#i could probably reread 100 times

[themyscirah]

This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier

Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦‍♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags

[allisonreader]

Kind of random but the thought has just struck me again, because I have thought this or at least have known this on some level for many years, that I would write even if it never gets shared or even finished.

Like for years I wrote different things without sharing or necessarily even finishing most of what I started. And honestly, even though I'd love to write something publishable, I would survive easily by just sharing stuff online.

[whatsverstappeningnow]

how f1 drivers react

to your ex texting you out of nowhere

drivers mentioned: MV33, LN4, OP81, AA23, CS55, CL16, LH44, GR63

max verstappen

It's an awkward thing to bring up, but you didnt want to hide it. Eventually, you try to casually mention it while Max is making and he just… stops moving.

“What do you mean, he texted you? Why?”

He places the knife down and turns slowly to face you. He doesn’t overreact, but he does ask to see the message... and rereads it probably too many times. He's dead silent as his eyes scan the few words over and over, jaw clenched and eyesbrows furrowed.

“He knows you’re with me, right?”

And you assure him that he does. You're instragram is overrun with Max content and photos of you two together. I would be impossible to miss. Your relationship was anything but a secret.

"Fucking loser," he mutters to himself, voice filled with an almost cartoonish frusteration that makes you laugh lightly. The sound of it makes him crack the tiniest smile.

He doesn’t question you. Doesn’t blame. Doesn't ask why he isn't already blocked. He just hates that your ex would try to get in your head again.

“Want me to block him for you?” You agree. Max does it without a second thought.

He’s extra affectionate after: hand on your thigh, quiet forehead kisses. But it's not out of insecurity, its just to remind you he won't let anyone come into your life to hurt you again.

“He had his chance. He doesn’t get to come back into your life after what he did.”

lando norris

He sees your phone light up and casually leans down to read out the name to you, assuming its one of your friends or family checking in. All colour leaves his face when he realises why he recognises the name.

“Wait. Is that who I think it is??”

Suprised by his text youself, you tell him he's right. Immediate chaotic disbelief fills him, he can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“Man really thinks he can slide back in after I showed up? Delusional. Completely delusional!”

He's mostly joking, but at least 25% serious, when he offers to message you ex himself. Even suggests sending back a selfie of you in his hoodie just to drive the point home that your his now.

“Should I post a photo of us kissing? No? Okay. But like… I could. For fun.”

His arms curl around you from behind and his head comes to rest on your shoulder, whispering soft things in your ear to make you laugh and forget all about the text.

“He’s not worth the time, babe.”

oscar piastri

You mention it offhandedly while cuddling up on the couch, sit-com reruns playing quietly i nthe background, and Oscar just blinks.

“He texted you?”

He's quietly offended. More on your behalf than anything. He knows what this guy was like and he hates knowing that he's trying to be in your life again.

Doesn’t say much, instead he just holds you a little closer, a little tighter. He helps you delete or block, if you want to. But he doesn't push. It's 100% your decision. He doesn't feel threatened by this guy, just frustrated by his existence.

“You don’t owe him anything. Not even a reply. You know that.”

But it's impossble to miss how he becomes subtly more clingy for the rest of the day.

It's his way of marking territory without letting any jealous words slip out: holding your hand more often, brushing your hair back, soft kisses to you neck while you speak in hushed tones. More couch cuddles and a movie marathon are a requirement that night.

He's not jealous. Just protective.

“If he texts again, let me know. I’ll handle it.”

carlos sainz

You tell Carlos immedietly. The thought of keeping it a secret doesn't even cross your mind.

“He what?”

He leans back on the couch, crosses his arms, and raises one eyebrow like your ex just insulted his mother, his hair and his driving all at once.

“After all this time? What does he want, cariño?”

Doesn’t yell. Doesn’t joke. Just gets that dangerously calm tone. He's mature about it all but there is a distinct edge to his voice.

“No more replies. He had his chance. He doesn’t get to know you anymore.”

Kisses the inside of your wrist as he whipsers to you, holding you close.

“You don’t need to look back when I’m right here.”

You block him, Carlos doesn't have to even ask.

alex albon

He tries to play it cool when you mention it, its still early morning and he's wiping sleep dust from his eye as he speaks.

“Oh? That’s… random.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He tries to make a statement of 'not caring' and maturity by not asking to see the text. But later, once all the humour of the day has worn off, he sheepishly asks to see.

“Just making sure he doesn’t think he's got another chance with my girl. I wanna know what he thinks is so important to say that he had to text you.”

While his eyes scan the screen, he softly reminds you that you don't owe him anything. Not a reply, not a conversation. Nothing.

Gives you a hug from behind while you delete the message (more for his peace of mind than your own).

While he feels slightly bad for his jealously, he trusts you enough to laugh about it later on. He brings you snacks and cuddles to shift the mood, the safest boy to be loved by.

charles leclerc

When you show him the message, flipping the phone around for him to see while sat across from him at the breakfast table, and Charles’s smile disappears instantly.

“No. No, no, no.”

Suddenly he's up, pacing. Annoyed, but because he’s mad for you.

“If you don’t want to answer, you shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve a response,” he says confiendly, like a knight trying to defend your honor.

He stops suddenly in his tracks, wide eyes, and looks over at you.

"I mean, you don't want to respond... right? Ma chérie?" A hint of fear colours his words as his eyes search yours for answers.

Once you reassure him that you have no feelings for you ex, and definitiely do not want to be hearing from him, you block his number together.

Charles visibly relaxs once you do.

"He is stupid, non? It took him so long to realise what he lost. It is too late for him now. I have you all to myself." The kiss that comes next is just as sweet as his words.

lewis hamilton

You tell him while you’re out for a walk. He doesn't stop, no, but he... definitely slows. Like his mind is trying to catch up with your words.

“He reached out?”

Voice is low, calm. He's mature about it, even if the thought makes him uncomfortable. He makes sure you know this is about how you feel, not how he feels.

Listens carefully. Lets you speak.

“You okay?” he asks first. “I know he wasn't great to you. Do you want me to handle it?”

You know he won’t act unless you ask him to... but if you do... your ex will never try that again. It's a delisciosuly good thought, but you tell him you can handle it.

"Ok," he smiles and takes your hand, kissing the back of it as he picks up the pace again, "I trust you."

Later that night, he's holding you against his chest in bed, and you catch him looking at you like you hung the moon.

“He’s trying to come back because he knows what he lost. But I’m never letting go of what I found.”

george russell

“He did what?” The words come out sharper than he intends, you're sure of it. And while the anger isn't aimed at you, for a moment it feels like it is.

“Sorry. I just… he shouldn’t be contacting you. That’s so out of line.”

His expression quickly softens when he sees your face. “Hey. No, I’m not upset with you, love. Just at the situation. At him.”

He just stands beside you as you decide what to do, he doesn’t push. Doesn't force. Just supports. His hand rubs comforting circles on your lower back as you talk it all out.

“You want me to help you block him? Or I can just sit here while you do it. Or we can just delete it. Balls in you court, love.”

When he's curled up with you later,it's all warmth and soft affection. Soft kisses to your cheeks and lips, brushing you hair softly behind your ear.

“He doesn’t deserve your energy, or your time. I’ll always protect that.”

requests open <3

[shadykazama]

Hello! Your headcanons on Wukong/Destined One had me giggling so much 😊 they're so great, couldn't stop rereading.

Um, if it's alright, can I ask for some Wukong/Destined One x Reader with their baby? Feral daddy monkey in his nesting phase with his mate and baby is so— 🤭

Absolutely! I have a lot of thoughts and the people demand more monkey business- so let's get down to it.

❤ Wukong

Starting with the pregnancy~

He is ELATED.

The idea of a proper heir had never crossed his mind because well- he's immortal. He doesn't need one. But that doesn't mean the idea of his own flesh and blood isn't positively exciting.

There's a chance he knows you're pregnant before you do. What with all of his special powers and heightened senses.

Celebrates privately with you of course but it becomes a mountain-wide event very quickly.

You are showered with praise and blessings by all the monkeys.

He will never miss a chance to brag that he's going to have a baby. And he's definitely smug about it too, thinks your child is going to surpass even his power.

When you start showing he gets more smothering.

Don't forget our king's fatal flaw! He thinks he knows what's best.

Will limit how much you travel and makes sure you always have at least two attendants by your side while he's gone.

Which, once you get further along, isn't often. There were plenty of superstitions about pregnancy in ancient China, as well as a high infant mortality rate- and that's not even counting what complications could happen due to the magical nature of your child. So he'd be stressed.

He expresses stress through aggression (canon), though it's never pointed at you. He'd be fiercely protective over the mountain, but especially any of the areas you regularly stay in. He'd be very snappy at everyone for the entire second half of the pregnancy, except you of course, who he'd be showering with praise and reverence.

Likes holding your stomach while you rest and tells your baby about the great lineage they're being born into, recounting his titles and strength and promising them they'd be greater.

He's hoping for a boy, but he's assured his child will be spectacular regardless of the gender.

When you give birth he will be extremely focused. He can't afford to be weak in a moment when you need him most. (Though your cries of pain and effort will certainly make his heart ache.)

As you're holding your baby for the first time, his teasing, smug attitude is nowhere to be seen. He just looks at you as if you'd given him the universe itself.

Cutest baby ever might I add 👆.

It's a Chinese tradition that only immediate family is allowed to meet the baby for the first 100 days after it's born, so it'd just be you and him for a majority of three months unless you invite your family to meet them.

In traditional fashion, on the 100th day a banquet is held to officially introduce the baby to everyone. And MY GOD would it be an event...

Besides all of the monkeys on the mountain who want to celebrate their new prince/princess, I can't even imagine how many celestials and demons would come to pay their respects and blessings- be it out of fear or respect.

Either way, expect a very long day and a LOT of gifts.

^ Wukong doesn't leave your side for the entire day. I dare someone to try and pull something.

You'd expect with his trickster personality that he'd be a very lenient dad, but Wukong is surprisingly dutiful in making sure your child doesn't turn out lazy or ignorant.

That by no means is to say he wouldn't be a wonderfully playful father. He'd have a wonderful connection with his child, and his most important lesson to them would be to respect their mother ;)

More of a one kid kind of guy, so he'd probably stop after the first, unless you had twins or triplets.

As protective as he was with you when you were pregnant, he's pretty chill with the actual kid. He knows they're durable and will let them get roughed up doing dumb stuff.

Carries them around hanging off his tail and will pretend like he doesn't know where they went.

It's like how cats will let their babies 'sneak up on them' to encourage them to keep trying. He does the same thing with your kid when they try to trick him.

Your baby would be the most respectful little shit ever. A little shit nonetheless, but would do anything for you or their father.

All the monkeys on the mountain help keep an eye on the little sage so you'll never feel lost or alone in parenting. It's very much a joined effort and your baby will see the other monkeys as their family as well!

This wonderful piece of Sun Wukong was done by @kanade-howl here on tumblr! They post their work on Twitter as well at @kanaade_ and @_liehuzuo please support them!

💙 The Destined One

Give him a bunch of babies I beg you.

He'd get addicted, he wants a big family for SURE.

When you first tell him you're pregnant he'll probably take some time to fully soak it in.

You'll be used to being patient with him at this point, but I imagine something like this is really nerve wracking so don't feel bad if you rush him for a response.

He'll put a hand on your stomach as if he's checking for himself before picking you up and smothering you with love.

He's not a chatty guy but he'll let you know how happy he is!

^ That being said, during your pregnancies is the most talkative he'll ever be.

He doesn't want you to stress about communicating and knows your body is going through a lot so he pushes himself to talk more to make sure you get everything you need.

That doesn't mean he'll be a chatterbox by any means. More than nothing is still very slim :')

Expect a lot of one word questions.

Trusts you more than he trusts his own instincts. His instincts tell him you shouldn't be climbing or moving around much- but if you want to, who's he to tell you what to do? He's not the one pregnant 🤷‍♀️

Follows you around like a guard dog when you do though, doesn't matter what you're doing.

Somehow even more physically affectionate than normal. Will insist on holding your hand when you walk so you can lean your weight on him.

When you start showing he'll be amazed. It's not that he's never seen a pregnant person before but like... That's his baby in there and he can't believe it.

His favorite thing to do is lay his head against your stomach while you're resting. Will kiss your skin and adore the life you're making.

You can catch him whispering things to your baby while he's resting his head on your stomach.

Your body is going to ache and he is more than happy to massage it for you. He doesn't even need an excuse to touch you, but he'll find them anyway.

Once you get further along and it gets harder for you to get around, he'll pick you up and take your wherever you want to go- within reasonable distance from your home of course. Not because he can't take you further, he just doesn't want to in case something happens.

But he wants to make sure you get fresh air and still see the beauty outside of your bed.

Doesn't trust anyone to watch you. It's him or nothing.

Makes offerings and prays to the goddess of childbirth. He does this a few times before you catch him and start helping.

He's a bundle of nerves when you're giving birth. If you weren't preoccupied, it'd probably be painfully obvious how nervous he was.

Holds you while you hold your baby and will not stop telling you how much he loves you and how perfect the baby is.

Gets baby fever bad.

Baby will be spoiled, and so will any other baby after that.

Huge advocate for carrying the baby. If you're not opposed to it, he probably carries them more than you.

Has the most deadpan look on his face as he looks at this baby but he has so much adoration for his little miracle.

Stressing over your baby crying in the middle of the night? Not with him! He's at that babies beck and call.

Watching a nearly mute man deal with a curious child is definitely amusing and you get a front row seat.

Your children kind of just accept that their dad doesn't talk much, but he'll always tell them he loves them if they say it to him.

Takes them everywhere with him so he can teach them. Is SO proud when the oldest starts helping teach the younger ones.

He's proud of them in general honestly.

Your kids are going to be super loving and curious. I think he'd foster really healthy relationships between all of them.

You'd have a whole team taking care of you if you ever got sick.

[whatlurksbean]

Hello! I’ve been reading WLB from some time now, and I am still absolutely loving this comic every time.(on my 4th reread lol) WLB has inspired me greatly along with WC content and (also great!)creations by other creators to the point that I am almost about to script my own comic, with a few scenes that WLB had a huge influence on. Though, I can’t help but be a little overwhelmed when I actually think of creating one, mostly because of the fact I lack the skills to draw comics. Believe me, I am shit at panelling lol. But also l‘m a bit scared because even if I actually end up making my own series it absolutely could end up flopping and that would probably make me lose enthusiasm. I don’t necessarily want to make money out of my comics but rather show others my stories and characters that I love, but I have a history of making and posting oc art just for nobody to watch and kinda giving up.(even though I’m aware of the fact that this happens to practically everyone all the time, it still hurts) The (real)question is if there is some advice you can give to beginner/wanna-be comic artists, and how did you feel when you first posted The Recruit if that’s your first comic. I’m sorry if this sounds like a vent, and feel free to pass this if you want-just know you’re a great inspiration for many people. Stay safe, remember that YOUR well being is number one, and Love from Korea♥♥

Hello! I'm very glad you've enjoyed WLB!

A webcomic can for sure be a daunting and overwhelming thing. Most artists are a one man show, and knowing how to do Every Aspect Perfectly is an impossible task. I think it's important to remember everyone starts somewhere, and it is hard to get better unless you Start.

I mean, the first comic pages I drew digitally looked like this.

The comic lasted 6 pages before I got tired of it, and then I started The Recruit.

(which was over 430 pages long and started and had quite a style/writing change throughout the 7 years I worked on it)

You learn so much by just doing. There are a lot of helpful free resources online now a days to make the learning faster! There are tutorials on how to panel! And I think just reading comics in general is a great source of learning. Pay attention to the things you like (paneling, simplification process, color palettes ) and implement them in your work!

I think it's really important to figure out the level of detail you want the comic to be. I don't think it's wise or sustainable to put 100% effort into every aspect of it. It will burn you out. It's good to consider what level of shading (if any) you'll be willing to do for hundreds of panels, what level of background detail, how many colors the characters should have, and figure out what your focus is.

I've met a lot of comic artists over the years, EVERYONE has a different method or different focus. Creating is not a universal experience!

As for having your work be seen, it is honestly a lot of luck. Back in the day for TR I would just submit to all of the deviantart warrior cat groups and people would find it that way. deviantart groups are pretty dead now so I am unsure if that is any good now.

I personally really think ComicFury is a wonderful place for new artists. It's default page always shows the latest comic, so everyone always has an equal chance to be seen. You can be on the front page every 12 hours (i think, it might be 24..) and with a striking icon and consistent posting, you WILL find people.

It's not the largest site, but it is my favorite for comics.

I do not like the mindset of a comic "flopping." I think it takes time to build an audience. It is very unlikely for people to find your comic overnight, it will very likely take at least a few months of consistent posting to find a few engaged readers. I know it sucks to feel like no one is seeing your work, but it's just something that takes time.

