#i deserve for my brain off easy entertainment to be good too

[fkapommel]

A Rant about Bridgerton s3 from a person who doesn't care about Bridgerton

I'm just a hater who is an optimist at heart. On Polin, the Mondrich's, Michaela Stirling, and Cressida.

I haven't read the Bridgerton books, and I don't believe there is any validity to a "but this isn't book accurate!" argument because Bridgerton the Show was marketed as a diverse, representational adaptation that liked the bones of Quinn's idea but made something better. And I, a lay person, have never seen as much virtroil and hatred towards the showrunners as I have seen this season using that exact argument that has never been uttered before because, near unanimously, all fans agreed that the showrunners were making a better story that 90s Quinn ever could. So many people, readers and non-readers alike, were disappointed with the handling of this season.

Peneolope and Colin

Polin was ignored during THEIR season for conventionally "pretty" and "thin" romances. There was zero character growth for either Penelope or Colin individually and as a couple in their own season. We are never shown why Colin loves Peneolope or why he has grown to appreciate her Whistledown project beyond dialogue - "I've learned that they are both you" what the hell does that even mean. Most of the season is spent with them physically apart making dumb faces at each other at dances with no cinemagraphric tension being built - few body closeups, boring musical cues, meaningless and repetitive body/facial choreography (I'm looking at you, open-mouthed contoured Colin) - when all this and more were utilized successfully in Anthony and Kate's season. People were thirsty as fuck to watch a white man get fucked by a darker skinned woman (as was i), but not even the showrunners could be assed about the romance between their only plus-sized character and a Bridgerton. We spent more time building up Francesca's relationship with Kilmartin over penting up Peneolope's romance - her feelings of tragedy, hopelessness. Peneolope has always been overlooked and truly believed that was her fate forever - even nearly agreeing to a marriage that would literally leave her ignored for years on end - and that was the central tension of the season. She knows who she is, she knows that she is love-worthy, talented, and intelligent, but will Colin? DOES Colin? Oh, he does, and he randomly decides that mid-way through the season. And then fumbles her so hard to the point of insulting her very character - calling her manipulative and scheming after they slept together - when the true authorship of Whistledown is revealed. There was not enough tension built nor sustained to carry his hatred for his wife during those episodes, and no, a couple shots where he looks at his very hot wife and thinks "damn, she is hot" is enough.

This season we should have seen what his mother told him - that he is incredibly self-sacrificial and puts other people's (his quoted siblings') happiness before him - in action during Pen and his plot to get a suitor. That device could have been both means and method of Colin's realization that Pen was his true match all along by being forced to list her accolades, scrutinize her face and body for physical compliments and inticements in order to hype her up for other suitors and recognizing her intelligence and manner of speak in Whistedown because of their newfound constant proximity instead of having to be told about her authorship and realizing off-screen their similarity (which, I'll mention, has never been demonstrated in all three seasons. As a person who writes very different to how they speak, I understand that there is some grace to be had here, but Penelope's dialogue does not include any Whistledownisms at ALL and there absolutely should be some demonstrable similarities, especially this season.) That's how Colin could have NOTICED her. In all, their romance was extremely fumbled in favor of having "prettier," "skinnker" bodies on screen because the showrunner had no faith in Nicola's verified abilities in being a leading lady in a larger body (which isn't even plus-sized UGH different argument). Pen has been in love with Colin since the Featherington's "moved in next door" - where was any of that? We learn more about Kate Sharma's childhood in her season than we do about Polin's, the season where its plot important. No flashbacks, no reminescing, no reasons given why Pen even liked Colin in the first place (could he have done something for her, perhaps noticing her in some character-important way, and thats why she developed a crush? No. He's simply a cute guy next door.) We don't even reminisce on Colin's recent worldly travels that, at the start of the season, have completely transformed him into a lady's man or taught him how to assume that character-type. We don't see Pen's life without him to contrast with her life with him back, but different. We don't see the strain on Colin trying to hold up this facade of being a confident womanizer, nor do we see any consequence of his womanizing, just distant shots of jealous Pen. Why be different, why be different now, what shaped and taught his transformation? Did he think of Pen when he was gone? All important questions that would've better characterized him.

Colin magically realizes he's been tortured for a few days seeing Pen talk with Debling a few times (who is completely forgotten about in Pt 2 holy shit I totally forgot about him), then is so mean to her realizing she's Whistledown, then magically falls in love with her again, and then oop- there's babies. Which i guess wasn't a surprise, but rubbed me the wrong way as neither of Polin has talked about wanting kids at all. In all other seasons, we see our pair demonstrate their abilities as viscountess or duchess, and we see them discuss the importance of having children plus an understanding of what it's like being parents. We didn't get any of that from Polin and seeing them suddenly thrust into parenthood was a shock to their characterization. They're love story is allowed to be juvenile, girl-/boy-next-door fantasizing, and rushing past Penelope's pregnancy and their transformation into parents was needless, leaving more questions than answers.

Mondriches

Why, the hell, was the Mondrich's selling their bar so goddamn important to this season?? This show is called Bridgerton, about the Bridgertons, but we have sacrificed necessary screen time on Colin Bridgerton's characterization and romance with Pen for filler than ultimately means nothing! He sells the bar anyway! This show was billed on meaningful representation of its diverse cast. You can't just make a nothing burger conflict about if this Black family suddenly thrust into being titled when the husband is weirdly attached to a bar where he serves whisky to his majority white clientelle. A Black family suddenly needing to learn the rules and decorum of the nobility is an interesting storyline in the world of Bridgerton, which characterizes itself has post-racial. Learning all the minute rules of etiquette is crafted to be impossible to an outsider, so how does this family of outsiders learn it? Where is the conflict that their inheritance rests on their child becoming the legal head of the family? There is so much to be explored here. In this concept rests a meaningful and emotionally convincing plot, but all we got was "Dude you need to sell your bar." "But I don't wanna! ............... I sold my bar." If youre going to waste screen time on one of the very few depictions of a plus-size character finding love that doesn't center her weight in its conflict, at least make it not so fucking boring.

Michaela Stirling and Francesca

And finally. Here we get to Michaela Sterling, who, based on the audience reaction, came on screen, showed her whole vag, killed beloved character Michael Sterling with a chainsaw, and hypnotized innocent Francesca Bridgerton in lesbianism. Good God people. Get a grip.

As a person not in the fandom, I have never seen this level of disgust and anguish over an adaptational change than to the introduction of Michaela Stirling. To anyone who hates this change and loves Mr. "Im going to tie you to the bed until you get pregnant": you already have that. No one is taking the books away from you. But a television adaptation of the books is not FOR you, it's for a whole new audience that pays homage to the original readership. If you cannot handle this change, stop watching.

To all of the television viewers who make a monolith of this outcry, accusing all nay-sayers of homophobia: get a grip. It is indeed emotionally difficult to see your beloved books get a poor adaptation or when screen adapters make changes that you see will make the narrative weaker. Literally every fandom that has had an adaptation has acted this way once or twice. And readers make some important concerns for the impending narrative! By introducing Michaela right after an entire season of this slow, easy, quiet romance between Francesca and John, the show has retroactively trashed every time that Fran has assured her family that she is truly in love with her now-husband (a fact that is important when that said husband is to be lost in the coming seasons). Fran and Stirling were demonstrating a real, true love that differed from the steamy, bodice-ripping lust the concept of Bridgerton was founded on. Their love was, may I remind you, incredibly popular to neurodivergent viewers who saw many traits of ND represented in Fran's character and her relationship with John. Her constant conflict with her mother and the queen who doubted that their love was valid because it did not behave in the same sensual way theirs had and then Violet's eventual approval of their relationship is important representation for love not based on lust and sexuality but on shared psychologies and interests. So far in Bridgerton, it has been illustrated that the only correct and long-lasting type of marriage is one based in wanting to fuck the pants off your partner; JoFran complicates this narrative. By then introducing Michaela and having Fran stutter over her words in compliance to Violet's memory of "forgetting the most familiar of words" when meeting her husband completely erases everything JoFran fought for and meant. "Wait, on second though, everything that these two characters stood for was in fact wrong and being so horned up that you forget your name is the only true start to a fulfilling relationship." This alludes to an eventuality that Fran's personality will be altered even more, that more parts of Francesca are indeed wrong and need to be changed for her to live a fulfilling marriage. (Yes, I understand that this has not happened yet, but the complete reversal of her relationship that she championed for an entire season makes one wary that even more is on the horizon). Further, Francesca's narrative is centralized around grief. How can that be actualized in the show if she falls out of love with her husband before her marriage night, when she's already lusting after her cousin by marriage? The Micheala introduction as it is in season 3 completely rewrites Francesca's character in the show and foreboding for an even greater change in seasons to come. There is an in-narrative issue with Michaela that is not reducible to homophobia but a genuine concern for the narrative.

