#i could be one of the best people youve ever met

[devine-fem]

Koriand’r is so underrated.

The reason I find that I relate to Kori so much is because how we feel about our emotions. Kori once said “Why hold back how you feel? On my planet we react with the first emotion that comes to us for that is true. Your true intent and feeling. Time will blur this.”

She’s right. I trust the way I feel as it comes to me. I think deeply about what I say I do before I say or do it but I still trust my emotions deeply enough to show someone how I feel without feeling the need to sugarcoat or be “nicer” about something.

I’m blunt and emotional and I know this and I have never felt the need to cater to the way someone else feels over how I do. If I truly think a certain way then I stand on that for that hill I will die on. So many people think I’m “emotional” or “rude” but I think I am just unapologetic to how I feel and who I am. I’ve never tried to hide this especially to those I want to be friends with because I feel like if I have to hide who I am then you’re not becoming friends with the real me. I should trust you enough with my feelings and my emotions for you not to shoot down how I feel because you think it came off a little rude. I will never change who I am to make myself more palatable to someone or the world around me.

It is kind of lonely to be demonized (as Kori is) for being that way but honestly, I think how we are is fine but the world needs extra time to catch up.

I’m sorry if you felt I came off rude or unfeeling towards you but I am NOT sorry for what I did to make you feel that way and I’ve never been the type of person to pretend I am.

If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t had said it and if I ever thought I would regret something then I just wouldn’t do it. I know I come off a certain way but to be honest… I’m not changing… I’m sorry. That’s how I feel. Characters like that should be more celebrated.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I was falling asleep because it's 4:30 in the morning but then a friend that I have a mild crush on texted me and asked what horror movies corresponds to which areas at camp, and clearly Climbing Wall is Vertigo, Aquatics is Jaws and Ecology-Conservation is The Birds, (these were her assignments) but she wanted to know whether Blair Witch fit Scoutcraft (basic scouting skills) or Handicraft (arts and crafts) more, and I said Handicraft because of the figurine things, then she asked what Scoutcraft would be, and full disclosure, I like horror movies but I don't watch a lot of them. I'm picky. Because I don't like gore or zombies and I have anxiety so it's difficult. Okay. So I literally Googled "outdoor horror movies" and tried to find one that I recognized, and thankfully Midsommar was on that list and I've seen and enjoyed Midsommar, so that's what I said. The only other horror movies I can remember seeing are Cabin in the Woods (masterpiece but doesn't fit) and one I can't remember the name of but it's about a video game and has Frankie Muniz and the guy that played Mary Lightly in Psych. And tbh, most of my horror movies knowledge comes from parody episodes of Psych. Especially the Hitchcock episode. I only knew Vertigo because of Psych. This post was a whole lot of inconsequential nonsense, but I get a pass because it's 4:30am and I'm talking to a cool girl.

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[seattlesellie]

don’t cross the line

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warnings: smut (mdni), cheating, angst, mutual masturbation, just morally wrong, mentions of alcohol

Parties in Jackson fucking suck.

It’s not like youve ever been at a different party, but still. You’ve read about them in the little magazines from the old days you found on patrols. Small blurbs about meaningless celebrities, a concept you barely even understood, drinking themselves to oblivion. Paparazzi pictures of young starlets in black limousines, rappers getting coked up in dark bathrooms. You never really got it. Parties in Jackson were like a parallel universe.

“They must have made that up” you told Dina, your best friend and trusty patrol partner. “Nope” she shrugged. “Heard that Paris Hilton girl was really like that.”

Paris hilton would have hated Jackson parties. A bunch of old people, and a handful of young ones, dancing around to the beat of an old country song, if you could even call that a beat.

You could have responded with a simple “No thanks” when Jesse had invited you to tonights party. You could have told him you were tired, busy, sick, he would have left you alone - But you didn’t, alas, this is how you found yourself here. Alone, in an old barn, listening to the batshit insane, drunk ramblings of an old fart named Seth.

“Ripped that fella’s throat with just one move” Seth mumbled, laughing stupidly at his own words.

“Go — got him real good n’dirty, I tell ya”

Whoever said “respect the elderly” clearly never met Seth. His breath reeked of whiskey and cigarettes that he traded for food and supplies, and my god, he was standing so close you could see the veins in his yellow tinted eyeballs. You really were too polite for your own good, you thought to yourself, because Ellie would have shoved him away already.

Ellie.

You felt like slapping yourself in the face. What the hell does she have to do with this? Why can’t you just let it fucking go already? It truly was desperate, and pathetic, and borderline immoral, the amount you spent thinking about that girl.

So what if she used to be your best friend. So what if she was the first girl who ever made you feel something, even if it was too late. She has a girlfriend, and she’s not thinking about you, she doesn’t care, maybe never has, probably never will. She left you for her, with that useless excuse of “Cat doesn’t like it when we hang out” followed by a pathetic “We can do it in secret, though.”, when she saw your eyes turn glossy and your breath hitch up. Fuck her, and fuck those memories. Fuck all the nights you spent together telling each other your deepest and darkest desires, and especially fuck that time you almost-

“Hey”

You'd recognize that voice anywhere.

A royal blue flannel button up shirt appeared at the corner of your eye.

“Mind if I steal her for a sec, Seth?”

She sounded raspy, laced with that velvety layer her voice had adorned whenever she had a sip or more of Whiskey. When you drank together for the first time, at the ripe age of sixteen, next to a big bonfire and the ever so familiar scent of pine lacing your sense of smell, you told her that she sounds different when she’s drunk. More mature, somehow. Less fidgety, slower, sultrier. She replayed that sentence over and over again in her head. “Sultry”, she whispered to herself. “I sound sultry.”

Seth cleared his throat, a deep cough escaping his lungs.

“Of course, pretty girl like her shouldn’t be around me for too long, might start acting all wild!” The old man threw his hands in the air, and disappeared somewhere in the scarce crowd.

Your heartbeat was faster than normal, but that’s not new. Not when she was around, anyways.

Ellie stood by your side, hands crossed over her chest. She had a glass of Rum in her hand, not Whiskey. Funny.

“You’re a Rum type of girl now?” you questioned, never meeting her gaze. If you bothered to look to your side, you would have noticed she was staring.

“Fame’s changed me, I guess” She responded, mixing the fluid in her glass.

One week ago, Ellie went on patrol. One week ago, Ellie killed more infected in one go than anyone else had in years. She was the town’s hero, the infected slayer. Cat even made her a badge. She wasn’t wearing it now.

“Cat or fame?” you quietly mumbled under your breath.

You weren’t spectacularly brave with your words, but one glass of presumably expired white wine made a simple girl go very far.

“Hah. Funny” she scoffed dryly, earning her Rum another pointless swirl.

“You’re the towns hero, I’m the towns comedian, we’re both pretty famous, i’d say.”

Ellie’s gaze was fixed on the wall. She squinted her eyebrows slightly, humming in response. You looked over at her, for just a second, noticing the dim light reflecting in her eyes. She was a sight to behold, the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You wish she knew that. You wish you could be the one to tell her.

You inhaled deeply, and it came out so shaky that when you exhaled you were terrified she heard the tremor in your body.

“Thank’s for the save, by the way” you said quietly, apologetic. You even smiled politely, which was absolutely for nothing, because she wasn’t looking at you, avoiding your gaze like the plague.

It’s not like Ellie and you didn’t talk since that night she told you she couldn’t see you anymore. It’s been two whole years. You had to talk, you had to communicate somehow, even if it was through polite smiles and dry conversations during shared patrols. Hell, you even went to Cat’s birthday party you somehow were invited to. Dina was practically on her knees begging you to come with her, and who could say no to Dina when she looked at them with those puppy eyes that could tug at a monsters heartstrings?

“Yeah, no problem. That man’s a fucking dickhead” Ellie scoffed, leaned against the bar and crossed her legs.

“Where’s Cat?” you questioned. Are you sure you only had one glass of wine?

“She’s not here” Ellie responded dryly, seemingly annoyed at your question. She almost tsk’d when you asked. She didn’t look surprised by your rude antics, maybe you got like this more often than you thought. How about that time you told her you’re surprised Cat didn’t pack her a sandwich with a sticker on it’s wrapper during patrol?

