#i could've said even more
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thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.
of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.
his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.
then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.
in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.
as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."
tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him
#i swear i did not intend for this post to get so long#i could've said even more#like how he latches on to the concept of destiny because it both vindicates his own suffering and exempts him from needing love/affection#because he needing those things is what made john keep returning to his father and he never wants to feel vulnerable like that again#if you never get attached to anyone then they can never leave you etc.#unfortunately destiny is also. a fickle bitch#ARGHHHH I NEED TO WRITE AN ESSAY#i have so many thoughts and so little time/motivation to write#i still need to finish my fic it's so close to being done#but productivity abandons me#just like destiny....#sorry#john locke#lost#lost 2004#lost abc#lost tv show#lost tv series#ben linus#jack shephard#charlie pace#boone carlyle#claire littleton#kate austen#juliet burke#character analysis#ig?#mini essay#walt lloyd#my silly rambles
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#sebek: wow we're so lucky to see lilia-sama at his fighting prime. so commanding! so powerful!#lilia: (straight up stuffs a frog in his mouth without breaking eye contact)#seriously though i did not think it was possible for me to enjoy lilia even more. and yet.#'dragon eggs need love in order to hatch'#ten year old me: gasp. i knew it.#the IMPLICATIONS though!#forget true love's kiss we have true love's baby dragon over here#also twst. twst please. i do feel i need to call you out a little bit on malleus' age#i don't really have a problem with it i was just. surprised.#i mean i GUESS the description of dragon ages was vague enough that malleus being under 200 doesn't inherently contradict it#it could've been clearer okay :(#that said it is true that the younger malleus is the more hilarious his whole world-weary immortal schtick is#'ah...you are all as infants in comparison to me. ' - malleus (age 19)#also lilia being a foundling does explain him not knowing his real birthday. so i will forgive (1) birth-related shenanigan.#auuuugh the parallels between lilia and silver#brb i need to go roll around on the ground and mutter to myself for a while
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In my Zeus bag today so I'm just gonna put it out there that exactly none of the great Ancient Greek warrior-heroes stayed loyal and faithful and completely monogamous and yet none of them have their greatness questioned nor do we question why they had the cultural prominence that they did and still do.
Jason, the brilliant leader of the Argo, got cold feet when it came to Medea - already put off by some of her magic and then exiled from his birthland because of her political ploys, he took Creusa to bed and fully intended on marrying her despite not properly dissolving things with Medea.
Theseus was a fierce warrior and an incredibly talented king but he had a horrible temper and was almost fatally weak to women. This is the man who got imprisoned in the Underworld for trying to get a friend laid, the man who started the whole Attic War because he couldn't keep his legs closed.
And we cannot at all forget Heracles for whom a not inconsiderable amount of his joy in life was loving people then losing the people around him that he loved. Wives, children, serving boys, mentors, Heracles had a list of lovers - male and female - long enough to rival some gods and even after completing his labours and coming down to the end of his life, he did not have one wife but three.
And y'know what, just because he's a cultural darling, I'll put Achilles up here too because that man was a Theseus type where he was fantastic at the thing he was born to do (that is, fight whereas Theseus' was to rule) but that was not enough to eclipse his horrid temper and his weakness to young pretty things. This is the man that killed two of Apollo's sons because they wouldn't let him hit - Tenes because he refused to let Achilles have his sister and Troilus who refused Achilles so vehemently that he ran into Apollo's temple to avoid him and still couldn't escape.
All four of these men are still celebrated as great heroes and men. All four of these men are given the dignity of nuance, of having their flaws treated as just that, flaws which enrich their character and can be used to discuss the wider cultural point of what truly makes a hero heroic. All four of these men still have their legacies respected.
Why can that same mindset not be applied to Zeus? Zeus, who was a warrior-king raised in seclusion apart from his family. Zeus who must have learned to embrace the violence of thunder for every time he cried as a babe, the Corybantes would bang their shields to hide the sound. Zeus learned to be great because being good would not see the universe's affairs in its order.
The wonderful thing about sympathy is that we never run out of it. There's no rule stopping us from being sympathetic to multiple plights at once, there's no law that necessitate things always exist on the good-evil binary. Yes, Zeus sentenced Prometheus to sufferation in Tartarus for what (to us) seems like a cruel reason. Prometheus only wanted to help humans! But when you think about Prometheus' actions from a king's perspective, the narrative is completely different: Prometheus stole divine knowledge and gifted it to humans after Zeus explicitly told him not to. And this was after Prometheus cheated all the gods out of a huge portion of wealth by having humans keep the best part of a sacrifice's meat while the gods must delight themselves with bones, fat and skin. Yes, Zeus gave Persephone away to Hades without consulting Demeter but what king consults a woman who is not his wife about the arrangement of his daughter's marriage to another king? Yes, Zeus breaks the marriage vows he set with Hera despite his love of her but what is the Master of Fate if not its staunchest slave?