Secondly, I have seen some people state that miffed viewers are upset about Francesca's bisexuality but not Eloise's implied lesbianism because they were comforted by Eloise's adherence to gay stereotypes, such as her "militant" feminism, her "not-like-other-girls" black sheepism, her hatred and disgust of men and the institution of marriage, and her constant, deep, near-homoerotic relationships with women. Francesca, in contrast, is princessly, beautiful in the same manner as Daphne, modest and sexually inhibited, concerned with feminine pursuits including marriage, and has not expressed an interest in women until her introduction to Michaela. To these people I say this: stop giving television showrunners so much grace. Michaela's introduction was meant as a shock to the audience. It was not meant to retroactively construct Francesca as a bisexual, locked in a tower of heterosexuality. It was meant to drum up just as much media buzz as it has. It is a hook for the next season meant to draw in new viewers - a queer audience scrounging for representation in the carpet hairs - and their run-of-the-mill audience member who pointed at their TV, exclaimed WHAT!?, and who is now hooked to discover how this new plotline will play out in the next season. It will keep their audience curious for however many years it takes for B4 to come out. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you were not surprised by Fran's sudden bisexuality. There is a reason that Eloise's stereotypicality is shorthand for gay, and the fact that Benedict and now Fran have been confirmed as bisexual if not homosexual lessens the probability that Eloise's narrative will be queered. Bridgerton creators do not care about true representation, they care about providing for a wide enough audience. That's why we only got canon queer characters (and queer sex) until the end of s3 - when people were already hooked. But they can only include so much before people are turned away. Think to yourself, why has there been no main dark-skinned, or truly plus-sized, or blemished, or disabled, or asexual, or poor, or effiminate man, or butch woman, or trans* love interest? It's because diversity and representation have limits.

Queer people deserve good representation, and we deserve for that representation to be narratively treated well. We do not deserve shock marketing or the ruining of hard built plot and characterization so that creators can win Diversity Bingo. (Likewise, this goes for racial diversity as well).

Forgotten Cressida

And lastly, and most shortly, what the fuck did they do with poor Cressida. I have never been more let down by the show than how they villanized, then sympathized with, and then shipped off Cressida to a doom of her worst nightmares when her storyline could have genuinely be salvaged by inhabiting the Whistledown role - being an outcast, but a respected one that is still flits about society - or by allying herself more with Eloise and leaning on her for support. But no. She is forgotten by society, by her family, and the only person she has ever called a friend, who was in the perfect position to be a queer provider for her. That shit hurted.

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

Another Vox enthusiasts I see? Well if I may...

Vox with a GN Hacker reader who was turned entirely digital after manifesting in hell. They don’t even have a physical form they’re completely stuck within Hell’s databases, their skills are obviously useful to him so he offers them a place on the team which they immediately accept on the condition that Vox makes them a vessel to inhabit because holy shit are they going stir crazy.

I’m not entirely sure how Vox’s abilities work but given he can at the very least project himself onto screens and the like I get the feeling that he’d plug himself into the system whenever they talk. Mostly because it keeps them grounded, they’re alot calmer when he’s actually next to them and not looking in through a screen.

I hope this didn’t get too wordy or long I just wanted to be thorough because I have massive brain rot for this techno mf-

Take your time with this request! Kisses darling <3

-📽

Dude, does anyone else remember having Shimeji's or that internet episode from Fairly Odd Parents? Cause that's what I'm about to write!

Digital Pet [Vox x Digital Reader]

When you first manifested in Hell, you were completely unaware that you had ended up in Hell itself. Because instead of manifesting in the overcrowded circle designated for sinners, you instead found yourself in a digital landscape. Countless screens surrounded you like a million portals. You could see the different shapes and sizes of the devices being used in hell and could even alter whether or not you saw what was being displayed on the screen or what the screen could see itself like a window to Hell.

At first, you had a massive meltdown. From what you could tell, you were the only one in this digital Hell custom-tailored to leave you isolated despite having access to every device in Hell. You wondered what you did to deserve the extra punishment layered on top of not being good enough for heaven, especially since you hadn't done anything particularly evil when you were alive.

You lost track of how much time passed. You entertained yourself by jumping from system to system. You'd watch shows that sinners binged, and you'd watch the city from large advertisement screens that overlooked the sinner's circle of Hell. Anything to stave off the loneliness.

One day, that all changed when you felt an electric buzz make the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You heard the voice of someone swearing and immediately pulled yourself away from the screen you had been sticking your nose into. When you turned, you saw another demon who was still sparking with some bright electric energy as he dusted himself off.

For a moment the two of you just stared at each other in shock. As far as you and Vox knew, you were the only ones who could access the digital realm of Hell's database. Vox is immediately wary, but you are thrilled as you approach him quickly.

"H-Hi, oh my god!" you breathe as you look him over. He didn't look new to Hell, but you had never seen anyone else in the same pocket of space as you before. "Did you just die? Have you seen anyone else? Did you just get here? It's been so long since I saw another person that wasn't on a screen!"

Vox blinked as you rapid-fired questions at him. He looked you over as you rambled something about the irony of his face being a screen when he finally shook his head and held up a hand to stop you.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down," he started. "What are you talking about? How are you even here? No one else should be able to traverse through the database of Hell but me."

Vox's interest only grows as you explain your situation. "I see," he hummed as he looked you over with new intrigue. "I wonder if you have similar abilities to mine and just got caught in the in-between..."

It was easy enough for him to lure you into a deal. The sheer amount of panic you expressed when he pretended he was going to just leave you there was hilarious at the time. In exchange for you "surfing the web" for him, so to speak, he took you on as an apprentice of sorts. Vox trained your abilities and helped you hone your magic. While you had every hope of one day figuring out how to manifest in the physical realm the way he did, Vox cleverly avoided any pursuit of the possibility.

He liked having full power over you and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to grow attached. While you hadn't learned anything about manifesting physically, you had learned how to appear on his screens. He'd never admit it to you out loud, but he found the tiny image of you running around on his devices and talking with him to be pretty damn adorable.

Despite his manipulation, the two of you actually slowly became friends. He found himself genuinely proud of you whenever you popped up to show him something new you had learned. There was a weird warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when you would bounce with excitement at your new discoveries.

Sometimes you'd ask him to play a certain show or song for you. Even after you learned how to control inactive devices so you could look up anything you wanted, you still liked to ask him to play things for you just so you could watch them in his presence. You'd send memes to each other and Vox had to quickly excuse himself when you sent him a crudely drawn image of Alastor slipping on a banana peel while he was in the middle of giving a presentation at a meeting.

Vox was emotionally constipated, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell that the warm feeling in his chest was growing and he knew you were the source. He clutched his chest as he stepped into his lair and saw you sleeping on his desktop toolbar, waiting for him to come home after a long day at work. He had promised you that you'd watch the new episode of a show you'd been watching together, but his gameshow had run late.

He sits down with a sigh and traces over your sleeping form, feeling something twist inside of him as his claw only met with the cold, flat surface of a screen. He wondered what it would be like to hold you. To touch you. To have you in his arms while the two of you lay on the couch while you made him watch stupid shows instead of...

"Fuck," Vox whispered to himself as he pulled away from the innocent image of you. He clutched his face as he slumped forward in his chair. He had a decision to make.

And so do you, dear readers! I want to make a part two to this, the real question is:

[pix3lplays]

uwaaaa, thank you sm for doing my stellaron hunter!reader with the ranpo personality req <3

following the previous req, it'd be interesting to see the reader outsmart them since 'm sure they characters are not used to being outsmarted ! i.e. jing yuan and reader could be playing starchess and even with him known for stealing the pieces, reader ends up still winning somehow :0

it'd also be interesting to see sampo get a taste of his own medicine for once :^ and they're all smug about it too, they'd especially rub in the fact they've tricked him somehow.

maybe even include how they adore the praise when being tasked with something difficult by elio yet they succeed? (if they don't get the praise they start huffing and sighing more than usual heh)

the same characters from the previous req + sampo please !! cunning characters with a cunning reader ^^

thank you once more for the entertaining reads ! i especially enjoyed the chef!reader, it was funny hehe. i hope your day has been wonderful so far !

oh and ! if you take emoji anons, could i request to be known as 🍰 anon ? if not emoji's then being addressed as strawberry anon is fine !

Yes I will happily welcome you officially as 🍰 anon!!Thank you! Ooooh what a fun idea, I love it! You’re so kind, thank you so much, I’m glad you liked the chef!reader haha it was fun to write! Also thank you for submitting ideas such as the starchess and Elio thing, genuinely makes it easier for me to write when you guys give me specifics like that!

