#i could have put this on my main but to be real with you: i simply am not gonna put my rpf and incest acc on my main LMAO leave me alone
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Hi!
Happy 8x06 day :D
I recently got into 9-1-1 (read: binged all seven seasons and five episodes in two weeks) and I can honestly say no other fandom drew me in this quickly - that being said I love the color theories surrounding our boys, however I am still a bit unclear on what the significance of Eddie's yellow / Buck's blue is and how do they play into eachother?
Hi!! Welcome to the madness. I will link my main posts about the blue and yellow but a lot happened this season already, so I'll do an overview here too (x x x x x)
Basically, Buck's coming out arc is blue and yellow coded and Buck is dressed in shades of blue through the whole thing.
The culmination of Buck's coming out arc is the coming out scene in 705 because it is the only moment Buck chooses to come out. So this is Buck's blue.
While Buck was doing all that, Eddie was in the sun, or surrounded by gold/yellow.
So in the coming out scene, we have Buck settled into his blue and Eddie in front of his yellow.
But the blue and yellow coding of Buck and Eddie actually started in 201. Down to the way that "Practice rounds have blue caps. Gold caps are live." with the blue and yellow lights on the ambulance ceiling. If you pay attention while watching they have a lot of scenes with blue and yellow elements.
Some more blue and yellow coding.
But the main thing here is the will reveal.
For all intents and purposes, this is an aborted love confession, and Buck is in yellow, Eddie is in blue. But more importantly, Buck is in the yellow that we have behind Eddie for the coming-out scene.
And interestingly enough, the blue of the wall, is the blue of Buck's hoodie in the hospital when he comes out to everyone. So they are switched.
Also, during the 601 dinner, when they establish the couch thing, they are blue and yellow, like, Buck's grey is blue in the same way Eddie's beige is yellow.
So the idea is that Eddie will be sandy yellow beige the same way Buck was navy blue while figuring himself out. One example of that is the sandy shirt Eddie is wearing while talking to Bobby on 804. Also the general blue and yellow coding of Eddie's arc that episode.
Something else that happened is that Eddie was wearing Buck's blue at the hospital in 805.
Which leads us to today's clip. I color-corrected the clip because @stagefoureddiediaz thought that it might be the same shirt, which would put Eddie firmly in the yellow category while talking to the priest, and tie things to that conversation in 601.
This puts more into the theory that Eddie find his way to his shade of yellow the same way Buck found his shade of blue. I think since Buck worked through darker shades of blue to find his color, Eddie will do the opposite and will be lighter shades of yellow, working up to something in this real of yellow.
And that the buddie canon will be with Buck in his blue and Eddie finally in his yellow. So I'm on high alert for them in blue and anything that could be categorized as yellow.
And this got longer than I planned oajksoaksoaks if you read this I love you 🫶
I will taglist this one (interact with this post if you wanna get tagged)
@sparkedblaze @caw-salem @dreamofsomepiphany @100ceruleaneyes @linus-lucy @chaosqueery @gina-spike @chimchiminie98 @elvensorceress @singitforthegirls @dangerpronebuddie @182daysof @steadfastsaturnsrings @sparklespiff @inell @miles--to--go @jesuisici33 @wolfdeans @lunarsolar1 @joshwritesfics @glasscities @kejfeblintz @stagefoureddiediaz @mosaicstardust @eddiedisasterdiaz @hermioneindisguise @queerprincesseddiediaz @lookforanewangle @becausebuckley @lemotmo @thenainitaldisaster
@dingdongfries @angelcamael
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my aftg hot takes
most of these are pretty lukewarm but i'm gonna get flamed for them anyway but whatever. spoilers ??? ahead ??? idk read at ur own risk
i don't think andreil ever say i love you to each other; i feel like the discourse about this is virtually endless ever since nora said it but honestly her explanation was so valid??? they're such a show not tell couple it just makes so much sense for them to show the "i love you" in their actions than ever saying the words out loud. esp bc neither of them have ever really heard those words and have them mean anything real or true or actually loving. personally i think their little percentages and the "i hate you"'s and kisses and keys mean more to them than an "i love you" ever could. i'm not a purist on this tho i do think i could visualise it happening maybe somewhere along the road i just think nora's explanation for this is very very in line with canon andreil.
i don't hate thea muldani; i've made a post abt this but basically my thoughts around her are literally just: she's a human being, and she's never gonna be perfect. i also find it very...interesting how the fandom likes to flame thea (an explicitly stated woman of colour) for being "problematic" and a "terrible person/character" when she doesn't act all that different from andrew, neil and kevin (white men) ??? idk it seems a little strange to me bc she seems pretty on par with them on whatever moral compass this batshit crazy fandom has decided to impose on these fictional and very much morally ambiguous characters. anyway go check out my post i go a lot deeper into thea's character and why she does a lot of things wrong but i don't rlly think she's deserving of the insane amounts of hate she gets in the fandom.
i don't think andreil ever get married; this MIGHT be me projecting bc the idea of marriage is just a very complicated and rough concept in my mind but also just i feel like there's something so beautiful about andreil never really putting a label on their relationship??? like they never define it by calling the other their "boyfriend" or "husband" they just are. they have nothing "concrete" binding them like a marriage certificate but they choose to stay with each other through everything. idk it's real to me but again i'm not a purist people can do whatever they want.
i've said it before but i'll keep saying it till enough people hear me: the aftg fandom mischaracterises literally the main fucking characters; i'm mostly talking about andrew and ESPECIALLY neil here bc neil is not a sweet, sunshiney, oblivious, blushy softboy and andrew is not a cold, unemotional, stoic, "conceal don't feel" stone. since i've already bitched on and on about neil's mischaracterisation let's just talk about andrew for a sec. i think andrew is actually a deeply emotional person and is fully aware of the feelings he experiences. does he vocalise or express them often? no but more often than not they show themselves anyway. him crashing out after neil was kidnapped, letting himself get walked like a dog by neil for three books straight, choking allison for slapping aaron, idk i could go on. but yeah you get it.
i don't actually think neil is that oblivious; before people come at me like "but nora said!" or whatever yeah, i know she said he's as dense as a brick when it comes to people flirting with him. considering how much of the ec the aftg fandom likes to disregard allow me to disregard this little bit of it, yeah? this isn't me tryna impose my own projections onto nora's characters, this is lit just me tryna explain how i understand neil josten (he's my bsf btw). he literally clocks his feelings for andrew in trk (after his deep convo™ with nicky) but he just files it away for later bc he doesn't consider attraction or romantic interest anything to be thinking about considering he's got the mafia and his serial killer dad on his tail. i also don't really blame him for not catching onto andrew's feelings earlier (tho doesn't he get pretty fucking close during that one convo they have in exites in trk???? someone correct me if i'm wrong but) bc dude andrew was out here sending fucking mixed ass signals like bro was saying "you are a pipe dream" and "i hate you" in the same fucking conversations like??? neil has always taken andrew at face value and he's not about to question him now. he's also never confused or uncertain about nicky or marissa and what their comments about him meant, he just genuinely does not gaf about them so he doesn't acknowledge them or pay them any attention in his narration. i truly truly think his dismissal of all the advances made upon him in aftg were borne out of indifference, not obliviousness.
have already said this in detail but i don't think andrew's actually a misogynist; the wording doesn't feel right. i'd probably describe andrew's distrust of women (esp. those in motherly/mother roles) as a similar ingrained wariness that neil has for older men. this is something borne out of trauma and shitty experiences that takes time and trust to unlearn. nora says a lot of things the fandom disregards and for me, this is one of those things i'm a little iffy about. misogyny actually isn't reflected in andrew's actions at all, i'd say. does he respect women? no. but he doesn't respect anyone unless they've actually earned it. and among the people he does respect and care for there are women (renee, bee). he doesn't treat women any differently and obv doesn't think they're any weaker than men are (considering renee wipes the floor w him their first sparring sesh). andrew's an equal opportunity hater and i don't think he actually has any sexist or even misogynistic tendencies. i think what is there is just a slightly biased worldview of disliking/mistrusting mother figures, given his bad experiences w tilda and cass (they've left him w more long-term emotional damage that's probably rlly difficult and complicated for him to work through esp considering cass did love??? him and he did want her enough to be willing to suffer dr*ke to be close to her; there's more to it but for the sake of word count i won't go into it) but honestly it doesn't actually show that much??? if people wanna say he hates women, sure, but for one, he doesn't hate a lot of things he's just very indifferent to them and two, he holds a pretty similar apathetic distaste for most people and things, so it's not like a very big distinction. i also think the whole "no girls" thing w aaron was very much a personal thing, and his mistrust of katelyn probably came from aaron's past (apparently negative) experiences w other girlfriends and friendships in general. and if i remember correctly the deal wasn't even "no girls" it was just "family only" which is why aaron didn't make friends w the rest of the foxes either. i digress but i don't think saying "andrew isn't a misogynist" is robbing him of any nuance as a character.
i like nicky and honestly feel similarly towards him as i do about thea; he isn't perfect and never will be and i think while the way he acts towards neil and others (see: matt, kevin) is pretty untoward and inappropriate, i also do see where he's coming from, esp after aaron's explanation of it. that it's a defence mechanism coming from someone who's experienced a lot of prejudice and harm because of his sexuality. obv i think everyone can agree his assault on neil was fucked up but i think nora was right in saying that nicky was high and drunk and not rlly in his right mind at the time, and he does apologise and i'm pretty sure she also said he and neil work it out privately anyway. he's a messy character and definitely not perfect queer rep but again, he's pretty realistic, and i think he's honestly a rlly well-written and complex character.
#defeated by the fucking word count again#born to yap forced to follow the word limit#zoe yaps#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#the sunshine court#tsc#andrew minyard#thea muldani#aaron minyard#nicky hemmick#andreil
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UNSCRIPTED — toji fushiguro x female reader [chapter 2/?]
summary: you’re a faceless author of scandalous smut — great at writing steamy scenes but totally clueless about real-life romance (and with no one to match your freak). enter toji fushiguro, a hot stranger you (accidentally) throw up on during a drunken night out. surprise! he’s also the future voice actor for your smutty novel’s main character. can you survive the awkwardness of your disastrous meet-cute while keeping your identity (and dignity) a secret? welcome to the chaos of your own erotic fantasy romcom!
content warning & tags: (erotic) voice artist! toji, (smut) writer! reader, smutty content!! [will be added over the course of the series], sort of workplace romance, secret/anon identity, slight social media au, meet-cute, virgin!reader, single dad dilf! toji, kid! megumi, strangers to lovers (?), she fell first but he fell harder, mentions of other characters (satoru gojo, suguru geto, megumi fushiguro, shoko eiri, brief mentions of ryomen sukuna)
notes: hi friends !! i hope u're liking the series so far <3 seems like persephone! suguru can't catch a break huh D: i wanted to highlight the same scene[s] from suguru's perspective, just to give him a lil depth :") if u want to keep up with the series more quicker, i highly suggest keeping up with the series on ao3 [for quicker updates ^^] thank you to my taglist for their support too :)
read on ao3! ● series masterlist
➤ related au: persephone [business tycoon! sukuna x reader]
the drive to megumi’s school was unusually quiet.
normally, toji would lean into his usual “cool, brooding single dad” act — just enough to avoid attention but keep an edge. but today, he’d done something weirdly out of character: asked you to tag along.
not that he’d admit it was for any other reason than megumi, obviously.
nope. definitely nothing else to it.
just… kinda nice having you along for the ride, right?
the two of you settled into his car, and you couldn’t help but smirk at how the radio was suspiciously off. toji didn’t give any explanation, but you were pretty sure it was a preventative measure to avoid another “iris” moment and the resulting accidental kiss.
which, okay, was kinda cute.
toji tapped his fingers against the wheel, casting the occasional sideways glance at you before finally saying, “so… just curious.” he cleared his throat, like he was trying not to make a big deal out of the question. “what made you, uh… you know, want to write those books?”
you blinked. “oh, my books?”
“yeah, the… passionate ones.” he coughed, looking anywhere but at you. “like, what inspired you to write those… intensely worded stories?”
you laughed, caught off guard. “okay, first of all, ‘intensely worded?’ that’s one way to put it.”
“look, i’m trying to be polite,” he said, giving you a sidelong smirk that made your stomach flip. “but seriously. i mean, it’s a specific line of work. what got you into it?”
you chewed on the inside of your cheek, feeling the familiar blush creeping up.
“uh, well… honestly, i just thought it was something fun to try out. i like romance and, you know… writing what people connect with. people like the, um, more intense stuff, so… figured i’d give it a shot.”
he nodded, taking it all in. “huh. so, all that… stuff you write —” he paused, trying to phrase it carefully. “that’s from experience or…?”
you let out an awkward laugh, your face heating up even more. “not exactly. i… well, i actually haven’t… i mean, i’m still… y’know.”
you cleared your throat. “a virgin.”
toji’s eyes went wide.
“wait, you’re telling me… all that detail, the way you describe things, and you haven’t even…”
“nope.” you shook your head, biting back a smile at his shocked expression. “guess you could say i have a good imagination?”
he let out a low whistle, looking at you with something that was a mix of admiration and… something else you couldn’t quite place. “well, i gotta give you credit. you write it like you’ve, uh, lived it.”
you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “guess it’s all about the research.”
he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “research, huh? well, you’ve got some serious talent in the ‘research’ department then. i’d hate to see what you’d write if you actually… y’know, had the experience.”
“well, maybe one day i will,” you shot back, feeling a little bolder. “and then my books will be even better.”
he chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “you’re something else.”
for a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, a silent understanding passing between you.
the tension was thick enough to cut, and toji looked like he was about to say something else when megumi’s school finally came into view. he let out a breath, the moment effectively broken as he focused on finding a parking spot.
but as you both waited for megumi to come out, you couldn’t help but wonder what was going through toji’s head… and if he was thinking the same thing you were.
the second megumi spotted you and toji at the school gates, he was off like a shot, running toward you with all the enthusiasm of a kid who’d been waiting all day to see his favorite people. his grin was wide, and his little backpack bounced as he bolted up. and to your surprise (and toji's too), he didn’t go for his dad first — nope, he ran right into your arms like you were his personal safe haven.
“you came!” he squealed, hugging you tightly around the waist as if he hadn't just seen you yesterday. you laughed, hugging him back just as warmly, and you could practically feel the teachers’ eyes drilling holes into your back.
“of course i did,” you said, ruffling his hair. “what, you thought i’d miss out on picking you up?”
“nope!” he said proudly, pulling back and grabbing your hand as if to make sure you wouldn’t vanish.
toji stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his smirk as he watched the scene unfold. yeah, he wasn’t about to complain about you being here — not at all.
as you all made your way back to the car, you couldn’t help but notice a few teachers and parents exchanging knowing looks, no doubt remembering how toji introduced you as his “colleague” yesterday. they didn’t look too convinced anymore.
inside the car, megumi settled comfortably between the two of you in the backseat, clutching his backpack like he was about to embark on the world’s most exciting road trip.
“sooo!” megumi started, a mischievous look in his eyes. “did you two have fun while i was in school?”
toji let out a tiny cough from the driver’s seat, looking at you in the rearview mirror with a hint of a smirk. “megumi, what exactly do you mean by ‘fun’?”
“i dunno, daddy!” megumi rolled his eyes in that dramatic way only an eight-year-old could pull off. “you were smiling all morning! you never do that!”
you tried to hide a smile yourself, glancing sideways at toji. “he was smiling all morning, huh?”
toji shot you a playful glare before focusing back on the road. “you got somethin’ to say about that?”
“nope, nothing at all,” you replied, suppressing a giggle.
“you’re smiling too!” megumi added, turning his full attention to you with a face that was way too smug for a kid his age. “did you like being with my dad today?”
your eyes widened as you exchanged a quick look with toji. “well, yes, i had a great time working with your dad,” you said carefully, trying to dodge the landmine that megumi had unknowingly set.
“yeah, but did you and daddy, like, do anything else? like on tv?”
toji almost choked, and you couldn’t stop a laugh from slipping out. “megs! we just talked and laughed a bit, nothing like in the movies, promise.”
megumi looked skeptical, folding his arms. “then why are you both acting all funny?”
“what do you mean, ‘funny’?” toji asked, raising an eyebrow in the rearview mirror.
“like… i dunno, all shy and weird,” megumi huffed, his brows furrowing in confusion. “like when the kids at school talk about people who like each other.”
your cheeks were definitely heating up, and you could tell toji was trying not to laugh.
“sometimes people just… act like that when they’re really comfortable,” toji explained, trying to sound nonchalant. “not everything’s like it is on tv.”
“oh,” megumi said, though he didn’t look totally convinced.
“soooo, when are you guys gonna have a playdate without me?”
“what?” you and toji both burst out at the same time, while megumi just grinned, proud of himself for catching you both off guard.
“you two look like you want more playdates,,” he added with a shrug, like he was the expert on the subject.
toji shook his head, laughing under his breath. “how about you let the adults figure that out, hm?”
“fine, fine,” megumi said, obviously pleased with himself. “but i wanna know when you guys have another playdate, ‘kay?”
you patted his shoulder, chuckling. “deal, kiddo. you’ll be the first to know.”
as toji pulled out onto the street, you settled back, sharing an amused look with him in the mirror. and as megumi continued his non-stop chatter about school, dinosaurs, and how he wanted both of you to come to his next soccer game, you felt that fuzzy feeling again — the same one from last night. maybe having these two around wasn’t so bad at all.
toji pulled up to his house, shifting into park before a sudden realization hit him like a freight train — you were still along for the ride. it was supposed to be a quick pickup, maybe a casual goodbye once megumi was dropped off, but here you were, in the passenger seat, smiling as megumi practically buzzed with excitement beside you.
"uh… so… yeah, this is… my place,” he said, scratching the back of his head, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. he wasn’t sure if he should invite you in or just wave goodbye with some half-baked excuse.
but before he could even finish his internal debate, megumi had his own plans.
“that means you can come see my room!” megumi exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he threw open the door and scrambled out of the car.
“oh, i don’t wanna intrude —” you started, already moving to say goodbye, but megumi was way ahead, bounding up the steps and glancing back with an impatient wave.
“c’mon!” he insisted, practically dancing in place with excitement. “you gotta see my plushies and my legos! oh, and my origami stuff, and —”
toji opened the front door, and as soon as you were inside, megumi was by your side again, tugging at your hand with a grip surprisingly strong for a kid. “you gotta see everything!” he said, eyes gleaming.
“okay, okay!” you laughed, letting him lead the way.
toji watched, a little dumbfounded. he’d seen megumi excited before, sure, but this was a whole new level. “hey, uh, megs, maybe she’s tired. we don’t wanna overwhelm her, y’know?” he said, trying to sound casual and almost hoping you’d back out to save him from his own nerves.
“no way!” megumi protested, his voice emphatic. “she’s gotta see my dinos and my race cars and my drawings too! pleaseeee?”
“don’t worry, i think i can handle it,” you chuckled, shooting toji a reassuring look.
he let out a sigh, feeling a mix of relief and… something else he really didn’t wanna unpack at the moment.
megumi practically dragged you down the hall toward what toji modestly called his “suite,” which was more like a sprawling kid paradise decked out in a swanky setup. it was undeniably luxurious — the kind of suite most people would call their whole apartment — but it was still a kid’s space through and through. plushies lay scattered around in a trail leading to the bedroom, where legos, crayons, toy cars, and origami creations decorated the floor in random bursts of color. every available surface was covered in megumi’s little projects and treasures.
“wow, megumi, you weren’t kidding!” you said, genuinely impressed. you walked over to a group of origami animals on his desk. “did you make all of these?”
“yep!” he puffed up his chest with pride, holding up a particularly crumpled paper crane. “this one’s my favorite. it didn’t come out great, but it’s special ‘cause daddy helped me with it.”
toji felt a funny warmth spread through his chest. he tried to brush it off, but it was hard to ignore seeing the two of you in his home, talking like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“and here’s mr. wiggles!” megumi said, suddenly pulling over a massive, well-loved teddy bear that looked like it’d been through a hundred battles. “daddy got him for me when i was little.”
“mr. wiggles is a great name,” you laughed, crouching down to inspect the bear. “i bet he’s been on a lot of adventures with you.”
“yeah, he’s been to the doctor with me, and the dentist, and he helps me with my homework sometimes,” megumi explained with the seriousness only an eight-year-old could muster.
toji chuckled, folding his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “he’s a busy bear, huh?”
“super busy,” megumi agreed, pulling you over to his lego city next.
“this is where the ninjas live, and over here’s where the dinosaurs hide.”
“oh, and here i thought ninjas and dinos couldn’t get along,” you teased, glancing over at toji, who was doing a poor job at hiding his amusement. “you must be the peacekeeper, megumi.”
“i am!” he laughed, then suddenly looked up at toji.
“daddy, can she stay for dinner?”
toji’s eyes widened slightly. he hadn’t even considered dinner yet.
but the thought of you here, in his space, a part of his evening routine with megumi… it felt way too good to resist.
“uh, well, if she’s got the time,” he mumbled, scratching his neck and pretending to be cool about it. “you don’t gotta stick around if you got other things.”
“actually, i’d love to stay, if that’s okay?” you said, glancing between them both.
toji tried to act casual, even though his heart was doing a little victory lap. “yeah, sure. why not?”