“I can tell… why?” you inquired. Your own voice was deeper too, it almost matched hers.

“Didn’t wanna come” Ellie said, stuffing a hand inside her pocket. She was uncomfortable, clearly, and wanted, needed, to make you shut up. It’s not because your presence annoyed her, It’s because she knew she was wrong. She knew she fucked up when she ditched you, and if only you knew how it was eating her alive every day. She had to do it, because in her eyes, she would have done something much worse if she hadn’t.

Being around you when she wasn’t with Cat was hard enough, because she knew she could never have you, that you’d never want her. Not if you knew. You were too smart, and too good, to ever want to be with her. Cat was easy, she didn’t ask too many questions. She’d lay there for Ellie when Ellie told her to, and she would agree to stop a conversation when it got too personal. When Ellie cried at night, and woke up sweating, she didn’t ask why. She let it go, and Ellie knew you never would have. You’d fucking hate her if you knew. She could have saved the world — and she didn’t. He didn’t let her. The wounds she had were too deep, they were clawing and tugging at her skin from the inside. Ellie was a tortured soul, and you didn’t deserve that. That’s why she left, and maybe, that’s why she was here right now.

“That’s too bad” you mumbled quietly. You did your best to make it sound genuine, and you failed miserably.

Ellie scoffed.

“Yeah”

You shifted slightly, and walked over to stand right in front of her. You met her eyes for the first time. Those stupid, beautiful emerald eyes.

Ellie looked down, and looked up at you. She swallowed deeply.

“Anyways” you sighed. “Think I’m gonna go”

“Already?” she questioned, slamming her Rum filled glass on the bar counter.

“Yeah, I’m cold and it sucks in here, so” you said, and smiled politely. It really was freezing, and talking to her like this was painful enough.

“Let me walk you” she blurted.

What?

“Huh?” walk you where? the door? you knew where it was.

She tugged at the loose string on the bottom of her button up. It was ironed, where did Ellie find and iron? Did Maria do it for her? Town hero perks?

“Let me walk you home” she repeated, her voice carrying a touch of insistence. Once again, you found yourself captivated by her burning gaze, those eyes that seemed to hold secrets yet to be unveiled.

“I can walk home alone, Ellie” You huffed, ever the stubborn.

“No” she exclaimed.

“Maria said it’s been pretty dangerous”

“I can have my own back, you know, I’m not an idiot” You scoffed. You knew she didn’t think you were an idiot, why did she have to walk you home?

“I know that — Just wanna make sure you’re safe”

“Gosh, Ellie thank you! thank you!” You said in the most high pitched voice you could fathom. “The town’s hero is at it again, everybody!” You exclaimed, slightly raising your voice, earning both of you a few curious looks from the townspeople.

Ellie wasn’t embarrassed. She was just annoyed. And she wanted to slap you in the face for being so stubborn.

She grasped your arm with an unexpected forcefulness, pulling you along as she swiftly guided you outside. In the process, you accidentally bumped into a few people, hastily muttering a string of apologetic "sorry" and "excuse me" as you hurriedly tried to navigate through the crowd. You attempted to resist her firm grip, trying to free yourself with a burst of strength, but you found yourself overpowered by her determination.

Once she managed to pull you outside, she finally released her grip on your arm, allowing you a brief respite from her firm hold.

“You are not walking me anywhere, Williams” you scoffed. What made her think you needed her help?

“You’ve always been so fucking stubborn” she turned to face you. Her hands were on her hips. Her face wore the same expression she did when you went on your first patrol together, when you insisted on going left, even though she knew you had to go right.

“I’m walking now” you stepped away, and started walking. “And if you followed me — you wouldn’t be walking me home, you’d be stalking me” you exclaimed as you backed away.

Ellie quickly followed your pace, her boots stomping on the snow covered ground.

“You are”

Step

“So fucking annoying”

This was the longest conversation you’ve had with Ellie in two whole years. It felt like nothing’s changed, except for everything.

The following ten minutes were torturous. You were walking fast, Ellie right behind you. No words were exchanged between you, the silence enveloping the crisp air as you both walked in silence. Your attention turned inward, focusing on the sensation of the cold air filling your lungs with each breath, and the soft sound of Ellie's boots pressing against the creaking snow beneath her.

You finally arrived at your place. It’s grey exterior blanketed in a pristine layer of snow. Every inch of its structure was adorned with a delicate coat of white.

You turned around to face her.

Ellie’s skin appeared slightly flushed, with a rosy tinge highlighting her cheeks, and her nose bore a noticeable reddish hue, hinting at the crisp winter air. She didn’t say a word.

You took a deep breath. She looked cold.

“Want me to make you some tea?” you questioned. You didn’t mean to let her in, and she didn’t expect you to ask. She looked surprised, her eyebrows turned slightly upwards.

“M’fine” Ellie insisted, her voice resolute despite the chill in the air. She sought warmth by tucking her hands deep into the pockets of her dark green coat.

“Jesus, Ellie — Just come inside” you urged, the concern evident in your voice.

“If walking you was stalking wouldn’t coming in be breaking and entering?” she inquired, a sarcastic tone lacing her words.

“Just —“ you uttered, your voice trailing off as you reached for the doorknob, slowly opening the door.

“Come inside”

"Fine," Ellie relented, her resolve wavering as she decided to follow in your footsteps.

The house welcomed you with its cozy warmth, though slightly disorganized in its appearance. Yet, amidst the subtle chaos, it remained a comforting sanctuary, always your safe space. Being there brought a sense of solace, as if the troubles of the outside world faded away. And with Ellie's presence by your side, an inexplicable tingling sensation spread through your being.

You proceeded to heat up some water, carefully attending to the task of preparing tea, a familiar ritual.

Ellie never knew where to sit, or where to stand, so there she was, examining every single one of your movements. The air felt thick, like you could cut the tension with a switchblade.

"Your house looks different," she murmured in a low voice, leaning against the cream-colored wall.

“Bad different?” You questioned, taking out two mugs from the cupboard.

“No, just… more stuff” she murmured.

"Well," you uttered as you gently placed the teabag into the awaiting mug. “You haven’t been here in a while, so”

Ellie hummed in response, and bit her lower lip.

“You’ve kind of changed too.” you murmured.

“Tattoos looking bigger. And you look more tired. Plus, your shirt looks ironed, so maybe you even… showered? Woah.” you teased.

“Fuck, you really are funny huh?” she said, crossing her arms.

“Always were a sucker for my jokes” you responded with a sly smile.

She didn’t mean to say what she said next, because that was like opening a pandora’s box. Or, more like, the gates to hell.

“This is the longest conversation we’ve had in years” Ellie murmured. You handed her the green colored mug, your finger brushing her’s for a second. You both flinched.

“Mhm” you took a sip from your tea. It was still so hot, it burned your tongue.

“And who’s fault is that?” You questioned, raising your eyes to meet her burning gaze. It was incredibly impulsive.

Ellie rolled her eyes. She looked baffled.

“You still don’t get it, do you? She questioned.

“Get what? that your girlfriend doesn’t like me? trust me Ellie, I get that, crystal clear.” You smiled, as you slammed your mug on the counter.

“I’m not doing this right now” she declared, her tone firm and resolute.

Oh, did that sentence burn through you.

“I think you are” you stepped forward to face her. She looked terrified, like a lost puppy. Not so “town’s hero” now. Thank god she wasn’t wearing Cat’s badge, because she would have looked ridiculous.

“I’m not” she said quietly, looking at the floor beneath her.

You felt the ever so familiar lump forming in your throat. She owed you.

“Tell me what it is exactly that I don’t get” you spat. The pent up anger from all these years finally just fucking bursted. She left you. She left you for her, your best fucking friend.

“It’s just funny how she didn’t give a shit about Jesse, or Dina, or anybody! Just fucking me, right? I’m the fucking problem?” you blurted. Your voice was shaky, filled with rage. The tears in your eyes started forming. You didn’t even know how much you were holding it inside of you, it all overflowed, at 2AM, right in your kitchen. Right where she told you she couldn’t see you anymore.