Cat comics do tend to find readers faster though, so if that is your goal, I do hope you find success!

You could also post your updates in comic/art related places, like discords or post panels on bluesky or instagram. really any site or app that posts an image.

I also think consistent uploading is a strong key to building an audience. And to do this, it really helps to have a backlog. Meaning you draw like the first 10-20 pages of you comic (or however many) and upload one or two pages a week. The more your comic is seen popping up on their feed, the more likely people will be to finally click it. I usually do not click on comics I see once or twice, it usually takes a few weeks of me seeing it pop up before i decide to check it out. (talking about on Comicfury to be clear)

Once you've established you are dedicated to your comic, people do not mind if you take breaks. (and if they do, fuck em)

Also, having a community of friends or creators is a huge motivator. Show your work to friends! Share in a community of comic creators! Some things my friends have said to me about my comics has lifted my creative spirit more than anything.

This is turning into some 3am ramblings but to summarize my points:

•Find a style that will work for you to sustain a comic. (do not make 100% effort art pieces)

•Upload on comicfury (great comic site, equal opportunity for new comics) (I would also cross post to other platforms and link back to CF as a primary comic site)

•Work on some pages in private, so you can upload consistently once you begin your comic! (I would update daily for maybe a week and then switch to weekly pages, just to get the best chance of being seen + consistent posting. so that would be good to have at least 10 pages of backlogs. 7 for the first week, plus 3 weeks of backlog at that rate)

and the point most dear to my heart;

•Don't be scared of change.

I know a lot of folk wait and wait to make their comic until they are perfect artists or writers, but like, you'll never make anything if you wait for that. Change is so natural and normal in webcomics, in all art really. I think if you shade for 10 pages and decide you hate it, it's okay to change how you shade or drop it entirely. Change your art style. Change how you panel pages. Change how you do backgrounds. Change anything and everything you want. Enjoy the process and tell the story you want to tell.

Best of luck on your comicing journey, I hope you really enjoy it.

[judasgot-it]

I don't know if you're getting a request, but I have a request. Do you remember your post about how mushitarou and ango could be a father of a girl or a boy? Can you make the dazai and Fyodor version of that post?

Reread that post. I say bro so often, what is wrong with me?

Fyodor (girl dad)

Given that he is Russian and an old freak, he probably spoils the hell out of his daughter. But is also very strict - perfect grades, must learn 3 languages and play 3 instruments, and has to know how to shoot a gun perfectly.

I think he shows affection, but because he is just used to being manipulative, their relationship might be strained

He's not one to play games with his children. he's kind but he simply carries a serious energy; his daughter learns philosophy at a very young age thanks to this

doesn't mean he cant have fun. I think he would enjoy the silly things she makes, like friendship bracelets. he will keep it on for life I swear

Good chance she will turn out like him. Don't argue with her, it's like trying to argue with a lawyer. Fyodor is undeniably proud of this though

I think that he would let her get away with being a total bitch quite often. He has limits, but he also just can't take her complaints seriously. For him it's like a chihuahua trying to be a guard dog

Doesn't matter if she's 4 or 34, he sees no difference. It's never something worth taking seriously for him

Due to his age and experience, I think he would be freakish about some things. Like there is a 0% chance that he would let her have a boyfriend, and all of her friends would have to be vetted through him

I don't think he would really introduce her to the 'normal' world - he's lived for centuries, so he's seen empires and their laws fail time and time again. In his mind, there is no 'normal', since that definition can change quickly. he does no expect her to have children nor does he expect her to be married. but that might also be because he can't picture anyone being worthy of marrying his daughter

He also wants her to be able to defend herself. If she has an ability then he's even more concerned; that's probably his worst nightmare as a parent

If her mother is in the picture I think that would cause his relationship with his daughter to be even more strained. I don't think he would be an active father, since distance might be the best way to protect them

Fyodor knows more about his daughter than she knows about him. just a fact.

Nikolai might be an 'uncle' to her. Or at least somewhat active in her life.

Gonna be honest, I think Fyodor would make her think that he's a better person than he really is.

If she ever gets involved in the world of crime and abilities like he is then 100% he is stalking her every move and will be there to protect her if necessary. Is it weird? yes. but he's just being a dad.

I dont think his daughter would ever fully know him as a person. then again, does Fyodor even know himself?

Boy dad

If you thought he was strict before, then now it's even worse

He knows what he is capable, so he would expect the same from his son. Which is dangerous, because Fyodor knows the extent of his own crimes

Not to say that he doesn't love him. No, he obviously does

but there is a high chance that they would not get along together. even though his son might be exactly like him; smart, manipulative, and a little crazy. perhaps they're just too similar.

his son will likely be a total mama's boy. I just feel it in my bones.

it would be cute when he's young, but once he's older Fyodor would start to hate it. perhaps because he wont have full control over him

I feel like in general Fyodor would struggle to be a good parent to his kids; they know too much about him, and because of that, they don't fall easily for his tactics. They are his strongest enemies

A positive; Fyodor would have the same hobbies as his son. And it's one of the best ways for them to bond. catch them playing some songs together and you'll understand just how they're related

I think Fyodor wouldnt view his son as an equal unless proven wrong. He has high expectations, which would likely strain their relationship

he loves him though. but i think because he's so aware of his own cruelty that he almost lives in fear of someone just like him. almost.

Dazai (girl dad)

He'd struggle. like, a lot

Unlike Fyodor, who doesn't take his daughter too seriously, Dazai 100% would

to a scary amount. like, she might threaten to stop talking to him ever again because she's 4 and having a tantrum and it might actually cause Dazai to have a breakdown. good luck getting them both to calm down

Fatherhood might actually kill Dazai. because he hates himself and he would be convinced all the time that his daughter hates him

Is it healthy? no. absolutely not

he'll gladly play along with her games though. he'd probably play along with her too well; he'd have his own dress and everything for tea parties. he also is a big fan of her 'girl' shows

are they good? absolutely not but its fun to tease her about it. unironically watches bad dramas with her

cried when she made him a bad drawing of them holding hands. its stupid but he never could picture someone calling him 'best friend' genuinely.

the agency is 100% involved with her life.

Kunikida would probably be more responsible for her then Dazai. doesn't mean he's a bad father, but I think Dazai would struggle with the simple childhood joys

The agency is like her second family; everytime she comes back from school she'll right there. she's a near permanent fixture in the office

She might want to grow up to be just like them. Dazai absolutely shuts this down; he dgaf if she has an ability or not. although she will continue to try anyway

Dazai has no idea how to encourage a child to be better though. I feel like Kunikida and Fukuzawa would encourage her to go through higher education more than Dazai would

while not always there, I think she'll be aware of the port mafia. Does she know Dazai's connection with it? one day yes, but by god does she never tell her father

He knows that she knows, but that conversation would probably be extremely difficult for him. I think there's a lot of "I know that you know" between them, but they're both too careful to do anything

if she starts a fight with him then it's an absolute nightmare for the both of them. I think his daughter might have a sense of hyper independence and will start to argue with him very early

They both get over it. eventually. but there would likely be a long period of where his daughter will know the right things to say to hurt him. Dazai knows to be better now, but he isn't sure of the right alternative.

there might be a chance that his daughter would have mental health issues like him. which is terrifying, and might be the one reason why Dazai tries to take care of himself more. It's not a good example for a kid to see their father try to drown himself afterall.

gonna be honest though I think Dazai would use his daughter as a way to connect with Odasaku. while she might not be an orphan, he'll find that he can understand the pain Oda went through before his death

That probably terrifies him even more honestly. because now he knows just how bad that feeling is. like it's the shit that keeps him up at night

but all in all, I think he would have a good relationship with her. they both can bury the hatchet at least.

Boy dad

I think it's mostly similar to raising a daughter

But it's just a little easier; he has experience in shaping young men, so at least when his son is older he knows he won't struggle so much

He is kind to his son. but also more distant

unfortunately a lot of his experience works with those who are already broken. which means that there is likely a long period in his son's early years where he won't know the best answer to a person who never experienced the torture he did

there's a critical age in his son's life where they empathize with one another though. probably after a stupid breakup.

I think his son would make the bad mistake of assuming that his father knows nothing about his life or how bad he has it. which ends soon enough, but that doesn't mean it bridges the gap it caused

His son might end up more like Kunikida, which is both a blessing and a nightmare. a blessing because he is responsible and makes sure that his father is alive everyday, and a nightmare because he is far too capable as a person and can see Dazai's flaws as clear as day

There is a strange thing where his son is simply different from his father. Kind of like Atsushi, who wants to assume the best in people first. And will find that he cares little for romantic pursuits.

he might not care enough. Dazai knows how attractive he is, and his son certainly inherited it. but his son cares little for it, becoming rather serious and focused on his own pursuits

is it a bad thing? not necessarily. but its a tool to Dazai, one that's helped him time and time again. for him it feels like his son is throwing away opportunities that could only favor him

not to say that his son is incapable of manipulation. but he values the truth far more, which leads to him preferring to brute force his way through problems and situations

in a situation where Dazai would manipulate his way to the top, his son would simply slam the truth in front of him and expect everyone to follow the solution he sees as best

i can imagine it being very frustrating for them both. His son sees through his manipulation and Dazai knows that his son is right about how to solve his problems

its like telling a smoker that smoking is bad for them. its a constant struggle

they get along though. they have their differences but in the end of the day, dazai knows his son could survive without him and doesn't see the need to watch over him like a hawk

[ot3]

have u read the homestuck epilogues? what do u think of them if u have? and do u have thoughts on june egbert

when the epilogues originally dropped, i read candy but i did not go on to read meat because the experience of being a homestuck fan at the release of the epilogues was a pretty miserable and i saw no reason to prolong it.

i did not categorically hate everything the epilogues were attempting to do but i think they are fundamentally and irredeemably flawed for one extremely big reason: you can not release something as the official continuation of a work while also insisting it is not a piece of the canon. it felt like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too in a way that completely undermined the entire work. they released it with faux-ao3 tagging/styling, but weren't brave enough to actually release is on ao3. it had to be elevated Above fanwork, but if you got too upset about it they could always just point out 'well we said it wasn't canon' to deflect legitimate criticism. plain and simple, it all felt like cowardice. release something intentionally designed to provoke and antagonize a dedicated fanbase and then retreat to twitter to complain about how nobody can understand and appreciate REAL, SERIOUS, QUEER ADULT CHARACTER WRITING. but like. real, serious queer adult character writing still needs to be good and I'm not sure the homestuck epilogues Were that. having characters you know to be 100% fictional and are now being written by a brand new set of people pretty much look at the camera and say "if you think my character writing is OOC it's only because you don't respect my interiority as a human being" rang extremely fucking hollow to me.

i think it should be obvious to anyone who has been following me for any amount of time that i don't want or need sanitized and saccharine character writing to be pleased and my issue was not that the epilogues were dark, it was that they felt confused and contrived.

being a homestuck fan took up all of the formative years of my life, without exaggeration. it was the main thing i was into from ages 14-21 and has been incomparably important to me. so it's next to impossible for me to separate my feelings about my epilogues from what it felt like to be a homestuck fan during the absolute clusterfuck of these things dropping, especially since i haven't revisited them since. one event in particular that really soured me was an official homestuck team member who i was decently good friends with asking me to delete tweets i made criticizing some aspects of the epilogues. i found to be an extremely unprofessional to do as someone who is on the payroll of an IP speaking to a fan of that work, regardless of whatever terms we may have been on. additionally, i found the way she + the epilogues writers responded to criticism of the epilogues from the pretty significant demographic of teen fans on twitter to be at best condescending and at worst actively cruel.

it felt like a bunch of people who wrote shock fiction about a beloved cast of characters - something they were fully within their right to do, to be clear - but then could not handle the extremely predictable reception to it. my eventual homestuck reread is penciled in for 2029 and if i can bring myself to [re]read the epilogues at that time, im going to. we will see how my feelings change then

as for june egbert: love her, but this is once again soured by the way post-mspa era homestuck treats the concept of canonicity. john egbert is my number one favorite fictional character of all time. if you tell me "great news, she's a girl now" i am in fact overjoyed by that. i think its something that adds a lot of texture to the character. but i don't like people treating it like it's canon when it just simply isn't. i don't think you get points for portraying a transfem character until you have actually... portrayed a transfem character. i do not keep up with hs2 for reasons that are probably pretty obvious so i'm not sure if anything has changed, but to the best of my knowledge june egbert is not yet canonical there either. it's very frustrating.

but you see what i mean about canonicity: ignore the fact that we haven't discussed june egbert's gender in a single actual piece of fiction. the toblerone says she's real so she is! ignore the fact that the homestuck epilogues are official works that were on the shelves at barnes and fucking noble, they're "beyond canon" because weve put AO3 headers on. it feels like lategame homestuck treats canonicity like a switch it can flip completely independent of the works they are making, in whatever way is convenient for them. if the HS2 team (shoutout to floral, one of the best to ever do it and nobody deserves to be writing homestuck more than them) ever does get around to making june egbert canon, i will be standing by to pop bottles.

[jhilsara]

Of Bookstore, Coffees, and Late Nights

Sunshine!Reader/Southern!Reader/Plus Sized!Reader

Summary: After Spencer is shot he can't do much in the field for a while, being stuck to the offices in Quantico. His insomnia starts to amp up and instead of an urge for McDonald's at 1 AM he finds himself desperate for a new book and a coffee. Somehow, he finds the Midnight Owl, the late night bookstore/cafe open at weird hours with a cute southern co owner who probably gets the same amount of sleep as he does.

She also makes the best coffee that is disgustingly sweet. Exactly how he likes it.

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: Mentions of Season 5 100 episode and canon typical BAU themes

|Next

The one with the late night bookstore    

If Spencer could pace, he would, but his new semi-permanent crutch situation was impeding his mobility. He hasn’t been able to sleep, much less relax with the knowledge of Hotch being stabbed by George Foyet in his own home. Or how it’s clear that Foyet is playing an extreme game with the BAU, but mostly Hotch. Spencer didn’t even want to think about poor Haley and Jack being thrown into witness protection. These were scenarios Spencer knew came with the job he does, but seeing it happen to people he knows and cares about, makes his stomach churn. He couldn’t imagine if it was his own mother being threatened. It sends a cold chill down his back. He needs a distraction.    

Spencer’s eyes drag over to his used and abused bookshelf. Looking through his collection trying to find something to read. Even for a distraction he’s not very interested in rereading any of the texts on his shelf. His go to comfort of Sherlock Holmes doesn’t even seem all that appealing at the moment. He needs something that isn’t about criminals or detectives right now. Too bad nothing else on his shelf seemed to catch his eye. Spencer eyes his clock and the analog clock on his wall tells him it’s two in the morning. He’d be lucky if anything besides a dingy twenty-four-hour cafe was open, much less a bookstore.    

He sighs and looks over at his discarded laptop on his desk. He boots it up to see if maybe he could at least check how early the library opened. He could try to sleep but his insomnia was eating away at him, trying to focus on anything else but work seemed harder and harder. Spencer had to get out of his apartment. He looks up the library hours as well as a few bookstores. Just trying to see how soon he could sit down and avoid the never-ending running of his brain. He’s surprised when he finds a bookstore that was advertising its hours as open. Surely that was wrong. He spots the phone number on the webpage, and he decides to call to double check.    

The line rings for roughly two seconds before it’s picked up, a melodic voice on the other line states, “Midnight Owl, this is Y/N how can I help you?” The cadence of the woman’s voice much too chipper for the middle of the night.    

Spencer’s shocked into silence for a moment before he responds, “I thought the hours posted were wrong...” He finds himself stating.   

“Nope!” She replies, unbothered by his blunt response. “We’re open 24/5, only closed on Fridays and Saturdays!” She tells him brightly, “You wouldn’t be the first to call thinking we posted our hours wrong though. More common than you think.”    

He coughs awkwardly and finds himself nodding even though she can’t see it. “Okay, great, thank you so much.”    

“Not a problem, swing by some time we have the best drinks crafted by yours truly!” She jokes with a soft laugh trailing her sentence. She drawls out the end of her words in a way that has them twisting together as sweet as the tea he’s almost positive she drinks.   

“Have a good night.” He states before hanging up the phone.    

He looks at the address listed and finds that it’s just up the street, barely a block away.    

Spencer eyes his crutches for a moment debating on whether he should go or not. His good leg shakes in anxious movements as he sits on his couch. What were the odds that there was a bookstore up his block that was open at odd hours that catered to him? He knew the odds; they were incredibly low . He shrugs to himself and hobbles to grab his crutches, he’ll check it out. Why the hell not? If it’s too good to be true he can add it to the list of places he’ll never visit again like that one coffee shop downtown that burns everything he’s ever ordered.    