The nuance is there. Even in his most bizarre actions, the nuance and logic and reason is there. The Ancient Greeks weren't a daft people, they worshipped Zeus as their primary god for a reason and they did not associate him with half the vices modern audiences take issue with. Zeus was a father, a visitor, a protector, a fair judge of character, a guide for the lost, the arbiter of revenge for those that had been wronged, a pillar of strength for those who needed it and a shield to protect those who made their home among the biting snakes. His children were reflections of him, extensions of his will who acted both as his mercy and as his retribution, his brothers and sisters deferred to him because he was wise as well as powerful. Zeus didn't become king by accident and it is a damn shame he does not get more respect.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#It's Zeus Apologist day actually#For the record Jason is my personal favourite of these guys#The argonauts are extremely underrated for literally no reason#And Jason's wit and sheer ability to adapt along with his piousness are traits that are so far away from what usually gets highlighted#with the typical Greek warrior-hero that I've just never stopped being captivated by him#Conversely I still do not understand what people see in Achilles#I respect him and his legacy I respect the importance of his tale and his cultural importance I promise I do#However I personally can't stand the guy LMAO#How do you get warned twice TWICE both by your mother and by Athena herself that going after Apollo's children is a bad idea#And still have the audacity to be mad and surprised when Apollo is gunning for Specifically You during the war you're bringing to His City#That You Specifically and Exclusively had a choice in avoiding#ACHILLES COULD'VE JUST SAID NO#I know that's not the point however so many other members of the Greek camp were simply casualties of Fate in every conceivable way man#Achilles looked at every terrible choice he could possibly make said “Well I'm gonna die anyway 🤷🏽” and proceeded to make the choice#so hard that he angered god#That's y'all's man right there#I left out Perseus because truthfully I don't actually know much about him#I haven't studied him even a fraction as much as I've studied some of the other big culture heroes and none of this is cited so i don't wan#to talk about stuff I don't know 100%#Anyway justice for Zeus fr#Gimme something give me literally anything other than the nonsense we usually get for him#This goes for Hera too btw#Both the king and queen of the skies are done TERRIBLY by wider greek myth audiences and it's genuinely disheartening to see#If y'all could make excuses for Achilles to forgive his flaws y'all can do it for them#They have a lot more to sympathise with I'll tell you that#(that is a completely biased statement; you are completely free and encouraged to enjoy whichever figures spark joy)#zeus
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you know when you experienced something so traumatizing or grieved too hard your brain sort of temporarily locked that memory to protect you from the pain? i think that's what's been happening to me after deadpool 2 bc tell me why every time i rewatch that movie, i always forget how painful these scenes are?
they always leave me sobbing and totally wrecked but with each rewatch i'd just... forget they would eventually happen and i'd eventually get hurt??
#i love poolverine but wade x vanessa will always have a special place in my heart#they're it for me#but then again as much as i'd love them to get back together i also think they shouldn't#and this is my personal opinion#bc just like logan whose past shaped him into the man who saved the multiverse#i think vanessa played that role in wade's current life#and i can see why wade said he did it all for her. but if marvel makes her dump dermot to go back to wade that's just 🤕#well i wouldn't like that and i think that'd be a disrespect to her character n story n choice she made#and honestly i won't even bother going to the “well she could've still loved and wanted him back” discussion bc#i do think she was well aware of her decision to leave wade in the end and it must've hurt her terribly too#I MEAN LOOK AT THEM. you can't convince me vanessa wouldn't want to take all of wade's pain if she could#she loved wade just as much. if not more#dp 2 might be my fav dp movie#i love how it focused on wade's struggle to cope and his journey to 'get his heart in the right place'#and no matter how goofy they tried to portray his struggles you can just see the depth and pain behind his actions#but idk maybe that’s just me#deadpool#deadpool 2#wade wilson#vanessa carlysle
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sorry to all of you white middle aged man lovers out there but shane madej subtly shifting the blame with the whole 'steven, talk about money' feels like a pathetic way to salvage the hip leftist uncle persona he's got going on and you all are waiting for him to return to your embrace like some prodigal son who was forced and didn't go on his own accord
#watcher#they've literally spoken about how all the financial issues fell on steven to figure out#even if steven was the only one pushing for this (which i doubt) shane should've put in time and effort to learn more about his company#you can't put him in a safety bubble saying he didn't want this if all he can do is stay passive#all three of them suck equal amounts of ass in this situation stop telling ryan and shane to separate#they literally own 2/3rds of the company if they didn't want this they could've said so
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Musical Touken Ranbu: Michinooku ~ Hitotsu Hachisu (Michinooku ~ A Single Lotus)
Here we go! Only a few days after the archive release and toumyu's ninth anniversary (congratulations!)