Ellie was frozen, her mouth parted slightly. She was flushed, and it showed. It wasn’t the cold weather anymore, it was you. She didn’t expect this to happen so fast. She came inside for some fucking tea.

That’s when you shoved her. And she didn’t even fucking move.

“Don’t fucking do this to me” she begged. Her voice was desperate, and shaky, and what the fuck was she hiding?

You found yourselves standing uncomfortably close to each other, the proximity palpable. The warmth of her breath gently grazed your forehead, creating a tantalizing sensation that sent a shiver down your spine.

She took a deep breath.

“What I did was bad. But — fuck, Jesse and Dina never slept over, you know that?”

The room fell quiet.

“So?” you whispered. You couldn’t even look at her.

“Don’t do this” she begged. Her eyes were glossy. She looked as if she was about to cry, too. Her chest was pressed up against yours.

“I’m not doing anything” you mumbled quietly. Her body was so warm. You felt like you were about to have a heart attack, and Ellie felt like she already did.

“If I would have stayed… I would have done something… so much worse” she whispered. Her hands were trembling.

“What would you have done?” you whispered against her. Dangerously close now. You could feel her unsteady heartbeat.

“You know” she whispered back. You saw the vein on her neck, how beautifully spattered the freckles on her skin were, like a constellation.

“Please” you begged.

That’s all it took.

Almost.

"No," she whispered, her voice barely audible. The proximity between your lips was almost intimate, an agonizingly close distance.

“Please” you begged.

Her eyes were dark, breaths unsteady and fast, like she just ran a marathon. Her chest was rising up and down. She’s dreamt of this moment, for so fucking long. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t fuck more people up. She’s done more than enough.

“You don’t know what you fucking do to me” She whispered against your skin. Her eyes were shut closed. If she didn’t see, maybe it would’ve been less wrong. If she didn’t see, maybe Cat wouldn’t either. She could go home, kiss her girlfriend good night. Walk away. But there you were, pressed up against her, making her head spin like a carousel, fogging her brain with your scent, and your lips, and all of the times she pictured you like this, helpless and begging. She never looked at Cat how she looked at you. Cat never made her feel like she could faint at any given moment. Cat was safe, she was a sunny day. You were a thunderstorm, a cloud, soaking her up. When Ellie said she would have done something so much worse, she meant that.

Cat was right when she told her to stay away, she always was. When Ellie begged Cat to stop her ramblings, Cat told her she looks at you like she’s hungry. That it’s disgusting, that she wishes it was her. She was crying, and begging, and she was right. That’s why Ellie knocked on your door that way. One person she could save.

Ellie’s hands were firmly pressed up against the wall, locking you in.

“You dont know…” she whispered.

You whimpered silently at her words. You were aching everywhere, you just needed her to do something.

“Show me” you said, and it came out more as a plead. You were begging her.

Ellie leaned in, drawing her face closer to yours, and your lips delicately brushed against each other. The electrifying touch sent a shiver down your spine, evoking a soft, involuntary moan that escaped your lips. It went straight to her heart, and then slipped right to her cunt.

Her lips were plump against yours. Just barely touching.

She delicately brushed her lips against yours, causing a gentle collision that sent a jolt of electricity through both of you. A shaky breath escaped her mouth.

“Ellie…” you whispered. Ellie, just do it. you can’t take it anymore.

She abruptly slammed her hands against the wall, causing it to tremor ever so slightly. The suddenness of the action startled you, making you jump in response.

“Shit” she huffed.

And her lips weren’t against yours anymore, neither was she.

Ellie backed away. She couldn’t.

Your lips quivered, and there it was. Her precious thunderstorm erupting.

The tears came out hot, and sticky. They ran all over your cheeks. You let out a quiet sob. Ellie was staring, her breaths uneven and her mouth agape. She almost did what shes been dreaming of doing since the moment she saw you. Almost.

your legs betrayed you, giving out completely. You crumbled down onto the floor, unable to stand any longer. With tears welling up in your eyes, you instinctively curled up, bringing your head between your legs as you tried to suppress the sobs that threatened to consume you.

It was a truly pathetic sight, Ellie towering over your quivering body. It’s been two whole years, and you missed her every single day that passed. It was gnawing at you. Seeing them hand in hand, kissing on the street, making out behind the dumpster. Thinking of Ellie hugging her at night, caressing her skin, touching her everywhere, telling her she loves her, fucking her, tasting her and not you. It should have been you. But it couldn’t be.

If only you knew that when Ellie was between her thighs, you were the only one she thought of. If only you knew Ellie had to bite her lip till it bled to stop from screaming your name. That’s why Ellie always turned off the lights, That’s why Ellie shoved Cat’s face down on the bed with her entire palm when she took her from behind. That’s why she always closed her eyes.

Her body gave up on her, too.

She sat on the cold concrete floor, trying to steady her breaths.

“Look at me” she commanded. It was breathy, and shaky, more of a plea than a real command.

You wiped your tears.

“I can’t” you whispered.

“Please” she begged.

You mustered the strength to lift your face, raising your gaze to meet hers.

“I think about you all the time” you blurted.

She huffed in response. Your soft voice was killing her. She couldn’t even respond. She just watched.

“Ellie…” you whined. The distance between you was torturous. There was so much space, and at the same time, no space at all. You could still feel her lips brushing against yours. You wished you could taste her. She yearned for that even more. She felt like something was chaining her down to the floor, holding her captive.

What you did next, is something Ellie had buried deep inside her darkest fantasies.

You delicately caressed your smooth neckline, doe eyes burning through her’s.

Ellie swallowed deeply.

“What are you doing?” she mumbled, lower than a whisper. Her voice was raspy, and her pupils were blown out. She was imagining, for sure, hallucinating, intoxicated by the picture of you being pressed up against her. It couldn’t be real.

“I need you” you whimpered.

She almost crawled right to you right then and there. Her knees were spread open in front of you. Her breath hitched in her throat. Her heart felt like it was leaping out of her chest.

“You cant” she insisted. It felt like she tried to convince herself, and not you. You couldn’t. There’s no way.

“I want you” you whispered, lowering your hand to caress your breasts.

Something took over you. Being pent up with frustration for years birthed such a desperate sight, she couldn’t fathom it.

She grunted in response. Do that again and she’d lose her fucking mind.

You cupped your breast.

Ellie threw her head against the wall. She forgot how to breathe. Her nostrils were flared, and she almost slapped herself in order to convince her that this was real. This was happening.

“Holy shit” she wheezed.

“Please” you begged, and squeezed your breast forcefully. Your nippled hardened against the material, so you gave them a twist, sending a bolt of electricity right through your clothed cunt.

Ellie’s mouth was agape. She was transfixed, mesmerized. Her cheeks grew more red by the second. It was so fucking wrong, she almost told you to stop, but she couldn’t. Her voice felt dry and her brain was buzzing. Her ex best friend was so desperate for her she couldn’t even help herself.

The image of Cat went through her head. Cat seeing, walking in. Cat trembling and crying, telling her she told her so. Cat screaming at her that she’s an awful person, that she hurt her, That she should burn in hell.

Then, you took your shirt off.

And Cat was gone.

Her eyes were darting from your tits to your needy eyes. You were giving her that look she only saw in her dreams. That desperate, pathetic twinkle in your eye. She saw a girl look like that in an old porno she found. Ever since, that picture of your face replacing the actresses burned through her memory. She knew it was for her, you were showing her, but she looked like she wasn’t supposed to see, a peeping tom, a pervert. Her cunt twitched inside her tight black boxers. Cat never made her cunt feel like this.

The dainty lace bra adorned your body. you looked like an angel, eyes red from crying, cheeks still wet, chest rising up and down. She wanted to ruin you.

You stopped for a second, looked for a sign to keep going.

The room was silent, the only noises that muttered were your soft whimpers and Ellie’s harsh, uneven breaths.

“Take it off” she whispered. You almost couldn’t believe she said that. You nodded pathetically. She always knew you’d be like this. She imagined you nodding your head frantically, kneeling beneath her and undoing her belt, way too many times she wouldn’t dare to admit. Her heavy breaths were a confession to all of her sins.

You unclasped your bra, your tits spilling out of it with a sigh of relief.

