#years of working on this have reduced that feeling a lot
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OH BOY MEET "THE CLEANER"
A Finding Frankie OC of mine that I've been brainstorming over for the past few days.
I really don't think I have the right style to draw this, but HAVE IT ANYWAYS
Character lore under the cut. IT'S A LOT AND IM PROUD OF IT
To not get murdered by the monsters, needs to look non-human as ordered by the "HUs"
Frankie = Frankie
TOFrankie = The Other Frankie
TFrankie = Toon Frankie
Henry = Henry Hotline
HUs = Higher-ups
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES:
*Human
*Age somewhere in late 40s
*Digigrade stilts, visible parts painted red.
*Body modified for 2 extra limbs that stretch coming out of back, but 1 is torn off and missing
*Original arms had been ripped off as some point and replaced with mechanical stretchy ones. Helps with cleaning.
*Red 3-clawed hands with strong grip strength
ROLE:
*Cleaner
*Cannot leave the complex
PERSONALITY:
*Unaffected by gore
*Oddly strong will to live
*Loves all living things looked down upon. Especially the rats.
*Values loyalty highly even if to a shitty company
CLOTHES:
*Full face mask, fastened with elastic straps
*Head covered with a black balaclava
*Dark green, baggy, boilersuit, heavily stained with dirt and blood, many rips that have been repaired with rough stitch work, the odd few holes patched with materials from contestants uniforms
MASK:
*Inspiration from Bumblebee Millipedes
*Mask completely covers up the cleaners voice by making fuzzy hissing sounds instead like a broken voice changer. Occasionally, some words can be understood
*Looks clean and well looked after, spare a few scuffs and scratches. Any cracks are glued back together
EXTRAS:
*Smells like bleach, rust, and blood
*Gait is stiff and awkward
*Loud metal squeaking, clicking, and thumping steps while walking due to the stilts.
*Voice is quiet, rough, slightly slurred, masculin, and with no defined accent
*Almost no response to pain
*No edible food on the premises, so has to make do with other means
*Main area of residence is around the incinerator
*The cleaning cupboards are the only places that feel safe enough to take off the mask and stilts and not be seen by anyone
RELATIONSHIPS
*Frankie is fond of the cleaner who is extremely wary of him despite this
*Frankie will occasionally "gift" the cleaner with kills and objects
*Hates the Noobnoobs because they make mess
*Only takes orders from TOFrankie and HUs
*Has no sadness over the deaths of many contestants, viewing it as a consequence of recklessness and stupidity
*Refuses to interact with the winning contestant for a long time, assuming they will die soon like the rest
*Keeps interactions with Henry at a minimum to reduce any negative response from TOFrankie
HISTORY
*Got the job back when the park was open and functional to the general public, a year or two before the private live streaming
*Bound by soul to the complex through a contract they signed just before the live streaming started
#finding frankie#finding frankie oc#original character#bumblebee millipede#digigrade#bruh#ive been brainstorming this character for a few days#honestly the most thought out character ive ever made#next to Ras one of my LBP OCs#who is nothing by comparison lol#also the oldest character ive made#I can't decided if The Cleaner is non-binary or male#ill have to decide that when i figure out the timeline better#Would be my first male character if it goes that way lol#or just stick with the no pronouns thing#and people can choose whatever they feel's fit#AAHAHAH#ITS MY TURN TO DO THE LONG OC RAMBLES SHADOW#Also the most traumatised character#Kiwi doesn't count because she kind of got her own separat character in SLBU#idk#being a persona of mine she's as traumatised as I am#which is mildly?#WOOO FOSTERCARE HAHAHDGDH#anyways#Millipede design go BRRRRRRR
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Portraiture;
Portraits of the Emperors, and what those portraits mean to them.
Portrait Three - Lizzie
Lizzie is older than written history itself. Granted, she spent hundreds of those years, maybe even millennia, at the bottom of the ocean, but that doesn't change the fact that she is irreversibly and unforgettably old.
They have archoelogists at the Crystal Cliffs, a whole array of wizards and not-wizards combing through libraries and ruins. Many things changed throughout the ancient histories of the land, things she knows from living through them and things she knows from reading the papers the Cliffs are always publishing. With such frantic enthusiasm, too. They ask her for clarification on Oceanic events, and she happily provides them. Lizzie is cited on thousands of journals and books, from anything from history to language to religion and mythology and magic and even biology, although that required a lot of weird poking on Gem's part.
But...
Her throat catches a little as she stares at the research that Gem is presenting too her. Or rather, the fresco.
A fresco that, with a little help from an ingenious magical theft from millennia go, went from ancient Pixandria to the primitive-Codlands to Mythland occupied Gilded Helianthia, then all the way into the heart of the modern Crystal Cliffs. She is sitting at one side, and on the other is Jimmy. Both of them are children. And in the middle of them both is... their mother.
Their mother died before they were born. Lizzie swallows. Hard. She supposes that the ancient worshippers who made this fresco- Gem tells her that they were a primitive but artistic and extensive civilisation on the shores of the Pixandrian desert- did not know that her mother was dead when they painted this. But then Gem is telling her something different-
"It was painted based on a prophecy, we think," Gem says, awe flooding every depth and tone of her voice. "Isn't it incredible? They were able to capture such a likeness of you and Jimmy before the two of you were even born!"
Lizzie stares at it. Her mother's artistic, horrifically monstrous form stares back. She's never thought about what her mother looked like- she's always been focused more on the fact that her mother was dead, her titanic godly form picked apart by sea creatures before she hatched. But she now realises that this is the only realistic recreation of her mother she has ever seen, not the flimsy carvings and sculptures that were clearly based on muses. And it is too damaged to know what her face looked like.
On the way home, it occurs to Lizzie that she has never, not once, had an official portrait made of herself. Oh, she's had portraits and paintings and frescos and mosaics and sculptures, half of which are accredited to Joel. But there are other artworks of her, who aren't as careful and adoring as Joel, and she begins to feel the overwhelming seep of panic that one day she might end up like her mother, reduced to artistic fragments and nothing else-
"Would you like to make an official painting of me?" Lizzie asks Joel tentatively.
It is the dead of Mezalean night when she asks this, and they are both awake. Joel blinks at her. He looks adorable like this, his pyjamas crumpled and hair smushed and eyes only half open. He's still half asleep, bless him.
"Already have," he hums, and then promptly curls up next to her and falls right back asleep. He's snoring before she can even count to five.
The next day, when he is actually awake, she asks him again. Joel says yes in a heartbeat, and then hesitates. He asks how large he can make it. Lizzie hesitates, because whilst she loves seeing Joel go nuts in his artwork, she would also like an official portrait to be a little, well, official, so she says big but not too big, symbolic but not too ladened with symbolism, creative but-
Joel has her stand in one of the collonaded towers that overlooks the ocean, and begins his painting. The canvas is portable (thank the gods, thank her Mother, actually) but still huge and large enough that he needs a stool to paint the top. What on Earth is he going to do with it?
Lizzie doesn't really need to stand for as long as she does, Joel tells her. He's painted and sculpted her face so many times that he could paint her face with his eyes closed. Her heart flutters a little at that, but she stands anyway, just so that he can get the shadows right, and then longer so he can get the fabric right, and then a little longer because she loves to see him work. The way his eyebrows furrow. The way he takes in each and every detail and recreates them with such mastery-
The finished product is... a masterpiece. Painted Lizzie is the exact height as Lizzie herself, wearing the exact clothing of that day. She is depicted in glory, standing over the magnificent ocean ("To signify how much you rule," Joel informs her) staring head-on into the viewer's eyes. Even the tiniest, tiniest details have been reproduced - a tiny flicker in her iris, the refraction of light off the carvings of the quartz floors, the tiny crinkle of her lip that she'd been unable to hold back as she watched him. She isn't the Ocean Queen, isn't the demi-god of the ocean, she's Lizzie.
