#i could have done a much better job
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sorry but "a rock strapped into the cockpit with a helmet painted on would have been a clear step on Sergio" is unironically the best counter I've heard to the "Daniel wouldn't have been an improvement on Perez" bs being peddled and genuinely made me laugh 😂💀😂
#but like yeah my obvious preference for that seat was daniel#but also there came a point this season where I truly believe just about anyone else on the grid would have done a better job#hell probably marko could have done a better job and wouldn't have caused so much damage (except to horner's ego lol)
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Bruce Springsteen's third album BORN TO RUN as Penguin Classics (inspo): Odilon Redon / Romere Bearden / Max Regot Selling Company / Lewis Hine / Ulpiano Checa / Edgar Degas / Thomas Cole / El Greco
#bruce springsteen#born to run#music edits#i might do some more of his albums if i get the chance this was a fun way to waste time on zoom meetings!#most of these pieces are from the met online gallery#the romere bearden and the el greco are fragments of much larger pieces#i know technically photography isn't really done on penguins classics covers#but those newsboys smoking was just too good#tbh im probably gonna wake up tomorrow and be like damn i could have done a way better job on this... but oh well! send post!#bruce springsteen penguin classics#<- gonna make it a series! send album requests 😘
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I call this "Biblically Accurate Poseable Rainbow Dash"!
This is what she looked like before: x
I got her thrifting for like $8, and then cut off all her damaged rooted hair, and then installed some monster high joints in her wing holes and tail holes, then I sculpted her hair and painted everything :)
I also resculpted her face and thighs a bit, I was trying to make her pretty accurate to the show, I think I did pretty good!
#art#my art#cherrykaboart#my little pony#my little pony custom#mlp#rainbow dash#mlp ooak#custom figure#3D art#rainbow#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp fim#I think I could have done better with smoothing out the paint job#hopefully I can get an airbrush soon so they will look much better !#but I think it's ok for now : )#my little dashie ❤️❤️❤️
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I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the urge to do the same thing I did with the oitd silhouettes, aka slap text posts onto the art with no knowledge of their canon personality other than what they did in the trailer and pulling from the fandom's perceived personality for them, for the new oxventure characters revealed in that trailer is so real
#and there was only reactions in the trailer#willowfine seems sweet and nice#robin kinda gives off pathetic boyfail to me (in a similar way to dob's pathetic boyfail energy) while also hiding something#lug's character art makes me think he's kinda cautious fsr#but Mike just smiling in the trailer makes me think he's pretty happy-go-lucky like Egbert#tho that could just be him talking with the team about a silly thing he's doing or during his character introduction in the actual episode#I have a similar situation with cressida#cressida's character art seems kinda annoyed and thinks she's above people like Prudence did#however Ellen seems scared or at least shocked or worried so cressida might actually be caring and kind like Ellen's other characters#then we have our new resident goth: happen#I kinda get the vibe that he's a more silent character that gets the job done quickly#like ice bear#but also maybe struggles with emotional connections#even if I'm wrong in my vibe guessing I'm sure I'll like them#I'm already slapping aroace headcanons on some of them#them being happen lug and willowfine#maybe cressida too#actually if I think too much about it I'm just gonna slap aroace headcanons on all of them#so they're all aroace unless I'm proven otherwise aka if I think another headcanon fits better#not a text post#this was gonna be a delete later but a lot of my thoughts are in the tags now#oxventure
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why did agatha tell lilia the truth about her only being able to steal powers if she’s blasted first if her entire plan was to get them to blast her so she could steal their powers??
