#i could be worse i know i don't have it worse than many people

[heartmix]

My Girls - MV1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x singlemom!reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warning: poking fun at max, dad!max, no use of y/n but daughters name is Aria

A/N: dad max content. I have a part 2 in mind so that will be coming soon

F1 Masterlist / Masterlist

"Can I ask you a question, it's totally okay if you say no."

"What is it?"

"When do you think I'll be able to meet her?" the question caught you off guard. 

You knew what he was asking, he was asking when he'd be able to meet your daughter. Being a young single mom was not in the books for you. With her father leaving before she was even born you quickly tossed out the idea of finding a relationship. Sure, there have been many instances where people dated single parents, but since you had her when you were young, the idea did seem impossible. You've been preparing for the moment for months, but it still caught you off guard. Coming up on a year of being together it was bound to happen. 

Noticing your silence he quickly tried to defuse the tension, "I mean it's totally up to you. I don't mean to rush you or anything, I want to let you know that I'm committed to you and I'm not going anywhere. I want to be there for both of you."

"Sure." 

"Sure?" He clarified, a smile spreading across his face quickly, one you matched instantly. A simple nod was all he needed to take you into his arms and give you the most bone-crushing hug. Seeing him make a big deal settled all your nerves.

Max's hand was shaking way too much to be meeting a 2-year-old. From the stories you told about the little one, he saw that she was friendly and was willing to meet new people so the fact that he was shaking so much was comical. He's had meetings with some of the richest people in the world and met world leaders, hell people would have this reaction meeting him and he would laugh it off saying he was just a normal person. So why was this little one making him more nervous than a race day? 

It had to do with the fact that she was yours—the light of your life and the only person in your life you prioritized. The more he thought about it, the more that person became you to him, and this was just the final step to make everything feel real. If the little girl didn't like you, he knew you wouldn't hesitate to break it off, and he couldn't blame you.

With one final head shake to try and get rid of the nervousness he knocked on the front door. Did he knock too hard that he startled the little one? Should he have knocked? Maybe he should have texted you he was outside. It's been months since he knocked on your door, having his own key to the place. Before he could think of any other ridiculous thoughts the door opened the reveal you, standing in all your glory with that welcoming gorgeous smile he fell in love with. 

"I can't believe meeting my kid got you out of wearing a Red Bull kit. I can't even get you to do that." Your teasing tone snapped him out of the trance. Max couldn't help but laugh at that being your comment in a situation like this. 

"It's just a black shirt schatje. I can hardly say I dressed up." he glanced looking down at his black shirt and some jeans. He would be lying if he said he didn't think about what to wear today. 

"Oh please, Max Verstappen outside of anything Red Bull is dressing up." 

"You're not helping." he groaned seeing as you were enjoying every minute of this. He was going to get payback, if everything went okay after all.

"Why are you so nervous?"

"How are you not?" He asked not seeing any concerning features. He expected you to be more worried and in a worse state than him actually.

"Because I know you, I know how great you are, and that my baby will love you." You smiled while wrapping your arms around his neck, Max immediately circling his around your waist. Maybe if you weren't worried he shouldn't be either. "Come on, she's expecting you." Grabbing his hand and pulling him further into the house.

Before he rounded the corner to the living room he heard the sound of what to be a Disney song playing on the speakers and toys clashing with one another. He's been to your house enough times to know how much toys littered the living room. When the living room came into view he saw the little girl sitting on the ground surrounded by blocks and little toys he didn't recognize. 

"Aria, baby. I want you to meet Mommy's friend. This is max. Can you say hi?" Max didn't leave your side as you leaned down to grab the girl's attention. Her eyes immediately locked onto his the second she recognized there was a stranger in her house.

"Hi!" She beamed up at the tall Dutchman with the biggest smile on her face. Seeing that smile every last bit of nerves washed away. Just like seeing your smile for the first time, he knew he was screwed in the best way possible. 

"Hi, Aria. Lovely to meet you."

"Can Max spend the day with us?" you then asked although, with one look at the smirk on your face, he knew the answer. 

"Play with me?" In the cutest voice Max ever heard, he wasted no time sitting next to the girl who held a stuffed cat up to his face.

"Of course. I would love to!"

"Baby, why don't you show Max your cars."

"My cars!" She excitedly said before running to her room to retrieve her cars. Not a second later she came back with a bag filled with a few cars. Max was expecting Hot Wheels or toys from the cars movie, in no way was he prepared for the girl to pull out a replica of his car. 

"Do you know the cars we watch every week? That's Max and that's his car." You pointed out watching the girl's face turn into shock. 

"You 1?" Turning to Max who held the same shock expression as hers.

"I am. You like cars?" At this, she let out a little squeal and pushed the car into his hand. 