No, it is almost scary how lifelike it is. Lizzie's breath is stolen in a heartbeat.
"Don't touch it!" Joel shrieks as she almost pokes her finger at it. She grins at him sheepishly. He starts to whine "It's oil paint- and the good oil paint too. The not-magic but crazy oil paints. Best I have. And I prepped the canvas with egg yolk too, so it's kind of-
Lizzie leans forward and kisses him. He kisses back. When he pulls away for hair, gasping, cheeks flushed, she kisses him all over - forehead, cheeks, nose, hairline-
"I love you," she whispers. The painting seems to ripple in the corner of her eye. She only has eyes for the artist.
-
Historians note: Ocean Queen Lizzie, prima et novissima (first and last) might be one of the oldest beings to ever exist. The first reference to her is in the prophecy of the blue axolotl, which is believed to have existed in oral tradition for millennia before any of the primitive cultures from the archaic-era. The first known image of her is The Goddess and Her Spawn a badly damaged fresco dating from dozens of thousands of years before the golden age and end of her reign, depicting her sitting next to her Mother, the ancient goddess of Old Deep Fear, and her brother, Codfather Jimmy, ruler of the Codlands prima et novissima (first and last). It was likely made by the first civilisations of the primitive, coast-dwelling pre-Pixandrians.
During her millennia-long reign (historians are unsure as to when her reign began, although it ended at the Rapture), the Ocean Queen had hundreds of thousands of artworks of her produced. Although her birth and ascendancy remain unclear, for this reason, she is the most well-documented being to ever exist. A substantial chunk of this artwork was produced by her husband, the Mad King Joel, (referred to as Joel of Mezalea by himself in his artistic depictions), and thus is extremely lifelike. The best-known painting of the Ocean Queen is uncreatively but accurately titled Official Portrait of Ocean Queen Lizzie by Her Husband, Joel of Mezalea. Despite her millennia-long reign over the Ocean Empire, the Ocean Queen only ever had one lover, Joel of Mezalea, who is the only artist to produce an "official" painting of her. Some minor damage was sustained after the Ocean Queens disappearance post-Rapture when the Mad King tried to burn it, but he reportedly "broke down in such a storm of tears that the palace flooded the warm mesa air became cold, and the hard clay and sand became grass and dirt. All fires were put out, and no fire would burn for a hundred years. The water never left." Although this is a dramatised account, the painting remains undamaged other than a singular, tiny burn in one corner, and some historians theorise that the Evermoor was situated on geologically altered borders of Mezalea.
Unlike a variety of pre-raptures which were rediscovered, this painting has been circulating the post-Rapture art world for millennia. It now sits in Kruoma National Museum alongside a large collection of Oceanic, Codish and Mezalean art.
#portraiture#fanfic#fanfiction#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#empires smp#esmp#jizzie#ha#shadowbeans#for the cowards out there#mcyt#ao3#archive of our own#esmp1#empires smp s1#empires smp fanfic#mcyt fanfic#empires smp fanfiction
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Send me asks, my brain is garbage tonight.
#sometimes i feel like a failure at everything i have tried or wanted#but like#years of working on this have reduced that feeling a lot#now i correctly attribute that misery to living in a country that actively wants me to die because I am disabled/trans/fat/neurodivergent#and in a way that's so much worse because i could always push myself to succeed or change even if that was futile#but this place ain't gonna change enough to save me and i'll always need to beg for help#so i'm like trapped? knowing i have value that will never be seen clearly enough to be safe and it makes me...tired#i just surf from incident to incident without much good stuff in between and sometimes it feels...not pointless...i do like being alive...#but it feels like i have all this stuff to offer the world and no way to do it because i'm too crushed down to do much of anything#i can't even always safely access effective medications#or afford to move out of this place#idk i know this is depressing i just#we had to buy clothes for boyfriend's new job and now i don't think we can afford to buy meds that are not covered by insurance#and i am tired of ending up here every single month#i deserve better we all deserve better
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Sometimes you just have to have a little cry in the middle of a bunch of 500 year-old books, and that's okay. I am telling myself it's okay.
#well. not all 500 year-old. but the oldest ones are#with the semester finishing up there's a grant ending at the historical medical library where i've been working#and they are having to reduce the number of student staff#i had a suspicion i was one of the people that wasn't getting asked to come back and. that appears to be true#and while i probably didn't do anything more wrong than anyone else and it almost certainly does come down to finances#it still feels bad#and i'm sad about it because i love it here#and like. it's okay. i'll be okay#i have another work study job in a different archive still#and with the research grant i got i'll still get to be in here a lot doing my own research#i am a stronger person than i used to be and i can take something like this a lot better than i would have when i was younger#but man. still need to have a cry about it
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"Why does everything need to be Gay now it's so shallow to make men attracted to each other when they could be Pure Platonic Friends -"
oops sorry I can't hear you over the sound of me Doing What I Want Forever because I have been watching movies, TV, and animation since the 80s and have watched enough shallow heterosexual romances that would have been stronger as mlm-wlw solidarity friendships to fill the space between stars in a galaxy
#also 1) friends can fuck each other so you're not safe especially since gay guys do this a lot#2) why can't there be a cast with MANY mlm characters where some are strictly friends and some are partners#(bc this is a real thing that happens in the real world shocker I know but sometimes friend groups have several mlm folks)#3) as an aromantic vaguely ace spec person I get the need for good platonic relationships#but uh queer people reading mlm romance into something (often based on their own experiences or representation needs)#that creators refuse to delve into#or god forbid writing it into their own work#IS NOT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM HERE#i can't believe it's the year of our lord 2024 and i am still seeing this thinly veiled homophobic take everywhere#2006 called and it wants its 'I don't wish evil on gays but i dont condone their gay stuff' attitude back#Also when I think about all the shows and movies that came from source material with wlw or mlm characters who were all but TOTALLY erased#Or I think about media about queer historical figures who were utterly straightwashed or had their queerness demonized#or reduced to a footnote or Non Controversial background noise#My rage about this increases like 10000 fold#Anyway TLDR ultimately I fall under the mlm umbrella and that's part of the reason I write the shit I do and I'm not the only one#And I write cheeky posts about it but I actually am genuinely disturbed sometimes at this sentiment#Because no one says it outright but there's this massive undercurrent of an assumption that we don't exist#And we don't create#And we don't create things FOR OURSELVES not even bc precisely because of all the times we were told#'Well that's not really marketable so if you want to see it maybe you should create it yourself'#I feel like I'm talking to a wall here DOES NO ONE ELSE GET ANGRY ABOUT THIS#LIKE HOMOPHOBIA ISN'T OVER YET#ESPECIALLY NOT FOR MLM PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CIS AND WHITE#Like stop calling sex and/or romance shallow when it's gay and SUSPICIOUSLY 0 OTHER TIMES oh my fucking god
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The data does not support the assumption that all burned out people can “recover.” And when we fully appreciate what burnout signals in the body, and where it comes from on a social, economic, and psychological level, it should become clear to us that there’s nothing beneficial in returning to an unsustainable status quo.
The term “burned out” is sometimes used to simply mean “stressed” or “tired,” and many organizations benefit from framing the condition in such light terms. Short-term, casual burnout (like you might get after one particularly stressful work deadline, or following final exams) has a positive prognosis: within three months of enjoying a reduced workload and increased time for rest and leisure, 80% of mildly burned-out workers are able to make a full return to their jobs.