“yes!” megumi cheered, already running out the door. “i’ll get the table ready!”
“is he… always this excited?” you asked, turning to toji with a chuckle.
“not usually,” toji admitted, scratching the back of his head. “guess you got that effect on him.”
the three of you settled around the table, megumi proudly munching away on his ironman-themed plate, the red and gold colors a little faded from years of use. he shot you a grin, already halfway through explaining ironman’s latest mission to save the world… for the third time.
toji, meanwhile, sat across from you, feeling inexplicably fidgety as he set down the fine china he’d pulled from the back of a cabinet. he'd dusted off every inch of those plates — his mind still spinning with why he even bothered.
he wasn’t usually one for this kind of thing, but when he saw how carefully you ladled the stew into the bowls, he couldn’t help but notice you gave that same care to megumi too, nodding along as he chattered away about his superhero theories.
“you know, daddy never gets the cool plates out for anyone else,” megumi piped up, completely oblivious to the faint flush creeping up his dad’s face.
“oh really?” you chuckled, raising an eyebrow in toji’s direction. “well, i feel honored then. i’ll try not to drop it.”
toji groaned internally, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “kid’s got a big mouth,” he muttered, shooting megumi a faux warning look, though his own ears were burning.
“you’ve got good taste, though,” you teased him lightly, glancing down at the pristine white china with intricate blue patterns.
“yeah, well… s’just plates. they’re old,” toji shrugged, hoping that downplaying it would erase any significance you might read into the whole situation.
“old but pretty,” you said, not looking up as you ladled some stew for megumi, who was eagerly waiting with his bowl stretched out. “here you go, megumi. i made it a little less spicy for you, just like you asked.”
megumi’s eyes sparkled as he accepted the bowl. “thanks! you make the best stew!”
toji watched as you smiled back at megumi, completely absorbed in whatever he was babbling about, offering little “uh-huhs” and “reallys” as he animatedly described his favorite ironman scene. watching you like this, giving his kid your full attention even while busy in the kitchen, felt so… weird.
like something he didn’t realize was missing, but now that it was there, he couldn’t imagine going without it.
“and then ironman totally blasts the villain’s robot suit — kaboom!” megumi finished, flinging his arms wide as if to demonstrate the explosion.
“kaboom, huh?” you laughed, sitting back in your chair, clearly enjoying his enthusiasm. “sounds intense.”
“yeah! ironman doesn’t mess around,” megumi said with a sage nod, as if passing on some universal wisdom. “but he’s gotta protect everyone, even the people who don’t like him.”
“sounds like a pretty cool guy,” you mused, glancing over at toji with a small smile. “maybe you two have something in common.”
“oh, god,” toji groaned, but he couldn’t fight the smirk that tugged at his lips. “don’t give him ideas, he’ll think i’m gonna go fight crime or somethin’.”
“wouldn’t that be so cool?” megumi interjected, eyes sparkling. “you could be like… iron dad!”
toji rolled his eyes, but he caught the look on your face — amused, warm, like you were seeing a side of him that no one else really noticed.
and for some reason, that was way too close to the truth for comfort.
he cleared his throat, glancing down at his stew to avoid meeting your gaze.
“maybe i’ll just stick to keeping this kid in one piece,” toji muttered, but his heart was beating a little faster than usual.
and as megumi kept up his enthusiastic rambling, it all started to feel too cozy, too right. the clinking of plates, the soft warmth in the air, the way you didn’t rush megumi but let him take center stage as he shared his endless thoughts — it all blended together into something that felt like home, even if toji wouldn’t dare say it out loud.
as you reached for another spoonful of stew, listening intently to megumi’s latest story about his lego creations, toji realized that, yeah… this felt pretty damn right.
megumi clutched his book eagerly, eyes shining as he snuggled into bed, clearly over the moon that you’d agreed to stay for his bedtime story. he gave toji a serious look, announcing, “since daddy can’t do girl voices — cuz he’s a voicing actor, but he’s not that good — you gotta help with the girl lines, okay?”
“oh, yeah?” toji shot him a mock glare. “that’s a pretty big request, squirt. you sure i can’t just, y’know, growl like a tiger or something?”
megumi shook his head, adamant. “nope! you’re supposed to be the bear prince, and she’s the bunny princess! and then they meet at the river — just read, daddy.”
toji rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t hide the faint smile as he settled in beside megumi,
taking the book from his son’s hands. “alright, alright, let’s do this right. bunny princess and bear prince — sounds about as weird as it gets, but we’ll make it work.”
with megumi sandwiched between the two of you, you leaned over to see the page.
“the bunny princess hopped through the forest, searching for her friend, the bear prince, who was known for his wisdom and strength,” you read in a soft voice, giving it your best princess tone.
megumi nodded, satisfied. “much better than uncle gojo,” he whispered to you in a conspiratorial tone, “his princess voice is just… weird.”
toji stifled a snicker, picking up the next line.
“the bear prince, with his deep, growly voice, stepped out from behind the tree, saying, ‘i hear you’re lookin’ for a friend. well, look no further.’”
megumi giggled, clutching the blanket as he looked up at toji in admiration. “now that’s a good bear voice, daddy! you don’t gotta growl or nothing.”
you shot toji a playful look. “see? you’re already halfway to voice actor stardom.”
“sure, sure, as long as i don’t have to wear princess crowns, i think i’ll survive,” he smirked, giving the book back to you to read the bunny’s next line.
“‘oh, bear prince, i’m so happy to see you!’ the bunny princess chirped, hopping closer. ‘the forest feels so safe with you here.’”
toji took his turn, grinning.
“‘that’s right, princess. stick close to me, and nothing can harm you — not even that pesky fox from the riverbank.’”
megumi, eyes already starting to droop, nodded in sage approval, mumbling, “bears are super strong…”
as the story unfolded, with each of you taking on your character’s lines, you couldn’t help but notice how megumi’s little body relaxed more and more, eyelids growing heavier as he listened to the tale of the bunny princess and bear prince’s forest adventure.
finally, after you’d read the line where the bunny and bear bid each other goodnight under the stars, you heard megumi’s soft, even breathing.
you and toji shared a glance, both of you lowering your voices.
“looks like our audience conked out before the big finale,” you whispered with a smile, your voice barely above a murmur.
“heh,” toji chuckled, glancing at his son’s sleeping face. “usually he stays up longer, keeps asking for more.” he paused, watching you with a look that seemed to say more than his words. “maybe he’s just got a soft spot for princess voices… or maybe, you know, a good storyteller.”
a soft warmth settled in the quiet room, the gentle rise and fall of megumi’s breathing filling the space as you both stayed still for a moment, neither wanting to break the spell.
you stood up slowly from megumi’s bed, glancing down at the little guy, still out cold, his mouth slightly open as he clutched his iron man plush. the clock on the wall blinked “9:00 pm,” and your stomach sank a little — hadn’t you meant to leave hours ago?
but when you made a quiet move toward the door, toji was right there, leaning in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets.
“you, uh, really don’t have to rush,” he said, almost nonchalant, though his gaze flicked over to megumi. “i mean, for his sake, y’know. wouldn’t want him freaking out if he wakes up in the middle of the night and you’re gone…”
“oh, of course,” you murmured, feeling a warm, slightly strange fluttering sensation at his words.
“just… so he doesn’t get scared. yeah.”
you glanced down at yourself. god, what were you going to sleep in? your work clothes?
toji seemed to read your mind, though, tilting his head a bit. “i think i got some old clothes you could wear if you want,” he offered, looking you up and down with that calm, appraising look that made you feel like he saw a bit more than he let on. “not the most fashionable, but they’re clean.”
“thanks, that’d be great,” you said, offering a small smile, and you turned to head toward the door to the guest room — then stopped. “wait… i think i left my phone on his nightstand.”
before you could overthink it, you turned back abruptly, intending to slip past toji back into megumi’s room.
but somehow, in the dim lighting, the narrow doorway, the warmth of the moment… your face collided with his chest, and then, your lips met his, soft and sudden and all-consuming.
for a heartbeat, everything else fell away: the gentle ticking of the clock, the faint whirring of the a/c, even the warmth of megumi’s room.
you felt nothing but the weight of toji’s lips against yours, the subtle intake of his breath as he seemed to register just what was happening. there was a moment of hesitation, and then his hand instinctively moved to your waist, pulling you closer with a soft, undeniable insistence.
his voice was a low whisper, barely more than a breath between you. “so… you were just gonna leave without even saying goodbye?”
for a split second, everything froze — the dim hallway, the soft, ambient sounds of the house, the fact that you were standing right outside megumi’s door, where one sleepy sound could catch you both.
but that one breath against toji’s lips, so close, melted everything else away.
he didn’t pull back; if anything, his hold on your waist only tightened, fingers pressing just enough to send a warm ripple up your spine. his eyes met yours, slightly wide, as if he couldn’t quite believe he had you like this, so close. you could almost feel his heartbeat thrumming in sync with your own, and you let out a shaky breath, your lips brushing his again.
“this… is not what i planned when i came over,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out as your forehead touched his. “not — not in front of your kid’s room.”
“mm,” he whispered, gaze dropping to your lips, that barely-there smirk flickering across his face, “it’s a first for me too.” he held your gaze, his expression softening, something almost tender in his eyes as he raised his hand to gently brush a strand of hair from your face.
“but if you wanted to leave… you would’ve pulled away by now.”
you bit your lip at the way his thumb lingered on your cheek, his breath warm against your skin, and before you knew it, your lips found his again. this time, it was slower, unhurried, like you had all the time in the world to feel the way his mouth moved against yours, soft and then a little firmer, as he seemed to lose himself in the moment.
he leaned into you, pressing you just slightly against the wall, his hand sliding from your waist up to the small of your back, drawing you close. the quiet was filled only with the shared breaths between you two, a quiet hum that passed between your lips, as if even the smallest sound might wake megumi just on the other side of the wall.
you found your hand on his chest, fingers curling in his shirt, pulling him a little closer, wanting to deepen the kiss even though every bit of common sense told you to stop. his lips parted, pressing small, lingering kisses along your lower lip, his fingers tracing gentle circles along your back as though he was trying to savor every second. you were barely breathing, lost in the warmth of him, feeling him melt just a little against you.
“god, you’re making it hard to stop,” he murmured against your lips, his voice almost a growl but so quiet it barely even registered.
“i don’t think i want to,” you whispered back, eyes meeting his in the dim light. he held your gaze, his thumb tracing a soft line along your cheek, but he didn’t move away, staying close, his nose brushing yours in a way that was so tender you almost forgot how precarious this was.
you both laughed quietly, the sound soft and low, the kind of laugh that was more of a breath shared between you. toji glanced back at megumi’s door, and for a second, his face softened in a way you rarely saw, as if he couldn’t help but feel this moment was just a little forbidden.
“maybe we should… try this somewhere a little less dangerous,” he muttered, though he didn’t make any move to let go, his gaze flicking back to yours.
“you mean… like a first date or something?” you murmured, lips curling into a soft smile.
“guess i don’t mind a second kiss either,” he replied, brushing his lips against yours one last time before stepping back, the space between you suddenly feeling too cold, too quiet.
as he stepped back, the reality of the hallway — the very literal door to his son’s room right beside you — set in, but the warmth still lingered, and the smile he gave you as he walked you down the hall felt like a promise for something more, something you both couldn’t wait to explore.
the “boys night” at gojo-sonic’s swanky office was nothing short of its usual absurdity, with gojo dubbing it the “greatest tradition ever” as he practically threw around the “finest” sweet alcohol like it was candy.
toji was there, albeit begrudgingly, mostly due to gojo’s persistence (“c’mon, you’re the only one who knows how to enjoy this premium stuff!”), and suguru joined from a dimly-lit zoom window, his face half-smiling, half-tired as he sipped on a glass of his own.
“missing out, suguru,” gojo teased, tilting back his drink. “oh, but thanks for the wine, by the way. nothing says ‘wish i were there’ like sending over a box of booze from you and your business partner.”
“oh, for heaven’s sake,” suguru muttered, though his smirk suggested he didn’t mind. “it was a halloween release. figured it’d keep you all happy and…unbearable.”
toji chuckled, swirling his glass and trying not to roll his eyes as gojo feigned offense.
“unbearable? me?” gojo put a hand over his heart. “if you actually joined us in person, you’d see i’m the highlight of this ‘boys night.’ it’s practically a public service, sugu-boo. oh, and shoutout to persephone for making it possible, of course.”
“yeah, yeah, you’re a real gift to mankind,” suguru replied, his tone deadpan, but his smile lingered as he took a sip.
“so what’re you boys talking about? since i can’t be there to hear it firsthand.”
toji shifted, debating on whether or not he wanted to launch into the mess that had been swirling in his head all week. but with the alcohol settling in and gojo’s usual chatter as encouragement, it was hard to hold back. he sighed, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, looking anywhere but the screen.
“oh, just, y’know… kid stuff.”
gojo raised a brow. “kid stuff? you mean, how megumi’s practically obsessed with y/n?”
“please,” toji groaned, rubbing his temple. “that kid’s dragging her around like she’s his second parent.”
“sounds like he’s got good taste,” suguru noted with a grin, sipping his wine. “and from what you said last week, he’s already planning on keeping her around for life, huh?”
toji shot him a look through the screen, but he knew they were right. megumi was over the moon whenever you came around, from showing off every little toy he owned to making you part of bedtime stories.
it was adorable, sure, but it made this whole situation way more… intense than he’d signed up for.
“kid talks about her all the time,” toji admitted, swirling his glass again. “like, even his teachers thought she was his mom or something. and she…well, she’s good with him. she’s damn good.” he looked down, a smirk tugging at his lips. “which, believe it or not, i didn’t expect when we first met.”
“ohhh?” gojo leaned in, that smirk of his spreading as he raised a brow. “and you? what did you expect?”
toji glanced away, that hint of a smirk still there, despite himself. “don’t make me say it.”
“oh, we’re making you say it,” gojo teased, sliding another drink his way. “so, you’re saying she’s…wife material?”
suguru nearly choked on his drink, and the way he was watching toji from the screen made it clear he wasn’t missing a second of this.
toji scoffed, taking a gulp to keep from saying anything too embarrassing. “she’s… special. hell, i didn’t plan on getting attached, and yet —” he paused, chuckling almost self-consciously. “i feel like a damn teenager.”
“and here i thought you were the king of nonchalance,” suguru teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji muttered, trying to shake it off.
but the truth was, the second he was alone, he found himself thinking about you, about the way megumi’s face lit up when you were around, the way you just… fit into their little world without even trying.
it was surreal.
the damn wine probably didn’t help, either.
gojo slapped him on the back, clearly enjoying this way too much. “well, for what it’s worth,” he said, his voice surprisingly sincere, “megumi deserves someone good. and maybe you do too.”
toji rolled his eyes, but he didn’t bother denying it. if anything, he felt the tiniest glimmer of hope.
that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t screw this one up.
gojo snickered, his smirk all-knowing as he raised his glass. “i’ve got it,” he said with way too much enthusiasm, the kind he only had when he was on the brink of embarrassing the hell out of someone. “toji, you and y/n could do a joint wedding with suguru and his ‘business partner.’ i mean, if suguru grows a spine and confesses, that is.”
on the other end of the zoom call, suguru’s smirk vanished as fast as it appeared, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “not happening,” he muttered, all but glaring at the screen. “it’s… complicated.”
gojo pouted, tilting his head in mock sympathy. “oh, come on. ‘complicated’? it’s not that deep. just throw her some wine, flash that tragic backstory, and she’ll be yours in no time.”
“it’s not that simple,” suguru snapped, though his face softened as he leaned back, sighing.
“besides, we’re in… limbo, i guess. we’ve had our confessions, but there’s no label. not yet, anyway.”
“awww,” gojo teased, his voice dripping with feigned sympathy.
“look at us! a bunch of grown men, all hung up on love troubles. what happened to the days when it was just work, money, and some good old-fashioned ego trips?”
“those days are over,” toji grunted, crossing his arms as he glanced at the screen. “but you’d know a thing or two about those ‘ego trips,’ wouldn’t you?”
suguru let out a snort of laughter, finally letting himself relax a little. “and don’t forget ryomen sukuna,” he added, the name alone making everyone groan. “that bastard practically swooped in to turn our business lives upside down and make everything more… interesting. joint venture or not, the guy’s insufferable. he’s like a cat, always hissing and scratching his way to the top.”
gojo laughed, tipping his drink toward the screen. “tell me about it. it’s like everyone has a thorn in their side when it comes to love these days.”
he smirked, nudging toji. “and you, my friend, are no exception. so when’s the confession, huh? are we waiting on some fairytale moment here?”
toji rolled his eyes, swirling the last of his drink. “i’m not confessing to anyone,” he grumbled. “i’ve got megumi to think about.”
“right, right, megumi,” gojo said, drawing out the name with a grin that was anything but innocent. “and here i thought you liked y/n for yourself.”
“and here i thought you’d shut up at some point tonight,” toji shot back, but his lips betrayed him with a faint, reluctant smirk.
suguru leaned forward, his voice softer. “well, at least megumi’s happy with her around, right? maybe… it’s worth taking a chance.”
toji’s smirk faded, his expression thoughtful. “maybe.”
“see?” gojo beamed, practically giddy. “love is in the air, boys. even for the most stubborn among us.”
suguru shook his head, a smile creeping back onto his face. “well, here’s to complicated feelings and maybe, just maybe, getting them right someday.”
they all raised their glasses, clinking to their shared madness in work, love, and everything in between.
you flopped back on your bed, barely able to keep the grin off your face as you hit the facetime button for shoko. she picked up after a few rings, a cigarette lazily dangling from her fingers, eyebrows raised as she took in your expression.
“uh-oh. what’s got you looking like that?” she asked, smirking.
you let out a giddy little laugh, immediately burying your face in your hands. “shoko, i swear i’m losing it. i’m a grown woman, but i feel like a teenager. it’s embarrassing.”
“this better be good,” she drawled, putting the cigarette to her lips and leaning back, looking every bit the part of the unimpressed but totally-invested best friend.
“okay, okay,” you said, voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. “toji kissed me. twice — by accident, both times. twice, shoko!”
she let out a low whistle, blowing out a plume of smoke. “so the ‘brooding single dad’ finally made his move, huh? you know, twice starts to sound less like an accident and more like he’s got a thing for you.”
you laughed, covering your face with your hands. “oh my god, don’t say that! i can’t even handle it. and he’s just… so close all the time. it’s like every time i turn around, he’s there.”
“that sounds terrible,” she said, rolling her eyes in mock sympathy. “a tall, ridiculously hot single dad, right up in your personal space. how are you surviving?”
you groaned, flopping back dramatically. “it’s not just that! i mean, megumi’s there too, and he’s the cutest kid. he loves me, shoko, i’m actually losing my mind. i feel like i’m part of their lives, and it’s… weirdly nice?”
shoko’s smirk softened a little, her gaze warmer. “sounds like you’re finally finding something real,” she murmured, her voice thoughtful. “i mean, not just with toji, but… you know, with people. gojo insisted you needed someone to keep you on track, but honestly, it sounds like you’re just finding your own way.”
“thank you for not thinking i’m insane,” you muttered, grinning at her.
“please, i’ve been waiting for something juicy like this to pop up in your life,” she replied, flicking some ash into an ashtray with a smirk. “so tell me everything — i want the full rundown on these ‘accidental’ kisses.”
you launched into the details, recounting the flustered stammering, the way you could hardly breathe when he got that close, how you felt like you were in some kind of slow-motion rom-com. shoko didn’t bat an eye, laughing in all the right places, raising her eyebrows at the moments you whispered, and shaking her head whenever you sounded downright ridiculous.
“y’know,” she finally said as you caught your breath, “if this is what being your manager is gonna be like, i might just be here for it. international author and all,” she teased, quoting gojo.
“i’m just glad i have someone who gets it,” you admitted, voice softer. “this is all new to me… the book success, this... love life thing.”
she gave you a small, knowing smile. “well, get used to it. sounds like there’s a lot more coming your way.”
the month flew by in a series of stolen moments that made you feel like you were the protagonist in one of your own novels.
and, true to his nature, toji somehow managed to sneak in a kiss (or two, or three, but who's counting?) whenever he found you alone at the studio, away from gojo's incessant commentary, the other voice actors, and the wandering eyes of your new manager, shoko ieiri.
you still couldn’t forget that first almost subtle kiss, right outside the recording booth.
you’d just handed him his revised lines, trying to ignore the way his fingers brushed against yours as he took the pages.
“y’know, you keep handing me all these steamy lines,” he murmured, voice dropping, his mouth way too close to your ear. “someone might think you’re just giving me an excuse.”
“i-it’s for the story,” you stammered, and before you could process it, he leaned down, catching you in a quick, teasing kiss.
“mm. very convincing.” he smirked, straightening just as someone walked by.
“toji!” you hissed, glancing around like a guilty teenager.
“what? i thought it’d help with the performance.” he gave you a half-shrug, that lazy grin of his making your pulse jump. “gotta sell the romance, right?”
then there was the time in the elevator after one of his late recording sessions. you’d been babbling about something mundane, trying to fill the quiet, but he wasn’t paying attention to your words; instead, he just watched your mouth.
before you knew it, the doors slid closed, and he had you pressed against the mirrored wall, his mouth on yours, hands braced on either side of your head.