One by one she pulled out every car she had even the names she gave each of them. Max was 1, the McLarens were orange, and more specifically Lando was 4. The Ferraris were horsey and the one Mercedes car being Lewis of course was pretty due to the fact that she could only point out Lewis out of his racing gear. 

By the end of the day, Aria was all tired out. After all day playing with Max and telling stories at dinner, she passed out beside Max on the couch while watching cars. Your choice of movie just to poke fun at Max more. Taking her to bed you saw that Max pulled out wine from the fridge and handed you a glass before settling on the couch. The stark contrast from the noise-filled day to the quietness of just you two was a reality check for Max. He made it through and from the way you were cuddled up into his side, he knew that he was right where he needed to be. 

"Thank you. For being so good with her, she loved you so much, probably just as much as me. You made her day and she is going to be excited to see you in the morning."

"You don't need to thank me for anything. I should be thanking you for letting me into the biggest part of your life. You are doing such a wonderful job with her, you're an amazing mother." At his confession, you couldn't help but feel tears brim your eyes.

"I'm sorry, silly thing to get emotional about but that means a lot. I'm just happy you accept me and her with everything we have going on." Before your hands could wipe the tears streaming down your cheek his hands wiped them away. 

"I meant it when I said I'm with you through everything. I wouldn't change anything about you or her. I want you to know I love you both and I'm not going anywhere."

"You're such a freaking sap Max Verstappen. If your fans could see you now." You teased making him chuckle. 

"The duality of you to turn a heartfelt moment into teasing me." 

"You signed up for it when you agreed to date me."  

"And I wouldn't have it any other way." He smiled as he pulled you in for a kiss. 

[fatliberation]

Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

i don't think "war crimes are fictional my annoyance is real" is the point when it comes to thingol hate. it's fairly rare that i see stances on thingol that are "i dislike/hate him because he acts like a jerk at times and that reminds me of unpleasant irritating individuals i know irl." and when i do see that, it's like, fair enough, he can be an asshole when he wants to be. his method of telling beren to fuck off was extreme and it was petty; he could have just said "absolutely not, get out." and he absolutely is a smothering overprotective father sometimes, who very much chose to lock his daughter up. no matter if he believed he was doing it for her safety, imprisoning her is an inexcusable violation of her autonomy.

but here's the thing: i don't see that many people who hate on thingol doing so for "the war crimes are fictional, my annoyance is real" reasons. if they did that they would call him out for things he actually does in canon, for being an unpleasant dick at times and a helicopter parent -- while still knowing that from an objective moral standpoint, those things do not make him as vile as mass murderers, attempted rapists, evil overlords, and all the other types of villains you can find in the silm. but that's not what i see from most thingol hate. what i see from most thingol hate is, on the contrary, based in things that canon makes no indication of, and said things are used to make him look like a worse person, morally speaking, than he is canonically. "he's racist against the noldor," "he turned refugees away," "he was a xenophobic isolationist through and through who never let anyone into doriath," "aredhel's situation with eol is his fault," "he would have disowned luthien if she had just eloped with beren without coming to him first," "he would have let celegorm marry luthien against her will," "he owed the union of maedhros his allegiance and unreasonably abandoned the noldor by not sending forces to help," "the feanorians made every effort to be diplomatic and humble to him but he's a bigot so he snubbed them at every turn which led to them resorting to violence," etc. etc. etc. -- all in all blaming him for every last thing that ever went sour in the first age. making up lies about how a character did x and y bad action as a reason for why you dislike them isn't "the war crimes are fictional, my annoyance is real," it's "i already hate this character and i want to justify my hate." i understand disliking characters because their unpleasant behavior is more mundane, so to speak, and therefore hits closer to home -- i do it too -- but from what i've seen? that is not fandom's attitude towards thingol. fandom's attitude towards thingol is accusing him of things that he literally never does to make him far more villainous that he is in the source material

[thunderlina]

Words cannot express how much I utterly despise Fem Scout. Like not as a concept, genderswapping the mercs is fine, hell I don't really even mind people being horny about her, but god the popular Fem Scout models are ugly. Her proportions don't make any sense, especially in the game's art style. Compare her to Miss Pauling or Scout's Ma and she looks so out of place.

Just look at those proportions... her torso is stupidly massive compared to her arms and her head looks way too small.

And more often than not her face doesn't even look finished. It's so flat and plasticky looking compared to the official models which have more detailed shading in their face textures

And I think the real kicker is that, for a character who's supposed to be a female version of Scout... she doesn't even look like him at all! Scout's got such a distinct nose shape that's just completely thrown out in favor of a generic thin pointy nose. And don't tell me "oh it was just made smaller to feminize it" because SCOUT'S MA HAS THE SAME NOSE not just in fan models but in canon art too!