But there’s a lot of unanswered questions lurking behind this happy statistic. For instance, how many workers in this economy actually have the ability to take three months off work to focus on burnout recovery? What happens if a mildly burnt-out person does not get that rest, and has to keep toiling away as more deadlines pile up? And what is the point of returning to work if the job is going to remain as grueling and uncontrollable as it was when it first burned the worker out?
Burnout that is not treated swiftly can become far more severe. Clinical psychologist and burnout expert Arno van Dam writes that when left unattended (or forcibly pushed through), mild burnout can metastasize into clinical burnout, which the International Classification of Diseases defines as feelings of energy depletion, increased mental distance, and a reduced sense of personal agency. Clinically burned-out people are not only tired, they also feel detached from other people and no longer in control of their lives, in other words.
Unfortunately, clinical burnout has quite a dismal trajectory. Multiple studies by van Dam and others have found that clinical burnout sufferers may require a year or more of rest following treatment before they can feel better, and that some of burnout’s lingering effects don’t go away easily, if at all.
In one study conducted by Anita Eskildsen, for example, burnout sufferers continued to show memory and processing speed declines one year after burnout. Their cognitive processing skills improved slightly since seeking treatment, but the experience of having been burnt out had still left them operating significantly below their non-burned-out peers or their prior self, with no signs of bouncing back.
It took two years for subjects in one of van Dam’s studies to return to “normal” levels of involvement and competence at work. following an incident of clinical burnout. However, even after a multi-year recovery period they still performed worse than the non-burned-out control group on a cognitive task designed to test their planning and preparation abilities. Though they no longer qualified as clinically burned out, former burnout sufferers still reported greater exhaustion, fatigue, depression, and distress than controls.
In his review of the scientific literature, van Dam reports that anywhere from 25% to 50% of clinical burnout sufferers do not make a full recovery even four years after their illness. Studies generally find that burnout sufferers make most of their mental and physical health gains in the first year after treatment, but continue to underperform on neuropsychological tests for many years afterward, compared to control subjects who were never burned out.
People who have experienced burnout report worse memories, slower reaction times, less attentiveness, lower motivation, greater exhaustion, reduced work capability, and more negative health symptoms, long after their period of overwork has stopped. It’s as if burnout sufferers have fallen off their previous life trajectory, and cannot ever climb fully back up.
And that’s just among the people who receive some kind of treatment for their burnout and have the opportunity to rest. I found one study that followed burned-out teachers for seven years and reported over 14% of them remained highly burnt-out the entire time. These teachers continued feeling depersonalized, emotionally drained, ineffective, dizzy, sick to their stomachs, and desperate to leave their jobs for the better part of a decade. But they kept working in spite of it (or more likely, from a lack of other options), lowering their odds of ever healing all the while.
Van Dam observes that clinical burnout patients tend to suffer from an excess of perseverance, rather than the opposite: “Patients with clinical burnout…report that they ignored stress symptoms for several years,” he writes. “Living a stressful life was a normal condition for them. Some were not even aware of the stressfulness of their lives, until they collapsed.”
Instead of seeking help for workplace problems or reducing their workload, as most people do, clinical burnout sufferers typically push themselves through unpleasant circumstances and avoid asking for help. They’re also less likely to give up when placed under frustrating circumstances, instead throttling the gas in hopes that their problems can be fixed with extra effort. They become hyperactive, unable to rest or enjoy holidays, their bodies wired to treat work as the solution to every problem. It is only after living at this unrelenting pace for years that they tumble into severe burnout.
Among both masked Autistics and overworked employees, the people most likely to reach catastrophic, body-breaking levels of burnout are the people most primed to ignore their own physical boundaries for as long as possible. Clinical burnout sufferers work far past the point that virtually anyone else would ask for help, take a break, or stop caring about their work.
And when viewed from this perspective, we can see burnout as the saving grace of the compulsive workaholic — and the path to liberation for the masked disabled person who has nearly killed themselves trying to pass as a diligent worker bee.
I wrote about the latest data on burnout "recovery," and the similarities and differences between Autistic burnout and conventional clinical burnout. The full piece is free to read or have narrated to you in the Substack app at drdevonprice.substack.com
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Sex Ed Time
ok I'm gonna tell you about some things that might happen if you are transitioning m->f. this is not a comprehensive list just my own experience, be sure to do your own research I just really wanted to voice how this affects me because I think open discussion about this type of stuff is just more helpful for everyone rather than keeping it private
BOOBS HURT WHEN THEY GROW
your sex drive (libido) will probably go down a lot
facial hair is very hard to get rid of
my go-to gender affirming clothing is high-waisted jeans. I suggest going to a goodwill or some sort of cheap store that lets you try on clothes to figure out what you like
muscle mass will go down, fat will be redistributed
boobs do all sorts of crazy stuff when you run / exercise
overtime your skin will get softer, you also might smell nicer, and I've been told it can thin body hair but I don't really see it all that much 🤷
your brain chemistry can change when you reduce testosterone and increase estrogen, there are lots of factors that contribute toward any changes to your personality, but hormones can have an impact as well. for me this is a good thing because I struggle with allowing myself to feel emotions sometimes, no matter how hard I tried I was never really able to get myself to cry. I've gotten closer to being able to cry since I started transitioning though and that makes me very happy
this is a slow process that can take several years, ultimately you're going to be in your body for several years regardless, so if this is something you want it's definitely something you should try to pursue if possible. the time will pass anyways, and it does feel nice to work towards something that can make you happier.
also this is very important, you don't need to do any sort of hormone replacement therapy in order to be trans. not everybody can access HRT, and for those who can access it, not everybody wants to take on all the changes that come with treatments. you don't have to chemically or physically change your body in any way in order to deserve respect
all right that's all I have for right now feel free to add anything in the comments, I would especially like to hear from trans men what your experiences have been, I think openly talking about these types of things can really help some people
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i am now entering finals mode so very sorry i’m gonna be dead for approximately 12 days
#apparently this also means listening to a lot of musicals#by which I mean hadestown. but alternating between the whole thing on shuffle and a playlist with a handful of songs + lorde for some reason#+ halo beyonce + cut to the feeling carly rae jepson + bad luck jhariah + representative everybody’s worried about owen#for some reason this specific combination is doing incredible things for my ability to concentrate on visually guided behaviour#post inspired by putting on exactly three songs from the lightning thief musical bc I was obsessed with it at the end of high school#but yeah I switched yesterday from being like okay just work a little every day and you’ll get there#to realising I have just over a week left and the anxiety kicking in full force so yeah turns out i still respond to stress#also pretty good at the final sprint before I do something but I think I can do this BECAUSE I’ve been trying to reduce stress and be kinder#so I am still gonna keep that up but. yeah I’m gonna be working a lot. let’s see if I can get half a year’s content covered in a week#I have faith I’m gonna kick these exam’s ass#anyway I should get lunch quick and head to the library. pray for me#luke.txt
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What happened to your Society6 store? It seems like there's a lot less designs available than there used to be. I was hoping to get some tapestries but everything is gone...
Wow! This ask made me go check out my Society6 shop — and you’re right, it’s pretty much all gone! So, here’s the story on that for anyone who hasn’t heard:
Society6 decided that their outsized profit from artists wasn’t cutting it — they now require artists to pay a monthly subscription for the privilege of letting Society6 profit off of them, while foisting additional shipping fees onto the artist and reducing their payments on top of that. I had heard some months back that they were planning to switch to a subscription model, and it looks like since I didn’t pay up, they permanently deleted everything except 10 random pieces of art from my shop. They did this without notifying me at all (classy!) after years of making tens of thousands of dollars off of my work — but weirdly, this is kind of a relief for me?