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#the more i think about these episodes the more it’s just like… why?#all the components were there for a really amazing ending but it’s just not and that’s so annoying#fucking marvel#and i want to make it clear that my issue isn’t about agatha x rio#because so many people are making it just only about that and so many others are dismissing anyone else’s low opinions on the ending cause#they think they’re only upset about that as well#but like no! there were actual issues#some of them Do have to do with agatha x rio but not all or even most of them do#like episode 6 had people complaining because of agatha x rio despite how well-executed/written it was#but that’s not what’s happening this time?? (okay for some people it is but not anywhere near all of them because there were glaring issues#in these last two eps)#like I don’t think a backstory or anything was actually necessary. I think they could have kept the same amount of agatha x rio scenes and#even kept them the same length and still been able to pull off something so much more satisfying instead of what they gave us#I think that about so much of these episodes too#like they could have done so much better with what time they were given and made everything so much more impactful and meaningful but#instead soooo much of it just feels so lackluster and husk-like#like the body’s there but there’s no soul to it#which honestly is par the course for marvel but this show had done such a good job of distancing itself from them and being its own thing#that I really thought it could be more#idk. I’m just disappointed ig#txt
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💧
#magical girl oc#mahou shoujo#original character#☆ specific tags:#tsts#the skies that shimmer#n3#im going to be completely honest. i feel i could have done a MUCH better job#but the comic pages arent going to color themselves#and i cant afford to spend another three hours on the rendering so
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im only saying it here bc i have a wider audience and the dash is really active rn but seriously. if you can vote, go vote. no "i dont like him" or "he isnt good enough" we cannot afford to be picky. there isn't enough time left to be picky. look at trump and think about how much you dont want him in office and how much you would rather have mediocre democratic appointees instead of hard-working extremist far-right ones. think about how much we have lost because of them. everything will be red if he wins
vote, not to put biden in office, but to keep trump out of it
#only serious political post i will make on here unless shit actually hits the fan next year#if i convince even a single person to go vote then i've done my job#it is NOT hopeless dont fucking fall for it#they're scared. the reason you hear all the negative things about biden 24/7 is because they are scared#they know we see right through them now#the reason they want to limit young people on social media. the reason they want tiktok gone. all of it. they're fucking terrified#but we have to actually. ya know. do something about it#standing around and complaining about how much better it could be will not make it any better
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#god my life is so fucking over im stuck and no matter how much i fight i cant get out#i gave up and even that is fucking exhausting. i live in fear every fucking day#i have no calm moments. i cant be at ease. i cant enjoy a moment. because it gets bad . and then worse#it always does i never have one decent thing happen to me before another horrible shitshow crashes down on me right after#im fully alone i cant speak to anyone about it literally nobody gives a fuck im going insane and im actually nuts#i send a perfect fucking cv with a cover letter and im literally all theyre looking for and i get not even a fucking “kys we dont want you”#radio fucking silence from every fucking place ever. all i want is to LEAVE THIS FUCKING JOB#literally nothing else matters at this point just let me the fuck out#every single day every single hour something is wrong something is fucked i fucked it up or someone else did and i get blamed#im vulnerable and kickable is that it. im a fucking wet blanket that you can spit on as you please and have a power trip is that it#i spent all my fucking life having empathy for people who dont fucking deserve it. doing things for people who wouldnt do the same for me#sacrificing myself and my own wellbeing for a fuckwad who doesnt even care if i live or die#and every single day i wake up and cant change it. i go work the most hours for the least money possible#and i get kicked for it. i get shit on. i get mistreated. and every once in a while some kind of MAJOR BULLSHIT happens#and every time im the one that gets blamed and degraded for it. mind you i didnt fucking do anything#ive done nothing but my best ive given and sacrificed myself senselessly because im the fucking idiot for not leaving when i coulf#and when i say i want to resign i get everyone suddenly go “no you cant#you must make money. you must keep suffering. you must keep getting degraded. we do not care if youre uncomfortable and suicidal#we dont care if its killing you because we cant see it. we can fully ignore your suffering because its not visible!#ive gone past the fucking breaking point. i always think it cant get lower but it does. every time im astonished to see it does get even .#fucking. WORSE. every time. no exceptions.#i cant ask for help noone can help i cant even help myself anymore. i cant cope. i cant mask at work anymore. and yet i feel guilt#guilty that im a worthless nobody whose only positive purpose in life is to be everybodys fucking doormat so they can get off#on being shit and horrible to me#im haunted by the same fucking nightmares of one fucking person because they made me feel loved briefly for about a month or two#that was my only time i felt maybe i could get better. and then they fucking left me and now im lower and getting lower with every day#i dont know how long ive got left. im not sure i care anymore. not keeping on living for a hpyerfixation or a hobby anymore.#none of it brings me joy anymore. not even the slightest bit of comfort. everything stings and hurts and im shriveled up and empty#am i the only person who thinks of other people ?? am i the only person in the world whos never thought of#teach me how to not care for others. teach me how to be a slefish piece of shit. the type that thrives in this godforsaken hellhole world
