earned via their false promise.

Whatever the case, many of us who do not stand for anti behavior left Pillowfort, leaving behind a large amount of people who were antis themselves and/or generally supported Pillowfort's decision. Thus, I imagine Pillowfort became and remains an unsafe place for fandommers, and I do not recommend it to anyone as a substitute for Tumblr.

#kb post #kb opinion #text #reply #that gay jedi #not SW related

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assorted-queer-thoughts · 3 years ago

Text

My Thoughts On: Lightyear

Ok, I've been hearing a lot of things recently about this movie, and even from my own parents, who aren't sure if they want to let my little siblings go see it. It was even banned in 14 countries, but why?

There's a lesbian.

That's right, there's a canonically lesbian character in a stable, loving, long-term relationship in a Disney movie. Surprised? Maybe you weren't, but I sure was. That is, of course, why my conservative parents aren't sure if they want to take my younger siblings to go see it. They very strongly disagree with queer representation in general, and they think that "Disney is trying to expose as many young kids as possible to LGBTQ+ lifestyles, and they're really pushing that agenda". Additionally, they're quite displeased that Tim Allen is not returning to voice the character of Buzz Lightyear, saying that "Disney has kicked him to the curb for his conservative political views".

Now, if you've done any reading on this subject, you'd know everything that I've just written is wrong. Recently, there's been a large portion of Disney staff speaking out against the company that claims to be queer-friendly, but still censors most of their content, and has also recently taken a lackluster stance over Florida's "don't say gay" bill. Pixar creatives have said that they've seen many beautifully diverse stories sent to Disney review boards and come back almost entirely stripped of the representation. One of these things was a lesbian kiss in Lightyear, which was removed for unknown reasons. After this speaking-out by queer employees, the kiss scene was actually added back into the movie, showing not only that the employees voices have been heard and are making a difference, but also validates their claims of censorship on Pixar films. This scene's return has sparked international backlash, banning the movie in 14 countries, and earning some hate from conservative parents like my own. While Disney is making progress in their representation, the fact it became a talking-point at all is just sad. Disney tried so hard to subtly censor things like this, and the employees have finally decided to speak up about it and come against it. It makes me so happy to see our community stand up like this. Disney is not as queer-friendly as they'd like to seem, but they're making progress, and progress is the first step.

On the subject of Tim Allen, he was NOT "kicked to the curb" for his conservative views. Disney hasn't been cutting him off. In fact, he just signed on to produce a Disney+ exclusive show based off of his The Santa Clause movies he did with Disney. I don't know about you, but signing on to do a new show worth millions of dollars doesn't exactly seem like getting "cut off". The creative minds behind Lightyear have already commented on this, explaining why Allen wasn't asked to voice Buzz Lightyear. They said that in the initial stages, there was confusion between Buzz Lightyear the toy, and Buzz Lightyear the Space Ranger, so they decided to make the two characters as separate and distinguishable as possible. While Tim Allen perfectly captured Buzz Lightyear the toy as a goofy, fun guy who serves as a sort of comic relief, they wanted Lightyear, the action movie that inspired the toy, to have a more serious tone, so as to not undercut the drama. To do this, they asked Chris Evans to voice Buzz Lightyear the Space Ranger, and his voice is perfect for the role they wrote. Tim Allen himself has not commented on this yet, but there's enough information here to make it obvious this choice was creative and not political.

Ultimately, there's an underlying factor of hate and bigotry here. When conservative parents condemn Disney/Pixar for trying to "normalize LGBTQ+ lifestyles", they do two things. One, they marginalize queer people as a "lifestyle", like being vegan or having a regular exercise regiment. Being queer is not a choice, is a part of who we are, and how we were made. It's not a lifestyle, it's a fact of life. We are here, and we won't go out of fashion like some people want us to. Two, they confuse "normalize" with "accept". Maybe this is just me, but there's a huge leap from seeing something all the time, and accepting that thing and being okay with it. We see crime all the time, it's a normal thing to hear about, but we don't accept it as alright in our society. If these people aren't going to "accept" us, that's on them. However, the first step to providing more safe spaces for queer individuals is making it a common thing to see queer people. Decades ago, the same thing had to be done with African-Americans as segregation was ending. Lots of conservatives (and conservatives who claimed to be "Christians" despite their clear contradiction of Christian values) acted out socially and physically against African-Americans and their integration into society. Everyone had to adjust to seeing them out and about in places that were previously reserved for white people. Even though not everyone accepted them (and some still don't today), they normalized the African-American in everyday life. I don't think there's many outspoken Christians (or "Christians") who would say that racism is okay, but they did back then. The first step to correcting bigoted beliefs was normalizing the people being hated. Once you can see the person as a human being, and not just an object of your hate, it changes your view. It changed mine. It's changed the view of countless Christians who fought against racism, and now fight against homophobia and transphobia. Love is beautiful, and as Christians we are called to love. Where do people get off spreading hate? Step one to revising that view is normalizing.

I hope I didn't come off too preachy. This subject came up very suddenly, and I felt I should say something. Sending prayers and best wishes to everyone out there, that these issues will be resolved in a loving manner, and that in the end love will win! Stay safe, stay hydrated, and God bless!

~Alex

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pumpkinpaix · 4 years ago

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mdzs fandom, diaspora, and cultural exchange

Hey everyone. This post contains a statement that’s been posted to my twitter, but was a collaborative effort between several diaspora fans over the last few weeks. Some of the specifics are part of a twitter-localized discourse, but the general sentiments and issues raised are applicable across the board, including here on tumblr.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen a few of my posts about this fandom, cultural exchange, and diasporic identity. For example, here, here, and here. This statement more directly criticizes some of the general issues I and others have raised in the past, and also hopefully provides a little more insight into where those issues come from. I would be happy if people took the time to read and reblog this, as the thought that went into it is not trivial, and neither is the subject matter. Thank you.

Introduction

Hello. I'm a member of a Chinese diaspora discord server - I volunteered to try and compile a thread of some thoughts regarding our place and roles in the fandom expressed in some of our recent discussions. This was primarily drafted by me and reviewed/edited by others with the hopes that we can share a cohesive statement on our honest feelings instead of repeatedly sharing multiple, fragmented versions of similar threads in isolation.

This was compiled by one group of diaspora and cannot be taken to represent diaspora as a whole, but we hope that our input can be considered with compassion and understanding of such.

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

Background

MDZS is one of the first and largest franchises of cmedia that has become popular and easily accessible outside of China. Moreover, it’s a piece of queer Chinese media that is easily accessible to those of us overseas. For many non-Chinese fans, this is the first piece of cmedia they have connected with, and it’s serving as their introduction to a culture previously opaque to them. What perhaps is less obvious is that for many Chinese diaspora fans, this is also the first piece of cmedia THEY have connected with, found community with, seen themselves in.

Many, many of us have a fraught relationship with our heritage, our language—we often suffer from a sense of alienation, both from our families and from our surrounding peers. For our families, our command of the language and culture is often considered superficial, clunky, childish. Often, connecting with our culture is framed as a mandatory academic duty, and such an approach often fosters resentment towards our own heritage. For our non-Chinese peers, our culture is seen as exotic and strange and other, something shiny and interesting to observe, while we, trapped in the middle, find ourselves uprooted and adrift.

MDZS holds an incredibly important place in many diaspora’s hearts. Speaking for myself, this is literally the first time in my life I have felt motivated and excited about my own native tongue. It's the first time I have felt genuine hope that I might one day be able to speak and read it without fear and self-doubt. It is also the first time that so many people have expressed interest in learning from me, in hearing my thoughts and opinions about my culture.

This past year and a half in fandom has been an incredible experience. I know that I am not alone in this. So many diaspora I have spoken to just in the last week have expressed similar sentiments about the place MDZS holds in their lives. It is a precious thing to us, both because we love the story itself, and because it represents a lifeline to a heritage that’s never felt fully ours to grasp.

It’s wonderful to feel like we are able to welcome our friends into our home and show them all these things that have been so formative to our identities, and to be received with such enthusiasm and interest. Introducing this to non-Chinese friends and fans has also been an opportunity to bridge gaps and be humanized in a way that has been especially important in a year where yellow peril fear mongering has been at an all-time high.

History

However, MDZS’ rise in popularity among non-Chinese audiences has also come with certain difficulties. It is natural to want to take a story you love and make it your own: that’s what transformative fandom is all about. It is also natural that misunderstandings and unintentional missteps might happen when you aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of the culture and political history of the story in question. This is understandable and forgivable—perfection is impossible, even for ourselves.

We hope for consideration and respect when we give our knowledge freely and when we raise the issue of our own discomfort with certain statements or actions regarding our culture. Please remember that what is an isolated incident to you might be a pattern of growing microaggressions to us. In non-Asian spaces, Asian diaspora are often lumped together under one umbrella. In the west, a lot of Chinese diaspora attach themselves to Korean and Japanese media in order to feel some semblance of connection to a media which approximates our cultures because there are cultural similarities. This is the first time we've collectively found community around something that is actually ours, so the specificities matter.

There is a bitterness about being Asian diaspora and a misery in having to put up a united front about racial issues. Enmity towards one group becomes a danger to all of us, all while our own conflicted histories with one another continue to pass trauma down through the generations. Many of us don’t even watch anime in front of our grandparents because of that lingering cultural antipathy. When the distinctions between our cultures are muddled, it feels once again like that very fraught history is flattened and forgotten.

Without the lived experience of it, it’s hard to understand how pervasive the contradictory web of anti-Asian and, more specifically, anti-Chinese racial aggressions are and how insidious its effects are. The conflation of China the political entity (as perceived and presented by the US and Europe) with its people, culture, and diaspora results in an exhausting litany of criticism levied like a bludgeon, often by people who don’t understand the complicated nature of a situation against those of us who do.

There is often a frankly stunning lack of self-awareness re: cultural biases and blind spots when it comes to discussions of MDZS, particularly moral ones. There are countless righteous claims and hot takes on certain aspects of the story, its author, and the characters that are so clearly rooted in a Euroamerican political and moral framework that does not reflect Chinese cultural realities and experiences. Some of these takes have become so widespread they are essentially accepted as fanon.

This is a pattern of behavior within the fandom. It is not limited to any specific group, nor does it even exclude ourselves—we are, after all, not a monolith, and we should not be placed on pedestals to have our differing opinions weaponized against one another in fandom squabbles. We are not flawless in our own understandings and approaches, and we would appreciate it if others would remember this before using any of us as ultimate authorities to settle a personal score.

It is difficult not to be disheartened when enthusiastic interest crosses the line into entitled demand and when transformative work crosses into erasure, especially when the reactions to our raised concerns have so frequently been dismissive and hostile. The overwhelming cultural and emotional labor we bring to the table is often taken advantage of and then criticized in bad faith. We are bombarded with racist aggressions, micro and macro, and then met with ridicule and annoyance when we push back. Worse, we sometimes face accusations of hostility that force us to apologize, back down, and let the matter go.

When we bring up our issues, it usually seems to come with the expectation that there are other issues that should be addressed before we can address ours. It feels like it’s never really the time to talk about Asian issues.

On the internet and in fandom spaces, Western-coded media, politics and perspectives are assumed to be general knowledge and experience that everyone knows and has. It feels like a double standard that we are expected to know the ins and outs of western politics and to engage on these terms, but most non-Chinese have not even the slightest grasp of the sort of politics that are at play within our communities. We end up feeling used for our specialized knowledge and cultural background and then dismissed when our opinions and problems are inconvenient.

As the culture represented in MDZS is not a culture that most non-Chinese fans are familiar with, we’d like to remind you that you do not get to decide which parts of it are or are not important. While sharing this space with Chinese diaspora who have a close connection to the work and the painful history that goes along with being diaspora, we ask that you be mindful of listening to our concerns.