Michioku, or Michihasu, is a myu I have many conflicting feelings about, both positive and negative. However, I do believe that with the right amount of care in the next Mika-related story myu, the negative can still be cleared. Plus, I'm glad about a lot of things being re-established. The writer does need to step up her game a little on the plot-writing side of things, as well as the understanding-and-respecting-past-myu side of things, but as long as she does, this can still be given a proper place within what was already established.
Keep in mind that these are only the subtitle files, timed and tled to the DMM senshuuraku and the bluray respectively. The archive version will have a talk at the start, so the starting times of the subs will have to be delayed accordingly.
You can find the subtitles and my TL notes document here!
#touken ranbu#toumyu#water's translations#michioku#michihasu#how do I put this#seeing as myu's director Kayano has said in an interview right before Michioku that Kogi and Mika have a special bond#different from other swords-- and then they try to speedrun *Tsuru* and Mika having a what feels like it was intended to be#even greater relationship using a song called Kage Futatsu where KOGI'S signature song from Utaawase was Futatsu no Kage???#I SINCERELY want to believe it's incompetence rather than the writer deliberately pulling the rug from under Kogi's feet#bc the alternative is just cruel#I don't particularly mind the relationship Mika and Tsuru have in this play but I feel that not for a moment Kogi and kara respectively#were considered in the writing#anyway my final verdict is that this myu is what too many people think tsuwa is: the divorce myu (between Mika and Tsuru this time)#in all cases I hope myu can bring Shirakawa Yuki in again like with Datemyu just to offload myu's already deathly busy writer (she's done#5 myus in a month before which is just insane) because I feel this just isn't sustainable with the amount of carefulness a long-running#franchise like myu demands and the *writing* quality (not the production quality AT ALL Michioku's is great) is suffering for it.#like sure Michioku is loaded with references but they're references that either don't serve *Michioku's own* plot or their treatment shows#a lack of understanding of the work it's referencing-- for example Kashuu calling upon atsu's “This is how the shinsengumi fights!” actuall#goes completely contrary to the lesson he's supposed to have learned from atsuibun: that swords aren't disposable and that he has duties as#both soldier (captain in atsu) and as COMRADE and he makes the (already highlighted in Michioku!) dumb decision of butting in without#thinking-- and with that framed against manba's breaking trauma as well! He's supposed to have learned to stay rational and consider both#duties yet here he is ---BECAUSE of the reference--- completely leaning on the pre-atsu-development side of the scale#as if Ishi's words went one ear in one ear out. And yes the scene by itself could've worked as a subversion to show Kashuu makes the#'irrational' decision against what Ishi taught him to consider precisely because he cares for the people he's protecting but there is NO#groundwork laid at all for that in the rest of Michioku! This is what I mean with the carelessness of the references and the lack of#consideration for what prior myus were trying to SAY and ACHIEVE which is insane because she was the lyricist for those#it's more a collage of feelings provided through a set of characters calling back to the scripts of prior myu rather than#a story that evokes feelings bc the humans in it walk forward and act upon-- interact with-- the scenery on the road as left by prior human
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janai says that "dark magic corruption twists life into monstrosities," that it took innocent creatures and changed them for the worst. rayla spends two whole episodes in s6 believing that other people aren't monsters, but are instead deeply in pain ("because it's dangerous, because it hurts you") because of loss and their fear about their mistakes ("i fought you. i tried to kill you"). becoming a monster means losing you who are. "the second you saw that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself." "if you ever do dark magic again, the darkness and corruption will overwhelm you." until someone else can bring you back. "callum's my brother. i love him even when he doesn't feel like himself." "the star within you, the one truth so bright it can fill the darkness." like. yeah.
