#i think my brain stopped working when i had to go through all 47 docs in my tldc folder to put this together. which was several hours ago

[jeromesxreader16]

Such A Joker (48)

Part 47 Here!!!

~o0o~

"Alright Ms. Gordon, this is going to be a bit cold.'' The doctor places the gel on my stomach. Barbara holds my hand smiling.

"and there it is." I watch the doctor point at a small dot. "wait. What is that?" Barbara asks squinting at the screen. "Ah, good eye Ms. Keen. Congratulations (y/n), you're carrying twins." I look at Barbara gasping. "Twins." Barbara smirks and covers her mouth. "I guess this is what happens when you get with two brothers!" "Hush Babs! That's not how it works!"

The doctor smiles as we watch the two dots dance alongside each other.

~

I walk into Jeremiah's office smiling at the photo of the babies. "And right here we can use the commanded wire so it will transfuse- darling - you're back." I look up in a daze seeing Bruce and Jeremiah both in the office working on the project.

"Oh! I'm so sorry to interrupt! I'll come back, boys." Bruce shakes his head. "No, no, Ms. Gordon. Please." Jeremiah walks over with a kiddish grin. "How is it?" I smile at the picture before handing it over to him. "They are just fine." "They?" Jeremiah stares down at the picture showing the two babies. "Twins, Jeremiah." He smiles engulfing me in a hug. "Mother always said twins are better because you have double the love." I laugh rolling my eyes.

"Congratulations, (y/n). On the engagement and the child." Bruce says hugging me. Jeremiah shrugs placing an arm over Bruce's shoulder. "I may have told him earlier."

~

I knock on my dad's door tapping my foot. "(Y/n)!" He opens it hugging me tightly. "Hi, dad!" I enter sitting on his couch. "I'm just watching the game. You want a beer?" I shake my head, placing my hand on my stomach unconsciously.

"What's that?" "What?" My father picks up my hand with my engagement ring. "Oh! Actually what I came to talk to you about. Jeremiah proposed. Can you believe it?"

My dad scoffs, "Son of a bitch." "Aren't you happy?" "Are you sure you want to do this, (y/n)? Marriage is a big step. Then you'll start a family, and you don't know the first thing about how to raise a child. I just think you should slow down a little." I stare at Jim with disbelief. "Slow down? That shouldn't matter if I'm happy with him, dad."

"I know you like him, and he is a good guy, but are you sure he's the right one? His brother was a-" "He is nothing like Jerome!"

Jim shakes his head, sighing. "I think you should rethink this." I stand up walking to the door. "Is it your plan in life to kill my happiness? You can't control me anymore. I shouldn't have even told you." I open the door exiting the home as my father calls out for me into the Gotham sky.

"Who needs him."

~

Late into the hours of the AM, I awake by the sound of laughter echoing through the halls. I reach for Jeremiah only to find his spot empty. "Uh oh. Better check on him. Make sure he hasn't gone overboard!" Jerome laughs as he covers up in his brother's spot in the bed.

I follow the echo towards the living room and upon entering I see Jeremiah sitting in front of a camera and applying makeup with a mirror.

"What are you doing?"

Jeremiah turns to me patting his face with my beauty blender. "Do you just take all my things?" "What's yours is mine, darling."

I look down at the table looking at the different things spread out. I pick up strips of false skin and look at Jeremiah. "What are you planning?"

He looks at me and sighs pulling out a colorful notebook. "That is Jerome's." He nods humming. He opened it and pushed towards me showing me a crazy plan to terrorize Gotham.

"I've only taken ideas from him here and there. He's far too insane for anything to work. Look where it got him. He was obsessed with killing me, Bruce, and Jim Gordon."

I huff rolling my eyes at the mention of my father. "Yeah, he had a habit of pissing people off." Jeremiah smirks at me as I speak poorly of Jim. "Read through it. You've played in this game before. I want your advice."

I read the whole plan twice over before looking up at Jeremiah smirking.

"You're going to throw a wake for Jerome at the GCPD?" All while you are what?" He nods putting on the fake scars. "Wait, babe. You're crooked." I move, helping him apply the fake face of Jerome.

"I need those crazed fans of his to handle the chaos while I get some things done for the future. They're my distraction. I need you in the GCPD making sure it plays out." I smirk patting the foundation on his face.

He smirks up at me and shrugs. "Once you start to show I need to keep you safe throughout this process. It's going to be messy, darling." He chuckles looking in the mirror.

"Ecco could be your sidekick after I'm out. She can wear my stuff." Jeremiah smirks, grabbing my wrist. Turning to face me with his icy eyes. "Trust me, love. I've got everything laid out. She's already agreed to stay by our side, love."

Jeremiah sits at the camera composing himself. "Ready, Jer?" He nods, closing his eyes and giggling.

"3... 2... 1... ACTION!"

~

"Ecco, tie me up will you?" She rushes behind me tightening the back of the black top. "You look amazing." She says smiling at me from over my shoulder. "She does, doesn't she?" Jeremiah smirks from his seat as he gazes at me.

Ecco clears her throat backing away emotionless. "You have everything you need, love?" I stand in front of Jeremiah pulling out the recording, megaphone, and my gun. "Locked and loaded, baby." He grins nodding at me. "Such a good girl." He snakes his arm around my waist and walks me out to my motorcycle.

"Now I want all three of you to be safe." Jeremiah places his hands on my stomach kissing my forehead. "So cheesy." He smirks at me smacking my bottom quickly. "Get on the bike. Mrs. Valeska, and come home quickly. Your husband will need you."

~

I roll up as the leader of the gang is speaking full-hearted words of my lost lover. "Brothers and sisters, let's raise a glass to our fallen leader. To Jerome!"