-Honkai Star Rail men with a cunning Stellaron Hunter!reader-

Jing Yuan: Once your relationship becomes official, he enjoys spending quiet time with you, such as whiling away the time in the gardens (that he snuck you into) playing board games. Jing Yuan isn’t used to losing at starchess. Yes, he’ll cheat at starchess even when he’s playing against you. You’re definitely aware he steals pieces when he plays with you. But that’s okay. It’s an added challenge. The look on his face when you got a checkmate on him…priceless. He was knocked off his balance, that’s for sure. “Now may I have my pieces back?” you ask, holding your hand out to him smugly, and you realize the sheer Amount of pieces he stole when he returns them to you. You beat him with nearly Half your pieces missing.

Blade: Blade isn’t really…good at giving you the praise you’re looking for after you complete a difficult mission from Elio. It makes you kinda pouty. But he tries anyways. Quick to give you a simple: “good job, welcome back,” but that’s about the extent of it. And Kafka and Silver Wolf don’t exactly hand you out praises either. Ah well, at least he tries to keep you happy. He’s a good boyfriend that way. And he really does respect your cunningness, you ARE super clever and you deserve more praise for it. He wishes he was better at it for your sake.

Dan Heng: definitely isn’t used to being outsmarted, but then you came along, and you were even able to beat him in a fight using your brains rather than your brawn. He knows he shouldn’t fall for you. But wow, you’re incredible. You’ve been in a relationship for a while when the second time you outsmart him comes around. You’re sent on a mission from Elio. To steal something from the Archives of the Astral Express. Easy enough to do given how personal you know Dan Heng. Oh you do feel a bit…bad betraying him. But he never catches you, and if he ever does figure out it was you, you have a feeling you can get him to forgive you.

Sampo Koski: is sly, clever…and definitely not used to being outsmarted, until you come into his life. He was happy to start a romantic relationship with you, but goodness you’re almost too smart for him. The first time you outsmarted him was when he tried to engage in his first shady business deal behind your back. You met him at the agreed upon meeting spot. He was Shocked, to say the least, you shouldn’t have known what he was doing, where he would be, or the fact that he always showed up 15 minutes early, just to be safe. But there you were! You said you didn’t care if he engaged in shady business deals, but he should at least tell you. And you kissed his cheek and left him alone after that. Leaving him standing there, completely dumbfounded that you could read him like a book.

[sinimake]

You've got drawing ideas cage fighting (fking love this new AU 😍🤩) and I'm sick and drowning in sick!Johnshi ideas so let me kick them out of my brain please.

So I get the feeling that both Kenshi and Johnny are horrible when they are sick bc they simply. Won't. Let themselves. Get taken care off. The bases are surprisingly similar and yet different.

Kenshi grew up with the idea that showing any sort of weakness is a no-no if you want to survive his (previous) world. So he will do whatever it takes to power through whatever nasty virus has taken over his body. Then this gets aggravated when he is freeing the Taira bc now it has become a "I can't rest yet" type of problem (cue to him collapsing more than once in the past). And there is also a bit of him not believing that he deserves the gentleness and love that is someone taking care of himself.

Johnny hides behind a shiny and loud wall of "THE Johnny Cage cannot get sick. I'm too good for that". But all this façade hides is his fear of his public persona cracking and him falling behind. He *needs* to get this shoot done, this premiere attended, this interview published bc otherwise people will forget him (feeling that was appeared when he started making a career of himself and then got worse pre MK1 events). There is also the fear of being considered a burden (something that his shitty father drilled into his brain and that sadly his mother couldn't fight since she was always so busy trying to raise her 2 sons and drag her useless husband).

And for the both of them there might also be something about not wanting others to pity them?

At the beginning of their relationship this whole thing becomes a bit of a friction point but after a couple of times they realize that letting themselves to be taken care of when sick is not shameful, doesn't make them weak or a burden and that they actually deserve that care and gentleness.

I'm sorry for taking so long to answer your submission bc i have been mulling about what more i can add.

You're SO RIGHT about everything.

Kenshi is a very duty bound person. The Kenshi who's seeking redemption serves people, his family and loved ones, and everything comes before his own needs and wants. Of course, he doesn't let himself rest when he's sick bc it is just trivial thing, a distraction. The way Kenshi just gives up when he loses his sight tells a lot about how he sees his worth bc if he can't fight to save his clan, then he's nothing. Furthermore, he feels that he's underserving of good things bc guilt™️ of his yakuza past.

On the other hand, Johnny is all about proving himself capable. In the entertainment industry, you must be always on you top shape, gotta give 110% all the time, or people will replace you with a blink of an eye. He doesn't do well when people point out his shortcomings, so he mask them and it is probably where his arrogant attitude roots from bc fake it till you make it right?

Johnny and Kenshi are both hypocrites because they want to take care of each other while not doing the same for themselves. Loving someone's uglies is easy when you truly love the person but letting yourself be loved? Being weak and vulnerable with the other? It is hard to unlearn all the ways that helped them survive the world but what's love if you if you can't be your true self.

[asexualbookbird]

It was not a great month for reading enjoyment. It did not start off strong, a book I was really looking forward to enjoying was boring as hell, and now my brain is too foggy to enjoy anything more complex I've been wanting to read. It WAS a good month in terms of volume, though. Two chonky books, and eight overall, if we care about those stats. Which I do a little bit. Numbers are arbitrary, but it does give me a sense of accomplishment when I read an 800 page book, I will not lie.

Eryie: Gryphon Insurrection by K Vale Nagle ⭐ - I'll admit, this is partially my fault. My brain skipped right over the Gryphon Insurrection part of the title, so I wasn't really expecting gryphon genocide, the children's novel. On top of that, it just wasn't well written! POV changes well over halfway through the book, no character is distinct, only thing it has going for it is it finally made me jump into Guardians of Ga'Hoole, but. uh. Well you'll see.

Dragon Pearl by Yoo Ha Lee ⭐⭐⭐- It was fine! Entertaining! I know YA and MG books don't have the luxury of going too deep into lore or anything, but it was really lacking here. She was sad about her brother being dead for like. One line. And then got over it. Kids deserve to read emotional depth! It was a cute adventure, but nothing I'd read again. It does make me more excited about Ninefox Gambit, though, because I can see the bones of good writing!

The Dragon of Jin-Sayeng by KS Villso ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Ow. What an end to a series. Everyone is awful, everyone sucks, except Khine, love of my life. It's always harder to talk about the books I like, but I did really enjoy this series. I'd like to reread it one day!

Legacy of Ash by Matthew Ward ⭐- I was sooooo looking forward to this. I even bought book two (at a secondhand shop thankfully) because I really thought I'd enjoy it. LOL. It took 800 pages to say nothing at all. It was long for the sake of being long. It was like four different plots trying to be one, and none of them really amounted to anything because the focus was so split. Really, similar problems as Priory, but at least that was gay.

The Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Kathryn Lasky (1-4) ⭐⭐⭐- Finally starting this series after a million years! It came highly recommended from many friends throughout my life, so I've naturally been putting it off. It's fine. I did really enjoy the first one, but reading more left me really picking it apart and it's a solid three stars for me. I think Animorphs is more well rounded, but it's still an entertaining series. My biggest gripe is the inconsistencies! Soren and crew decides to withhold information from the Guardians, and then the next book the Guardians have that information? And said they got it from the gang?? Not sure how th timeline works for Metal Beak to be Soren's brother when Metal Beak was supposed to be a Big Scary Enemy to all of owlkind. Thought it might be a Dread Pirate Robert's situation, but nope! Kludd has been the only Metal Beak! Kids deserve better lol I'll read what I have (eleven books) but probably nothing more than that.

I don't have reading plans or goals for February. I'm still sick, doing things is hard. I'm just trying to survive over here. If you have recommendations for easy to read silly books, I am all ears!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

The SM saga finally ended. The results aren’t too bad for Hybe huh BPP? They’re still have their shares and it looks like they got SM’s version of Weverse out of the deal? Which means 💰 💰 💰 i saw a lot of SM stans celebrating that hybe backed off and now they won’t be sending trucks to Hybe if something bad happens to the music or idols or management cuz that shit was peak kpop insanity and I was so embarrassed for them 🤣🤣 from what i know of kakao i’m gonna be tunning in to this new Kakao led SM and see the ripple of consequences this whole thing is gonna unfold in the months and years to come. I do wanna see lsm, his nephew and other people involved in corruption be dragged to jail though…

*

Ask 2: Thank god the Sm thing is finally over, I was getting so sick of the fanwars and people talking bs about shit they know nothing about. Idgaf about that drama and all I really wanna know is if the cops are finally investigating Lsm and putting his ass on jail and keeping him there????? Bcuz I just found out that he was convicted in the 2000s and just manage to wiggle out bcuz of his connections???? God let this kdrama end on a good note at least!!!!!!!!