Cultural erasure is tied to a lot of intense historical and generational trauma for us that maybe isn't immediately evident: the horrors of the Pacific theatre, the far-reaching consequences of colonization, racial tensions both among ourselves and with non-Chinese etc. These are not minor or simple things, and when we talk about our issues within fandom, this is often what underlies them. This is one of the first and only places many of us have been able to find community to discuss our unique issues without feeling as if we’re speaking out of turn.

With the HK protests, COVID, the anti-Chinese platforms of the US election etc., anti-Chinese sentiment has been at the forefront of the global news cycle for some time now, and it is with complete sincerity that we emphasize once again how important MDZS fandom has been as a haven for humanizing and valuing Chinese people through cultural exchange.

Experiencing racial aggression within that space stings, not just because it’s a space we love, but because it feels like we’ve been swimming in rapidly rising racial aggression for over a year at this point.

Feelings

This is a difficult topic to broach at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Many of us have a wariness of rocking the boat instilled in us from our upbringings, and it is not uncommon for us to feel like we should be grateful that people want to engage with something of ours at all. When we do decide to speak up, we’ve learned that there is a not insignificant chance that we’ll be turned on and trampled over because what we’ve said is inconvenient or uncomfortable. When it is already so difficult to speak up, we end up second-guessing and gaslighting ourselves into wondering whether there really was a problem at all.

We’d like to be able to share what we know about our culture and have our knowledge and experience be taken seriously and treated with courtesy. This is a beautiful, rich world built with the history of our ancestors, one that we too are trying to connect with. When we find it in ourselves to speak up about it, we would appreciate being met with consideration instead of hostility.

We don't have the luxury of stepping away from our culture when we get tired of it. We don't get to put it down and walk away when it’s difficult. But if you're not Chinese or Chinese diaspora, you get to put this book down—we'd like to kindly request that you put it down gently because of how much it matters to all of us in this fandom, regardless of heritage.

What we are asking for is reflection and thoughtfulness as we continue to engage with this work and with one another, especially with regards to how Chinese issues are positioned. When we raise issues of our own discomfort, please take a moment to reflect before reacting defensively or trying to shut us down for spoiling the fun—don’t deprioritize our concerns, especially in a fandom for a piece of Chinese media. We promise most of us are not trying to start shit for the sake of a fight. Most of the time, all we want is acknowledgement and a genuine attempt at understanding.

Our hope with this statement is to encourage more openness and understanding between diaspora and non-Chinese fans while we navigate this place that we’re sharing. Please remember that for many of us, MDZS is far more intense than a typical fandom experience. Remember that the knowledge we have and research we do is freely and happily given, and that it costs us both materially and emotionally. Please don’t take that for granted. Remember too that sometimes the reason for our discomfort may not be immediately evident to you: what seems culturally neutral and harmless might touch upon specific loaded issues for us. We ask for patience, and we ask for sincerity as we try to communicate with one another.

We are writing this because there’s a collective sense of imposed silence—that every time the newest round of discourse crops up, we often feel as if we’re walking away having created no meaningful change, and nursing new wounds that we’ll never get to address. But without speaking up about it, this is a cycle that will keep repeating.

This is not meant to shame or guilt the fandom into throwing themselves at our feet, either to thank us or beg for forgiveness—far from that. We’re just your friends and your fellow fans. We are happy to have you here, and we’re happy to create and share and play together. We just ask to be respected and heard.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Several of us will be stepping back from twitter for a while. We’ll see you when we get back. ��️

* A final addendum: here are two articles with solid practical advice on writing stories regarding a culture other than your own.

Cultural Appropriation for the Worried Writer: Some Practical Advice

Cultural Appropriation: Some More Practical Advice

The thread on twitter is linked in the source of this post. Thanks everyone.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #the untamed #the untamed meta #cql #asian diaspora #chinese diaspora #race #racism #mine #mymeta #once again my tag failing me because this is a collaborative work #but! for the sake of organization #statistically average #cultural appropriation #cultural erasure #what else do i tag this im so wired

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ogata77 · 2 years ago

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The story behind the “Futokoro-gatana”

After reading the last chapter of Saezuru I became obsessed with understanding why Yoneda chose such a traditional term to define Yashiro. I apologize if there is any error in the text, it is all the fault of Google Translate.

1. A bit of history

Let's go first to the genesis of this concept. As you know, the kimono is a Japanese attire that from the Heian Period (794-1192) to the Meiji Era (1868-1912) was "the" clothing used par excellence in its population, later due to Western intervention new styles would be adopted . People who used it daily began to store things inside the futokoro (懐) which is an inner pocket hidden between the front layers of the garment. As a result of this word, a series of concepts were created according to what was hidden in that pocket, hence futokoro-gatana was born; where futokoro is pocket and gatana is dagger, knife, small sword. This dagger was used by both gentlemen and ladies for self-protection.

2. The symbolism behind the concept

To understand the symbolism of this term, let us imagine a feudal lord leading a normal life in Japanese antiquity. This subject travels, does business, entertains himself in bars and on some occasions surely also protects his life. During all these experiences there are silent witnesses that accompany him at every moment: the things he hides in his futokoro. Now suppose that what he keeps in that pocket is a female cat, this would become his companion in adventures, his accomplice, patiently waiting for his moment to act, always being very close to his heart. From the above, I believe lies the meaning of "confidant" or "trustworthy man" that has been given to the term.

3. Yashiro is a futokoro-gatana?

Having clear the previous points now let's review some facts of the Yakuza plot of the first arc. When the confrontation between the Doushinkai and Sanwakai groups over the murder of Nakamoto (head of the Gouda sub-group) supposedly at the hands of Yashiro for the drug case, the most logical solution according to yakuza canons would have been to hand over the person who generated the problem as payment for the insult. Yashiro was very aware of this, that's why when he was on his way to meet Inami at the hotel when he received the call from Misumi, he told him to let him go, knowing that if he did not solve the problem, the most affected would be Misumi as he finds himself finalizing his succession for president.

At that time Misumi had no proof against Hirata, although he suspected and was almost sure that everything that happened was his doing, he had no way to prove it. Hirata was unhappy but he was a Yakuza in every sense of the word because he was only exposed because Yashiro got him to confess, if this hadn't happened Hirata would never have been blamed.

Now going back to Misumi's decision, the logical thing would have been that since she had no evidence against Hirata, she would have solved the problem by turning Yashiro into a “zetsuen-jo (絶縁状)” which literally means isolated. In the Yakuza it is used in these cases to expel the person from the group so that he assumes responsibility in the dispute, even to the point of being killed by the other groups in conflict.

Misumi on the contrary decided to take the long and risky path by sending Amou to request through Tsunakawa a mediation with the head of the Sanwakai group, why does Misumi take this route that has no guarantees instead of settling everything quickly and safe? This same question Tsunakawa must have asked himself despite the fact that to this day he enjoys the debt that Amou owes him.

4. Application of the futokoro-gatana concept

Now let's go back to the last chapter of Saezuru and evaluate again why Muraji tells Yashiro that he is Misumi's futokoro-gatana. You already know that the Sakuraika is a traditional fifth generation leadership group, therefore everything in them is synonymous with the old school, so it is not uncommon to use these types of terms for this scene. When Misumi decides to go to all that trouble for Yashiro, Tsunakawa understands how precious Yashiro is to Misumi and therefore takes every precaution to protect him as we could tell. We as readers know the feelings that Misumi harbors for Yashiro, but the characters of Yakuza groups further away have no notion of this relationship and thanks to these isolated events they learn certain things.

The funny thing about all this is that Yashiro, despite everything I've explained, still thinks he's nothing to Misumi and laughs when Muraji calls him a “confidant”. We know that due to his self-flagellation he thinks that he is not lovable or wanted at any level: neither Nanahara as his subordinate, nor Misumi as his boss, nor Ryuzaki as his peer, nor Kageyama or Doumeki in a romantic way.

My final conclusion is that Yoneda chose this particular term to explain in a very poetic way what Yashiro means to Misumi and the repercussions it would have on the Yakuza plot if something happened to her. So the answer to the question is Yashiro a futokoro-gatana? would be, yes.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru fandom #analysis

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rikalovesrice · 2 years ago

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Rika’s Wittle Review of Pokemon Violet (Spoilers ahead!!!)

I’ll go ahead and say that, aside from the atrocious framerate and occasional glitchiness, I had a blast playing this. It’s beautiful to see how far Pokemon has come in terms of immersion. With such a rich variety of Pokemon wherever you go in this vast landscape with different habitats, all interacting and exhibiting behaviors specific to their species (and even their natures!), I genuinely feel like I’m in the world of Pokemon. I love it so much >w< I quite enjoyed the three stories and the CHARACTERS. Ahhh the characteeersss I love them all so much lol

Now for the more spoilery bits in good old bulletins. These aren’t in any particular order but in general I’ll start with stuff I loved and things that were kinda eh. Let’s goooo~

There’s now a canon Pokemon character named Rika aaaayyyeee XD Feels a little weird, ngl

Unpopular opinion, but I actually love Meowscarada lol At first I was like, “Uuuggghhh of course they made it stand up” but the more I understodd what it was, the more it grew on me. She’s a jester, magician, dramatic sort of character and she’s a kitty........all things I adore lol

Arven is a precious bean who must be protected at all costs. Seriously, I adore him so much and his story was so saaaad T_T My poor baby...And then it turns out his dad not only wasn’t around but he freaking DIED.

AND YOOOOO SPEAKING OF WHICH I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Like bro, Pokemon actually went there. At first I thought Turo was stuck in the future or something and that’s why his transmission got all wonky. BUT NAH. HOMEBOY STRAIGHT UP GOT DEAD AND UPLOADED HIS CONSCIOUSNESS INTO A ROBOT LIKE???? Every time I saw his face on the screen I was like, “Why is his face so...stiff?” Oh. That’s why. AND MY POOR BOY ARVEN.

Also that final battle was legitimately a little terrifying. I loved it haha

Miraidon is electric Toothless and I loved him and we’re best friends forever uwu

I know some people may be bummed that Team Star didn’t turn out to be a bunch of hardcore criminals. But the fact that Pokemon decided to tackle a subject as serious as bullying in school? Big, big claps. And in my opinion, it was really well done and heartfelt. By the end of game I adored Team Star and little Penny. Seeing them go back to school and bumble their way back into society, awkward, shy, but being true to themselves, was so precious. (Giacomo is literally like, “Let’s yell at everyone so they know we’re friendly” and for that I cherish him)

I’d join Team Star in a heartbeat, facts.

Penny being Cassiopeia wasn’t immediately obvious to me but as soon as she mentioned her hacking skills I went, “....Waaait a second...” Might I add that when “Clive” first showed up I physically buried my face into my hands lol

Okay and then when Clavell “revealed himself” as Cassiopeia I went, “Huh?? That...How??? Makes no sense but ok...????” And then was like “just kidding” and I just...wtf dude XD

Can I just say I love Clavell’s character? He genuinely cares about every student with all his heart and shows compassion towards Team Star. He turned out to be such a good-hearted man who wants to do right by his students and I love that.

While I do love Nemona (what’s the girl version of a himbo? lol), I will say her character felt the least fleshed out, in my opinion. But I guess it could be all that energy conceals more subtle character traits? I liked how she mentioned that people mistunderstand her because she comes from a wealthly family and assume she was born with her battle prowess. When if fact, she’s just super passionate about battling and so became really good at it. Wish the game had leaned a little more into that but Nemona still cool lol Paradox Pokemon are gonna destroy the world and she’s just like, “ Can battle? :D”

While I loved Path of Legends and Starfall Street, Victory Road was the most....meh storyline for me lol There wasn’t much to it, really. And the Elite Four and Geeta were so easy. After the nightmare that was the BDSP League I was fearing for the worst but they were about as easy as the Kalos League. But that’s overall neither here nor there for me.