“you know,” you whispered breathlessly when you finally broke apart, “if shoko sees us, she’s gonna kill me.”
“good thing we’re alone then,” he murmured, not bothering to step back, his eyes dropping to your lips. “wouldn’t want her thinking you’re getting… distracted on the job.”
“me?” you managed, swallowing a laugh. “you’re the one who can’t keep his hands to himself!”
“maybe i’ll try harder,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your jaw in a way that felt anything but apologetic. “or maybe i won’t.”
of course, he didn’t.
the next week, you’d been huddled over a script in the empty break room, reviewing edits from gojo. you barely heard him come in before he slipped up behind you, one hand casually planted on the table as he leaned over your shoulder.
“need any help with those lines?” he asked, voice low, right against your ear.
you barely suppressed a shiver, trying to focus on the paper in your hands. “i, uh… no. no, i think i’ve got it.”
“you sure?” he murmured, lips grazing your ear this time. “because i think i could add a little… flair.”
you turned, and his face was right there, too close to pretend this was anything but what it was.
before you could tell him off, he closed the gap, kissing you slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world.
“toji,” you finally managed, pulling away, your face burning. “we are at work!”
he shrugged, utterly unbothered. “yeah, but no one’s around, are they?”
you glared, trying to look serious, but he just leaned back, smirking. “besides, i’d say that counts as research.”
“research?”
he grinned, eyes twinkling with a playful light. “gotta stay in character, right?”
every encounter was a tug-of-war between professionalism and… whatever this was. you couldn’t deny you looked forward to the thrill of these secret kisses, even though you spent half your day looking over your shoulder, waiting for shoko to round a corner and catch you in the act.
toji, on the other hand, was infuriatingly nonchalant. like he didn’t care if anyone saw — like he almost wanted to be caught. and he never missed an opportunity to remind you of that.
“so, what’ll it be?” he asked one afternoon as you tried to dodge his latest attempt in the hallway. “you gonna keep hiding from me? or are you finally gonna admit you like it?”
“i’m not hiding,” you replied, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
he laughed softly, the sound low and warm. “you’re a terrible liar.”
just then, footsteps echoed from around the corner. you froze, but toji just gave you one last teasing look and walked off, as if nothing had happened.
and maybe that was the worst part — no matter how many times he pulled you in, kissed you breathless, he could just walk away, leaving you wondering if you’d imagined it all.
toji fushiguro, love-struck fool of the century.
and he hated it.
he’d scoffed his way through plenty of rom-coms, rolling his eyes at any lovesick protagonist with that stupid, half-dazed smile, lips still parted like they’d just been kissed breathless.
he never thought he’d be one of them. yet here he was, pacing around his apartment, occasionally touching his lips like some starry-eyed teenager.
“you’re acting like a damn idiot,” he muttered to himself, brushing a hand through his hair, but even that couldn’t erase the lovesick grin creeping onto his face. he barely noticed his phone buzzing with the weekly roster of sugar mamas and daddies, all waiting for their weekly breadcrumb texts from him. hell, he even felt guilty about it now.
because compared to you? they didn’t stand a chance.
case in point: a text popped up from mona, the one who liked to send him extravagant gifts just for existing.
mona [7:40 pm]: missed u this week. dinner on friday, baby?
toji squinted at the message, thumb hovering over the keyboard, debating if he should even respond. yeah, he probably should. he sighed, cracking his knuckles before halfheartedly typing out a response.
you [7:45 pm]: kinda busy friday. rain check?
there. short and sweet.
in a past life, he would’ve at least flirted his way out of it.
but now? he couldn’t muster up anything more.
god, you’ve got it bad, he thought, half-annoyed at himself as he imagined the smirk gojo would throw his way if he ever found out about this pathetic show of loyalty.
and speaking of the devil —
“toooji!” gojo sang as he slid into the studio the next day, obnoxiously loud.
“man, you’ve been… awfully serious lately. not a single call from mona? or was it alicia? both?”
toji barely glanced up, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. “i’ve been busy. work.”
“work,” gojo echoed, eyes narrowing with a knowing gleam. “right. and what kind of work are we talking about? the kind that comes with a certain… author’s name attached?”
toji’s lip twitched, but he ignored him. he figured the less he reacted, the less ammo gojo would have.
“oh, come on!” gojo crowed, leaning over the soundboard with an irritating grin. “you really think i haven’t noticed? the lingering looks, the way you sneak off for like ten minutes every time she’s around. you’re a mess, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. “i’m not a damn kid, satoru.”
“coulda fooled me,” gojo teased. “god, you look like you’re on the verge of a love confession every time i see you two. why not just go full rom-com mode and declare it in the rain or something?”
“shut your damn mouth,” toji muttered, feeling his ears heat.
the idea had crossed his mind. he thought about it every damn time he saw you smile or catch his eye across the studio.
and it was driving him insane.
“speaking of confessions,” gojo continued, not missing a beat, “heard you’ve been turning down… basically everyone these days. sugar mamas, sugar daddies — wow, your self-control’s really kicked in.”
toji groaned, half in frustration, half in something else. it was true. he hadn’t even looked at his inbox in days.
just not interested, he’d told himself, ignoring how pathetic that sounded.
“oh, oh, oh, don’t tell me…” gojo grinned, the realization dawning on his face. “you’ve gone monogamous, haven’t you?” he snorted.
“god, you’re whipped.”
“i’ll let you live if you shut up now.”
gojo snickered, unbothered. “what? i’m just giving you some friendly advice, toji. tell her already. do the whole romantic declaration thing. maybe some roses. oh, or better yet, just kiss her the way you keep fantasizing about.”
toji rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “fantasizing, right.”
“admit it, you’re lovesick,” gojo replied with a smirk. “how’s that feel, big guy?”
just then, his phone buzzed again, and he glanced down to see a new message from larry, one of his sugar daddies.
larry: fancy a weekend trip? all expenses on me, baby ;)
toji groaned and quickly sent back a “no thanks, busy,” before slipping his phone away. he looked up to find gojo staring at him, practically vibrating with amusement.
“see? whipped!” gojo announced, loud enough for half the floor to hear.
“keep it down,” toji growled, but he couldn’t keep the ghost of a smile off his face. he knew gojo was right, even if he hated admitting it. he was done pretending it wasn’t true.
hell, he could barely go an hour without wanting to text you, wanting to see you.
“you don’t get it,” toji said, more to himself than gojo. “she’s… different.”
“oh, i bet she is,” gojo said, nodding like he understood. “now, are you gonna be an idiot and keep pouting like you’ve got something to say? or are you gonna tell her?”
toji didn’t answer, just glared at him before heading for the studio door. but he knew gojo was right.
he’d run out of excuses, out of distractions. maybe it was time he did something about this ridiculous crush.
as he walked out, he could practically hear gojo’s smirk follow him.
great.
toji could barely keep his heart from jumping out of his chest as he slipped the little origami ring into your hand, all smooth-like, muttering, “megumi made it for you.”
but even as he said it, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck, knowing damn well it was mostly his work.
he’d sat down with megumi, who, after a long day of being “helpful,” had finally agreed to show him how to fold paper into something that resembled a ring. and it hadn’t exactly been easy.
“so, kiddo,” toji had started, fidgeting with the corner of a bright blue square of paper. “think you can show me how to, uh… fold this thing into a ring? for… you know… someone.”
megumi squinted up at him, hands on his hips like a pint-sized supervisor. “for her, right?”
toji cleared his throat, looking away. “yeah. something like that.”
megumi snorted, already getting a bit too wise for his age. “you don’t even know how to fold paper, daddy?”
toji groaned. “it’s harder than it looks, alright? just show me how you do it.”
the kid just shook his head, exasperated, but started showing him each fold with careful, precise fingers. they worked through a couple attempts, most of which looked nothing like rings and ended up in the growing pile of crumpled paper on the table.
it was late, and toji couldn’t remember the last time he’d concentrated this hard on something so… simple. why the hell am i doing this? he thought, glancing at the clock.
he had work in a few hours, a whole recording schedule to plan for, and yet here he was, folding paper with his son.
“think she’ll like it?” toji asked, holding up one of the finished attempts.
megumi shrugged, but he looked oddly serious as he studied the makeshift ring. “i think she will. ‘cause it’s from you.”
something in toji’s chest squeezed at that, and he clapped a hand on megumi’s shoulder. “don’t go telling anyone about this, alright? not even your uncle gojo. especially not him.”
“why?” megumi asked, genuinely curious.
“because he’ll never let me hear the end of it,” toji muttered, trying to ignore how ridiculous he sounded even to himself.
yeah, making a paper ring at one in the morning for someone? absolutely insane, but he couldn’t shake the thrill of it, of imagining you smiling when he handed it over.
so, fast-forward to now: the ring was in your hand, your fingers slowly unfolding to reveal it. you glanced up at him, eyes soft with a mix of confusion and surprise, and damn if he didn’t feel his heart do a backflip right then and there.
“he… made this for me?” you asked, voice quiet, almost disbelieving.
“yeah,” toji replied, trying to sound casual but failing spectacularly. “thought you’d like it.”
he rubbed the back of his neck, fighting the urge to look anywhere but at you, but he couldn’t resist sneaking a glance at your reaction.
you turned the ring over in your hand, a small smile tugging at your lips. “you sure it was megumi who made this?”
his throat went dry. “uh… mostly,” he admitted, feeling that warmth creeping up his neck again. “i might’ve… helped a little.”
“a little, huh?” you teased, eyes sparkling as you slipped the ring onto your finger. “so, is this, like… an official thing now? sealing the deal or whatever?”
toji felt his mouth go dry, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through him.
he hadn’t planned on this meaning anything official — well, maybe he had, but he hadn’t exactly thought it through.
yet seeing you wearing it, even if it was just a silly piece of folded paper, felt… right.
he shrugged, trying to keep his voice steady. “just thought you deserved somethin’ nice,” he said gruffly. “even if it’s… you know, paper.”
your fingers brushed his, a soft, barely-there touch, and he swore his heart skipped a beat. “i think it’s perfect, toji. no one’s ever… done something like this for me before.”
he felt his chest tighten, the weight of everything he wanted to say pressing against his ribcage.
all those dumb, sappy things he’d been feeling lately, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about you, the way he felt like a lovesick idiot every time you smiled at him. but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it, not yet.
so instead, he settled for squeezing your hand, his thumb tracing a soft circle over your knuckles.
“good,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “’cause i don’t think i could stand it if you didn’t like it.”
you laughed softly, leaning into him, and he swore he felt the world narrow down to just the two of you, the faint rustle of the paper ring against your finger.
“guess i’ll have to keep it safe then, huh?” you murmured, looking up at him with that smile that made his heart do all kinds of dumb things.
“yeah,” he replied, voice low, unable to stop himself from leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “yeah, you do.”
toji’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when he spots you at the office, that damn paper ring dangling from your phone charm. his paper ring — okay, technically megumi’s paper ring, but still, the one he’d folded with his own hands. he’d thought you might just tuck it away in a drawer or something.
but here you were, letting it swing around proudly like some priceless gem. he’s not gonna lie — his heart just about catapults itself out of his chest.
he’s doing his best to keep his cool, but the urge to grab you right then and there, haul you over to a quiet corner, and ask you out on a real date feels stronger than ever. propose even.
god, if he wasn’t too far gone already.
“what’s that little add-on?” gojo’s smug voice cuts through the air, and you laugh, holding up your phone so the charm dangles freely. gojo squints, pretending he’s inspecting it, but there’s a glint in his eye. “who’s the secret admirer, huh? must be a serious romantic to give you something… hand-crafted.”
you shrug, grinning a little too wide. “oh, just… something someone special made for me.”
toji’s face heats up, and he tries to look busy adjusting his microphone levels.
dammit, did you have to say it like that? he catches gojo’s gaze lingering on him, eyebrows raised.
oh, he’s got an idea all right.
“hm, special someone?” gojo teases, nudging you, then pretending to look around the room as if your admirer might jump out from behind the studio wall. “wonder who that could be, huh?”
you shrug, pretending like it’s nothing, though you shoot a sly glance in toji’s direction. “maybe he’ll make a move someday. he’s pretty bold but… you know, takes his time.”
toji’s pulse hammers away like a damn drumline, and he clears his throat, trying to sound nonchalant. “yeah, maybe he’s just… tryin’ to find the right time or somethin’.”
“aww,” gojo coos, looking between you and toji with a mischievous smile. “poor guy. wonder if he knows he’s got competition. think he can handle it?”
toji rolls his eyes, shooting gojo a glare. “ain’t nobody competin’,” he says, voice low but firm. “whoever this guy is… he’s got it handled.”
you laugh softly, the sound filling the room, and you hold up the charm, letting it dangle right in front of him as if it’s some sort of challenge. “think he’s ready to seal the deal?”
toji’s gaze flickers to the paper ring, then to you, and suddenly he feels this overwhelming urge to just… go for it.
he could give you a real ring, sure, someday maybe, but there’s something about this little thing you’ve turned into a charm that makes it feel so much… bigger.
“actually…” he mutters, feeling heat crawl up his neck. “i was thinkin’… maybe i could take you out this weekend. just us.” he looks at you, eyes intent, and there’s a rare seriousness in his voice. “someplace nice. no studio, no interruptions.”
you blink, clearly a bit surprised, but your smile grows, softer now, almost shy.
“are you asking me out, toji?”
he shrugs, feigning nonchalance but failing miserably. “yeah. maybe… maybe i am.” he reaches out, tugging the charm lightly, letting it dangle between you. “figured it was about time we took this thing seriously.”
gojo bursts into laughter, clapping his hands. “ohhh, i knew it! all this sneaking around, and here you are, finally getting down on one knee — metaphorically, of course.”
you nudge gojo, laughing. “shut it, satoru.”
but toji doesn’t even hear gojo’s teasing anymore. all he sees is you, with that damn paper ring swinging from your phone, smiling at him in a way that makes his chest feel tight.
and suddenly, the idea of getting down on one knee doesn’t seem all that far-fetched after all.
“so… this weekend?” he asks, his voice a little softer now, just for you.
you nod, still beaming. “this weekend,” you confirm.
toji, scrolling through your message with a slight frown, reads your rain check about having to edit your book draft instead of going out this weekend.
he's in the middle of what can only be called a hurricane of preparation — megumi is zipping around the house, declaring he’ll help his dad look “very handsome” for his “playdate with the pretty lady.” in the midst of this, toji can’t even get a word in to explain that, uh, the plans may be changing.
princess [7:08 pm]: hey! i am SO sorry, but i may have to rain check today. i really thought i’d finish up the first draft of the dragon king’s sequel. but i got so behind, and now i have to edit this whole thing </3 you [7:09 pm]: can’t believe my competition is a bunch of words on a page, but…i get it. you [7:09 pm]: any chance you could still use some company for that “editing?”
he’s barely finished typing his message when megumi tugs at his shirt, holding up a navy button-down that practically drags on the floor.
“isn’t this the one she likes, dad? wear this!” he says with a look that might as well be called “fushiguro persuasion.” toji chuckles, ruffling megumi’s hair.
“hey, buddy,” he says, crouching down to megumi’s level. “plans changed a little. she’s gotta work, so i’m going over there instead, alright?”
megumi narrows his eyes in the way only an eight-year-old can. “so... no fancy date?”
“nah, kid,” toji says, trying to sound casual as he rolls up his sleeves. “i’m just gonna keep her company while she works.”
megumi grins, a mischievous glint in his eye. “so like, a home date?” he asks, with all the implications an eight-year-old can muster.
toji chuckles, ruffling his son’s hair. “something like that.” he gives megumi a quick fist bump. “hold down the fort for me, alright? i’ll be back before bedtime.”
and with that, he heads out, his heart pounding just a little too fast for his own liking. he’s ready to face you with a low-key offer: if you’ll allow it, he’ll stay in for a “working date” and keep you company, just the two of you, with no plans other than being there.
toji ^.^ [7:15 pm]: well, what if the mountain comes to you instead of you coming to the mountain? i’ll bring snacks and stay out of your way. i’ll even help you proofread if you need it.
your heart nearly stops when you see toji’s message, and you almost drop your phone… straight into your bowl of instant noodles.
he wants to come over? to your place?
you glance around your apartment, and it’s a scene straight out of a disaster movie.
there’s a pile of bills stacked haphazardly on the coffee table, all of which you’re waiting for shoko to graciously come sort through for you. right next to it is a mountain of pr packages you haven’t had a chance to open — typewriters from some luxury brand, fountain pens with gold-tipped nibs, notebooks wrapped in satin, and… is that your favorite set of lingerie drying on top of the lampshade?
“oh, god.”
you glance at the time and frantically calculate: how long would it take to clear at least half of this mess?
no, scratch that. how long would it take to get yourself presentable? you rush to your room, tossing things left and right in an attempt to find something clean and comfortable, feeling your face heat up just imagining toji seeing your place like this.
you [7:17 pm]: are you sure you wanna come over? i’m warning you. it’s, uh, very lived-in here. toji ^.^ [7:20 pm]: hey, i’m not gonna judge. besides, how bad can it be?
you stare at his reply, chewing on your lip, and quickly text back.
you [7:21 pm]: imagine a tornado hit a bookstore you [7:21 pm]: and a clothing store you [7:21 pm]: and, maybe a warehouse full of typewriters and fountain pens. toji ^.^ [7:23 pm]: you know what? sounds cozy. i’ll bring some snacks and maybe a cleaning crew if necessary 😂
the doorbell rings before you could even realise, and your heart nearly leaps out of your chest.
you’ve got a solid three seconds to take it all in: you’re wearing a three-day-old shirt that, if you recall correctly, was originally your dad’s from the 80s, your hair’s in a bun so messy it might as well be a bird’s nest, and there are bags of trash you’ve hastily crammed into every drawer within reach.
there’s no hiding the pile of unopened pr packages by the couch, though — one of which has a half-torn label boasting a “vintage, limited-edition typewriter experience.” right next to that, there’s a fancy pen set, still in its plastic wrap, resting on top of… is that a stack of half-eaten takeout containers?
oh, god. why couldn’t you have had a warning before he showed up?
you take a shaky breath and yank the door open, plastering a smile on your face as if this is all completely normal.
"hey," toji says, looking you up and down with an easy grin. “lookin’ cozy.”
“uh... thanks?” you blurt out, mentally slapping yourself. cozy was definitely one way to put it.
“come on in. sorry about the… ambiance. i wasn’t really expecting to have a, uh, guest.”
you step back, and he strides in, immediately taking in the organized chaos that is your apartment. his eyes linger on the tower of pr boxes and that unmistakable stack of overdue bills. he whistles low under his breath, clearly trying not to laugh.
"so, this is the writer life, huh?" he asks, picking up a typewriter package with a raised eyebrow. "fancy stuff. do you, uh… actually use any of this?”
“i try,” you mumble, crossing your arms defensively, though you can’t help smiling. “but the whole ��starving artist’ vibe means these typewriters just end up as very expensive paperweights. which, ironically, i can’t even afford.”
toji laughs, setting the box down before glancing around again. his gaze falls on the lampshade, where your black lace lingerie is very prominently draped. you feel your face go hot as he smirks.
“i like the decor,” he says, nodding toward the lingerie with a wicked grin.
“oh, my god,” you groan, covering your face. “listen, i was not expecting company today, so please, feel free to avert your eyes.”
"nah, i think it's got… character," he teases, leaning in just a little too close. “besides, i don’t mind a little mess.”
"well, great, because this is as real as it gets," you reply, huffing as you try to look anywhere but at him. "you’re in the trenches now, toji.”
he chuckles, moving to pick up a crumpled, half-empty bag of chips from the couch. "hey, trenches i can handle. i’ve got an eight-year-old at home, remember? my place is an organized war zone on a good day."
you snort, still feeling a bit mortified. “and here i was thinking i could at least fake having my life together in front of you.”
“oh, please,” he says, brushing a stray hair from your cheek. “you should’ve seen me back in college. this? this is nothing. plus,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly, “it’s kind of… cute.”
cute. did he actually just call your disaster zone cute?
before you can respond, he grabs one of the unopened PR boxes and raises an eyebrow. “so, what’s in this one? wanna have an impromptu unboxing?”
“toji, i swear if you open that —”
“c’mon,” he says, grinning as he peels the tape back. “think of it as the highlight of our first ‘official’ homebody date.”
you shake your head, both amused and exasperated, watching him fish out an overly ornate fountain pen, which he holds up like it’s the holy grail.
“look at this thing,” he says, turning it over with a smirk. “you could probably sign million-dollar deals with this alone.”
“or, you know, sign off on all my overdue bills.” you laugh, unable to stay embarrassed. “go on, add it to the pile. it’s practically a landfill at this point.”
he laughs, setting the pen down and stepping closer, his voice low. “listen, i get it. my place might not have bills stacked up, but it’s full of… reminders that i’m a work in progress too.”
you glance up at him, and suddenly, all the embarrassment melts away. you’re in your messy apartment, standing in an ancient t-shirt with this man who’s managed to turn your chaotic night into something unexpectedly comforting.