***

Hi Anon(s),

Lol Anon in ask 2, what did you think the government/presidential pardon in the 2000s I kept mentioning was referring to? [Aside, in the last 4 months or so, I’ve started responding to Tumblr asks more on my phone and so it’s not as easy to constantly link in sources the way I used to do on my earlier posts. But I try to be as descriptive as possible so y’all can just google what I say to confirm. So in this case as an example, anyone can go to my earlier posts on the topic and google the claims there or google ‘Lee Sooman pardon 2007’ to get the backing source. ]

The first part of the play is over, that’s right. There’s still part 2 coming, but let’s talk about Part 1 first:

I underestimated HYBE. In hind sight, of course HYBE of all companies would know how acute the social and corporate governance risk is in SM. I mean, SM is one of the oldest entertainment companies in Korea and easily has the most atrocious record in terms of artist abuse and staff coercion, aside from the rampant embezzlement court cases at all levels of management, not just with Lee Sooman, over the last two decades. Fans of SM groups, industry officials, etc all looked the other way so long as the music and the money kept pumping out, despite embarrassing court cases every four years on average, but now the question remains what SM will look like now that the brains behind the operation, Lee Sooman, (if everyone from YYJ to the idols themselves e.g. Shinee and Red Velvet are to be believed), now that he has taken a step back for now.

(Personally, I hope they only go up from here. Those artists deserve so much better.)

Anyway even I who was initially skeptical, have to tip my hat to how brilliantly HYBE played this. Their downside had always been limited (the first obvious smart move), but instead of trying to outbid Kakao, Bang PD apparently went directly to the Institutional investors on SM’s book, convinced them to vote in HYBE’s favour, which would’ve meant Kakao overpaying for a stake with severely limited management control since HYBE would undercut it during the vote, and that is what then prompted Kakao to reach out to HYBE before the vote to make a deal. Now HYBE gets access to SM’s proprietary platforms, some access to their artist IP (though this is controlled by Kakao), can still act as a check on management decisions at SM, and still have a stake they can monetize for profit later. All without dealing with the headache of trying to oversee a governance overhaul at a company that has been anemic on basic corporate ethics for 20 years - which was my primary concern. Trying to do that would’ve been insanely expensive for HYBE, both fiscally and otherwise. Like they might as well set cash on fire. In my humble opinion.

As I mentioned in my last post on the topic, HYBE stuck to their past pattern of behaviour and didn’t overbid for SM but:

Fun fact: SM’s share price today is below HYBE’s tender offer price… down 20% only today, while Kakao’s new tender offer price is ~70% above their initial bid, 25% more than HYBE’s tender bid, and ~30% more than SM’s current share price… Even after amortizing and discounting the additional payments HYBE made to Lee Sooman to secure his stake, HYBE is sitting on hundreds of millions in profit that they can realize as soon as this year if Kakao seeks to buy HYBE’s stake or even some of it. And like I said earlier, with failed tender offers, excess returns typically trend to zero over one year (it’s already happening), so unless Kakao can leverage the SM deal into another business combination or listing this year, they are spectacularly screwed.

Like, y’all.

HYBE committed corporate murder.

But the Pink Bloods get the Happily Ever After they always wanted with Kakao a La Cinderella.

And Kakao likely will pursue another business combination. I mean, they’d be stupid not to.

Everybody’s happy. :)

*

Now, Part 2. There are still so many ways this can go and I still highlight the middle of May (end of Earnings season) as when we’ll have the best picture of what’s happening. HYBE can choose to keep their stake as is and watch from the inside how things progress at SM, with a say on how the company is managed; HYBE could reduce their stake and lose that privilege; or sell down and dip altogether. And there’s also how they use their access to SM artist IP and the platforms.

All this to say, fun times ahead.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow, if there's one piece of advice I can give to people who don't have special needs in school, it's that DO NOT under any circumstance, idek (???) apply to be a scribe/writer for a special accommodations kid just to solely get out of class.

I had this happen to me in year 11 or 12, when the public school I was at, as well as the nsw education board, were adamant that the ONLY way I was to ever sit my hsc (end of high school) exams and pass, was to have a scribe. and a scribe only since no one would take the time & effort to EVER read my OWN hand written responses if I chose to do them by handwriting only.... and also that the education board kept outright refusing my access to a laptop bc "exams are meant to be handwritten only!!!! this student obvs wants an easy way to do her exams and wants to cheat!!!!" and "obvs this student, her teachers, her GP and the occupational therapists we made her see..... are all lying that she kid NEEDS a laptop accommodation for her exams to let her have a chance of succeeding.... so instead, we'll give her depression and anxiety so bad that she won't bother studying, lol."

so the first couple of scribes i had were good, bc they were in the year below me, and so, didn't know me. they told me to take my time and breathe etc etc. all around being supportive. however, one girl who had volunteered to be my scribe was originally in my year, but forced to repeat bc she'd missed too much class or whatever. moreover, she never liked me bc of the ~stuck up catholic school bitch~ thing that some people still held against me even after I'd been there for a while and was nice to everyone.

but what did this girl's dislike of me lead her to say??? she demanded of me, for my ancient history or w/e the fuck exam she had to write for me, that: "can you just hurry the fuck up and get this done so I can GET TO LUNCH ON TIME???? bc I only signed up for this to get out of class and get extra lunch time if you're quick. its not my fault you're *the R word*."

like Sally. you full well know HSC exams are long. ancient history was 2 or 3 hrs, I can't remember now. of course you're going to miss lunch. why the fuck did you even bother signing up for this, if you actually D O N T want to help people, let alone help someone you don't like???? wow. what a kind soul you are, you dumb ass. I don't give a fuck if you want to miss class. you signed up to help, so get writing. you selfish ass bitch.

anyway, I took my precious, painstaking time in this exam mostly out of spite for this bitch, bc i didn't think she deserved to have lunch on time when she'd signed up to help people for the full exam time. and also for calling me the *R word*. like I get that. it was 2012/2013, and I'd had people call me it plenty at catholic school too, for being related to the special ed dept. but there was NO REASON to call me that right before my exam that you signed up to help me with.

as an aside, I was practically a low needs special needs student. all I wanted was a fucking laptop for my exams. but instead, I had to settle for this fucking cow, who actually didn't give a fuck if she made me fail or not.

anyway. my point is, if you sign up to help any type of special needs student at school or at uni, have some fucking empathy and patience for the other person. having a scribe should NEVER be an option in exams, in my opinion, because it's impossible to relate coherent thoughts under exams stress. or at least it is for me. and esp as someone who used to do writing as a hobby in high school, this was like purposely cutting off my arms, which I could ACTUALLY use and also the direct brain connection to: brain to arm, to hand and pen, to paper. I fucking L O A T H E D it so much, and esp in the case of this girl.

like yes I did end up getting a laptop, which ended up being pretty pointless anyway (diagrams in entertainment industry and biology and doing double the work for multiple choice).... but still. I have this experience buried in my brain whenever I think about how shit special accommodation organisation can be for exams for special ed kids. don't sign up if you don't actually WANT to help, and instead want to do it solely to get out of your classes and expect early and extra break times.

[kithtaehyung]

RYENNNNNN!!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKK

I’ve been MIA for like a week bc uni is so stressful but guess what I GOT MY LICENSE 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 but that’s just a little abt my life rn

THE APPLE DRABBLE????? AND PT.2????? OMGGGGGGGG idc what anyone says. They literally ooze love for each other like I just know everyone there can sense their chemistry for one another even if they don’t know what’s going on🥲. I love oc’s teasing of yoongi, their banter is so entertaining BLESS

Also pt.2????? Ok now don’t get me wrong, there was smut, BUT THE FLUFF???? YOON wanting oc to feed him and act all domestic even if they’re hidden away🥹🥹🥹, he’s only getting so much more comfortable w her and she obviously doesn’t know how to act.

HOW IS TAE ABLE TO ALWAYS SAVE THE DAY??? God bless him

The teasing in the haunted house😏😏😏😏 oc is getting sm more bolder w him and vice versa and it’s only gonna get better from here😭😭😭

These two drabbles are definitely my fav scenes of oc and yoongi

Also, I’m so happy you’re going to take a break after 3tan9. You deserve it sm <33333 being active quite literally everyday and maintaining a personal and social life is not easy, but ur a rockstar so ofc u can. And I think u literally don’t ever have to worry abt readers going away bc I think we’re all a family atp.