Picnics were fun but I wish I could get closer to my Pokemon like I could in SWSD and pet them like the Switch has a touchscreen whyyyy T__T Or just use the same format as the washing bit but with a hand :(

Welp, following Pokemon didn’t improve all that much rip Same issue of some Pokemon just being too dang slow. Or too dang fast to the point that they look unnatural cause they keep slowing down and speeding up so rapidly. I always have to ride Neon (my Miraidon) when I let Jellica (my Meowscarada) out cause otherwise she’s just constantly startin’ and stoppin’. Still a lovely feature but I just wish it was better. The Pokemons’ mannerisms are still adorable tho <3

This game removed a lot of little shortcuts (like using items on Pokemon, certain buttons when using the Boxes, switching Pokemon around, etc.) and I gotta say, not a fan lol

Customizatiooooon. I get it, we’re students. BUT WHY DOES PENNY GET TO WEAR HER LITTLE CUTE FIT HMMMMM?????

Socks, gloves, and shoes are fine, I suppose...I just wish there were more ways to customize the uniform at least. It would be cool if the school sold jackets, sweaters, t-shirts, skirts, scarves, ties, etc. Freaking Atticus’ little compadre bought NINJA OUTFITS from the school store. Where’s my ninja outfit huh????

Also Clavell said we shouldn’t let our Pokemon out inside the school and then there are Pokemon in the school at all times for the entire game lol Plus Arven, Nemona, and Penny get to have their Pokemon out in their rooms so why can’t I??? D:<

Side note MC, Arven, Nemona, and Penny gotta be my favorite Pokemon friend group besides the SWSD squad ^^ (That shot of all of us climbing aboard Miraidon before plummeting into the Crater was so precious holy Arceus my fwieeeends)

Ehhhh what else?

Sad to say that a lot of the Pokemon designs this gen weren’t really my taste. It was hard for me to put together a Paldean team cause I just...didn’t like how so many of them looked lol

Grusha has no right being that pretty. Also poor thing ;__; Would’ve loved to know more about him.

Larry. That is all.

All the Gym Leaders were so much fun. Wish we could battle them over and over like in BDSP.

History Class was my fav because looore.

I actually riverted back to a student mentality for a bit playing lol I was like, “M’kay, I’ll take my level 2 classes, explore, then move on to my level 3 classes before dark. Lemme fight this Gym and then I’ll take my midterms. What’s that, I gotta go the Great Crater and finish the story? I should finish my finals and graduate first.” Lol

The music in Area Zero o__o

Ummmmmm

I mean yeah, the framerate is awful but we all know this probably lol The game’s performance ain’t it, sis. Like I said, this would probably be my favorite Pokemon game to date if it ran the way it should.

Looking forward to patches and whatever new updates and shenanigans will ensue in the DLC hehehe

Those are the biggest things, me guesses. Loving the game and will definitely keep playing it~

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon arven #pokemon penny #pokemon nemona #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #pokemon spoilers #pokemon review #rika reviews #i'm hungry and sleepy

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demonslayedher · 3 years ago

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How Does Eating Humans Work?

Hello, Gotou here. We’re shamelessly borrowing from the format of a KnY Fanbook #2 comic to launch an investigation into demon metabolism and development by crossing the Sanzu River again to interview demons in the underworld. While we’ll be using canon materials as a base, the analysis and conjecture herein is personal, so we ask for your understanding. Also, please note that consuming any food in the underworld will make you unable to return, and we cannot promise your safety even though the interview subjects are dead, so please come along at your own risk.

Some of the questions we’d like to answer are, why do demons need to eat humans? How much do they need to eat to survive? Are there factors that influence how eating humans makes them stronger? If they don’t want to kill humans, what are their other options? We’ve rounded up some special guests below the cut (hidden for length and grossness), everyone from the lowly Temple Demon to the lovely Tamayo, to see what their actions in canon might tell us.

First, a review of what canon tells us, mostly as summarized in Fanbook #2: 1. With one exception named Yushirou, all demons were created by Kibutsuji Muzan, for his own purposes. They all have some amount of his blood, and can be divided into four classes depending on how powerful they are. From top to bottom, the Upper Moons, the Lower Moons, demons with special abilities, and other demons without any special characteristics. 2. Demons may be stronger depending on how much of Kibutsuji Muzan’s blood they have. Most beings’ cannot handle a large amount of his blood, and it will rupture the cells and that being will die, but there are demons who adapt well to it. 3. Typically, sunlight is the only way to kill a demon, by either bathing them in sunlight or cutting of their head with a Nichirin blade. However, there are powerful demons for whom chopping off their head does not work, and if it’s strong enough, demons can also be killed by wisteria poison.

4. Demons eat human blood and flesh. The more they eat, the stronger they become, and the faster their regenerative abilities become. Some humans have “Marechi,” a rare blood type, which is especially nutritious to demons, and eating one Marechi is the equivalent of eating several humans.

That’s an interesting thing we’d like to come back to, especially since we’re looking for quantitative information about how demons gain nutrition (though I have my doubts we'll get enough for statistical analysis). As an interesting note, Fanbook #2 also tells us that if demons try to consume the same edibles humans do, they’ll vomit it back up.

I’m told that Miss Tamayo drinks tea, though. That’ll be an interesting question for later. In my notes, it seems she’s also explained to Tanjirou back in Chapter 15 that demons will normally go berserk if they go a long time without consuming any blood or flesh. Berserk is one thing, but I wonder if they can starve to death? We’ll see if these canon clues will lead us to anything. We’ll begin now in an interview format. Hopefully this will go smoothly, but I’ve got a feeling it won’t. First up, we’ve the Temple Demon.

Temple: Who were you calling ‘lowly’ just now? Up there, above the cut?

Gotou: That was in a literal sense, not having Blood Techniques means you’re in the bottom common tier of demons.

Temple: Argh. Fine. What do you want to know?

Gotou: In Chapter 2, you were spotted with three human victims. However, it seems you left their bodies mostly intact and only ate small parts instead of consuming one full human at a time. Could you comment on this?

Temple: I’d have gotten to more later if that whelp with the strong legs didn’t interrupt me! Who’s got time to eat entire humans anyway? I went for the easy stuff first.

Gotou: I see. It appears you might had focused on key organs, like the heart and the liver. Would you say these are especially nutritionally dense?

Temple: I guess. If I’m going to eat humans, I’m going to start with what’s worth bothering to digest. Blood’s easier on the stomach, so that’s what I was busy with on the lady there.

Gotou: Then it takes effort to digest? Hmm. Let’s come back to this later. How many humans would you say you consumed, including these three?

Temple: Not a lot… I tried to get a variety so I could get stronger faster, but…

Gotou: I’ll put down a guess as ten or less. Let’s move on to someone who has a sharper memory for numbers. One of our longer-lived guests at Mt. Fujikasane for 47 years, the Hand Demon. While most of the demons on the mountain had only eaten two or three humans, you’ve eaten a whole 50 of the children who headed into the Final Selection, didn’t you?

Hand: Yes, that’s right. It was hard at first since I wasn’t very strong, and the demons usually all went crazy there eating each other, just like that one brat who got away in Chapter 7 said. If you could manage to kill any of the kids, you had the other demons to fight off to even get a piece to yourself. That was enough to get me by, and stronger, little by little. Your body learns to make your meals last, and make the most of what you can get. I usually only had a bite of one child a year, can you imagine how horrible that was? Most demons who survive usually figure out some way to develop and survive better, and once my cells found something that worked for me, I kept doing it. I got really good at snatching away prey from other demons, and soon enough I was a bigger threat than any of them. None of them could, you might say, lay a hand on me.

Gotou: That’s an interesting point about self-development. A demon named Nezuko was spent two years doing that in her sleep.

Hand: She must have had a big meal before that!

Gotou: Well, anyway. It seems that in near starving conditions, your metabolism made the most of what you had, leading to the most efficient use of whatever food was available to you.

Hand: That’s right, I got really good at it. Wasn’t always pretty, but I made it work. I got to a point where I could go two years without eating and still keep my wits about me while the other demons were going mad. But I chose to eat. I liked to keep my appetite for specific children.

Gotou: That smile is not reassuring. Some humans taste better than others, I guess?

Hand: That’s for sure. This one kid tasted awful, like rust and man sweat! I still don’t have that disgusting taste out of my mouth! But he was one of my more satisfying meals, so I ate more of him.

Gotou: Then why would you… nevermind, I don’t like that smile, no further questions. While I had hoped to keep these interviews focused on quantities of humans consumed, it does seem personal taste is worth asking about. I had tried to invite a Swamp Demon from Chapter 11, but it kept arguing with itself and it felt like I’d be wasting my time. The one definite thing I learned was that this demon is picky, with a distinct preference for 16-year-old girls. Based on the number of trinkets he kept, it seems he had consumed at least seventeen of them, including several in one town. Sheesh, that’s sort of a rough mission to send a first-timer on. I’ve got a more cooperative guest here to discuss her tastes, a Snake Demon who, according to Chapter 188, has a special taste for baby flesh.

Snake: Thank you for having me here. It’s good to be appreciated again.

Gotou: Did you only eat babies?

Snake: Goodness, no. Babies are delicious, but they aren’t very nutritious. And their skulls certainly aren’t that big, the ones I lounged around with were from the people whom I killed and stole from. But you know the nice thing about baby skulls? They’re still soft. They take a long time to digest, but I can swallow them whole.

Gotou: Like… like a snake, then. Sorry, I’m a little ill hearing that. Let’s back up, were all those skulls the remains of adults you ate, then?

Snake: Meh, I ate some of them of better-looking ones, but most of them I only killed. I could usually kill a lot more at a time than I could bother eating, my killing record was fifty women all at once.

Gotou: And you didn’t find that wasteful?

Snake: Wasteful? Not at all. I wasn’t exactly in dire straits, I lived a more luxurious life than most demons do. That meant I could afford to wait for a truly delicious meal, like how you humans might leave something in a slow-cooker to enjoy the perfect combination of doneness and tenderness, plated in the most appetizing of ways.

Gotou: I guess demons and humans are similar in that regard.

Snake: I’m so glad you can relate! Then you understand the frustration of a meal you’ve be preparing for years opening up the slow-cooker and running away right when they were just about done.

Gotou: I have never had that experience.

Snake: I’ll get you, my pretty. And your little snake, too.

Gotou: I think we might have gotten a little off-topic here. It does seem digesting humans comes with some difficulty. I’d like to invite the Drum Demon in next. Your name is Kyougai, I hear?

Kyougai: !!

Gotou: Kyogai, right?

Kyougai: You’ve heard of me! You know my name!

Gotou: I happened to, yes.

Kyougai: What have you heard???

Gotou: That you were kicked out of the Lower Moons for being unable to consume enough humans.

Kyougai: Oh. ……..yeah, that’s me.

Gotou: I thought demons go berserk if they go a long time without consuming humans. Wouldn’t that make an inability to consume them problematic?

Kyougai: It wasn’t that I couldn’t eat them! Like I said in Chapter 24, I had to in order to sustain myself, just like any other demon. But, at some point, I couldn’t eat as much as I used to. That happens to humans too, doesn’t it? When you just can’t stomach anymore?

Gotou: You mean like when you’ve overeaten? In a human’s case that feeling may go away within a few hours.

Kyougai: Sort of like that, but you know, humans reach a time when nothing is appetizing or the thought of eating makes them feel sick, right? Isn’t that the human condition?

Gotou: …uh… maybe if they have a medical condition? Or anxiety? Do demons get anxiety? Or eating disorders?

Kyougai: I… I don’t know. I just wasn’t good enough.

Gotou: I think it’s plenty good if you stopped eating humans. Though to have developed Blood Techniques and been a Lower Moon in the first place, you must had eaten a great number of them.

Kyougai: You think I’m great?

Gotou: What?

