beatricebidelaire

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so i was thinking. can i describe a fic as [movie name] AU if i don’t quite follow the plot of the movie for the fic? what about only loosely 50% of the plot? what if it only uses the initial setup/backstory?

take the man from uncle for example, if the fic starts with two people from opposites sides forced to work together to retrieve something, and there’s a third person in the mix who’s connected, and also will pretend to be dating one of them, but the fic plot doesn’t follow what happens in the man from uncle, then can i still call it the man from uncle AU?

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Beatrice taking Klaus fishing to indulge his newfound interest in fish despite knowing she was going to be bored just bc she wanted him to see all the fish he’d read about. Mom of the year I’m not being facetious

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( mythological ask meme ) @littlestsnicket said 🦇 Lemony Snicket vampire

Moral: There was a Lemon Man

[beatricebidelaire]

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[beatricebidelaire]

A Series of Unfortunate Events - 1x03

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Snicketober day 13 - "Least Favorite Character," a prompt which here means "Character I'd most enjoy hitting with my car." (Unfortunately he is really, really fun to draw)

(Prompt by @free-my-boy-grumbot)

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fictober day 13: "that's not the point" | all the wrong questions | G

read on ao3

They were sitting on the floor of the Mallahan living room, cleaning up a game of Parcheesi. Lemony had lost handily, as he usually did, and was currently frowning at her with his arms crossed. “This isn’t fair, Moxie. Can’t we play something else? You always win at Parcheesi.”

“Well, perhaps you’re just a sore loser.”

“I am not a sore loser,” Lemony said sorely.

“I’ve been trying my best to help you, Snicket. It’s not my fault you keep leaving pieces out to fend for themselves and then getting surprised when I capture them.”

“That’s not the point.”

Moxie stood up to return the box back to its place on the high shelf. “What on earth is the point then?”

“The point is that I’m plain sick of Parcheesi, is all. It’s impossible to win.”

“There’s a difference between you being bad at it and it being impossible to win. Chin up. You’ll to win soon enough.” The statement was completely empty of any real meaning. Moxie doubted he would be able to win a single game with his level of skill.

Lemony flopped over, face down on the hardwood. “You’re right. It’s improbable that I wouldn’t be able to win a single game. Maybe we just have to play more rounds. It’s simple statistics.”

“I thought you were sick of Parcheesi. And I don’t think that’s how statistics works.”

“That’s absolutely how statistics works,” Lemony mumbled into the floor. “One of my associates back in the City is a very talented engineer.”

“What on earth does engineering have to do with statistics? Those are entirely separate fields.”

“I just meant she’s better at math than I am— and I don’t think that’s entirely true, anyhow.”

“Whatever you say,” she huffed. “All right, I’ll go back and get the box if you really want to play another round. Are you going to get up from the floor?”

“No.”

“Alright. I suppose you’ve ceded victory already, then.”

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“you okay?” B asks.

“i’ve been better,” K sighs, lying facedown on the sofa. “i mean, i’ve also definitely been worse but, yeah. i’ve really been better.”

“mmm,” B hums. “i know how that feels.”

“and what a wonderful help that is to my situation, truly,” K says sarcastically.

“hang in there, snicket,” B says. “the soup will be arriving in 20 minutes.”

“unless someone murders our delivery on the way.” K says.

“unless someone murders our delivery on the way,” B agrees. “or if she gets arrested.”

“or stops for a root beer float,” K says.

“or runs into esme,” B says.

“or receives news about my brother’s latest shenanigans,” K says. “or has a fight with O.”

“or decides to take a detour to hotel denouement?” B offers.

“and spontaneously gives the soup to D as a gift, after doing something to annoy F.”

silence falls between them.

K props herself up from the sofa. “the soup is never arriving, is it?”

“well, could be worse,” B says.

“could be worse.” K agrees. “could be raining.”

[beatricebidelaire]

i dont think i like playing poison darts any more

[beatricebidelaire]

love how we’ve all made our points so now it’s just like ‘as per my post 3 years ago…..’

[beatricebidelaire]

Pip: “Got a tip?” Lemony Snicket: “The Long Secret is a better book than the one that comes before it.” Pip: “That’ll do. Although Squeak and I have always preferred the one about the tap dancer and the lawyer.” Squeak: “They’re all good.”

– Lemony Snicket’s Who Could That Be At This Hour?, p.159f

The three books were all by the same author, and I recommend all three of them. There is one about a girl who spies on her neighbours and one about creepy notes that ruin people’s summer and one about a family that does not change even though the children want it to.

– Lemony Snicket’s When Did You See Her Last?, p.122f

[beatricebidelaire]

When I was answering that anon earlier, I was making mentally an exhaustive list of multicultural VFD and I remembered that Monty spoke Italian, and that he taught Kit some, and also young!Lemony didn’t know Italian, and as an adult it is said he is bad at French (citation needed) and that is what took me to remembering Lemony knows Esperanto, which I wrote in the reply because it is very symbolic. Here is the passage:

Interesting enough, it is not the only mention of Esperanto in the Snicketverse. The first one was in TPP:

I don’t have any point, it’s just cool. I personally love the concept of Esperanto and I even took some class when I was younger.

Could Sunny’s sentence in TPP be Lemony projecting once again?

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beatrice with a like. huge robe collection. ranging from soft and comfy to luxurious silk lounge wear to How Is That Even Considered Functional Clothing. lemony and bertrand taking turns wearing them all

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root beer float for the ask game !

so i didn't think i actually had this anywhere but i did go ctrl+f-ing through some documents and managed to find some root beer in one of the post-canon jumble documents --

frank was aware of why she unnerved him so much. Sunny looked like bertrand, with all his soft features and gentle turn to his mouth, but she had beatrice’s eyes. That dark, rich brown, always full of beatrice’s sharp wit and mirth and simmering temper, waiting to break, ready to kill. Honestly, frank wouldn’t put it past sunny. He’d watched her crack open a root beer bottle with her teeth while making unblinking eye contact.

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