He desperately needs to get out of his apartment.    

-   

Y/N’s night at the Midnight Owl was going slowly. You had a few regulars wander in, which you were happy about since the store had only officially been open for four months. There was a couple that sat on the loveseat in the cafe every Thursday night reading their books together and drinking the cafe’s famous homemade lavender lemonade. Not that you could brag about it, your co-owner makes pastries and premade drinks. All homemade family recipes. On the opposite side of the store was the guy who came in every other day to check for anything new. He grabs a coffee and roams the stacks for an hour. Sometimes he buys, sometimes he doesn’t. He comes in at the same time though, so you’re pretty sure he works a graveyard shift.    

There were a couple of students at a table in the cafe section clearly up studying and writing papers. The semester for school had only just started a month ago, but the influx of students coming and going was increasing by the day.    

You loved your little bookstore, and during the day it was popping. A rising trendy place for local university students. You preferred the quiet of the nights though. It gave you time to make orders for books, restock, and change out displays. It was methodical cleaning and sorting that kept you sane. Your daytime life was overly complicated and having your own corner of the world was nice. It felt like a safe bubble that didn’t necessarily feel like work.    

You’re in the middle of compiling a list of books to reorder that have already sold out when the front doorbell chimes telling her someone just entered. You are behind a stack finishing what you're writing on your notepad when you calls out, “Be right there!”    

You bound around the stack to the counter to meet the newcomer, “Welcome in! How can I help you?” you asked happily pushing your hair behind your ear nervously.    

You scan the guy from head to toe, he’s definitely new. He looks like a grad student, probably around your age. His mousy brown hair is tied back into a low ponytail and he’s in a well-worn Caltech shirt and sweatpants. The oddest thing about him is the crutches he’s sporting as he comes in. You send him a warm smile.   

Spencer looks at the woman standing at the counter and finds you’re not what he expected you to be. You look like the moon; you have features that are soft and delicate, and your eyes shine with the bright ambience of the bookstore. Spencer almost loses his train of thought as he takes in the bookstore worker’s features that just made you seem so inviting.    

It takes a second before he registers that you asked him a question. “Oh, yes,” he rushes out awkwardly. “Is the cafe still open?” He questions, tilting his head to the empty-looking bar on the other side.    

You nod happily, “It is! I’m the only one who works the night shift, so I run the register and the cafe. Would you like something?” you ask him, already walking toward the counter that holds the cabinet of pastries and coffee machines.    

“A latte would be great actually.” He says in a much clearer voice.    

“Can do.” You grin at him radiantly and it’s so infectious he finds himself returning one. You turn and almost have a skip to your step as you walk, far too awake for him to deem reasonable for two in the morning.    

Spencer watches her as he slowly moves forward on his crutches, she almost dances around the machines as she makes his latte. She’s humming to the music that he’s finally registered playing in the bookstore. She’s radiating a warmth that Spencer doesn’t get to see much day to day except for the one and only, Penelope Garcia. Garcia looked and acted like the sun, one giant ball of pink and blonde energy. He watches the worker move around her workstation making his latte and it’s seamless how she moves, it’s her second nature.  She’s just at ease here, which settles his uneasy nerves about trying a new place out in the middle of the night. He looks around and sees a few people mingling about.   

Spencer takes time to look around the store and notices how it feels much more lived in than any box stores he’s been to. The overhead lights aren’t fluorescent like a normal store but a few well-placed wooden chandeliers that are carved to look like vines. Every other light is a floor light or table lamp that has mismatched covers and stained glass. He turns to the large windows, and he guesses the store probably gets great sunshine when it’s daylight. The multiple house plants by the window and on the empty tables being a good indicator. The ambiance is so inviting, not to mention the amount of comfortable faux leather seating he sees.    

He could imagine spending a lot of time here, it was just so cozy. Spencer can’t imagine he would have missed this place opening but with all the cases they’ve been busy with, he actually isn’t surprised at all.    

He’s brought out of his thoughts by her placing the drink on the pickup bar, “So what ails you?” Your voice carries to him, and you tilt your head waiting patiently.   

“Excuse me?” He finds himself stuttering out.   

You shrug nonchalantly, “Well, it’s the middle of the night and I’ve never seen your face in here before.” You state the fact like it's so obvious.    

“So, what’s buggin’ you?” Your voice drawls out sweetly as you look at him expectantly.   

It’s almost like the lights in the cafe frame her from behind, bright and dazzling. She’s clearly personable and Spencer isn’t used to people with Y/N’s personality being overtly kind to him. He’ll see how long it takes her to dismiss him like most people do. It doesn’t annoy him like it used to, he expects it really. Especially when his own team and friends do it almost regularly.    

You are waiting patiently for his response with unwavering kind eyes.   

“Insomnia,” He settled on admitting to you, he gave you a tight lined frown. “I needed a new book; I’ve read through my catalog.”    

Your eyes light up, “That’s my specialty! I mean, I make a mean latte, but my favorite part of this place is the books.” you whispered conspiratorially.    

“So,” you come around from the back of the bar and put your hands on your hips, “What genre were you looking for? Or was it a specific book?” you ask him.    

“Fantasy, preferably. I’ve read all of Tolkien and Gaiman’s works.” He tells you.    

You nod in understanding your eyes giving a quick look of him from head to toe, “You look like a man who’s read The Hobbit and American Gods .” You said, almost more so to herself.    

Spencer gives you a quizzical look, unsure if he should be insulted or not. You read his face and your own cheeks flush with embarrassment. Your hands start moving exaggeratedly as your voice pitches, “Not in a bad way! I promise, I’m here for a well-read person! Not that you have to have read those two authors to be well read, I just-” You take a deep breath and stop yourself.    

“Sorry, I just mean, you look like you’ve probably read some of the most popular titles in that genre.” Your voice grows smaller, and your face is bright in a flush as you rush through your words, drawling them out in that voice that sounds like sugar. You bite the inside of your cheek forcing yourself to stop talking.    

Spencer chuckles and shakes his head, “I get it, you’re good.” He tells you reassuringly.    

You sigh in relief, pushing your hair out of your face nervously, “Sorry, I really didn’t mean anything by it. I just meant you probably want something different and not recommended every time you ask for fantasy.”    

Spencer just gives you a smile, “I appreciate it.” He shifts his weight on his crutches to awkwardly sip his latte.    

You usher him over to one of the comfortable chairs with a nice side table lamp that has beautiful green and red stained-glass roses on it.    

“Here sit, I’ll grab some recommendations, and you can let me know what you think.” You don’t even give him a chance to rebuttal before you’re off and disappear into the stacks.    

The silence that followed her absence was overwhelmingly loud, except for the soft music playing from the speakers. Spencer takes his time drinking his latte and it’s delicious. Better than the place the BAU grabs coffee from, and much better than whatever was in their coffee pot at the office.    

You pop back out from the stacks within ten minutes holding at least five book options for him to sort through.    

“These all have different sub-genres but are fantasy in nature. Let me know if any look good to you.” You hand them over to him happily. He notices you biting the inside of your cheek again, as you watch him look over the books.    

You’re rocking on your feet, as you watch Spencer thumb through the books, reading the summaries keeping his face neutral. You start picking at your nails trying not to seem like a dog waiting for its owner. You should busy yourself with something else besides trying to gauge Spencer’s reaction to the books, but you can’t help it.   

Spencer pauses on a book with a bright colorful cover that was in the middle of the stack. It’s the only one he pauses on and your face lights up.    

“I loved Howl’s Moving Castle !” Your voice pitches up in enthusiasm. You start talking with your hands again, “It’s fun, and the cast of characters who, in a magical world, feel so relatable. The two leads also have great dialogue! I was genuinely laughing out loud.” Your face splits into a grin as you explain the book to Spencer without spoiling anything.    

You are so filled with joy as you talk about the book, it doesn’t take him but a second of listening to you to know he’s sold. He’s reading this, your genuine joy selling him on it. He doesn’t have to look through the rest of the stack, though he’s sure you’ve likely read all the books you offered him.   

“I’ll take it.” He said, moving to stand up to purchase it at the counter.    

You move to stop him, “Don’t worry about it! You can pay on your way out. You look like you’ve been struggling with those crutches.” You tell him waving him back down to sit.    

“Just relax, drink and read. It’s what the Midnight Owl’s for.” You chirp happily shooting him a triumphant look as you move to walk back to the counter.    

You go back to working on creating an order for books back at the checkout counter. You have the work desktop open back to the list of books you were cross referencing for prices. You go back and forth from looking at your handwritten list to researching prices from different distributors.    

The couple who was there earlier finally get up, waving goodbye to Y/N.    

“Have a great night y’all! See you next week.” You tell them with your own wave that’s brief as you make the order.    

The only noise in the store is some shuffling and the music playing overhead and you humming along to it. It’s a mix CD you burned a few years back and most of the songs are still your favorite. You keep meaning to make a new one, but you just haven’t had time. Your eyes wander from your computer to check on your new customer reading in the corner. You don’t want to hover, but you try to gauge if he’ll be a regular or not. You hope so, he seemed nice enough.    

Spencer can feel her eyes on him occasionally, he can see her fidgeting behind the counter. Every other song he can spot her leaning out of the corner of his eye to look over to him. He tries to hide his grin; he knows that look well. She’s trying to see if he’s enjoying the book. Spencer tries to read at a normal pace, even though he can read twenty thousand words per minute, that defeats the purpose of him trying to get out of his apartment to just devour this book. Plus, he kind of enjoys watching the store clerk.   

She’s full of energy and he has no idea where it comes from, but it’s almost a nervous energy. She’s constantly moving, either fidgeting or walking through the stacks to check or tidy the books. She’s also passed in front of him a few times to check the cafe machines or even grab a pastry he’s sure has been there for too long, and she feels bad about selling it.    

Spencer stays there for a few hours; he really doesn’t notice how long until the door opens and the bell chimes again.    

“Morning!” The new woman cheers sleepily.    

You wave at her, “Morning Josie. There are still a few pastries left from yesterday, but I put them in the back fridge for you.”   

The new woman, Josie, waved back, “Thanks, I’m going to prep for today.”    

Spencer finally looks at the time and realizes it’s five in the morning, he sighs standing up. He grabs his crutches and pushes himself toward the counter to pay for his book. If he’s lucky he could get an hour or two of a nap before work.    

He gently slides the book over to you and your whole face brightens, “Have you liked it so far?” you asked him.    

Spencer grins “It’s charming. You were right about the cast; it’s a great blend of characters that shouldn’t fit as well as they do together.”    

You nod excitedly. “I don’t know if you’ve gotten to a certain part, but I won’t spoil it, I loved how they explain the magic that affects Sophie! It was a fun book.”   

Spencer hands over some cash to pay for his book. “I’ve liked it so far. I’ll have to ask for another recommendation.” He tells you.    

If you were a dog, your ears would be pointed up and tail wagging, you cannot contain your pure joy.    

“Absolutely! Anytime, it’s one of my favorite things.” You push your hair back and you look down at the table nervously pushing his book back toward him with his change.    

“I’m always happy to see a returning face.” You said looking up at him, your eyes sparkling. “I’m Y/N by the way, I don’t know if I introduced myself.”   

Spencer takes the book and his change; you smile brilliantly at him, and he feels a little enchanted by the bookstore clerk. He returns it. “Spencer. It was nice to meet you.”    

He gives you a small wave before walking out, crutches pushing him forward.    

The one about Halloween    

You have decided that you do not care if it’s only September, you are decorating for Halloween. Maybe it’s that you’re festive or maybe it’s from growing up in a southern community that went all out for decorations, but you are determined that the Midnight Owl will be the place to be for October. You’ve also planned a few events for the spooky month for all ages.    

There are a few reading hours planned for children during the day, costume contests, and some trick or treat candy lined up to buy. Your shopping list was filling up quickly. For the nighttime events you’ve gotten together with Josie to throw a movie night every Sunday night at eight in October. You’ve already planned a lineup of movies to play and popcorn to order. You still can’t decide on having two movies or not, a family friendly one first and then a scary one. She’ll figure it out.    

To say that you are bubbling with excitement is an understatement.    

You're in the middle of dragging out one of the boxes of decorations from the attic when the door chimes open.     

“Welcome in! Help yourself to shop or if you wait a few minutes, I can fix you a drink at the cafe!” You shout from behind the large box you’re carrying. It’s not heavy, filled mostly with paper and plastic decorations. The box itself is just quite large, and it blocks your view when you walk.   

“What are you doing?” A soft chuckle passes through, and you recognize it immediately. It’s your new favorite regular.    

You set the box down in a huff behind the counter and look at Spencer exasperatedly.   

“If you must know, I’m preparing for Halloween.” You said matter-of-factly.    

Spencer’s hazel eyes light up, the same way he gets when he’s about to tell you a long list of facts about something. You love it when he gets excited. It’s contagious.   

“Oh, please continue then. It’s never too early for Halloween.” He said happily.   

You let out a burst of laughter and it echoes in the room, “Thank you! Finally, someone who understands.” You tease him.   

Spencer’s been coming in almost every night since his first visit. It’s only been a month, but you love talking to Spencer. He’s full of endless information and he loves to read just as much, if not more, than you do.    

He has an unfair advantage though. He had admitted how quickly he could read to you in passing a few weeks ago and your jaw dropped. You didn’t believe him at first.    

-   

 “Okay, that’s the fifth book you’ve finished in like two days Spencer. Are you even actually reading them?” You had teased him, when he returned to the shelves looking through the selections.    

“Of course I do. I just happen to read twenty thousand words per minute.” He said easily running his fingers along the spines of the books as he pursues.    

You scoff, “Yea right.” you rolled your eyes. “Just say you skim through them.”   

Spencer shakes his head, “I’m serious, I have an eidetic memory too.” he said.    

You blinked at him a few times in disbelief before just bursting into a fit of small giggles.   

“Wow, I wish I could read that fast. I’d get through my TBR so much faster!” you said impressed.    

Spencer pauses looking at you, trying to assess if you're trying to make fun of him or not. Your face is split into a wide grin, and he realizes you are intrigued by this little tidbit. You didn't think it was weird, that he’s weird.    

Spencer felt his face flush a bit, and he just shrugged it off. “It’s not a big deal.”    

“No, it’s just a really cool fact about you.” You said, like it was obvious.    

Spencer mouth tighten into a fine line, and he shook his head, “That would be a first.” he had mumbled under his breath.    

You didn’t press him, but you did file away in the back of your mind his response for later. Clearly Spencer wasn’t used to someone reacting positively to this tidbit about him.    

-   

You look at Spencer as he stands there watching you. He’s in his work clothes, which you're used to by now, but it’s the opposite of what he wore when they first met. He’s in a purple button up shirt that he’s rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. His cardigan is hanging off his faded brown leather satchel sitting against his hip. He’s leaning on his crutches as she assesses him.    

“C’mon,” you said waving for him to follow. “Let’s make something fall flavored to get rolling with the season.” You suggest a small smile tugging at your lips.    

Spencer just nods and follows you toward the cafe section.    

“Are you a fan of pumpkin flavors or do you prefer other autumn flavors?” You ask him as you walk around the counter to the coffee machines.   

The pickup counter for the cafe doubles as a normal place to sit and Spencer grabs a stool to sit in, leaning his crutches against the counter.   

“I only like my drinks sweet. Flavor isn’t too important.”    

You hum in acknowledgement and get to work on making him a drink. “I’ll just surprise you then.”    

Spencer brings out a few books he’s reading and places them on the table. While you make his drink you ask, “What’s your favorite book to read to get into the spooky spirit?”    

He perks up, “There’s plenty of options, I think I prefer something classic like The Shinning or maybe even an old compilation of ghost stories. Those are always good.” he said passionately.    

“Ooh! I’m obsessed with the paranormal!” you gasp in excitement.   

Spencer feeds into the enthusiastic response, “Did you know there are a multitude of categories of the paranormal? Most people only associate it with ghosts or demons, but ufology and cryptozoology are also subcategories. Personally, as interesting as ghost or demon possession stories are, I’m far more fascinated by cryptozoology and the creatures that different areas of the world claim to see and state they have proof of.”    

Spencer realizes he’s rambling and tries to cut himself off, but your eyes are wide as you actively lean against the counter giving him your rapt attention.    

You notice his abrupt stop and you tilt your head, “Keep going, you have my full attention! I’m trying to get into the spooky spirit!” You drawl out, your rich accent seeping through.    

You turn to grab his drink and hand it to him. It's in a nice burnt orange colored mug, “It’s a maple chai latte. Felt like fall to me.” you said quietly, having a matching mug with him. You lean against the counter and bat your hand at his forearm.   

“C’mon tell me more!” you giggled.    