"To Jerome!" They chant, then spit on Jerome's grave. I giggle stepping out. "To Jerome. He will be missed. Certainly by me." The gang giggles and looks at me questionably.

The leader walks up to me looking me over. "This affair is invitation only." "Hm. Well, I have to say I'm a bit upset you didn't invite me." I remove my mask and they all gasp. "Ms. Gordon!" "It's her!"

The leader gasps getting on his knees. "I am so sorry! I meant no disrespect." I scoff rolling my eyes. "Stand up. I've got something to say."

"The Queen shall speak!" Followers help me upon a grave acting as a small stage. I lift the megaphone and recorder playing the message. "Why so sad, bozos? Did you think they could get rid of me so easily? Well, okay. So, they did. I'm dead, but let's not dwell on negatives. I have one last party to throw. But first, on the to-do list, dig me up. Dig me up!"

"You heard him!"

"Come on, clowns! Dig him up!"

"Get Jerome!"

I laugh at the idiots giving the direction to invade the GCPD bright and early.

~

I walk into the GCPD, passing the investigation room, and seeing Lee of all people. I laugh walking to meet my father yelling at Harvey.

"Get out of here." "What?" "I don't need that crap thrown in my face right now. Get out of here!" I walk up laughing. "Wow, mad because your ex got arrested? Tough case."

"(Y/n). What are you doing here?" I shrug sipping my coffee. "I was in the neighborhood. Can't I stop by and see my father? Or are you still mad at me for being happy?" Jim looks down avoiding eye contact. "Can we please not do this here?" "Want some help then?" I walk in the door of the investigation room before Jim can stop me. I turn to Lee smiling, "Hey there, lady. I've heard you've been having some real fun."

She looks me over grinning as she analyzed my frame. "(Y/n), I wasn't expecting you. Your... glowing." I wink at her sitting in one of the chairs.

My father walks in sitting down across from her heatedly. "What the hell, Lee?"

Lee raised her brows, "I don't suppose this is where anyone expected our story to end." "So, it's ending?" "Hard to imagine what's left."

My father sighs, "I wanna help you." "How?" "Give up Nygma." I gasp slamming my hand on the table. "You and Ed? Oh my gosh! So cute! How about this. You could just return the money, right? We can ask the DA for supervised probation." Lee shakes her head. "I'm not betraying my friend."

"They can call you "the Doc," you can rob banks, fight gangsters, but I know you. You're Lee Thompkins. And all this, this is just a... A way of helping people. I understand that. Who doesn't want to be Robin Hood? But you're still breaking the law."

"Jim, you wish you could do what I'm doing. Helping people without the straitjacket of the law? As if the law means anything in Gotham. Look at your daughter free and running around after she committed murder." I glare at her. "I've got my sane papers to prove it, T."

"You want to send me to Blackgate? Go ahead!" Lee challenges loudly. "I don't want to send you to Blackgate! It's the last thing I want to do! Don't you know I wish I could let you walk out that door, turn my head."

I look at my father tilting my head. "Then what's holding you back, Jimbo? Maybe if you'd let her go, you'd let yourself go, too. You could let me go." Jim furrows his brows fighting with himself.

Suddenly the tension is split with knocking on the door. Harvey pops his head in, "Sorry to stick my face in your business, but something just came up."

I walk into the big office stealing the chair at the desk. "What's this all about?" "Your ex-boyfriend twice over has just granted us with a gift. Any clue on what it is?" I shake my head playing along. "How could he have planned this? You don't think he might still be alive, do you?"

Harvey turns to Mr. Fox, "What were the autopsy results, Lucius?"

"Dead when he came in, more dead when he was eviscerated, and his brain was sliced up."

The screen on the TV focuses and Jerome appears on the screen. "Hello, Jimmy! If you're watching this, things must not have gone well for me. Shucks! I know my dear, doll is crying herself to sleep in my brother's arms. I can only pray, I gave as good as I got, and left ample carnage in my wake. But I don't want to fixate on disappointments. Jimmy, I have one last teensy request for you from your ole late son in law. I want you to throw me a wake at the GCPD. Don't worry about the guest list. I've already sent the invitations."

A car horn sounds loudly outside and the rumble of the gang outside rises. "I don't like the sound of that," Harvey says looking around the room.

"Lockdown everything, now! Everybody listen up! Lock it down! Lock it down, now!

The mod bangs against the door risking the chance of invading the GCPD. I look over the panic of the cops biting my lip. "What are we going to do? We need to hit them! Get them away from here." I say frustrated.

"We're not. We're going to let them in." Jim says, making me look at him wide-eyed. "Have you lost your mind, dad?" "(Y/n), you know how Jerome works, dead or alive. He uses distractions." I look at the door that is about to bust wide open to the freaks on the outside. "We're just going to let them come in and party?"

Jim nods gathering us around. "This wake is just intended to distract us, while his followers hit the real target."

"Which is?"

Well, we're never gonna figure that out if we're inside, fighting off these maniacs, are we? Look, they come in the front door, right? You fall back, get a few shots off, make it look good. Meanwhile, the entire precinct sneaks out this old service door as quickly as possible. Once we're outside, we surround the building, cordon it off." I smirk at my father's plan. "You're trapping them inside!"

"Correct. They blow off some steam. We hit 'em with teargas, and knock a few heads."

"There is the issue with figuring out what the real target is. Got a plan for that, dad?"

Jim smirks. "I do."

~

Jeremiah POV:

"I didn't think you could get the generator program working so quickly," Bruce says admiring the tower. "You ready for a demonstration?"

"Okay, you hit that switch there, and the facility will be disconnected from the power grid." Bruce flips the switch on the wall allowing the tower to take over the power ridge completely.