Kyougai: No, sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. It’s true, I used to be able to eat as many as the other Lower Moons always consumed. Our stomachs were stronger, you might say. Demons got strong by eating humans, and then the more you did that the better you usually got at it, so the strong ones would eat more and more and keep getting stronger and stronger. At least, that’s how it usually worked. I’ve seen other demons below me reached that point too, where they feel the drive to eat, but then they have trouble digesting it for a long time, so they don’t wind up eating that many people.

Gotou: Then it would make sense to eat the most nutritionally dense parts first.

Kyougai: Or a Marechi.

Gotou: Yes, or a Marechi.

Kyougai: It was a great idea, wasn’t it?

Gotou: I cannot condone any consumption of humans as a good idea.

Kyougai: I knew it. I’m nothing. Go ahead, stomp all over everything I ever tried to accomplish.

Gotou: I think I’m going to move on to my next interviewee now. It looks like we’ve got… oh, would you look at this? Lower Moon One. Enmu, I believe.

Enmu: You can believe whatever you want. I’m happy to help.

Gotou: I don’t need any help, thanks. I’m curious, since you were one of the stronger demons out there, it seems you had a stronger capacity for consuming humans.

Enmu: I did, I was always careful and paced myself so the Demon Slayers wouldn’t notice me. I took my time. I liked to enjoy e-e-e-a-c-h one.

Gotou: Then you had tastes too? Like babies, or 16-year-old girls?

Enmu: I could season any human to my liking. They’re all very easy to prepare.

Gotou: I’m still trying to get quantitative data. Can you tell me at least a rough estimate of how many humans you consumed?

Enmu: I told this more precisely to that boy with the earrings back in Chapter 59, and I can tell you this too. At my best, I could had eaten over two-hundred people at once if I took my time.

Gotou: OH MY GAW----sorry, I dropped my pen. Two hundred, at once?

Enmu: Yes. If I had just. Had. A little. More. Time.

Gotou: Clearly there is a huge difference between what common demons are capable of and what the Twelve Moons are capable of.

Daki: Psh, those were all any random common people. That’s nothing to brag about.

Gotou: Excuse me, and you are?

Daki: Daki, Upper Moon Six. You want something really impressive, you talk to the Upper Moons.

Gotou: I’m sorry, I don’t see you on my list.

Daki: What! Your list is stupid. Look me in the eyes, I’m Upper Moon Six!

Gotou: Very well, then. What can you tell me about your diet, Miss Upper Moon Six?

Daki: That’s more like it. It’s true that digestion takes a while, and takes some effort. Even though we Upper Moons may have eaten hundreds of people in our lifetimes, it’s not as if we gorge ourselves. The clever ones among us save prey for later to eat when we feel ready for it.

Gotou: Food storage? How do you keep them fresh?

Daki: You leave them still alive, numbskull. Nobody wants to eat something cold, that’s gross.

Gotou: I see, so that’s why demons prefer to go after new kills instead of saving what they’ve already managed to kill. That also might explain why the demons on Mt. Fujikasane wouldn’t had eaten many humans, if they found long dead ones in edible.

Daki: You want to know the real secret to eating humans? You can eat what you find tastes good, sure. But to get stronger, you eat strong people. Like your Corp members, the ones besides chumps like you? Using all that Breath makes their muscles really lean and potent, it’s like they come offering themselves as protein bars for us.

Gotou: You make them sound like a fad diet…

Daki: The real secret is eating Pillars. Besides Marechi, they’re the strongest meals out there. Guess how many I’ve eaten?

Gotou: I don’t have the data to make an educated guess.

Daki: Then get educated! Look back at Chapter 88! I’ve eaten seven Pillars, and my brother has eaten fifteen!

Gotou: Your brother? Who is he, then, Upper Moon Five?

Daki: What? Ew. Gross. Gross! No way, ew!

Gotou: Hmm… eating Pillars, huh? Well, I can think of one Pillar who was…

Douma: Me too!

Gotou: Speak of the devil.

Douma: Actually, we Upper Moons can! And he's not Satan, that's not how this works. But I guess Muzan-sama’s curse doesn’t effect us now. Ask me anything you want!

Gotou: That Chapter 143 reference was such a rude entrance. I understand that Pillars are particularly nutritious—

Douma: Oh, please don’t misunderstand! I don’t even eat all the Pillars I’ve encountered. There was the one Flower Pillar who got away from me, but some of the boy pillars I just leave around. What’s really the key to consistent nutritional intake is women! It’s really unhealthy for a demon not to get enough women in their diet, that’s why even if you’re only looking for Marechi or Pillars, your metabolism is going to get thrown out of whack with sudden big meals. You grow a stronger metabolism with consistency, I believe!

Gotou: If I could stop you there, I had an image from Chapter 142 I preferred to focus on for this case study. I see you keep a wide collection of skulls, from victims whom I assume you ate.

Douma: Yes, they all stayed together inside me for eternity, but the room looked lonely without décor.

Gotou: It seems other demons usually go for nutritionally dense organs like hearts or livers, or easy to digest parts of the body, perhaps just blood sometimes. Eating the entire victim, bones and all, doesn’t seem to be the norm.

Douma: Bones are organs too, you know! That’s where blood is made, at its freshest. They do take more practice in learning to digest, and I had to find a way around not having to chew them, but the bone marrow is very, very good for you, so I make sure to consume it frequently. It may take more time and it causes some of my followers to panic more while they wait, though, that’s a bit of a downside. Oh, and I guess bones can make good storage for some sneaky poison. Even fingernails and hair follicles, who’d have thought?

Gotou: I don’t think hair would have much nutritional value in the first place. In all my years, I can never recall seeing a victim with their hair eaten.

Douma: Tsk, tsk! Clearly you haven’t done much metabolism research in advance. I was really impressed by how well Shinobu-chan understood how my digestion would work. Eating hair can do amazing things! Isn’t that right, Genya-kun?

Genya: ?????????

Gotou: Genya-kun!?

Genya: What am I doing here?

Gotou: I don’t think you’re supposed to be here. Isn’t there, you know, another side? The other direction?

Genya: What are you doing here? Did you die?

Gotou: I’m here doing research on demon metabolism and how they get stronger by consuming flesh.

Douma: What can you tell us about what up with having your friend feed you hair you found on the floor in Chapters 170-171, Genya-kun?

Genya: I’m not a demon!! Why the hell are you asking me?

Douma: ‘Hell’! Haha, good one!

Gotou: How do you even know about that? You were dead almost a full volume before that. And Genya’s different, he’s not a case study in how demons consuming humans works!

Douma: Are you certain?

Gotou: I hear the term get thrown around a lot that he’s ‘half-demon’, but—

Genya: I’m not a demon!!!

Gotou: --how would that even work? That would imply that one of his parents had to be a demon, and that—

Genya: What did you say about my mother!?!

Gotou: What? Nothing—

Genya: You say that to my face! You just trying saying something about my mother to my face! My mother never actually ate any flesh, you got that? She doesn’t deserve any of this!

Gotou: Genya, calm down, what—

Douma: I see we’re learning nothing about hair at all. Maybe Kokushibou-dono would provide better commentary on that?

Genya: Mom? Mo-o-o-o-m? Are you down here somewhere?

Gotou: And there he goes… wait, did you say Kokushibou? Upper Moon One? Oh no—he—he didn’t want me bothering him, he did not agree to another interview—

Douma: He-e-e-e-e-y, Kokushibou-dono! How did that work with Genya-kun eating your hair? Hair can be nutritious, right?

Kokushibou: You would gain… nothing… from consuming human hair… it’s not… flesh… you wasted your energy digesting it…

Douma: Aww, cutting it off them would had been sad, though.

Kokushibou: Demon hair… like demon weapons… is made… from our unique cells. It’s not dead… like human locks. Because that boy ate my live cells… it affected him…

Gotou: Yes, because he had a very, very unique metabolism, analyzed separately in this post. To be perfectly clear, Genya is completely human with cells that could temporarily transform, and he never consumed human flesh.

Kokushibou: He… vexes me…

Gotou: Um… while I’ve got you here, you’re one of the longest lived demons, clocking in at over three, maybe four centuries. Do you have any estimate of how many humans you’ve consumed?

Kokushibou: ……I see in… Chapter 100… that you are 23 years old?

Gotou: That is correct.

Kokushibou: Do you bother… remembering how many meals… you’ve had in a mere 23 years?

Gotou: I’m very sorry to have bothered you.

Douma: Kokushibou-dono’s ancient compared to the rest of us! But if I tried, I could probably recall. Let’s see. One, two, three, four…

Gotou: Is that? Your finger in your brain? Oh—ohhh—that is disgusting---I really don’t need to know numbers that badly, please stop. Is there maybe just some average you can give me for the Upper Moons instead? Like how many you’d eat in a month?

Douma: I wish I could, but a certain someone was an annoying outlier and didn’t like to eat so many humans. He made me worry all the time about his health.

Gotou: Really? Who might that be?

Douma: Hello-o-o-o-o-? Akaza-dono? Yoohoo! He spends all his time with his wife now and never answers when I call, it makes me so sad. Akaza-dono did eat humans, plenty of strong ones, but any time he wasn’t under orders from Muzan he liked to spend his time training instead of eating. Fanbook #1 says he did that way more than eating!

Gotou: Training? What sort of training?

Douma: Similar things to what your Corp members did, I imagine. Doing squats, throwing punches, things like that.

Gotou: Then demon muscles had similar function to human muscles, and could be strengthened through hard work? That’s surprising.

Douma: I know, right? I’ll let you in on a secret, I don’t think it was the physically repetition that did anything. I think it was his willpower getting honed and shaping his muscles.

Douma: I had to focus when I acquired new skills too, like breaking down poisons. A lot of sad, lowly demons, like that Hand Demon fellow? They focus as hard as they can in their desperation, or focus on some strong emotion or attachment or whatever, and they grow and develop because of it. Sometimes all their weak bodies can manage is an ugly mutation, but that’s proof enough of how much focus they had.

Gotou: That sheds a lot of light on Nezuko, actually.

Douma: Shed “light” on Nezuko-chan, hahaha! Sunlight! You humans are all so witty!

Gotou: Speaking of willpower, I’ve got one more interview I need to get to down here. Of all the demons I have records of, only Nezuko went her whole time as a demon without consuming any human flesh, although she did go through moments of berserk cravings for it. It’s possible that other demons were killed before they could consume anything, but typically they will consume flesh as soon as possible, which is why its common for their family and close relations to be among the first ones killed. Tomioka-san even mentioned in Chapter 1 that these close relations are especially nutritious.

Gotou: A demon about as old as Kokushibou, if not older, is a special case of her own. She was one of the only demons we know of to have escaped Kibutsuji’s curse and acted in dependently of him, including having created a demon of her own after two hundred years of trying. Most notably to our purposes, she trained herself to subsist on small amounts of blood, after having survived on corpses and wild animals for a time, according to the extensive Taisho Secrets at the end of Volume 21.

Tamayo: I explained this in more detail to Tanjirou-san in Chapter 15, but I went on to purchase blood from poor people, and extracted it in ways that wouldn’t be harmful to them. The one demon I created, Yushirou, could subsist on even less. I gained enough self-control that I could treat injured humans without feeling tempted into a berserk state.

Gotou: I was just talking to Douma about willpower making demons capable of accomplishing new physical developments. Was that how you were able to gain this state? I heard you even enjoy a cup of tea now and then.

Tamayo: Yes, I’ve taken a liking to it. I’d offer you some if not for this, you know, being hell. It’s nothing like the hell I went through when first resisting consuming humans, though. My demon body refused to take anything but fresh human flesh at first, but in the hardest moments, I always remembered a kind demon hunter who said he believed in me and my desire to defeat Kibutsuji Muzan. I believe Nezuko may have summoned her strength to resist the call of her demon cells in a similar way; she knew she had her brother there to rely on. Once she mastered something as remarkable as resisting the need for human flesh, it gave her the freedom to prioritize other developments.