Spencer stared at you in awe for a moment, before he tried to hide his expression through drinking his latte.    

“Ghost hunting became popular in the early 2000s, but it’s been around since the 1920’s and even before then there were popular ghost stories told throughout history! Humans have always been interested in the afterlife which is why we’re probably so fascinated by looking for proof of the afterlife.”   

You nod and sips from your own mug, “Have you ever watched those ghost hunting shows before?” you asked curiously.    

Spencer shook his head no. “I don’t watch a lot of television.”    

You hum in thought, “Yeah, that checks out. Well, they’re super cheesy and trashy. Love them to be honest.”    

“Which one’s your favorite?” he asked, leaning closer against the bar.   

It felt like it was only the two of them in the bookstore. Inside their own bubble, the world moved slowly inside the confines of the Midnight Owl.    

“This is gonna sound so awful!” you laughed lightly shaking your head, “There’s a show called Ghost Adventures, and the main guy, Zak Bagans, he’s such a dick to the ghosts! He instigates all the time, and I mean, regardless of if ghosts are real, he goes in hot ! Not to mention he always throws his costar Aaron into the worst places! It’s just insane, absolute trash.” you shake your head in disbelief.    

“But you love it?” Spencer asked.    

You gave him a deadpan stare, “Oh absolutely, it’s the best kind of quality trash.”   

You burst into a fit of giggles and Spencer couldn’t help but find it contagious.    

“Aaaaaaanyway~” You drag out, moving to grab your box of decorations.    

“Wanna help me decide how to decorate?” you ask him, grabbing a pumpkin garland out of the bin and tossing it dramatically over your shoulders like a scarf.   

Spencer brushes his loose hair out of his face and nods. He may still be useless on crutches, but he could help... Kind of.    

You empty the containers of the bin on the counter where Spencer’s sitting and he quickly grabs his mug to lift it up to avoid being knocked over from the avalanche of orange and black. You smile at him apologetically before trying to dig out your favorite decorations.    

-   

Spencer’s face is twisted in a look of frustration as he sits in the corner reading. He came in a while ago and besides his drink, he hasn’t spoken much to you.    

Which isn’t a bad thing, tonight was one of the busier nights. It was mid-October, and the festivities had been nonstop. Tonight was vampire night, which upon entering the building Spencer was already grimacing. There was a special drink deal on the board hanging above the cafe for anyone buying a vampire related book. Twilight , Dracula , Carmilla , Interview with a Vampire, just pick a title it was an option with its own fun themed cafe drink that was absolutely red.   

 It wasn’t like you knew he had just finished working on a case that involved vampirism, but the odds weren’t in his favor for finding an escape from the most recent case. Halloween season had its ups and downs he supposed.   

There was no way of explaining his slightly irritable mood. Spencer hadn’t mentioned his work to you. You never asked, and he didn’t feel like explaining that he spent most of his waking hours profiling serial killers. In the past it hasn’t made the best openers in conversation. It’s also nice to have this small corner of his life not be coated with unsubs, victims, and death. It’s just his favorite bookstore.   

Spencer looked up to see you making more drinks, the cafe was popular tonight. Your chatting up another woman who’s laughing at the joke you told her. The other woman is holding a book that Spencer is positive is a vampire novel.    

“And I have one raspberry mocha for a Carmilla lover!” your voice rang out and you handed over the drink to the customer.    

“Come back Sunday for our movie night, we’re playing Beetlejuice !” you said and waved goodbye to the customer.    

For eleven o'clock at night the shop was busy. Busting out drink after drink and ringing up books at the cafe register. It was your idea to do a deal with a themed book and drink combo, but you didn’t expect to still be busy into the night. You hadn’t even had a break in customers to say hello to your regulars.    

For business, this was great, for your own mental health, you were struggling. You just needed it to slow down enough to catch your breath. You should have scheduled someone else on shift with you, but you weren’t about to call for help now. It was your mistake, and you'll live with it. You made a note to make sure someone is on shift with you tomorrow night for a different themed deal.    

After another round of five more customers there is finally a break. You sighed leaning against the counter and took a grounding breath. You don’t move for a minute, just catch your breath before you look up and catch Spencer from his chair looking at you. You shot him a shaky smile that is supposed to be reassuring but actually looks like you’re about to cry. Spencer’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he decides to get up and come over. The cafe was still bustling but no one was sitting at the counter. Spencer shoves his book into his bag, grabs his crutches and hobbles to the counter.    

“Busy night?” he asked, already knowing the answer but trying to see how you were doing.    

Your eyes look up into his hazel ones and you look worn. “In my head, the whole vampire boom and Halloween themed event seemed like a good idea. For profit, absolutely. For my sanity? I never wanna see another Twilight shirt or raspberry flavored item for a while.” you said in a groan placing your head against the counter.    

“What is Twilight ?” Spencer asked.    

He doesn’t know anything except that it has something to do with vampires and its popular enough that the victims of the latest case were also obsessed with it. He knows it’s a book, but besides that, he has no clue.    

You slowly move to look up and blink at him for a moment, trying to deduce if he’s being serious or not. “Very funny Spencer, I know you’re not asking what the pop culture phenomenon Twilight franchise is.” you replied with a laugh.   

After a moment of looking at Spencer’s confused face you realize he was in fact, unaware. Your eyes widen.    

“Wait, wait, wait, you seriously don’t know? I mean it’s like everywhere. The second movie is coming out in less than a month. I don’t think I’ve sold so many copies of a book in my life. I can’t keep New Moon on the shelves.” you said almost exasperatedly, but the smile on your face gave it away. If Spencer didn’t know any better, he’d think you were getting a kick out of it. He knows by now you won’t make fun of him; you're elated for a completely different reason.   

“I just know it’s popular and about vampires.” He replied with a shrug.    

“Oh my god, I get to explain Twilight to you.” your face splits into a massive grin, your energy returning quickly.    

Spencer quirks an eyebrow, “I thought you were over hearing Twilight ?”    

“No, no, no, no! This is totally different!” you're almost vibrating with excitement. “I’ve read all the books, I’m gonna let you borrow my copy next time you’re in! Actually, I’ll give you the first two since you read so fast!” her words are running together in a run on sentence she’s talking too fast. Your accent came through stronger than ever with your eagerness.    

He doesn’t have it in him to turn you down, you're just so thrilled. Spencer just finds himself too caught up in your joy to tell you he had no interest in the book series. He finds himself agreeing to borrow your copies.    

“I can buy them if you need me too. I don’t want to take your copies unless, you’re sure.” He offers.   

You shake your head, “I can’t keep them on the shelves long enough for you to buy them. Just go ahead and take my copies.” You move to make Spencer a drink that isn’t one of the red blood themed drinks on the menu. “It’s not a big deal. I do have a lot of sticky notes in there though, my friends and I read it for a book club night.”    

He sits up a little straighter, suddenly becoming more interested in reading these books. Not because of their pop culture relevance but because he could read your commentary. There was something special about that, sharing a book with annotations.   

“I’ll bring one too.” He finds himself offering before he can think.    

Your face glows as you hand him a chai latte. “I’d love that! It’ll take me a bit longer to read than you will.” you joked lightly.   

“It’ll be worth it; I haven’t had someone to talk to about books since my mom.” He said looking down at his drink, his eyes growing distant for a split second.   

You open your mouth to ask but quickly shut it, biting the inside of your cheek to stop. You might be nosy, but you knew when to not pry. It was how Spencer seemed to be somewhere else in his mind, if only for a moment. It was enough to know that you had no business asking him to open a can of worms he maybe didn’t want to. Instead, you turn around to grab a set of fake vampire teeth to put in your mouth. They were small and awkward and not cute by any means, but if you could get him to smile, that was all you needed.    

You patiently wait for Spencer to look back up at as you rest your head in your palm and keep your face neutral. The fake teeth are making your mouth uncomfortable, but you’ll survive.    

When Spencer does look up and sees you dramatically batting your eyes at him and grinning madly with children’s plastic vampire teeth, he can’t control the bubbling laughter that takes over him. His shoulders shake with the full body movement, and he shakes his head in disbelief.   

“Where did you get those?” he asked through his fit.    

You turn to spit them out into the trash, your mouth disgustingly filled with drool from the uncomfortable teeth. You cover your mouth and grab your own drink to flush out your mouth.    

“They were a gimmick for the themed drinks tonight.” you finally replied. “Good for a quick joke not for actually wearing.” you said groaning.   

“Pretty sure they are made for children’s mouths.” Spencer teased.   

You shrug and sigh, “Well, being a vampire for Halloween is off the list of options this year. I don’t want to wear those for a whole night.”   

“Probably better off.” He said trying to not immediately focus on Dante and his manager coercing a mentally ill young woman into committing vampire ritual like murders.   

“Yeah, the whole thing with that celebrity kinda left a sour taste in my mouth.” you mentioned grimacing.    

“Dante?” Spencer asked for clarification.   

“Yeah, it was all over the tabloids,” you pointed to the magazine stand by the main register. “Got them in this morning.”    

Spencer tries to not make a face as he sees them, “You read that?”    

You let out a loud snort of a laugh. “No, no, no, oh god!” you stand up a little straighter and push your hair back. “I don’t trust a TMZ article as far as I can throw it, but those murders are real. Making it look like vampire bites...” you shudder, “that just skeeves me out.”    

Spencer drinks from his mug but nods his head in agreement. He didn’t peg you to believe paparazzi reports. The magazine articles would be wrong anyway; they didn’t make the arrest until that afternoon. It was refreshing to see someone not believe everything they read.    

“If vampires are off your list, what other costumes are you thinking about?” he asked, trying to change the subject.    

“No idea.” you groan out in irritation. “I usually do group costumes with my friends but, kind of hard when they live 600 miles away.”    

“South?” he asked.    

You snorted with a roll of your eyes, “Aw geez what gave it away?” you tease with an exaggerated drawl, making your accent thicker than normal.    

Spencer shakes his head in amusement. “Very funny. Why move here?”    

You tense up, avoiding his doe eyes. You look down biting your lip nervously. “It’s uh, a long story.” you said quietly.    

Your body almost looks like it’s trying to shrink in on itself. Spencer doesn’t need to be a profiler to understand your body language. Whatever it is, you’re not ready to share it.    

Instead, he tries to be reassuring that he’s not prying for information.    

“I’m a transplant too. I grew up in Las Vegas.”    

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, “I’ve never been, is it really just the strip filled with casinos or are there nice pockets of peace and no tourists?” you asked.   

You sigh, “It is a lot of tourists. There’s plenty of local places, ones that are only there if you’ve grown up knowing how to get to them.” he told you in a quiet voice, almost conspiratorially.    

Your mouth splits into a smile that reaches your eyes, “So you’ll be my tour guide, right?”   

Spencer’s face heats up from the suggestion and your giggles fill the room.    

“I’m just teasing you,” you pat his arm reassuringly before going to grab a pastry from the front display.    

“Come on and split this last cookie with me, I know I'm not going to sell it.” you said grabbing a chocolate chip cookie and warming it up before cutting it in half.    

Spencer’s face is still tinted pink but the soft cookie and the way it melts when he bites into it and seeing you look happier than earlier, is enough for him. A small corner of peace in the world inside the Midnight Owl.   

The one after Haley’s funeral    

You’re sitting at the checkout counter reading the book Spencer most recently traded with you. It’s one of the Sherlock Homles books, which you had admittedly never read before. You've watched plenty of films and shows but reading it never really crossed your mind.    

You joked about making Spencer watch The Great Mouse Detective when you finished so you could explain your first introduction to Sherlock Holmes. He had no idea what you were talking about, which you found charming in its own way. You loved introducing Spencer to the pop culture media that just filled your brain. Even if it was trashy. You had promised him The Great Mouse Detective was anything but trash. A childhood classic for sure.    

You take your time reading the books Spencer lent. He started leaving small post-it notes for you in them with commentary and questions. It was like you two had your own language, and it was books. Even if he let you borrow a genre you had no interest in, you suddenly were invested. It was a way to get to know him, and in turn he took your books happily. Your annotations were way more scattered brained and filled with tiny commentary to yourself.    

You saw Spencer reading one of the books you let him borrow and he laughed, loudly, in the middle of the store. You both flushed in embarrassment. It was a busy night, filled with university students studying late at night, so it was mostly silent besides the music that was playing through the speakers. You knew you had written something insulting about one of the characters in that sticky note. You were creative with your insults, and you had completely forgotten to take that out before giving it to him. Spencer teased you about your comments on Gale from The Hunger Games for the rest of that night.    

You’re in the middle of The Hounds of Baskerville when the door opens. You look up to greet them but your face falls when you see Spencer, he looks terrible. You slowly close the book and move to walk toward him.   

His eyes were hollow and the normal dark circles under his eyes seemed impossibly darker than usual. Spencer just seemed sad and defeated. You hadn’t seen this side of him and all you wanted to do was press your thumb to his forehead and smooth out the furrow of his brow. To get him to relax, if only for a moment.   

“Hey honey, what’s wrong?” you asked gently walking toward him. You reach out to rub his arms affectionately, “What happened?”    

Your voice is soft and sweet, the way you said honey with your southern drawl feels like a hug. Spencer just needed a minute. One second of peace. The image of Haley’s body unmoving with blood still fresh behind his eyes.    

“It’s been a long week.” His voice comes out a little rough. He’s haggard from the flight from Nashville and he really didn’t want to go home.    

The only comforting place he could think of immediately was the Midnight Owl, of you. Your warm voice and comforting drinks were the only things he could stand to be around.    

Your face softens at his words, and you tilt your head, “Do you need a hug?” you asked softly.    

There’s a shaky sigh that escapes Spencer’s mouth and he just nods his head, unable to form the words.    

You pull him into your embrace gently, your arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You rub soothing circles into his back and Spencer holds onto your waist. Your body radiates heat and it's comforting as he shoves his face into your shoulder. You smell like vanilla, cloves, and parchment paper and his whole body relaxes into you. You hold onto him until Spencer pulls away, not wanting him to feel like he was a burden. The store was empty anyway, it's been a slow night.   

He takes a deep breath before peeling himself off. He moves his hands to hold your arms so he’s supporting himself. Your eyes soften as you look him over, her hand coming up to cup his face.    

“You don’t have to talk about if you don’t want to, but I’ve been told I’m a great listener.” You whisper softly.    

Spencer relaxes against your touch and doesn’t say much, just hums in response. He eventually finds his words, “My friends wife died recently, and it just, it was a shock.”    

He doesn’t want to get into how Haley died. That his job makes him and his coworkers targets. The people they love. George Foyet died at Hotch’s hands for killing Haley and attempting to kill Jack. Spencer watched Hotch’s face crumble, fall and lose what he loved the most. He knew Hotch didn’t want to divorce Haley, he loved her and his son with his whole heart.    

That love had cost him Haley’s life.   

“Oh hun,” your voice brings him back, “I’m so sorry.”    

He shakes his head, “I’ll be fine. I’m just processing it.”    

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me, you’re allowed to process and grieve, especially if you knew her.” you tell him firmly. “C’mon, go sit down and I’m gonna make a delicious warm drink and we can just relax alright?”    

Spencer gives a tiny, tight smile and lets you grab his hand to pull him to one of the nicer chairs. He sets his cane against the arm rest and is floored by how easy everything is with you.  

You don’t push or pry for information, let him ramble, and Spencer doesn’t think he’s had a real friend outside of the BAU in a long time, much less someone his age. As much as he loves his team, there are times where they don’t understand him. It’s a lot easier to be himself with you. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what he’s doing most of his days, and he could argue with himself that you don’t know him. Almost 90% of his life is the BAU, and who is he if he isn’t Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI agent in the Behavioral Analyst Unit? A small part of him hopes he could be the person he becomes when he enters the Midnight Owl.    

He’s too lost in his thoughts to notice you walking over with two steaming mugs.    

“Here, it’s just tea but I think you need a relaxing drink. No caffeine.” you said with a sweet tone looking him over.    

You sit on the arm rest of the chair cradling your own mug. “Can I try something?” you ask him.    

Spencer drinks from his mug, but he mutters an agreement under his breath.    

“Lean back fully in the chair.” you instructed.   

He does as he’s told, he lowers his hands to his lap, mug still warmly pressed into his hands. Spencer isn’t sure what you’re trying to do until your hands are running through his hair, feather light. You’re not massaging his scalp, just the lightest of touches as you card your fingers through his long hair. Spencer’s eyes close and he almost moans from how the tension leaves his body immediately.    

You let out a tiny snort but continue the motions.    

“My momma used to do this when I was little.” you whisper to him, keeping a low voice.   

“I would be asleep in an instant.” you emphasized with a quiet snap of your fingers.   

Spencer’s eyes flutter open to look up at you, his big doe eyes looking up to see your soft features be highlighted in the warm glow of the lamps. You look down at him and tilt your head.    