"thanks for not… judging," you say softly, feeling yourself relax for the first time since he walked in. “i know i’m not exactly put together, but —”
“hey.” he cups your face with a gentle smile. “don’t worry about it. you’re perfect like this. messy, comfy, real.”
before you can stop yourself, you lean in, and he meets you halfway, his lips brushing softly against yours. it’s not hurried, not desperate. just… perfect.
it hits you about a second too late — you’re kissing toji in the middle of your apartment, clutching a bag of trash. oh god, and it reeks of stale mountain dew and monster.
classy.
you pull back with a mortified look, though toji’s face is the exact opposite, his smirk spreading like he’s just unlocked a secret treasure.
“don’t stop now,” he murmurs, glancing down at the offending trash bag in your hand. “but, uh… maybe lose that first?”
“yeah, i think we’re past the first-date mystique at this point,” you mutter, feeling your face heat up as you chuck the bag towards the corner, praying it’s out of sight enough to ignore.
“oh, yeah, you’re really blowing my mind here,” he teases, chuckling as he takes in the apartment around you. “all the caffeine fumes, that questionable takeout smell. smells like home already.”
“oh, shut up,” you laugh, covering your face, because this man is about two seconds from making you combust. “i’m surprised you even wanted to stay for dinner after walking into this disaster.”
“well,” he says, trying and failing to look innocent, “you haven’t seen the other disaster i brought.”
you raise an eyebrow as he gestures to the counter, where multiple takeout bags are somehow all stacked up.
“toji, what is all this?” you blink, shuffling over to the spread.
“look,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “i couldn’t decide what you’d like, so i just… went with options.”
options is a gross understatement.
there’s a bag from the local thai place with an array of curries and pad see ew, another filled with boxes of sushi, and an entire tray of tacos, complete with mini bottles of hot sauce. you spot a large pizza box (of course), and is that… baklava?
“uh, toji? are we feeding a small country tonight?” you laugh, bewildered. “what were you thinking?”
“honestly? wasn’t thinking. just grabbed whatever looked good,” he says, giving you a sheepish grin. “but c’mon, if you don’t like one thing, there’s a million others.”
you give him a look, half-amused, half-exasperated, but it’s endearing in a way only toji could pull off. who even does this?
“i mean, don’t get me wrong,” you say, nudging a pizza box to make space for the taco tray, “i’m glad you thought of all the options, but… what exactly were you planning for us to do with all this?”
he shrugs, coming up beside you to open one of the sushi boxes. “eat as much as we want, throw the rest in the fridge. ‘course, that’s only if you’re not gonna make me eat it all myself.”
you snort, imagining him single-handedly tackling all of it. “if you can handle it, be my guest.”
he leans in close, voice dropping to a rough whisper. “oh, i can handle it.”
you roll your eyes, but you’re grinning like an idiot. “god, you’re impossible.”
“hey, you invited me over,” he says, opening a little container of wasabi and gesturing for you to try a piece of sushi.
“besides, i figured it’s a good way to cover all bases. what if you didn’t like tacos? or pizza? or… god forbid, baklava?”
you can’t help laughing as you pop the sushi in your mouth, appreciating the deliciously over-the-top effort he put into this. “for the record, i love all of it. but you, on the other hand, have a questionable appetite if you thought this much food for two people was necessary.”
“trust me, if this is what it takes to keep you happy, i’ll bring twice as much next time,” he says, dead serious.
“oh no, please, i don’t think i can handle that.” you give him a look, incredulous. “i’ll end up eating myself into a food coma, and then what? you gonna carry me to bed?”
“well,” he says, leaning in again with a devilish grin, “i wouldn’t mind. but i was thinkin’ more along the lines of a movie marathon to work off the calories.”
“movie marathon and food coma?” you raise an eyebrow. “toji, you’re dangerously close to making this a slumber party.”
he shrugs, his face playful but there’s something softer in his eyes. “would that be the worst thing?”
you feel a flutter in your chest, something that almost surprises you with how much it settles you. here he is, surrounded by mountains of takeout and your chaotic apartment mess, looking like this is exactly where he wants to be.
it’s… kinda nice.
“alright,” you say, nudging him with your elbow. “you win. let’s have the weirdest, most food-filled homebody date ever. just, uh, ignore the mess. and don’t laugh at me if i pass out halfway through a movie.”
“promise.” he raises a hand, eyes glinting with humor. “cross my heart.”
the two of you start to dig in, laughing as you make jokes about how this is probably the strangest spread of food you’ve ever seen. every now and then, he’ll steal a quick kiss when he thinks he can get away with it, and you’re reminded just how much this man has wormed his way under your skin.
you’ve got no idea where this is going, but, staring at his smirk as he attempts to down an entire taco in one bite, you kinda hope it’s somewhere good.
the two of you stand side by side at the sink, the remnants of your feast sprawled across the counter. you’re scrubbing a particularly stubborn pan when you decide it’s the perfect time to hand toji the aux.
“alright, mister fancy chef,” you say, smirking as you pass him your phone. “you get to choose the soundtrack for our post-dinner clean-up. no pressure.”
“oh, no pressure at all,” he deadpans, scrolling through your playlist. you catch a glimpse of the mischievous grin creeping onto his face as he lands on an old favorite.
the unmistakable intro of dancing queen by abba fills the kitchen, and your mouth drops open in disbelief.
“seriously? this? right now?” you laugh, a mix of amusement and embarrassment bubbling inside you.
“hey, don’t knock it till you try it!” he shoots back, raising his hands as if to defend his choice. “it’s a classic. plus, it takes me back to that night at the bar when you were all... well, you.”
you roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. “i was a mess.”
“yeah, but you were a cute mess.” he chuckles, and you feel the heat rise in your cheeks at the compliment.
as the upbeat tune plays on, you both start washing the dishes, swaying your hips to the rhythm.
“you can dance, you can jive…” the lyrics echo through the air, and toji’s energy pulls you in.
you catch him glancing at you with that smirk again, and the way his eyes light up makes your stomach flutter.
“just imagine,” he says, a teasing glint in his eye, “the two of us back at that bar. you, all over the place, and me just trying to figure out how to survive the night.”
you laugh, feeling nostalgic. “yeah, and then i somehow managed to puke all over your shoes.”
“my favorite shoes,” he says dramatically, rolling his eyes, but there’s a playful warmth in his tone. “but, honestly? worth it.”
the song builds, and you’re both lost in the moment, laughter and soap suds flying everywhere.
“see that girl, watch that scene…”
“how did we go from that night to this?” you ponder aloud, glancing at him. “i mean, here we are, washing dishes and dancing to abba.”
“it’s an upgrade he says, giving you a lopsided grin. “you know, from drunken disasters to… kitchen romance.”
“romance?” you raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
“oh, come on,” he says, stepping closer, the teasing slipping away from his tone. “there’s definitely something romantic about this. a pair of idiots like us, sharing this weird, beautiful mess.”
you can’t help but blush, your heart racing as you take in the way his gaze lingers on your lips. “digging the dancing queen…”
“you know, if this song gets stuck in my head, i’m blaming you,” you quip, trying to deflect the intensity of the moment.
“good luck with that,” he chuckles, moving even closer, the space between you almost nonexistent now.
“night is young and the music’s high…”
his fingers brush against yours, the innocent touch sending sparks up your arm. the beat continues, your breaths getting heavier as the song builds up to the chorus.
“dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine…”
you’re both staring at each other, and suddenly, the kitchen feels too small, too charged with the electricity of the moment.
“toji…” you start, but the words die on your lips as he leans in, his intent clear.
“just one kiss,” he murmurs, the corner of his mouth lifting in a seductive smile. “for old time’s sake.”
before you can reply, he closes the gap, his lips capturing yours with a gentle yet insistent pressure.
it’s like a scene from a movie — the soft warmth of his mouth against yours, the playful scent of the takeout wafting around you, the soft glow of the kitchen light illuminating his features.
you melt into him, heart racing as you kiss him back, losing yourself in the moment. the lyrics of the song seem to fade into the background, leaving just the two of you — the world outside disappearing entirely.
when you finally pull away, both of you breathless, there’s a glint of something deeper in his eyes.
“wow,” he breathes, still holding your gaze. “i think i like this new tradition.”
you chuckle, still buzzing from the kiss. “yeah, who knew washing dishes could be so… eventful?”
“well,” he says, leaning in closer again, voice low and teasing, “we haven’t even finished the song yet. you ready for round two?”
you’re half-dazed, your heart racing as you sit on the kitchen counter, toji’s arms caging you in, keeping you close. dancing queen continues to play in the background, but all you can focus on is the warmth radiating from him and the way his breath mingles with yours.
“you have got to stop making these kisses a regular thing,” you tease, half-heartedly trying to sound serious, but the playful glint in your eyes gives you away.
“especially when i’m propped up on my kitchen counter like this,” you add, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum, but you can’t help but smile as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer.
“liar,” he laughs, a low rumble that sends a thrill through you. “if you didn’t like it, you would have pushed me away, not this.” he gestures to your legs around him, grinning like the cat that got the cream.
you roll your eyes, but you can’t hide the warmth spreading through your cheeks. “okay, fine. maybe i’m a little into it,” you admit, and his grin widens, satisfaction dancing in his eyes.
“a little?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow, his hands tightening around your waist. “you’re a whole lot more than a little, and you know it.”
the cheeky banter flows easily between you, and as you gaze into his eyes, you realize just how much you’ve come to enjoy this — the closeness, the warmth, the undeniable chemistry crackling in the air.
“you know, it’s a bit unfair,” you say, tilting your head back slightly to meet his gaze. “here i’m trying to be responsible and not let you distract me, and yet…” you trail off, your fingers playing with the collar of his shirt.
“and yet,” he finishes, leaning in slightly, his breath warm against your skin. “here i am, being irresistible.”
“definitely not irresistible,” you say, feigning indignation. but the way your heart races gives you away again.
“oh, come on,” he smirks, tilting his head slightly. “who else do you know can kiss you while washing dishes?”
you laugh, shaking your head, and the movement sends a wave of giddiness through both of you. “you might be right about that one,” you concede, biting your lip.
the song transitions into another upbeat section, and toji shifts his weight slightly, nudging your legs apart just enough to step closer, creating a tighter cocoon of warmth between you.
“so, what now?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave, the playful tone replaced with something more serious, more intimate.
“what now?” you echo, feeling the tension shift slightly, the air thick with possibilities. “we could, um… finish washing dishes?”
“how boring,” he murmurs, and before you can say anything else, he dips his head down, capturing your lips again in a slow, lingering kiss that makes your head spin.
this kiss is different — softer, more explorative, as if he’s savoring the moment, the taste of you lingering on his lips. you respond eagerly, forgetting all about the dishes, the mess, everything else fading away until it’s just the two of you.
when you finally break apart, breathless, he grins down at you, that charming smirk making your heart flutter. “that’s what i’m talking about,” he says, a satisfied gleam in his eyes.
“toji, we really should —”
“don’t say it,” he interrupts, shaking his head with an exaggerated look of horror.
“don’t ruin the moment with responsibility. just… let’s enjoy this.”
you can’t help but laugh again, the tension between you easing as you lean back against the countertop, your heart racing in a way that feels undeniably good.
“enjoying this, huh?” you murmur, running your fingers through your hair, still feeling the heat of his body against yours.
“yeah,” he replies, that charming smile still plastered on his face. “just two people enjoying a perfectly normal evening — you know, singing abba, eating takeout, and making out in your messy kitchen.”
“the most normal thing ever,” you agree, rolling your eyes, but you can’t suppress the smile that breaks across your face.
“so,” he says, tilting his head, his expression turning slightly more serious. “how about we make this a regular thing? you know, minus the messy kitchen. maybe my place next time?”
your heart skips a beat at the suggestion, and you find yourself nodding before you can think twice. “yeah, i’d like that.”
“great,” he says, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “but for now, let’s get back to the dishes, dancing queen.”
“fine, but only if you promise to keep playing abba,” you reply, giving him a mock-serious look.
“deal,” he chuckles, and as you both start scrubbing the remaining dishes, the music playing softly in the background, you realize you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.
toji walks into his house, the dopey grin plastered across his face like he just won the lottery.
his heart feels light, still buzzing from the night with you, and he’s practically floating as he kicks off his shoes and heads to the living room.
he stops dead in his tracks when he sees gojo sprawled on the couch, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand and a look of sheer mischief on his face.
“what the hell are you doing here?” toji asks, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably as he can’t help but grin back.
gojo lifts the bottle in a mock toast. “just your friendly neighborhood babysitter, here to keep an eye on megumi,” he says, glancing over to where megumi is sound asleep, sprawled on the floor with a gaming console still clutched in his tiny hands. “figured i’d check out your bar situation while i was at it.” he gestures to the empty bottles lined up on the table. “you know, for quality control.”
toji rolls his eyes but can’t suppress the chuckle escaping his lips. “you’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he says, moving closer.
gojo leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a grin spreading across his face as he studies toji’s expression. “but seriously, you look like you just got off cloud nine. spill. what happened?”
toji’s grin widens even more, and he can’t help but let out a little giggle, feeling giddy. “you’re not gonna believe this,” he starts, plopping down on the couch next to gojo, who leans in closer, eager for the details.
“it was… well, it was amazing.”
“amazing? now you’re really making me curious!” gojo presses, his eyes sparkling with interest. “tell me everything! every little detail!”
toji glances back towards the sleeping megumi, suddenly feeling a bit shy about sharing all the intimate details. “okay, okay. so, we were just supposed to have dinner, but it turned into this whole thing.”
“dinner? boooring. give me the juicy stuff!” gojo teases, waving his hand dramatically. “i want the scandalous details! were there kisses involved?”
toji feels his cheeks flush, and he can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this all feels. “yeah, there were some kisses… and then we ended up washing dishes together, and somehow —”
“washing dishes? how romantic!” gojo interrupts, dramatically placing a hand on his chest as if he’s been mortally wounded. “you’re a true romantic, toji.”
“shut up!” toji retorts, laughing harder now. “but it was nice, okay? we were just… comfortable with each other, you know? and then we ended up kissing while the song was playing.”
“which song? was it a love song? was it dancing queen?” gojo leans in closer, eyes wide with excitement. “tell me you two were blasting abba and getting all lovey-dovey!”
“yeah, actually!” toji can’t help but laugh again, the memory flooding back. “we were. it was so ridiculous, but it felt so right at that moment.”
“ridiculous how?” gojo presses, leaning back with a smirk. “were you two dancing around the kitchen like a couple of high-schoolers?”
“pretty much,” toji admits, a sheepish grin crossing his face. “i mean, it just happened, and i couldn’t help myself. i’ve never felt like this before.”
gojo raises an eyebrow, leaning back with a knowing smirk. “so, what you’re saying is that you’re head over heels for y/n? you’ve gone soft on us, toji.”
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji says, trying to sound annoyed but failing as he can’t help but feel giddy about it all. “but i think this is different. she makes me feel… i don’t know, like i’m actually living instead of just existing?”
gojo’s expression softens slightly, nodding in understanding. “that’s deep, man. i’m genuinely happy for you. but seriously, how did you go from makeouts to dinner to feelings so fast?”
“honestly? i have no idea,” toji shrugs, still riding that high. “but it just felt natural. like we were meant to do this.”
gojo is quiet for a moment, taking a swig from the bottle.
“damn, it sounds like you really like her.”
“like? it’s more than that, i think,” toji admits, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “i’ve never let myself feel this way about anyone, and now i can’t stop smiling like an idiot.”
“good. you should let yourself feel,” gojo says, his tone lightening again.
“just don’t forget you’re still my bro and not some mushy romantic lead in a romcom.”
toji snorts. “right, because i’m so good at playing it cool.”
“exactly,” gojo grins. “now, what’s the next step in this romance novel? are you going to take her out on an official date, or are you just going to keep sneaking kisses in her kitchen?”
toji thinks for a moment, that dopey grin returning.
“i want to take her out. something special. not just a random dinner but a real date.”
“awww, look at you being all suave!” gojo teases, clapping him on the shoulder. “i’m actually proud of you, man. just don’t screw it up.”
“thanks for the vote of confidence,” toji rolls his eyes but can’t help but feel encouraged.
“now, let’s celebrate your new relationship status! i say we finish off the rest of these bottles and toast to your love life!” gojo suggests, already grabbing for another bottle.
toji chuckles, shaking his head. “you’re going to end up getting us both in trouble, you know that?”
“who cares? tonight’s all about you, my guy! let’s make some bad decisions!” gojo grins, and as toji laughs, the two of them settle in for a night of ridiculous stories and plans for the future — the dopey grin still plastered on toji’s face.
the day of the audiobook launch dawned bright and buzzing with excitement at gojo-sonic, and the atmosphere was electric. employees and investors milled about the sleek, modern venue, the air filled with chatter and the faint sound of clinking glasses.
it was a low-key affair, but the anticipation crackled like static electricity in the air. you were among the few chosen to celebrate this moment, standing on the cusp of something big.
you had spent hours getting ready, and with shoko’s help, you looked stunning in your gown. it was a flowing number that hugged your curves just right, accentuating your figure while allowing you to move with grace. your hair was styled in soft waves, framing your face perfectly, and your makeup enhanced your features without overshadowing them. you caught glimpses of yourself in the reflective surfaces, a wave of pride swelling in your chest as you realized just how much effort went into this moment.
toji, on the other hand, was a mix of nervous energy and utter admiration. dressed sharply in a tailored suit, he felt a blend of pride and anxiety as he watched you mingle with the guests. but the moment his eyes landed on you in that gown, his body betrayed him.
a rush of heat shot through him, and before he could even think, there it was — a very real, very embarrassing hard-on that he scrambled to cover up.
“shit, not now,” he muttered under his breath, cursing himself for being such a damn cliché. he quickly shifted his stance, pretending to adjust his tie as he tried to focus on anything other than the vision of you in front of him.
like a decent man should, right?
“toji! you okay?” gojo’s voice cut through his thoughts, a smirk creeping across his face. he was leaning against the bar, a glass of something strong in hand, eyeing toji with amusement. “you look like you just saw a ghost.”
“i’m fine,” toji snapped a little too quickly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. “just… adjusting my suit.” he gestured wildly, trying to deflect the attention away from his embarrassment.
“uh-huh. sure,” gojo replied, barely hiding his laughter. “just keep it together. we wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, especially her.” he nodded subtly towards you, who were now laughing with suguru, your charm radiating like a warm glow.
toji shot him a glare, a mix of irritation and amusement battling for dominance on his face. “thanks for the reminder, genius.”
the event continued, and you were seamlessly blending into the crowd, engaging in conversations with stakeholders and employees, your confidence shining through.
when you shared a laugh with suguru, toji couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at how effortlessly charming you were. why the hell can’t i just say something nice instead of standing here like an idiot?
“there she is,” toji mumbled to himself, catching a glimpse of you as you made your way to the makeshift stage for the speeches. he admired how you carried yourself with such poise, the way your eyes sparkled with excitement. and in that moment, he was utterly captivated.
as you stepped up to the microphone, a hush fell over the crowd.
“thank you all for being here today,” you began, your voice steady and clear, filled with warmth. “this launch means so much to me, and i couldn’t have done it without all the support from my friends and family. especially from those at gojo-sonic, who believed in this project.”
toji watched you intently, his heart swelling with pride. this was your moment, and you were absolutely shining.
but as you spoke, he felt that familiar urge to approach you, to wrap his arms around you and tell you just how incredible you looked.
but no, he stood rooted to the spot, reminding himself of the conversation they had before about maintaining a professional facade.
“and of course, a huge thank you to my amazing voice actor, toji fushiguro,” you continued, and the crowd erupted into applause, pulling him back into reality. the sound sent another rush of heat through him, and he felt like he was about to explode — both from embarrassment and pride.
“that’s me,” toji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. gojo was right beside him, clapping exaggeratedly with a teasing grin. “you’re gonna have to give her a proper compliment after this, you know?”
“yeah, yeah,” toji grumbled, still flustered as he tried to focus on your words instead of his growing embarrassment.
when you finished your speech, the crowd cheered, and you stepped down, a satisfied smile on your face.
you caught toji’s eye, and for a moment, the world faded away. he could see the joy radiating from you, and all his earlier doubts slipped away.
“toji!” you called out, your eyes sparkling. “what did you think?”
“you were amazing,” he said, finally finding the courage to step forward. “really. you owned that stage.”
“thank you,” you replied, your cheeks slightly flushed. “i was nervous, but it felt good to share this moment with everyone.”
as you spoke, toji’s heart raced. he leaned in closer, his voice lowering as he added, “and you looked absolutely stunning, too.”
“oh? just stunning?” you teased, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
“okay, maybe breathtaking,” he admitted, a genuine smile creeping onto his face.
“and just so you know, i had a minor… situation back there, thanks to how beautiful you looked. so, you know, just keep that in mind.”
your laughter rang out, the sound warm and inviting, making toji forget all about the earlier embarrassment. he realized that whatever the two of you had going on was something he wanted to cherish, something worth pursuing.
and as the night continued, surrounded by the buzz of celebration, toji felt a sense of hope blooming in his chest — this was just the beginning.
as the excitement of the launch continued to swirl around you, suguru approached, a wide smile lighting up his face.
“there you are! i was beginning to think i’d have to drag you out from behind that mic,” he teased, wrapping you in a warm hug.
“suguru! thanks for coming!” you beamed, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence. “it means a lot to me.”
“wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said, stepping back to take a look at you. “and wow, you look incredible. seriously, how do you pull off that look?”
gojo chimed in, practically bouncing on his heels. “it’s like she stepped out of a freaking fairytale, right? she’s basically a model now. i’m just a guy over here trying not to ruin the vibe.”
shoko smiled, her eyes soft as she observed the camaraderie. “you all did great tonight. it really was a wonderful launch.”
toji stood slightly apart from the group, hands shoved into his pockets, watching the dynamic unfold. he was proud of you and knew you deserved this moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of being on the outside. seeing you laugh and joke with suguru and gojo tugged at something deep inside him, a mix of admiration and protectiveness that made him feel a little more possessive than he expected.
“so, what’s next for you?” suguru asked, leaning in closer, his tone genuine. “another book, or are you taking a break?”
“a bit of both, actually,” you replied, glancing at toji. “i want to explore some new ideas, maybe branch out a little.”
just then, a lecherous-looking man stepped into the conversation, an air of arrogance radiating off him.
“well, if it isn’t the famed author herself,” he sneered, a condescending smirk plastered on his face. “i have to say, it’s impressive how you’ve managed to carve out such a niche for yourself.” “free-use woman, is that what they call it? quite the career choice, huh?”
the moment the words left his mouth, the atmosphere shifted. toji's heart raced, a cold wave of irritation washing over him. he could feel his jaw clenching as he shifted his weight, bracing himself for whatever would come next.
the man had no idea what he was stepping into.
gojo’s expression darkened, his casual demeanor evaporating. “who the hell do you think you are, talking to her like that?” he snapped, stepping in front of you protectively. “you’re clearly out of your depth.”
shoko frowned, her eyes narrowing at the man. “that’s incredibly disrespectful. you should apologize right now.”
suguru, leaning closer to you, was already assessing the situation, his gaze piercing. “it’s brave of you to come here and talk to her, but if you think you can just waltz in and make those kinds of comments, you’re sorely mistaken.”
toji felt a surge of possessiveness overtake him, and he stepped forward, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “listen, buddy, you don’t get to come here and treat her like she’s some sort of object. she’s worked hard for everything she has, and you’re just jealous that you’ll never get anywhere close to her level.”
the man scoffed, clearly unfazed, but the looks on the faces of gojo, shoko, and suguru sent a wave of intimidation over him. “oh, what? you’re one of her little fanboys now?” he mocked, trying to play off the tension.
“she’s not just some girl for your amusement,” toji replied, his voice low but full of intensity. “if you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve to be in the same room as her.”
you were taken aback, a mix of shock and warmth flooding your chest at toji’s fierce defense. it was a side of him you hadn’t seen in this context, and it made your heart race. you quickly interjected, trying to defuse the situation.
“it’s okay, really. i don’t mind —”
“no,” suguru cut you off gently but firmly, glancing back at you with concern. “you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of trash talk. you’re better than that, and we’re here for you.”
“yeah,” gojo added, his expression serious. “this guy doesn’t know who he’s messing with. just because you think you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.” he turned to the man, a fire burning in his blue eyes.
“i’d suggest you leave before things get ugly.”
the man’s bravado faltered, and he hesitated, clearly weighing his options.
“whatever, man,” he spat, finally backing away, a look of disdain on his face. “i didn’t want to talk to you losers anyway.”
as he walked off, toji felt a wave of relief wash over him, but it was mingled with something else — something like pride for you and his friends, who had stood up for what was right.
he turned to you, catching your eye. “you alright?”
you nodded, still processing what just happened. “yeah, thanks. i didn’t think he’d go that far.”
“he’s a fucking idiot,” toji replied, shaking his head. “you deserve better than that.”
“you all really stood up for me,” you said softly, feeling gratitude swell in your chest.
“of course we did,” shoko replied, her expression warm. “we’re your friends, and we’ll always have your back.”
toji stepped a bit closer, and for a moment, the noise of the event faded into the background. “just remember that,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “you’re not alone in this.”
and as the night continued, surrounded by friends who cared deeply for you, toji felt a sense of belonging that he hadn’t anticipated, realizing just how much he wanted to protect that warmth — protect you.
the event wrapped up smoothly, but leave it to gojo to suggest a “girls day out” to celebrate – the “girls” in question, of course, were all of you.
“come on!” gojo insisted, practically bouncing as you all filed out of the venue. “a little lunch at this fancy new place! i already reserved us a table. trust me, you’ll love it.” he flashed that signature grin, one that sparkled with both charm and mischief.
“i thought you called this a girl’s day out?” toji raised an eyebrow, looking mildly exasperated. “you’re delusional if you think i’m your girl, gojo.”
gojo only smirked, looping his arm through toji’s despite his attempts to shake him off.
“toji, honey, everyone’s my girl,” he teased. “besides, i knew you’d say yes deep down.”
“keep telling yourself that,” toji muttered, though a small smirk betrayed his amusement.
suguru shook his head, amused, as he watched their dynamic. “sometimes i think we enable him too much.”
“you definitely do,” shoko chimed in, already lighting a cigarette as you walked along. “but at least lunch on gojo’s tab makes it worth it.”
soon enough, the five of you strolled into the swanky restaurant, where the hostess greeted gojo with a wide smile. “right this way, mr. gojo,” she said, leading you all to a secluded table with an impressive view.
gojo waited until you all took your seats before he threw himself down, stretching out like he owned the place. “order whatever you want, my treat!” he announced, flashing a grin at the menu. “the foie gras here is to die for.”
“you’re ordering foie gras?” you raised an eyebrow, half-amused and half-horrified.
gojo shrugged, feigning innocence. “what? it’s delicious.” he turned to toji. “you’re in, right?”
toji gave him a dry look. “i don’t even know what that is, gojo.”
suguru snorted into his drink. “you’re so cultured, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, shoving a breadstick into his mouth with exaggerated indifference. “as long as it’s not something gojo personally cooked, i’ll eat it.”
gojo gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. “you wound me! i make a mean ramen!”
shoko raised an eyebrow at him. “instant ramen doesn’t count, gojo.”
as you skimmed the menu, suguru leaned over to point out some of the more “normal” dishes.
“i’d stick to these if i were you,” he chuckled. “unless you’re ready for gojo’s idea of exotic.”
“good call,” you replied, grinning. “i’m not trying to eat anything that still has a face.”
just then, gojo noticed a seafood platter being served at a nearby table, and his eyes lit up. “oh, look at that! who’s in for oysters? fresh from the coast, or so they say.”
toji grimaced, pushing the menu away. “you’re kidding, right? i don’t eat anything slimy.”
gojo wagged his finger at him, smirking. “toji, you’ll never know the finer things in life with an attitude like that.”
“if the finer things in life involve slimy food, count me out,” toji retorted, crossing his arms.
you couldn’t help but laugh, catching suguru’s eye. he shook his head, a faint smile on his lips.
“some things never change, huh?”
“yeah, especially gojo’s tastes,” shoko muttered, taking a sip of her drink.
as the food finally arrived, the table was soon filled with laughter and stories, everyone swapping tales about work, life, and everything in between. gojo, unsurprisingly, dominated the conversation, though he was more than happy to playfully drag each of you into his stories.
“and then, get this,” gojo laughed, his shoulders shaking. “i convinced the poor guy i was a psychic! he walked around with a ‘cursed’ amulet for a week before he realized i was just messing with him.”
“i don’t understand how anyone falls for your crap,” toji said, shaking his head, though even he was hiding a smile.
“it’s a gift,” gojo replied smugly, before winking at you. “isn’t that right?”
“oh, definitely,” you replied dryly. “a gift and a curse.”
“mostly a curse,” shoko agreed, patting gojo’s shoulder.
after a few rounds of drinks, everyone had relaxed into the easy camaraderie, passing dishes and laughing as gojo continued his dramatic retellings, complete with hand gestures and questionable impressions.
“so, toji,” gojo leaned over with a sly grin, “how’s… life?”
toji eyed him, wary. “life’s fine, gojo. what are you getting at?”
“nothing!” gojo held up his hands innocently. “just curious about your… extracurriculars.”
toji rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath as shoko smirked, clearly entertained by toji’s suffering.
suguru leaned in, murmuring to you, “you think he’ll make it through the whole lunch without snapping?”
you laughed softly. “he’s holding up pretty well, all things considered.”
as dessert rolled around, gojo ordered a massive platter of sweets “for the table,” though everyone knew he’d end up eating half of it himself.
“i swear, if you finish all those eclairs before i even get one…” toji warned, eyeing gojo.
gojo winked, already reaching for a plate. “too slow, toji! if you want something, you’ve got to seize it.”
“yeah? you wanna see me seize it?” toji reached over, snatching an éclair from gojo’s hand in one swift move.
the entire table burst out laughing, gojo’s indignant look only adding to the humor. it was one of those rare moments where everything felt right, like you were all in sync, just enjoying each other’s company.
as you leaned back in your chair, watching everyone banter, you felt a warmth settle in your chest. these were the kinds of moments you’d remember – the laughter, the shared jokes, the way each person’s personality filled the room in a way only they could.
it was a good day.
and somehow, you had gojo’s “girls day out” to thank for it.
“suguru! where are you going?” gojo called, laughing.
suguru gave a halfhearted smile. “just… need to take this.”
you watched him go, a flicker of concern starting to build when minutes passed with no sign of his return. eventually, you excused yourself, hoping everything was alright.
turning the corner, you found him leaning against the wall, head down, shoulders tense and shaking slightly. the quiet sound of his breath catching, his barely-contained sobs – it was like a punch to the chest.
suguru geto never cried.
“suguru?” you whispered, not wanting to startle him.
he looked up, his face streaked with tears, a raw, vulnerable expression you’d never seen. he quickly tried to brush it off, rubbing his eyes. “you shouldn’t… see me like this,” he muttered.
your heart clenched as you stepped closer. “hey, i’m your friend. you don’t have to hide from me.”
he looked away, swallowing hard, his voice strained. “it’s… her. she made her choice.” he took a ragged breath. “she doesn’t love me. she’s with someone else now.”
you felt your stomach twist at the pain in his voice, at the way his composure was unraveling before you. you reached out instinctively, placing a hand on his shoulder. “suguru, i’m so sorry. i know how much she meant to you.”
he let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head.
“i thought we had something real, you know? i thought… i thought she’d see me the same way.”
“you loved her,” you murmured, feeling his anguish like a weight pressing on your chest. “you gave her everything. sometimes people… they just don’t see what’s right in front of them.”
“maybe it’s me,” he choked, clenching his fists. “maybe i just wasn’t enough.”
you took his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “don’t say that. you’re more than enough. she just… didn’t see it. it doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it.”
his face crumpled, and for a moment, he was silent, holding onto you like you were an anchor keeping him from sinking.
“i feel so… empty,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.
“let it out, suguru,” you said gently, wrapping your arms around him. “you don’t have to carry this alone.”
he leaned into your embrace, taking deep, shuddering breaths as he tried to regain control. you rubbed soothing circles on his back, feeling each tremble, each heartbeat, sharing in the quiet vulnerability of the moment.
“i don’t know what i’d do without you right now,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“you don’t have to,” you replied softly. “i’m here. you’ll be okay, suguru. even if it takes time.”
as you comforted him, you didn’t notice that toji had also come looking for you. he’d been watching the hallway, glancing at his watch, wondering what was taking you so long.
a knot of worry twisted in his stomach, his mind flashing back to the earlier incident – that sleazy man at the event who had tried to approach you.
what if something happened again?
when he turned the corner, the sight he found stopped him cold.
you, hugging suguru, holding him so tightly, your hand stroking his hair as he buried his face into your shoulder.
a strange, hot flare of jealousy surged up in his chest.
his jaw clenched as he stared at you, his fingers twitching with the urge to do… something. here was suguru, wrapped up in your arms, his pain visible and raw – but still.
toji couldn’t help the spike of resentment. why did it have to be suguru you were comforting?
why couldn’t you hold onto him like that?
his fingers tightened around the edge of his jacket, his thoughts spiraling. he knew he had no right to feel this way, knew suguru was hurting – but the sight of you so intimately close, your gentle words he couldn’t quite hear, only made his jealousy deepen.
his eyes narrowed as he kept watching, trying to ignore the twinge of vulnerability he hadn’t expected. why did he care so much? he gritted his teeth.
but when you finally looked up, catching sight of him, his expression was unreadable, masked beneath a carefully controlled look. there was a subtle stiffness to the way he held himself, and his gaze flickered briefly to suguru before settling back on you.
“toji…” you said softly, surprised to see him there.
he crossed his arms, giving a slight nod in suguru’s direction. “everything alright?”
“yeah,” you replied, glancing at suguru, who gave a faint nod, still wiping at his eyes. “just… a hard day.”
toji’s eyes softened slightly as he looked at you, though his expression remained guarded. “you’re a good friend,” he murmured, barely audible, though there was a hint of something deeper behind his words.
you offered him a small smile, sensing the underlying tension. “just doing what anyone would.”
toji’s gaze lingered on you a little longer, his jealousy ebbing slightly, though a part of him still ached to be the one you held so tightly, the one you’d stayed for so long just to comfort.
but he pushed the feeling down, knowing that tonight, suguru needed you more.
suguru excused himself to rejoin the table, likely gravitating toward satoru, who knew more about his heartbreak than anyone else there. that left just you and toji standing in your little corner, tucked away from the bustling restaurant.
he was looking at you with that smirk of his, the kind that had you already feeling flustered, but determined not to give him the satisfaction. he took a casual step forward, slipping his hands into his pockets, and leaned in close, voice low and almost playful.
“so… what’re you doing over here, all alone with me?” he drawled, eyes trailing slowly from your eyes down to your lips.
before he could say anything else, you raised an eyebrow, folding your arms.
“you mean, other than watching you try to pretend you weren’t sporting a hard-on for half the event?”
the teasing grin on your lips was unmistakable, and his reaction was instant. toji’s expression flickered, a hint of surprise in his eyes, followed by an intense gleam as he chuckled under his breath. “oh, so you noticed that, huh?”
“noticed? please,” you scoffed, keeping up your confident front even as he closed the space between you with slow, measured steps. “how could i not? it was right there.”
“guess you were too busy looking at me to focus on anything else,” he replied smoothly, his voice dropping a little lower. he leaned in, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours, breath warm against your skin. “maybe i should’ve been paying more attention to you instead.”
your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t let it show.
“well, now you know better,” you murmured back, voice challenging. “maybe you should’ve acted on it then, instead of waiting until now.”
he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “oh, is that a challenge?”
“only if you can handle it,” you shot back, the thrill of the back-and-forth sparking something between you two.
his eyes darkened, and before you knew it, he had one hand on your waist, pulling you flush against him, his other hand braced against the wall by your head.
“you think i can’t handle a little challenge from you?” he murmured, his lips so close they nearly brushed yours.
you swallowed, but kept your cool. “if you could, you wouldn’t be hesitating.”
“trust me, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice low and dangerously smooth, “when i’m done with you, you won’t be the one running your mouth.”
before you could come up with a retort, his lips were on yours, firm and demanding, as if he’d been waiting all night to finally do this. you couldn’t hold back a soft gasp as he kissed you deeper, his hand sliding up to cradle your face while his other gripped your waist tightly, pressing you up against the wall.
your hands instinctively found their way to his shoulders, clutching him as he took full control of the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours with a fierceness that left your head spinning. he groaned softly as he pressed his body closer, one hand sliding up the side of your thigh, fingers grazing over the soft fabric of your dress.
“you like getting me all worked up, don’t you?” he murmured against your lips, his voice laced with that smug edge that made you shiver. “can’t get enough of teasing me, huh?”
“maybe i do,” you shot back, though your voice wavered slightly as he bit down on your lower lip, sending a spark through you. “but it’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
he chuckled darkly, his hands sliding up your sides, thumbs brushing just beneath your ribs as he pressed his hips against yours.
“yeah? what’re you gonna do about it?” he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips over the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
“you really think you’re in control here?” you asked, voice challenging even as he continued to press you into the wall. “because from where i’m standing, it looks like you’re the one who can’t resist me.”
“careful what you say,” he warned, his tone thick with restrained desire. “i’m this close to dragging you out of here and making you eat those words.”
your heart raced, and even though you were half-tempted to keep pushing him, you couldn’t deny the thrill of having him this close, his hands roaming over you, his lips brushing down your neck. you let out a breathless laugh, threading your fingers through his hair as you tugged him closer.
“then maybe you should quit talking and show me what you’ve got.”
he didn’t need any further invitation. his grip tightened on you, his mouth covering yours in a heated, almost punishing kiss that left you breathless. his hands roamed over your body with a hunger that was practically palpable, every touch igniting a new spark.
he was practically devouring you, his breath coming faster as he pressed you harder against the wall, his fingers digging into your waist as he kissed you deeply, thoroughly, like he wanted to leave his mark.
“god,” he murmured, voice husky, “you’re driving me insane.” he leaned back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze intense. “you really wanna keep pushing me, huh?”
you smirked, your own voice barely above a whisper. “maybe i just like seeing what you’ll do about it.”
on the outside, you were holding your ground. confident smirks, playful retorts, the whole act. but on the inside?
you were freaking the fuck out.
here you were, basically mimicking every female lead you’d ever written, pulling from their limitless reserve of sass and self-assuredness to somehow keep pace with toji's relentless flirting. each comeback, each smirk — it was like a mental pep talk to channel all those characters who’d never break a sweat in this situation.
but… oh god. what if things actually got hot and heavy?
you were standing there, going toe-to-toe with toji of all people, and it hit you — you were completely out of your depth here. this was not your usual flirting, the teasing banter you’d half-heartedly perfected through fictional dialogue.
this was real.
and suddenly the thought crept in like an alarm bell: you might actually have to… gn?
your eyes widened a fraction as you tried to keep your cool.
gn.
get naked, not even good night — although, maybe a good night after the get naked part, if you even made it that far without spontaneously combusting.
your mind raced, frantically scrolling through every bedroom scene you’d ever written, but realizing none of them really prepared you for this.
oh my god, you panicked inwardly, just because i write smut doesn’t mean i know what to do when i’m the one gripping the sheets!
“what, cat got your tongue?” toji’s voice interrupted your internal spiral, his smirk widening as he traced a thumb across your cheek, dipping dangerously close to your lips. “not so confident now, are ya?”
you forced a grin, cursing the tremble in your fingers as they clutched at his shirt.
“oh, please, like i’m nervous,” you shot back, mentally crossing every finger and toe that your voice didn’t waver.
inside, though, you were a swirling mess, praying he didn’t catch the slightest tremor.
fake it till you make it, right?
only problem was, the longer he looked at you, the more he seemed to see right through you.
his eyes narrowed just a little, his smirk shifting into something… softer, a touch more considerate. you wanted to think he’d be gracious, that he’d at least slow down, but no, there was something else in his gaze. maybe a flicker of understanding?
no, that was too generous.
he was toji.
and as if he could sense your hesitation, he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear.
“relax, princess,” he whispered, his tone softer, maybe even gentle. “we can go as slow as you want. besides…” his lips quirked up into a teasing grin.
“don’t think you’re getting out of this without admitting how much you’re enjoying it.”
relax? yeah, right.
your heart was doing backflips, your mind racing through every possible move you’d probably never have the courage to pull off. he had you right where he wanted you, and you couldn’t stop the blush rising to your cheeks.
oh god, you thought desperately, please don’t ask me to make the next move.
just as you were bracing yourself to somehow manage to keep up this charade of confidence, toji’s phone vibrated between you, cutting the tension with a blaring ringtone. and of all people, it had to be gojo. you glimpsed his name flashing on the screen right as toji picked up, rolling his eyes before pressing the phone to his ear.
“what, satoru?” toji sighed, clearly irritated at the interruption.
“toji! man, hurry up and get back here!” gojo’s voice screeched through the phone, loud enough for you to hear the dramatic urgency. “we’ve got a very, very depressed mr. geto here who’s having the existential crisis of the century. we need all hands on deck, and yes, that means you too. and preferably sober, mind you. no drinks this time! none.”
gojo's voice dropped, muttering something about “banging y/n later if you have to,” but you both caught it.
toji gave you a side-eye smirk, shaking his head at gojo’s predictability, before letting out a sigh.
“fine. but you owe me one, big time.” and with that, he ended the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
before you could even tease him about the abrupt change of plans, he leaned in and gave you a sharp smack! on the ass, grinning at the way you jumped.
“guess we’ll have to put this on hold, princess. duty calls.” with a wink, he took your hand, leading you back toward the table.
it was gonna be a long night.
back at the table, the scene was…well, not what you’d expected.
suguru looked rough.
he sat slumped in his chair, swirling a glass of water (gojo had made sure of it) with a far-off stare that looked like he was seeing into another dimension. gojo and shoko were positioned on either side of him, each with their own ineffective tactics.
“c’mon, sugu, it’s not the end of the world,” gojo said, nudging him with a grin that looked a bit too forced. “i mean, i never liked her anyway. you deserve way better than —”
“she was amazing,” suguru cut him off, his voice flat but tinged with emotion. “you wouldn’t understand, satoru.”
shoko sighed, patting his shoulder. “she wasn’t that amazing. she had weird fashion taste.”
