#i defs still do think about it from time to time

[linkcharacter]

Love the difference from how Jimmy rejects the pills aggressively while it’s implied in canon Curly just tries to keep his mouth closed rather than hurt anyone. I also love how Curly thanks Jimmy for letting him help vs Jimmy complaining that he had to in canon despite never really being an asked more than once and talks down to Curly.

It’s an interesting difference in how they both take the duty from Anya where Curly is def trying to salivate her of having to take care of Jimmy due to every pre-crash and the guilt but also because that is his friend still. Just comparing it to Jimmy who only does it cause he needs to feel useful and asserting himself as more capable than Anya.

I know you likely wanna keep it vague or open to interpretation but since Curly acknowledged the pills aren’t doing much for Jimmy do you think he’s genuinely doing it just cause it does something even if little for Jimmy or to ease his mind? Sort of like how the crew mainly gives Curly his pills to keep him quiet and more so how Jimmy does it cause Curly’s sobs def mess with his crippling repressed feelings of guilt.

Very interesting how it differs. Also love how you still didn’t show the actual feeding of the pill

Oh yes the differences :) The whole time I was making the comic the 2nd audio of Jimmy feeding Curly the pills kept spinning in my brain. And yes, I didn't show the actual pill feeding, the game doesn't show it visually, so I didn't think there was a reason to do it here.

You are correct, I would like to keep it vague. It's interesting how you interpreted Curly's comment on the pills as just him thinking they aren't doing much for Jimmy, and I'm not saying it's wrong, but I see (and put) a couple of different meanings for his thoughts' text, all of which are valid, this one included.

As to why Curly gives him the pills, I'd say it can be both reasons at once. Curly does want to help, but he also wants to feel like he's helping. The thing about Curly is that he prioritizes doing what his own sense of righteousness dictates as doing the right thing, whether or not it's a smart or a helpful decision or not. Like how he decided to tell the crew about them losing their jobs. It wasn't a smart nor a productive decision, all it did was make the crew stressed and brought the morale down for the rest of the 8 months they were supposed to haul. But it was what Curly saw as 'what a good person would do', 'what a friend would do', that he "can't keep this form them all" because it gnawed on his conscience. He didn't consider consequences of telling upsetting news to his crew, or if he did, they didn't outweigh the importance to do right by his crew to Curly. To him it was the 'less scummy' way to go about it, the one that didn't leave Curly feeling like a bad person for "deceiving" his friends. But he means well at the end of the day too, he doesn't want his friends to feel betrayed, feel like they've been kept in the dark. He doesn't want to use his special treatment as a Captain while his subordinates are worse off than him.

And here with Jimmy, Curly wants to do his best to ease whatever pain his friend is in, but he also doesn't want to force him into anything because that would make Curly feel like he's undermining Jimmy's autonomy, whether or not Jimmy by himself would make a decision on medical treatment that was 'best for him', and whether or not the pills do jack shit at all. Curly tries to do good by everyone, because he genuinely wants to help and because he feels that doing a helpful thing is what he 'should' do. Curly's a complicated guy and it all comes down to what you personally consider as 'genuine want to help' and whether or not, to you, the actions a person takes matter more than the intentions behind them.

Thank you for your comments, as always very discussion engaging, I love it!!

[sssugarplum]

𝐊𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮 𝐱 𝐅!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐂'𝐬

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐇𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

• definitely made them match cute hello kitty pj's, though Eijiro n you loved it way more than Katsuki did for sure 😭 (deep down he does it bc he loves you both I fear) (he wears those hk pj's almost every night but no one knows this).

• don't ever try and talk down to yourself bc they will be all up on you!! And they will scold you for thinking and saying such things about yourself.

• Especially if you have an 'unacceptable' body type, they are soo all over you. Don't let them hear someone saying anything remotely bad about you or they will lose their shit.

• Kirishima def brings both you and Kats a snack or drink from the venting machine whenever he gets himself something.

• bro, if you're wearing something more revealing or showing more skin, they're dead and feral😩 (especially if you don't show skin a lot or rarely wear revealing clothing.)

• anyone you hate or don't like? Omfg same! They don't either! (If u do they do too).