Ok that’s all I off the top of my head.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-🍒

ALSO???? HOW DO U FEEL ABT 3TAN BLOWING UP THE WAY IT DID. I remember reading the first 3tan and thinking it would be just a one shot, and then yeah you uploaded more bc of the demand, but now it’s literally the most important piece of yoongi literature 😂 I just wanna say I’ve been here from the beginning.

CHERRYYYYY CONGRATS ON THE LICENSE BABE🥳🥳 sending all my cheers (and energy for uni omg you got this!)

Glad you had some time to read the drabbles, as well! I love them so damn much and these were a joy to write. Fave scenes? Love the banter? The feelings and comforting energy surrounding them oh god I need a moment😭 Yoongi’s def getting more comfortable being himself around reader but that just spells trouble as much as comfort lmfao.. like he was even keeping himself in check in the haunted house so imagine what it would be like if he didn’t a ha ha🙃

Tae being best boy best friend best human ever. My god I will defend that man with everything I have istg..

But also thank you so much for the support and encouragement.. when you put it that way, no wonder my brain needs to rest! It was a tough decision to make and I still am kinda nervous about it, but messages like this certainly help. A ton. I’m glad you think of us as a family bc I do too🥺🍊

LOL oh goodness I’m so shy rn.. it’s strange bc I still feel like it’s just a part of my life, so I don’t see it as anything like,, groundbreaking. It’s just something I work on everyday and a piece of my heart that I wanna share with all of you. What I’m most thankful for is y’all honestly like,, the people I’ve met bc of words?? A story?? Y’all are gd angels and cool af. How fcking great is that?

Idk I just love this story, these characters are important to me, and I appreciate everyone that’s following along on their journey. That’s all I can say, really🥹

[ram-de]

i am shooting myself

in the foot. metaphorically. i don't know.

i have binge-watched three seasons of survivor. the show is unavailable in my country and it's a hassle to buy vpn and paramount+ and not to mention the currency conversion and all that stuff. and it's a pain watching with such slow speed. either way. i liked survivor a bit too much. i think in my head, maybe i'm thinking, oh, so that's what happens when people are interacting, socializing, scheming, doing, living. it's interesting. it's fun.

i looked for suggestion to which seasons is a-must, etc. etc. and reddit being reddit suggested i started to 1. mind you, there's 46 seasons going on. watching from s1 would be a slog. so fuck that.

season 7, pearl islands is the one i watched first. and my first impression is the charm of the show. i thought i wouldn't like it (since it's an old show, 2003, 4:3, etc.) but i liked it lots. the missions are simple, but the storyline are enchanting. i have people to roots for, twist to look forward, i think the biggest gimmick in this season is the outcast which is exciting, because what is better to root for than the underdogs? also morgan drake lost a lot of challenges early on it was painful to watch lol

season 28, cagayan aka brain vs brawn vs beauty. now here, i got introduced to lot of what would be the show's common features? flicks? stuff like hidden immunity idol, less focused on the survival challenges (compared to 7, i mean. they had to trade with the locals to get early stuff, does a lot more of fishing, less player that knows how the game works). and the premise, oh it's so good. grouping people based on their most distinct traits and have it like kinda influence them a bit. my favorite player would be spencer because he's nerdy cute and just how excited he was to play. his final speech when he was a jury later on, about respecting the game was +++. (he was later revealed to be anti vaccine which kinda disappoints and why i shouldn't look for the players actual life after show lol) i also like chaos kass a bit too much. the entertainment is abundant. i am having lots of fun and joy. deserved win for tony because how can you pull that off?

season 37, david vs goliath. now, this is what's recommended for the 'new era' of survivor. personally i didn't like it as much. the premise was ok. christian was a dork and i like him. the davids cast was ok. the goliaths are exhausting to watch. it felt like watching club of popular rich kids, too much flirting for my liking, it was also the first time i've heard of the term showmances. keep that away from me lol. surprisingly i loved when the tribe swaps. natalie / angelina's tribal council scene was so funny. christian's antics with the dudebros (brochacos), nick naming all his alliances. and alec. alec!! i was rooting for him!!!! i wanted both alec and christian in the final 4 at least so it bummed me so bad when he was eliminated. at that point i wasn't feeling watching the show for the rest of them. christian felt too much like a threat. and when he was eliminated, i don't even felt like continuing. then i've read some discussion post and found out alec won't even be in the final because of some nda stuff. no!!!!! so i haven't watched the final. rip.

i wanted to write about how watching survivor is another distraction and it's running out as well. and how it's a subtle reminder of people with lives and jobs. meanwhile i'm doing nothing just entertaining myself alone in front of the screen for three? four days straight. it's pathetic and miserable. it's turning into a vent blog. damn it. i'm just. i felt like i'm my biggest enemy right now. i'm the biggest hindrance to my own progress and my own future. i don't know if i'm thinking straight. i haven't congratulated my sisters for delivering a baby... i've ignored my mom's messages. i've ignored academics works. this should have be a wake up call, but i don't feel like it. it's so easy for me to ignore everything, God. I'm not making good decisions. yet i don't feel the same guilt i used to have as before. when decisions doesn't feel like it have weights even when it should, how bad when the time comes that i'll break myself until i can't move forward any longer?

[bpdbaddies-blog]

i’ve never shared my writing before so enjoy.

my pov:

i feel like i’m buried in the depths of hell

you can’t physically see the pain that’s lurking inside

it’s taken a toll on me and all i feel is numb

let me give you a glimpse of my life

i do my best hoping to be enough

longing for acceptance of all that i am

constantly told you talk too much

you feel too deeply

you’re way too much

i either talk too much or not enough

i see everything in black and white, there’s no middle path

i don’t think people love me

they love the versions of me i’ve spun for them

the easy parts of me, the easy parts to love

ive spend my life trying to please others

i tried to be the person they all wanted

i gave up my spirit and begged for acceptance

my very existence depends on your acceptance

i’m at war with my own body, my thoughts tell me to hate myself

i cannot look in the mirror for i fear what my brain will tell me

i don’t know who i am anymore

i stare at myself like someone i’ve never met

i’m trying to shrink myself

trying to become smaller, quieter, less me

i don’t want to be too much for people

i want people to like me

i want to be cared for and valued

i crave touch yet i flinch every time someone is close

i want to be wanted

i don’t want to hurt anymore

i’ve sacrificed myself to make others happy

i forgive over and over again and have never learned to let go

i obsess too much and pick everything apart

“i’m just a tragedy and a pity case to them” says my brain

i always feel inadequate and a burden to others

chronically unsure about life

i constantly feel so unworthy

i feel as though my life isn’t worth living

i constantly seek validation from others because i need to feel worthy

i’ll hurt you before you hurt me

“burn the bridge while they’re still on it” says my brain

i’m paranoid everything is against me

i feel trapped in my own body

i feel like i’m in a cage and it’s so hard to grow

i hate everything i am, i’m rotting inside

memories constantly flooding back

i was ruined from such a young age

they were the start of all my problems

they injected me with self doubt

i met evil when i was only a child

i was only a jester for your entertainment

i learned to be afraid as a child

harsh words stripped me of my freedom

i was just a well trained mutt

i didn’t want to be controlled

i wanted to be a child

but i never got the chance to be one

no one asked me if i was okay

why didn’t anyone help me

i must’ve deserved it all

everyone just watched me drown

i was just a child, you robbed me of my childhood

i’m too young to have these scars

i’m no longer a whole person and i never will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

please tell me when i will heal from your pain

i’ll forever crave an apology

but i’ll never forget the way you hurt the child i was

i was given the grab bag of mental illnesses

i wake up everyday trying to be a new person

how can someone feel so much but feel so empty

how can emptiness be so heavy

how have i survived so long when i’m so violently self destructive

you have no idea of the pain that runs through my veins

i feel so unspeakably lonely

i can’t manage all these feelings

sadness feels like suicide

distance feels like abandonment

joy feels weird and unknown

i’ll never feel good enough not even for myself

my mood was good, even great then it fell

up and down up and down like a constant roller coaster

there’s a constant battle of sad empty rage inside

i can constantly hear my heart breaking

my soul is broken in parts i didn’t know could break

i’m lonely in places i didn’t know existed inside me

i have the constant urge to run away

but i have no where to go

i’m just so tired of fighting a never ending war

i feel like i was born with tragedy in my blood

the world has drained me of everything i am

i want to dissolve into nothingness

sometimes i think i would be better off dead

but there might be another way out

but i wouldn’t know because i’ve been buried alive

[tntky]

My fucked up week and low mental health

Hi and welcome back to this new episode of my life is a fucking mess.

Today we are going to talk about my fucked up week and low mental health. I just realized that I was going to be this aunt.