Ellie was hypnotized, fully staring. She remembered the first tine she saw you in a bikini. Jesse noticed she was staring, and he gave her some advice. “Look at the ground or the sky, pretend there’s something super interesting going on there”

She didn’t need to pretend now.

“Fuck” she grunted, feeling her cunt twitch inside her briefs. Her mouth was agape, she wanted those nipples between her teeth. Her tongue slightly moved involuntarily inside her mouth, imitating the kitten licks she’d give your tits if she could. It was truly pathetic. Thank god you couldn’t see. Her fists were clenched, and she was forcing her feet onto the ground. If she pretended something was pulling her in, she wouldn’t crawl towards you and take you like she always wanted.

You toyed with your nipples, rolling them between your fingers, almost as if you read her mind.

“Spit on ‘em” Ellie demanded desperately.

“Ellie…” You whimpered, her voice was making you grow wetter by the second. If you took your pants off, she could see the wet patch that soaked through your panties, making them almost sheer. You were almost embarrassed, but it was too late now.

“Do it” she commanded.

“Do it for me” Ellie begged. She brought a hand up to cup at her perky clothed breast. She imagined it was you, your tits between her fingers. She wanted to squeeze the fat, take it in, spit on it, latch her mouth onto your nipples, slap them as you ride her thigh, or her face, or her whatever the fuck you wanted.

The saliva ran down your chest, droplets flowing at an incredibly slow pace, each and every one of them teasing Ellie, mocking her. Almost there, almost reaching your sensitive nipples. When it finally did, Ellie was breathing so heavy she almost wheezed.

You rubbed the spit all over your tits, glazing your nipples with the liquid, coating them shiny with your saliva - all for her. You were staring at ellie with your mouth open. You moaned at the sensation, making Ellie shift and slightly slide off the wall. She was gone.

“Feels so good” you whined.

“Fucking shit” She huffed. She bucked her hips, searching for that friction. She didn’t do it yet, but oh she will.

“Mhhm” you hummed, a high pitched moan escaping your lips.

Ellie almost went cross eyed.

“Need you, please” You whispered while massaging your breasts. You were squeezing the fat harshly, almost punishing yourself for being such a dirty, desperate girl.

“Show me” She begged, in between breaths.

“Show me how bad - shit”

You cupped your cunt, your hand feeling warm over it. Your clit twitched. Ellie let out a moan so deep, you almost came right then and there, all over your panties.

You circled your clit through your pants, teasing Ellie without even realizing. I can do it, and you can’t! It felt like you were mocking her.

“Take that shit off — fuck” she huffed. Her hand was resting on her thigh, pinching it. Stay down. Don’t crawl, don’t fuck, don’t cheat.

In a matter of six seconds, your pants were on the floor. You crossed your legs together in embarrassment. What if she saw how wet you were?

“Spread” She commanded.

You looked at her stupidity.

“Spread ‘em, please” Ellie begged.

You spread your legs slowly, revealing your soaked white cotton panties to Ellie. Her eyes rolled back at the sight.

“Fucking shit” she grunted.

Her hand met her own cunt and gave it a stinging slap, followed by a desperate grunt. She moved her veiny hand up and down, almost grabbing her pussy. She felt perverted, and sickly, and so, so good. The friction of her hand on her cunt was followed by a string of deep moans, chanting your name like a prayer. She didn’t even know how bad she needed it.

“Wider” She commanded.

You spread your legs so wide your thighs almost hurt. When Ellie saw that wet spot, she lost it.

“So wet” she whispered in disbelief.

“Show me that pussy” She whimpered.

“Show me that fucking pussy”

You moved your panties to the side, the cold air hitting your clit making you flinch. You swore you could cum just from clenching in and out, listening to the obscenities leaving her mouth.

“Holy shit” She moaned, and cupped her cunt forcefully.

“So pretty” she whispered. It was even prettier than she thought, glistening folds and a little puffy button poking out. She needed to see inside, everywhere.

“Spread it with your fingers” She grunted. You parted your lips with your pointer finger and your thumb, wide open for her. She saw how bad you were clenching, begging for something inside. Your puffy clit moved with every pull.

“Wanna fuck you so bad” she groaned, it was killing her.

“Need to see you Ellie, please, please” you begged.

With that whine leaving your mouth, Ellie unzipped her jeans, and pulled down her boxers slowly, revealing you of the most beautiful sight youve ever seen in your life.

Her thighs were creamy, a mound of soft, dark hair adorning her pubis. Her slick was shining on her milky inner thighs from the boxer briefs she took off slightly brushing on them. She was so wet, it almost glistened like a far away star, deep in the galaxy. Her mouth was parted and she looked famished.

Tiny droplets of sweat were shining on her forehead, making her hair stick to her face. She was a panting, desperate mess.

You couldn’t help but slide your hand up your thigh, and started running your fingers through your glistening folds. Finally. “Oh god, Ellie” you moaned. You wished those were her fingers, if you could, if you only could.

Ellie moaned like a porn star at the sight. You thought she might tease herself, might play with her cunt before doing something. She proved you wrong.

She slid two long fingers inside her aching hole, squelching sounds filling the air. She pumped them in and out, fucking herself like a madwoman. Her hungry eyes were fixated on your fingers caressing your needy cunt. Her mouth was watering, borderline drooling, soft “ah!”s escaping her lips.

You circled your clit slowly, and felt your lower stomach leap at the contact. You lapped your slick with your middle finger, and sucked on it. It was obscene. Ellie’s cunt twitched. She almost came.

“Good girl” She groaned at the sight.

“Faster” She commanded, a deep moan escaping her lips.

You fastened your pace, and she was looking you directly in the eyes while pumping her fingers inside her cunt. With every pump, you could see a milky cream coating her fingers, the sight alone made your puffy clit ache with pleasure.

It was so wrong, and obscene, and pathetic, and you almost came.

“Fucking shit — fuck yourself, show me, fuck yourself” She whimpered, fastening her pace as well. The moans that left her mouth were deep, bursting from the inside of her soul.

Her fucking ex best friend.

“E — Ellie m’close” you whined, inserting a finger inside your soaking hole.

“Can see how fucking tight you are - fuck”

“Faster, do it f’me baby faster” She groaned.

The harmony of your moans intertwined, creating an intoxicating symphony.

“Ellie — gonna cum, fuck” You babbled, drool running down your chin. You were so close, eyes rolling to the back of your Ellie filled brain.

“Please fuck me, please fuck me”

“Cu — Fuck, shit, m’cuming” Ellie grunted.

“Say my fucking name” She demanded, her words coming out so sloppy and ridiculous.

“Ellie — Ellie! Please!”

Ellie almost screamed. She wanted to tell you to come for her, wanted to hear the noises youd make, see your face twist and the screams of her name, but she couldn’t help herself, the sight of your desperate cunt and the look on your face, so stupid, so cumdrunk, so pathetic, begging her to fuck you - brought her to the edge. It errupted inside of her like a volcano, pumping and squeezing on her fingers. She rode her orgasm until it tickled and hurt.

When you came, Ellie almost shed a tear.

This wasn’t just wrong.

This was vile.

She pulled up her pants up and left without saying a word, too embarrassed to look you in the face.

When she got home, Cat was sound asleep on her bed. She gave her a delicate kiss on the cheek, and whispered;

“I’m so sorry”

[hearts4werka]

No Nut November!

authors note: our no nut November has officially started! I might change this schedule later but as I’m writing this it’s 6 am so we’ll see how it changes. Idk how consistent I’ll be able to be with this and that’s the thing I worry most about this so I apologize in advance if I might not post on one day 😭 small disclaimer English is not my first language and now let’s roll

| 🥐 means ANGST - 🍪 means FLUFF |

Visit - > masterlist | guestlist

🥐 - November 1st! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Don’t Do This Again” is available now!

• a heated argument with your boyfriend Matt who’s the fuckboy of the town about him sleeping with another girl at a party you attended last night but are you going to give him another chance, or value your well being and break things off?

🍪 - November 2nd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Gothically Yours” is available now!