“I might pass out like this.” he murmured in a low voice.   

“You can if you want. Promise I won’t let anyone bother you... not that anyone’s coming in anytime soon.” You drawl out looking around at the empty shop.    

“Just a quick nap, twenty minutes.” he told you, voice already fading and his eyes growing heavy.    

You don’t respond to him, just continue stroking his hair until he falls asleep. He felt the warm mug leave his hands and he heard ceramic clank onto the wooded side table next to him.   

You watch Spencer sleep, giving him much longer than twenty minutes. His dark circles told enough; he needed this nap more than he was letting on. It takes less than five minutes for Spencer to pass out. His body relaxed into the chair with all tension leaving his body. You slow down your movements until you feel safe enough to stop. His small snore a sign he was asleep.    

You moved to stand and went back to your duties, which wasn’t anything more than inventory tonight. Mondays were always slow.   

You moved about the bookshop, filing away books, crossing off things on your checklist, and beside the few customers that came in for less than twenty minutes each, the night was quiet. Enough so that you let Spencer sleep much longer than twenty minutes.    

Spencer sleeps peacefully for most of the night. You check on him occasionally, and besides the few snores, he’s sound asleep.    

Around four in the morning he stirs awake, blinking blearily and looks around the store. You hear him and poke your head out from behind a shelf.    

“Good morning sunshine!” you teased in a chipper tone.    

Spencer looks at you confused before looking down at his watch. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asked, tone not accusing, just confused.    

You shrug and make your way over to him, “You looked like you needed the sleep.”    

You gently reach your hand up to smooth the furrow of his brow. “You’ll die young from all that stress you’re carrying on your shoulders.” You tell him softly. The way you’re gently touching his forehead is like you’re trying to erase the stress and pressure.    

Spencer sighs into the light touch, “For sleeping on a chair, it was pretty peaceful.” he murmurs.    

You snort in amusement. “Well, at least I know they’re comfy.”    

“I sleep on planes frequently, so this is much better.” he said.   

“Travel a lot for work?” you asked.   

Spencer just nods. Not wanting to explore too deep into his job. The job that was leaving him sleepless most nights.   

“Do you feel any better?” you ask quietly.    

He nods solemnly. “Better than when I arrived.” he said with a shrug.    

You frown but don’t press, you push his hair back again giving him a reassuring smile.    

“I’m a good listener if you ever need to talk. Promise.” You hold out your pinky finger in the childish gesture of a pinky promise.    

Spencer finds himself smiling, finding it charming. Regardless of his problem with germs, it doesn’t feel so intense with you. You’re not a stranger anymore. He hooks his pinky with yours.    

“Not now.” He whispers. “But someday...”   

“Someday.” you reaffirm.   

The one about family    

Spencer’s surprised to see that you’re not working one random night in November. He knows that, of course, You can’t possibly be working every single night he comes in. It just throws him off when he doesn’t see you immediately. The sunshine woman behind the bar making him a new sickly-sweet coffee to try. You’ve only ever missed one day max two, so he doesn’t think much of it. Just a blip on his night.   

One night without you suddenly turns into half a week. Every day Spencer walks in and it’s not your bright bubbly voice greeting him. It’s one of the handful of people who work the late-night shift. They aren’t strangers, Spencer’s ran into a couple of them occasionally. So, when Spencer comes into the bookstore to see, yet again, Robert, manning the front desk lazily flipping through a magazine, his mild frustration turns to worry. You've been gone for four days and none of your coworkers seem to know why.   

What if you’re sick? What if something happened to you? Did you take a vacation? What if you’re in danger?    

The thoughts consume Spencer so much he almost calls Garcia to track you down. Or at least give him your address to check on you. He pulls himself together and realizes that it would be a bad idea and an invasion of your privacy. He’ll just have to wait it out.   

Spencer does wait, mostly because he’s forced too. The BAU never truly stops working.   

When he finally sees you again it’s near the tail end of November and way too close to Thanksgiving for his liking. He feels like you've been gone for ages, but it’s only been two weeks. The door chimes behind him as he walks in, he’s expecting to see your eyes light up with a smile on your flushed pink cheeks. The way you’ve always greeted him.    

Instead, he sees a side of you that he’s not used to at all. You look tired, exhausted. The dark circles under your eyes could compete against his natural ones. You’re wearing glasses which he’s never seen on you before. Her hair is haphazardly tied up, and You're in a large well-worn sweater that reads, ‘Read Banned Books’. He doesn’t think you've slept much, if at all, since he last saw you.    

You look like a zombie, barely functioning.   

You don’t even register Spencer enter; you're standing at the checkout counter finishing a transaction with a customer. You're swaying on your feet the whole time.    

Spencer lets you finish the interaction before coming over to the counter, concern clear on his face.   

“Y/N?” He says your name softly as he approaches.    

Your eyes fly up to him and widen a little in surprise, your body reacts with a small flinch. “Oh god Spencer!” You give a soft laugh, your hand coming up to clutch your chest, “You scared me! I didn’t hear you come in.” you try to calm yourself down.   

Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and Spencer can tell. It doesn’t take a profiler to see you’re not yourself. Her eyes are only half open, your hands shaking from what he can only assume is the obscene amount of caffeine you probably have in your system. Everything just seems muted, not the bright colors he used to see you framed in.   

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been gone for a while.” he prompts, trying to get something out of you. A clue to what might have happened. Anything.   

You shake your head, “I’m fine, everything’s fine.” You said it a little too quickly.    

Spencer doesn’t buy it, but he’s kept enough secrets to himself to know he probably shouldn’t go looking into friends’ private lives. Some things he knows he’d rather keep to himself... but seeing you like this, he wants to help.    

You avoid his eyes and start to play with your hands on the counter. “I-” you open your mouth but promptly shut it again. You bite your cheek with a frown plastered on your face.    

“Sorry, it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” you said quickly before turning to grab some books from behind the desk to busy yourself with.    

You don't want to talk about or think about it. It’s been a long two weeks, and you just need some normalcy. Something that you know you can do and enjoy.    

You feel Spencer’s eyes burning into you. You try to keep your usual high energy, you truly do. Everything has been so rough this month; you just need a break. The bookstore was your one solace. The Midnight Owl wasn’t just a job, it was your home. Your safe haven.   

You didn’t want to bring your real life here, not when sometimes your only highlight is seeing Spencer and sharing books back and forth. If he starts asking about your life outside the four walls of your shop, you don’t know if you can hold yourself together. Not today.    

“Y/N,” he opens his mouth trying to get your attention again.    

“Really Spencer, it’s fine, I’m fine!” you tell him, a short tone to your voice.    

You spin on your heels to walk somewhere, anywhere, else. “You know I have your book actually, let me return it. I left some notes in there.” You make it five or six steps before you falter and sways again. Spencer reaches out to grab and steady you.  

“Forget the book, you don’t look fine.” He makes you face him. “You look exhausted.” He chastises you.    

You deflate immediately and let Spencer guide you to a chair. He gently sets you down and he pries the book out of your hand and places it on the side table.    

“Sorry, you don’t have to take care of me.” you murmur feebly swatting him away. “I just...” You take a deep breath. “I had to take dad to the hospital on Tuesday and it’s just been downhill all week...” you admit timidly. You pushed your glasses up to your hairline and pressed the heels of your palm to your eyes.    

“I haven’t gotten much sleep.” you admit.    

“You’ve run yourself ragged.” Spencer lowers himself to be eye level with you. “Is he home now?” he asks gently.   

“No, they’re keeping him one more night.” you said with a heavy sigh.    

Your arms fell in between your knees, and you lean your head back exhausted. “It’s just been hard this past year...” your voice is small and lingers with sadness.    

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly.    

Spencer maybe doesn’t like talking about his hardships, but he’ll listen to yours if you let him. He wants to desperately ease your mind, see you smile.    

You look up at him, eyes wide as you assess him. “I don’t want to put my problems on you Spencer.” you give a tight smile. “I’ll figure it out.”   

Spencer reaches out to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Talking about it doesn’t mean that you’re inconveniencing me. I'm just worried.”   

You sigh, already feeling him chip away at you. You didn’t stand a chance against his big doe eyes looking at you like you were fragile.    

You take a deep breath before answering him, “My dad has ALS, he was diagnosed a few years ago... I’ve been taking care of him.” you admit.    

“Where we were, the doctors just weren’t cutting it. So, I did some research and of course there were stellar doctors in DC... plus my baby sister came here for university so I just thought... maybe it would be easier. On all of us.” The tone of your voice gives your worry away.    

“Anyway, he just, he had an accident and fell down the other day. His legs are finally giving out and he’s being so stubborn about needing a wheelchair.” Your voice shakes and you close your eyes.    

“It’s been a long week.” you finally admit looking up at Spencer with watery eyes.    

Spencer understands. He’s spent most of his life taking care of his mom because of her own illness. While your dad is suffering from something different, he understands. Probably more than you realize.    

“I get it, I do.” he said. You go to retort, but he cuts you off. “I took care of my mom for a long time. She...” He pauses looking at you, debating for a moment on if he should tell you.    

“My mom has schizophrenia, and I committed her when I was eighteen.” he tells you with a tight frown.   

“It’s hard to take care of your parents, especially when it’s their job to take care of us.” He tells you sincerely.   

You have tears pricking your eyes, “Oh Spencer, I’m so sorry.”   

He shakes his head, “I’m telling you this because I understand. I promise I do, it’s not easy.”    

You take a shaky breath; your heart feels like it’s a thousand pounds. “Does it ever get easier?” you ask softly.    

Spencer squeezes your hand, “No, it doesn’t. There are happy moments though. Moments where you know you’re doing the right thing, even if it’s difficult.”    

You sniffle and wipes your face, “Thanks, I uh, I needed that.” you said with a small smile.    

-   

It’s getting closer to Christmas. The bookstore is decorated and busier than ever. There’s a handful of special events but between people coming in to buy presents and university students staying all night to study for finals, you have your hands full.    

There’s a second staff member working nights with you this month until the holiday break starts for the store. You and Josie were adamant about closing the bookstore between Christmas Eve and New Years. If someone needed a book that badly they could go to a big box store.    

What you really don’t need right now is your baby sister coming to your place of work and harassing you about Christmas and your dad.    

“Bridget, I don’t have time to discuss this with you right now!” you hiss out at your younger sister. “You didn’t spend Thanksgiving with us and daddy really wants you to come home just for Christmas.” you chastised your sister with a frown.    

You have a pause in customers for the moment, but you know that the large study group is coming in half an hour like they have been for the past week and half.    

“That’s not fair Magpie!” your sister groans in frustration using your nickname to try and be sweet. “I made these plans months ago; Mark really wants me to spend Christmas with his family.”  

You cross your arms and look at your sister sadly. “Birdie, we don’t know how much time we get with dad-” you start but is cut off.    

Bridget’s face scrunches in disgust at her sister’s words and huffs exaggeratedly. “Good god Y/N! He’s not gonna die over the holidays, stop fucking guilt trippin’ me over every decision because it doesn’t revolve around dad!”    

Bridget’s annoyed and you can tell, she always tries to skirt around her problems when she’s frustrated. She thinks you’re trying to back her into a corner.    

“Birdie-”    

“It’s Bri. I go by Bri here.” Her sister crosses her arms and looks at you in annoyance.    

“Look, I know dad’s sick, I’m not stupid.”    

“I didn’t say you were Bridget.” you said defensively.   

She rolled her eyes, “I didn’t decide to pack everything up and move dad out to DC. Just because you’re closer doesn’t mean I’m going to stop living my life to take care of daddy.”    

You bite your tongue. Trying to not fight with your sister, but your irritation rises in your throat. Burning words of resentment linger in your mind.    

“Fine. Would you please just call him on Christmas and please come by after the New Year. He really misses you.” You try to plead with your sister.    

Bridget just waves goodbye as she walks out the door, “Will do. See you next year Magpie.” she almost ran out the door.    

You deflate, your shoulders dropping. You almost don’t hear Spencer walking up next to you holding a gift bag in his hands.    

“I didn’t know your sister visited you.” he said.    

You look up at him and smile at your favorite regular. Your friend. You think they’re allowed to call each other friends now. He already saw you cry and that was a big step.    

You shake your head, “Yeah, we’re not as close as we used to be.” you mumble under your breath.    

Spencer nods his head. He never had any siblings, but he can read your face well enough to know you’re not thrilled.  

“Still close enough for nicknames, Magpie?” he asked, biting back a smile.  

“Childhood nicknames, Birdie and Magpie. Cause we were birds of a feather.” You said looking down at your hands sadly.  

“It’s fine.” you shrug it off and give a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. You lean against the counter. “What’s that you got there?” you asked, changing the subject.    

You’re pointing to the gift bag in his hands. You tilt your head curiously.    

“Oh, this is,” he flushes for a split second rushing his words out. “This is for you. I know you’re closing for the holiday soon and I don’t know if I’ll have a last-minute work call or not so., I brought your Christmas present.” He fumbled through his words quickly, but he held out the small bag.   

You light up immediately. Your eyes shimmer with excitement. “Aww, Spencer! This is so kind thank you!”    

You bend down below the counter and grabs your own item, “I actually have your present too.” you said shyly, handing him a wrapped package.    

Spencer is quiet as he gently takes the gift from you, a tiny smile on his face. He brushes his hair back out of his face as he looks at you softly.    

“This is so kind thank you.”    

Giddy giggles consume you, and you hold the gift bag. “Should we open them together or do you want to wait until Christmas?” you asked.    

Spencer shakes his head, “No no, you can open it now.” He reassures you.    

You smile, biting the inside of your cheek and open your present. Under the tissue paper is a sweater that’s twice your size and it’s the softest thing you’ve ever felt. You pull it out and it’s a purple crocheted sweater with a beautiful sun right in the middle. It reminds you of one of the tapestries from the late nineties that would have been in Practical Magic or something like that.    

“Oh Spencer, this is perfect.” you say quietly holding it tightly to your chest. “Thank you so much, I love it.”    

You pull off your cardigan and immediately shove the sweater on. You nestle yourself inside it and grins widely, “It matches your scarf!”    

Spencer just takes in your joy and how you light up, and he’s happy he could make you feel better.    

“Well go on open yours!” you said excitedly pushing your wrapped package toward him.   

Spencer gently peels back the wrapping paper and uncovers a white box; he opens the box to find a ceramic mug. It's custom made, with some uneven texture. It’s glazed a speckled purple and wrapped around the bottom is a quote, “Some books are so familiar that reading them is being home again.” -L.M. Alcott    

Spencer is quietly inspecting it, and you start explaining. You push your hair behind your ear, “I uh, I took a pottery class in my free time this past year. Since you’re here so much I thought you would like your own mug.” you said hesitantly.    

Spencer’s eyes widen, “You, you made this? For me?” he asked in surprise.    

You nod, looking down at the counter nervously.    

Spencer makes his way around the counter and pulls you into a tight hug. “This is the best gift anyone's ever gotten me.” he whispers to you.    

You return the hug holding Spencer tightly. You press your face into his shoulder, and you feel infinitely better than how your night started.   

When they pull apart you play with the edge of the new sweaters' sleeves, a small blush on your face. “Do you go visit your mama for holidays?” you asked him.    

Spencer shakes his head, “Not all the time. My job doesn’t usually care if it’s a holiday or not.” he tells you.    

You nod, “Well, I hope you get to this year Spencer. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”    

He takes a shaky breath and nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’ll try to see her soon.”    

You nudge him lightly, trying to keep the tone light, “Want a fresh drink in your new mug?” you tease.   

Spencer chuckles but nods his head. “I’d love that.”    

“We’re about to test run if I’m actually good at pottery. So, fingers crossed it doesn’t leak.” you joke moving to the cafe counter at the back of the store.   

Spencer watches you walk away, with a skip in your step like the first night he came to the Midnight Owl. The way you easily glide through the crowd and chatter with customers and giggling.    

You shine bright like a star, like the sun.  

[ladyloveandjustice]

Sorry, I know this isn't the point of your post but the idea that Jason Todd of all people is the most popular character for Batfamily fanfiction blows my mind. He's my absolute top pick for "this character should have stayed dead and nothing they've done with them since bringing them back justified it."

I really disagree with you there! First of all, I don't like that Jason died in the first place--the reasoning for him being unpopular was very. of it's time. I personally do not mind that Jason may have killed a rapist, and I enjoyed him as Robin. Holding a poll to kill a child character and then killing him in SUCH a violent, painful and drawn out way is...in poor taste at best...I'd call it gross and ghoulish, myself.