Ya'll know which one i'm  talking about: the single and alcohol aunt always portrayed in movies. Living her best life. I read something on the Internet about me being a young adult. I'm actually 24 and this means that I am only six years into adulthood, but considering that three of them occured during the Covid session, it means i'm approx a 3 yo adult. Hence, i'm legit to not having done nothing much for my age as compared to older generations so I get that I shouldn't be putting so much pressure on myself.

But at the same time I can't stop thinking about how difficult it's going to be to heal from all the shit I put myself through. Shit that I cannot blame anyone else but me. What I meant about this aunt with an unstable or even a nonexistent life is that i really see myself as growing up as one of them. But they're always characters that don't settle because somehow they're better off on their own and know that all they need to do to get their way through is to love yourself first and then to get what you deserve i.e. you know your worth and you'll settle for it.

Don't get me wrong. It totally makes sense but at the same time, self love and being independent simply  cannot just replace romantic love. And having to do all these independent girl shit on your own wjile wayching your younger siblings or even people you know getting engaged or into real relationship while you're out there faking it, it's not that fucking easy. 

I just crave being in in a romantic relationship so much like who wouldn'twant that?!  Probably a bunch of people... but as silly as it sounds:  I love love. if that makes sense... and I hate the fact that love is not enough! Love is not what it takes to get you places or make things work. Relationship requires commitment, communication, engagement and all these shits they don't talk enough about it movies. 

I'm not gonna start bragging about everything that happened this week that brought me to this thinking point. It's just that I've been having really sad thoughts lately, so lucky you here's an entry.

I just feel so fucking lonely right now. I wish I could have a friend to talk to, but I'm bad at socializing and I don't really have what you can call friends. In fact, I'm just good at pushing people away or using them when needed and that's why I consider myself as an unfriendable.  But sometimes I just miss the feeling of being understood, or being able to talk to someone

And friends are not that easy to find and require commitment to accept them with their flaws which I cannot do because I'm a way too judgemental bitch. Yeah, as I was saying life sucks or it's just mine. I know  I'm far from being healed and doubt that I will be ready soon enough to make new relationships but i jst feel like i'm getting old and the older i get, the lonelier i am.  And this entry is just about me realizing that healing is gonna be fucking painful and a long and lonely journey.

Anyway, I hope you're having a good day. or that you had a great week. And that I am at least keeping you entertained with this. See you in next episode of TNTKY and don't forget to come back to check for new articles ( i haven't figured out how this thing works)  about me and my sick brain.  K Bye.

[minjeonpark]

Morning Author-nim, wanted to drop by and leave a nice message ever since I found this story a month ago buttttt, in the mist of being hung in medical school at the moment, it totally slipped my mind… apologies for that. And before I share my appreciation words, I just wanna share the funny fact that I remember about my pending check up your story due to J-hope’s listening party 😂 a sudden memory of your OC character being behind the scenes of that party came to my mind and I was like ‘:0’ the realization of your story making me unconsciously imagine a girl and her service dog hiding in a corner trying not to get captured among all the lot of idols taking media pics was just funny to me and following that thought was the other; ‘oh she’s going to have a field day inserting her oc in this party’ 😂 though after realizing I had done that xD I just stood there and accepted the fact that, that’s totally not normal and it’s just a fake scenario created fresh out your story lol but I shrugged if off and said that it was okayyyy. In too, it only adds up to my hats off for you! Your story is a nice break from my constant need to use my brain between life and its busyness. It’s very easy to picture when you reading your writing so definitely something I think you should know and be happy with. Over all, finding your story has been fun! The characters being added at their pace, and getting to know them as the story goes is right on the target for a good story, and Instead of overwhelmingly dropping characters and their stories at once, you’ve paced the OC’s stories and all the other characters around her as the story develops, which in my opinion is refreshing to read. Although if I must be honest… I only wish I would’ve found it more later so I would’ve had a chance to read more 😂 but that’s just me being greedy so let me stop and finish. In all for the end, keep doing what you like, if that includes this story, even better. Thanks for the entertainment and break you’ve brought me, I hope you good health and good times. Ps (make JK suffer a little longer with Mika, he deserves to feel how frustratingly attractive someone can be. Cough cough** him) I’ll talk about Mika’s pretty a55 another time. Good day!

Hello, thank you for dropping by🤭😊I wish you all the best in your studies!

The image of Mika and Garam hiding among the crowd of idols and celebrities is really funny specially if you remember how GOOD the alcohol was at that party👀 (did we all watch the same insta stories cause wow) and the fact that Mika doesn't drink AND is always scrambling to hide.

Yes, I will have a field day writing that scene. Please wait for it anxiously 🤭😂. (Might be awhile till we reach it tho)

My writing style gives me a lot of doubts sometimes - - whether I'm writing a scene with enough details or if it's understandable. So knowing that you guys love it and have no trouble picturing it all makes me really relevied and excited and happy. Thank you so much, I hope you have a lovely week ahead💜

PS: JK will suffer a tad bit more😬🤭

[spitdrunken]

how bout ingo getting caught while jerkin off to you O_O

notes: a poor guy being unbearably horny <3

Ingo feels rather terrible.

While he does spend most of his time in Jubilife Village at this point, he needs to return to his Lady Sneasler regularly. To check up on the area. That’s a warden’s job, and he takes any task given to him seriously. You'd offered to take accompany him back to Mount Coronet. He knows he should've denied you, that it was a disaster waiting to happen, but... Ingo wished for your company, for you to board together. He always does, really. After spending so much time together, he wonders if you’ve figured him out, however, he knows his expressions can be inscrutable.

He reigned in his logic, denied that this would be anything except safe boarding, and told you he'd be grateful for your company. His worries were true, though. You walk close next to him, your scent clouding his mind (which, in all honesty, might all be in his head), your hand brushing against his and setting his skin alight. It’s enough already for his brain to wander into worse territory. Your presence is unbearable in the best way possible. His pace falls behind yours as he frets, and his eyes lower just a little too much. It’s just a little glance, but- Ah, he truly is hopeless, isn't he? You deserve better. Not a man with half a memory, half a soul. Someone with more decency, too.

“You alright, Ingo?” Your mere voice derails his heart, making it flutter in his chest. Especially when it’s his name rolling off your tongue. (And he tains every innocent action in equal measure. How would you whimper, how would you moan out his name instead?) “I don’t... Feel like you’re being your usual self, if that makes sense? You’re zoning out a lot. And-” You let out a slightly stilted laugh. “It’s like you’re looking straight through me.”

“Please excuse my behaviour, I never meant to cause you any concern!” He hugs his coat closer around his body, fingers fiddling with the frayed edges. “I will admit, though, that my mind has been getting off track lately. Would you mind taking a temporary stop here? Night is nearing either way, and we shouldn’t be caught outside.”

Your expression shifts into a soft smile. “Of course that’s fine. This is your trip. I’m just along for the ride! I’ll set everything up for you, don’t worry.” Your gaze wanders away from him, already looking around for a nice spot to put the tent. “I still have some food, but some sweet berries after would be nice... Think you can find some? Don’t push yourself, though.” He nods. Ingo feels a pang of guilt every time you insist he take it easy, but he can’t exactly tell you the truth behind his behaviour. 

This is the perfect escape he needed. If he had to share a tent to you, though he would never even entertain the thought of touching you without permission, it would be very awkward for him indeed. He needs to... Take some of the pressure off. It’s either this, or the real possibility of you noticing he’s hard half the time while talking to you. Ingo leans against a tree some ways away, semi-obscured with bushes surrounding him. Most importantly: It’s clear from all Pokemon. He thinks it’s far enough away from you, though he isn’t sure exactly how far he wandered.

Ingo doesn’t waste time, immediately fumbling pants and tugging off his underwear. They’re soaked with precum. Every brush of fabric agains this dick has him shuddering, and he hisses in relief as soon as he wraps his fist around his cock. Though he’s usually happy with his coat, he’s sweating so much underneath it right now. He can’t be bothered taking it off right now. His eyes squeezed shut, he imagines himself being anywhere but here. Images of you flood his mind, all it could be. You’re the only one he’s ever felt such strong desire for as long as he can remember, and he can only ask himself whether you’re the first or not.

(He wants to make you feel so good so badly. It wouldn’t even matter whether he got off himself, as long as he was touching you. Ingo wants to figure out what gets you the most excited, to leave you a shaking, shuddering mess. Have you ever done this before? He has no clue, he would never dare to ask, but imagining himself as your first gets to him, just a little. Exploring your body at the same pace, figuring things out together, wouldn’t that be wonderful? To guide you, gentle and slow, to have your eyes on him-Would you sit on his face if he asked...?)