• you’ve forced your boyfriend to let you do goth makeup on him and the experience turns out to be more fun than he could have expected, leaving both of you giggling while laying on the floor together…

🥐 - November 3rd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Skin Deep Scars” is available now!

• you’ve been born into a rich controlling family, always having to stay on top and never cross the line. You tried to please your mother but never could be enough for your mother’s standards, your father was mostly at work and away at business trips so both of you hardly ever interacted with each other. That’s until you got into an argument about your new friend chris who was the polar opposite of you, what do you think will happen next?

🍪 - November 4th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Snow-Day Magic” is available now!

• december has finally arrived, snow has fallen and your daughter has never been more excited for your annual snow day with your husband Matthew matching her energy and enthusiast to which you fit right into, being the mother of both people.

🥐 - November 5th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Whispers Of Madness” is available now!

• ever since one unfortunate day, you havent felt the same mentally. The dark entity that now permanently stabled a special place in your mind, making you go more insane with eachasing minute. Whenever you try to reach out for help to the one person you trust, being yout best friend matthew he always argues that nothing is actually there and my brain is messing with me but I know more than ive lead onto. Are you going to finally shatter and possibly lead to murder, or maybe finally banish the evil living inside of you?

🍪 - November 6th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Birthday Tears” is available now!

• today was your birthday, the day you’ve never got to actually celebrate because of some family issues. Youve now always avoided your birthday and didn’t want to celebrate it, when you were coming home from the grocery store you were met with a sweet surprise when entering the house…

🥐 - November 7th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Underground Secrets“ is available now!

• your boss has set up a dangerous mission for you—to take down the intel of the notorious rival gang, The Vipers. Your boyfriend, a drug dealer of a rival organization, Chris is advising you not to go through with the plan because of how dangerous it is for someone like you, will you listen to your boyfriend or value your reputation over the risk of life and go through with the plan?

🍪 - November 8th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Adorable Chaos” is available now!

• one day you woke up to Matt becoming the best dad for two of your little fur babies, showing all of the affection you wanted to show them yourself but couldn’t and there was Matt fulfilling your little dream

🥐 - November 9th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Shattered Promises" is available now!

• a dangerous war was declared, the one thing you feared would happen in your life ever since your husband Matthew joined the military. The fear of him possibly dying out on the battlefield without a proper goodbye always managed to deliver you nightmares and now your worst fear came true, Matthew had to go off to fight for his country. Is he going to make it and come back home safely, or maybe you’ll forever hold the weight of him in your heart even without him among the living?

��� - November 10th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Newborn Miracle" is available now!

• the time has finally come, you and chris are going to become parents. Both of you are filled with joy and nervousness at the same time since this is a big step both of you have to make now and you’re ready more than ever for the adventures that lay ahead of you.

🍪&🥐- November 11th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Books, Breezes and Broken Limbs" is available now!

• one cool autumn afternoon, you’ve been reading your book in peace and minding your own business until your doorbell suddenly rings and you’re met with an unusual sigh, a zombie man holding his fallen arm. Will you help him out or freak out by the sight of the monster and slam the door in his face?

❌ - November 12th! - Day Closed

✎ᝰ. |

🥐 - November 13th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “You Can’t Save Me” is available now!

• Matt was a gang member and you knew the life as one or alongside one was a constant gamble for your life, never knowing what you’ll roll nor what consequences you will have to face. Today you didn’t know you would be facing one of them out of Matthew’s not informing you that they owed money to the violent rival gang, not thinking as an outcome I’ll have to face the barrier between life or death, will you somehow survive or face the consequences and give into the dark feeling of death?

🍪 - November 14th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Zombies Don’t Do Costumes” Is now available!

• Chris’s favorite season has came around the corner, Halloween season. He always loved to decorate the house with various scary objects, give our candy to children but especially scaring them. He decided to not dress up this year while handing out candy at your house and got quite shocked when a group of local children got scared of his so called ‘realistic zombie costume’ since they thought he was real. What would have you done if you were these kids?

🥐 - November 15th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Unspoken Words” is now available!

• it’s pouring rain outside and you’re in a heated argument with the so-called ‘loser skater boy’ of the school, Chris about your popular friend group constantly picking on him but you don’t know what you could possibly do about it, in the heat of the moment you accidentally confess your love for him that you’ve been bottling inside of you for ages now, how will Chris react to the sudden confession?

🍪 - November 17th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Coffe And Calculations" is now available!

youve been in a spiral lately and decided to schedule a study session with Matt, while you were still struggling he had already finished all of his work but to not pressure you, he pretended to still have unfinished work by scribbling on a piece of paper but still keeping a close eye on you, asking if you need a break you didn’t want but secretly needed.

❌ - November 19th! - Day Closed

✎ᝰ. |

🥐 - November 21st! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Uninvited Judgements” is now available!

• you were invited to a party by one of your friends, of course you brought Matt, your boyfriend along despite him being slightly younger, everything was going by smoothly and everyone was having great fun until you went out to the bathroom and when you came back you saw your drunken friends surrounding Matt, not suggesting anything good by their loud laughter…

🍪&🥐- November 23rd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Fractured Bonds” is now available!

• you and Chris never got along, until your parents forced you to at least attempt to be civil with each other since you’ll be flying out for vacation soon to be on good terms, you were getting along pretty well until a truck comes crashing into you but Chris pushes you out of the way, causing the harsh injuries to himself, suffering a broken leg & two fingers and a slight concussion, making your good relationship crush and crumble, or did it?

- November 25th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 27th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 29th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 30th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

& love and peace, V

[fcknstar]

,,locked up with you "

marcuslopez x fem! reader

a.n : this was requested and its been such a long time since ive watched deadly class omfg. im abit rusty in writing him and m vv sorry. i hope this is okay and could go to the suggestive way which m going to make a part 2 of! my taglist!

warnings : intoxication?, suggestive ending

**lowercase intended**

there was only one rule that was greatly feared by the students. “ never kill another student in and outside school grounds. “ it was widely known among students that there was once an incident that happened, the culprit facing grave punishments.

walking back to your dorm to set your thing down before getting lunch was the only thing you looked forward to. you enjoyed eating as much as you enjoyed eating it with your best friend. despite being one of the most respected students here, you didnt care if people gave you the side eye if they caught you being friends with the rats. it was normal some of the royals from other groups to bust down your door to take you to serve you a reminder to never communicate with that “ filthy rat “ you associated yourself with. lex, petra and billy were the only few rats you enjoyed being with. the rest? not really what you are looking for in a friend. of course, being friends with the rats doesnt mean that you get along with every single rat you see. for example marcus. ever since he joined kings dominion, hes nothing but a stuck up bitch. just because rumors has it that he killed an entire orphanage, he thinks that everyone will fear him. 

going out of your dorm to meet up with lex, you were met with a hard chest. when the scent smacked you in the face, you knew exactly who you bumped into. 

" hey! arent you going to apologize? " marcus voiced out. 

ignoring him, you quite literally had to push yourself out of his big figure, dodging him as he tried to push you against the wall. seeing lex in the distance, you called out for him and pretending that marcus isnt trying to kill you. of course, angered by your actions, he tried to scare you off, when the master lins people started pushing everyone into random dorms. to your luck, you were in your dorm with lex. to your luck, marcus was too in it. 

" another student have been found dead and im going to find out who. " master lins voice echoed through the empty halls. 

" oh my, t's lockdown. well, seems like we are going to miss lunch, beautiful. " lex chuckled. 

" beautiful? you? calling her beautiful? are you seriou- " marcus started pestering you, gesturing all kinds of hand signs that nearly looked similar to gang signs. 

" well, she is one of the finest women here in kings dominion. hey, you got any glue and a plastic pencil case? " lex started looking around the room for the said items, making marcus frown in confusion. 

" its in the drawer in my desk. to the left " you knew lex found it when you heard eager sniffing after a fart-like sound signaling that he emptied the glue out. 

" ohh.. " marcus concluded that lex wanted to get high. of course. 

it had been afew hours and lex got knocked out after being starved and getting high on an empty stomach. you were on your bed looking through your textbooks for answers to the chemistry equations. 

" you know those are really easy to answer. " 

" hey, im talking to you. " youve ignored him, not once, not twice but three times. 