My cut of Society6 sales were already a laugh even before the proposed changes (I make more money from someone dropping like $20 at my personal print shop than I do from someone buying $100+ of my stuff from Society6) but the tapestries and blankets were so cool and I loved how much people enjoyed them, so I kept my art available there. They've deleted nearly all of my work now, so I'll go finish the job and close out my account for good.
Anyway, it’s disappointing, but Society6 has chosen to suck profoundly at this point in time. Totally scummy treatment of the artists whose work is the foundation of their entire business model. I’m lucky enough to have a supportive audience and never relied on Society6, but I feel badly for artists whose livelihoods have been impacted by this. (If you’re one of those artists, know this: you deserve better compensation for your hard work than what S6 is giving you!)
OK, with all that said — I’m bringin’ tapestries back, baby! They can’t keep this cowboy off the range! Right now I’ve ordered samples from some different places to compare quality, and once I’ve settled on a manufacturer I‘ll be making them available at my print shop. I’ll post on my socials when I’ve sorted it out!
#jentalk#society6#i mean it's now owned by a former Ticketmaster exec#shocker! hahaha#at least he's consistent about working in the 'extorting artists and their fans' field
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SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER
october 8th. tom — somno / free use kink.
KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. | 2024.
summary: tom riddle is a god at many things. you’ve never felt more alive than when you’ve reduced him to something lesser.
warnings: 18+, SMUT MDNI, free use, sleeping kink, a lot of reverence for more biblical tom riddle that i genuinely need to choke me unconscious, PIV, fingering, multiorgasm, overstim, slight bondage, dubcon but not really i mean this fic speaks for itself. tom is kinda soft here???? what happened to me??
Tom Riddle, you'd determined, was obsessive before he was anything else. You saw it long before you knew him—intimately, at least—his compulsions, the meticulous way in which he carved out his time, handpicking what fit his ambitions best before pouring himself into them until he was empty.
Tom never moved with half-measures, a man that brilliant does nothing halfhearted.
You didn't expect to become his fixation—didn't know what it meant to be seen by someone who never stopped searching—never stopped dissecting—until the moment when his eyes lingered just a second too long and his hands followed suit—the moment he taught you the meaning in the only way he knew how.
Benevolently.
Tom Riddles need is tempered but there's always something burning underneath, something that flickers to life when his breath catches against your neck—when his fingers trace delicate lines along your skin—something that feels a lot like a thank you. The magical world gave him power—dominion—but in you, he found control. The kind you give freely, without even knowing it, the kind that he takes with the same reverence in his hands he applies to everything he touches.
There’s always been a mutal give and take between you—one formed without words and you solemnize this unspoken vow because he leaves you no other choice.
And it's not by force, not by demand, but by the sheer intensity of his regard, that sacred hunger in the way he looks at you, like you were made for this. For him. To be unmade, piece by piece, worshipped in the ruins of what you once were and stitched back together by his grace alone. When he kneels at your feet after a day that's worn him thin, his eyes sharp with exhaustion— when he spreads you open as though you're a book of scripture, when his hands steady you and his mouth finds its way between your thighs—there's nothing left for you to do but hold onto him. Your fingers in his hair, letting him take—letting him consume you in ways only he can.
He is both salvation and sin. Saviour and ruin. You're not sure how it's possible but he ensures you believe it.
And it started with secret moments—stolen glances, brushes of fingers, impromptu study sessions. But it grew into something more, and then something more still, until one day he's slipping into your flat as though it's his own, finding you before you even realize he's there.
You'll be cooking dinner and without a word, he'll flick off the stove with a twitch of his fingers—a breath of magic—his appetite insatiable but not for any caloric substance. You pretend, for his sake, to be surprised by his power, the way he moves without moving, but he knows better now—knows that nothing he does surprises you anymore, not after the way he loosens the strings of your corset with just a blink, how his teeth scrape your ear in a smile as he works a spell between your thighs. Not after he waits until you're thoroughly ruined by his magic—malleable just the way he likes you before he's merciful, allowing you the honour of his touch—allowing himself the honour of breaking you further.
There's no shock left in it because you've already accepted that whatever you think he's capable of—there's more.
There will always be more with Tom—a knowledge that is a sweet, endless ache. He is reasoning made lucid. You could never define all that he is capable of.
And foolishly you thought after all these years you'd have come to understand him, but Tom Riddle is not easily deciphered—he's a mystery even to himself, a disposition of contradictions. He doesn't need to be understood; he only needs to feel as if he is, to which you do your best. But when you're finally asleep after a long day and feel the bed dipping behind you in the quiet hours—a large, rough hand grazing timidly up your thigh, comprehension of Tom Riddle becomes even more of a distant accomplishment.
There is no logic in him when it comes to you, just instinct. No explanations, just need.
Tom has always had his compulsions, but you are his favourite fixation, and so you give. There's hunger, and there's devotion. There's desire, and then there's worship. You let him choose which ones he wants from you.
On this night you stir, half-conscious yet not quite aware of what's happening as his fingers move slowly, finding the heat between your legs and spreading you gently. There's never any urgency in his movements, though the fervour is palpable—a kind of feverish desperation thrumming beneath the surface, a pulse you can feel in his flesh, in the way his breath catches as if this is the only way he knows how to breathe.
Perhaps the only certainty about Tom is that you know he wouldn't be here if it weren't a necessity.
And he does this often, though sometimes it's more—the plush of his lips, the slick slide of his tongue—but this time, he chooses to wake you to the steady push of his fingers inside you, two of them stretching you, deliberate in their rhythm, curling deep, coaxing you open. It's his mercy, his crafted version of tenderness—you know he could easily just cast a lubing charm and press right in—but he doesn’t. He paces, he savours.
It’s a patience he continually allows himself which you know he doesn't have to give.
And some nights, when you wake to his touch—he whispers for you to sleep, to let him have you quietly, other times he'll make it clear that's the last thing he wants.
Tonight—
You shift against him, instinct guiding your body, but he hushes you, gentle, soft—a tut of warning, a shushing breath against your ear. You don't know how long he's been inside you, how long his need has burned quietly beside you, but by the time you realize, it's the wet sounds, obscene, that draw you from the haze of sleep, drowning out the sharpness of his breath. You're half-gone, face pressed into the pillow, drooling— and your lips part on a moan that never fully forms.
When your hand reaches instinctively for his wrist, his growl curls low in your ear—
"Sleep," if the command was a weapon it'd be a feather—he casts a binding spell on your wrists, drawing them above your head. "I've got you."
You swallow another moan, throat dry, choking on air as you fight to rip free from whatever remnants of slumber you're clinging to. His fingers are slow, pumping in and out of you, dragging you deeper into his need—and you're shaking in a way that is as involuntary as it is habitual. You know from experience just how much he loves this— the way he reduces you to fragments, the way he breaks you apart until there's nothing left but the shattered pieces of your pleasure—the mess he can make of you in minutes, even absentmindedly.
He slips an arm under your head, pulling you closer, impossibly close. The room is dark, and though you can't see him, you imagine his face—the hunger in his eyes as his skin sticks to yours, the hard evidence of his need against your ass.
"T-Tom—" your voice stumbles, a choked whisper of his name. His hand curls over your mouth, silencing you.
"Quiet," he mutters. "It's just a dream."
