#i deserve better we all deserve better
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Send me asks, my brain is garbage tonight.
#sometimes i feel like a failure at everything i have tried or wanted#but like#years of working on this have reduced that feeling a lot#now i correctly attribute that misery to living in a country that actively wants me to die because I am disabled/trans/fat/neurodivergent#and in a way that's so much worse because i could always push myself to succeed or change even if that was futile#but this place ain't gonna change enough to save me and i'll always need to beg for help#so i'm like trapped? knowing i have value that will never be seen clearly enough to be safe and it makes me...tired#i just surf from incident to incident without much good stuff in between and sometimes it feels...not pointless...i do like being alive...#but it feels like i have all this stuff to offer the world and no way to do it because i'm too crushed down to do much of anything#i can't even always safely access effective medications#or afford to move out of this place#idk i know this is depressing i just#we had to buy clothes for boyfriend's new job and now i don't think we can afford to buy meds that are not covered by insurance#and i am tired of ending up here every single month#i deserve better we all deserve better
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Imo the best ending to Supernatural would have been to just stop with them alive on a random hunt or them finding jobs and living the life they just wanted or whatever.
And then the story just fucking STOP, because Chuck is not here anymore, so they are no longer part of a story they are finally free. And we could still write and read fanfic about how they live after they won.
#they should have just STOP before fucking killing them all#that might have stopped the story with no possibility for a revival#so I'm not sure#but I would be fine not having any revival if the end was satisfying enough#it would still be better than what we had anyway#an open ending would have been better#because they would be ALIVE and FREE#they deserved to be happy#spn#supernatural#spn 15x20#Carry On#there's no carrying on when everyone is fucking dead#don't mind me#I'm still bitter about that ending#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#jack kline#eileen leahy#destiel#deancas#saileen#if you don't ship those no hate please#my random thoughts about spn
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hey everyone - i know there’s a lot going on in the world right now, a lot of causes that need support and visibility now more than ever.
i’d like to take an opportunity to highlight a cause that’s very literally close to home for me: i live very, very close to springfield, ohio. the haitian community there has always needed help and support but now, with white supremacist rhetoric and bold faced lies being circulated nationally, with threats of violence and heightened ignorance being more common than ever, they need it perhaps more than they ever have.
there has been a lot of hate since trump and his little bootlicker attack dog jd vance have started this shit, but there’s also been an outpouring of love and community outreach in the weeks since springfield was thrust into the worst kind of spotlight.
the hatian community support and help center has been invaluable in helping hatian refugees get what they need to start a new life here. they are headed by a team of haitian immigrants that are personally familiar with what their fellow immigrants need. they have been instrumental in keeping their community from falling through the cracks.
i’m humbly asking, if any of you can - please, please consider donating to the HCSHC. every bit helps. and if you can’t donate, please, please share this around. if you’ve ever reblogged one of my posts or found them funny, if you’ve ever scrolled through and liked and reblogged what i’ve put here, i implore you to share this too. this is a very personal cause for me; i want to see these people who are new here, who enrich our community but are met with too much derision and spite, receive the help, respect, and dignity they deserve.
#haiti#springfield#donate#signal boost#yes i’m tagging that stuff because i’m hoping it helps#i’m so serious when i say this is personal for me.#springfield and the cities/towns surrounding it have all felt the heavy gaze of the nation resting on us#there’s been both so much hope and love but also so much hate and violence#it’s been. emotional. i can’t imagine what it’s like being a haitian refugee here right now#please please give if you can. they need our help and deserve our time and respect.#fleeing violence and fear just to be thrown into a different kind of violence and fear…#no one deserves that. we can better better than that.