Yes, he's a fictional character. But this is from the same company that was like 'we hate this kid maybe we should give him AIDS' because that's apparently a punishment or whatever and also said "cripple the bitch" about Babs. They way they treat these characters, and encourage fans to treat them, speaks of deeply held attitudes. Like we can't pretend classism wasn't involved here any more than we can pretend it wasn't misogyny with Babs, the aids thing was 100% "well he's a dirty street kid why wouldn't he get aids!!!"

It fostered a really fucked mentality in fans, and it's just incredibly close to torture porn too. Aaaand it and the Killing Joke pretty much ruined the Joker as a villain he cannot be fun or tbh, interesting anymore, the fact that a kid died being Robin ruins the wish fufillment of Robin and makes Batman look horrible for letting kids fight crime , when it's NOT supposed to be realistic! It's supposed to be fun and cool and a genre convention!

Jason was also relentlessly victim blamed after he died. Like I've been going through some comics where Jason was just mentioned and 75% of the time they find some way to blame it on him, he 'disobeyed orders' he 'wasn't skilled and all he had was anger' (that one's super bizarre because he was never presented as incompetent)... One thing that's happened as a result of his resurrection is the characters don't consistently do that anymore since it's awkward to do it when he's right there and he does not agree it was his fault (rightly!)

Second, they'd done absolutely pretty much every story they could do about his death anyway in the fifteen years. Bruce grieving, every member of the Batfamily hallucinating him, comparing everything reckless thing any Robin or Batgirl or Spoiler does to Jason, cute little ghost appearances, it's all been done. So like...why not bring him back if that leads to a new story? That's the thing with comics ongoing forever and a big reason I think characters tend to come back from the dead a lot. If your story is neverending, you'll naturally come to 'hey what if so and so was alive again".

So I don't really think there needs to be a justification for coming back, it was a poorly written story that shouldn't have happened in the first place, and also why not, there's a lot of interesting directions it could have gone in.

The way it was executed was bad. Lost Days is a surprisingly solid comic rereading it again, but other than that. man, The writing for Jason was a mess. But that doesn't mean he should have stayed dead, just that DC sucks at writing.

But he seems solid in a couple more recent comics I read in the Jason doc, and I think he's a fun character in Wayne Family Adventures (it's for kids and sometimes a little saccharine, yeah, but it means he's at least consistently characterized.) You definitely can write him well or at least as interesting.

Jason being popular with fans (particularly fanficcers, a good portion of whom are women) isn't really a big suprise--he is edgy and angsty and sarcastic boy and has the most tragic and broken relationship with Bruce probably which means daddy issues and family drama galore, which fanfic loves. and also is mad at Bruce the most and anyone who has to read Batman will want to rage at this man too so. I get it.

(There's also the fact that all the times he did "excessive force" as Robin involved violence against women (or children, once). This was definitely not on purpose, it was just because DC considered it to be EDGIEST THING, but it does make it easy to sympathize with his POV over Bruce when you read that).

And also seemingly BECAUSE DC doesn't handle him great-- a lot of the top fanfics (and ones I've read) are alternate takes on what could have happened-- what if catatonic Jason was found before Talia got him, what if she decided to bring him home after the Lazarus pit, what if the first meeting with Tim had gone differently, etc etc. And a lot of them are pretty good! I am all for kid Jason coming back and having good things happen to him and him actually awkwardly reinitegrating with everyone...it's really interesting.

So yeah, I get it re: Jason. I just think the girls are just as interesting, and it's very notable you have to go through pages and pages on Ao3 to get anything focused on one of them when you sort by kudos (I actually didn't find any...it was making me too annoyed so I didn't keep searching. There was one goofy one that Stephanie played a big role in at least)

[velvet-n-lace]

If only you were real....

Series: Obey Me

Genre: Suggestive

Word Count: 1k words

Pairing: Leviathan x Dating Sim Character Reader (Gender-Neutral)

Warnings and Tags: Typical stan behavior, some obsession, a bit of suggestive stuff

A/N: idk I just had a thought about this, i’ll probably expand on it in the future but for now, just enjoy~ sorta wish I wrote this better... ugh...

Dating Sim!Reader is among the many love interests in the latest dating sim game. Levi has kept an eye on it for a while. He rewatched its promotional videos, realizing he was mainly fixated on you. He knew nothing about you besides that unique design and several promotional clips introducing your personality. That didn’t stop him from making gifs and edits of you—his precious Dating Sim!Reader.

You stood out among the other love interests. Everything about you just works; it is no wonder many were eager to start your route first. Dating Sim!Reader’s style is unique, and Levi constantly wonders what you would look like in real life. You would be a perfect being—literally a God/Goddess among everyone who crossed your path.

Finally, the game came out. The prologue was intriguing, but when Dating Sim!Reader’s sprite appeared, Levi completely lost it. He took at least 10 screenshots every time you spoke—20 if you said something that turned him on. He was ready to stay up all night, complete your route, and live-post about you until dawn.

Dating Sim!Reader's route was immaculate. Levi lay on his floor, overwhelmed by how much of a well-rounded character you were. Your hobbies made sense to your character, your backstory was gut-wrenching, and he cried just remembering the romantic ending. His inner circle was hardly surprised when he told them he had completed your route. “Of course he did,” they said.

Levi played through the other characters’ routes. Some were decent, some he didn’t care for, but one thing was certain: Dating Sim!Reader still reigned supreme in his heart. Every time you show up as another platonic love interest, a pang of despair fills his heart. This is unbearable. You should be head over heels for Levi’s protagonist, yet the game refuses to let that happen unless he replays your route again.

Levi returned to your route with one goal: 100% completion. To this day, Dating Sim!Reader’s route remained the only one he had fully completed. He had to, so he could prove his unwavering devotion to you.

According to a poll, Dating Sim!Reader ranked at the top of the Popular Love Interests poll. Levi was happy to see you there with the fan favorites, but then that jealousy kicked in. So many posts claimed to be your biggest fan; some were already dedicating a corner of their room filled with your merch. Levi wasn’t having it. It was time to start stanning hard.

Levi bought every piece of Dating Sim!Reader merch he could get his hands on. Some had to be fanmade so that he could stand out among the other stans. There are about five Ita Bags worth of merch overflowing inside them. He was already making fan art before you got popular, so he became THE Dating Sim!Reader guy in his weeb circle. His profile pictures were just your face adorned with pretty edits for the next few months.

Screenshots weren't enough anymore, fanfiction flooded in, and Dating Sim!Reader fics were the most popular. Levi saved each one he came across, stashing the best ones in a dedicated folder or reading list to read again and again. He found himself rereading his favorite passages, no matter his mood. He even began to write some himself.

He’s in the deep end now. Levi started getting hard in the middle of class just remembering what Dating Sim!Reader did in those R-18 fanart, fanfics, and doujins he’s collected. He even got caught doodling something provocative when he was supposed to be writing notes. It’s embarrassing to get caught, but behind closed doors, that self-indulgence was tenfold.

He'd been thinking of cosplaying Dating Sim!Reader for a while. He bought some materials and made a few tweaks to it. After completing it, he’d just take all types of pictures with it—some cute, some suggestive, some only for his eyes. They always get him likes and shares wherever he posts them. He’d never witnessed a character get so many likes as you do. Even walking around an anime convention, people asked for a photo with him. He gained a boost in confidence, all thanks to you~

"Of course, he has a mountain of Dating Sim!Reader merch. Figurines were made to capture your popularity. Mammon tried stealing one, hoping it would sell for a hefty price, but unfortunately, Levi had already “claimed” that figurine he attempted to steal… Mammon never touched Levi’s shit since."Of course, he has a mountain of Dating Sim!Reader merch. Figurines were made to capture your popularity. Mammon tried stealing one, hoping it would sell for a hefty price, but unfortunately, Levi had already “claimed” that figurine he attempted to steal… Mammon never touched Levi’s shit since.

It’s already been a few months, and Levi is still stanning hard. New changes were coming to RAD: exchange students from the Celestial Realm and the Human World would attend soon. There was a chance that humans would know about this game, but there was no way they’d know about the dating sim genre and, more importantly, about Dating Sim!Reader.

Then the new human exchange student walked in… looking exactly like Dating Sim!Reader. It couldn't be real. No matter how much Levi wished they could be real, they were only a fictional character…

He got a better look at you, taking every detail of your face and style. He couldn't deny it. You really did look like a real-life version of Dating Sim!Reader. He was a little too close; you felt him breathing against your skin.

A nervous wreck of a demon stood before you, hands shoved in his pockets, all hunched over like he was about to burst.

“Question…” he gulped, “is your name… Dating Sim!Reader?”

“Yeah, it is.” Your voice was so similar that he wondered if you were Dating Sim!Reader’s voice actor or something.

“It’s the same name as that character in that dating sim!” you exclaimed. Levi was on cloud nine. Clearly, you were no normie if you knew THAT dating sim. Having the same name and appearance as Dating Sim!Reader must be the best thing ever.

“They are my favorite!” Levi blurted out, “Do you want to see my merch collection someday?”

You nodded and smiled at him; your expression was so much like Dating Sim!Reader’s that it made his heart skip a beat. It was the beginning of something new: a real-life connection with someone who embodied the most perfect character ever. Levi thought he’d never see the day.

[grinsgrimmy]

Hello i loved ur iske fic hehe, i was wondering if maybe you could do an enzo one? Yknow ruby’s adopted brother? He lacks fics and i love him sm

Maybe can you do where shes the childhood friend of ruby, shes known to be kind and talented in magic and is considered to be very pretty hehe and she likes him but is very shy to confess so he takes the initiative <33i want him to pin for her so bad the loser bf x hot gf is taking over my brain

Thats all hope u have a great day hehe

Ｌ Ｏ Ｖ Ｅ Ｍ Ｅ Ｂ Ａ Ｃ Ｋ ?

ㅤᯓᡣ𐭩 𝖤𝖭𝖹𝖮 𝖣𝖤 𝖡𝖮𝖱𝖦𝖨𝖠 𝗑 𝖠𝖥𝖠𝖡!𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

HOW TO GET MY HUSBAND ON MY SIDE

๋࣭⭑ֶֶֶָָָ֢֢֢𖹭 oneshot . (1440 words)

sum. you wanted to confess to enzo, but you chickened out

note : thank you for the request, anonie! i was 100% hesitating on taking this request bc i do not think i can do enzo justice since i am not really familiar with his character. i still am not confident on writing him even after rereading the manhwa so im using early chapters (1-3) as my sole knowledge regarding him. alsooo im sorry for not 100% using your prompt/plot but i literally blanked out on how to write with that prompt

IT WENT OVER 1400 WORDS ANYWAYS WHAT THE H

request drabble have reopened !!

ㅤ⪩⪨ m.list

he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me.

you plucked the last delicate petal from the daisy you had been toying with the past few minutes. sitting on the serene grass, it was a quiet afternoon. suppose to be peaceful and calming, but not for you.

he loves me not.

staring at the plucked flower, you let out a wistful sigh.

you gently tore the entire flower apart, as if you were trying to rip away the small, fleeting hope that had been growing in your chest.

you stared at the last petal that was left drifting on the grass. with another weak sigh, you let your fingers drop to your lap with a heavy heart.

it did not matter.

he would never see you the way you wished him to.

enzo.

the name echoed in your mind constantly. the man you had quietly admired for years, the same man who occupied every corner of your thoughts.

he was always out of reach for you.

he is not just anyone. he is a borgia, and he is your childhood friend's second older brother. ruby's brother.

but that was not the problem with your meddling emotions.

you grew up with the borgia family. he probably saw you as solely ruby's friend. or perhaps he saw you as no different than the rest of the familiar faces that filled the borgia household.

regardless, after ruby was sent off to the north to marry iske van omerta, you did not really have a reason to constantly visit the borgia household after that.

but you kept returning, time and again, to see enzo.

thinking about it, you felt akin to a lovesick teenager. there were no excuses or pressing need for you to be at the household, you simply wish to be close to him.

even catching a glimpse of enzo when he was training, sitting in silence as you watch from afar, would be enough for your entire day. in your mind, if you kept being present enough despite ruby's absence, he would begin to realise that you wanted to be with him.

and perhaps he would finally look at you the way you wanted him to. as someone more than ruby's friend.

that day never came.

it had been a month since ruby's absence, you had been awkwardly strolling along the halls and gardens of the borgia family as if you were one of them.

sincerely, you wished not to be even associated with them. the eldest brother of the borgia family gives you the creeps, as does the two hags that ran the family, mostly pope de borgia.

but you did not want to leave borgia entirely since enzo was there. he is a borgia too. as creepy as the family is, you remained close contact with them because you genuinely care for ruby and fell in love with her brother.

thankfully they had not once thrown you out.

not yet, at least.

the borgia family are seen as saints, hence, you believed the pope could not rudely kick you out of their premises.

you glanced down at the daisy petals scattered around you, the weight of your emotions pressing harder within your mind. your chest tightened.

should you even confess to enzo?

you came to the borgia household today to confess, but chickened out and ended up sitting in their gardens.

a rustling sound interrupted your train of thought. you looked up, startled. for a brief, breathless moment, your heart skipped a beat when your eyes fell onto enzo, who was approaching you.

he looked as if he had just returned from training; his gaze was fixed on you. he scratched the back of his head, roughly calling you out, “the servants told me you came.”

you gave him a blank look before slowly getting flustered. “ah, yes, around an hour ago,” you answered him with a timid expression. he stared at you with an unreadable expression.

enzo huffed, clearly not satisfied with your response, "so why weren't you at the training grounds?" his words carried a slight edge—not anger, but just annoyance tinged with something else. you could not quite place what it was.

you gave a meek and reassuring smile to mask your nervousness.

you bit your lip, scrambling for an excuse, “i, uh, didn't want to interrupt. you were busy, after all...” you trailed off, unsure of how to exactly finish your words.

enzo's annoyed gaze did not soften. he crossed his arms over his chest, looking unimpressed. “interrupt?” he repeated, considering your words carefully.

“are you an idiot? you were always there anyway. why do you suddenly feel like you are interrupting?” enzo interrogated you, his eyes narrowed with suspicion, but it felt like he knew more than he let on.

“i didn't,” you stammered. “i didn't want to be a bother so suddenly.”

enzo sighed dramatically out of annoyance, clearly he was not buying it. you could see his lips twitched, as if holding back exasperation. “ugh, whatever. i can't deal with this.”

you were going to ask about what he meant, but he suddenly grabbed your wrist. before you could even react, he was pulling you towards him, then pinned you down against the soft grass in one swift motion.

you gasped, your heart leaping in your chest. you were left stammering, struggling beneath him as you tried to push him away by his chest. but of course you could not since he was stronger than you.

“you really don't get it, do you?” he muttered, his face had almost a sulking pout with his cheeks staining pink. “i'm tired of waiting for you to figure it out,” he grumbled, his hands that were pinning your wrists were trembling.

you gulped, "w, waiting for me to figure what out?" you could not even meet his eyes properly since he was on top of you—

on top of you.

“figure out how to confess to me, you idiot!” enzo snapped, his voice getting louder and sharper, but his cheeks were getting redder and redder. “you've been looking at me like a damn puppy for weeks, and i'm supposed to just keep pretending like i don't know?!”

there was a pause, a heavy silence stretching between you two.

enzo clenched his jaw, trying to mask the embarrassment creeping over him, but his cheeks betrayed him. it turned into a deeper shade of red.

he could not tell if he was more frustrated by the situation or by the mutual feelings he had been acknowledging yet ignoring for so long.

he let out a sigh, “i was waiting for you to confess.” he blurted out, his voice cracking just enough to show his real emotions.

he freed one of his hands from gripping your wrists to cover his deep red cheeks, “look, i didn't— i didn't want to be the one to make the first move, alright?” his muttered, his voice trying to be composed as he looked away from you, “it would have been very cute of you if you did, but—”

his eyes darted to yours, meeting your flustered yet relieved eyes, which made him snap out of embarrassment. “too bad you didn't because you're too dumb to figure that out!” he exclaimed, too flustered to comprehend anything at that moment.

your eyes met his again, but something shifted in you. the awkwardness was still prominent, but there was a part of you that was relieved.

he had been waiting?

your eyes lingered on his for too long, and you could not help but give a shaky smile before bursting into laughter. you manage to get one of your hands free from his to place it at the back of his head to pull him down into a kiss.

you could hear his breath caught in his throat for a moment. there was a flicker of hesitation, but it melted away entirely.

it was a messy kiss. inexperience, even sloppy, but both of you did not mind as you both had been holding back for far too long. your hand tightened in his hair, pulling his head deeper.

when you finally pulled back, breathless and slightly dazed, you gave him a wobbly but relieved smile, “i like you, a lot.” your voice was unsteady but held so much sincerity.

you then gave him a bright smile that made his breath hitch because of how pretty you were with that smile. “i confessed first,” you said proudly with a nervous smile.

the words hung in the air between you two. enzo blinked with slightly parted lips, still in a daze from the kiss. he let out a soft grumble, looking away from you, “you... stupid—”

he went back down for a second kiss.