#anyway shout out to my casual viewer best friend who got to kosmo's line in 6x06 and went#'oh so he's definitely doing it again' even before the massive viren and runaan parallels in the back half of the season#theme: identity#snake boi callum#s7#predictions#monster motif#if callum had said anything except 'i didn't have a choice' in 6x03 honestly i think there'd#be more room for him to not be susceptible but. he said it and it's like the worst possible thing#thematically he could've said for himself so#tag ramble
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5x07 Erigah // 5x08 Labyrinths // 5x10 Life, Itself
#i just had to make a rayner breen angst compilation haha#could've been 3 times longer but i behaved myself and cut the details#they totally dropped the ball on this one lmao they were setting the confrontation up for so long#and in the end he didn't even get a friendly chat with tahal :') disappointed but not surprised. but hey we still did get all of the above#which is more than can be said for some other characters so i'm not complaining#star trek discovery#callum keith rennie#rayner#commander rayner#michael burnham#cleveland booker#c6d#fwgifs
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a small gaza evacuation masterlist
hey everyone, thought i'd take a few moments to share some gaza evacuation gofundmes that have been posted to twitter. these people have reached out directly asking me to share their campaigns, and i decided to share them here too, since this is where i have a larger following. below is a link to each campaign, a small summary of its goals, and the progress at the time of posting. I'll also share their twitter pages so you can see the names and faces which match the ones in the campaigns (as a means to verify).
Heba, Alma and family (organized by Asmaa):
18,768 / 60,000 Euros Evacuating 10 family members, including a young boy with cerebral palsy who currently can't access necessary medication https://twitter.com/hebaalmaqadma https://twitter.com/AlmaqadmaAya
Ibrahim:
450 / 40,000 Euros Evacuating 8 family members https://twitter.com/ibrahimhandouqa
Bashar (organized by Darina):
19,154 / 65,000 AUD Evacuating a family and covering food and housing, as well as future uni tuition fees https://twitter.com/BasharInshasi
Ahmed and Muhammad (organized by Donia):
2,725 / 10,000 Euros Evacuating a young child from occupied territory https://twitter.com/AhmedAlmofty7
Mahmoud:
1,474 / 50,000 Euros Helping a displaced family escape the aggression, allowing Mahmod to resume studying computer engineering https://twitter.com/MAHMODALKATEB6
Noor (organized by Haafiz):
17,704 / 50,000 CAD First 15,000 CAD goes to evacuating a young photographer, her mother, and sister; the rest for her siblings, in-laws, and niblings https://twitter.com/Nooralsalout
Samah, Walaa, and family (organized by Abdel):
2,145 / 50,000 CAD Evacuating Samah and a handful of her scattered family members to Egypt https://twitter.com/walaahmd169
Motaz:
818 / 20,000 Euros Evacuation to Egypt and then seeking asylum/education in Germany https://twitter.com/26Mo3taz
Please give each of these a read, share them, and donate if you can!! Many of these campaigns have barely progressed so your help is very appreciated. If you want an easier way to share these on twitter as well, here's my thread
#BOOST#free palestine#gaza#gaza genocide#gofundme#i said this in the twitter thread already but the thing that gets me is that some of the ppl are my age or younger#I literally graduated college <2 years ago and they graduated even more recently#it's terrifying honestly. in a different world that could've been me#i'll also update/reshare this periodically to increase visibility
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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Wardrobe Appreciation
↳ Esteban Flores (Elena of Avalor)
#elena of avalor#esteban flores#chancellor esteban#this gifset is entirely about his little sailing/archeology/adventure outfit#that's why it has pride of place in the middle#realistically i know that he is really not THAT much more underdressed than in any of his other outfits#but to me; he is still in a delightfully shameful state of deshabille comparatively:#his neck exposed because he has *gasp* no cravat and has unbuttoned his shirt two whole buttons#the yellow sash belt that clearly has no other purpose except to remind us that his waist is snatched#no longcoat to partially cover his hips and the back of his legs? the brazen audacity. I need some pearls to clutch#moment of silence for all of the cute little potential esteban fits we never got to see on the show#at the very least; we were owed a nice little Navidad look in the snowbound ep#maybe a nice green jacket and/or one with little embroidered poinsetta accents to match elena's dress?#a carnaval fit would've been gr8 too; even gabe of all people got one (tho esteban still has more outfits than him overall so it even outs)#i would say that esteban should have a dias de los muertos outfit too (maybe matching francisco's)#but that would require the writers actually putting him in said episodes to begin with#i mean; i get it#it's not like he has any lost loved ones that he might hypothetically want to remember on day of the dead--OH WAIT!!!#i mean word of god is that he's visiting his parents' altars off-screen; but it would've been nice if we could've seen this once#even if he's just shown briefly in the background#also i *hate* that the shuriki era uniform looks so good on him#i mean she's still a monster and was definitely a hell of a boss to him#but dang; the woman has quite the sartorial eye#and you'll never not convince me that her chancellor looking excellent in black#isn't the entire reason the palace guards wear black too#she knows how to coordinate a retinue#esteban flores: assigned goth at conquest#poor thing#lucky (or is it unlucky?) he carries it off so well
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Thinking about the convolution of Eleventh Doctor's expressions of love for River Song in Season 7B. He does not trust Clara. He is utterly (wrongly) convinced that he and Clara are playing a grand manipulative game together. “What are you, eh?! A trick? A trap?!!”