It's not even just Scout either really, a majority of the popular fem merc models have the same issues.

The fact that they consistently remove their male counterparts hooked noses too is a crime

Also I don't even know where to begin with Fem Sniper but she's honestly even worse than Fem Scout like what even is this because that sure as hell isn't Sniper bro 😭

I guess it just boggles my mind that there are so many gorgeous fan made models of TF2 characters out there and yet somehow, after 17 years, no one has come out with new fem merc models that actually look good.

I did try my hand at making my own FemScout a while back, just by editing Scout's original model. Her face is a little wonky but I'm mostly pretty happy with how she came out. I'd put her on the SFM workshop if I knew how to export Source models.

I just really wish we as a fandom could move past those garbage models already honestly there's no reason they should have stuck around as long as they have 😭

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Cia's Wonderful Day Out, part 2

Part 1

Ciaran swung his coat on, reattached his watch, and opened his umbrella as he stepped into the brisk autumn. Even with his coverings and face paint, the setting sun stung his skin. He set a brisk pace down the street, unwilling to waste any more of his day.

Mr Na would not be happy that he missed his shift, of course, but he would understand. Someone, likely Jill, would have recorded down that episode, or at least written down the recipe. What he needed now was a good, strong drink and some blood to wash it down.

So he went to The Bar. There were many bars in Luxatia— for the city of light needed its shadows —but only one would scratch that itch. Home turf of the vampires and Fae. The Bar. It was just what he needed to unwind after a long week.

Unfortunately for Ciaran, this was just not his day. In fact, it was not his day, week, or year. That honour belonged to a young man who had just finished his foolproof illusory spell and made a great deal of money off it. 

Right at the center of the bar, chattering excitedly, was his nemesis. Or the person who would have been his nemesis if he had one. Shorter than him by several heads, bouncing up and down on her seat, beaming like a miniature sun, was Hash. Sitting in his spot, as usual. 

“Get out of my seat,” he growled. “I've had a bad day and you're about to make it worse.”

Hash looked at him with wide, sad eyes. “Oh dear,” she said. “Ya alright, darlin'? What happened?” Hopping off her seat, she gestured for the bartender to come over.

“One shot of spirit mead, Anise,” Ciaran told him. “The strongest you've got. And please, just go away, Hash. I'm not in the mood for your antics right now.”

“Alrigh',” she said dubiously. “I'll go get Davie, shall I? He'll cheer ya right up. See you ‘round, Cia.”

“Stop calling me Cia,” he replied, but she was already gone. 

“Damned shifters,” he grumbled to nobody in particular. “Sit in your seat, piss all over your bathroom, set fire to your apartment. What's next: gonna find that bitch fucking my wife? Not that I have one anymore. And that's thanks to her too.”

Anise slid over a drink. “You should cut Hash a break. I don't know what happened ‘tween you, but he's a good sort.”

“He's a fucking bitch, is what he is. Everyone acts like he's such a fucking sweetheart, but-” Ciaran shook his head and down a drink. “There's fewer people than there usually are. Exorcists combed the place again?”

Anise's mandibles twitched. They rubbed their lower arms together. “You could say that, yeah. But it was more one really, really drunk exorcist.”

“Oh god. What did they do?”

“She. And she managed to get shitfaced, pick a fight, and give some poor sap the worst beating of his life.” Shaking their head, they held up the bottle of mead. “Some more, Ciaran? It does the soul good. You looked like hell walking into this place.”

“You only say it does the soul good because that's the most expensive stuff on the menu,” he replied, handing over his empty cup nonetheless. “And yes, I felt like hell. Idiot exorcists decided to pin the blame for some bank robbery on me.”

Tagging: @coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr,

@possiblyeldritch @tragedycoded, @finickyfelix, @urnumber1star, @ratedn,

@ramwritblr @vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west,

@differentnighttale @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms,

@abiteofhoney @drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments

@unrepentantcheeseaddict, @the-inkwell-variable, @paeliae-occasionally, @an-indecisive-nerd, @thecomfywriter

@seastarblue, @wyked-ao3, @bookwormclover, @oliolioxenfreewrites, @aalinaaaaaa

@the-letterbox-archives, @gioiaalbanoart (Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[getsuuna]

real, and let me make this even worse by adding a little something :D

in the Light Novel, Masachika has NEVER asked him about Kanae, never teased him about Kanae, never asked him anything about Kanae😭😭 that one illustration was taken soooo out of context and it can have many possibilities and none of them is inherently romantic

friendly little reminder for the Fandom that Sanemi blushed once because of Masachika.