His breath ghosts over your neck, and your back arches in response. Wherever he was earlier, he came back starving, and this is part of it—sometimes he wants you silent, sometimes he wants you loud. Tonight, he wants you like this.
"Stay still," he murmurs again, and you shudder, your climax pulled from the edges of sleep by the slow drag of his fingers inside you. "Just a dream..."
A dream, he says—somewhere inside you, buried under a fog of grog you know it isn't, and he knows you know, he's not trying to trick you but it's all part of the game—coaxing—the way he devours you a little more each time, not just physically but mentally too.
With your lips muffled by his hand and his fingers buried deep, you do what you always do—you let him.
"T-Tom—" you whimper through the cracks in his digits. Your body is soft, boneless, melting into his touch, aching for more. "Please—"
As much as he wants you quiet he wants his name broken in your mouth all the same. He rewards you with a bitten-off moan, a crack in his control, a slight hitch in his breath—you clench around his fingers and his palm tightens over your mouth just a little too hard before he realizes and eases up.
You did say Tom's need was tempered—but sometimes, there are exceptions.
"I said quiet." His hips rut against your ass, fingers slow dragging at your walls, scissoring in your slick. "Let me give you this."
You push back into him, desperate, needy. "But—"
"Take it." His fingers on your mouth slide past your lips and over your tongue, reaching toward the back of your throat. Tears spring to your eyes as you gag, the sound smothered by the moan you make as a spell, swirling and tightening, pulses against your clit. "With the way I'm going to fuck you, you need this...you'll thank me later for it..."
Tom doesn't waste words. His tone may be soft but it's also sharp, which tells you everything you need to know—that he's had a wretched day and you're the only thing that can make it better. That he's going to fuck out his frustrations on you.
You moan around his fingers at the thought.
"You'll want to be nice and stretched for me, won't you?" A statement, not a question. "You don't want it to hurt. You know I don't want to hurt you."
Though he'll deny it, he's not as emotionless or as lacking in empathy as he'd like to believe. It's one of the many things you've come to know about him—or should you say, one of the many things you've struggled to understand about him—but the way he says it, like he's reminding himself not to be cruel—it's all very Tom Riddle.
"I don't want to hurt you.." he repeats in a murmur, as if he's trying to convince himself. You can't speak, though you're not sure you could find the words even if you could; the only indication you give him that you understand—that you hear him—is the quiet whimper that slips past his fingers. "Just need you."
The spell on your clit is as overwhelming as the drag of his fingers against your walls and it's only moments until you're cumming hard around him and he's groaning hard in return—you know his eyes are closed and you know he's inhaling every single sound you make as though he could house them in his lungs. The darkness clings to you like a second skin but Tom clings to you worse—not relenting even as you're twitching and whimpering with aftershocks.
"There we go." You're squirming and Tom fucking loves it. "Good girl."
Overstimulation is charging in—you have no where to run from it. You bite down on his digits in your mouth and he punishes you by intensifying the spell on your clit. "T-Tom—Tom—"
All he offers is a shush. His fingers curl deep.
"I need...I need you...need this.." he's mumbling, mantra-like, almost like a prayer and perhaps that's the closest he's come to one. You can count on one hand the amount of times you've heard him say it but you know there's no one else he'd be saying it to—no one else he'd want to. "You know, I thought of this all day...having you, like this..."
You sob around his fingers in your mouth as he rips another climax from you—you think you're seeing stars and you know if you are, they were hung there by him.
"Couldn't focus.." his teeth find your jaw, just under your ear, biting just a little harder than he usually does. "No matter what I did, I just kept thinking of this...of you...of you like this for me.."
Tom Riddle is a greedy man—in all ways—but he's not only greedy in the way he takes from you, he's greedy in the way he gives to you too, and though he would never admit it—he'd rather die first—this moment feels as close to worship as he'll ever come.
As you said, there's reverence in everything he fucking touches—you know you're lucky you get to experience it.
"You have this effect." He swallows hard, you feel it against your shoulder. "You have this effect on me...I—I can't stop wanting you-“
—and he's just a man, after all. No matter how well versed in dark spells and manipulation, no matter how cold and calculating he's able to be, beneath it all he's so very mortal. He tells you he was never made for love but when he buries his face in your neck and talks this talk it sure feels like maybe he was.
And all it does is make you want him that much more—knowing that you do this to him—you make him weak. You make him want and need and yearn.
"I don't even know what you've done to me," his voice is destroyed—his thoughts cut off by the evidence of your desperation for him, the lewd sounds coming from your pussy as you suck on the fingers in your mouth. "Fuck, you're so wet."
You groan, helpless and needy as a whore. Tom digs his teeth into your shoulder. It's all too much. There are many ways to come apart and this is Tom's only true undoing—in the aftermath of the destruction he causes, and you are—his collateral.
"Fuck—oh, fuck—" you're garbling, the words don't sound like words. "T-Tom—"
You're not sure how long you've been awake or how many times you've cum—how much oxygen you've inhaled since this all started but the one certainty is that you know Tom has very little patience left—if any.
"Fuck." He shifts, grinding against you. "Can you take me? Can you take me right now?"
All you can do is nod—your eagerness evident in the pace of it—drool dribbling down your chin and instantly the spell fades from your clit, his fingers pull out of your cunt and he's lifting your thigh up toward your head, fingers still hooked in your mouth. There's a moment of movement—trousers and boxers pulled down and then he's there—thick and heavy and warm between your thighs. You tense.
You'll never get used to the size of him. His ego made flesh. Though perhaps the greatest pleasure is in knowing he'll never get used to you, either.
"Gonna—gonna fuck you." He mutters against your neck as he glides along your slit—you're soaked, slick coating your thighs and the sheets and him but it never matters much because it always stings when he takes you. Especially like this. "It won't be soft."
You moan and he finally pulls his fingers free from your mouth, dragging them down to your throat, nails against your skin that feel more like claws because for all the human Tom Riddle is he's just as much animal.
He's never known soft—only with you—but you wouldn't have him if not for all his jagged lines and sharp edges. You let him take.
"Please, Tom-" words fail you, they always do when he's like this. "Please, gods—fuck me-"
Tom growls and it vibrates up your spine. You rarely curse when you can help it—so when you do, when you can't do anything to stop the pathetic vulgarities—he likes it too goddamn much and you know he's going to give you what you want because you give him what he needs.
A mutual give and take, as all the best things are.
"No god could compare to me." He doesn't say it with arrogance, just with certainty, like a letter he's written a thousand times. Then, he's flipping you onto your stomach, wrists still bound above your head as he lines up and presses inside you—all at once, deep and full and breathtaking. "Oh, yes—"
You cry out but it's muffled by the pillow, your cunt trying hard to adjust to the stretch—Tom is never cruel, but he is brutal, and perhaps the two get confused. There is a difference, though you know he would prefer to remain ambivalent on his own harshness, it’s the only way he's managed to survive this long—but here, with you, he thinks he can allow for a bit of mercy.
And he gives it, in his own way, only because you gave it first. It's as close as he'll come to offering himself without asking anything in return. To you, it's still a pretty close second.
"I'm going to make you feel this," he murmurs, lips against your shoulder, teeth against skin and if you had any tears left, this would be when they fell. "You'll think of this all day tomorrow. You'll think of me all day tomorrow."
He pauses inside you—he's taking it slow and the implications of that fact are far out of reach right now.
"I'll think of you anyway, Tom," you grit through your teeth, voice cracking on his name as he pulls out—only halfway—ensuring you feel that emptiness before he presses back in. "I'm—ohh—a-always thinking of you."