Gotou: You spent centuries researching demon cells, especially how demons may break down and metabolize poisons.

Tamayo: I had not studied the metabolism of poisons until working with Shinobu-san. The medicine we concocted for Kibutsuji was only possible thanks to her work, and I couldn’t had worked with many of those wisteria-based substances on my own. I feel I was only there to fill in the gaps of her brilliant understanding.

Gotou: You’re very humble. I would pass along my thanks and compliments to Shinobu-sama too, but I’m pretty sure she’s not down here. On that note, did Genya-kun go back home?

Tamayo: He did after a nice reunion with his mother just now, it was very sweet. Shizu-san and I get along well, after all, we both carry similar guilt.

Gotou: Wait, was his mother a demon? That means Wind-sama’s mother was too? Wait?? What??

Tamayo: The worst hell I went through, or that any demon has gone through, is to realize what you’ve eaten after the hunger-driven madness clears. Being similar to your own cells, they’re easy on a volatile new anatomy to break down and digest. That’s why many demons may have driven themselves to forget everything all over again, or to twist their personalities to justify the horror, saying that because they ate the hearts of their loved ones and because demon flesh can live forever, then they never truly killed them. The truth always remained untwisted for me, and to this day, it torments me more than anything in this underworld can try.

Gotou: …

Tamayo: You should wake up now, Gotou. You’ve been through a lot; the nightmares must be taxing on your health. Please remember to eat well.

#kny fandom theories and meta #too many characters to tag #I wrote this draft early last week and only this morning had time to edit it but it took foreeeevvvverrr on my slow computer #now off to work #eat well everybody #I'm off to work #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 years ago

Note

Can I have a drabble with Thrawn ?

I was thinking about a scene, shortly after the death of the emperor and Vader and the death star explosion. He would summon Reader to tell her they are among the last authority figures of the empire alive and although he has everything under control, it will be difficult and he could really use an hand this time.

Bonus point if they hug.

Thank you Darling (may I call you that way?)

A/N: Okay, so we’re going Original Thrawn Trilogy canon with this. Let me see what I can do. And you absolutely can, if you like.

Also, this turned into a thing because I have no sense of control.

Word Count: 1.4 K

You kept your head high as you walked through the quieted hallways of The Chimaera.

Nobody could focus on their duties and none of the officers had it in them to give orders. The shock of information had dumbfounded the entire ship. The second Death Star was destroyed. Half of the Imperial Fleet was gone. The Emperor was dead.

The rebels had done it. It was the beginning of the end.

But, The Chimaera was still there and all waited on baited breath for their Grand Admiral's orders.

You tried to focus on your steps rather than the whirlwind of emotions threatening to drown you. You had always been sure of who you were and where you stood in the galaxy. You were Commander Y/N of the ISD Chimaera, second to Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Navy. But what did that mean, if the Empire ceased to exist?

You shook your head.

No. Empire or not, you were still a Commander. The Chimaera was still your ship and so long as it kept flying, that would never change.

With new found resolve, you quickened your pace stopping just in front of Grand Admiral Thrawn's office.

You knocked on the door and a moment later, it opened with a small hiss.

Upon entering, your eyes were drawn to the holo projection in the center of the room. It did not take you long to realize the calamity of the scene before you. The Battle of Endor in all it's fiery disaster.

Thrawn stood in petrified stillness, watching the holo in intense concentration; his glowing red eyes illuminated in the dim blue light.

You stepped forward, focusing your attention on the calmness of his form rather than chaos.

"Has the fleet regrouped?" you asked.

Thrawn turned his eyes toward you, refocusing to the present moment.

"No," he said. "This was sent to me from the Accuser, requesting assistance from all Commanders."

"Should I plot a course, sir?"

He shook his head. "No. We're too far out of range to provide any timely assistance. There are others on their way.”

You nodded, understanding the logic behind the statement. Still a question buzzed in your mind, one that was plaguing everyone on the ship: what do we do next?

You kept quiet all the same, knowing if Thrawn wanted to tell you, he would do so, in his own time.

Thrawn turned off the projector, allowing white lights to fill the darkened space. He then reached behind his desk and pulled out a crystal bottle filled with amber liquid and two glasses.

"Join me, Commander?" he asked.

It wasn't and order, which itself prompted it's own question.

"Depends on what we're drinking to, sir."

"To our fallen officers," he answered, pouring a healthy dose into each glass. "And to the new Empire which will rise from the ashes."

He held out the glass, which you took with caution.

"Implying the Empire has already fallen."

Thrawn raised an eyebrow. "Do you believe it will survive?"

You opened your mouth, with a ready yes on your lips, but stopped. Taking a moment, you looked down, examining the ridges of the glass in idle thought.

"No," you said, slowly. "If it was just the Death Star or just the Executor, that would be one thing. But the loss of both and the Emperor is too much. There is no central leadership, and will all the Navy's resources poured in the second Death Star, I doubt there is enough remaining to maintain control over the rebelling systems."

You looked up to meet Thrawn's approving eye at your assessment.

"Of course," you continued. "If there were someone to take control..."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Thrawn's lip as he bowed his head.

"You flatter me, Commander," he said. "However, how many of the remaining Admirals do you believe would willingly follow my orders?”

Your instinct was to say all of them, but again, you hesitated. As your superior officer, you had learned to trust Thrawn's command implicitly, but a quick review of your history reminded you of how rare that truly was. There was a reason the Emperor had left Thrawn to deal with the fringes of the Empire rather than involve him in Core politics.

Each and every Grand Admiral would see themselves as the successor to the Emperor's legacy, not the alien with nothing but rumors to uphold his reputation.

You let out a sigh. "None, I suppose."

He inclined his head in acknowledgment, just as he raised his glass.

"The Empire is gone," he said, solemnly. "Long live the Empire."

You each took a drink. The expensive liquid both burned and soothed your throat on its way down. It was an odd sensation, but one you hadn't realized you needed until that moment.

"I take it you have a plan," you said.

"The start of one," he assured, with just a hint of a smile. "In the mean time, we shall continue to maintain control of our own systems. Whatever resources available, we will refocus into our fleet. With any luck, others may join us, but we cannot rely on that fact."

You nodded, finally feeling as if your feet were starting to settle on solid ground.

"Shall I inform the crew?" you asked.

He shook is head. "I believe it would be best if they heard it from me."

There was a pause as you waited for him to dismiss you, but, no such order came. He just kept looking at you.

It was a familiar look, but one always caught out of the corner of your eye. The kind of look that left your heart racing and blood warm. Now, so clearly directed at you, it was hard to breath.

"Is there something else, sir," you prompted.

He blinked as if coming back to himself. "How long have we known each other, Commander?"

You frowned, slightly taken aback by the sudden change of subject.

"Ten years, more or less."

He nodded, setting down his drink as he did so. "I could tell you exactly; ten years, seven months, and twelve days. You were a Captain at the time."

The warmth in your cheeks spread, forcing you to put down your glass as well.

"And you were a Commander," you said, the memory coming back to you with the ease. "It has been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Yes." The word was spoken so softly, you almost wondered if someone else had said it.

Glancing up, you caught a strange gentleness in his expression. It only lasted a moment, but it was there all the same.

"You don't have to stay," he said.

You straightened in bewilderment. "Sir?"

"The reinstatement of the Empire is a task which will take years to complete," he continued, calmly. "It will take dedication and sacrifice. Only complete devotion will allow it to come to fruition. I plan to announce that any who wish to leave the service are free to do so and return home. Those who remain, will likely never see their home worlds again. It is not to be taken lightly, and I will not have anyone on my crew who doubts their resolve.”

He paused, just as a hint of emotion came into his voice.

“I would not force you to stay, if you do not wish it."

You stared at him, mouth gaping in wonder. Your answer came easily.

"I'm not leaving you, sir."

He blinked. Your stomach twisted.

You had said “you”; not the Chimaera, not the service, you.

You wanted to take back the words, but it was no use. You knew the truth and now so did he. You might be willing to give years of your life to the service, but you would give your entire self to Thrawn.

He watched you with an unreadable expression. Slowly, as if approaching a frightened animal, he walked out from behind his desk.

"I thank you, Commander," he murmered. "I admit, I hoped that would be your answer. I could not imagine the next few years without you with me."

Your breath hitched, just as he stopped only a foot from your body.

He had said "me".

Without a word, he reached out a hand and tenderly pressed it to your cheek.

His touch sunk into your skin making your melt into him. You placed your hand, over his, keeping it there. If this was your imagination, you needed to cling to if for as long as you were able.

He stepped closer, his glowing red eyes gazing into yours as the warmth of his breath brushed against your lips.

"There is something else I must ask of you," he whispered.

"Anything."

He leaned a hair closer, his nose brushing against your own. "May I kiss you, now?"

A small smile came to your lips. "You needn't ask."

With that permission, he pressed his lips to yours pulling you into a slow and passionate kiss.

The Emperor was dead. Long live the Emperor. And long live the one at his side.

#star wars #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn x reader #grand admiral thrawn x reader #the thrawn trilogy #timothy zahn

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the-insomniac-emporium · 4 years ago

Text

Dimitrescu Daughter HCs

I thought this would only take a few minutes. I was so, so very wrong. Anyway, some of these are somewhat exclusive to my fic (Serenade), but they’ll make sense even if you haven’t read that.

Daniela:

Others have already talked about how Daniela reads a ton of romance novels, so I’m not really going to go into that very much, just saying that I agree 100%, I mean c’mon, it’s practically canon.

While she mainly sources books from her family’s library, there are a few she’s “acquired” over the years that she keeps locked away in her room. These tend to be a bit, ahem, steamier than her mother would approve of/let her read under normal circumstances.

How did she get these? Well, there has to be someone who delivers goods to Castle Dimitrescu (Duke, perhaps?), seeing as the Maidens need, like, actual food to survive. Sometimes Daniela manages to convince them to order books for her, usually just asking for books by authors she likes, or ones she’s heard maidens whispering about.

No, the delivery person does not read the book’s summaries or reviews, they have a feeling (based on titles and covers alone) that they don’t want to know.

As for her experiences with actual romance… she’s so very, very excited about it, all the time. Wants to kiss every cute Maiden she sees, and sometimes daydreams about a beautiful woman fleeing from lycans who comes to the castle for shelter, clinging to Dani for warmth and protection, and it’s love at first sight, and they kiss and kiss and right as it gets to the good part-! Someone interrupts her daydream (usually Cassandra).

However, her actual experiences are fairly limited. Sure, she has kissed Maidens, but she tends to get over excited. Like in Serenade, she starts to rush the process, and usually ends up draining her “lover” aka victim before anything more intimate happens.

She’s definitely done sexual things, just, well, not with other people. Private things. Usually during or after reading one of her special books. You get the picture.

Because of this, and her aforementioned love of romance novels, Daniela has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of her first time. She wants everything to be perfect. The setting, the timing, who she’s with… Hence her reaction in chapter 3 of Serenade. It’s not that she didn’t want to continue, just that the circumstances didn’t feel right. She’s very particular!

Favorite Music Genre: Girl goes wild for an emotional, gut-wrenching love/power ballad. The type to lie in bed and cry while listening to Hozier or Lorde (not that she can hear either of them, considering her limited music options). Doesn’t admit it, though, and mostly listens to indie pop when other people can hear. That and whatever the Maiden plays on piano ;)

Okay it feels weird to joke about her loving music I wrote, anywayyyy

Hobbies: Other than reading there’s not too much I can see her doing, really. She’d be sure to get into anything that her s/o enjoys, though, even if it’s something difficult or time-consuming. Writing is something she’d love, but it’s difficult for her to keep her focus on just one project at a time. Ideally she’d write short stories, romantic ones obvs, and have someone else proofread/edit them. For the most part she’d write within fantasy and historical setting (seeing as she’s got experience in both of those departments).