• will not hesitate to beat your ass when training together. They're both hard on you because they want you to fight and use your quirk to your full potential, though, Eijiro is slightly more careful since he doesn't wanna badly cut you with his hardening. Katsuki is extremely caring tho if he does end up going too far with you or Eijiro.

• they're so loveable. Eijiro is always trying to hold hands with Katsuki and you, even if it's just pinkies. wants to wear y'all's clothes, gives y'all matching bracelets, those things.

• Katsuki though just complains but does do wtvr you ask him too! Def big on acts of service and making sure y'all are not overdoing or overworking yourself, eating enough, resting enough, etc. Although, he lovess loves when Eijiro or you give him head scratches, only in private tho! (He won't fight it if he's tired).

• you're cold? Don't worryyyy they've gotchu! You will be wearing both of their jackets/coats at the same time, AND wearing an extra pair of gloves Katsuki brought (if you're outside, Winter time..) Now you're overheated!

• even if they aren't interested, they'll still watch whatever you put on to watch on yt. They don't know who tf Jaykubscoutz is but hey he's kinda funny..

• if you're too full to finish the rest of your food or wtvr you're eating, or don't like it, give it to one of them and they'll eat it for you.

• if you wear makeup, they love watching you put it on and get ready. Eijiro is the only enthusiastic one if you suggest putting makeup on them. Katsuki won't let you go anywhere near his eyes.

• you're sick? Oh no! That's okay😊 you've got Eijiro comforting you, cuddling and giving you head pats while Katsuki makes you soup and gives you medicine; water, crackers, the good stuff. You get better within 2 days thanks to them!

• if you're on you're period they don't want you doing too much tbh. They know you have to go to your classes, train and stuff but if they can help it they'll get you your food instead or bring it to you. Just ask and you'll get it! They just want to make your period easier for you. They're very understanding.

• youve painted their nails a few times, and Eijiro loves black or red (sometimes both) in him while Katsuki...let's just say he'll only wear black, orange too if you beg him or bribe him enough.

[r-aindr0p]

"magical boys"

*BREAKS DOWN A WALL AMD CHUCKS MINI ROLLOS TO ANYTHING IN SIGHT*

WHERE?!

*visibly shaking* I am normal about this reversal trope of magical girls. I can definetely be trusted to not squeeze this mozarrella with a bowl cut to death. *mini rollo definitely being squeezed to death*

No idea if it's three anons or one but that's really sweet ✨ pls beware depending on which guy you plan to eat some of them give food poisoning or hallucinations (thinking abt some as those small colorful rainforest frogs)

I love magical girl animes very much, grew up watching tokyo mew mew (and somehow managed to watch wedding peach all on youtube a long time ago, i did not understand the english subtitles at all lmao, rewatched it years later and loved it), so imagine my surprise when I stumbled accross the first (if you ignore saint seiya) full on magical boy anime in 2015 and ever since I wanted to draw my own, and now I have my musketeers :)))

A lot more magical boy yapping under the cut because I love this trope so much

Anime I'm talking abt is 'Binan Koukou Chikyuu bouei-bu love' btw ! It's on the parodic side but not as much shitpost-ish as 'magical girl ore' for example. It takes itself "seriously" in it's own way. (and the ending song talks about 2 characters of the show that drifted apart and how there's 3 meters only separating them but it's enough for one to miss the other and aughhh my heart I could yap about this for ages)

LOOK AT THEM (couldn't find a decent pic of the season 1 clothes, this is season 2 and the pic is still low res augh)

Like, I was ?? idk in my last year of middle school maybe when I found this ?? fantastic discovery. Pink wombat mascot with the voice of an old man gives cute bracelets to 5 guys to save the earth. They have to say "love making" and kiss their bracelet to transform, I'm crying And here's the villains of season 1 and season 2 (twins) (silver haired bowl cut annoyed guy is my favorite, what a familiar description....)

There's 3 seasons in total to this anime and season 3 has a new cast of guys but years later at the same school !