He makes a sound, a broken sort of sound, the same one you've heard him make only a handful of times—a raw, vulnerable, almost pathetic sound and all it does is make you want him that much more. He's still moving too slow, too methodically, drawing pleasure out from deep under your skin.
You clench around him because you know he doesn't want you to—he warns you against it with a cervix-piercing thrust.
"You're always thinking of me." His hand snakes around your throat, his lips to your ear—"and are you proud of that?"
You know that's a loaded question, the answer to which he doesn't truly care to know. But it's one you'll answer truthfully, regardless—because you know it'll affect him either way.
You nod, just once—and the grip on your neck tightens, cutting off an almost sob. His hips piston faster now, as though you've chipped off another piece of his control.
"Proud enough, then," he growls, his pace unforgiving, and that's enough to tear another broken sound from you—from the both of you. His fingers twist painfully around your throat, digging into your skin like a man possessed, and you know that means he's done holding back. His mouth is next to your ear, you can feel his smirk. "M'sorry—I'm—sorry—"
He says he's sorry but you know he's not. Not with the way he's groaning into your ear, not with the way he's driving his cock fast and deep. He is a manmade monster and a self-made god trapped inside a mortal man who needs so much to feel human. He knows to be nothing but intense. It's a wonder how the three can exist in him all at once.
"T-tom-" your voice fractures around his name, the only word you know now. "F-fuck—s'deep—ohh-"
His teeth sink into your neck as he cranks your head back with a pull of your hair, bared teeth on preyish flesh and you hardly have time to worry how deep he might devour because you feel his magic on your clit and you see those stars again—distant yet creeping closer, drawn down to your orbit by his power alone.
"M'sorry—" he mutters again, as though he was saying it to your cervix. "Fuck—"
You scream out again as the spell on your clit swirls faster—the sensation unfathomable each and every time—he's fucking you so hard you're burning underneath him and though the pleasure is as white hot as the flames that now cover every inch of you, you don't fear burning as much as you fear it's passing.
He's a fire in your veins, in your blood, and if he stops now you'll die of the cold.
"So good for me," he says, as soft as he can muster for being so lustdrunk— "so—perfect. You're perfect."
Perfect. You whinge and squeeze your eyes shut—choking on your breath. The words are more painful than his thrusts because time and time again you’ve failed to decipher their meaning—you know he doesn't believe in perfection, the concept too weak and foolish for his sake—but he's said it before, always in times like this—you are perfect.
You're perfect under his hands. You're perfect when you shatter apart for him, in the darkness, under the light of those stars he dragged down for you.
"Ohh—fuck—Tom—" another climax wracks you, splitting you at the seams. "I'm—I'm—"
It feels like an earthquake and you're the epicenter, all the power and destruction Tom thrusts into you radiating from within you outward. His hand moves from your throat to your jaw, tilting your face back so he can kiss you, messily, open-mouthed and with teeth. But it's still a kiss. Something he rarely does.
"Yeah, yeah. Good—" he grunts into your mouth. "Mmfff—fuck—tight—“
A second later, he's cumming, a broken string of profanity tumbling from his chest into your mouth, release spilling deep inside you, warm and thick and he holds you tighter for it as you whimper and throb around him. Tom has always had his reservations. Always had his long list of fixations—and like you said, he pours himself empty into the ones he's chosen. It's in moments like these where you feel it more than ever—as his hips slow and his cock stops twitching inside you—the way that he's made you part of that list.
And when he's done moving through you—when he's done taking what he needs—he pulls away, yet he's still there. Freeing your wrists and rubbing them gently, curling you against him as you both descend.
"Thank you." He murmurs, face in your hair.
You tell him he doesn't need to thank you but you know it makes no difference. After all, he's still a man. A man with something to prove, even under a sky full of stars he dragged down for you.
Tom is a god at many things. You've never felt more alive than when you've reduced him to something lesser.
#SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER👻#kinktober 2024#kinktober#tom riddle#harry potter#tom riddle smut#tomriddle smut#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle x yn#tomriddlesmut#tom x reader#tom riddle x oc#tom riddle x reader#tom smut#tom riddle x you#tomriddle x you#tomriddle x reader#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys#slytherinboys#slytherin boy#slytherin#riddle x reader#riddle smut#riddle brothers#riddle
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Not even touching on the systemic discrimination of fat people with this one: I think a lot of thin people have yet to reflect on just how much stuff fat people get hate for. These are some things that get seen as - and frequently very explicitly described/presented as - disgusting or funny when fat people do it:
- walking
- running
- standing up
- sitting down
- any sport
- dancing
- expressing hunger
- eating
- breathing
- sweating
- showing skin
- adjusting clothing
- appearing in pictures or videos
- feeling romantic or sexual attraction
- acting on romantic or sexual attraction
- being the target of romantic or sexual attraction
And anecdotally I'd say it's worst among teenagers. Just. Please consider the work it takes to even feel like a person, when this much of your humanity is reduced to a punchline during your formative years. Almost every normal part of existing comes with a side of contempt. You don't get to count. You're continuously reminded of how uacceptable you are. I'm not saying every fat person experiences this, or to the exact same degree. Of course not. But many do, and none should. If you're someone who's made it through that, or you're living through it right now - you are so fucking strong.
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Heat Intolerance
This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".
And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.
What is heat intolerance?
Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.
Why is awareness important?
Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.
What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?
Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.
What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?
EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.
What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?
Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.
Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.
Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?
Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.
When should I do to the doctor?
If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.
This is good information and all but why are you making this post?
To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."
Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?
I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up
Shut the fuck up 😊
-fae
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izuku loves to talk about you during interviews
- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you
- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3
- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy
- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you
- it's like his whole is personality is HIS WIFE
- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭
- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1
"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"
"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"
"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"
"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."
"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"
"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."
"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"
"She is. She's wonderful."
"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"
"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."
"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"
"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."
(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"
"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."
"(sigh)"
"(smiling warmly)"
#w.midizu#izuku x reader#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x y/n#deku x you#izuku x you#bnha x reader#mha x reader#deku#izuku#izuku midoriya x reader#deku headcanons#izuku headcanons#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#mha izuku#bnha izuku#deku x fem!reader
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Just to be Sure
Your husband Joel is desperate to get you pregnant again.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
CW: Breeding kink smut. Joel really really REALLY wants to knock you up. Lots of pregnancy talk. Reader has given birth before and is at the age where she can give birth again so choose your own adventure for age gap but I picture them about the same age with Joel late 30s. Husband!Joel. No outbreak AU. Creampie. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only
Length: 1k
A/N: Forgive me for this. I am completely baked and couldn’t shake the thought of Joel having an insane breeding kink. I think if there was no outbreak and Joel found a woman, he’d be DESPERATE to knock her up over and over. He is all about his family, wants so many kids to look after, he’s always begging her for just one more. This is that Joel. He’s filthy. I love him. Also I wrote this in an hour and a half while on an edible and barely proofread it fuck if we ball also sorry I wrote it half on my phone in bed OK BYE LOVE YOU!
“Fuck, Joel…”
Your voice trailed off, weak and breathless, your hands grasping uselessly at the sheets around you.
You weren’t sure how long he’d had you here like this, sweating and fucked out as your husband slowly worked his cock in and out of you. You just knew you had to be quiet, that your one year old was asleep just a room away, a feat that was damn near impossible as Joel pulled yet another orgasm out of you.
“What, baby?” He panted over you, one hand gripping the headboard as he buried himself inside you yet again.
“You…” You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to focus. “You don’t have to get me pregnant to..to…tonight, you know…”
“Oh I know,” he said, his voice heavy with need and scratchy with exertion. “Wouldn’t mind tryin’ with you for a few months, fucking this pretty pussy full of me every damn night, comin’ so deep in you that you’ve got part of me in you all day every day.”