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officially at the point in the semester where im crying over assignments
#it's not even necessarily the assignments themselves atp it's the fact that we have to do peer reviews and show in class#and i already know mine looks like shit bc everyone else seems to think a draft needs to be the finished product#so mine is actually a draft and looks like shit in comparison#ik i shouldn't care bc i barely want to even finish this degree#but I've always done this with art and honestly it's making me feel like im not doing enough#because we all have the same amount of time and same instructions#but some of my classmates either don't have jobs or work significantly less hours than i do#which means they have more time and energy and that means they make it look like 'oh well how come You couldn't do that much'#like im sorry but i have a full time job and an apartment to pay for step off#and it's not like anyones saying it directly but like every time my work comes up i get the most mild uninterested responses#i don't like feeling inadequate when i know if i had the time and the energy and could focus on anything to save my life it would be better#i just want to graduate and be done with it atp#i can't even remember half the tools I've learned i probably won't be able to get a job in this anyway#maybe once i get a bit more caught up I'll feel better#i just feel like im not doing the assignments right bc they aren't good enough#it doesn't help that I don't really have friends at school anymore so I've got no outside motivation to care about going#tbf this week I'm not going until thursday when i have to bc the teacher has been exposed to the flu and I don't want to catch it
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if im bein real i am so deeply frustrated with my art every single thing i draw looks and feels wrong everythings worse than i envision it feels like i cant seriously improve anymore i cant decide on a style i like doing i cant find a brush that does what i want i have no creativity or self expression i only feel remotely skilled when im using an exact reference and even if im satisfied with a finished product its still not good enough and feels like i will never be good enough to be successful and why is instagram full of teenagers that are better than me and how fucking good would i be now if high school me didnt slow down drawing and university me didnt almost completely stop drawing. so anyways
#im sooooo. i cant even process how deeply pissed off i am constantly#NOTHINGS RIGHT NOTHING FITS NOTHING WORKS DUDE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE#ik im just. havign growing pains. been having growing pains for years but theres no way ive hit my ceiling at age 23#ik i just need to keep practicing and i have some bad habits that r making me stuck and i just gotta. study more work harder practice more#i know i KNOW ive just got a boulder sized roadblock and there has to be a way to get past it but I CANT FIGURE IT OUT#ik my weaknesses but even when i try to fix them i still do them#i dont draw guidelines so things turn out wonky and the volume and perspective of 3d forms is always wrong#i wish i could go more cartoony so i didnt need to do so much but i Know things beinf detailed n realistically proportioned is more my style#but also if i go to realistic then everythings fucking boring#but i havent done non realistic shit in years and i have no style so im just fumbling around#GOD IM JUST SO FUCKING OVER IT DUDE#and social media makes it worse i feel like how my art performs online is gaslighting me and i cant trust my instincts anymore#like if i think i like how smth turned out. and then i post it and its crickets everywhere im like. Am i crazy do i actually suck#is this really bad and i have no idea. WHAT THE FUCK#and ik letting external validation get to me like that is bad but im just like. none of this would be so fucking difficult if i was better#esp now that ive quit my job i sure would love to ignore numbers but i gotta grow and get better to get commissions i dont got a CHOICE#and also i just constantly see art thats better than mine and its confusing yk#i feel like. i need to stay offline for like a week#predownload some work from some artists i like as a few concrete inspirations. study anatomy books. work without anybody watchcing me#or me watching anyone else#yk#but also i have no life if im offline for a week that means i get like no social interaction besides my parents for a week#I DONT FUCKING KNOW#IM SO FRUSTRATED#i feel like im constantly complaining but its constantly bottling up like shook pop#x
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“It’ll take you ten minutes.” *two hours later*
#ra speaks#personal#tell me my dad doesn’t have a concept of the linear nature of time without telling me my dad doesn’t have a concept of the linear nature-#sure it might take YOU. who have been doing it for 50 years. ten minutes to plow the driveway w the skid steer#it takes ME. who has never plowed the driveway before and has driven the skid steer a total of two (2) times. all morning.#I’m also pissed bc he’s been sick and is still sick and at least if he stayed home we could make sure he didn’t do anything stupid but noooo#he’s So Much Better he’s going to Work instead :/#I wanted to get work done I haven’t had breakfast I need to do my mmm post but nooooo I’m doing the job he should have stayed home and taken#‘ten minutes’ to do for my whole fucking morning.