ADHD, BABY. Bigtime, seriously. Maybe this is just my adhd ass projecting, but I can’t not see her as having it. For her it mainly manifests with hyper-focusing/difficulty staying on task. It’s like a switch with those on either end, flipping back and forth every once in a while. She can spend six hours reading two different books in one sitting, but if someone just breathes too loudly it disrupts her completely. Because of this she’s somewhat prone to abandoning projects. It’s a sore subject for her, and her sisters are aware, normally only bringing it up if they’re really angry with her.

Opinions on the four lords: Thinks Heisenberg is a tool (pun intended), also thinks that he secretly reads super erotic novels. She doesn’t have any proof, though, and would never say anything about it out loud. Just makes fun of him in her head. Doesn’t actually judge him for what she thinks he reads, just judges his personality and the “need he feels to hide his secret”. Loves Donna, and low-key thinks she’s attractive. Daniela mostly bases that off the portrait she’s seen, but, like many fans, also thinks the hands are nice. The puppets don’t bother her, though she also doesn’t really care about them, other than thinking that Donna interacting with them is cute.

Opinions continued: Moreau is… uh… fish boy. Daniela thinks he’s weird, kinda gross, and hardly considers him a “real” lord. Poor boy :( At least she doesn’t actively make fun of him?... Even if that’s only because she kinda forgets about him most of the time. As for Lady Dimitrescu, well, obviously Daniela loves her mom. The whole family is very close, and as the “youngest”, Daniela gets a lot of attention. Sometimes she thinks her mother is too strict, but at the end of the day there’s no love lost.

Bela:

Cleans up after her sisters a lot, but still nowhere near as much as any of the Maidens do. Often agrees to help with messes in exchange for blackmail material. “Oh, Daniela, what a shame you broke mother’s favorite dish… I could help, but you owe me one.” At the end of the day, though, there’s plenty she would slide.

Being the “oldest”, she’s expected to behave the best, and often feels more restricted than her sisters. Being an example is hard! Occasionally she’ll have the impulse to rebel, but this usually only manifests in scenarios like the one mentioned above, aka she’ll simply be more lenient of her siblings for a bit.

Overall far less sadistic than her sisters. Cares more about the quality of pain then the amount of it. Only ever goes overboard if someone full out threatens or hurts her family. Insults towards them still earn her ire, and will get her to punish someone, but it’s not enough to make her resort to torture. Usually.

Gets the most restless out of the three. As cool (and large) as the castle is, it’s all she’s ever really known. If not for her weakness to cold, she’d go out on hikes a lot. Nature interests her, fascinates her, but she’d be a little less fond of most of it in person. Like, oh, waterfalls sound so cool, followed by a hundred complaints about the noise. Thinks deer are the cutest shit ever (second only to humans, maybe).

Unlike Daniela (though that HC is relevant almost exclusively to Serenade), Bela has actually slept with a Maiden before. She doesn’t really care for them enough to consider it a relationship, instead admiring them for their entertainment value. Definitely could fall for a Maiden, simply hasn’t yet. Of the three I feel like she takes the longest to fall in love, and even longer to actually act on her feelings. Sometimes resents her siblings because they unknowingly “claimed” a Maiden that she was starting to be interested in. However, she fully acknowledges that she should have said something if she didn’t want to lose the girl, considering the situation they live in.

Favorite music genre: Classical, full orchestra style, with a soft spot for swing/jazz. Enjoys having music play softly while she reads, and is very particular about the volume. Absolutely would argue with her sisters if they tried to change the music or turn it up.

Hobbies: Reading, duh. Less interested in romance than Daniela by a considerable amount. For the most part she reads non-fiction books, enjoying learning about history and the sciences. Astronomy is at the top of her favorites list, followed by biology, then obscure (and often bloody) pieces of history. Niche=perfect. Also enjoys music, even if she had to rely mostly on self-teaching books. Knows the basics of piano, but doesn’t actively play, much preferring both the violin and harp. Most of the time she’ll only play if she knows her sisters won’t bother her, or if her mother asks her to.

Opinions on the four lords: Admires Heisenberg’s work/his edgenuity, but thinks the actual man is a temperamental child… who smells like wet dog. He’s only been at Castle Dimitrescu a couple times (per Mother Miranda’s request), and both times Bela moved to the other side of the house so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge his existence. While she would never admit it, she’s low-key creeped out by Donna’s dolls, and really only tolerates Angie. However, she would never act on her nerves, out of consideration for Donna’s feelings. She knows that her mother gets along well with the dollmaker, and keeps this at the forefront of her mind.

Opinions continued: “Moreau who? Oh, the fish guy? He’s still alive?... Good for him.” Wants to make Lady Dimitrescu proud, but not as desperately as Cassandra. Unknowingly mimics a lot of her mother’s little habits and ticks, and would be quietly embarrassed if someone pointed it out to her. As mentioned previously, she feels like she has to be an example for the others, and somewhat resents the pressure this puts on her. On the other hand, she does enjoy being “responsible for” (read: in charge of) her sisters. Additionally, she is the most likely to get away with lying to Alcina, though she does not often do so. This isn’t because she’s the most manipulative (that’s Cass), or the best liar (that’s Dani, if she’s trying), but simply because Alcina doesn’t think her oldest daughter would lie. Even if she doubts something Bela says, she’ll usually give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as it doesn’t happen very often.

Cassandra:

Sleeps the most of the three, if only because she’s the most active of them. Not as fast as the others while in swarm mode, but the fastest on foot, partially because she’s more likely to simply walk places. She knows the sound of feet on the floor scares the Maidens, and she drinks their fear with utter pleasure. Additionally she claims that it just feels nice to “stretch her legs”. But she will not hesitate to enter swarm mode when chasing someone. As fun as it is to smell their fear, she can get impatient, wanting to get close and personal to her target.

Tends to hide most of her feelings, sometimes even opting to “convert” them into anger. In other words, think of her emotional state as an ever-filling bottle of water. As things happen, she feels emotions, and the rate at which water pours into the bottle increases. Ideally if the water level started getting too high, she would address whatever is increasing the flow of water. Instead of that, she often uses anger, which is equivalent to shaking the bottle a bit and letting water messily spill out of it. Doesn’t address the actual problem, but let’s her release some pressure/free up some room.

Goes through Maidens faster than her siblings (yes, even Daniela “draining you of blood is romantic” Dimitrescu). Not all of them even die in the basement, sometimes what was supposed to be a “warning” turns into “oh shit the blood won’t stop coming out, this is how I die, in this accursed castle, no friends or family to mourn me, just the painful knowledge that I will not be the last, I will die for no cause, no glory, just the bitter whims of a blood-soaked mistress” or something along those lines.

While more likely to get attached to someone than Bela, Cassandra isn’t one to do much about it. She might flirt, might even try to kiss (or, uh, kiss while also not wearing clothes wink wink), but she won’t (usually) claim someone as her own, or protest if one of her sisters wants to have some fun with them (even if it’s the bloody kind of fun). Technically gets over breakups and “breakups” (i.e. death) easier than either of her sisters. To be fully accurate, Daniela still goes through lovers faster, but she also remembers them and cares for them for longer post-breakup.

Somewhat of a blood kink. Like, more than vampires automatically have. In intimate settings she cares more about the quantity of blood and what she can do with it (loves bloodstains) than what causes the bloodshed.

Favorite music genre: Rock ‘n roll. Leans towards older stuff, as well as heavier songs. Soft spot for symphonic metal, but doesn’t admit it out of the fear that some might consider it a “weaker form” of the genre. Almost exclusively listens to bands that have female vocalists, and gets crushes on them more than she’d ever admit.

Hobbies: Art! Painting, mostly, but dabbles in sculpture from time to time. It’s been too long since I took an art class for me to suggest a style for her paintings, but I imagine her sculptures would be somewhat abstract. Her art would revolve around emotion, the stronger and rawer the better, with viewers often being left uncomfortable. While Alcina buys plenty of art supplies for her, Cassandra is fond of improvising, especially by creating her own “tools” (of questionable efficiency) out of items she has laying around. She is absolutely the one who took her mother’s lipstick. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry, it’s just mentioned in one of the RE8 notes that Lady Dimitrescu’s valuable lipstick is missing.

Opinions on the four lords: Tolerates Heisenberg more than the rest of her family by a considerable amount. She’s seen glimpses of his work, his steampunk-adjacent style, and actually kind of digs it. While Bela cares more about the science behind his work, Cassandra just digs the aesthetic. Sometimes for her art she also needs things she can’t get from the castle, and are too obscure to get from a merchant, so she trades tools/ideas with Heisenberg in exchange for him making something for her. “Can you make a battery but whenever it’s in use it makes a horrible screaming sound?” “Yes. PS I hate your mother and Miranda.” “I didn’t fucking ask.”

Opinions continued: Doesn’t really care much about Donna, but acknowledges her as a fellow artist, and would be willing to consult her if she talked more (and talked without Angie). Cassandra hasn’t met Moreau, thankfully (he would cry). Knows about him from her sister/mother, and as a result doesn’t care about him. Internally whenever someone mentions him, she pictures, like, a Goldfish Cracker (the snack that smiles back) with legs except also it’s green and moldy.

Opinions cont.: Loves her mother so much. Determined to please her, to make her proud, but often left feeling less loved than her sisters. This strains her relationship with her family, not that she’d ever voice her feelings and talk through the issue. Let’s be real, Alcina would probably feel guilty for not realizing how Cass felt. Nonetheless, Cassandra probably spends the most time with her mother, often offering to assist her with tasks, or trying to get her to appreciate her art.

#resident evil: village #daniela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #dimitrescu family

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possiblyimbiassed · 4 years ago

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The lying liars who lie

Years and years late to the party, I’ve finally gotten my hands on all the DVDs of BBC Sherlock, and I thought it would be fun to watch the extra material carefully, one piece after another, and also listen to at least some of the show makers’ commentary of the episodes. But at this point, after S4 where DVDs seemed to be a constant lying device in general, I tend to look at them with a bit more suspicious eyes...

I still love the show of course, but now that I’ve taken this deep dive into all the special features, I find them a truly hard thing to try to wrap my head around. Even this long after the fact, I’m amazed by the amount of shameless, self-congratulatory BS in the DVDs, where the people involved can’t have enough of complimenting each other and their show, while they skillfully avoid to discuss anything actually meaningful about the plot line. ;) For example, Moffat claims in the S2 DVD that “In fact, you’ll never see a more obsessively authentic version of Sherlock Holmes than this one”. But if we follow their light-hearted commentary, which basically takes the show at face value, I’d call that not just hyperbole, but an outright lie. If you want to see the ‘authentic’ stories from ACD’s work in this show, you’ll definitely need to go much deeper into the subtext and meta levels - neither of which are mentioned on these DVDs of course. Here’s my own (rather subjective) ‘review’ of the whole thing, trying to pinpoint why I view most of the commentary of the show from its own makers as an advanced art of deception.

(My musings under the cut)

Series 1 - a wealth of extra material

First of all - as many of you probably knew already - the whole of the Unaired Pilot is added to the DVD of S1. In the extra material about the making of the series, they (Sue Vertue, Mofftiss and others) talk about what things they changed between the Pilot and ASiP, claiming that many changes were necessary improvements once they knew that they had a whole series and a lot more time at their disposal.

Which I can perfectly understand and agree with in general. But I think what’s missing in their discussions is more interesting than what’s actually there (”Mind the gap” ;) ). Things that I would expect from the show makers when they go to the trouble of comparing the pilot version with the aired product. There’s not a word, for example, about the fact that they added both Mycroft and Moriarty to the story in ASiP - two characters who later turn out to play major roles and appear in almost every other episode until the end of TFP. Or about the choice that one of the screenwriters would play Mycroft.