“Joel,” you whimpered, you couldn’t help it, your pussy drawing tight and hot around him.
“But, see, I’m not sure I can wait that long,” he said, pressing somehow deeper into you and holding himself there for a moment, making your cunt clench around him, your legs scrambling for purchase as your next orgasm built higher and higher. “Need to put another baby in you now, need to see your belly grow, need to fuck you until you’ve got part of me in you for damn near a year.”
“Oh fuck!”
You moaned it louder than you should have, Joel’s large hand going from propping him up to clamped over your mouth as your orgasm took you, the heat of it shooting out from your core and through your entire being, your heart racing, channel throbbing.
“Oh goddamn,” he groaned, fucking into you even harder now. “That’s right little mama, pull another baby out me, that’s it…”
“Joel, Joel, Joel,” you panted over and over again into his hand, mind reduced to nothing but your husband and how damn full he made you feel, especially with his bare cock buried deep inside of you.
It had been a year almost to the day that you’d last fucked without a condom. You’d been right at the end of your pregnancy, desperate for Joel and desperate for something - anything - to kick start your labor. The last time you hadn’t needed a condom, your contractions started 20 minutes after it ended.
Ever since, you’d been taking precautions. Not because you didn’t want another baby - you definitely did - but because you hadn’t gotten the OK from your doctor yet.
Today, that had changed. You’d gone to your check up and your doctor gave you a clean bill of health, including the OK to start trying to get pregnant again.
You’d figured Joel would want to get started trying that night. You just hadn’t counted on him pulling endless orgasms as a part of trying.
“Think you got one more in you, baby?” He asked, freeing your mouth to run his hand over your hair. You just whimpered. “M’close, wanna come with you. Come on, you can give me one more, know you can.”
You couldn’t find the words as he moved to suck your neck, so you just moaned and nodded and clawed his body closer and tighter to yours.
You could feel him smile against you then, the pace of his pounding cock picking up, the tip of him hitting the spot inside you he’d long ago claimed as his own perfectly with each stroke.
“Come on little mama,” he panted. “Takes better if you come with me, need you to fucking come baby, need to feel you fucking come when I make you pregnant.”
You weren’t sure Joel was fully aware of what he was saying but then, you felt like you were moving of your own accord, too, your hips rolling up against his, frantically pawing at him in a desperate attempt to pull him so close that it was like his whole being was inside you.
This orgasm claimed you quickly, going from starting to build to taking over you in a matter of seconds. You barely had a chance to warn Joel before it hit you.
"I'm gonna come," you managed just half a second before your channel started to fluffer around him. "Fuck, I'm coming! I'm coming!"
"Fuck, that's it," he said fucking into you with two more deep, devastating strokes before you could feel his cock throbbing heavily inside, the warm spread of his spend in your most intimate place drawing your orgasm out. "That's it, fuck, come while I put my baby in you."
His cock gave one final, heavy pulse before he collapsed on you, panting for breath as you went limp below him. Even as he lay there, damn near exhausted, he still managed to fuck his cock into you a few more times, driving his come even deeper.
When he was satisfied, he sat up from you and watched between your legs as he slowly, gently pulled his softening length from your aching, swollen sex.
“So damn pretty like this,” he said almost reverently. You felt the comforting warmth of his come drip out of you and then Joel’s finger was there, scooping it up and gently pushing it back inside your spent hole as it struggled to close after being opened by his thick cock for so long. “Gotta keep me deep inside her baby, s’where I belong.”
You just whimpered a little, still not positive you could form words as Joel lay beside you, his hand skimming slowly over your stomach down to the place that had grown your first daughter with Joel.
“Think our baby’s in there?” He asked softly, thumb brushing your skin in a gentle rhythm.
“I hope so,” you smiled at him.
“Don’t sound like you’re sure,” he smirked a little back. “Might just need to leave more of me in you, just to be sure.”
Your smile grew as his hand slipped lower.
“Just to be sure.”
#fanfic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x oc#smut fic#breeding kink fic#husband!joel miller
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SV AU where, while Luo Binghe is supposed to be in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu comes across a hellhound puppy.
Now, there is an arc in PIDW where Luo Binghe became a hellhound. But it happened like at least a century out from where they are in the timeline, after Binghe had come into his full demonic power, and involved him turning into a slavering beast that eventually become a slavering man-beast (werewolf, basically) who could only be cured by having a lot of very questionable sex with his wives. Shen Yuan wrote a rant about how yet another potentially interesting transformation arc was instead reduced to porn tropes, but it was one of several dozen such rants across many similar story arcs. Airplane barely even remembers writing it because he was having a pretty shit week and just wanted to get the chapters out.
So it doesn't really occur to either him or Shang Qinghua that finding a hellhound puppy might be suspicious. Unexpected, sure, but demons are turning up all over the place all the time, really. And it's years before Luo Binghe is even supposed to be out of the Abyss, like a century before his hellhound transformation story, and when Binghe did turn into a hellhound his two forms consisted of a fully-grown beast and a fully-grown man-beast. Not a puppy.
Of course: that hellhound puppy is definitely Luo Binghe.
He unwittingly triggered this subplot early, and because he's still a young adult, he gets stuck in a juvenile puppy form because hellhounds don't reach fully maturity until they're like fifty.
Anyway, this creates something of a pickle for Luo Binghe, because he's legitimately stuck in this form and can't figure out how to change back. This is not part of his plans. He's fleeing from Huan Hua Palace cultivators who are trying to kill him, which they might succeed at because his Heavenly Demon powers don't seem to be working.
He runs right into Shizun, who is on one of his "investigate stuff to forget the depression" field trips with Liu Qingge.
Luo Binghe is fully expecting his righteous Shizun to kill the demonic beast, and has a moment to think that at least that's better than being killed by Huan Hua, before Shizun rescues him instead.
Shen Qingqiu, meanwhile, is actually kind of excited. There was a lot of lore in PIDW about how hellhounds can actually make loyal companions if they're trained up from young enough of an age, but finding hellhound puppies would be difficult for anyone who wasn't a demonic nobleman, and most of the "trained" hellhounds just disappeared into the harem as gifts to various demon wives and were never seen or heard from again. No additional information, like the full extent of their abilities or what kind of companions they made beyond "loyal" or anything! A species of demon that could even potentially be domesticated by humans, and it was just left at that?!
Needless to say, Shen Qingqiu's not letting Huan Hua Palace kill this one. This is a rare chance for him to get a cool monster companion!
Although... such a creature might die when Luo Binghe comes to take his revenge.
Well, he'll deal with that when he has a chance. Maybe Shang Qinghua can take it to Mobei Jun or Shen Qingqiu can find another place for it before then. In the meanwhile, at least going back to Qing Jing Peak with him is better than being killed on the spot. He talks Liu Qingge into going along with it (Liu Qingge thinks he's insane but also folds like wet tissue paper), under stipulation that the hellhound's demonic energies are sealed and it gets muzzled before they bring it back with them.
Shen Qingqiu rides with it in a carriage, and feels so bad for the poor doggo looking miserable without his demon powers or even his mouth free that he secretly takes the muzzle back off while Liu Qingge isn't looking.
Luo Binghe is overwhelmed with the mixed sentiments of confusion (doesn't his shizun hate demons? is a Heavenly Demon really so especially repulsive to him?), happiness (he's going home! Shizun found him and is taking him home!), worry (Shizun please do not un-muzzle random demonic beasts just because they look sad!), and some rather embarrassing personal revelations about the appeal of being Shizun's pet. The latter situation worsens exponentially after the first time he gets good boy'd and petted for the first time.