Ingo’s so excited, his head so full, that he can’t focus on one fantasy or the other. They all flash through his mind. Your name is all that manages to slip from his lips, the only legible thing at least, the rest all moans and whines. If not closer to sobs. His hand is entirely slick with precum. He pretends it isn’t his palm, roughened and scarred, but they're yours- Ingo moans your name. Loud. Embarrassingly loud, even, and he stuffs his knuckles in his mouth, biting down. He's not going to last long.

There’s the rustling of bushes, and he freezes. Ingo can’t imagine a much worse fate than getting mauled by a Pokemon, dick still in hand. It’s worse. It’s you. You look so concerned. He’s curled up, so you can’t quite see what he’s doing- He probably looks like he’s in pain. His ears are ringing so loudly he can’t actually make out what you’re saying, but the ‘are you alright’ is obvious in the way your lips move. Had he been taking too long, had he been too loud?

Any other person would’ve been horrified and turned off. Ingo cums inside his fist right then and there, at the mere sight of you.

[love-toxin]

plagas; leon.

a/n: in the midst of some writer’s block i stumbled upon an old concept i never finished. enjoy some good ol’ plaga leon <3

warnings: parasitic possession, yandere leon, female reader, violence, blood, groping, leon’s teasing is just straight up bullying, pet names, almost noncon, slight boot kink, chasing. 

word count: 1.9k

“Leon..?”

The sun had set on your terrifying journey, and cast a shadow over the room you'd found yourself trapped inside. Not by locks this time, or villagers, or Saddler himself...but by the person you had trusted throughout this entire nightmare. The man that had saved your life stood between you and your only way out, and even then, you doubted that you'd be able to escape if you managed to slip past him. The road home was so long and the stifling, smothering Spanish heat had made way for a chilling cold that breezed through your body in the night and froze you to your spot.

And Leon was gone. His mind and body had succumbed to the disease he'd been injected with, the parasite that he'd protected you from...but instead of saving you, now all you felt was panic, fear, and dread when you looked into his eyes. 

“You can’t suck the poison out of this wound, sweetheart...but I won’t stop you if you wanna give it a try.” 

Leon took slow steps around you, his footsteps echoing in the marble hall of the castle as he eyed you up like you were his prey, while his fingers spasmed and twitched at his sides, like they were itching to either grab you or wrap themselves tightly around your throat. So much had happened since he'd rescued you from the farmhouse, and reassured you with infectious confidence that everything would be okay. It felt like a lifetime that you'd known him, even if in reality you'd only spent less than a day together--but running and hiding and waiting for Leon to dispatch any threats made the hours seem so long and torturous. You prayed for his safety at every turn, and felt terror grip your heart as you waited for him to come back and retrieve you from hiding…

And now you were here.

"Saddler wants me to kill you, you're not worth the hassle to him. But to me...you're my treasure. Mine." 

The way that word rolled off his tongue sounded like an echo in your brain. He said it once before, and it stuck with you awhile--but hearing him say it now was like having it permanently seared into your head. 

It wasn’t a secret anymore. You’d fallen in love with Leon, as so many had before. You fell for his confidence, his strength, his effortless teasing and sincere concern for your safety, and maybe it was all just backed by your appreciation for him saving your life and playing the hero so well. But even if it was temporary, you were in love and you wanted him to survive just as much as he wanted to save you, and even if he succeeded and brought you home just for you to never see each other again, there would always be a part of you that loved him, and you had accepted that fact. 

But things had changed. Seeing Leon no longer filled you with relief and happiness, that smug grin on his lips as he greeted you after fighting off monsters you could only imagine in nightmares. He took a step towards you, and this time you took a huge one back--and he chuckled, his tone dark and biting, before continuing on and piercing through you with blood-coloured irises. 

"I found you, I get to keep you. Finders keepers, huh sweetheart? That's fair, isn't it?"

His gaze held nothing less than a deep, ravenous hunger within him, the unsettling smirk on his face in no way easing that tension that weighed heavily on your mind. 

“Maybe I’m just a monster, now...if I am, then so be it. If being a monster means seeing that look on your face forever, then I gotta say, it feels pretty damn good!” 

"Y-You're not Leon!"

His shoulders suddenly tensed like he was about to lunge for you, but letting him have the upper hand would mean the end for you. You knew that fact so well that you acted on instinct, and unsheathed the knife whose handle you'd been stealthily gripping this whole time, to stab it into the eye of the man you wished you could have a life with. And you missed, the realization both relieving and terrifying, as the blade clanged and stuck into the wall behind him and barely clipped a few strands of his light-coloured hair. 

"Is this my knife? Now that's pretty cute,"

A shudder violently wracked your body as Leon's tongue slipped past his lips, and he turned his head to lick a slow stripe up the gleaming, bloodstained blade. He'd ended plenty of lives with that thing, but it seemed as though his own had yet to be one of them. 

"I've played the hero long enough. I want a reward for all my hard work...I want you."

His hand crept up your waist before you could react to it, rough fingers spreading warmth through your stomach as they grazed the exposed skin of your hip. But once you tried to break away from the touch you wished you didn't crave more of, his other hand shot out to grab you by the waist and keep you pressed uncomfortably close to his body, so close that your lips were mere centimeters from his neck and breathing in gave you a good whiff of that faint scent of cologne that still lingered on his skin. 

"Don't fight me, pet. I can already hear you crying for me to use you...you know, you're so cute when you're scared."

You squirmed even still, thrashing and shoving against his chest to try and find some way to twist out of his hold--but moving him was like trying to push a brick wall, and his grip on you got tighter and tighter until you whimpered with pain. The things he was saying just didn't make any sense, and you never wanted the real Leon more than you did in this moment. Knowing what it felt like to have his strength used against you instead of to protect you...it was becoming too much to bear, and in your terror you found comfort in Leon's touch again even if it was brief, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin and working to relax you enough that you weren't so tense. 

"You're gonna forget all about that fear when I'm balls deep inside you." 

What little comfort you found was gone once he whispered that into your ear. You felt your eyes widen and Leon's fingers worked their way under the waist of your shorts in a moment, the danger so imminent that your reaction ripped itself from your throat in a scream, and you returned to struggling against the unmistakable stiffness that dug into your inner thigh through his tight pants. 

"Leon, stop!"

You wailed, beating your fist against his chest and even catching him in the jaw, not that you really noticed in your frenzy nor did he react save for his brow furrowing in fury. It didn't last forever though, it was easy for him to use his leverage to shove you off, your back hitting the ground hard enough to sting while he loomed over you and watched with sick glee as you trembled too hard to get up. 

"You don't want me to stop. Be honest, doll." 

You weren't expecting this kind of violence from him, especially not when he brought his foot down right between your legs, as was evident by the way you shrieked and tears pricked at your eyes at once. Somehow he managed to aim the heel of his boot right at your clit, and you were certain now that it was by no way an accident by the way he ground into it in slow circles, and watched with a smirk as your hips shakily followed his rhythm of their own volition. 

"You want me to take everything from you, and I swear to you I will. I'll strip you of every inch of your pathetic life and make you mine." 

The pressure was starting to hurt, and your arms shot out to grab his calf and try in vain to wrench him off of your sensitive areas. It seemed to just entertain him, however, and his taunts were starting to sting your broken heart even more than any physical pain he had inflicted. Even worse was watching him lick his lips as he reveled in your suffering, and one of his hands descended beneath the belt of his trousers to stroke himself under the tent that was so clearly obvious. He loved watching you in pain, and nothing but rage bubbled up in your chest from the humiliation of loving somebody so depraved, even if he wasn't really Leon anymore. 

"I hate you,"

You muttered through gritted teeth, trying so hard to hold back your tears that your whole body was shaking. He let slip a soft moan as he twisted his grip on his cock, and didn't stop even as he focused those bloodred eyes on yours and growled in time with an especially rough tug. 

"Liar." 

Leon's grip fastened on your shoulder, but instead of pushing you back down to the filthy ground, he yanked you forwards and crushed your lips against his. Nothing but heat and the scent of blood overwhelmed your senses, your eyes fluttering closed when he started sucking on your lower lip and grazing it with his teeth. You wanted to hate the shivers that snaked up and down your spine from his kiss, but when it was from the man you still loved, it was difficult to brush those feelings aside. It wasn't impossible, however, because when he prodded past your lips with his tongue and moved in close enough for you to feel his cock twitching through his pants, panic flared up in your throat and you bit down on instinct, the coppery tang of his blood flooding your mouth at once. Leon shoved you off him much harder this time, but with the pain causing him to stagger you managed to scramble to your feet and back away a few steps to get some distance. But the fear of turning your back to him kept you frozen in place.

"You wanna be a brat, huh?"

Despite inflicting some much deserved pain, his glare barely wavered as he pulled his hand from his pants and wiped the blood that dribbled from his mouth, eyes gleaming with a lust for violence that you feared right now more than ever. 