The generator hums lowly and glows, seconds later the lights in the building return and the tower is stable. "Ambient energy. No cables or wires of any kind. It's clean and stable. Harvested from micro tremors and air density shifts, it's... It's virtually without costs." I hum looking over my work.

"And with the prototypes at Wayne Labs, we can power all of Gotham?"

"You've kept this project a secret, yes?"

"No one outside of Wayne Industries knows it exists."

I mumble walking towards my desk. "It's the ones who are closest to you that you have to keep your eye on. I know better than anyone." I pull out Jerome's diary chuckling to myself. "Arkham Asylum sent me Jerome's personal effects, and amongst them, I found his diary. It's a catalog of his fantasies and goals. Every twisted vision he ever had." I turn a few pages seeing the horrific drawings.

"Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time reading it." I nod, "(Y/n) says that too. He was obsessed with torturing and murdering me, James Gordon, and you, and if he had been just the least bit sane, he would have destroyed us all. And Gotham would be in ruin."

Bruce walks over placing a hand on my shoulder. "Your brother's dead, Jeremiah. It's time for you to come out of this bunker and join the world. You'll be a father soon, and you can't expect your kids to have their father living underground."

I shutter and nodded in agreement. "Yes. Yes, he's dead. I still have trouble believing it."

Bruce picks up his phone suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Alfred. I'm on my way." Bruce faces me again, "Lunch plans... That was a lie."

"You're lying to me, Bruce?"

He sighs, shaking his head. "You're right. I'm sorry. It seems some of Jerome's followers are causing trouble." I shutter in panic. "Oh, my God. I was right."

"No, Jeremiah."

"I was right. He's not dead. Bruce, he's not dead. He's alive, and he's coming after me and (y/n)!"

Bruce grabs my shoulders holding me steady. "Jeremiah, easy, easy. You're not thinking clearly. Come on, this isn't like you."

I sigh looking at my friend letting everything play out. "Bruce... Bruce, I need to tell you something. After Jerome died, he left one last final trap for me and (Y/n)... He sprayed both of us with his insanity gas." Bruce backs away slightly.

"It's a special mixture just for you, brother," he said. I can't stop seeing him. Clawing his way out of his grave, coming for me, and even though I know it's not real, it feels real. And I can't control myself." Bruce nods coming forward again. "What if I could show you he's dead and buried?" "How?" "We go there, to his grave."

I shake my head frantically. "No. No, no, no."

"Jeremiah, listen to me. Your brother took away your greatest strength, your mind, and turned it into a trap. But if you can see the reality, you can be freed from that trap." I stare at him in hope. "You really think that would work?" He nods his head. "I do."

"Then I'll try. You're a good friend, Bruce."

~

The freaks in the GCPD cause chaos as we try to escape. "There's too many of them." I scramble on my feet down the hallway and into the locker room with my dad.

"We have to go!"

I race to the door only to be knocked down by a cult member. She smirks at me and I wink at her going along with our little act. "Hey, there little thing!"

"Well, look at us. We caught ourselves Captain James Gordon and his little girl! How fantastic!"

"Hi, guys." My dad grins at them.

"Don't try and get chummy with us, Gordon. We're gonna carve you up."

"Yeah, no, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them." Jim says pointing behind us towards Harvey. "Hey, man, you like to dance?" Harvey tases them.

"Let's you and me talk outside, what do you say?"

They stuff the poor guy in the trunk and tase him every few minutes for an answer.

"Long live Jerome!"

Harvey groans, tasing him once more. "All right. One more time, sunshine. Did Jerome leave any other instructions?"

"I'll never- AH!"

"All right, look, this is how it's going to go. You're going to start talking, or I'm gonna stop caring whether you can talk, you got it?" He groans and nods looking at Harvey with fear.

"I'll talk! It's too late, anyways. They're already dead."

"Who? Who's dead?" I challenge with worry. He giggles and replies in a sing-song voice. "Jeremiah and Bruce Wayne." I shut the trunk frustrated.

"He can't be telling the truth, can he? Dad, if Jer is gone..." "Don't worry about this. I want you to go to your apartment, (Y/n). I'll bring Jeremiah to you. I'll go to the bunker." I nod sighing. "Be careful."

As I walk away from the GCPD I call Ecco. "It's a go. He's heading there now."

~

Jim POV:

"Bruce? Jeremiah?" I call out into the stone bunker. I walk into Jeremiah's office seeing the large generator creating a static buzz. The monitors on the wall turn on revealing a static picture of Jerome. "Hiya, Jimbo!"

"Jerome..."

"Ah! Don't bother talkin' to me. This is a recorded message, and plus, I'm still dead. Just more posthumous fun. Look, I knew you'd see through all those shenanigans at the station. I've given all my fans a script for them to follow. See, I wanted to bring you here. Oh!" Suddenly a gun is pressed to my head from a masked figure. "Don't mind her. She's just here to make sure there's no talking during the movie. And, trust me, you're gonna wanna pay attention, so the twist makes sense at the end."

Jerome laughs easily. Two hands reach around his neck strangling him allowing me a chance to fight off the masked women. Once battling her to the ground I remove the mask. "Ecco?"

Jerome goes limp on screen only to have him pop up on the other. He pulls his sleeves up smiling, "I tell you, suicide really takes it out of a guy." He pulls out a red cloth and wipes his face with it. "Huh. What's this?" Jerome peels the skin from his face smirking at the screen.

"No."

He holds the cloth over his face concealing his features. "Jerome is dead." He removes the cloth revealing a pale-faced Jeremiah. "Long live me." He speaks with a calm smirk as his icy eyes burn into mine.

"I apologize for the deception, Jim. I needed to ape Jerome in order to persuade his followers to throw that macabre celebration at your police station. They are a pathetic lot, but not without their uses."