Regardless, Shen Qingqiu does take him back to Qing Jing Peak and settles in to train and observe his new puppy. No one thinks this is precisely a good project but it is a project, and is not for instance "staring blankly into the distance while kneeling in front of a sword mound", so on balance everyone decides they'll just keep an eye on things and make sure the hellhound doesn't maul the peak lord. Lots of "just dropping in for a visits" by a rotating cast of peak lords (they have a schedule).
But the hellhound puppy is a fabulous pet! Actually, Shen Qingqiu thinks it's really remarkable how smart and readily tamed he is? Barely a few days in and he's obediently following Shizun's commands, except for "stay", which he seems to struggle with. He doesn't maul or threaten any of the disciples, only growls at Shang Qinghua sometimes and makes a few aggressive displays at Liu Qingge. The former case is just good taste, and as to the latter, well, clearly the hellhound is sensitive and intelligent, and has a more-than-rudamentary understanding of words spoken to him. He probably remembers that Liu Qingge wanted to kill him when they first met. Shen Qingqiu takes his time soothing his puppy and assuring him that he won't come to any harm, he's perfectly safe on Qing Jing Peak with Shen Qingqiu.
At least, for now.
Although actually, the more Shen Qingqiu thinks about it, the more convinced he becomes that Hellhound (sue him, he's not the best with names) would be a perfect companion for Luo Binghe once he gets out of the Abyss. The only difficulty would be in how to convince Binghe to accept him, and also how to keep his now-loyal hound from trying to defend his master when justice comes due. Shen Qingqiu figures he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it, and in the meanwhile takes some time to explain to Hellhound about his disciple, Luo Binghe, who is enduring a terrible trial in the Abyss, but who will return one day having become Emperor of the Demon Realms and could probably use a steadfast and intelligent companion who is interested in more than just his incredible amounts of power or irresistible good looks.
Luo Binghe Himself: ?!?!?!
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#long post#lbh: either shizun doesn't know it's me and I have badly misunderstood his intentions in throwing me into the abyss#or shizun DOES know it's me and is lying but also letting me lick his face and sleep on his bed#...much to think about
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"You're burning up" + Aventurine?
"You're burning up."
Aventurine doesn't know what else to say, so he goes with those three words. Safe bet - the doting parents in all the movies and sitcoms say it just like that; with care and worry, palm splayed out across the ill's forehead.
And holy hell are you ill.
Collapsed on his lavish sofa, you groan in response, swatting his hand away. "I'm gonna be just fine..."
He's inclined to disagree. You're sweating buckets despite how he'd mashed the thermostat down to its limit - he even had to shrug on a jacket. Perhaps Aventurine would have poked fun at you for your intolerance, but he has enough decorum to hold his tongue. He really doesn't like seeing you so put out, as much as you're welcome to crash here.
"Your poker face could use some work. Save your words, we can hang out another time," he dismisses easily, bracing himself for your incoming opposition. He reluctantly breaks away from your side to amble over to the coffee table, beginning to clean up the remnants of game night.
"No way," in the corner of his eye, he notices you shifting restlessly, "finals are coming up. Won't have time after this..."
Aventurine sighs, sweeping his very nice clay chips into one hand while using the other to click open their case. This time of year, things become almost unbearably hectic. He has exams coming up in a few weeks himself, and though he never needs to study, he always adheres to your modus operandi of 'cram now, cry later'.
"Well, you're not going back to those dorms in that state."
"You sound like a dickhead," you murmur. "You think I wanna live there? Shitty thin walls... shitty dining hall food..."
He chuckles, snapping the case shut and dusting his hands of nonexistent dust. "You're cruder than usual when you're feverish."
Aventurine almost startles when you gasp. "I have a fever?!"
...and you're loopy, too.
He gets you to sit still with the promise of retrieving a fever reducer and some water. Aventurine roots through his bathroom cabinets, combing through his own extensive collection of self-care and skin products to reach where he keeps his medication.
It takes several minutes of crouching down on the tile for him to realize he doesn't have any. He clicks his tongue - well, it seems his own lifestyle has backfired on him once again. Aventurine doesn't get sick often, doesn't spend a lot of time at home, and has enough stubborn resilience to power through any ailment that might plague him.
But for you? The only reason he spends any time at all in this stupidly expensive penthouse?
Yeah, he'll make a quick trip to the drugstore.
When he walks back into the living room with his shoes on and wallet in his pocket, his heart warms. You've somehow slipped into an upside down position, hair spilling over the edge of the cushions. You somehow make it look comfortable, eyes closed and brow free of any creases.
"Does that help your sinuses?" he asks, really only to test if you're awake.
"You smell good..."
Aventurine ignores how those words make him feel, eyeing the door (and where your shoes are lined up neatly against the wall).
"I have to restock on Tylenol," he swallows. "Will you be okay by yourself?"
"Yes," you respond coherently this time.
Before he departs, he cajoles you into another position in case you throw up like that and end up choking - not without some strangely endearing complaints that you'd normally never voice, positive thing you are.
He doesn't get to the inside mat before you pipe up again, making him stop in his tracks.
"C'mere," you cough. "Please, humor a dying star's last wish..."
He really should be going so he can get your temperature down quicker, but leaving you on the sofa while you're about to cough up a lung strikes him as cruel. Aventurine gives into your dramatics - which happen to perfectly align with his own at times - and makes his way over to you.
"What is it? Did I forget something?" he sits down on the armrest, perching there with perfect balance. When you don't respond immediately, an odd little expression on your face, he rests his chin on his fist, pensive.
You hum.
He doesn't expect much; a request for another pillow, a plea for him to turn on a movie for you while he's out. Instead, he's caught off-guard as you throw an arm around his waist and pull, effectively whisking him off the high ground and right into your grasp.
Aventurine initially tenses but settles as you nuzzle closer. You're the only person in the world that can get away with loving him so easily.
"M'sorry I got sick on game night..." you whisper, uncaring that you're spreading your sickness (and your homely oxytocin).
He finds himself not caring much either.
"Do you believe me to be that hung up on you catching a cold?"
Aventurine's heart rabbits cruelly - he's sure you can hear it, with the way you're snuggled against him and whatnot, but maybe he'll get lucky like he always has, and you'll remain oblivious and perfect and unbothered, despite what you do to him.
You sniffle, words thick with exhaustion. "I dunno. Just stay."
He can't. Not just because he has to go pick up that Tylenol, but because he feels like he might die if you keep saying things like that.
"Five minutes," he acquiesces.
Aventurine waits for your celebration of victory, but no such thing comes. You're fast asleep, clinging to him like he's worth something.
He stays for a lot longer than five minutes, only wriggling out of your arms when he's sure you won't wake up to find him gone. When he returns later with his spoils (which also just so happen to include your favorite drink), you're cradling a pillow in his place.
Before Aventurine is your boyfriend or lover, he is a liar.
He is most definitely, unequivocally, one hundred percent hung up on you.
🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren
a/n: modern au because i couldn't possibly resist. just wanted to mention here that u guys absolutely killed it with these quotes. you have my gratitude! also why is he like that. soggy wet cat
event post here
#[200] everybody talks!#—stellaronhvnters.#aventurine x reader#hsr x reader#aventurine hsr x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#honkai star rail x reader#aventurine fluff#honkai: star rail x reader#aventurine x you#aventurine hsr#honkai star rail aventurine x reader#aventurine honkai star rail x reader#anonymous#✧ my writing
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