・❥・want a hc / oneshot? please consider commissioning in ko-fi !!

[beautiful-destroyers]

Headcanons about Lanfear/Mierin I've piled up over the years

includes spoilers for the books

Most of these are extremely self indulgent and are definitely not canon, I'm scared to share any of these on my twitter cause I don't want someone trying to shame or "um akshually" me, also I have like 2 followers here, so I get to scream into the void hopefully without being noticed that much, but anyways...

1. Lanfear has borderline personality disorder

2. Mierin was born to da'shain aiel parents

this is the self indulgent one and I feel like is actually 100% canon despite Robert never confirming it. Her favourite person: clearly Lews/Rand. Her rejection sensitivity. Rand rejects her multiple times throughout the books and her reactions are always visceral, from anguish to splitting on him in TFoH AND s3ep8. Needing to be in control and have power over her life and the people around her which probably stems from trauma. BPD is a traumagenic disorder, I have other headcanons relating to this one I'll get into.

And her burning self loathing, I think she tries really hard to convince herself she deserves more and that she deserved Lews/Rand more than Ilyena did, but I think, or rather what I've read and seen in her tone is that she doesn't truly believe that which is why she strives to be in control so much. I think a lot of things in her life were out of her control, the bore being the big one. Which is why I find it so gutteral that she's the only forsaken to have chosen her own name, but later has it stripped away and has another name forced upon her. Then having her soul trapped and the torture and likely sexual abuse she experiences at Moridin's hands as Cyndane.

3. Lanfear is asian

LOOK...I just had some thoughts and this randomly came upon me while I was skimming through the shadow rising, where Coumin, an aiel ancestor of Rand makes a remark about not being taken to train as an aes sedai because he lacked the spark and it sent me into a spiral thinking about aiel aes sedai and aiel forsaken, which inevitably led me to the source of my hyperfixation so of course I had to make it about her in some way, and well aiel Mierin kinda happened. Which is honestly really tragic when I get really deep into the implications of it.

My line of thought was that she was born to aiel parents and at a young age taken by the aes sedai (basically kidnapped) because she had the spark, and they could definitely tell she was going to be one of the strongest channelers of saidar. Aes sedai being aes sedai would not let such an opportunity go.

Also, Randfear implications (yes I will make it about them too) it would be kind of nice for them to relate to being Aiel and not knowing it and hating aes sedai for what they did to them. I have a whole story written out in my head. One day, one glorious day, I will write it out on ao3.

By that I mean I imagine her as having eastern asian features, from the moment she was described as black haired and black-eyed with pale skin, the pieces fell into place. But now, I'm so in love with Natasha's portrayal of Lanfear both in looks and personality, I started kind of mashing book and show Lanfear into one, cause I'm still way too attached to my asian Lanfear headcanon, so I do draw mostly Natasha but with epicanthic folds

4. Mierin's name means "the seas"

Again, I had this thought while skimming through the books, where the sea folk or in the old tongue, atha'an miere, were mentioned, there's not much to it other than "miere" and Mierin sounded very similar. So i dug through the wiki and found "miere" (the sea) + "in" (plural suffix) so I would guess miere + in = mierin (the seas), Look I'm no language expert.

5. Rand has Lanfear's cour'souvra after the last battle

And these would be the spoilers, I'm halfway through my wot reread, but I'm 99% sure Moridin still has Lanfear's cour'souvra by the time TLB rolls around. So naturally, when Rand wakes in Moridin's body, he'd notice he has a certain... someone, or rather her soul hanging around his neck. I have a whole randfear fic planned out about them meeting again, and going off on silly adventures, she won't leave him cause he still has her soul and her ruined broken heart with him and he won't let her go free just yet. Also bending canon rules by having Lanfear have her original body back by ejecting herself out of tel'aran'rhiod Birgitte style which means some...bonding happens, it's still a work in progress and very self indulgent (why am I even sharing this when no one but me would want that)

6. Elan was in love with both Lews and Mierin

I think he and Mierin might've even been together or shared a closer bond after Lews breaks up with her. An old hc I have is that Elan might've been a professor to a younger (like 50) Lews and Mierin.

I headcanon them as close something more than friends and I think Elan was the first person in Mierin's life to truly care about her and understand her. Of course, this is inspired by season 2 of the show, they had no business being so adorable. Which makes what Moridin does to her later on so much worse...

7. During her time as a young student of the One Power, Mierin had to teach children about their power, one of whom was Lillen aka Moghedien

Lmao ok I had this thought today while I was doing some uni work, I was thinking about the ages of the forsaken and remembered that Moghedien is said to be the youngest among them. An image of a young adult Mierin teaching little Lillen how to embrace saidar poppped into my head, I've been thinking about it the whole day.

Mierin clocks that Lillen has a talent in Tel'aran'rhiod and immediately takes a liking to her. Which is hilarious cause it's canon that Moghedien is stronger than her in TAR, imagine the child you tutored out matches you in a realm you were once the top dog in.

The chosen really would be unstoppable if they were more like a found family.

8. Lanfear is pansexual

Nothing more to it other than I think she would fall in love with the dragon regardless of their gender identity. And come on, I need her to be a girl kisser as a certified girl kisser myself.

That's it for now. Thank you for reading my silly thoughts and headcanons about this fictional woman who I've loved dearly for years.

[wwasted]

being sentimental over that fact that this fandom has such amazing writers and creators despite the fact that it’s so small! so i figured I’d tag some of my favs and give them a nice compliment bc they truly deserve it and we should all show our appreciation for allowing us along on the journey!!! ok now on to me fangirling under the cut.

@blixabargelds frankie… the way your brain works is mind blowing. Like you are so amazing??? I regularly reread fics by you and am constantly pouring over the superstar tag to the point where I feel I could recite asks you’ve gotten months ago lmao. I know you’ve been struggling with writing through these last few months but your work is so truly special!!! Thank you for sharing it with us!

@swifty-fox i know your thoughts on being a writer, but you are truly so brilliant and kind and amazing. Every au or canon fic you come up with is so captivating. The mota fandom is truly lucky to have you writing for it! I’m so excited for everything you have coming up! (Also ps I’ll make as many edits as you desire for snippets 🥰) also not to mention, the art?????? Actually lost for words. You have my endless love and appreciation.

@feyd-meowtha i will 100% read anything you ever write regardless of fandom forever (as proven by the gladiator II fic, still have absolutely no idea but I love it bc you wrote it) thank you for allowing me to scream into discord chat every single time you post a new chapter of 3 am. The handholding thru it does not go unnoticed lmao. (And also allowing me to whine about my own writing ur the best) I truly don’t know how you do it but I am so thankful you do!

@wayrad I know we’ve joked about your age in the wota discord, but omg. If I had even a sliver of your talent at 18, I would’ve been insufferable and yet you’re the sweetest and constantly gracing us with amazing fics. My obsession with the truck stop series haunts me in the best way and I can’t wait to see where you take us next!!

@middlingmay the amount of times I’ve reread TODCL is probably frightening. It is such an amazing story and I’m always blown away by how each character feels so alive. Sometimes I get so immersed in reading that these feel like real people I know and not just characters. Mindblowing how you do that. I’m also so obsessed with all the other AUs you create because how??? Genius

@donotnomi stripper bucky my beloved ❤️ your fic has completely taken over my mind. There is something so ethereal about it. It reminds me of doing LSD in a good way lmao the slow burn is amazing and I always get so excited when I get an email that a new chapter has been posted.

@constanthaunt born right in the doorway will live rent free in my head for eternity!!! I’ve already reread it twice since you finished it and I actually have no words??? The way you weave thoughts and sentences together is so criminal. Like straight to jail for being so amazing at words. I’d love to study your mind so I could have some of that talent!! Can’t wait to see what else you write.

@joeyalohadream the fluff is so good it almost makes me cry. I normally love overdosing on angst and pain but when you post something I immediately drop everything to devour it bc I know it will make me feel all warm inside. I can’t wait for more tree farmer Gale fic regardless of what season it is!!!

@irregularcollapse the incredible mind that came up with the DIY punk au??? The tennis fic??? The actors fic??? THE CANNIBALISM?! Everything you write is so amazing, I always find myself coming back to reread. I could actually live in your fic tumblr tags. The online dating??? It’s actually the fic of my dreams. The genius really knows no bounds. Thank you for sharing with us!

[littlespoonevan]

I watched the first three seasons of 911 back when that was all that had aired and just didn’t keep watching after the break between seasons for whatever reason. I also didn’t really get buddie, I just thought it was a beautiful friendship. I’m now on a rewatch and just got to the end of season 4 and boy am I all in, Buck’s reaction to Eddie getting shot and the aftermath really made me get it. Anyway, I was wondering if you have any fic recs for a buddie newbie? I’m probably gonna speed through the rest of the show in a few days and need something else to occupy me hahah

hey bud, welcome back to the world of 911!! 🥰 okay so i have some previous fic recs that i've posted here and i also have 489 bookmarks on ao3 which you can have a scroll through here (i only ever bookmark something for rereading or reccing purposes so can confirm i've read and loved them all)

but i'll do my best to make a somewhat cohesive list below of some of my personal faves. i have no doubt i'll probably leave some out accidentally but they'll definitely be in my bookmarks so 100% check those out too!! ❤️

The Nearness of You by allisonRW96 / @homerforsure

Eddie reassured himself that he could do this. Other teams coming in were probably going to be staying at the same hotel in the same double rooms and it was very possible that none of them were going to be having sex. Or even lying awake at night thinking about it. Or: Buck and Eddie go on a work trip.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania / @hmslusitania

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” -- An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels /@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.

standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum / @woodchoc-magnum

In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.

across our great divide (a glorious sunrise) by catchingpapermoons 

“We’re working on it,” Maddie explains, shooting Chimney a look. He nods seriously. “In couples therapy.” “Huh,” Eddie says, and then he thinks about it. "Do you think Buck and I would benefit from couples therapy?" — or, Eddie gets Buck to come to couples therapy with him.

darling, the future's better than yesterday by rarakiplin (gmontys)

Eddie, ten years younger, in this awful 2010, blinks up at him. He's still sitting slumped on the curb, and for a second Buck thinks he might tell him to fuck off, but then his eyes fall shut and there’s something — aching and painfully vulnerable in the bend of his mouth, the faint tension in his brow. “My…um, girlfriend, I guess. She’s pregnant.” “Holy shit,” Buck says. - or, buck deals with some wonky dimensional/time travel and then breaks up with his girlfriend. eddie, obviously, is involved.

i'm here (i’m yours for the taking) by farfromthstars / @buckactuallys

“Everyone!” Around forty heads turn, and Buck shifts on his feet uncomfortably at the attention. “This is my old friend Buck and his husband, Eddie.” “Uh,” Buck makes, turning to Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie's looking just as stunned. “Connor, I think you got–” He cuts himself off when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist. ~ at the winter wedding of an old friend, buck and eddie pretend to be married to each other. the plan has no weaknesses, obviously, not even mistletoe or anyone’s secret feelings… they call it the season of giving i'm here, i'm yours for the taking

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.

no kingdom to come by waywardrenegades

Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like. or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.

when i was shipwrecked (i thought of you) by catchingpapermoons 

Buck walks toward Jee-Yun’s room, still talking, and Christopher trails after him, asking excited questions in response, and Eddie’s smile grows. He wants this forever. Everything, every part of it; Buck, Christopher, and him—that’s all he needs. And— Oh. Oh no. He shuts his eyes for a moment, inhaling sharply. He’s looking at Buck, and feeling something strictly not platonic at all. or: Eddie needs to learn how to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that. (And he falls in love with Buck along the way.)

i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove / @hattalove

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths / @bucktommys

LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.

said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by hattalove

“I think,” he says, watching Karen pull Hen out onto the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s, “I think I’m just—sad.” Maybe. That feels like a close enough word to describe this gaping maw right in the center of his chest. It’s only really there sometimes, taking little bites out of him, easy enough to ignore, but today is worse. “About being single at a wedding,” Eddie says, not a question. Buck shrugs. “Sounds stupid when you put it that way.” or, the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit).

cause i'm tired of sleeping alone by rarakiplin (gmontys)

Buck goes on dates now. Not often, and never with the same girl twice in a row, but he goes on dates. And the thing is — the thing is, Eddie can’t be mad about that, because he goes on dates too. - or, five (ish) times eddie and buck go on dates with other people, and one time they go on a date with each other

so far from being free by allisonRW96

"That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible. But even if Buck was capable of doubting Maddie, the truth of her confession is evident in the way it throws every facet of his childhood into sudden perfect clarity. That yawning, arctic absence. The unnamable fear. The impenetrable target of his parents’ approval that he was never, ever going to be able to hit. That they didn’t want him to hit. He has a brother. A dead brother who has haunted Buck’s steps for his entire life."

don't let the tide come and wash us away by writerforlife

Buck develops a relationship with the ocean, avoids talking about the day Eddie was shot, realizes he might be in love, and drives. Order may vary. (a fic for the "Buck is going to break all the way down in season 6" truthers)

dance, for all that we've been through by catchingpapermoons 

The Los Angeles Ballet’s 2022-2023 season ends with a bang with their fresh take on a ballet staple, Swan Lake. Artistic Director Bobby Nash is in his eighth season with the Los Angeles Ballet, and it has flourished under his direction. However, his associate, Eddie Diaz, is the one whose reimagining of the choreography has caught our attention... (or, Eddie Diaz moves to L.A. to restart his dance career, and ends up choreographing a show, finding a family, and falling in love. Not necessarily in that order.)

I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other. When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.

never felt this way before (yes i swear) by withoutthetiger

It’s the summer of 2022, when Buck no longer wants to be called Evan, and it only occurs to his parents to mind. It’s after the pandemic – or so they say – and before whatever hell will befall the world next, when Buck can’t wait to join the LAFD in September, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet someone as gently strong and fiercely protective as his big sister. It’s the summer he goes with his family to the One Eighteen Ranch & Lodge. *** A Dirty Dancing AU, set in Texas in 2022, featuring a whole lot of familiar faces in a not so familiar place.

Fragile lines (and wasted time) by Mellaithwen / @mellaithwen

“Hey Buck,” Christopher says a little shyly, before reaching out to grab Buck’s foot through the hospital blankets—shaking it in the same way he’s woken his father up on many a bleary-eyed morning. The familiarity of the gesture makes Eddie’s head spin. But of course, there’s no response from the comatose man on the bed. “I thought you said he was sleeping,” Chris mumbles, angrily swiping at his cheeks, and Eddie’s already broken heart shatters all over again for whatever hope his son had just lost when his expectations were so cruelly dashed. . While Buck sleeps, and dreams in the aftermath of the lightning strike, Eddie tries desperately to hold himself together.

Don't Take the Money by HMSLusitania

“You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world,” Chimney says, coming up to the table and picking up one of the smoke detectors. “It just feels like it, Buck. Trust me, I know.” “I’m pretty sure it might actually be the end of the world,” Buck says. “Considering this is the sixth time I’ve lived this day.” Chimney stares at him for a beat and then his eyebrows lift. “Wait, are you like – dude, are you in Groundhog Day?” OR The post-lawsuit time-loop AU literally no one asked for.

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests / @fcntasmas

Buck used to speed through yellow lights; now they’re his favorite part of the drive. -- or; a glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston

The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind. +++ [Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

as lucky as us by hammersmiths

One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.

[aerialflight]

another fic rec list! (march edition)

I read so many good fics this month that I HAD to recommend. And again, I wildly pingponged between fandoms, though some still stuck around so you're in luck. Enjoy!

[Star Trek] (found some more! and reread old favorites)(also, fell in love with multiple ships)

Manner of Attraction by LiterallyThePresident

Ship: Spock/Leonard McCoy

“Spock, you think I’m sexy, right?” McCoy laughed “Yes.” Spock said honestly, and all three of them seemed to stop short

(short, sweet, and sparked my interest in this ship! it's my gateway drug fic and was what made me curious enough to hunt for more. definitely recommend! XD)

Anything You Can Do by igrockspock for ictus

Ship: Jim Kirk/Hikaru Sulu

'Anything you can do, I can do better' is not a healthy relationship philosophy - unless you’re Jim and Hikaru.

(listen, LISTEN, i love rarepairs and my god, this was written so fucking well and made me laugh multiple times. also, hikaru sulu is a bamf and i love when people portray him as the competent man he is! seriously, please give this a try, you won't regret it!)

freefall (flying) by tantamoq

Ship: Jim Kirk/Hikaru Sulu

Kirk is used to falling - what he isn't prepared for is the moment when he might actually hit the ground.