So naturally, the last thing he should do in this game is to clue his opponent in on something that could be used to hurt him. Something like River, so painfully near the end of their time together, whose data ghost he can always see, who “it would hurt too much” to acknowledge. He can't let Clara know of the loss which constantly floods his senses; (“You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you,” he professes, once Clara has vanished into his timestream).
And yet. River fills his every moment (irregardless of any sneaking out for dates with increasingly-young Rivers while Clara is asleep like he did while the Ponds slept, which would explain his absence when the TARDIS is hiding Clara's bedroom). Even though it's not strategic, he can’t help but tell Clara about her. The best defense he can manage is to phrase it as if River isn’t as important to him as she is. Not only is avoiding her first name in his grief; he's also completely avoiding pronouns; which seems extreme given that he's still mentioning her as often as: “Oh yeah, of course he has! Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.”
Leave out the emotion — leave out the details — don't show the cracks in the armor — play the part — win the game.
“Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.”
#I mean we KNOW that the doctor immediately started pouring his hearts out to Clara as soon as NotD ended <3#Clara tells the war doctor “he's always talking about the day he did it” okay so he's always talking about it starting after the prev ep#eleventh doctor#river song#clara oswald#words by seaweed#yeah I know the implication in Name of the Doctor is that eleven is two-timing them / worried abt Clara being jealous. which. eh. maybe.#but I like this better. also both things can be true if we want them to be#eleven is in SUCH a bad way in Season 7B too he needs to be held#“I thought it would hurt too much and I was right” ever think about how Clara was there for in the deepest moments of his grief?#whether his sad victorian cloud… on the Last Day… or on the day he was finally able to say Rivers name. he thought it would hurt too much#Tia made a really insightful post recently about how eleven can’t speak rivers name when she's gone and like. god. yeah.#it also made me think about. who would he even talk to River about? if he could? after years on a cloud drowning in her present nonpresence#ever think how if HoRS had happened before Hell Bent he never could've dealt with it and coulda broke the universe for River instead#Series 9 was a continuation/escelation of eleven's (and next twelve's) “he hates endings” - endings for Amy and Rory. for River. for Clara.#he hit rock bottom. and then Clara saved him#“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become Songs.”#thank you Clara <3#one episode later:#“When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most- there is a Song.”#bc this is NOT to undervalue the Doctor's love for Clara he has a Duty of Care she's more Breakable than him (also than river!)#but it can it really be a coincidence? bc he is talking abt river in the second one. unless Moffat is obsessed with Song imagery? I MEAN
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slowly losing my mind thinking abt how much the modern world hates elderly/poor people. why must we have phones/tech to even know there are discounts on food, which are now unavailable in any physical means. why is it a standard expectation to be able to pull out your phone & call someone if you're in danger/hurt. where are the public phones. and even if they do have technology, they're often unused to it; so whatever made people in charge of tech companies think it was fine to use that opportunity to take their personal information because they don't know how to turn it off, or if the spyware is even there. it's terrible
#i have to take my grandmothers' phones and disable the invasive implemented parts of it for them. so they don't get scammed Again#it's horrendous. with the money my lola lost in particular; could've treated herself to a god damn catering hall for her next birthday#idk. even in academic settings if you don't have convenience of personal technology you're fucked#there's more to be said but i'm not coherent enough atm. nap time for me#jestersvaguely#negative
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"They found each other in the wreckage of optimism, and it took them a decade to decide that hope was not enough to save the Golden Branch from itself. It was in a library, not an armoury, where the Apostolosian became the sword and shield of Integrity, a Divine who’d lost its Candidate. Some climb into their Divines, others deploy them across the battlefield, or fight under the blanket of their shadows. But Integrity demands intimacy. It digs into the flesh of the willing, all metal and promises and penetralia, desperate to create an unbreakable unity. It is afraid, and wounded, and it cannot know the power it gives without seeing it first in the reflection of a Candidate's eyes: the loft, the velocity, the violence. And for the first time in centuries, Integrity doesn’t fear its Candidate. It moves with confidence, in muscle and ambition. It believes in Sokrates Nikon Artemisios." (COUNTER/Weight 22: A Broken Branch)
Great episode to get to after recent palisade happenings. I obviously remember the "Integrity demands intimacy" but there's so much other great stuff here.... "They found each other in the wreckage of optimism" is just incredible.