" would you please shut up? if you want to talk, whisper " glancing at lex snoring softly. 

" someones mad. " marcus looked up from whatever book he saw lying around, watching you scratch your head in confusion. 

" you know, if you need helP- ouch " marcus was met with a book that was flung into his way. another indication of you wanting him to shut up. he watched the way you looked at lex, giggling about how stupid he looks, lying on the ground breathing slowly. 

turning to your side to look at marcus, you huffed. 

“ why do act the way you are? acting so high and mighty when you are just a timid rat? “ 

“ well i did- “

“ didnt burn the orphanage down. fuckface did. “ you deadpanned.

“ ho- how did you.. “ marcus began sinking into the chair, realizing that you had figured him out which scared him. 

“ i know who fuckface is, marcus. “ you slowly advance towards him.

“ and something is telling me that he is after you.. for stealing his name.” you ran a finger against his neck, gesturing that fuckface was coming for his head. 

“ so, if i were you, id start running. “ you whispered, faces inches from his. lips close enough that if one of you were to lean in, your lips would be connected. 

marcus thought it was going to happen, everything you said flew out of his mind as he could only think of you. he would never admit it, but he was greatly attracted to you when he saw you in school. he felt something turn in his stomach, the undeniably annoying heat that he was tremendously feeling. so when you pulled away, he was caught off guard. jumping back onto your bed, you sighed happily, as if nothing ever happened between you two. 

“ i know the fucking game youre playing, ( name ) . “ marcus whispered. 

“ oh do you now ? “ you smiled softly. 

it was when marcus pushed your books away from your bed, moving towards you. once he was in the same eye length with you, he whispered, “ may i? “

it didnt have to be a verbal response, it was plenty to understand that you wanted it too. 

--

taglist :

@superpositvecloudshipper

[ssparksflyy]

OMG BELLS REQS ARE OPEN AAAA

literally any kind of Leo x latina reader please cause im just in love with how you write him

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

leo valdez dating hcs! ✶ ࣪˖࿐ *

pairing: leo valdez x latina!reader warning(s): swearin + gringas this one aint for u pookies ♡♡ a/n: BRO. i had to rewrite this completely twice bcs i kept on forgetting to save it nd it would all delete 😭 also ty girlie ♡

leo valdez, certified loverboy

his lips gotta be surgically detached from you cause damn

this boy loves kissing u

big big fan of u wearing lipgloss/lipstick cause then it gets on his lips nd leaves him all heart eyes

its like his own lil trophy

nd hey it reminds the other girlies that hes taken !! not available !! go find someone else !!

so u best believe u do it w a SMIRK.

best dance partner to ever dance partner

his hands go all over u girl

but that usual firm grip on ur waist omfg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

also does not gaf if he feels like his legs r about to fall off, if u wanna keep dancing then dance he shall

only other people he would dance w are little kids who ask him to ♡

good asf with kids im afraid

he claims that its because their imaginations are still big, hence making it easier for him to actually enjoy having a conversation with them instead of like ... politics ( hes never had a convo about politics )

he so wouldve loved spending time with family if he had the chance :((

he so becomes besties w ur mama tho ♡♡

( if shes mortal ofc )

they instantly clicked when u introduced them to each other :))

ur mom loves how sweet he is nd how much he cares abt you ♡

you left for a second to go to the restroom nd came back to the comadres looking at baby pics

like ?? u left for 2 seconds ??

wdym hes already getting the family chisme shes just met this man ??

its that leo valdez charm or somethin

cause like if ur dads a mortal he also really likes him 😭

ofc hes gotta pull the whole overprotective dad bit first

but once they get talking he slowly gets more comfortable w him :))

he also appreciates how much he cares nd how he puts u first ♡♡

i feel like mortal parents would just care if they treat u right nd are loyal

or maybe they dont nd actually become stricter

....

who knows anyway back to repair boy

THE roses man

his fav flowers

he thinks it romantic its classy and hey who doesnt love a good red rose

he could spend days making you a bunch of metal flowers nd painting them nd make a bouquet

but he gives u a metal flower everyday !!

so u best believe for special occasions he buys u a big ol ramo of roses nd a cute lil plushie or somethin ♡

v cute v cute v that sould be me

u best believe when u move in together

oh yea. ur future is already planned out together

theres always something bomb for dinner

whether its homemade or ordered in, u eat good every night ♡

"but i cant cook!' dw pooks he can !!

he asked ur parent for ur fav homemade meals nd asked them to teach him how they make it :((

best believe u wake up to breakfast made every weekend

nd ofc all he asks for back is kisses ♡

im tellin u. an addict. cannot get enough. its not normal man

youve got a stash of candies in one of ur cabinets for whenever u crave themmm

constantly gotta restock up tho cause they do NOT last

u guys def talk crap in spanish

i mean obviously , who doesnt

but if u desperately need a gossip sesh but r like surrounded by ppl you whip out the spanish ykyk

sigh, i want a leo valdez ♡♡

a/n two: hope u enjoyed !! idk if these r kinda short but tbh im so sleepy nd havent had good sleep at all this week so im ending it here, have a good day/night !!

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[doraambrose]

Am I the only one who has trouble reading reader insert fics that use "yn"? Like, I can never put in my own name or anything like that. I only read it as "your name." And it makes any story more comical to me because it could be a really emotional scene and the person will be like, "You're perfect YOUR NAME, I love you YOUR NAME". Idk. Maybe it's just me. I'm not bashing reader insert fics, I personally just have a hard time not seeing it as anything other than your name and it makes it harder for me to take a reader insert fic seriously, even if they're really good.

Its one of the reasons I prefer ocs in some cases, but then again, those fics can also have their own flaws. Like sometimes, reader or the oc is written as basically perfect in every way, the one that delivers the funny line, the super smart one, the quirky but in a good way one, the prettiest person youve ever met in your life, the sensible, put together one, dainty. Theyre the best at everything and super smart and talented and have no real flaws that could possibly be a turn off for anyone. Those are hard to read through. Its too Disney channel for me, personally. I know its fiction, but id like it if the reader or oc had some characteristics that made them seem more human or relatable. Like something kind of gross or messy or something that most people have done or do that they theyre not proud of, but its just a human thing, like forgetting to wash your hair sometimes and it gets all greasy and you feel gross, or loud snoring, picking your teeth, cleaning out your ear with your finger nail (ive seen my brother do that. Its hard to watch lol), being too lazy to shave, pimple popping. Idk man (i dont know how to explain it).

It's why other than a couple I'm reading as like a guilty pleasure thing, I don't really read fics that are character/reader or OCS. I mainly prefer canonical relationships between existing characters or characters I wish got together, but maybe that's just because I have a pretty unimaginative brain lol.

[total-drama-brainrot]

i dont know whether youve established this or not but for ur p!noah au, what does phobia factor look like? (if he makes it that far)

I've got a few ideas for how Noah (both in general and in this AU) would behave in the Phobia Factor episode!

My first idea, which works better for a more canon-adjacent Noah, is to have him either genuinely fall asleep at the campfire or feign falling asleep at the campfire- so he doesn't have to divulge his "greatest fear" in front of the others.

Because Noah's a very private person; both his fellow competitors and the audience at large know very little about him, and those who try to are often met with his sour, prickly exterior. Why on Earth would he ever willingly share his greatest fear on international TV with a bunch of people he doesn't even like?

(And, as we saw in the Awake-a-thon episode, pretending to pass out is something Noah would and does do to get out of uncomfortable situations.)

Of course, that scenario could be ruined by having one of the mlre confrontational characters (like Heather) shake him awake to hear his answer. But, ideally, it'd end up being more of a Courtney situation, where he never does give an answer, but Chris finds something in the shows footage that indicates Noah has a fear of [insert phobia here].

Then there's the second scenario, where Noah just straight up lies about what he's scared of (and I'm surprised no one else did this canonically). Again, why would he tell people what he's actually scared of? So he picks one of the most common phobias and runs with it- something innocuous, like a fear of the dark, or claustrophobia. Or maybe he decides to be a smartass and chooses some obscure or 'ridiculous' phobia instead, like ailurophobia/cynophpbia (fear of cats/dogs), on the off-chance that they'll have to face them as part of a challenge.