Neither do they discuss why they chose to relocate the place where Sherlock was challenged by the cabbie from 221B to Roland Kerr’s School of Further Education. Instead they focus on the details, like for example the new design of the interior of 221B.

Not to mention the fact that almost every scene in the Pilot is mirrored in ASiP (as pointed out long ago by @kateis-cakeis X), but at Angelo’s in the Pilot Sherlock follows the events with the cabbie while looking in an actual mirror. I even noticed that in the Pilot the cabbie is offering Sherlock dark-coloured bottles with the pills in them, while in ASiP those bottles are transparent, as if the cabbie is offering Sherlock to play Black or White in the chess game that he is simulating. What’s with all these mirrors, though? Not a word on the DVD... ;)

Now, even though these rather remarkable choices are neglected together with a great bunch of minor ones, I still think that the most interesting fact about all this is that they actually included the whole pilot version within this DVD, which is sold by the franchise. Why even do this, when it raises far more questions than it answers? The only logical reason I can come up with is that they’re laying out a track of little hints that anyone with a deep enough interest in the show to actually buy the DVDs can try to follow. And it seems to me that lying by omission is one of the first steps in the long line of cryptic and misleading author comments on this show. But at the same time, they clearly want the fans to have access to it all, even the abandoned version.

Moving on to Series 2, time for bigger lies

In the extra material of this DVD Benedict himself describes how his character "faces one of his deadliest enemies in the shape of Love, and it comes in the form of Irene Adler, who is this extraordinary dominatrix [insert here a bunch of superlatives regarding Adler]...”. And then we see how Adler whips Sherlock with a riding crop (without any kind of consent, I have to add) while he’s lying on the floor, and we have Lara Pulver telling us how it was to have a go at Benedict on set. So Holmes whips dead bodies and Adler whips living; seems like a match made in hell! :))

Gatiss claims, grinning with his whole face, that “they’re clearly, absolutely made for each other”. OK, so I think we can see Sherlock being intellectually impressed by Adler, and even trying to protect her from Mycroft, and we can see John acting jealously. We can also see her being dressed and styled as a perfect, female mirror of Sherlock. But I’m still at a loss what all this has to do with love on Sherlock’s part? Especially since he’s not even responding in any fashion to her various attempts at seducing him.

And there’s more: Paul McGuigan, the director of ASiB, claims that the scene where Sherlock has a conversation with Adler inside his Mind Palace about the crime case with the car that backfires "is a part of a kind of love story, if you like...” No, I don’t. Maybe it’s just me, but if their aim really was to convey to their audience a love story between Sherlock and The Woman, I think they failed miserably. All I see is a guy ’mansplaining’ to a clever woman how to use her brain, while she’s trying to flirt with him by expressing her admiration (to no avail, though) and make deductions at the same time. Nothing new under the sun, really. John did the same thing repeatedly in ASiP (without making own deductions) and got far more attention from Sherlock, but I’ve never heard any of the show makers call that ”a love story”. But by ’lie-splaining’ the scene with Irene to the audience, they try to manipulate us all to see it as such...

In all the direct commentary of this episode, where Steven, Mark, Sue, Benedict and Lara are present, I get the impression that every time they even touch on the relationship between Sherlock and John, they hurry to add the term “friendship” or “man love” or similar words in case they forgot them at first, avoiding even the tiniest possibility that there could be anything more going on between them. They even explain that when Irene calls them “a couple” she does not mean anything romantic. This whole approach feels almost paranoic in the midst of all the laid-back jokes and light-hearted talk about the filming. It’s as if a sort of restrictive, heteronormative filter or blanket is being constantly applied, to teach the audience the ‘no homo’ lesson of it all. And the more I listen to this, the more tiresome it becomes.

In the commentary Moffat does reveal an interesting detail, though: that the ‘Flight of the Dead’ in ASiB was inspired by a cut out scene in the Bond movie On Her Majesty's Secret Service. To me this is just one more reason to question the ‘authentic’ quality of this scene, as opposed to possibly taking place in Sherlock’s Mind Palace. But I digress...

Listening to the commentary in general, it’s like it’s aimed to distract the attention from what’s going on at the screen rather than highlight it and try to explain their intentions. They do mention that Irene didn’t actually ‘beat’ Sherlock in the end of ASiB, but there’s no explanation of this obvious deviation from canon, where Adler does indeed fool Holmes, taking advantage of his prejudices.

The rest of the extra material of S2 is mostly about technical stuff, special effects and such, and also about filming techniques and Benedict’s delivery of fast deductions. But the part I really do love is the one where Andrew Scott talks about how much he enjoyed playing the scene where Moriarty dances before breaking into the Crown Jewels. That’s one of my favorite scenes of he whole show. :) Also, the takeaway message from this DVD is Moffat’s words at the end:

“These are still the formative years of Sherlock Holmes, and the most important thing about this series is not that it’s updated; it’s the fact that those two men are still young and they’re still at the beginning of what they don’t yet know is gonna be a lifelong partnership”.

And then comes Series 3...

...and its extra material, with the most blatant attempts at deception so far, I believe. At this point Sherlock is called a “psychopath” by both the show’s characters, John’s blog, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as if it were true, which is a big deviation from ACD canon. That simply doesn’t happen there; while Holmes is sometimes described as eccentric, no one in the books is ever claiming that Sherlock Holmes has some kind of mental illness leaning towards cruelty and egotism - not even his enemies say this about him. In the show, however, they begin in ASiP with making him torture a dying man for information (something that is not included in the Pilot). And in S3, where they avoid discussing the reason why they turned Mary Morstan into a ruthless assassin, this major shift is glossed over by the fact that in the same episode (HLV) they also turn Sherlock into a murderer, who cold-bloodedly blows the brains out of a blackmailer for threatening to make said assassin’s crimes public.

But without ever getting into the “why” of it all, the cast and crew seem overly happy and smiling describing these rather morbid choices as something positive; “fantastic”, "fresh and new” and "amazing” are their choice of words. Benedict claims that Mary, who has literally shot and almost killed Sherlock in HLV, is now "a new best friend of Sherlock’s”. Amanda claims that Mary “is protecting John” when she shoots Sherlock in the chest. Now they’re both psychopaths, and poor little John is forced to stomach them both because he’s addicted to danger. In Amanda’s words, Mary also “kind of gets in between the two of them, but she wants them to be together as well”. Which is a load of BS considering that Mary tries to kill the protagonist of the story.

Lars Mikkelsen thinks it’s “such a good script” because “you’re mislead as an audience”. But he never gets the chance to expand on what the misleading actually contains, because then Mofftiss cut in to express how much they love playing with “what ifs”. As if this whole mega-budget project of a show were just a big experimental playground without any actual story to tell.

Benedict repeats his line from HLV that Magnussen “preys on people who are different” and Moffat also says he “exploits people who are different”. Which is really confusing, considering what we can see Magnussen actually do in the show. Lady Smallwood and John Garvie are two well-established, powerful governmental politicians whom Magnussen blackmails by finding their respective pressure points. In Garvie’s case his pressure point seems to be alcohol problems in his past, but according to media he’s later arrested on charges of corruption. Lady Smallwood is blackmailed on the basis of her husband having sent compromising letters to a minor many years ago, in spite of later claiming that he thought she was older and stopped when he found out the truth. And then Magnussen is blackmailing an assassin who recently threatened to execute him but shot Sherlock Holmes instead, in order to try to get at Sherlock’s brother Mycroft, another powerful governmental figure.

But what does media seeking out dirt on certain people in power and their families have to do with “people who are different”? Despicable as the method may be, isn’t this unfortunately how political power play usually works in our society? Or are TPTB somehow a repressed minority group now? Unless this whole “people who are different” accusation is actually about something entirely different, something that none of the show makers even cares to mention... ;)

In these DVDs, none of the involved persons is ever discussing the change of roles with regards to canon, though, or the (lack of) logics in this turn of events, or even a hint about the narrative motivation behind them. It’s all about the great Drama, the extraordinary visual effects and the aim to endlessly “surprise the audience”. Which is fine by me to a certain extent, but when this is all that’s being said, it feels extremely superficial, as if the audience is merely seen as a bunch of consumers that have to be triggered more and more by horror, special effects and cliff hangers to be able to appreciate the show. (“Warm paste” indeed, like Gatiss has later criticized some viewers of wanting...) While the "why”; the idea behind this surrealistic adaptation, made by self-proclaimed fanboys of ACD, is not even touched upon. Around this, the silence is total and therefore totally confusing.

Maybe I shouldn’t even go into Series 4...

...but why not, since I’ve already started? :)

First of all, there’s a lot of extra material on this DVD and I particularly love the parts about the music and composing and Arwel Wyn Jones’ work with the design and build-up of John’s and Mary’s flat and the interior of 221B. Those bits are truly enjoyable. What I could live without, though, is the leading commentary that kind of instructs us, the audience, how we should interpret the show.

Benedict is on it again on this DVD, telling us that in TST they picked up where they left off in S3 and “It’s a very happy unit of three people that then become four.” Why does he feel the need to make this statement, considering how S3 ended? Actually, if there’s anything I totally fail to see in S4, it’s happiness. The banter between the three of them may seem entertaining for a while, but who could have a relaxed, warm relationship with someone who tried and almost succeeded to kill you less than a year ago? Without any sign of remorse? Now there’s a dark tone of discomfort and mean jokes that feels forced and not even a bit happy to me.

But Martin tells us how excited John and Mary are about starting a family and Amanda mentions how much they’re looking forward to the baby. Again and again it’s repeated, as though trying to rub it in: “they’re in a good place, they’re a loving, married couple”. Yeah, right - a child that (judging by TSoT) wasn’t at all planned and now with an assassin for a mother... Twice we see the new parents complain that their daughter has the mark of Satan on her forehead and debate which horror movie she’s from. The clichéd hypocrisy of it all is sickening, and I’m willing to bet that it’s really meant to be. ;)

But Gatiss chimes in, deciding for us all that the christening of Rosie is “a funny scene” and “they’re enjoying each other, enjoying being on adventures as a three”.

An interesting detail is that Gatiss also tells us that the working name of this episode was “The Adventure of the Melting power Ranger”. So this little blue guy was that important? :) And - even more interesting - is when he says: “Cake is now the code for violent death”. So how should we interpret Sherlock, John and Molly going out to have cake in TLD then, on Sherlock’s (supposed) birthday?

These might be jokes, though, but when they tell us that Sue cries every time she sees Mary’s death I strongly believe they must be joking. How could anyone feel truly moved by this overly sentimental long monologue where far more efforts are put into reacting to Mary’s speech than saving her life? And John’s mooing like a cow, is that also moving? :)

One thing Martin says about TLD that actually disgusts me is regarding the morgue scene where John assaults Sherlock and Sherlock lets it happen: “From there, really, their relationship can only sort of rebuild, that’s the absolute worst it can get”. As if outright physical abuse would be something that makes you want to rebuild a relationship? Wow - just wow... How far can they go with this crap?

Anyway, when we finally arrive at the absurdity of TFP and Sherlock’s ‘secret sister’, everything is of course discussed as if she actually does exist on the given premises, and everything she does is ‘real’, no matter how impossible it would be in real life. The abandonment of any attempt to have the story line make logical sense is skillfully covered up by more distraction with fascinating technicalities of the film making process. This is where Gatiss makes his now almost classic statement that after Sherlock and John jump out of the window at 221B when a grenade explodes there, it’s just “Boop! And they’re fine.”

Of course there’s no serious attempt at explaining this logically. Except perhaps Gatiss claiming that they both landed on Speedy’s awning - whatever good that would do to them, since the awning is leaning downwards, but never mind... But we never even saw that happen, did we? A great deal of time is then dedicated to show all the precautions to have Martin and Ben jumping safely at low level onto a madras supported by empty cardboard boxes.