(again! a must read for this rarepair that i've fallen in love with nfewiofewa. seriously, i'm in a hole and i WILL drag people down with me! the potential of this relationship is too much! too powerful! please give it a go, i swear you won't regret it! this fic is fantastic!!)

Quirks and Their Side Effects by highschool-facelesshellion (orphan_account)

Ship: Jim Kirk/Leonard McCoy

Jim Kirk's always been a weirdo. Leonard could use some more weird.

(YES! LET THEM BE WEIRD!! truly, i accept every headcanon and everything this fic has spoken into the world, it's too good not to be true. i actually cried at some parts, you'll know which just from reading it. their friendship/queer-romantic or whatever the hell these two have here is so fucking good and i love it so so much!! seriously, please please read!!)

Long Road Home by EternalSheWolf for eyres

“It’s the greatest ship ever built.” His voice cracks, and he tells himself it’s because he’s been speaking for probably days now and he’s thirsty and his throat is probably bleeding and Bones will kill him, goddamit, Jim – A tear leaks out of the corner of his eye. “I want to go home.” He whispers.

(every time. every fucking time god damn it. *sobbing*)

Houses Made Of Earth by nsmorig for oneatatime

Ship: Spock/Leonard McCoy

In which Spock moves in with, uses the first name of, and falls in love with, Leonard McCoy. More-or-less in that order.

(okay, i just love the author and how they write. full stop. the slow building relationship and understanding between bones and spock was so rewarding and sweet. it's very introspective on both sides and explores what troubles and life changing things they're each going through, while also changing what they thought about the other. it's slow and thoughtful and pulled me in bit by bit. i absolutely recommend both the fic and this author in general, it's so good!!)

Pavlov's Cuddles by InsaneSociopath

Ships: Jim Kirk/Spock, Philip Boyce/Christopher Pike

Chris decides the absolute best way to get Jim to behave is to classically condition him using candy. Because. Um. That's perfectly normal and acceptable right?

(the entire premise of this fic sounds so weird but it works! jim is autistic and chris is deeply, truly weird. his whole relationship with boyce made me cackle so much! boyce has to suffer through chris's shenanigans and yet enables him constantly so he only has himself to blame lmao! and spock! is so cute and every time he showed up it's amazing haha! if you just want to have a good time and watch a successful trainwreck of a man try and adopt jim kirk, this is 100% for you lol)

-

[The Witcher] (yup! again. these idiots won't leave me alone)

The Neverending Jaskier by TheSilverQueen

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

Geralt goes fishing for a djinn to solve his sleeplessness. He is not expecting to fish up a man instead. Especially not a cursed, eternally doomed to resurrect bard of a man.

(i know this sounds ridiculous, but the author is just so good at making it believable. i love how geralt slowly starts to fall for jaskier, it's gradual and heartfelt and he doesn't want it lol. and so many of his problems are solved just because of sequence of events and how ridiculous jaskier is, which amuses me a lot. please read!)

in the belly of the beast by TheSilverQueen

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

On the fifth day after Jaskier is swallowed alive by a lake monster, he meets a Witcher.

Part 8 of The Witcher Flash Fic Challenge

(the concept was so funny that i had to read it. and i was right, it's hilarious! seriously, please read! it made me laugh like a hyena and i never once thought someone can draw inspiration from fullmetal alchemist like this. the fact this is the same author right above has me believing they're just really good at making wild premises work lol. it's amazing!)

no reason to run by SummerFrost

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

"You'll change your mind one day," says the innkeep. "The road can't love you back." What a strange way to flatten something so beautiful, Jaskier thinks. What a small way to love. Or: When Jaskier is hit with a curse that prevents him from having sex, he's lucky that the first person he meets is a Witcher. It's even luckier that Jaskier is used to hitting the road, because Geralt isn't waiting up.

(this fic has everything! it's hilarious, it's soft and tender, and it makes me want to hang it up on a wall for posterity. it's romantic, in the sense that jaskier sees the beauty of everything around him and geralt can't help but be drawn in by it. i couldn't help but be drawn in by it. also, it's so incredibly poly and i love that aspect of the fic, it painted love as such a giving yet selfish act and it's beautiful because of it. as geralt said in this fic, jaskier is a poet, ergo, the author is a goddamn poet and it shows. seriously, please read, it's so damn good!)

Keeping Crows by Castillon02

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

If it was some kind of weird religious thing, it was for a god Geralt had never heard of. Probably it was just a weird Jaskier thing. Crows, of all creatures! Corpse eaters. Grain stealers. No one liked crows. But Jaskier was voluntarily traveling with a Witcher; maybe he just had poor taste.

(the metaphor!! geralt is a crow! jaskier loves things that aren't meant to be loved and is loved back for it! also, i personally just love crows so this love letter for them had me kicking my feet in delight. seriously, please please read! i want to hug this to my chest and sleep with it, it was so warm.)

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[Harry Potter & Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them] (yeah, i know, what?? i don't know what to tell you fnewpfwa)

Preantepenultimate by lonerofthepack

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamander

Newt Scamander had not intended to return to New York, much less the Woolworth building. Nevertheless, he arrived on the second of May, bedraggled and soaking from the spring rains with his arm trapped in a junior auror's grip, and just in time to make himself useful. Percival Graves has survived Grindelwald, with the scars to show for it, and returned to his role as Director of Magical Security despite a newly developed difficulty in speaking aloud. When Theseus Scamander’s younger brother gets dragged into the bullpen at precisely the right moment to be helpful, Graves seizes the opportunity to bring in a magizoologist for a sorely needed fledgling Beasts division, and a battle-tested asset into the MACUSA fold. Perhaps he should have expected chaos to follow in the path of a dragon rider.

Part 4 of Reticence 'verse

(*buries face in hands* fnewiofae it's so goddamn jane austen. the slow building romance, the respect they have for each other, the fact there's a freaking marriage of convenience plot that isn't contrived and makes sense, all of it! a victorian romance? in 1920s new york?? more likely than you think. god, i got so obsessed while reading this and flew through it in 2 days, it's so good!! and the fact that they show! real actual repercussions of graves imprisonment by grindlewald! he's selectively mute and the author expands how he now manages to live with it in a world where he went through something so traumatic is *chefs kiss* brilliant! and newt is so competent and graves recognizes that and is competent himself and i just, god, GOD, this is the best characterization for this ship i've ever seen, i love it so so much nfiewopewa. seriously, please please read this! i'm obsessed!!!)

Ad Sistendam Furto Magicae by InsaneSociopath

Ships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley

Hermione is all out of fucks to give. Ron and Harry reluctantly approve.

(time travel fic! a solid, fantastic read and i loved every minute of it! and the fact there's a tag specifically saying they stan ron is all it took to win me over lol. god, it's so hard to find a good ron in fics, drives me mad. if you want to have a fun time and watch as the trio run wild through hogwarts, this is definitely for you :D)

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[Buffy the Vampire Slayer] (look it's just one series that i immediately got obsessed with. but it made my month so i NEED to recommend it NOW.)

wouldn't it be nice? (in the kind of world where we belonged) by SummerFrost

Ship: Spike/Buffy

Spike is still beneath her, so hard he's vibrating, and a second ago she was living in this amazing, perfect, fresh piece of Dubble Bubble bubblegum world. A second ago, she loved him. Or: The thing about Willow's will-be-done spell is that, yeah, obviously it sucks that it happened with Spike. But now that all those totally fake lovey-dovey feelings are gone, Buffy is starting to worry that she'll never get them back—with anyone. Too bad the only person who might understand is her mortal enemy.

Part 1 of wouldn't it be nice?

(*deep breath* i need this like i need air. i don't really go for buffy fics but fuck, this is incredible. it's the same author who wrote one of the witcher fics on this list and their writing is just as beautiful here. it really looks at the aftermath of the episode something blue and what it means for both spike and buffy. and as for the rest of this series, it continues on to later seasons of buffy and how spike and buffy being an established relationship changes things in the future. this is the most healthy version of the buffy/spike ship i've ever seen and it's honestly heartbreaking to think about what could've happened if they had just talked to each other. this has become one of my favorite buffy fics ever and i absolutey recommend this to people, it's brilliant!)

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[Dimension 20] (i'm so random. also, currently watching unsleeping city s2 so i'm probably gonna rec more fics in the future, not sure)

the i love you fic by jorjudje

Fandom: Fantasy High

a scenario for each and every bad kids duo in which they tell each other they love them.

(this is the sweetest fantasy high fic in the fandom, i will die on this hill!! they love each other so much! the most friendship fic to ever friendship!! god, this made me want to watch fantasy high all over again, i love the bad kids so much fneiwofpewa)

everyone's a pessimist, I see a future painted in pink by HighAsAFlyingFish

Fandom: Fantasy High

Early Freshman year the newly formed Bad Kids run into themselves from the future. Or maybe a future? Who knows, time travel is weird, have another ice cream.

(time travel time travel time travel!! seeing how much the bad kids have grown up compared to freshman year always makes me feel teary eyed. and also cackle like a hyena, the freshmen have NO context on ANYTHING and it's hilarious XD)

Modify Memory by foxfantasma

Fandom: The Unsleeping City

“Pete,” the first man says slowly, like he’s trying to calm a spooked child. “What’s my name?” “Kingston,” Pete answers automatically, the feelings of trust and home and a fragment of being shouted at in a bodega he’s never been to all conflicting and coexisting in his skull. He hasn’t tripped this bad since the episode that had gotten him on the antipsychotics in the first place, and even this makes that look like a walk in the park. He can’t afford to get sent back to the hospital, not without insurance, and he really needs to get it together before someone calls an ambulance, or worse, the cops. “You’re Kingston Brown,” he says firmly, hopes to everything there is that he’s right. Or: Pete doesn’t remember being awakened to the Unsleeping City and has a rough time //Chapter two is Kingston’s pov

(i just finished watching s1 and immediately started hunting for kingston and pete friendship fics cause i NEEDED it. and then i found this and wow, it's such a great character study for both pete and kingston, i loved it! please read!!)

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[Deadpool and Wolverine] (we're back bitches)

Rotten Ones by atimefeeler

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

“Oh my god,” Wade said. “I’m an idiot.” “Yes. And?” Logan snapped. “I forgot Logan died in 2029,” Wade said, horrified. “It’s 2024." ... (It's okay, Wade. The writers forgot too.) Deadpool and The Worst Wolverine join forces with the X-Men to save Laura and the kids from Project X-23, stop the Westchester Event, and prevent mutant extinction. Oh, and they also fall in love while they do it.

(i combed through so many fics and found this gem among the rubble of my search. it's soft and full of hurt/comfort, yet also plot driven and full of character interactions and moments between wolverine and the x-men of deadpool's timeline. and i have so much respect for the author's attempt to make sense of fox's bizarre timeline of events for the x-men series lol. i'm so invested in this fic and the slow burn between logan and wade has me kicking my feet in delight, it's wonderful! seriously, please read! i'm so glad i found this!)

Harvest Moon by SlugSniffing

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Logan still can't recall anything from his past, no matter where he goes or who he speaks to. He's at the end of his rope when a mercenary crash-lands at his feet in Bobby Drake's kitchen. (set during the events of X2 - consider this X2 featuring Deadpool-movieverse Deadpool, complete with Origins-era Wade backstory.)

(i'm not fucking kidding when i say i think the author is deapool, their end notes always has me fucking cackling, they sound exactly like him it's amazing. truly, this fic is so damn good and the writing is stellar! there were so many moments where i actually started crying because the emotions the author managed to convey got too fucking real, my GOD. and the plot! wow!! deadpool is inserted in the plot so seamlessly that i honestly wish i could watch this version of events play out on the big screen, it's so much fun! and heartbreaking! seriously, please read this, i'm so so excited to see what happens next and so will you!)

Mr. Forgettable by Arwriter

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Wade’s off the couch, moving slowly until he’s standing right in front of Logan. He’s eyeing him carefully, thoughtfully, like he can piece together a solution to whatever the hell is happening right now. “You’re not just doing this so you can get out of buying dinner, are you?" “Fuck you.” Or: Even if he can't quite place his face, Logan doesn't think he could ever forget Wade Wilson.

(i both want to punch and hug logan, he's really going Through It. this fic is both incredibly angsty yet sweet at the same time, amnesic logan deserves a damn hug! and wade is Suffering and just as bad as him. god, they're so dumb nfewiofpewa)

[orphiclovers]

Avatar - fundamentally broken skill?

This is a thing I have been thinking about. The way powers (skills, stigmas, whatever) work in the world of ORV is fascinating in that they are not designed to help the incarnation or adjust to their bodies like a classical superpower. It's repeated many times that the Star Stream is a cruel place, so of course it makes nothing easy on them. Just look at how many times Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung bleed when using their skills. Or how Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk were destroyed mentally by their repeated lifetimes - don't even get me started on Regression.

And Avatar is one of the skills that is the most developed. I've talked about how manifesting it seemingly splits you in two (I recommend reading this previous meta before this post) but what does that split entail, exactly? Here's my theories.

1. Author/Character divide.

If we take 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk as an example, it's very clear cut. The black coat wearing YJH would be the 'character' who stays and dies and the white coat wearing YJH would be the 'author' who choses to write another story. 'Character' used here in the sense that Kim Dokja would look at them and be able to see/assign them this metaphysical trait, as he does for everyone else.

With Kim Dokja, it is basically easy too. 51% is the author, while 49% is the character, probably.

Han Sooyoung is more difficult. I think since Kim Dokja looks at 1863rd and says she is already a 'character', while 3rd stays a person the whole time IIRC, 3rd would be the 'author' self, even if this seems counterintuitive and like it should be the opposite - this makes the most sense with the second part of this theory.

Technically every author (or reader - someone with the knowledge of the narrative) becomes a 'character' (i.e forgets everything) at some point as per Star Stream rules, but this has not yet happened to Han Sooyoung of the 3rd round.

Still, it's not a perfect fit. Both Han Sooyoungs write novels and neither Kim Dokja does (not that writing is 100% necessary to be an 'Author', since YJH is one and barely writes anything until the epilogue) But it's still an interesting connection to explore.

Onto the second part.

2. Does the divide into two...actually work long term, because it doesn't seem to, based on the evidence we have?

First, let's look at 49% Kim Dokja. Perhaps Kimcom would have accepted him as the real Kim Dokja, like they do with Han Sooyoung, if he didn't ACT like a wet paper towel. The detoriation in mental faculties is very apparent and jarring and soon he falls apart physically too. This doesn't happen to 3rd Han Sooyoung, who is also an avatar, so what gives?

Well, it might not happen to 3rd but definitely did to 1863rd Han Sooyoung.

A 'probability storm is gnawing at her memories' and there's physical effects too. She says this has been happening for a while. Even though she has found a way of slowing down the effects it clearly doesn't fix the issue and eventually, despite her resistance, she might have become like 49% Kim Dokja.

(Maybe that's why she was so ready to leave her companions after the scenarios were over. If rereading stuff helps, perhaps that's also why she kept a diary of her round that 3rd YJH eventually got? Just spitballing, this isn't part of the theory.)

She names two possible causes to this detorriation - exessive use of the Avatar skill or Ways of Survival. 'Ways of Survival' probably refers to the Star Stream rule that once you reach the end of your knowledge you forget you were an author and become a 'character', which 1863 justifiably doesn't want to happen. Later, Kim Dokja comments on her 'status as a character' too, so it is related to that.

With 'overuse of Avatar' she could be refering to the way she makes thousands of them in her mind, but if we look at 49% Kim Dokja and the way their sympthoms match pretty closely, it's likely also the fact that another her - the main body/'author' - is running around in another worldline.

So for these two it checks out that one of the halves is always unstable.

With 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk, well, it's hard to tell how it would have gone, since black coat YJH dies almost immediately. But the very fact that his avatar didn't even make it a couple minutes is also pretty telling.

As previously stated, nothing is stopping a skill from being harmful for the user. So maybe, one half of the initial avatar pair gets the short end of the stick and ends up slowly disintegrating. That's the basics of this theory.

Technically 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream too but it is by a different mechanism, unrelated to the Avatar skill. First, he overconsumes probablility and shrinks into a child - this happens to Secretive Plotter too, it's just a thing.

Then, he loses his memories and if Kimcom hadn't interviewed would have become the same exact child that SP takes away in the subway, so that was just the time loop asserting itself. Like alt-1863rd YJH losing his memories when regressing to the 3rd round, or 1863 Han Sooyoung going dormant in Young Han Sooyoung's mind on the day the scenarios start. (Each of these are the looping points of the universe for yhk.)

But something about the way 1863rd Han Sooyoung in those 13 years sheds pieces of her story to create TWSA is very reminiscient of how 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream on that subway. So perhaps there is some kind of connection there too.