In the case of p!Noah, I think he'd do something similar to the second scenario, but claim his 'biggest fear' is hemophobia (fear of blood)- a bold claim for someone's who's decidedly Not Afraid Of Blood, in fact he's quite fond of it. Of course, no one else has any way of knowing this, so it's accepted as truth.

As a side note here, I kind of touched upon this before but p!Noah doesn't really experience fear like others do- that's why he's so amused by other's fear responses, since he lacks one of his own. It's also why he's such a thrill-seeker, he gets all of the adrenaline and none of the actual fear.

And then the Phobia Factor challenge happens. Noah's tasked with submerging himself in a pool of blood, similar to Beth's pool of worms, to earn his team a point.

Noah's fine with this. (More than fine, really. Red is a pretty colour.) But he can't let the others know that, or he'd be caught out in his lie. But he also doesn't want to lose this challenge. So he gingerly climbs into the pool, doing his best to fake fear and revulsion to... mixed results. He doesn't understand things like fear, panic and terror at a personal level, so for the most part he just looks like a soggy unamused cat. Despite how much he really wants to splash about, or get lost in the sauce.

(Maybe the more switched on of his team mates pick up on the maddened glee in his eyes as he floats in a pool of blood, or his almost carefully crafted stoicism- a far cry from everyone else's screams of terror.)

He wins a point for the team, and that's that.

Remember, Noah's strategy here is to be as unremarkable as possible; he wouldn't go out of his way to draw attention to himself. Especially not when Izzy’s still around to cause chaos for him.

...That doesn't mean he won't later make a confessional, still dripping in 'blood', where he complains to the audience that Chris used the 'fake shit' for his challenge for the budgets sake. Noah can tell! He knows the feeling of being covered in real blood.

[jaetyun]

can we get a kim tae rae as your secret boyfriend😌

Taerae as your secret boyfriend; a thread!

taerae x gn!reader

wc: 1.0k

fluff

a/n: this was a collab w the bestest ever @vie2sie 🫶🫶 check her out if you wanna see more of this!

you guys weren't one of those "private, not secret" relationships. it was FULL ON

your parents were too strict on dating. plus with you were in the popular clique the expectations from everyone had you avoiding relationships

and you were doing well

until ur loverboy showed up.

being caught with the schools most known CHOIR KID was not something taerae wanted for you.

so.. this was ur last resort.

not that you didn't love each other! you just kept it on the low

he would defo give you the most extra attention and affection when you'd finally be alone

according to him, it was his only chance since it "wasnt as often as other couples"

night walks and playing in the kids playground (also at night), was THE ideal meet ups.

and yes taerae would always forget his coat to make u cuddle him for warmth.

"its an accident babe!!" "im bringing a hoodie for you next time" ":("

whenever you both would be in school and he would noticed your signature scent, he'd look down before smiling in his locker idiotically.

if someone caught him being DOWN BAD - like doing exactly that, ^^, he'd say he got an a+ on his latest project (bc you were the best he could get 🤞)

eventually the relationship gets spilled because someone got too touchy!!!!

they would end up making taerae uncomfortable through no personal space, and then in you swoop and just randomly kiss him in front of the confessor

oh well.. so much for a secret!

you should've known better before dragging your shy boyfriend to the biggest school event of the year; hoco.

homecoming! it seemed perfect.. or so you thought.

what started as you would "run into each other" and wanting to "act friendly" became you watching him carefully whenever you guys werent engaged in conversation.

you styled him all cute, and between the way his eyes glistened and hair flowed perfectly, he was undeniably eye candy.

taerae never cared for dressing nicely, comfort over appearance in his book! but for this one special occasion, he allowed you to doll him up.

that was mistake #1. all the people approaching him had your eyes burning holes into the back of his skull.

“earth to y/n??” you peer back to your group of friends, softly smiling. you decided to shrug it off for now. taerae s a big boy, he can handle himself fine! even with the pit in your stomach telling you otherwise, you figured you shouldnt be a helicopter partner. i mean.. you guys arent even public

your patrolling became more scarce as time went on, mistake #2. slowly people turned into person, singular. they were *determined* to bring taerae home that night, which you were oblivious to.

his pleading glances become background noise to the drama your friend was spilling.

*ding ding*

what was that? a text! and its from your boyfriend. you glance his way, where you see that person still at it, touching him a little too often and for a little too long.

his eyes bored into you, as if he was asking you to do something. you sent each other telepathic messages with your expressions, with the conclusion being you’d put an end to their roaming hands.

“sorry, im gonna go get more snacks” you blatantly lied, going the opposite direction of the snack bar.

when you approached the two of them, the girl shared an unsuspecting smile.

“oh, y/n!” you gave a short wave, turning to taerae quickly.

“youve met?” you asked, leaving him to firmly shake his head. “not until this party” you slowly looked him up and down, truly taking in his beauty.

you dont blame her for wanting him, hell who wouldnt when he looks like *that*. you link your elbow with his, closing the gap.

“im glad to see you making new friends!”

“we’ll be more than friends after this~” she chimes, sending him a wink. his polite smile remained, even with the subtly eye twitch only you picked up on.

“oh? i didnt know she was your type” his eyes softened once the two of you made eye contact, his gaze staring at your features.

she scoffed out, crossing her arms and popping a hip.

“can you stop being such a bitch?”

you tilted your head condescendingly, the challenge in your eyes just barely being detected.

“im not being a bitch, am i?” your boyfriend mindlessly shook his head, muttering words of agreement to you. she rolled her eyes, pointing at you accusingly.

“you dont even date! ive been with him *all night* and now youre just.. suddenly into him? dont be jealous.” she clicked her tongue, victory written all over her face. people started looking over in curiosity. whys she yelling? you saw more heads turn, but at this point you could care less.

“jealous?” taerae spoke up, removing his arm from ours before wrapping it around your waist. “i think youre mistaken. theres nothing to be jealous over.” his tone made you dizzy, the smirk on his face making you feel as if you had just fallen for him for the second time.

his extra hand gently held onto your chin, pulling you into a quick kiss. she stared back in disbelief. the grin was long wiped off her face, and replaced by pure rage.

“what! but! when..” her stammering only increased, glancing between the two of you with about a million question swarming through her head.

“youre both absurd” she chokes out, storming herself out of the room. it became increasingly easier to ignore all the eyes glued to the two of you. will you end up regretting it tomorrow? who knows! all you could think about right now was the giddy smile on his face.

“why are you so happy?”

“i finally get to show the world youre mine” he kissed your forehead softly, and now you both shared the same expression.

when you finally give the crowd the time of day, all you did was lazily look side to side, facing him again.

“is this our cue to leave?” you chuckled, watching as he nodded in agreement.

taerae looked around as well, giving everyone a small acknowledging wave. “well be on your way!” he pointed towards the door, leading you out.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

OKAY OKAY! HEAR ME OUT

More in line with the idea of a much older general cast of MCD, may I present Vylad having a massive age gap with his brothers. Also the idea that Garroth had run away long before Vylad was born and in his guilt he used Zenix as a sort of replacement. To be a good big brother for the one he never got to meet.

It could also explain why Zianna was so willing to have an affair knowing the risks, she no longer believed she could get pregnant and Vylad was a miracle baby. It would also make more sense as to why Garte would keep him around. His oldest son had left and he knew that Zane could not be trusted to run O'khasis so an easy backup plan was formed should all else fail. So, imagine that Zane grew to resent Vylad and the mysterious circumstances around Young Vylad's death was not as mysterious, Zane had just had his brother assassinated.

Zane knew that he would never get the throne but Vylad is harder to manipulate than his older brother. He can't treat him as a puppet but Garroth can be walked around like a dog running purely on guilt. What would fuel that guilt more than a dead brother he never met and thus could never have protected?

Ah i love your brain (i think youve sent me another Older cast ask and i will find it and answer it soon i promise idk why i havent already)

The fact that Vylad then kind of... seeks him out as well

Vylad was in Phoenix drop before Aphmau showed up, presumably the lord died quite a while before MCD even begins so he's been there a while, and just the idea that this kid who never knew his older brother... died, and he's back now, and he's seeking him out, because he has to make sure someone is looking out for Garroth, making sure Zane isn't doing the things he wants to do.