Ecco gets up and exits the room locking the door in a split second. I pull against them in an effort to escape.

"Ah, sidebar, that is a self-perpetuating generator. It can store a phenomenal amount of energy. I would hate to be within a mile of it if it were to overload."

~

"Now do you believe I'm not your brother? Jeremiah, listen to me! Jerome's followers are doing this! Nothing else makes sense. He sent them instructions to torment you." Bruce cries out as I examine my brother's face. I scoff, "How fake. Yes, I can see quite clearly where you cut off poor Bruce's face, and stitched on your own. But I am a man of science. So, let's have some evidence, huh?" I pull out a knife lunging at Bruce.

"Let's go, brother. Let's pull off that grotesque facade." I giggle, swiping the blade at Bruce. He twists my arms and grabs me in a locked hold.

"Jeremiah! Do not let him turn you into him! Do not let Jerome win this battle! Think about your kids! Think about (y/n)!"

I giggle in his grip, "Jerome, beat me? That'll be the day."

The followers come out ripping us apart chanting.

"Long live Jerome! Long live Jerome! Long live Jerome!"

A member holding onto me yells, "Jerome is victorious at last!" I roll my eyes whipping my gun out from my sleeve and shooting him dead. Blood splatters on me as he falls and the yard grows silent. "Jerome victorious? Are you serious?"

I look down gesturing to his dead body. "He's dead. Haven't you been paying attention?"

I sigh pulling out a rag and wiping the olive tone cover off my face allowing my pale skin to come to the light.

I smirk walking over to Jerome and kicking him back in the grave. "I am the one who's victorious."

I turn back to Bruce and the cult smirking. "Look, Bruce, like everything Jerome set his mind to, his insanity gas failed. Other than some mild cosmetic effects, he might as well have sprayed me with water. You all need to see Jerome for the utter dud that he was. So, I donned the mask of madness to show you how feeble that is compared to actual greatness. Behold, the face of true sanity. But looks aren't everything. I have a compendium of Jerome's obsessions and goals. I will outdo every one of them."

(Y/n) stolls out reading Jerome's diary. "Jerome wanted to turn Gotham into a madhouse. But Jeremiah taught me to build something, you must first tear down what is already there. Start fresh." She smirks looking over the pictures.

"Jeremiah, the gas worked. Both of you are insane!" Bruce fights against the hold of the followers. "Think about it. You want to carry out Jerome's crazy plans sanely? What could be madder than that?"

(Y/n) steps up, pinching Bruce's cheek. "Madder? Bruce, you're so misled."

"May I, love?" I take the book from (y/n) turning to a page full of insanity fueled ideas. "Ah, here, for example. Jerome wanted to slather you in honey, and have you eaten alive by corpse beetles... Now, that's mad. Me, if I wanna kill you, I'll just do it. I'll shoot you in the head. Simply and sanely." I finish aiming my gun at Bruce and smirking. "But I don't want to kill you."

All the followers groan with disappointment. "Are you gonna listen, or are you gonna behave like children?"

"See, I don't want to kill you, because I wanna show you how much I've changed things. How much we've changed things. Because I could not have done any of this without your help." Bruce furrows his brows.

"My help?"

(Y/n) smiles leaning against me. "Should we tell him, Jer?" She giggles looking up at me. I kiss her head sweetly.

"I feel very indebted to you, Bruce. See, those generators that we built with your money... they work even better as bombs."

~

"That sound you're hearing. That is a very bad sound. One which, I'm afraid, makes you something of a guinea pig, Jim."

I look behind me seeing the generator buzzing louder each second. "Killing you will help secure the loyalty of Jerome's minions, but more importantly it will keep you out of (Y/n)'s life. Now, she doesn't know this yet, but it's for the better. And, well... That is that. Goodbye, Jim Gordon."

~

Suddenly an explosion goes off in the direction of the bunker. Jeremiah smiles watching the gas cloud. "That's one down. Jim Gordon is dead."

"What?" I look up at Jeremiah shocked. "You didn't tell me you were going to do this. T-That's my father, Jer." He sighs pouting his lip towards me. "Love, I understand, but he was never going to let us be together. Now, we can be a real family. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Aww, now, that's actually cute. Son of a bitch finally did it! Be happy he's not controlling your life anymore, doll!" Jerome's voice flashes in my ears.

I gulp looking in the direction of the smoke. "I think I'm more upset about our home."

Jeremiah smirks looking at me. "I've set us up, darling. Don't you worry. Everything important was moved last night."

Bruce fights against the follower's hold. "(y/n), how could you do this? He is your father!"

Jeremiah waves his hand, hushing Bruce. "Sorry, Bruce, but progress requires sacrifice."

"I'm going to stop you." Bruce sneers. I sigh, shaking my head. "I really hope you don't try. I would hate to have to kill you. In fact, I can honestly say, you are my very best friend." I walk over hitting him over the head with my gun, and throwing him in the grave with my brother.

I wrap my arm around (Y/n) walking away from the graveyard. "Well, that was fun." She said giggling. I smirk holding her close. "Yes, it was, love. Long live us."

"Jeremiah! Jeremiah!" The followers chant behind us as we file out. ~

Ecco follows behind us as (Y/n) and I walk down the dark hall towards the generator base in Wayne Enterprises. "Good evening, gentlemen." I speak waltzing towards them.

"Hey there, Mr. Valeska. You and (Y/n) alone or is that Mr. Wayne behind you too?"

"No, Mr. Wayne. She's just a little help."