he got out of the mansion after getting treatment by Kanae (and after actively comparing her touch to his mother's...to which he luckily did NOT blush btw) and he saw Masachika there waiting for him, and he suddenly got "dizzy" and then Masa approaches him and asks him why he's red😭😭 he realized, just like Kanae told him earlier, that Masachika cared about him and saw him as a kind person,,, and he must've been really flustered/embarrassed.

so that illustration either refers to that, since Novels' illustrations always have context in the text itself, or it's the lighthearted teasing about romance in general and maybe Masachika might've mentioned Kanae off-screen as an example just to make it more embarrassing given the fact they both knew her personally

and there could be more interpretations, but in either case, Sanemi only blushed out of embarrassment 😭 that's a teenage tsundere right there, it was funny to see and there's nothing really deep in it

so at last, we don't even know if Sanemi liked her or was just fond of her calming presence, but Kanae sure as hell didn't show any signs of liking him more than a stubborn and impulsive acquaintance or friend at best🖐🏻

Gyomei isn't omniscient, he speculates and that's it... ObaMitsu is entirely different from SaneKana for lots of reasons, one of which is that they were obvious from the start and even Muichiro noticed Obanai liked her ...tbf the only mf that didn't notice was Sanemi, given the fact he's canonically dense to romance other than canonically uninterested; which is why, even if he had a tiny teenage crush it was absolutely meaningless as we clearly saw; the rest is pure misinformation that some toxic shippers had spread around getting advantage of the fact that so many people in this Fandom are 1) children 2) illiterate 3) delusional 4) naive 5) all (or some) of the above

ohhh and don't get me started about GiyuShino shippers and how delusional they can be, no wonder that SaneKana shippers are usually GiyuShino shippers as well😭😭😭 no hate to the nice shippers of both, but y'all are rare. I especially don't mind GiyuShino because at least there are some interactions and potential, if we ignore 90% of Shinobu's character arc, that is... I love Shinobu too dearly to pair her up with a male sorry, but GiyuShino isn't as bad as SaneKana imo, I used to ship it too before reading the manga and other canon media and now I see both GiyuShino and SaneKana as besties..their platonic counterparts are just peak

srry for this yet another rant😭😭

Does anyone else get pissed off when someone is naming all the dead people that sanemi considered important and they mention kanae for some reason???

"Poor sanemi he lost his mother, genya, his other siblings, masachika and kanae" what does kanae even contribute to his character at all??? I saw a person get jumped by ppl on twitter cuz they mentioned how she is not important to sanemi's character at all and shit I agree; she literally did nothing to be even considered important to him, sanemi doesn't even have some special dialogue abt her or anything

[kulvefaggoth]

.

[platypusisnotonfire]

In one hour I'm gonna be 30.

I never thought I would see 20.

I text my brother, "do you feel young or do you feel old?"

we have orbited the sun the same amount of times. We have gone around the sun so many times apart that I'm not sure who either of us are any more. We have gone around the sun so many times together that I know we are only two halves of one person.

I am 4 years old I am 22 I am 17 I am 1000 years old and Oh so tired I am 6 and oh so scared and I need to know what the other half of us makes of the situation that we are experiencing in two different countries but together.

"I've felt old for years." he responds

Me too.

But also

I don't know if I'll ever be older than 7 and figuring out how to make us toast.

[rabbithaver]

every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

[acourtofquestions]

Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[non-un-topo]

Talking to my sister can be one of the most aggravating experiences

[imminent-danger-came]

On god just found the worst review of Lego Monkie Kid season 2. And I quote, “There are things from season one that are established for sure and referenced and capitalized on—but I feel like there’s just a little bit too much of that going on if that makes sense. I couldn’t help but feel like this was kind of a continuation to season one as opposed to its own storyline and it’s own season.”

Girl???? You mean it has an overarching plot????????????????

[two-person-job]

idk the "i only know a few mutuals of ieva’s from mutual friends while i was ceneid (who i won’t be mentioning here), but i do know a few, and i havent ever followed (or even heard) of a private blog from them." part gets me because me and ivy are friends (i love you ivy <3) and elise had this blog. elise was on this blog. she had a tag. THIS IS A PRIVATE BLOG!! SHE HAD AND KNEW ABOUT MY PRIVATE BLOG BTU IG THAT DOESNT COUNT!!! UGHHHH

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

how do terfs grapple with the fact that they're white supremacist losers who think that women are weak essentially like adult babies but that they also bear the apparent brunt of all human pain... liiike ok which narrative are we going with

[tonyglowheart]

reading thru old meta posts on qian qiu and there's like, some stuff I agree with sure but there's also a lot I don't lol. w like yan wushi especially. there's a lot of. I think too much conventional-mindedness in approaching yws even from the ppl who did like him as a character. saying he's a difficult character, and is meant to be a difficult character, but then still framing him along more conventional moral frameworks. yet another apartment 'complex'? strange, I find it quite simple moments.