Edit: Noting the wording of " [...] the Apostolosian became the sword and shield of Integrity" because Integrity literally is both those things - they are the armor Sokrates wears and the weapon they wield - but it positions them here both as a protector of Integrity and someone Integrity acts through (divines & candidates!).
And I love that this gives Integrity pre-Sokrates interiority I had honestly completely forgotten about. "For the first time in centuries, Integrity doesn't fear it's candidate" A divine afraid(!) of what it can do together with it's candidate, the power it gives. And then what Austin describes in pal29 comes to mind, which is like, "if there was a time when Integrity was like, you know, 'Finally someone has come to help me get out of this situation.' That is not what's happening here." It's interesting because that phrasing of if not the current but a past state("that time has come and gone ")... it still sounds like fear a little bit. And that obviously isn't the case anymore (I don't feel like typing out this Austin quote but he said something about the notion of immortality & change that made me real happy. I love that shit) & I'm curious to learn more about this hopefully.
I love Integrity & while I don't think of it as "the good one", it's fate is important to me because is still one of the sickest divines (which is really saying a lot with like, Perennial and Motion et al. around).
#Integrity is in the description for todays ep & I'm not sure if that's because they're just mentioned like hey btw. or actually relevant#But I shall find out. After I finish this faction game that is#counterweightposting#Palisadeposting#Palisade spoilers#I couldn't fit it in up there but more than everything else 'It is afraid and wounded' made me think of pal29. Likeeee#Also I was like Austin come on give people some credit when he said that bit abt integrity fans going but that's the good one#But 1) likely something he's actually seen? and 2) I can't lie I would like it to be on MBs side. This is my wouldn't that be sick? part.#But ultimately I want whatever happens to to be interesting. And there's things that aren't interesting to me and some of those -#- even fall under 'on MBs side' so like. WELL I'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.#I could elaborate on what's not interesting to me but it's a little. What if I jinx it. (not real) (I'm being extremely silly)#Those tags could've been it's own post tbh but I don't want to type it all out again.
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Bro...did you see the new just art vid?
...
Cause all I have to say is HOLY SHIT-
ahaha, well...
let's just say i did! and that i got very excited- ^^;
#okay- obligatory going insane in tags#aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AHAHAHAHAHA#SAKURA!!! SHE GETS MORE FUCKING SCREENTIME FINALLY!!!#AND WE ALSO GET TO SEE THE PLOTPOINTS LIKE SAID IN MY YT COMMENT-#CHAT WE GET TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE DEMON AND GET TO SEE THE PLOT FROM THE INSTRAGRAM POST IN ACTION!!! IN ACTION!!!!!!!!!#OH MY GOD#AND THEN THERE'S SAYORI AND SAKURA KNOWING EACHOTHER WHICH I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW??? DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY KNEW EACHOTHER??? HELLO???#SHE OFFERING TO HELP HER STUDY???#fuck you demon they could've been friends#ANYWAYS#THE DEMON CAN TALK SO ISNT THAT AMAZING-#AND WE ALSO GET TO SEE HOW SHE GOT POSSESSED-#I actually thought she was just walking at night and the demon lunged at her#but she was actually at home- hmm-#of course she drinks water before she goes to bed mf actually has a nighttime routine of course she does /j#OH OH RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE WITH ALL THE STUDENTS SAYING HI TO SAKURA#really shows how she is the popular girl... also fuck you olivia???? rude for what fucking reason damn >:/#oh speaking oh- i also really like veronica :3#OKAY UHM I THING THATS ENOUGH OF ME RANTING HAAH LMAO#ask answered?!#“sayori” talks!#sayori says dumb shit tag (favs)#theeee “who the fuck are you talking about.” tag for pretty unknown ocs
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