(Y/n) pulls out a gun shooting both men dead. "Nice shot." Ecco praises her as I open the doors revealing the many bombs. I grin overlooking my projects. "Look at these. The gifts of true friendship. Ecco, let's load them on the trucks. It's time to give Gotham City its new face." I pull (Y/n) to me smiling. "It's time I build a city good enough for my Queen." I place my hands in her stomach getting jitters. "And for my heirs."

[crinkled-emotions]

Temperatures Rising || Maxi x Harrison (Bondi Rescue)

I was watching a really recent episode (season 14 somewhere?) and poor Harrison got sized up by this guy who wanted to bash his brains out simply because Harrison approached him about being creepy toward a 15 year old girl. Huge respect to Harrison for being so good about that situation by the way, he handled it really well. Anyway, so this guy didn’t end up beating up Mr Reid but I wondered what would have happened if the guy had tried to. Tommy’s a cool bloke too, so no beef! Tommy’s a younger guy and Harrison has a little more experience under his belt so it makes sense as to why he would take the situation into his hands. Anyway, Harrison gets beat up and Maxi’s there for the aftermath. What a sweetheart.

The cameras surrounded Tommy, Harrison and the irritated Brazilian man, the crew completely silent as Harrison tried to talk him down. Tommy was lowkey tucked behind Harrison, done deliberately by the older lifeguard just in case things got violent. With the cops nowhere to be seen- dealing with another situation- Harrison knew he could make a citizen’s arrest, or he could talk the guy into leaving the beach without any interference from the other boys in blue. Jesse had radioed to tell them the cops would be on their way shortly, but with the guy becoming more and more violent Harrison wasn’t sure he could wait that long. Besides, if the guy wanted to he could head for the hills in a split second.

“Why are the cops coming?”

“You know why mate, you can’t be touchin’ minors like that.”

“But why?”

“Mate, you need to understand that you’ve done something wrong.”

“I simply saw a beautiful girl on the beach, is that a crime?”

“Worse than that, you kissed her and threw another into the ocean without her consent.”

Harrison was sweating from stress and the 47°C heat, but he tried to focus on what was going on. This guy, while small and nimble, could probably pack one hell of a punch- Harrison had very quickly learned not to underestimate people who looked unassuming. Just the fact this guy had thrown a girl into the water was enough to keep Harrison aware. Tommy was hiding behind him still, a half step to the left though so Harrison could move if needed.

 ------------

Another ten minutes pass. Bystanders are watching with anxiety rippling through the crowd, but Tommy steps up to wave them off. Most leave in search of cool air, ice cream or something cold, but a couple hang around. Harrison has his eyes focused on the offender, irritation flooding his veins. Where the fuck are the cops when you need them?

Jesse radioed in again as nerves started to run through Harrison.

“Jesse to Hux, the cops are probably another ten-ish minutes. If you’re worried he’s gonna do a runner I’ll send Hoppo down to escort him, but at the moment we’re just gonna have to watch him. Are you good to do that?”

“Huxy to Jesse; I should be okay. Tommy’s down here, is he okay to be here despite only being a trainee technically?”

“Jesse to Huxy- Tommy’s good mate, you’ve done this before so you know what to do. If you’re worried about him put him on crowd control, I can see the people around you from here.”

“Huxy to Jesse; Cheers mate.”

Harrison turned his radio down, clipping it back on to his belt. The offender was watching him right back, clearly annoyed at being held without an explanation. Harrison could see he was becoming more agitated, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold him on the beach.

“Look, mate, I’m really sorry about the delay, apparently the cops are tied up on the street, so we’re gonna have to just hang here a little longer.”

“I’ve done nothing wrong!” The man yelled, grabbing Harrison by the shirt. Tommy appeared, about to get between them when Harrison stopped him.

“Go get Jesse, tell him to get Hoppo and the cops down here asap.”

Tommy bolted for the buggy, peeling out of the crowd and heading for the tower. Harrison watched for a few seconds then turned back to the situation at hand, wincing when the guy tugged his shirt again.

“I did. Nothing. Wrong. Let me go!”

“Mate this is beyond my control-“

“-I’m not your mate!”

Harrison blinked; just in time for the guy’s fist to come into connect with the lower left side of his jaw. He fell to the boiling sand like a sack of kiwi fruit (pardon the pun), grasping his cheek. He knew without feeling that his nose was bleeding, and he stood after a moment to see the guy had taken off. Innocent bystanders had been shoved, but a couple pointed in the direction the guy had gone. Harrison thanked them, taking off. His radio on his belt crackled, before Tommy’s voice sounded.

“Tommy to Harrison, me and Jesse are on our way but Harries can’t see you anymore; is everything good?”

Harrison panted, speaking into his radio as he dashed.

“Harrison to Tommy and Hoppo; the guy has taken off, I’ve still got an eye on him. Hop, make a citizen’s arrest?”

“Go for it Harrison, get him off the street if you can. The cops are nearby; I’ll let them know what’s going on. Have you got witnesses?”

“Yeah, uhhhh, half of the beach at least?”

Hoppo laughed, before he became serious.

“We can see you Harrison, we’ll be there soon.”

“I got him, go and cut him off on the street just in case I can’t get there in time.”

“Tommy to Harrison; I’ve gotcha mate.”

The radio clicked off and Harrison willed his overheated, exhausted body to keep going in pursuit of this guy, watching out for tourists who had no idea what Harrison was doing. His legs ached, his lungs burned, and all he could think about was hitting up the apartment complex pool with Maxi later. Harrison blinked, and all of a sudden his target was close enough. Another couple paces and he could get him. To one side he could see a cop motorbike and to the other one of the beach Can-Am’s, but that wasn’t important to him in the moment.

------------

The guy turned behind him and spotted Harrison, eyes widening. At just the right moment Harrison made a heroic leap, grabbing the guy by the hip and pulling him to the paved ground. They slid a metre, before stopping. When the offender made an attempt to get up Harrison pinned him to the ground, turning him on to his stomach and using his shirt as makeshift handcuffs that would work long enough for the cops to do the real deal.