“and didn’t she correct you on every little thing? constantly?” gojo added, crossing his arms with a small smirk.
suguru gave them both a look, unamused. “i liked her fashion sense. and i didn’t mind the corrections.”
toji leaned back in his seat, giving you a subtle eye roll.
this was what you’d come back for.
he sighed, then leaned forward, slapping a hand on suguru’s shoulder. “you know, sulking isn’t gonna help anything. maybe it’s time to get back out there, stop dwelling on someone who clearly didn’t value you.”
suguru let out a tired sigh, and gojo jumped in, eyes lighting up. “exactly! there are plenty of people who’d be thrilled to date the great suguru geto!” he gestured around the room as if a fan club might spontaneously form right then and there.
“you’re smart, you’re talented —”
“and single,” shoko added dryly, sipping her drink with a shrug.
suguru slumped lower, clearly unconvinced. “i don’t want to be single,” he muttered. “i wanted her.”
you winced at the defeated tone in his voice, exchanging a helpless look with toji, who looked equally unsure what else they could say to help.
gojo, though, was not one to give up. he clapped his hands, as if a brilliant idea had just struck him.
“okay! new plan,” he declared, leaning in with an almost manic enthusiasm. “you’re going to go out with us this weekend. all of us. no work, no responsibilities — just a wild time. we’ll find you a nice rebound —”
suguru glared. “no, thanks.”
shoko groaned, propping her chin on her hand. “well, i’m out of ideas. anyone else?”
you took a deep breath, deciding to give it one last shot.
“maybe…you don’t have to forget her completely, but maybe you can focus on what made you happy outside of her. like, remember what you love doing?”
suguru looked at you, as if considering the thought, but then slumped back. “it’s not the same,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “it’s just…not the same.”
gojo groaned dramatically, throwing his head back. “i swear, you’re worse than me on my worst breakup day. someone call for reinforcements because i think we’re gonna need a miracle worker for this one.”
the table fell quiet, everyone glancing at suguru, who looked as defeated as ever, and it hit you that maybe tonight, there really wasn’t a solution.
one month later, the dreaded wedding invitation arrived, dropped unceremoniously on suguru’s desk. it was embossed in gold, the bride and groom’s names announced in elegant script, and just looking at it made his chest tighten. this was her wedding — the woman he’d once thought he’d spend his life with, now celebrating a future with someone else.
gojo’s reaction was immediate, bursting out in an exaggerated laugh when he saw the invite on suguru’s desk.
“are you kidding me? she’s really inviting you? that’s low, even for her. come on, suguru, you’re not actually thinking about going, are you?”
suguru just gave a small smile, almost serene in the face of it all. “actually, i think i might.”
gojo gaped. “what?! dude, they’re practically rubbing it in your face! it’s like sending a ‘ha-ha, we’re in love, and you’re not’ postcard.”
he crossed his arms, scowling at the offending piece of cardstock. “this is the most tasteless thing i’ve ever seen.”
shoko, who was nearby, raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-curious. “maybe she didn’t mean it that way, satoru. maybe it’s her way of being considerate, keeping suguru involved as a friend.”
gojo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “oh please, you don’t invite your ex to your wedding, especially if you broke his heart. she should be thrilled he’s not cursing her name in three different languages.”
but suguru only shook his head, calm as ever. “it’s not like that, satoru. we’ve both moved on, in our own ways. i don’t hold it against her. she chose what makes her happy, and if that’s someone else…well, then i wish her the best.” he shrugged lightly. “i don’t see any point in being bitter about it.”
gojo stared at him, as if seeing an entirely different person. “you’re joking, right? this is not you. the real suguru would’ve burned that thing or at least made a snarky comment about her dress being too ‘last season.’”
suguru laughed, an easy, relaxed sound that caught them all by surprise. “that’s exactly it, satoru. i don’t want to be that guy anymore. i’ve spent enough time with those feelings. they’re…exhausting. if going to this wedding gives me closure, then why not?”
gojo looked like he was about to combust. “closure? closure is just a fancy word for ‘let me put myself through hell for no reason.’ honestly, suguru, you’re giving her too much credit. she’s the one who ditched you, remember?”
suguru tilted his head, offering gojo a gentle but pointed look. “maybe it’s not about her anymore. maybe this is just about me.” his voice was calm, but there was a certain finality in it, as if he’d already come to terms with everything.
gojo, meanwhile, huffed and crossed his arms, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “well, i think it’s ridiculous. she doesn’t deserve any more of your attention.”
suguru sighed, but there was a faint smile on his lips, as if gojo’s dramatics were somehow endearing.
“satoru, not everything is a personal insult. people make choices. sometimes they’re not the ones we wanted, but that doesn’t make them wrong.”
gojo let out a long, exaggerated groan. “you’re way too good for this world, suguru. like, way too mature. no one deserves you. i’d be sending her a glitter bomb or something, just for the hell of it.”
shoko chuckled, patting gojo on the back. “maybe you should take a lesson from suguru. not everyone has to nurse their ego through every breakup.”
gojo snorted, still glaring at the invitation like it had personally offended him. “fine, go ahead and be the bigger person, suguru. but if you even think about bringing me as your plus-one, i’m causing a scene.”
he folded his arms defiantly. “i’m talking upstaging the bride type of scene.”
suguru’s smile widened, genuine and peaceful. “noted, satoru. but i think i’ll be alright.”
and in that moment, watching suguru handle what should have been a painful reminder with quiet dignity, even gojo’s bluster faded just a bit. sure, he might think suguru was handling it all wrong, but deep down, he couldn’t help but admire his friend’s strength.
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#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x female reader#jjk x fem!reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x female reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#fushiguro toji x you#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro x you#fushiguro x y/n#fushiguro x reader
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Laurel shook her head before smiling at his question. "Are you disappointed the kiss wasn't my favorite part? Maybe I just need a reminder," she teased. Although, she quickly corrected the confusion. "Sorry, I did mean the Halloween dance being my favorite part of the night though. That time at the Saddle, the kiss took the prize that night." Her head tilted curiously when he spoke of his siblings, she remembered him sharing about his move to Texas. Laurel just wondered why leaving became the choice if it wasn't top of the list. "I get it. It must've been a difficult decision to leave. Would you move back, after school?" She nodded in confirmation, her smile remaining as they talked of her dad. "Yep. I mean, not near campus, but he lives in Austin. I get to see him some weekends, or if he's near campus, we grab lunch." Laurel's happiness couldn't be contained, even now that he mentioned stopping by the diner. "Wait, really? Not because of the special, but just so you can say hi. If you wanted." Her eyes were practically shining with anticipation, the thought of bribing him started as a joke, but now she was eager to put it in practice. "Wow, so free rein in the bribery space. I'll begin thinking of bribing options." A moment was spent trying to decipher if he was serious, and she leaned yes. "Good to know, because now I know I definitely won't keep them to myself."
His head tilt was enough to have her quickly provide more context to her words. He seemed genuinely lost, as if not liking each other wasn't an option. "No no, I didn't mean because of you." She was almost certain there was nothing he could say that would deter her. "I just meant like...you deem I'm too much after you get to know me. Hey, I have confidence in this. Just a smidge of realism." Getting her hopes up would be devastating, but she couldn't bring herself to fall into that rabbit hole. Instead, focusing on his dramatic gestures. Laurel grimaced for a second, wooed with food. "I'll need to learn how to cook more than a grilled cheese." She hoped he meant the different food places she could take him to. If cooking was in question, she had just been given a map to his heart that she couldn't use. Unless she took up cooking classes. Yep, that could be an option. Laurel couldn't help the burst of laughter while he fluttered his eyes. Was it wrong to say that it was hot and incredibly charming? How was she not supposed to fall? "Yup, those eyes. Hm," feigning to be thinking about whether he took the title or not. "Yes, definitely the prettiest I've seen."
"I can never contain my questions, as you've seen, so you won't need to worry about that. I'll ask each time." Her curiosity won each time, and even the awkward questions didn't keep her. His answer surprised her, evidenced by the amused grin that followed. "Really? The way you were dancing, I would've thought it was a main hobby." Being led in the dance floor was definitely a new one for her. "Suitable might be a stretch, but any time you need a dance partner, I'll happily sign up. Why's it boring? There's boring books, sure, but don't know about the whole activity." Not really her cup of tea, too much silence. "I knew you were full of surprises, skiing is an interesting one. Have you been recently? I mean, I know Texas is not really the spot for it." At the question of her own hobbies, Laurel's thoughts ran trying to think of something. Only distracted by his follow-up question, which made her laugh once more, covering her face momentarily. "It's working then? I knew that how-to guide would come in handy," she joked, gaze peeking through her fingertips covering her face, before her hands dropped back on the counter. "But nope, not on my hobby list. That'd mean flirting everywhere, and that's more of a one-person thing for me. I'm trying to find new things to be honest. I did cheerleading way back when, some tennis and that was fun. Lately, books are also making my list." Because of school, but still. "I really like stargazing, not super great at it, but it's nice. The good kind of silence."
"That was your favorite part?" he asked incredulously. "Here I figured the kiss would have made an impression." Eli teased half heartedly. "That makes sense but also I understand. If I could have stayed with my foster siblings I would have. Leaving them wasn't my first choice." But it was the only decision he had to make in order to keep their family from having to take on one more mouth to feed. "I'm assuming your dad lives here?" The manner in which her features lit up told him she was more than excited to see them. "When they come visit you come to the diner. I can swing a two for one special."
He shook his head making a show of it and grinned. "Nope. Not at all. The bigger the bribery the better." Now he was curious as to what she'd have up her sleeve though he kept that part quiet. "You don't have to keep your hands and feet to yourself."
"Why wouldn't we like each other after?" His head tilted like that of a lost puppy. "You have no confidence in this. I'm hurt." he feigned hurt as he dramatically placed his hand over his forehead. "I do like to be wooed. Food is pretty much one of the best ways to get to my heart. See, now you've learned a new fact." In an attempt to make her laugh he stared right at her and fluttered his eyes. "These eyes? You think are pretty?"
"Ask whatever you want. I'd rather be asked than be figured out like 'm a zoo animal." He let out a husky little laugh and nodded. "Consider me a very interested pupil then."
He took an open seat across the counter as he played with the water bottle and set it down. Answering Laurel's question from before had him half grin. "I wouldn't say dancing is a hobby. I do like it but I just don't do it as often. Never had a suitable partner to dance with until Halloween night." He thought to what he liked to do and hummed. "The boring answer is read." At least to others it'd seem boring. "Exciting answer is that I like to ski. One year our family took a trip to Aspen where I saw snow for the first time, I'd seen it before but not like that. I had seen my dad get on a board and swoosh down and thought that was the coolest thing ever. I liked it. What about you? Hobbies include having a strong flirting game?"
#menace on the loose!!!#rosebud being a copy of dad is the cutest!! something laurel wasn't ready for in the least!#isa is very satisfied with himself right now!!
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🚨🚨🚨(WARNING: THIS TWEET CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE LEAKS OF HAZBIN HOTEL SEASON 2, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM I ASK YOU DON'T WATCH IT, THANK YOU)🚨🚨🚨
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Hi guys Vick Racker here, I just came to share some thoughts and theories about the Hazbin Hotel leaks just to chat and exchange ideas with you,however I've been thinking 2 things about this:
1-What would Alastor's powers be like if he had never met Rosie?
2- His relationship with Vox is more complicated and sad along with this fact.
Well, let's begin!
1
Independent Alastor:
As those who saw them know, Alastor gave his soul to Rosie in exchange for power to protect himself from the demons of hell,giving him the powers we know in the voodoo magic series, as well as in the story that Minzy tells, he overthrew the ancient overlords of hell and is known by everyone as "The Radio Demon". However, I've been thinking to myself what Alastor's powers would be if he had never met Rosie and sold his soul to her?
(rant: VALUE YOURSELF MAN, DON'T LET THIS WOMAN MAKE YOU HER SLAVE, EVEN WITHOUT THESE POWERS YOU ARE STILL THE FUCKING AWESOME RADIO DEMON!!!)
taking a deep breath 😤😩
As revealed to us in Alastor's life before his death, he was a charismatic, charming, handsome radio broadcaster (I loved his human form, I won't forgive Vivienne Medrano with his demonic design that doesn't even come close to being as perfect), but he also practiced voodoo trying to access the other side, practicing rituals and having that radio to try to communicate, in addition to the fact that he was a cannibalistic serial killer.
Putting this information together, I believe that his powers would have voodoo traits, but not in such a blatant way (I think this is on Rosie's part) he would be more inclined to the voodoo practitioner than I don't know his demonic form with seams that looks like a voodoo doll that someone else could do whatever they want with him, anyway what I'm saying is, his powers would be very different because they are HIS and not GIVEN FROM SOMEONE, they would have their own traits, but his main powers would be radio, a little more evident, not only in his voice or the bugs he makes when someone tries to record him or watches him on TV in the Vox case, but mainly his power of radio waves that could be more powerful and with his charm attracting people (a little similar to Vox and his televisions but different), cheering people up, convincing them or even transporting energy what radio waves do in real life, which in my theory about the end of Hazbin Hotel he could use this power to transfer a battle song sung by him, by Charlie and all the hotel staff, making the demons stronger for the imminent war between heaven and hell, since it is a musical and is one of the main points of the radio playing music.
Even though it does not have the same impact as him with the powers GIVEN BY ROSIE, he could indeed protect himself and become an overlord and continue with his sadistic fun. (the guy doubts himself a lot) In addition to having powers like a deer, the horns, the senses, the jumps that deer make, etc.
His appearance would also change, I think he has his hair cut like that and the costume like that to be more presentable for the cannibal city, otherwise he would have his curly hair with the red that represents the blood from his head after he was shot in the forehead, his costume would have more characteristics of his New Orleans radio broadcaster costume,also keeping the mustache and wearing the glasses he wore in life. I think the monocle is more from Rosie's time than his time in the 1930s.
2
More Complicated and Sad 📻💔📺
Now going back to the friendship between Alastor and Vox, along with this information it could be the saddest and most complicated friendship in this series, since Alastor made that deal to protect himself from the demons of hell that are more powerful than him.
(I could even make an analogy to powerful white men who could do whatever they want and he would have no chance of competing for being a black man, and to make matters worse he appealed to Rosie, a white woman, to have her powers and survive in the face of those predators and he would be a "deer" a prey).
Counting all the suffering he went through with Rosie and taking away Minzy who they knew in life and also taking away the people at the Hotel, Vox would then be the only demon in all of hell that Alastor really trusted and allowed himself to be his friend to the point of taking a picture of him without those bugs, seeing that this photo was taken from a camera from the 50s or 60s, since Vox probably died in the 50s, because at that time TV gained strength to become what it is today, that is, they were very close, in the episodes of season 1 there are several scenes of them that parallel each other, indicating even more the closeness of both.
But unfortunately, this trust of years was broken by their fight that I theorize was not only because of Valentino and the alliance between them, but also because he changed both in appearance and personality, becoming blinded by power ( Power that Alastor also longed for,but we both know how is ending),success and fame, and this affected Alastor because he no longer recognized him as if that old friend was slowly disappearing, thus refusing to join the Vees and this friendship ended as it did and the two became enemies of each other.
The phrase that Vox always says:
"trust us"
never made so much sense. 😢💔
#radiostatic#alastor x vox#hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel rosie#staticradio#voxal
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MOCHI MOCHI, but it was a bit darker and REDRAWN!!
Hello everyone! I was in a creative mood, and redrew the VERY FIRST art I made on my blog which kindaaaa blew up. (You can see that post here.)
The info is still regularly the same, with the main character not existing, and the Paldea trio are being sent to Kitakami.
Nemona never found her rival, and upon being possessed, she goes from attentive and intuitive and loving battles to sluggish and stubborn, and will continue battling others even if they have no Pokemon left. And since Kieran, Carmine, and Geeta have to work to defeat her, she found her match.
Penny was never allowed to see their friends after Team Star still got expelled. Upon meeting Pechakeen, they go from prissy and timid to friendly and sociable, though that kindness is all just an act, and the chance they get, anyone they deem as a "bad guy" they'll ruthlessly bully and humiliate them. Since Carmine had drove Penny and the others off, Penny found the bully they could stand up to.
Arven still never was told about the incident in Area Zero, and with his Mabosstiff dying and his parents never around, Arven felt alone, left to deal with his negative self confidence. Upon meeting Pechakeen, he went from brash and unapproachable to apathetic and dramatic along with Sada's temper and Turo's emotional coldness. While the real Arven is still trapped in a false reality in his mind, this version of him never questions a thing, putting on this wimpy act until someone does something he doesn't like, and the temper comes flaring.
PLEASE!!! ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY AU!! Whether it be story changes, Paldea trio, whatever!!!
Mochi Desires AU is also getting a BIT of a rewrite so feel free to ask about that too!
#mochi desires au#mochi mayhem#pokemon#arven#nemona#penny#pokemon violet#paldea trio#pokemon arven#pokemon penny#pokemon nemona#pokemon teal mask#pokemon indigo disk#professor turo#professor sada#pokemon scarlet#pokemon fanart#au#alternate universe#artists on tumblr#chairwoman geeta#pokemon kieran#pokemon carmine#okidogi#munkidori#fezandipiti#pechakeen#pecharunt#dokutaro#pokemon dokutaro
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Every You, Every Me
Story 3
A mechanic! Not my Last Twilight trauma
Actually, now that he's stood up and I see this black tshirt and coveralls taken halfway down, his look is more Payu than Mhok
HE'S COMING TO ME
Okay listen, who put these mismatched hair extensions on this boy I just wanna talk 🔪
FIAT!!! I missed him
I continue to recognize but not be able to place most of the background music in this show, it's driving me nuts
What's with all these March 19s... no way
Are you telling me he's been stalking this kid at the graveyard for years on his mother's death anniversary? And he asked the mom’s dead spirit to bless their union before he even talked to him?? You a weirdo for this, X
He's never even talked to him all these years but he says he likes him. Love at first sight, I guess. "His mismatched hair extensions have bewitched me body and soul"
Btw why has this kid Namping had the exact same haircut for so many years, seems unlikely
I have no theory on the significance of their family members changing universe to universe but I am noting it
Does the little brother get a side romance in this one? They have two whole eps this time they're getting ambitious
This Bad Buddy style phone flirting across the balcony/window is very good
There's a real ominous vibe happening here, something is def going on that we don't know about
Well, that sure was a wholly unnecessary full body lift 😏
I think I would have preferred they use the time to go deeper on the main pair in this story rather than squeeze in a side couple, but this is a Thai BL, so
Something very charming about X getting excited and hitting his head on the undercarriage of the car
The extensions look better in this almost kiss scene god bless (btw that was mean, Namping)
The chemistry!! When they let them flirt these two are excellent
Hmmm Namping is P' here, but he def wasn't older in the last story, what does it meeeeeeean
"Stop asking" boy what are you hiding
Sexiest back hug of all time in BL?? Perhaps
Man, what the hell happened to Namping? Crying during sex and then disappearing on X and sobbing as he leaves. Why can't he tell X what's going on?? (and also me, please tell me). This all feels really needlessly cruel and I am struggling to imagine a scenario that would excuse it.
Welp! Ton showing up after a time skip alone, wearing all black, carrying a box sure doesn't bode well
The way they are dragging this secret out has officially become irritating. Just say what the fuck is going on.
Well, at least Namping knows he's a coward. Ffs. I cannot imagine how he justified leaving X in such an abrupt way, telling him nothing, leaving him waiting, knowing he will never come back. A terminal illness is not a good excuse for what he did to him, especially because his supposed reason was not wanting to be selfish. But his choices here were far more selfish and cruel than telling the truth and staying to be happy while he could.
This show is not really what I expected based on the way people talk about it. It's not all that light, for one. I've heard it described as being a fun speed run of fanfic tropes, but it's pretty dramatic (in the sense of dealing with heavier themes), and this last story at least was very melodramatic. It's the kind of maudlin terminal illness plot line you'd see in a decades-old drama. I guess that's the idea? We're just running through classic tropes, including some that have been all but retired. I still don't know if or how these different universes are meant to connect, or what to make of these characters. Should I view each iteration as separate from the ones before, or am I meant to think of these as the same souls repeating lives? It's interesting for sure.
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Writing Prompt: Requesting a Murder
(I'm trying to start a thing here, let me know if you'd want more of these!)
The main story of the game has ended. You've successfully reached the best ending for your chosen LI (you decide what best means). But alas, not all is sunshine and rainbows. Something has happened, something that causes you to approach your lover with obvious distress/upset/anger (you can decide what's happened or keep it ambiguous). You say only one thing, "Can you kill someone for me?" How do they react and respond?
I'll start:
Vere takes me in, eyes wide, hand still frozen in the middle of turning a page in his novel. My tears are clearly from anger, the set of my jaw is furious, and I'm shaking from the adrenaline flooding my system.
There is not a question in his mind of how serious this must be, if I'm willing to request such a thing from him with zero hesitation. After centuries of being at the Senobium's beck and call, killing and eating their enemies as a matter of course, knowing that refusal would be not only futile, but painful, Vere is understandably reluctant to kill anyone just because someone's asking him to.
He tried to joke about it at first, after I finally managed to break his collar, that from now on the only person who got to demand that he kill was me. I could tell he was actually serious, just as easily as I could tell that he'd later regret giving me that kind of power over him just because he felt grateful in the moment. It would be an invisible collar, though just as real, and even more restricting for the fact that he willing put it on himself. I was very clear immediately that no, not even I got to demand anything from him. If I wanted someone dead, I'd ask. It was the first time I got a genuine laugh out of him. A sound born of relief, appreciation, and the absurdity of thinking I would ever actually want anyone dead.