Sian Brooke did say something interesting about Sherrinford, however, that got me thinking. She said that Eurus “wants revenge for the years and years that she has been held captive” there, isolated, and that in TFP the Holmes children are now “lab rats” and “it’s an experiment”. On a meta level, I think we can indeed see this episode - and maybe the whole show - as a kind of experiment, but maybe we, the audience, are also lab rats? Since Sherrinford is slightly shaped like a film camera (not commented in the extra material, of course), it leads my thought to all the adaptations through the years and years where Holmes and Watson have not been allowed to be together. A whole century when Sherlock Holmes has been held captive, restricted by the very same sort of heteronormative filter that all this extra material imposes; it’s like Sherrinford, isn’t it? Which gives all the more meaning to Moriarty’s arrival to the island, accompanied by Freddy Mercury’s “I want to break free”...

I think I’ll let the final words in this little exposé come from Mark Gatiss in The Writers’ Chat (my bolding):

“Moriarty is a fascinating thing in that in our sea of ongoing lies, one thing we’ve genuinely been completely consistent about is telling people he’s dead. But no-one believes it! And it’s a rather brilliant thing.” Again - self-congratulatory statements. But instead of providing some actual evidence of the death of this character, who has kept popping up in almost every episode since his supposed demise, they think that the more a confirmed liar repeats something, the truer it gets? And the more we’re supposed to believe them? Well, all we can do is wait and see. :)

Tagging some people who might be interested:

@raggedyblue @ebaeschnbliah @sarahthecoat @gosherlocked @lukessense @sagestreet @thepersianslipper

My earlier meta on a similar topic (X)

#bbc sherlock dvds #Deception in BBC Sherlock

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getoutofmyjaneway · 3 years ago

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Beta Cannon: the Pre Voyager Era of Kathryn Janeway | Mosaic v The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

This weekend, I got a copy of the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway from a local book store. For how frequently we speak about Mosaic in the community (despite having some flaws) I was shocked that I had not heard a lot about this book and assumed it was a bad thing. And yeah in some regards it was (see @mia-cooper’s post on the subject). I have a lot of feelings (I’ll post a proper review at a later point) but one thing that did stick out to me is the divergence from what we have considered Beta Canon, aka, the extended universe of Star Treks told through novels, short stories, video games, etc. After completing the novel, I jumped right into my old standby copy of Mosaic, which has dictated a lot of Janeway’s back story since 96. Both of these novels cover the beginnings of Janeway’s life and how she was shaped into the woman we know.

TLDR The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway changes a lot of things for no reason. Some of these are for the good. Some for the bad. And some, for like no good reason at all, like it was fine as it was, and was accepted cannon for like 25 years, but sure fine whatever.

I will mention that, as Mosaic has been a book in my library and I have read it too many times, so of course, I do have a bias toward it. Additionally, I feel like it is fair to mention here that authors of Fanfiction have leaned on this as their bibles since 1996 as Mosaic is written by Jeri Taylor, one of the show-runners for Voyager. Because of its connection with a showrunner, Mosaic is also integrated into the canon of the show. It seems that most points that are taken from Mosaic in the Autobiography are only included because of their existence in cannon material.

Anyway, this review is going to focus on the characters that shape Kathryn and I will end with my final thoughts. This is long so to respect your dash, you are going to have to click keep reading. You’re welcome.

Obligatory Spoiler Warning for ALL of Mosaic, chapter 13 of Pathways, and chapters 1-7 of The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

Edward Janeway

In all media, I feel like we can safely say that Kathryn Janeway is in fact a daddy’s girl. Her relationship with her father is very important to her, so it is interesting to see how it is portrayed very differently in both novels. In Mosaic, a lot of the highlights of Janeway’s earlier years revolve around time spent with him. From giving her special attention after ‘Your Sister’ was born, to consoling her after her losing tennis match and subsequent walk home in the rain, and trips to Mars, Kathryn mentions great fondness of quality time spent. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway he is more described as an absent father, one that she always wanted to see and please. When he was home, she wanted all of his attention and to impress him greatly. She wished to follow in his footsteps after gaining a love of flight and the stars with a plane ride and a telescope he gave her. He tried to prepare her by detaining the events of the current conflict with Cardassia and inviting Starfleet brass over for dinner. Overall, in her early childhood, it makes more sense for Edward to not be around often. There is not a lot of conflict between the sources, other than the details of the aforementioned tennis match and different childhood nicknames.

Edward is in a crash aboard an experimental ship on Tau Ceti Prime which leads to his death. This is where the big differences begin. In Mosaic, Kathryn and her fiancé are also on board. In Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn is still on the Al-Batani. The fall out of this event has a great effect on Kathryn of course in both novels. As this is a missive shaping event of Kathryn’s life, I felt it very jarring to be changed. This moment shaped Janeway and gives us good context for why she handles situations the way she does. I see this trauma and I understand her character better, for dealing with the loss of two of the most important people in her life all at once.

Gretchen Janeway

The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway was good to Gretchen Janeway as her character is basically a blank slate. We know little about her from Mosaic as it mostly focuses on Kathryn’s relationship with her father (and other male influences in her life). It is nice to learn more things about Grechen as with Edward’s job, it is likely that Kathryn was mainly raised by her. Other than being an artist, she also wrote some of the Flotter holos and wrote a number of children’s stories about the people of Bajor during the occupation. She does a lot of humanitarian work with the refugees from Bajor during the occupation. She loves to garden and get her daughters involved. She has a close bond with Phoebe due to their overlapping interests, but you can tell that she strives to support her in what she does. Overall, I like getting know Gretchen to be someone of than Kathryn’s mother.

Phoebe Janeway

I was shocked when researching Memory Alpha for this review, Phoebe is never named in any Cannon media up to this point (Star Trek Prodigy could very well change this). We know Janeway has a sister and she is an artist, but that is it. Both novels keep her very similar personality-wise. In both stories, Kathryn is not looking forward to being a big sister. They also both mourn the loss of their father together. In Mosaic, she is not mentioned much. Kathryn tells her she is not old enough on an off planet trip and Phoebe plays pranks on her. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway goes much more into depth. They don’t get along when they are younger. They fight a lot. I feel this is a very realistic portrayal of real siblings, vying for attention and approval, snapping when they don’t get their way. They both excel at what they do, Kathryn in her studies and Phoebe through her art. They seem to need to one-up each other at every turn. As they grow up, they grow closer together, as many siblings do. Points added for giving Phoebe a wife, something which has been included in a lot of fanfiction. Overall, there are no big conflicting points.

Mark Johnson

Kathryn’s fiance at the time of the Voyager’s disappearance, Mark is a very different part of Kathryn’s life in both novels. In Mosaic, he is a childhood friend and went by his middle name Hobbs. Seemingly always two steps behind Kathryn, he did a lot of the same activities that she did, tennis and swimming in the underground cave systems. He did these poorly, and this makes Kathryn always look down upon him. They reconnected after her father’s death and she fell head-over-heels for him. Personally, I always felt this was a little uncharacteristic of Kathryn, to run away from her responsibilities to be with a man. It just seems very out of character and has always bothered me. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway takes a completely different approach. She meets Mark as a friend of Pheobe and her wife as a widower. They hit it off and they fall hard. You can see the conflict in Kathryn as she debates how to move forward with a relationship as they have different outlooks on life. She has a drive to explore but does not want to be an absent parent. She debates quitting, which I don’t think is something Janeway would have ever done. Overall she decides to accept Mark’s proposal just before taking command of Voyager. This makes the Dear John situation a lot more believable as it makes sense that he would want to move on with his life much quicker. Overall, I have to just ask, why? I know Mark doesn’t have a lot of character, but why change basically their whole relationship dynamic?

Justin Tighe

Justin is a character I actually like for selfish reasons. This explains why I was very miffed that he was nowhere to be seen in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Justin is Kathryn’s first love, they were coworkers, engaged and in love, and dies in the same accident that takes her father. As a person who always wanted Chakotay and Janeway to get together, this incident perfectly gives the reason. She is afraid to get romantically involved with a crew member because of the nature of the job. This dynamic is seen between Picard and Nella Daren in TNG very well. Kathryn has learned the hard way that she can lose a person under her command and how it feels when you are in love with that person. In early Voyager, you can see she isolates herself from the crew and it takes time for her to get comfortable. And during Night she relapses to her old ways. This is the way I have always justified Janeway’s reluctance to have a romantic relationship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. By understanding her background, I have a lot of respect for that choice. Her relationship with Justin really shaped how she handles relationships and without the impact he had on her life, it actually makes her character weaker.

Owen Paris

Owen is Kathryn’s mentor. In Mosaic, they meet as he is reviewing her junior honors thesis advisor on massive compact halo objects. From here they gained a relationship built on respect and learning. It makes sense that, as he was her personal mentor, that she would be close with his family, and why she would seek out Tom as a person to bring with her to the Badlands mission. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, she does not meet him until she is on the Al-Batani. This doesn’t only weaken her relationship with Admiral Paris, but moreover weakens her relationship with Tom. If he was her superior officer, why would she develop such a ‘big sister’ mentality to Tom if she didn’t have as many opportunities to meet him?

Tuvok

Mosaic does not go too much in depth with Tuvok and Janeway’s relationship, but its sister novel Pathways does. In Pathways, Tuvok meets Janeway when he is an ensign under her command of the USS Bonestell. The Bonestell and the Billings, two ships that Janeway served on, tend to get confused a lot. Most sources have Janeway’s first command as the Voyager, Including Voyager itself - “It doesn't seem like my first command is shaping up the way I expected,” Janeway Shattered. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway has her and Tuvok meet on the Al-Batani. I actually really like the dynamic between them, as they grow to respect each other over a much longer period of time. I also like that, though Janeway climbs through the ranks, it does not change their relationship dynamic as she still relies on him and asks him advice as if they were equals. I think giving them a longer time to build their relationship. Also would like to note that Janeway and Tuvok also had a friendship with the original CMO of Voyager, Dr. Fitzgerald. I always wanted to know more about the Pre-Caretaker crew and I would have loved to see this dynamic and how the grief of losing a close personal friend in the Caretaker incident would impact them both.

Also I feel obligated to shout out the Janeway and Tuvok story in Star Trek Waypoint One-Shot. I need to get around to doing a series retrospective, but this short story I have not seen anyone talk about and I love it so much. Please read Waypoint. Okay next.

Other characters

Cheb - Janeway’s boyfriend in Mosaic. He was kind of an asshole and got her into trouble. He is not in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway and I see no problem with this.

Boothby - “[he is the] head groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy. When I was a cadet, he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters,” Janeway Revulsion. Boothby is not in Mosaic. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, it is explained that her mother loved to garden and this was something that Boothby did as a gradian figure to make her feel at home and destress. Makes sense.

Aisha - A childhood friend of Katheryn’s. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Mosaic has this weird thing about highlighting the relationships with only the men in her life, so it is nice to see her have some other female friends.

Nexa - Katheryn’s roommate at the Academy. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Nexa helps broaden Kathryn’s horizons by helping to learn about Exoliguisticts, first contact, and the Betazoid culture. Again nice to see her have other female friends.

Riker - Yes they go on a date in Mosaic. He is not mentioned in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. I know he is a gag character but I still liked it.

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Final Thoughts

A lot of characters were changed between these two novels. There is a lot to like and a lot to hate. I really like what the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway did with characters like Tuvok and Gretchen Janeway. Other characters were not so lucky (Justin, sweetie I’m so sorry that they would erase you like that, oh my god). It’s a mixed bag, but one thing I need say is... why?

We have had a good thing going here with the established canon as is. Mosaic (and Pathways) is the foundation of which the last 25 years of fanworks and the relaunch novels are based on. Why change history when it is already written?

Always, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading my novel of a post. I will see you in the full review.

#star trek #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #janeway #voyager #voyager book club #star trek novel #the autobiography of kathryn janeway

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