“Harrison!”

With the ordeal over Harrison’s legs became wobbly when he tried to stand, and he promptly collapsed again. Hoppo and Tommy were there soon after, helping him up. An ambulance rolled up and Harrison looked between the two lifeguards in confusion, chest still heaving.

“I don’t- I don’t understand- why- I’m good, I swear…”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry. That was incredible Harrison, well done. Take tomorrow off, okay? I’ll drop your stuff at your place after work.”

Hoppo’s blue eyes radiated care and paternal warmth, something Harrison hadn’t felt since he left home to start lifeguarding. He only had Maxi and the boys on the beach, but with Hoppo there Harrison realised he felt safe. His eyes began to close from exhaustion, and Hoppo turned to the paramedics.

“I’m coming with him.”

  ------------

“Is there anyone who can take him home, someone he can stay with?”

“His uh- his partner’s at home, I’ll give them a call.”

The doctor nodded, checking Harrison’s vitals once more.

“Okay, I’ll have someone come in and stitch him up, then he should be okay to go home. If he starts vomiting or becomes disoriented bring him back in straight away.”

“No worries. Thanks, doc.”

The doctor left the room and Hoppo turned to Harrison, who was asleep in the bed. The side of his body that had slid on the paved ground when he caught the guy was gashed pretty badly, from his shoulder to his knee and down the offside of his foot. Luckily it seemed the excessive heat from the day’s soaring temperatures had cauterised most of the bleeding, but a couple of the wounds were large enough to need a couple stitches to aid with healing. He also had bruising around his right eye from where he’d been punched, the bruising a green-brown along his jawline. There was a gash on the other side where he’d bumped his head, but the doctor had cleared him of concussion so far.

Hoppo sighed; it was time to call Trent.

  ------------

“Hop, I haven’t heard from you in forever! What’s new mate?”

“You won’t want to have heard from me after this. I’m not sure if it’s on the news yet but Harrison did something incredible today that could potentially have saved quite a few girls from a creep on the beach. In the act of catching this guy, he copped a couple… battle scars.”

“Shit! Is he okay?”

Maxi’s voice deepened, conveying concern for Harrison.

“He needs stitches and he’s got a few bruises; he’ll be pretty sore and sorry for the next couple days but… he’s going to be okay. It was something from a movie Maxi; truly something I haven’t seen in ages.”

Maxi hummed; he could sense there was something else his boss wanted to tell him.

“The docs said he’ll be clear to go home once he’s had the stitches; I have to get back to work, but I was wondering if you could pick him up?”

“Yeah- yeah, yeah course. I’ll be there in a couple minutes, I have a day off; I’m not even on call at the station.”

“Thanks Maxi; he’ll be glad you’re there. He’s sleeping right now, but is there anything I can pass on to him for you?”

“No, no that’s cool. I’m just jumping in the car Hop; I’ll be there in a bit.”

“No worries Trent; take it easy and keep the aircon up high.”

Maxi laughed, and through the phone Hoppo heard him turn it up high.

“Gotcha Hop. See you soon.”

  ------------

Voices whispering in the room woke Harrison from his sleep and he groaned, his good arm going over his eyes as he tried to adjust to the bright lighting. The voices stopped abruptly, and then he felt someone sit on the bed beside him.

“I gotcha Hux, I gotcha. Take it easy.”

“T-Trent?”

Harrison tried to open his eyes to get a glance, but the harsh lights made his head hurt and he cried out, burying his head into Maxi’s side. Maxi sighed, running a hand through Harrison’s sun-bleached hair. The tips, usually brown like the rest, were now borderline platinum blonde from being at the beach a majority of the week. Maxi had to admit, it looked like Harrison had tried frosted tips.

“You’re okay, it’s just me and Hop. Deep breaths; focus on bringing air in then out.”

Harrison’s hand came up to grab Maxi’s, and they sat there for a moment while Harrison calmed down. Hoppo had found the light switch and dimmed it so Harrison wouldn’t be so badly affected, earning a grateful smile from Maxi. The eldest lifeguard left the room, closing the door behind him so Maxi and Harrison could have some time together.

  ------------

“Okay, I’ve signed the discharge papers so you’re good to go. Trent, you know when to bring him back?”

“Yeah doc, I gotcha. Thanks.”

With Maxi’s help, Harrison got off the hospital bed and stood, wincing.

“Okay yeah, I can’t wait for the pool.”

The doctor smiled, doing a final check over Harrison’s file.

“Looks like you’re good to go. If you have any questions, either of you, there’s a 24 hour clinic available on the Bondi Junction road.”

Maxi hummed, wrapping an arm carefully around Harrison’s gashed hip, giving his good one a nudge.

“We’ve got this, right Hux?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna be fine. Thanks for this doc, really appreciate it. The cameras will probably be here in half an hour or so.”

Harrison was clearly exhausted but he still had the twinkle in his eye that made Maxi smile, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“C’mon, let’s get going. You need the pool, a shower, and some aloe vera.”

Harrison nodded, using Maxi as leverage to walk.

  ------------

In the car Maxi kept his hand on Harrison’s thigh, making gentle circles as he drove. Harrison fell asleep pretty much the second he had his seatbelt on and slept all the way back to their apartment. Maxi went between checking him and keeping an eye on the road for the entire fifteen minutes, making sure Harrison wasn’t in any more pain than he already was. Just as he was pulling into the parking area Harrison groaned, shifting his head away from the bright outside to the darker inside. His eyes opened and he squeezed Maxi’s hand, Maxi glancing at him mid-park.