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Safe & Sound 💙
I just really wanted someone to give Echo a blanket so why not let it be Rex
Closeups T-T:
Bonus Doodle:
#swaddle him with love#star wars#captain rex#arc trooper echo#echo tbb#echo tcw#the clone wars#fanart#artists on tumblr#2024#yes those are tears in his eyes i liKED the detail#next time i draw the Marauder it will be in spot with better ref;-;#this came to me in a dream#drawing all his ports and wires made me cry a little ngl#but i had to focus on the goal#which is echo getting the blanket he deserved#rex has gotta help him cuz he's just got the one hand ;;#i wanted Rex's experession to be struggling to stay controlled#we all know how much having Echo alive means to him#but he's gotta keep it together cuz he's Rex and thats how he is#but in the knit of his eyebrows and his smile i wanted there to be something underneath#i hope i got that across#for Echo I was channeling the awkward charm of his headache line#and chibis are all in good fun#shhh if u saw me post this early no u didnt
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tbh as much as i do think it is worthwhile to discuss the topic of shipping aromantic/asexual characters and the nuances of it all (as well as the general attitude allos have towards aspecs in fandom spaces). it also makes me sigh equally because like... what characters. i'll be real guys we don't even have characters to discourse over. literally there are like 3 ever and none of those have fandoms anyway and the ones which do are like 'it was confirmed on twitter in a nebulously worded post by the creator'. its so bad out here
#aromantic#asexual#re my prev post#i pray 4 the day that i can discourse over aro character shipping without it all feeling a bit pointless because its not even confirmed to#be Real. whatever#aroace#aspec#honestly i totally get why its natural to feel so protective of those half confirmed aspec characters though. because we literally get#so little that anything has to be a Win. but we should not be living like this... we deserve better... guys...#mossy posts
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it actually really bothers me how it was always “daniel to red bull” now it’s “liam to red bull” but it’s never once been “yuki to red bull” when he’s been driving the life out of that car for years
#we all know the reasons but i just fucking hate it so much#he deserves so much better than he receives
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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So… how we feeling about these new names?
#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#aai2#ace attorney posting#ace attorney series#sebastian debeste#yumihiko ichiyanagi#eustace winner#raymond shields#eddie fender#ace attorney shitpost#ace attorney miles edgeworth#this is a look into my brain over the past 20 hours#I’ve finally lost what few marbles I still had#I’m still reeling over the absolute horrendous choice that is. eustace. winner#I think I’ve invented a whole new stage of grief.#a part of my brain is hoping we can pull a Sonic movie and have it changed before September#because COME ON.#EUSTACE.#WINNER.#I quite like Verity Gavèlle - it’s a bit more subtle than Justine Courtney#and I was not expecting Eddie Fender at all but I can vibe with it#(though I definitely prefer Raymond Shields)#but my boy deserves better than EUSTACE. WINNER.#to all folks out there that share the name Eustace I’m sorry for what you’ve had to witness this week.
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I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.
#most of the time she's so fun and silly and happy#but every now and then she's like 'yeah i'm totally a princess! basically! don't question it!'#or 'cupid is it wrong that i want to be richer? aren't i pretty much a terrorist if i don't accept the life i'm born into?'#or 'i don't know what to do now that no big events are happening. what is my life without other people making it interesting?'#and then the plot moves on/inspires her to feel better but not stop lying/gives her a big event to get involved in#and i'm like 'GIRL. CAN WE UNPACK THAT?''#i do think shipping her with cupid is poetic as well as just nice and cute#cupid is all about love. if anyone could get it through blondie's head that she unconditionally deserves love attention and validation#no matter what background she's from or how interesting or trendy or 'just right' she or her content is#it would be her#blondie lockes#ever after high#eah
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what was the point of lila thinking home was a feeling she didn't deserve and could never earn until she found diego. what was the point of them finding deep, meaningful love in each other. what was the point of lila opening her heart and confessing that all she really wanted was a family with him.
what was the point of developing diego and lila over two seasons, creating such a beautiful, chaotic bond, just to destroy it for no reason.