Scenario is basically the same as season 1 but with different guys and villains, but omg the otter..... I love that yellow otter so much..... (look they have magical ace and deuce ) Villains of season 3 are called "edelstein knights" or something (ince again an angry guy with ridiculous bangs considered a villain, my beloved)

Other legit magical boy I love a lot is 'Fairy Ranmaru' !! It takes itself more seriously than binan koukou, in it's own scandalous way I'd say. They went ham with the fanservice during transformations it's crazy-(especially uruu's transformation) def +16 at least They do try to talk about serious matters and feelings/emotions in general. I cant' really tell if it's well written since I'm really an easy audience, I should watch it a second time... It's a visual experience at least if you're into that kind of designs

Blue guy my beloved.... Not showing any more, you can find the transformations on yt crunchyroll literally published them

Alright one last "magical" boy/girl, it's not even exceptionnal but it's a fever dream shitpost that has a special place in my heart : 'Classicaloid' So a girl's father created humanoids with the memories of classical composers and went to get milk, leaving them all. The classicaloids eventually decide to squat at the girl's house. They have magical powers called "musik" and have a small transformation animation. So to a certain extent I do consider this a magical people anime.

Here's everyone from season 1 (untransfromed) Beethoven and Bach (maybe mozart too tbh) are the most recognizeable but good luck to guess the others :') (Liszt and Tchaikovsky are genderbent) They are all so whacky together I love them so much, bach only speaks in musical terms "andante, pianissimo etc.." Chopin is the looser of all times, Mozart is.... Mozart, and Dvorak (season 2) became a pigmy hippo for literally no reason The animation is nice but the ending song illustrations ??? dang

First two pics are from season 2 endings, they all represent an important location for the composers or something related to them (for example Chopin's is the père lachaise cemetery in paris where irl one has a tomb) Really I'm amazed by all the ending art pieces, I can't put more than 10 pics per post, I would've showed them all otherwise eeee) On the thrid pic you actually see mozart in his musik outfit ! An in one ep he even lets his hair loose ahierjh

(takt:op is absolutely in my watchlist)

If you made it this far thank you for listening to the yapping, wether it was interesting or not ! :)))

[thechy-fychannel]

Don't care about top/bottom but house is totally a sub for Wilson. That man just folds in half for him, even after putting up resistance, true or fake. And i think house needs to turn his brain off a bit, which is useful for someone who has a lot of thoughts all the time. All the time

Oh 1000% I agree. who tops and bottoms doesn't rly matter (although I will stand by the idea that house bottoms more often than not bc he's a big fan of the male g spot) what matters is that when it comes to the bedroom, house is a total sub for wilson. he's definitely a sub brat, he will not just submit to wilson unless he can't emotionally keep up the farce. but once wilson is able to break down those walls he puts up (which he's able to do so swift and easily that it's less of a wall and more of a curtain really), he really does just fold in half, the easiest slut you've ever seen.

It really is about turning his brain off. He has such a busy mind that overwhelms him sometimes and there is no drug out there that has the same effect as wilson pounding him into the mattress until he can't feel his legs and doesn't remember what day it is. sometimes he needs it so bad that he'll do anything, he'll practically turn into a whining dog, humping wilson's leg every chance he gets until wilson has enough and finally gives him what he wants. it's why he acts out and messes with wilson so much, stealing his lunch, messing with his schedule, including him in his case when he's not needed. eventually wilson gets the message and gives house what he wants, holding a hand over his mouth while he fucks him against a wall or bending him over his office couch. Or more favorably, taking him home and taking him over every piece of furniture they own.

I think even when wilson's the one bottoming, he's still topping from the bottom. wilson def has this fantasy of just like tying house up, putting a ball gag in his mouth, and just riding him for as long as he wants, however he wants. but when the time comes, he finds that he misses house's ridiculously obscene mouth and the things he says and the sounds he makes. plus, it's fun to be in control of whether he gets to talk to not and house is eager to get what he wants, so he'll say just about anything wilson wants so he doesn't stop.

there are times where house wants to be in control in the bedroom and there are times wilson doesn't want to be in control. sometimes house gets in a mood and says smth like "this is what I want. now are you going to give it to me or do i need to get it somewhere else?" and wilson is like "oh I'll fucking give it to you alright.." and let's house be in control bc it's what he needs. but ultimately, it all comes back to wilson knowing what he needs and giving it to him, whether it's to be filled and fucked or deprived of orgasm until he behaves or letting him feel in control when the world around him feels so out of control.