“You good?”

“Mm. Jus… tired. Can we skip the pool?”

“Course. How ‘bout the shower?”

Harrison nodded, eyes closing again. Maxi chuckled, turning off the car- yes; he could park and talk at the same time. He was just that talented. He grabbed everything the doctor had suggested from the passenger seat floor and rubbed Harrison’s shoulder, making sure he was awake.

“I left the aircon on for ya.”

“Thanks Trent.”

  ------------

With one arm around Maxi’s shoulders and the other carrying the pharmacy bag Harrison made his way into the elevator and through their door to the couch, pretty much collapsing straight away. Maxi disappeared into the kitchen and Harrison heard the clinking of ice hitting glass, before he reappeared with that glass full of ice and water.

“Doc says you need to keep drinking so you don’t get heatstroke. Keep it slow.”

Harrison sent Maxi a withering look as he took a sip before placing the glass on the coffee table. He sat up, pulling Maxi on to the couch beside him. He took his boyfriend’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I’m okay, y’know. We deal with assholes all the time.”

“I don’t know about you, but assholes don’t punch lifeguards just trying to do the right thing.”

“Maxi-“

“-Harrison, when Hoppo called me I was really scared you’d been really hurt. Just let me freak out for a second, since you’re not.”

Harrison fell quiet and Maxi doubled over, head in his hands. He sucked in a deep breath, releasing it after a couple of seconds before he straightened and pulled Harrison into his arms.

“Yeah; you scared me, but you’re okay. That’s what’s important.”

Harrison hummed, nuzzling against his boyfriend’s neck.

“I’m gonna be pretty busted up for a couple days; Hoppo gave me the rest of the week off to recover.”

“Awwww nooooo, poor Hutz,” Maxi teased, giving Harrison a fake pout. Before he could say anything, Harrison’s lips were on his, and he instinctively closed his eyes. Damn; even with a half busted lip and some face bruising, Harrison was still a good kisser. They pulled apart, and Maxi brushed his thumb over Harrison’s bruised cheek. He winced, and Maxi pulled him into a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay. Really glad.”

“I was scared for a second there; I didn’t know what was going to happen.”

Maxi glanced at Harrison who had moved to rest his head against his shoulder, the pair stretching out on the couch. Even though it was way, way too hot to do anything even remotely close to snuggling they still sat together on their couch that was probably too small for this, a mess of arms and legs and abs. Every time though, Maxi found Harrison on his lap and Harrison seemed to like that- for being someone willing to speak up when things go to shit, Harrison was quite the cuddler too. Maxi kissed the not-bruised side of his head, sighing.

“How about you get some sleep, and I’ll watch the cricket?”

“Mmm… tells me when we bat.”

Just like that Harrison was drifting off to sleep, one arm wrapped around his stomach while the other had found Maxi’s shorts to take hold.

“Thanks,” he murmured. Maxi glanced down with a smile, and then turned up the air conditioning. If Harrison was going to stay there, that aircon was going to work overtime.

[topicprinter]