Vere shuts his book with a snap and approaches my trembling form. A deep breath tells him everything he needs to know about the situation. I watch his eyes go solid pink as he snarls. He lets his claws sharpen, and his fangs elongate. Once, this partial transformation would have terrified me. Now, it is only a comfort, to know that he is hunting for me, to know that he cares enough to want to.
"It seems I haven't made it clear enough what happens to those who mess with my family. Don't worry love, I'll correct that mistake promptly. Do you want to come watch?"
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A Weekend In Paradise (Summer of Sin Bonus Chapter)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: A couples' weekend vacation with Y/N, her fake boyfriend, her mom, and her real boyfriend, who also happens to be her mom's boyfriend... What could possibly be more relaxing? Category: MATURE (18+) Content: Strong language, cheating, female masturbation, kinda non-con (previously mentioned masturbation is happening while an unaware party is asleep in the same bed), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, omorashi/piss kink, daddy kink, "little girl" nickname, car sex, grinding, brief handjob, praise, biting/marking. (This one is pure fucking filth, y'all, buckle UP LMAO) Word Count: 7k
MAIN MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST
NOTE: I know summer is literally over and we're all in autumn mode, but better late than never, right? ANYWAY, it's been an absolute pleasure re-reading this series and finishing it out with more shenanigans. These two and their messy asses are always so much fun to write, and I think about them all the time. In the timeline, this chapter takes place between parts 2 and 3 of “Your Favorite” if you want to put it in sequence with the other parts :) Have fun, and thank you for being patient with me. I hope this was worth the wait!
**********
FRIDAY
The only thing warmer than the blazing sun above me, the only thing that could burn me to the greatest extent until I was nothing but a pile of ash, is the way Spencer is staring at me right now.
Mom is reading a book quietly, laying her legs over his lap as they lounge on the loveseat, and Andrew is with me on the patio, rubbing sunscreen on my limbs. Even though we're far enough apart so no one can hear any conversation from the other party, the unspoken jealousy radiating from both Spencer and I is loud enough to drown out an entire concert venue.
Maybe it's cruel, and I'll probably catch shit for it later, but I can't stop smiling. It's easy for me to imagine that it's his hands gliding over my skin while I'm staring directly at him, and he's returning said stare with so much intensity that it might as well be magically willing my bathing suit to come off. Andrew's deft fingers tease the thin string at the edge of my hip and I laugh, playfully reaching back to swat at his hand.
"They're right inside, you know..."
He gets up to look, but still feeling Spencer's red-hot gaze, I quickly turn Andrew around and kiss him deeply, cradling his face in my hands and pressing into him with a laugh.
He pulls away just enough to speak. "Well, then let's go somewhere they aren't..."
"Mmm... Might be too obvious. He's smart, he'll know something's up if we're quick to run off."
"If you're quick to run off, you mean..."
I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I'm just an innocent bystander..." Andrew leans in and pecks my mouth sweetly, his voice just as gentle when he speaks. "Your only goal this weekend is to taunt him, and he knows it." Another peck. "If you run off with me this easily, you figure he'll be onto our little scheme." And another. "But if you play it right and act all inconvenienced by my... urgency..." Another kiss, this one a bit longer and definitely more sensual. "He might just feel bad enough to make it up to you later."
"You think?"
"I don't actually know. Probably." He reaches for my hands and helps me off the lounge swing, and I feel wobbly. "But what I do know is that you think too much. That man wants you so bad, he's going to find a way to spend time alone with you this weekend, whether we're making out in front of him or not. Just... Loosen up. Have a little fun."
The two of us are attached at the hip as we sneak out of eyesight from the patio screen door, and from Mom and Spencer.
"Loosen up? Do you realize how serious this situation is, Andy? One wrong move and my life is over."
"Look. I'm not judging you, and it's none of my business. But you put yourself in this situation on your own. And I'm happy to help you out, but you have to trust me. Can you do that?"
He's not wrong. I could stop this at any point, and I could've from the start if I wanted to... But I don't want to, and that's just it. I've dug the hole, and if it means getting to spend time alone with Spencer for even the smallest amount of time, I'd gladly lay down and die in it.
So. 'Loosen up and have a little fun' it is.
I take a deep breath and smile up at Andrew, patting him on the shoulder. "Yes. I can do that."
———
"I can't do it."
"Mmmmm, you and I both know that isn't true. You've come much faster under more stressful circumstances. Should be easy for you."
He's not wrong, yet I can't help but frown at Spencer's request anyway. I've been in a shitty mood all day, despite my discussion with Andrew earlier on. It's nearing nightfall, and with hardly any attention from the person I wanted it from, to say I'm now desperate is a severe understatement. There's still some time left until the two of us can properly sneak away, but even so, we have a moment alone and all he wants is to watch me get myself off in the bathroom upstairs while Mom and Andrew set the table out on the porch for a small, late dinner.
"Yeah, but you usually help me with that..."
Spencer only grins at my whining, tilting his head as he stands at the sink with his arms crossed, watching my hand at work. "If you're going to flaunt your boyfriend at me all weekend, then you're going to deal with the consequences."
"You're fucking my mom, Spencer, and you flaunt it at me every fucking day of my life... Cut me some slack."
"Aw. You're grumpy."
"Fuck you."
"You wish, don't you?"
I huff and get up off the edge of the bathtub, flipping my skirt back down and shaking my head. "You know what, forget it. If you wanna be difficult, then you can suck my dick."
"I'm not giving you what you want until I watch you come."
"Whatever."
I breeze past him and shut the door, hoping he'll follow and pull me into a bedroom and just fuck me anyway, but deep down I know he won't. He's a man of his word. It's simultaneously the best and worst thing about him.
The rest of the evening passes by slowly, which only sours my mood even more every time I look at my phone and realize that only a few minutes have passed.
I'd thought at least maybe Spencer would ease up and take the role of "Eve's Loving and Devoted Boyfriend" to the bare minimum, however that's promptly not the case. I don't know if he's doing it to piss me off and get me to cave, or if he's just over my bullshit and being his genuine, caring self to the woman he's in a relationship with... Either way, I practically feel my insides boiling over and my face burning red. I'm jealous, I'm grumpy as he so eloquently put it, and I'm so sexually frustrated that I'm seriously considering just running off to my bedroom and pulling out a vibrator, Spencer be damned. Fuck his rules, fuck his 'consequences', and fuck this whole damned weekend straight to hell.
My eyes wander to the lounge swing where Spencer and Mom are almost falling asleep, her head resting on his shoulder, and an inordinately evil image etches itself into my brain. Evil might sound harsh, but it's truly the only accurate word I could use to describe the feeling as it runs its course through my bloodstream. And when the breeze picks up and cools me off, within a mere second I realize just how insane I'd be for even entertaining it.
Even as our two groups say our goodbyes for the night, and I recount the day's failure to Andrew just before he falls asleep, I'm still going back and forth.
Loosen up. Have a little fun.
The situation at hand is decidedly not fun.
That being said, the possible look on Spencer's face after I'd do what I'm thinking? Taking his rules and throwing them in his face? That sounds fun.
My mind is already made up by the time I reach their door, gently pushing it open and letting my eyes adjust to the darkness, which isn't terribly bad to start with. There is a giant open floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the beach, and subsequently the moonlight reflects off the water and into the bedroom. It's still dark, but not enough to where I can't see where I'm going.
Each soft step I take sends my heart rate higher and higher until I reach my destination at Spencer's side of the bed. Call it what you want, but I figure it's damn lucky that he's facing towards the room and not towards my mom, otherwise waking him up would have been a much more difficult feat.
I brush strands of hair away from his forehead and then tap him gently on the nose. I almost think it won't work, but then he shakes his head and flutters open his eyes, and that's when my heart leaps straight out of my chest.
This just became real.
There's no going back now.
He's shocked to see me standing above him, obviously, and before he can say or do anything, I put a finger to his mouth and imitate a shh with my own.
I wait for his eyesight to adjust and for him to realize what my intentions are, and right before it happens, my finger lifts from his mouth and rests on his bare chest as I balance myself, lifting my right leg to the pillow, right next to his head.
There's a deep, concerned warning in his eyes, but it dissolves the second he glances down to see that under my thin silk nightdress there's no tangible barrier between himself and my slick cunt. Even if the darkness prevents him from getting the best look, it's not a secret what I'm doing. My right hand drapes down as I start to touch myself gently, and fortunately it doesn't take long to start feeling that familiar sharp ache of desire pulsing through my lower half. Spencer's wide eyes and heavy breathing tacked on to the sheer danger I'm putting myself in to do this have made me wet in an instant.
I force myself not to think about the sleeping woman next to him and instead keep my eyes locked with his. It feels almost like a dream, like if I get distracted and lose his gaze then I will be doomed to lose it for good, and no matter how hard I try to remember it when I wake, it will be nothing but a distant feeling. The stakes right now have quite literally never been higher.
Now, there are a lot of things I'm not proud of. Helping my mom's boyfriend cheat on her is probably the biggest offender for obvious reasons. But as I've learned, sometimes those things end up being totally worth it.
Faking an orgasm also happens to be one of those things.
It's risky, I know. Spencer is the smartest person I know. It's not a stretch to believe that he could call my bluff. I also happen to be unfortunately seasoned in the art of faking orgasms (thankfully due to my time seeing men before sleeping with Spencer). The determination I have to get him to fuck me before this first night of our vacation is over is the cherry on top of my evil scheme.
So, I rock my hips into my hand, lock eyes with Spencer, and fake the fuck out of it. And thankfully, faking being quiet in this particular situation is ten times easier than faking being loud. It's a fool-proof plan.
I barely 'finish' before Spencer grabs my wrist and softly sits up in the bed. It's hard to tell what he's thinking, because his face doesn't even twitch. It almost looks like he's angry, but I have a hard time believing he would be. It could also be the concoction of desperation and anxiety coursing through my nervous system making me make that up. Either way, I know I'm going to find out very soon.
Spencer gets out of bed quietly, dragging me behind him. He shuts the bedroom door with barely any sound, and it's impressive considering he'd just woken up a few minutes ago. I suppose though, a man on a mission is a man on a mission no matter how drowsy; The moment we're down the stairs and out the back door to the porch, he's backing me up to the table where we'd eaten dinner, my legs nearly buckling before he lifts me up and sets me down on top of it.
"You're insane," he whispers, closing the gap between us just a millisecond after.
I welcome his kiss and melt into him, snaking my arms over his shoulders and wrapping my legs around his waist. He tilts his head hungrily, deepening the kiss, and I can't help but groan at the inclusion of his tongue.
"Insanely irresistible," I finally counter back when we part for air.
He kisses me again, quickly, adding, "Insanely bratty," and then he reaches down to touch the heat between my legs. I've gone long enough without it that I involuntarily drop my head back with a sigh of relief at his touch, breathing out, "Fuck, I need you..."
I half-expected him to keep bantering with me, but instead he leans forward and latches onto my neck, surely leaving hickeys behind as his fingers work inside me. It feels good, but it's not enough. I need more.
More...
I hadn't even realized I'd been breathlessly chanting the word into the air until Spencer groans and removes himself from me to pull his lounge pants down far enough to free his erection and slide into me with ease. He swallows my moan with his mouth, holding himself inside me and kissing me so deeply I can barely breathe. The cool night air sends a blanket of chills over my limbs, and for a moment in time, it's just me, him, and the ocean crashing beside us.
It's almost like we become a part of it, wave after wave of pleasure and relief passing through us with each harsh crash of water over sand. Skin against skin, tongue over lip and tooth.
We could have been out there for hours, and I wouldn't have known any different. All I know for sure is that it's me and Spencer. Just as it should be.
Even after we both reach our end, we remain still in our embrace, my limbs weak but still wrapped around him. Safe. He strokes the back of my head and kisses me lazily, drawing out every last ounce of happiness from my body and soul until he pulls away finally and I remember where we are. The situation at hand. How horrible I feel at what I'd just done in front of my sleeping mother.
God, you are so fucked up...
"You're right. I'm insane."
Spencer tenses at my words, then sighs. "I'm not any better."
"I don't know how I'm going to get through this," I confess. "I wish it was just me and you. I wish it didn't have to be this way."
"I know, Y/N..."
He doesn't say anything after that, and I don't either. Part of me wants him to reassure me that everything will be okay, but the rational part of me knows deep down that I don't deserve it. Also that it probably wouldn't even work anyway.
I'm too far into this pit of hell for any kind of redemption, and I'm just going to have to deal with it.
Which is why, when Spencer walks me up to my bedroom and gently kisses me goodnight after helping to clean me up, I simply slink away to bed and will myself to sleep, feeling completely numb despite getting exactly what I wanted.
SATURDAY
"Pancakes are done!"
I feel miles better than I did yesterday, maybe because Spencer had padded into my room early this morning to uh... Pay me back for the stunt I pulled last night. I couldn't deny the smile on my face when I woke to his body standing over mine, palming himself through his pants as Andrew slept soundly next to me.
Rather than watch him though, I quietly sat up and lent him a helping hand.
And mouth.
Whatever negativity we'd encountered yesterday had magically vanished, and now I can't help but feel like it's going to be a good day.
It also helps that Andrew made pancakes and bacon.
"These look great, Andy," Mom compliments, sitting down at the head of the table. "Better than mine."
"Nonsense," I tell her. "Yours have confetti sprinkles."
"Yes, but they're always burnt." Spencer kisses the side of her head as he stands behind her, but his eyes are on me, an evil grin on his lips. "No offense, Dear."
I want to strangle him.
"Not all of us can be masters of the frying pan... But I try."
"You do great, Mom, don't listen to him. He may know everything, but he doesn't know everything."
He feigns hurt, putting a hand over his heart and pouting, and I can't help but smile. Mom does, too, and for a moment, it feels like we can all get along without complicated feelings and desires putting a damper on our weekend.
Andrew fixes up his plate last, and when he sits down next to me, his hand finds mine under the table, tapping my palm twice—our signal for "everything good?"
I tap his back, a confirmation that for right now, I'm okay.
Breakfast is enjoyable, and I don't know what the day will bring, but I don't have any panic or dread settling in my bones, and Spencer and I aren't staring daggers into the back of each others' heads, so until that point arises again I decide to stuff my mouth with food and just revel in the calm.
Mom perks up as we're finishing the last few bites of our plates. "There's a big flea market a few towns over today, I thought we could go check it out after breakfast. It's supposed to be a nice half-hour drive along the coast, and they've got live music and tons of food."
"Mmm, sounds great, Mom," I say through a bite of food, swallowing it before continuing. "Maybe on the way back we can stop somewhere and get stuff to finish the patio."
Grandma's beach house is nice, but it's old, which means the patio screens are littered with holes and other wear and tear. Part of the reason we'd decided to come here was to make it look nice and figure out what repairs need to be done before we help her sell it, and that patio needs... Well, it needs a little more than some new screen-doors, but that was the start.
Spencer nudges my foot under the table and speaks up. "I don't do so well in the car after I eat, so I can actually stay back and start working on getting the porch cleared out and take measurements for what you need if you want to go ahead without me."
"Oh, are you sure, Honey?" Mom grabs his hand. "We can wait a little to go if you want."
"Really, it's okay. It's a beautiful morning, you should take advantage of it. I'll take the other car and meet you there in an hour or two."
"Well, okay, if you're sure. I just feel bad leaving you behind..."
He nudges me under the table again.
"I can stay and help," I offer then, suddenly feeling my chest warm up from the inside at the opportunity. Then it's my turn to do the nudging. I tap Andrew's hand under the table and look at him. "I mean, you don't mind hanging out with my mom for a bit, do you?"
I'm so glad he's quick at catching on. And I will love him forever for what he's doing for me. I make a mental note to send him gift baskets for life when he nods and gives my mom his best smile. "I don't mind at all."
I turn to Mom. "Yeah, I'll call you when we've got everything handled and then Spencer and I can just meet you guys down there." I turn to him then, hoping to make it seem more like a natural development of a last-second plan rather than an evil scheme. "If you want the company, that is. I didn't mean to intrude or anything."
He smiles. "I don't mind the help at all, but it's totally up to you and your mom."
Mom practically fawns over her boyfriend and grabs his hand with a lovesick pout, which makes me feel really bad for what we're probably about to do the second she leaves. "No, I think it'll be good for you two to spend some time together. It makes me happy to see my two favorite people getting along."
"Then it's a perfect plan for me," Spencer beams at her, kissing the back of her hand.
———
We wait until we can't see the car anymore, until it's so far in the distance that we're positive we won't be seen. Spencer wants to wait longer in case Mom decides she forgot something and needs to come back, but I know that Andrew will text me if anything happens. Spencer is right here next to me, his hand steady on my lower back as he guides me through the house.
We're alone, not doing anything yet, and it feels like torture.
So on the way to the bedroom, I squeeze his hand and depart, hoping to kill some time—to ease his mind as well as my anxiety.
"I'm gonna pee quick and then you can have your way with me, yeah?"
Spencer reaches out for my hand again, pulling me to him and not letting me go, a glint of something mischievous in his eye. It shocks and excites me simultaneously. "But I want my way with you now."
His lips are on mine, and he's backing me into the wall, picture frames gently rattling in the hallway once my back is flush to the drywall. I melt into him with a laugh.
"We have time," I tell him between kisses, trying to get away. "I'll be quick, I promise."
"No," he grunts, kissing me again, deep and earnest.
I whine at the excitement that burns in the pit of my stomach, but I also do really have to pee. "Spencer, please."
"Hold it," he demands through gritted teeth, kissing my neck and then slotting his knee between my legs.
I clench instinctively, and I can't help but test the waters. "Or what?"
"Or I can tell your mother what a bad girl you were today. So unhelpful, wasting my time and giving me back-talk. She'll be so disappointed in you."
"Wow, Spence. Threatening me with my mother, how kind of you," I retort, even though his words are undoing me. I grind down on his leg and feel my bladder pulse with need. My teeth grit when he bites down on my shoulder.
"I'm a kind man."
"Kinda mean, maybe," I whimper.
"Not really. All you have to do is hold it, pretty girl. That's all I ask."
His knee lifts higher and I moan to the air. "Fuck. Spencer, I don't think I can."
"You will."
I have a brief moment of reprieve when he drops his leg, but it doesn't last long because he brings his hand down in its place, deft fingers slipping under the band of my shorts and toying with my clit.
"That's not fair," I sigh, weaving my fingers through his hair.
He smiles, nipping at my jaw. "Aw, poor thing."
His fingers are relentless, rotating between flicking at my clit and plunging into me and spreading me apart, and it's making it extremely difficult to do what he's asking. I feel an orgasm building rather quickly, but I can't quite tell if that's just because I'm so turned on, if it's my bladder, or both. My thighs are trembling and the pressure is getting tighter.
"Fuck, I— I can't... I'm g—onna..."
The orgasm rips through me beautifully, a brand new feeling that I have to sort-of subside to keep from completely letting go all over his hand, but I can't help it. My hips cant back and forth, and I feel my shorts warm a little as I come down, and suddenly I clench my legs together, whimpering and stopping myself from continuing. The pressure hasn't let up at all, and now it's even harder to hold back.
"I'm sorry... I'm... I'm still trying."
Spencer captures my mouth in a tender, teasing kiss as he coos, "I know... You're trying so hard." His fingers glide through me softly, and then they're gone and taking my bottoms with them. The fabric falls to the floor, and soon his pants are gone, too.
"Can you hold it a little longer, sweetheart?"
"I can try," I sigh out in one quick breath, looking down and already feeling overwhelmed at the sight of his erection.
I'm not going to last long.
Spencer turns me around and bends me at the waist, using one hand to wrap around me and rub my clit as the other guides himself into me from behind.
I yelp, then groan as he fucks me hard.
My face is pressed flat against the wall, and I try to focus on that feeling instead of this new angle and all the pressure it's putting on me. I'm clenching so hard, and Spencer is loving every second.
"God I love how tight you are, trying to be good for me..."
I want to tell him to stop talking, because his words always push me over the edge, but I have to focus so hard on nothing but this goddamn wall in front of me to keep from making a mess. And with each searing thrust he throws my way, that just becomes harder and harder.
He shifts a little and hits a particularly good spot, making me yell again as I relax and start to lose control— but only for a second. I still want to try, so I clench again and whine as I feel the warm liquid roll down my leg and the beautiful burn I'm feeling.
Spencer groans and goes harder then. He wants me to break, and honestly, it might not be long until I do.
"I know you want to, little girl," he tempts, sliding his hand up to press on my bladder. "Am I making it harder for you? Huh?"
If I could punch him, I would, but I'm afraid all I can do is beg him for release, the pressure almost too much. But because I still like to make things difficult and I'm not completely fucked dumb yet, I decide to add some flare.
"Please, Daddy, can I let go?" I whine, and he pauses with one of his own. I feel his hand slide off my stomach and weave through the roots of my hair instead, pulling me up to meet him.
He whispers hotly in my ear, "If you want to act like a greedy little slut, then by all means. Go right ahead..."
It's hard to tell what his intentions are after we move on from this position, but right now, I don't really care. Because no matter what consequences come with it, it's still permission all the same, and I'm not going to last much longer anyway.
"But I'm not going to keep fucking you through it. That's on you."
There it is.
So, what?