it makes me giggle when I see ppl say they don't understand how anyone could headcanon wilson as the dom in their relationship, when in reality he dominates every single corner of house's life and has since the day they met. it all comes back to wilson always ❤️

[elliesglock]

also can you show the alleged kissing clips of the AI live, or just other good/important clips from that live too!

okay so i'm getting a lot of asks for breakdown on the ai live so im just gonna leave my thoughts and the link to the live here!

first order of business THIS SHIT

UM HELLLOOOOOO? AZZI FUDD????!? you damn menace you knew. so basically if you don't know what's happening in this clip....paige is asking for her phone from azzi cause she has it for some reason...yeah i know just let them be gfs idk what else to say. the way you can see p's WHOLE FACE tense up for no reason one second? well you can thank azzi fudd for that bullshit. you can kinda see p's arm being pulled and maneuvered as if azzis holding her hand teasing her about her phone. p obv gets very flustered and just stares into the phone for a second. get some brown contacts lady jeezus. she then asks again for her phone with a very awkward look on her face (also she's so polite with her little pleases, azzi runs it don't even play). atp you can tell paige's heart is beating literally out of her throat. she gets this blushy shy look on her face, smirks, and looks down at jana's phone. azzi was def playing with her hand, feeling her up, SOMETHING bc to make paige bueckers nervous and shy??? azzi fudd u are truly a mastermind. which leads to me to my next point. MORE tomfoolery on my cellular device

now it won't let me add the video of them looking at the ai tik tok vid but i'll respond to another anon with that. they're scrolling and scrolling and suddenly p's eyes light up while she's watching it. jana looks up with the cutest little grin and is like "that's yalls." NOOOOO! like the guns already in my hand. PEOPLE DIED EL ALFY!! paige gets an even bigger grin on her face n and basically manhandles the phone from poor jana to get a good look. (also peep kayla in the back looking at azzi when jana says it). so paige shows the live what it is switching to the first picture in the tik tok. azzi's trying to scroll and look but p has other plans 😭 azzi's "what?!" takes me out. i want to point out that p doesn't really look at the other pictures all that much, but she stays on the one that jana points out as looking like her and azzi's kid. like she locks in on that one every time. my heart is gone just have it pazzi im sickkkkk....she gives the sweetest look to azzi when she stops on the picture and it just gives like just young loveeeeeeee like they're locked in. u can tell paige is just imagining a life with azzi. okay im gonna throw up no more torture.

now for the final part, this one is not really definitively proven so don't jump down my throat it's just my theory. a lot of anons were asking me about the kiss in the live. i believe there's only one. p is about to leave and she waves goodbye to the live. music is still blasting btw thanks for the partial hearing loss kayla! then idk if paige either smacks her lips or the music just happens to find the perfect time to cut off and catch them kissing goodbye. but you can def hear something. if its a kiss it's a goodbye kiss because paige says she's going to leave and do something with her car or load something im not too sure 😭. kayla's face too. eyes wide as saucers she knowsssssss. i think p went in for the kiss that close to the camera where it could be picked up because music was playing and then it got cut off and you could hear them....oops. god was on our side thank u thank u.

that's about all i have for that live! they're married hope this helps! bye!

[kogane-twst]

No Yandere Simulator AU @quartztwst

So my little Kogane is joining as a rival! (English isn't my first language so forgive me if any spelling/grammar mistakes!)

(If anyone is wondering why she doesn't have a nose, it's for religious reasons, no hate pls! Also if you want to know more about her in original TWST universe, go see this post.)

Q&A under the cut!

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Yes! In this AU she has her father AND her mother isn't dead like original TWST AU. She still has a family shop and lives well from it, she's neither rich or poor.

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

Kogane is an observant person. She def think that her crush on Azul is weird, like if she's a loner and shy person, why would she admit to everyone that she likes him and say "Don't tell him!"??? It's as if she wants him to know. Also the fact that she "doesn't" want him to know but still tries to have some time with him alone? She doesn't suspect her of wanting to kill him, but she still observes her, so she gets in the way of the murder.