"I'll let you have a ten second head start then, sweetheart. Better hurry."

You hesitated, his offer confusing you for a moment, but once the realization dawned on you your feet moved on their own. Sore and stained with tears and blood, you tore off down the castle corridors to search for an escape, and if not, then just a place for you to hide until Leon gave up on you, which would never happen. The thought of monsters barely dwelled in your mind when the most dangerous one was Leon himself, but little did you know that it would only take a short while for you to realize how fragile you really were when he wasn't protecting you, and that escaping without him was just simply not possible. 

"...Cheeky little slut. Let's just see how far you get before you come crawling back to me."

[yanderemommabean]

Could you do another yandere all smite purge one please?

“This is not a test “ Echoed through the empty streets as the final safety doors slammed shut, leaving poor souls who were too late in the open and in the vicious line of sight for those looking to hunt. “Your government is announcing the commencement of the lovesick purge. All participants must obey the rules given and indoctrinated-” the message drones on, turning to muffled booms as you rush through the alleyways and stomp through the puddles in your way.

God you hated this time of year. You were never prepared for it, never ready to handle the horrified screams and gunshots going off until morning rise. Praying never brought the sun up any faster but hey, it passed the time. This year you just wanted to hide away in your room like last time and blare music through your headphones, hiding in a cupboard or maybe that hallway closet. Last time it was kinda cozy.

You have to actually get home first, but why wouldn’t you? You knew your shortcuts, your danger zones, and how to fight dirty incase someone picked a fight. You’d like to think you could handle yourself.

You slide into another alley and catch your breath, watching as three people rush past and argue over where to go and what to do. You didn’t bother getting involved or helping, it was every man for himself and kindness could very well get you killed. You wait to see what happens to the three, and when nothing but silence follows, you try not to think about the outcome.

Cracking your neck, you take a breath and begin to run again, having just a few more blocks to “safety”. That being a building thats very easy to bust into and a door that could be broken by just a breath. But it was home, and home is where we subconsciously think no harm will come.

A large hand on your shoulder stops you dead in your tracks, yanking you back into the darkness of the alley. You begin to fight, kicking and biting while trying to escape the grip of your possible killer, your fists making little to no impact with every blow.

Well that’s embarrassing. You thought you were stronger than that.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m not gonna hurt you” the voice pacifies, a deep chuckle following as the male forces your arms behind your back. You recognized that voice, hearing it speak on the news and on social media constantly.

Not in a heroic manner, not in some savior like way. This man was the tormentor everyone feared. This was the infamous villain All Smite. The man who can kill without remorse and destroy with a smile on his face, has you in his grip for god knows what.

“Silent now? I pegged you as a screamer” he joked, watching you roll your eyes at the innuendo. “I don’t exactly know what to say. I know begging won’t do shit” you admit with a nervous swallow, trying to avoid pissing him off and making the situation worse. Panicking wouldn’t help, no matter how good of an idea your brain made it seem.

The bulking blond laughs, and presses his head against the nape of your neck as he tightens your bonds. “This is why I love you. You’re so calm and calculating yet shy and timid. Cute and sexy. Just my type”. Wait, wait, just his type? Wasn’t he tying you up to like, throw you in a river or something? Break your bones and take your money? No! No there’s no way in hell this man is your yandere! You weren’t even given a warning letter!

Then again you suppose he’s a villain, why would he go by the rules? You not knowing gave him a larger advantage on catching you. You shiver feeling his large hands roam over you, as if checking for weapons and hidden items, but also a cheap way to cop a feel. “P-Pervert” you bit out, knowing that no matter what you said, what you did, you’d only lose and be his entertainment. He loved it when his victims begged and sobbed.

You wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

All Smite gently lifts you, cradling you as he begins walking down the street with bravado. Dude always has to put on a show. “You’re just going to kill me after this aren’t you? Hurt me, bruise me up, and slit my neck?” you asked bitterly, accepting your fate a bit faster than mentally healthy. Unless of course you were dead on the inside like the author.

All smite gave you an odd look. Brows furrowed in what you dare call concern, as if you were the one acting odd and dangerous. “I don’t think you fully grasp what’s occurring. You’re mine. Captured. My lover to be unless you escape the next purge. Bonded to me and me bonded to you”.

Yeah...ok you’re kidnapped. That should be sinking in, this shouldn’t be so casual, this shouldn't be so calm as it is. You just don't feel a fight in you. Almost like...like you wanted this to happen. Like you wanted to be caught and give up. You should be fighting more than this, tied up or not, but instead you’re empty and waiting for a fantasy that isn’t to come.

The villain gently brushes your hair away from your face, and sighs lovingly “You’ve been hurting for so long. You’ve been abandoned by those who are supposed to protect you, been cut by those who say they love you. You’re tired”.

“Shut up” you spit “You don’t know shit! You’re just playing mind games”.

He only gives a hum in response, opening the door to his hideout while you try to ignore the fact he hit some nerves. “I’ve watched you for a while, you know?” he plops you down on his couch, watching your eyes avert his gaze as he continues. “I’ve seen the hurt those people gave you. The condescending tones over your achievements, the scolding you when you finally come out of your shell, the audacity to belittle you when you’re doing your best and trying to survive and they only sit on their asses”.

You glare with tears in your eyes, spitting out bitterly “What’s your fucking point? What you-you wanna break me down and start from there?! See how deep those fucking scars go? Want me to tell you how they used to beat me-”

He hushes you softly, making you choke back a sob as he just holds your head in his large hands, wiping away your angry tears. “I want to be here for you. Help you heal yourself and show you that I can be the only person you need. A strong person like you deserves to be spoiled and worshipped. “ he kisses the top of your head, holding you as you shudder out more confused tears. Relief and grief, pain and soothing, it was so odd.

Could you really trust him? He’s probably just manipulating you for some sick game of his! “L-Like I can trust a single word from that snake like mouth” you meekly comment, fists clenching in their bindings as All Smite just continues to stroke your hair. “You can’t. Not yet. But I plan to prove that you can trust me, and plan to show you how devoted I am to you and our love”.

You squint in disbelief once again “I’m not in love with you”.

A wicked grin spreads on his face as he steals a quick kiss “You will be”

-Mommabean

[fairycosmos]

god do you also get scared when your parents are angry even though you're an adult?? i feel like crying and my heart goes crazy and i want to hide im terrified of their anger and i always seem to be the cause

hi yeah i totally know what you mean - i think a lot of ppl do, for those who were raised by fear, that's always going to be the go-to reaction unfortunately. so i like my dad, but i'm trying to get really good at talking to him in a way that doesn't set him off. i know if is say the slightly wrong thing at the slightly wrong time, esp if he's had smth to drink, it's going to end badly. so i've been trying to learn to not outwardly react or entertain it as much. but it's like navigating a landmine. i also feel like crying, and my heart goes mad and i feel kind of sick whenever i make a misstep, it's awful. i wanted to say that i know it's easy to internalise guilt and self-blame when this happens, but i think it's important to understand that they are the only people responsible for how they express their own anger. it's up to them to communicate like a mature human being, and if they refuse to even try, then you don't have to give their words any credence at all. it says everything about them and their own lack of emotional intelligence / empathy, and nothing about you. you're not the cause, you're just witnessing their bullshit.

they are are grown adults. nothing you ever do or say means that you deserve to feel so unsafe around people who are supposed to protect you, and be there for you and take care of you. yes, even if you're not a kid anymore. it's not right and it's not your fault, and it's not a sign that you're doing something wrong either. some people are just shitty individuals and even shittier parents, but that's never going to be on you. obviously, we can't just stop feeling scared, or simply "get over it" - especially when this response has been ingrained in us since childhood - it sounds like your parents have been putting you through a lot of crap for a long time, and your brain is acting intuitively based off of that mistreatment. i understand that that can take years to truly work through, maybe the entirety of our adult lives. these thinking patterns are burned into your mind + your core beliefs, which is partially what makes it all so fucking unfair, so painful and disorienting.  but we can start with grounding ourselves in reality via self compassion, we can start by reminding ourselves that it's not our job to make ourselves small to avoid our parent's toddler tantrums. we can start with emotionally or literally distancing ourselves from toxic individuals to preserve our own mental health, we can start with considering therapy or other avenues of support i.e a hotline or a support group - maybe that feels drastic to you, but i'm trying to get across how worrying this ask is and how much you deserve to feel listened to, to feel like you have options beyond it. because you do, even if they take a while to open up to you fully. anyway, i won't ramble for too long but just know i completely get where you're coming from, and i'd fucking eat ur parents alive if i could. if you need a friend or anything, don't hesitate to say hi in the inbox, i'll be willing to lend an ear. ur absolutely not alone. sending you a huge hug. please take care of yourself and fuck the rest! x