He stays inside me, hard and pulsing with need anyway, so I rock myself back and forth on him and reach down to rub my clit as I bring myself to the edge again. I keep trying to hold it until I'm ready to orgasm, and thankfully that doesn't seem to take very long.
Within seconds, I'm coming. I feel it all with a shout, letting my body tense and release, and Spencer grabs my hips to keep me from falling over. His blunt nails digging into my skin only add to the insane pleasure that courses through my body, and then the dam breaks not long after.
I let go in small spurts, still trying to have some control over how I do this, because I still want to drive him mad. So I turn my head and try to look at him, throwing his words in his face.
"I know you want to fuck me through it, Daddy... I'm still trying to hold it for you, so you can. Please..."
"Fuck," he hisses, giving up and pushing me to the wall again. He snaps his hips back and then forward, and it takes all I am not to scream at how good it feels.
This time I really let it all go, allowing myself to relax and revel in all the sensations coursing through me. Just like I wanted, Spencer fucks me through every second of it, until I have nothing else to give but mindless whimpers of over-stimulation and gratitude.
I don't even realize I'm coming again until my body jolts with the sensation, and then Spencer follows, running his hands along the backside of my body anywhere he can reach as he does.
Once we're both tired enough, he pulls out and gently turns me around to face him. I almost whine at the loss of his warmth, but he's pressing me to the wall again and kissing me before I can protest.
I don't know how long we stand there and make out, but eventually I shiver, feeling cold and... dirty. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't regret it, because it was hot as fuck, but... Now? In this moment, after the fact?
I pull away from him and sigh. "You should have just let me go to the bathroom. Now we gotta clean this up."
Spencer ponders for a moment, looking down between us and then back up at me before shrugging with a shit-eating grin.
"I told you to hold it. Maybe you should work on listening to me."
I punch him in the arm, and he laughs.
"In your dreams, old man."
———
Evening comes in the blink of an eye, and I swear it's the happiest I've ever been. Sneaking out of the house like a teenager in love with someone she knows is fundamentally wrong for her is probably the most accurate way to describe what's happening, though Spencer is only wrong for me in a completely different way.
All the same, no matter the reason, he makes it hard to remember why.
It feels so good—so deliciously right—after all.
And how couldn't it; I'm absolutely elated, heart beating wildly as I race down the highway with the windows all the way down. Spencer squeezes my hand, trying to let loose, but I can tell he's utterly terrified by my speed. It makes me laugh.
When I finally pull over into a small clearing some miles down a random side-road and put the car in park, he sighs. "Where are we?"
"Dunno. But it's secluded. Moonlit. Romantic."
Each word that escapes me is punctuated with a kiss on each of his fingers.
"It's... Unsettling."
I can't help but laugh again, unbuckling my seatbelt and climbing over to his lap. He shifts uncomfortably but helps me straddle him anyway, rolling the seat back as far as it can go as I tease him with neck kisses.
"Are you afraid of the dark, old man?"
He groans my name in warning when my teeth bite down on his shoulder. I know I can't mark him. It upsets me greatly, but I have to at least give myself a little taste.
So, when his hands tighten around my waist, I whine and settle for his lips. I kiss him eagerly, and by the way he's responding, any qualms about being in this "unsettling" location seem to have vanished. His hands roam my body reverently and eventually help guide my hips as they rock into him with desperate conviction.
I welcome his tongue with my own and thread my fingers through his hair, already feeling the heat of the summer air cling to my body as the air conditioning dissipates. The windows are already starting to fog.
Spencer notices my urgency and breaks apart with a hum of amusement. "What's the matter?"
"I want out of these damn clothes."
"Well, why didn't you just say so?"
I don't even have the energy to tease him back. He's giving me what I want with no obstacles other than the fabric between us, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.
It's a little difficult in such a cramped space, but eventually I am completely bare in front of him, save for my underwear. I've removed Spencer's shirt, but his slacks are still on, and I'm in the process of helping him out of them when he laughs again.
"What?" I ask, eyebrow raised.
"Nothing... I'm just surprised you even wore any underwear to begin with. Surely you knew what was going to happen tonight..."
I roll my eyes, but my smile never wavers. "Do you or do you not remember how this whole thing started? You love my underwear, and you love taking them off of me... I did this for you."
In agreement, he tenderly slips his middle finger under the seam and pulls the fabric to the side, and I nearly whine as he looks me over, the corner of his bottom lip pinched gently between his teeth. He's so fucking hot it physically hurts me. It makes me pathetic.
"Thank you, sweetheart," he finally offers, dragging a careful finger through my seam. I gasp at the sensation and feel myself start to tremble when he gently flicks at my clit. It's so featherlight, barely a touch at all, but still enough to drive me mad.
I need him. Now.
"Anything for you," I breathe, lunging forward to kiss him again. He welcomes me with fire instead of the amusement I'd almost expected from him. Usually, it's a dig at my eagerness, but tonight he's just as eager, just as needy, and the equal reciprocation has me in shambles.
It doesn't take long to find my way to him. I've finally managed to free his erection from fabric confines, and instead of fully sitting on him, I slick him up with my arousal, grinding along the length of him as he leans his head back and curses to the air. The friction is low-simmering and beautiful, and nowhere near enough to get myself off, but that doesn't matter to me right now. It just feels so good, and seeing Spencer tensing and twitching beneath me, feeling his hands tighten over my breasts as I rock back and forth... Reveling in this tension before truly giving into our carnal desires is honestly just as good as the sex itself. If I could etch this feeling, this erotic slow-burn of a moment, into my soul for all eternity, to remember in vivid detail for as long as I was alive and breathing, I would.
I'm so wet, so hot with sweat and aching with desire for this man, I can barely stand it.
My hand reaches down between us and takes him in a firm grip. I stroke him slow and tight, to which Spencer hisses, forcing himself to look down as he shakes his head.
"Fuck, you're perfect..."
The genuine praise makes me tremble again, warmth flooding my bloodstream. I start to quicken my pace, but his hand reaches down to grab my wrist.
"We have to get out of this damned car."
Before I know what's happening, he's opening the door and exposing us to the open air. He leads me outside, then opens the back door and guides me to the back seat, laying me down on my back. I lean up on my elbow to watch as he towers over me, sliding his pants all the way down and watching me with hungry eyes.
I can't help the urge that overtakes me then, readjusting my underwear again so that I'm exposed to him. Ready. Still, no teasing from him about how ready I am. There is only fire burning behind his gaze and a determination to make me feel every single flame as it dances brightly over my skin.
I can tell just by looking at him right now, barely illuminated by the moon in the open sky above us, Spencer is going to absolutely ruin me.
He comes forward and reaches down, both hands tugging at my underwear until they literally tear at the seams. The sound is so jarring and unbelievably hot that feels almost pornographic. I've never been so turned on in my life. He knows it, too, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he tosses the tattered cotton away like it's nothing at all, then proceeds to adjust me to his liking, folding my knees up to my chest and giving himself the deepest angle he can possibly get.
"Ready?" he asks, that fire in his eyes telling me he already knows the answer.
"Always," I tell him, pulling him down to connect our lips.
He pushes into me then, a steady full movement that doesn't falter even once. I take it happily, humming into Spencer's mouth as he starts to move his hips. The car gently rocks underneath me, the smallest of creaks sounding under the upholstery. Between that and the snapping of his skin to mine, the crickets chirping in the background, and the thick, heavy whirring of our breathing being so close together in this small space, it truly does feel like the perfect summer night.
This is what summers are made for. Passion. Heat. Want. Wildfire. Pure sin...
That's what it is. Spencer's teeth leaving unashamed marks on my skin when I'm not allowed to return the favor as he fucks me in the backseat of my mom's old car, nothing around us but the moon, the stars, and the sweltering summer heat... There would be time for guilt later, when we return to the beach house, and possibly even along the drive there. But for now, I don't feel guilty. I'm completely aware of my surroundings, of my situation, and yet there's not an ounce of guilt to be found anywhere in this car.
That alone is the biggest sin of all.
SUNDAY MORNING / 2 A.M. / SPENCER
My limbs are barely awake when I shuffle down the hallway and sigh heavily at the sweet promise of a deep sleep. I feel tense, but I know that's only because I have to keep my departure a secret. I won't fully know peace until my head has hit the pillow and my consciousness has drifted away for the night.
Eve is an early riser. I won't get much sleep, but the few hours I will manage to round up will be worth it. And I'll go to sleep happy.
Y/N is still all over me, which is dangerous. Her aura, her smiles and her laughter, her sighs and her pleas, her fingernails trying not to leave marks on my back even thought it's all I want—All of it is such an enormous part of who I am now, that every second I'm in Eve's presence, I start to wonder if she can feel it. I hope not, but as a man who has proudly worn and reflected the attributes of every woman he's ever loved, it's a scary thought.
So scary, apparently, that it seems to have manifested a near-heart attack. I know I'm not actually having one, but the sharp pain I feel in my chest when I open the bedroom door and find Eve, awake and sitting in bed with a distant look in her eyes, for a split second, could have fooled me.
"You're up early," I say, closing the door and walking to my side of the bed. My heart is beating so fast, my nervous system working on overload to keep up with the amount of signals and sirens that are blaring in my brain.
Eve doesn't look at me, but responds somberly. "So are you."
How long has she been awake? "Yeah. Couldn't sleep. I wanted to take a drive..."
She hesitates for a moment as I climb into bed and nudge her leg with my own.
"Is everything okay?" she asks.
No.
"Yes. I'm sorry if I worried you." I take her hand in mine, but she still can't look at me. It frightens me. "What's wrong?"
"I don't... I don't know... Something just feels weird, and I don't know what or how to explain it."
"Like... With the house?" I feign confusion, easily disguising the fear that lies underneath, and it seems to work; Eve concedes.
"No," she sighs, turning to finally look at me. Her eyes are tired, and she looks like she's embarrassed. "I don't know... I've been getting this weird feeling lately, and then you disappeared for a couple hours tonight, and I guess I just..."
She trails off, and I sigh, hoping to put her mind at ease. "Eve... You know I love you, right?" They're the right words to say, but they feel evil coming out of my mouth. They're... I don't want to say they're not true, because in some way I still do love her. But... Not how she wants me to. Not how she loves me back.
"I know," she cries apologetically, falling her head onto my shoulder with a dramatic thump. It's a mannerism that reminds me so much of her daughter, I feel another sharp twist in my gut. "I'm sorry, Spencer. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"There is nothing wrong with you," I comfort her quickly, squeezing her hand. "It's okay, I promise."
"No, it's not. It isn't fair for me to just assume you aren't happy in this relationship when you've done nothing to show otherwise, and then act all grumpy and accusatory. It wasn't right. I should have just talked to you about my... weirdness, and gotten it out of the way. I'm sorry."
"I appreciate that," I tell her. I'm relieved that she still doesn't know the truth, but my heart is still racing and I can't seem to get those damn warning sirens to quiet in my head. "Still, I'm sorry for worrying you. I wasn't tired, and it seemed like a perfect night for a quiet, mindless drive."
"Mmm, you're right," Eve agrees, leaning into me and glancing out the window. She takes a deep breath and kisses my neck, right where her daughter had been only hours before. "Next time, invite me along?"
"You got it." It's an empty promise, but it makes her happy. It keeps her unassuming.
We fall asleep together, but my dreams belong to someone else.
#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid smut#mercy after hours#spencer reid x reader fanfic#spencer reid x reader smut#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#summer of sin
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Happy Spooky Season! I was wondering if I could request a platonic Rowan looking out for Aelin's teen sister? I feel like he'd be a strict, but protective big brother by insisting on dropping her off at places, like the theatre, picking her up again, accompanying her into Orynth, guarding her during balls (if he's busy then assigning his former cadre to do it for him), etc. And she gets annoyed by it, until his behaviour comes in clutch one day when he spots her in some kind of sticky situation and helps her out.
Big Brother
Rowaelin x little sister!reader
Warnings: short but sweet
When Rowan first came into your and Aelin’s life you were very annoyed by him
He was always in your business and annoying you
But you annoyed him so things were even
You didn’t trust Rowan at first. Hell you didn’t trust anyone around your older sister, especially someone you could see her falling for
Aelin told you about Chaol and you hated him. Who was he to say that you and your sister were monsters?
After Maeve and Erawan you worked out your differences with Chaol and Dorain
Speaking of Dorian, you had a massive crush on him but Rowan shut that down real quick
He also shut down your crush on Petrah Blueblood, “one person in this group being with a witch is enough.” Rowan had scolded. You just stuck your tongue out at him and stomped off to your room
Aelin and Rowan were like your surrogate parents
Your big sister had looked after you all your life
Aelin was your protector and made sure you never had to train to be what she was, but enough to fight and cause the most harm to someone who was trying to hurt you
You were a feral child around Arobynn because you always got bad vibes from him. You also hated the way he looked at your sister
Aelin did baby you, she still does and so does Rowan, but she never hid the truth from you
Once Terrasen was rebuilt, as princess, you started to get involved with the community. Your main focus being schools and the public library
When not attending his kingly duties Rowan was escorting you from event to event, making sure you stayed safe
“Ro, there has never been an attempt. I don’t need a babysitter, I can handle myself.” Rowan raised a silver brow at you. “There hasn’t been one because I’m good at my job, little sister.” The darkness in his voice sent a shiver down your spine and made you think about your security detail and how protected you and your kingdom are
During special events if Rowan can’t watch you like a hawk one of the Cadre is assigned to you
Fenrys is for low risk events; putting the two of you together is beyond chaotic. You two are the ultimate sibling duo and you always have fun with Fenrys. He absolutely sees you a little sister and loves having you as a companion especially after Connall
Lorcan is for high risk outings; Lorcan is scary dog privilege. He stares down anyone who even breathes in your direction. Lorcan stands faithfully by your side, arms crossed and weapons on display, for hours on end. As much as you would like to mess with him, you actually behave when Lorcan is around. You know if he’s escorting you it’s serious
Gavriel is just back up; He’s your uncle! Of course he’s more than happy to drop everything to be with his niece. Plus he spoils you to make up for years lost out on family time
As much as you find Rowan’s presence annoying at times there finally came a day where you were thankful for his protection
Heading out to a speaking engagement at the primary school you were trying to find any Cadre members to escort you instead of two security guards
Rowan has your schedule, so he should’ve been free. But alas, the buzzard was stuck in meetings with your sister
Uncle Gav was out doing you have no idea what, Lorcan was home with Elide, and Fenrys was away with Vaughn, who you still haven’t actually laid eyes on by the way
You opted to take two of your normal guards to escort you
But without Rowan to walk them through security protocols you were walking around without knowing about any threats
Everything was going smooth. You made it to the school, your talk with the children went very well! They loved to hear stories from you about the Queen and King. They loved to play with you and tell you anything that pops into their little heads
It wasn’t until you were on the way back to the castle that trouble found you
Your carriage was stopped abruptly, the horses neighing and rearing up on their hind legs at the danger in the middle of the road
“Stay here, princess!” Your guards shout, leaving you alone closed in the carriage. You weren’t afraid at first. Not until you heard shouting and fighting. You couldn’t hear much. The men who stopped you were a small group. They wanted revenge on Aelin for killing Dorian’s father. Who know loyalists to the former King of Adarlan were around
Before things could escalate further a flash of white light had you shielding your eyes as you peer out the window, the men thudding against the ground
“Take them to the prison!” You had never been so relieved to hear Rowan’s voice. You stayed locked in the carriage until he came and got you
When Rowan opens the door you fling yourself into him, wrapping your arms around him neck. “I have never been so grateful for you not minding your business.” Your brother laughs, hugging you back. “Let’s get you home, Aelin has been worried.”
#throne of glass#throne of glass headcanons#throne of glass imagine#throne of glass fanfiction#throne of glass fanfic#throne of glass fic#throne of glass rowan#rowan throne of glass#throne of glass Aelin#aelin throne of glass#Rowan x reader#rowan whitethorn headcanon#rowan whitethorn fanfic#rowan whitethorn fic#rowan whitethorn#aelin x Rowan#aelin x reader#aelin galythinius#queen aelin#aelin ashryver galathynius
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VoidSeeker | Herrscher of Dream
#I tried to make the eyes look like her ultimate I think i did ok#Her outfit had to not use white as a secondary main color because it would blend in with the hair#I made the inside sleeve into a galaxy because it looks cool and it make it seem like her hand comes out of nowhere#Which is a bit like what she can with portals? Mostly because it looked cool I'll be real#Thank you hoyo for making her hand pink in the original colors#I need to stop editing long haired character#But at the same time I would really like to try and Sa-ify vita's splash art....#honkai impact#honkaiposting#honkaimpact3rd#hi3#hi3rd#honkai spoilers#herrscher of the void#*If you have any idea for a character that I could Void-ify just idk put it somewhere*#Get void beamed.#My edit in fact
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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The more I see your work and the more I see of poorly drawn scum villain, the more I'm tempted to do a poorly drawn tgcf 🥺 (I've only just started listening to it and I absolutely love it!!)
I just don't think I'm as funny as both of you and don't know if I could commit to uploading as regularly as you both do.
But oh! I am SO very tempted!! 😭
Working on an adaption of an existing media as a long form project is honestly my strongest recommendation for getting your creative brain going! Of course, there is still planning and hard work that goes into it, but the biggest creative pressures are much lower (And when anxiety brain is quiet, art brain thrives!)
That said, projects like this are a huge commitment, and I'm a bit of a freak case when it comes to the grind. PD-Scumvillian and I both put a lot of work behind the scenes to make it seem as effortless as it is. I'm wholeheartedly giving you my support should you go through with it; feel free to reach out and ask for tips and tricks!
#ask#I deliberated about sending this privately (as I tend to do with a lot of asks)#But its also a question that has come up a lot - especially since Poorly-Drawn-Scumvillian started.#I think my real recommendation here is 'start with something achievable!'#I could get into why I chose something very long like mdzs another time but the main point was that I fully expected it to be long.#Y'know. Maybe 8-10 months of posting? Yeah. It's been over twice as long and I'm still not done.#Adaptions really are the best though. I love working on adaptions. I think every creative writer and artist should dabble in adaptions.#You get to learn a *lot* from people who made something that you *know* works. And you start to see how it all comes together.#If you do go through with TGCF there is always putting a fun spin on it - like the 'tgcf but I havent seen it' comics by Tempo-takoyaki#Having a format helps a lot and the goal should always be 'this is a reason for me to practice drawing as frequently as possible'#You could take the humour out of it entirely if that takes the pressure off of you!
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tgcf as a long rambling bedtime story shang qinghua tells xuejiao (because story time is one of the few times his little half-demon whelp will cuddle with him) intended to teach a spoiled ass ice prince the value of humility and goodness and dedication to the people. it backfires horrifically because XJ thinks that xie lian is extremely cringe and in true airplane fashion the epic bloodthirsty demon antagonist ends up being a supreme simp househusband. how does this keep happening to SQH
#maybe XJ can transmigrate a little. As a treat#SQH put ALL his sauce into building up how OP hua cheng is as a main antagonist#but then the spirit of millennial communism strikes him and he’s like hol up. What if the real enemies….. are the heavens??#and xie lian and hua cheng both have reasons to have beef with the gods.. maybe they can work together#haha and maybe hua cheng actually knew XL before he ascended and secretly admires him as the one Good God#hehe maybe he even Likes him… maybe he’s been longing from afar….. maybe he’s PINING… MAYBE HIS WHOLE LIFE IS CENTERED AROUND XL ACTUALLY#YOU SEE MY PRINCE WHEN YOURE A GOOD AND HUMBLE PRINCE THEN YOU GET A INCREDIBLY HOT GHOST KING HUSBAND WHO LOVES YOU LIKE CRAZY#baby XJ is very fascinated by the idea of the heavens. SQH sort of meant to include that in PIDW but that went the same way as tianlang jun#fun ideas never fleshed out. I think the idea of the heavenly realm in svs3 could be SOOO FUN#a derelict abandoned realm of ruins and long shattered glory#svs3#my stupid silly moshang bebè
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the problem with not having any new fics to read bc they havent been posted yet is that when Invisible Tigers Are Hunting You, there is no distraction
#this Baseless Fear that sometimes strikes me#reminding me of my mortality and making believe it is deeply immediate despite how illogical it is#Is Getting Real Fuckin Old!#i gotta grip onto the reminder that i am Only Twenty. i have my whole life ahead of me probably.#there is Time. things will get better. someday i will Accomplish Things.#i will turn around and wish i could visit past (current) me and say It Does Get Better And You Will Not Only Exist But Live. I Love You.#but for tonight i feel very small and scared#and i am using the company of videos and stories to soothe the Invisible Tigers#i think i will.... reread some fics.... perhaps...#i havent reread stamps yet.... ill go do that#get my laughingstock crumbs#ill put on birdsong in the bg#im borrowing my friends lovely headphones. i Need some of my own. earbuds just dont do it anymore#especially since theyre noise canceling. Yummy#theyre helping immensely i think#absolutely unprompted#sorry for once again Venting on Main#i am very tired and have no other outlet <3#its 4 am. i have to get up in 7 hours. i am still too terrified to sleep#but its okay its Fine this night will Pass#thats half the fear but all the same. there are Good Things in my future. i have hope theyre there. theyre waiting for me.#ill figure it out Ill Figure It Out.#we all will!#we'll all get there. someday before the end.
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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