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Kogane met him during her first year while she was in the library looking for a specific book. And as the oh so kind member of the student council, he was obligated to help her to earn a favor. After this they met multiple times and became bestfriends, even though they sometimes annoy each other each others.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

Ace Trappola

They're bestfriends since middle school! They always are together and when they're not, people asks them "Where is Kogane/Ace?" There was a few rumors of them dating, they did nothing about it and like to play with the rumors. No one can actually tell if they like each others or not.

Azul Ashengrotto

The both of them are always bickering and trying to be more annoying than the other, though, they still care a little for each others and tolerate each others pretty well.

Jade & Floyd Leech

Kogane met them at the same time as Azul, since this trio always are together. She became closer to them before meeting Azul. She knows she can count on them, and she likes to mess with Jade just the same as she does with Azul. She likes hanging out with Floyd because it's always a new adventure.

Quartz

They were classmates in first year, but barely talked, Kogane still remembers her well. Quartz knows that Kogane gets in the way of her plan to kill Azul, and she's very careful when she's around. Kogane thinks Quartz is a somewhat cool person, but finds her "crush" on Azul weird.

5. What grade/year is your OC?

In this AU she's in her second year of highschool. During her first year she was in the same class as Quartz, she barely talked to her tho. Now she's with Azul. Though in the TWST original universe she's a first year because she's new to the world.

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

She wants to beat Azul academically, and later she'll work in her family shop as the owner.

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Kogane is very upset that someone lied about her. She pulls all nighters just to find out who on earth did that. If she eventually finds out it's Quartz, she'll just stalk her to have more informations on her and blackmail her.

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

At first she won't report it, just observe. Then, if the scene in question 7 happens, she will blackmail her like "tell everyone it was a lie or joke or something, or else I'm reporting you, I got proofs" and still report her just for the sake of drama.

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

She's usually with Ace during interclasses and breaks. In class she stays with her classmates, Azul or alone, she doesn't really care. She eats lunch with Ace at the cafeteria.

10. How are your OC's grades?

She's very smart and is the second in her class, Azul being the first. Kogane takes this very personally and Floyd is like "It's not that deep bruh" but she doesn't gaf, she still tries to get better grades than Azul.

That's it! I hope y'all like it! Also I just LOVEEE this AU! It's such an awesome idea! If anyone wants to make my OC friends with their own, feel free to do so! I would love Kogane to make friends!

(Dividers)

[saetiate]

lowk feel bad on tumblr dot com sometimes bc ik most of my following came from my alhaitham x reader x kaveh fic and now all i do is talk about blade and sae like i am truly no longer much of a genshin blog i'm so sorry T^T

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[dykedvonte]

Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.

I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.

This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.

The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.

It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…

The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.

[shouyuus]

sooo i was going back through my figure skating folder on tiktok and saw this video again and immediately my brain went meljayce ice dancing/skating 🫶🏽

yes!!! so that's pair's skating -- the difference between ice dance and pairs skating is that in ice dance, there's no jumping/throwing, and you can't lift the girl above shoulder height! but the edge control and the dynamics/synchronization is insane.

here are two of my fav programs in ice dance:

tessa and scott's 2018 pyeongchang free dance (i was THERE!!!!)

shib sibs 2018 pyeongchang paradise (i was also there and i subsequently got to meet them when they were doing a ralph lauren event in nyc so that was kinda cool)

and pairs skating is where you get the really crazy jumps and throws and side-by-side triple-double jumps -- two of my favs:

sui and han bridge over troubled water at beijing 2022

knierim and frazier fall on me 2020 nationals

so the "stereotype" and i say that loosely bc it's all kind of in good fun, is that freestyle skaters are like... all about that power, right they gotta YEET themselves into the air and do insane jumps, and ice dancers are all about precision and control -- they even have slightly different skates than normal "freestyle" skaters. the blades are shorter so they can get in real close to their partner and not step on them lol.

so i headcanoned that mel's always been an ice dancer, she's precise and careful and very, very refined. and jayce used to be a pairs skater (i mean, it'd put some of those fuCKING muscles to good use yall) but swapped to ice dance after meeting mel.

[moe-broey]

Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?

Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍

Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂‍↕️

[oopsallmabari]

....why are the youtube comments so mad lol don't y'all like to have fun. don't we like to have fun here

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[affluent-havoc]

Random Togami Headcanon 13

TL;DR - Byakuya's bettered himself but he still has a long road of healing. Also, heads up. This one's not happy like most of the others. Gets a bit hopeful at the end but there's still a lot of sad topics here. Viewer discretion is advised. Now that he feels more empathy for others and possesses some capability for putting himself in another's shoes, thoughts he used to have about the lower class make him feel... off. Perhaps guilt or discomfort with himself. It doesn't help though looking at his classmates every school day and being reminded of the mindset he was raised with. It especially doesn't help when he looks at Makoto who helped him. Makoto being the commoner of all commoner's also hurts. He appreciates what Makoto's done to help him but it unintentionally stabs him hard within his chest that he needed someone's help to get to this point and the someone being a commoner he once wrote off. Next, with this empathy, the heir feels better with his life and happiness but fundamentally worse. It's as if he deteriorated though, logically, he knows it's not the case. He knows that the illogical side of his brain covers itself in the hides of reason and rationale. Essentially, Byakuya ends up having a grueling struggle with dealing with these emotions that, for the majority of his life, he buried and repressed. Emotions that both make him feel more fulfilled in life but that tear him apart inside. Bouts where he feels either extremely content with how he's turned out or that dread and despair that he's slipping back into his old ways. In fact, at times, it becomes overwhelming for him to handle which he especially hates. Being overwhelmed is yet another thing he once viewed as a weakness and, to some extent, he still does. Sometimes, to cope, jokes to himself on whether existing itself is something he feels is a weakness. However, though he has a lot of emotions and thoughts that upset him now as a bettered person, one big thing that pains him is that he has the capability and the intelligence to notice all of this. It's the acknowledgment that stings. The heir notices that he has a problem, that he probably needs help, maybe even therapy, but then he spirals more because of that realization. Why should HE need HELP for these problems of his?! He's an independent person! He should logically be able to handle this himself. He's always handled his problems on his own! Why should he now need someone or just a support system of people to aid in his path of healing? He feels gross for that support system being the classmates who he once adamantly despised with such vitriol. With the added empathy, he also feels shame as he doesn't want to hurt any more people in his life now. He has the hindsight to know this now. He questions himself. Is the situation he's in even that big of a deal and should he keep searching for answers on the "why" and "how"? Is it worth it? Comparisons to the peasants he used to once adamantly demonize also do not escape him. He feels worse because, while he's breaking at the seams, countless of other commoners have similar thoughts too. He's not unique and a bit of that stings his lingering superiority. Then, there is the fact that Byakuya feels even worse about this BECAUSE commoners can handle stuff like this and yet, he keeps saying that he can't due to his mental spirals. Either that or the older thoughts of hating commoners bites back by making him feel like he's "acting like one". He knows by this point that he's actively tearing himself down and that he needs to escape this cycle of mental abuse. He feels shame in himself though. He feels humiliated. Pathetic. Overly emotional in ways he's never felt before. He still has that hope though. The hope that he can get through his. The heir's already delt with so much whether canon, non-despair, or an au of some kind. He's continued on despite it all. And, though long ago, he would have pushed some of this hope off for it being too optimistic, he's grown to care less about that sort of thought anymore. Byakuya can do this.

[vanilla-voyeur]

looking at those posts where people talk about how people without chronic pain will never understand the pain intensity of chronic pain and concluding my near constant dull full body ache must not count as true chronic pain

[aq2003]

so john smith is a character that ten "made up" (ie. the tardis generated him to fit the time period it picked). a fundamentally empty person that he can't control will do. someone that is missing the inherent parts of what makes ten himself, like not just his two hearts but things that truly deeply matter to him. things like not hurting anyone or not abandoning a companion or not being someone that teaches children how to shoot a weapon and fight in a war. human ten might show echoes of normal ten here or there like the art or the intelligence but their differences are rly kinda the point of the arc. multiple times human ten is given the opportunity to give himself up and sacrifice himself for those around him and it's only until the very, very last minute that he makes the decision that normal ten would've done in an instant. this isn't your normal amnesia storyline; ten temporarily erased himself from existence to give the family of blood a chance of dying peacefully, and replaced himself with someone else who wouldn't do that same thing; who is so ordinary and complacent and cishet and probably even likes the texture of pears