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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just reflecting today on the 7th poured drink tonight and recalling how when i was venting to my co-workers about yesterday and the panic attack i had and all that, she mentioned how I needed more help when I was drowning and i swear to you the immediate thing that came to mind when she said that was alan wake
#i haven't really made many drowning gifs have i#also i feel bad cause like. god#this is so stupid and convoluted and part of the guilt i'm carrying right now#our customer service department ended up being the straw that broke my back and made me have that panic attack/meltdown yesterday#and i try#i TRY SO HARD to have some empathy towards them cause i mean#they're the ones getting basically abused by our customers#and it hurts so much to me that i can't be more help#and specifically the situation yesterday was me having to jump in and finish something that idk took me all of ten minutes to do#after i asked for some forklift assistance that took maybe like half an hour#but i had asked my employees to get that done *last week* and they couldn't do it#and the poor customer service rep had to escalate it to the director of sales which she flaunted in myf ace#and i felt terrible when i snapped and said 'ok i'll drop everything i'm doing to help you'#when i did legit have a million other things i needed to do#i'm honest to god tempted to rate myself as unsuccessful this year just cause like#i've been having to do my own employee's jobs which is also my fault for maybe not being firm like i need to be#but anyway her saying how i was drowning of course made me think of alan which honestly made me feel a little better#cause i mean it's like nick right#if alan could get out of the dark place even though it took him 13 years maybe i can too#and also inspiring in the way that like. alan needed help and i probably need help too#i've gone to therapy twice once in person and once online and like nick it's just...#not my thing#but something both therapists seemed to concur upon was that my support system isn't the best and i also need to work on myself#and love myself and lmao that's soooooo much easier said than done#but anyway i'm sorry i should get a real diary or somethin but#something about the formatting of tagging like this is weirdly comforting
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medical websites love to be like “how to stop having physical stress symptoms: 1. be in less stressful situations 2. don’t be stressed”
#oliver.mp3#girl for one i have anxiety for two stressful things continue to happen#sorry but taking deep breaths and going for walks will not fix my moms broken leg or get me another job#or get me back the $6000 i just spent on my cat’s er vet bill#meditation doesn’t pay the rent#i still haven’t done anything creative since the year started pretty much#bc i feel like i shouldn’t be focusing on anything but how to fix my situation#time spent drawing is time i could be spending applying for jobs. why would i spend time writing when it’s not making me money#i’m sick of living like this like truly it has been the last whole fucking year and it just keeps getting worse#what did i do to deserve this like truly why me#why do these events feel so specifically calculated and timed to drain our bank accounts and stress me out further#i think abt that phrase it has to get worse before it gets better. so every time something happens i’m like ok it’s gonna get better now#but somehow it continues to get worse#i feel like i’m watching my entire life crumble away right before my eyes everything me and my mom have worked for is just dwindling#and i’m only fucking 20
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my boss sending me this 5 minutes before my timed test for another job
#thank u boss 👍🏻#ngl the test wasn't easy!#mainly bc of the time it was a squeeze#I barely had time to re-read my translation :(#which was annoying bc I could have done a much better job with a bit more time#but oh well. hopefully it was still good#*
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I'm gonna be Completely honest and this is Not a dig at anyone who did like it btw but. Death Island. Kinda sucked in my opinion.
#i had fun watching with claire and ethan cause i always do with them#and i have enjoyed what we could pull from it for au stuff#but like. as far as The Actual Execution of the concepts of this movie#they did a piss poor job#the animation felt WORSE than vendetta and vendetta was SIX YEARS AGO. WHY#voicd acting was off#dylan sucked as a villain in my opinion#and just!! they could have done so much more with the girls and just with Everyone as a team specifically but they Dont and it Feels Bad!!#maybe its jsut because im not resident evil pilled rn or something but i love damnation and vendetta Way better than this one#but fr tho justice for all the girls cause both capcom AND the fandom is shit to them#me talking#death island
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