Hey guys, I've built a Hackernews-inspired newsletter containing the top 10 articles relevant to founders that were on the HN front-page last week.Why HackerNews? Because it's one of the last places on the internet with meaningful discussion & quality topics. See for yourself below if you don't believe me. Btw, if you want to get this via email every week, go here.1. Patio11's Law: The software economy is bigger than you think (1022 votes)There’s a thrill in finding quiet companies, operating in the background, cashing checks. Software has exploded the number of these businesses. Ten people working remotely can make millions of dollars a year.Austen Allred shared how, when matching Lambda graduates to jobs, he’ll discover software companies he’s never heard of in Oklahoma pocketing $10m/year in profit. Doing things like “making actuarial software for funeral homes.”3It’s not surprising. Of the 3,000+ software companies acquired over the last three years, only 7% got TechCrunch, Recode, HN, or other mainstream tech coverage.4Also, markets like SAP, worth $163B. There is a term for these companies, they're called Hidden Champioons, and you can see a few of them on Wikipedia.Some other useful quotes:I’ve had four jobs in my life and have always been stunned by what is still done by hand. Every company had a task which could be heavily automated but was instead consuming 4-30 people. So if you think the software market is large, consider all the stuff software never reached.I applied for a job at a company in my city, and they told me their product was entirely API connectors for the local banks. In fact all of the companies I've worked for here have been making software for local industries! From solar installers, energy efficient lighting manufacturers, local commerce and POS systems, mechanics software, creative market places, local lead generation.Oh yes, there are tons of giants creating software for health applications you never heard of, defense purposes you cannot hear about, logistic you would never consider (managing competitions, port services, private jet traffic, truck fleets...) and so on. I should know, I make half of my income going from company to company to train their team. They are everywhere. They make billions.Don’t require a user to be interested twice: lessons on reducing signup friction (390 votes)Long story short: A guy made a SaaS prototype and he got a few users by posting on forums. Thing is, his "flow" was to get them to "sign up" to the waitlist and then he manually sent them an invite hours or days later.His success increased when he changed the flow so people get an automatic email to register immediately after they sign up.Kind of obvious, but there's an important principle here:Don't require a user to be motivated twice. Instead, make use and ride of the motivation wide when they sign up. This is pretty obvious if you read BJ Fogg material.Some useful notes from HN comments on users:Treat signups as a leading indicator of success, not the ultimate goal.Asking for an email up front is already too much. Let the user use your service, they'll create some "content" or "configuration" in it. Once they do that, they'll want to preserve / persist it, and then you can ask for an email address. They're much more likely to give you a real email address and validate it, because they're already invested.I'm convinced one of the reasons Zoom is so successful (besides being a great product) is that there is no sign up required at all. Someone invites you to a conference and you just click the link, enter your name and go.Ask HN: What is the best way to target restaurants and small businesses? (28 votes)I really like these threads where you have very bright minds giving advice for a common pain point. Here are some amazing answers:Almost every brick and mortar company’s website includes a phone number. Call 5 of them and order a meal, when you pick it up ask to talk to the manager for a minute. Elevator pitch: you’ve got 5-10 seconds to get them to ask for more time. “When I was ordering food I noticed that I couldn’t prepay online, I almost thought of going somewhere else, how come you don’t have a way to pay before coming in?” “Don’t know how to do that”. “I built a plugin that takes 5-10 mins to set up and people can pay while they order so I don’t have to come inside, can we do a Skype call when you’re not busy to walk through this?”. Once you’ve gotten a handful of trials like this you can start calling but your options with restaurants(especially mom and pop) are to walk in the door or get to them directly on the phone.or this:You can also try to target other companies thay already have large restaurant customer bases, but then you become a SKU in their offerings. It may be more about lead genertion than anything else.​OnlyFans, influencers, and the politics of selling nudes during a pandemic (133 votes)While sites like AirBnb have huge loses, OnlyFans grew 75% during last month. It was launched as a result of platforms like Instagram shutting out adult entertainment workers.I wonder if there is any way to integrate into this platform as a developer and "ride" on its growth :D​The coming disruption of colleges and universities (82 votes)Scott Galloway is a man who predicted a lot of things. He predicted Amazon’s $13.7 billion purchase of Whole Foods a month before it was announced. Last year, he called WeWork on its “seriously loco” $47 billion valuation a month before the company’s IPO imploded.Now, he predicts something happening with universities. . The post-pandemic future, he says, will entail partnerships between the largest tech companies in the world and elite universities. [MIT@Google](mailto:MIT@Google). iStanford. HarvardxFacebook. According to Galloway, these partnerships will allow universities to expand enrollment dramatically by offering hybrid online-offline degrees.How will this disrupt education? Well thousands of brick-and-mortar universties will go out of business.At the same time, more people than ever will have access to a solid education, albeit one that is delivered mostly over the internet.If this is true, it may open a lot of opportunities for makers in the edu space.​Ask HN: Mind bending books to read and never be the same as before?Here are some recommendation for "brain expanding" books:"Rework", "Getting Real", the other books by the old 37signals crew, and of course "The Lean Startup" really changed the way I thought about software development and business. I credit them for much of my startup/programming success.Taleb's Incerto series changed how I thought about investing, risk, and life in general. "Fooled by Randomness" and "Antifragile" are especially good."Basic Economics: A Citizen's Guide to the Economy" by Thomas Sowell. I read this as a teenager with only limited exposure to economics and it cleared up many misconceptions I held."Alchemy: The Dark Art and Curious Science of Creating Magic in Brands, Business, and Life" by Rory Sutherland. Explains why we choose brands over cheaper alternatives, why we're willing to pay a lot more to lock in a deal, why we hate registering before buying the thing (but are more than happy to do so right after), why Sony removed the record button from the first Walkman, and much more.Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. This book makes every bit of life advice you receive afterwards feel shallow. It feels like a reference to western thought.​Scraping Recipe Websites (461 votes)Do you do scraping as part of your job? Then you may want to read this how this site scrapes 99% of recipe website using a logical template.An interesting thing they mention is the concept of LCA (lowest common ancestor) and how they use it to identify part of the HTML most likely to contain all of the ingredients/instructions​My blog is now generated by Google Docs (398 votes)Over and over and over again, I see businesses succeeding just because they tap into people existing habits.Most people are familiar with typing in Google Docs. If you can make a tool where they just press a button and 'voila', it turns it itno a blog post, they're way more likely to use you vs. someone who creates a separate interface (see BJ Fogg and his behavioral design theory).US video game sales have record quarter as consumers stay at home (376 votes)Video game sales are at historic hights. Traffic on gaming-related services like Discord, Twitch, Mixer, and others have hit historic highsThe current crisis probably accelerated video games adoption by 10 years.Ask HN: How to stop anxiety from too many choices? (286 votes)The best advice I've seen here is:Stop shopping start doing. All these decisions I call shopping, where you do a lot of research but never commit. At some point you have to start working on something.Have an ideas journal. Write new ideas down there, and don't start with any of them in less than two weeks. This lets you get over the initial enthusiasm - and perhaps new better ideas will push less useful ones out of the way in that time. If something stays at the top of your list for weeks, then perhaps it is useful.My advice is to lower the value of ideas. A lot of time people think, "If only I had a good idea I would be successful". You will see other people saying things like, "Buy my good idea!". But really, good ideas are a dime a dozen. Good ideas, bad ideas... it actually doesn't make much difference. What makes the difference is execution and timing.To be successful, really what you need is execution and to have the patience to wait until what you are doing is relevant. Of course there is the fear that it will never be relevant. However, if you accept the thesis that the good idea is not valuable in itself, then you realise that it is not really valuable to pivot without a really good reason. A good idea that is never relevant is just as worthless as a bad idea that is never relevant. However, even a bad idea that is executed very well and ready when the opportunity arises can be successful.see the first step, the very next step, and that's it. You don't need to know what step 2,748 is about let alone how to solve it to take the next door. (formally: no premature optimization).Make a decision, and stick to it. In other words, be quick to decide but slow to change. The trick in life is not to "do what you love" (or make the decisions you think are right: spoiler, you'll be wrong 50% of the time). The trick is to "love what you do"I have similar problems sometimes- and remind myself the power of "good enough". Striving for "the best" will often leave you unsatisfied. So instead of thinking "which is better?" think "is this one good enough?"If you want to get this via email every week, see http://founderweeklys.com/