#the umbrella academy#diego x lila#lila pitts#diego hargreeves#what was the point!!!!!!#isn't it great when there's no character resolution and everyone just gets erased from existence#instead of giving us emotional closure they just added more pain and trauma and called it a day#what was it all for exactly. to give the handler a peaceful happy life of all people#don't even get me started on the bracelet or that awful pointless love triangle#steve blackman is gross and so is the way he talks about lila like she's not even a character in her own right but just an afterthought#someone who was there to pair with five while diminishing all that she is#five needed a love story so they just shoved lila into that role as if she were some random accessory to five's story#rather than her own character with thoughts and feelings#a woman's entire character arc is ruined just to give a guy a love interest#i feel sick#i've already mentioned some of this on twitter but whatever#as you can probably guess i'm not going to gif this so-called new season#lila deserved better. diego deserved better. we deserved better
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What we (Guillermo) wanted:
What we (Guillermo) got:
#i was rooting for you#we were all rooting for you#oh baby you deserved so much better#and it looks like it didn't work#so maybe you'll get the homoerotic turning you deserve#it still really funny ngl#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits spoilers#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louistat
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something something ‘feminine’ female characters being deserving of all things good and righteous and holy because of them overcoming their suffering by working within the system that hurts them using their wiley feminine attributes and charm something something ‘masculine’ female characters being villainized for fighting outside the constraints of the system they’re still subjected to in a more hands on approach and being victims of similar if not the same circumstances as their ‘feminine’ female peers but it doesn’t count for some reason because they don’t suffer as prettily as their counterparts something something
#asoiaf#rhaenyra targaryen#daenerys targaryen#arya stark#lyanna stark#brienne of tarth#can we like. not do this shit ever again?#i *loathe* the feminine v masculine arguments#why are you appropriating harmful stereotypes onto women?#wack ass#women are women at the end of the day#whether they’re gnc or trans or any other label#all deserving of a better life#what’s not clicking
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Eyes down, Puce - you'll be their little birdie for the next fifty years.
#iwtv#iwtvs2#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#the vampire claudia#delainey hayles#iwtv fanart#my art#yk this is not my favorite piece ive done but i needed needed needed to draw something wrt these two scenes#EVERY SUNDAY ROLIN AND THE IWTV TEAM BEAT US ALL WITH HAMMERS and we welcome it. horrendous.#anyway claudia babygirl you deserve so much better and im very sorry you wont get it#iwtv 2x03
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god i wished i lived in the timeline where companies respected animation
#i hate the multiverse theory because that means there’s a version of me living her best life with all her cartoons still existing#watching the new owl house episode just makes me think of what we could’ve had#WE COULD’VE HAD A HUNTLOW CENTRIC EPISODE#rip to the owl house and all the other good animated shows that were either canceled too soon or snapped out of existence#tagging a shit ton of shoes that deserved better o7#the owl house#toh#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#infinity train#inside job#close enough#final space#ducktales#dead end netflix#dead end paranormal park#animation#cartoon#cartoons
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Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?
A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that
So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often
The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.
And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.
I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.
I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:
I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.
So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.
Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.
#hope#not news#life#life advice#growing up#teenagers#adulthood#adulting#hopepunk#hope posting#hopeposting#also feel free to put your age to help make things feel more concrete and real#and make it clear that “being an adult is good” isn't just limited to your early twenties#in fact it's often better after your early twenties#I'm around 30 personally#I hope this post sounds poetic rather than pretentious lol#that last bit in particular had me going “hmm is this too much”#but actually I think that we dismiss hope and happiness too often#hope deserves to not always have to be serious but I think hope also deserves all the seriousness and gravitas that we can give it
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Call me homophobic, but I don't actually think it's great representation to stick a complex, dynamic, newly-realized bisexual character permanently with a flat, boring, underdeveloped love interest just because that was the first guy who showed interest.
#in my hater era#like what you like#but goddamn#the argument that this is somehow outstanding queer representation is baffling#they have had 13 episodes to DO something with this character and they have chosen not to#no development anywhere#even though they literally brought him back so there is built-in background ripe for the picking#and yet#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#the saddest part is#i don't even hate him#he's not important enough to hate#there is just absolutely nothing to him#and that's sad because whether or not he was intended to be long-term or endgame#the writers are better than this and the character SHOULD have SOME development#like why are we all swooning over 911 shoehorning in a returning character to tell a bi buck story#but treating that character like the most expendable love interest in history#i don't like him but actually i think queer characters#and especially ones who are part of such a major later-in-life bisexual realization storyline for a beloved main#deserve a little more respect than what 911 has been giving him#anyway#might delete later i don't know#also i need to stop looking at the 911 subreddit#worst takes i've ever seen that place is a cesspool
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