He can't be a part of Garroth's world, he knows what he himself is, and he knows that trying to integrate himself into Garroth's life is only going to hurt when he has to leave it. Especially because he'll have to leave it badly, it's always badly when it's people like him. He can only watch from afar, imagine what could be, and he can do his best to protect Garroth - and he does, even if his best still gets Garroth injured.

Garroth and Vylad are both just ideas to each other. Vylad gets to imagine being alive, being happy, being Garroth's brother, and Garroth gets to imagine not failing his family, himself, everyone. But it would, ironically and inevitably, lead to Garroth's death and Vylad's failure if they were to meet, so there's a distance kept. It has to be. The line between fantasy and reality.

A line blurred by Zenix and Aphmau. Vylad is the person who easily knows the most about Aphmau - he was there when she spawned in, and has been observing her ever since. It's not a close bond, but it's... the closest he has. Garroth is likely the person who knows the most about Zenix - despite everything, despite it all, there was a knowing there, somewhere, even if it was nothing. Knowing a little bit about an unknown subject is still knowing the most about it. And yet... Vylad and Zenix end up in what seems like perpetual dual, always on the opposite ends of moral extremism to each other, Vylad doing whatever needs to be done to keep other people alive, and Zenix doing whatever needs to be done to keep himself alive. And Garroth and Aphmau is... ITS THE SHIPWAR SHIP IDK WHAT TO SAY

Which is all to say, from what they keep their distance from, they end up getting very close to something that the other cared about, they are getting close to each other but there is still a mountain of distance between them.

And this kind of ended up segregated to the original point, but i just. idk.

i like the idea that Vylad could get his brother back any time, but he just... won't. He has reasons, but at the end of the day, he's willingly making the decision to not be a part of Garroth's life. So they gotta have that bond elsewhere dude

[imaginespazzi]

hiii!!! first time anon and silent fan and follower of ALL ur fics!!! ive reread GH a billion times its so damn good your characterisation is impeccable and the way u write angst UNPARALLELED i live for it! every update from you makes MY day i live in australia so i wake up every Tuesday morning and allocate the first 20mins of my morning to a new chapter☺️☺️☺️

ANYWAYS decided i need to show my appreciation FOR CHAPTER 6 as it is 1000+/10 so here is my long review:

- Love love love all the description around the wedding details - to be known is to be loved and it’s only been a year…how could Olivia possibly know Paige the way azzi does. She really never stood a chance🫢

- Drew being “sick” and later saying “so she’s not stopping the wedding” - so endearing he just wants his pookie sister in law😭😭 i NEED an angsty scene with him and azzi in present time (how old would he be? Teens/early 20’s) where he’s clearly resentful about how everything went down

- Man Tim and Katie🥹🥹🥹 the NECKLACE my heartttttt. So gracious and supportive..would love to know if there was a part of them crushed by Paige not ending up their daughter in law

- Finding out on instagram about the pregnancy is insane i would have to be put down. Surely azzi did not find out about the wedding over instagram…surely……pls…..

- “the first thing you’re gonna see is your smile. And you’re gonna think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Just like I do” Paige’s way with words…Paige just can’t help it but ur heart breaks for azzi having to hear such beautiful things from her EX

- Paige crying alone in the tent crushed under the weight of both Azzi and Stephie in her heart ugh

- MAYBE MY FAVOURITE DIALOGUE YOUVE WRITTEN: Why is your daughter like this?” Paige demands, “how is she gonna make me cry and then send somebody else to wipe my tears.” “Why couldn’t she just have stayed?” the blonde questions, “why does she always have to overthink things and make it more complicated? Why can’t she just listen to her heart once in her fucking life? Why can’t she just let herself live? Why is it always no with her and never just yes?” - it’s v poetic but you’ve somehow managed to write it in a way that isn’t clunky but feels SO REALISTIC I can literally see the regressed 20 something version of Paige complaining to her defacto MIL about her girl problems. AMAZING

- NVM best dialogue you’ve ever written: “it’s the same one Tim had when he first met Azzi.” how does ur brain work like this?!!???????

- Steph guest appearance YAY! I wonder whether Steph ever makes fun of Azzi for how she named her child, or if they were already closer at that point. UNCLE TWIN☺️

- Naur Paige falling to her knees to catch Stephie - down astronomically bad it’s literally been a day i love them sooooooo much

- And then I yelled at Mama and it made Mama cry too and I hate making Mama cry.” - Paige and Stephie have so many similarities (purple, mint icecream etc) but the biggest thing - they BOTH love Azzi so much 🥺🥺🥺 what a privilege and simultaneously a terrifying prospect… that you are two people on the planet that can have the greatest capacity to impact her (both positive and negative)

- “that’s okay ‘cause I don’t miss.I’m Azzi Fudd’s daughter. Right Mama?” “Right baby,” This made me clucky fr! Stephie is spectacular give me 14 rn 👩‍🍼👩‍🍼👩‍🍼👩‍🍼👩‍🍼

- The constant theme of Azzi being content, having enough but not having everything she wants💔 she’s sacrificed so so much it hurts me how scared she is to accept that she could be happier

- I am a SUCKER for the trope where person 1 cannot stand seeing person 2 having a meltdown and person 2 goes to leave but person 1 cannot bear the thought of letting them go and hugs them ugh this story is like a MOVIE

- “You want me to say that I flew to Dallas once to tell you that I fucked up but then I saw you with Olivia and decided you deserved better than me-” the parallels to the UCLA fic and Paige seeing Azzi with Zoe..need to see this scene written PLEASE

- “It’s never too late for us,” Paige whispers before crashing her lips against the woman” Oh Lord here we go. This lowkey shocked me cannot lie - was NOT expecting this. V v curious about the aftermath of this….before day 1 of practise is CRAZY.

ANYWAYS WOW v v long review but i just needed to show my appreciation for this masterpiece! please know that this fic brings me infinitesimal joy and i cannot wait for the next chapter!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

OMG HI FRIEND (or I guess I should say mate like Australians lol?)!! Welcome to my inbox!

No one knows Paige the way Azzi does because Paige won't let anyone see her the way she lets Azzi see her

Drew is so absolutely done with these two dumbasses and had to make it very clear. I think Paige-Azzi were such an example to him and to have that taken has really made him cautious about love at the very raw age of 20 (that's how old he'd be in 2033 right?)

Paige always says the right things, the timing just isn't always the right one.

AH omg honestly it means much to me that you think my dialogues are realistic. Especially ones like that one where it's kinda heavy, I'm always a little self-conscious that maybe it sounds too speech-y and fake so I'm so glad it doesn't come off that way.

I think Steph and Azzi grew pretty close before Stephie because he was already her mentor but once she actually got to Golden State, he really took her under her wing and became more family than just mentor (Steph possibily teared up at the idea of Azzi naming her daughter after him)

Quite LITERALLY down bad lmao

The thing with Azzi, I think, is that she's a little scared to be loved. Like Azzi holds both Paige and Stephie's hand in the palm of her hands, and she's scared that she'll accident hold them too hard and crush them.

I do think there will be a flashback to Azzi flying to Dallas but tbd which chapter!

LMAO they're not very good at the taking it slow thing are they?

You are so very sweet and I appreciated this so very much!

[thisismeracing]

https://www.tumblr.com/thisismeracing/736258532149805056/sorry-if-youve-already-answered-this-but-what?source=share

*throws hat into the ring to talk about my hcs about bon as if i didn’t fucking make her up in my own head*

valtteri: i think her and val have the kind of relationship that her and lew have but on a smaller scale. she loves him like a brother but compared to lew, lew met her at 14 whilst val met her at 18. lew knew her and was an influence in her life as a kid while val got to be an influence in her early adulthood. she got five years with val, and in those five years she had the best duo of big brothers she could have asked for. they were probably the driving force of her getting out of that relationship that was bad for her. and it’s not like her and val aren’t close anymore, it’s just that with him being at alfa romeo now it’s hard to find time to hangout like they used to. with lew he’s just right there because the two of them work at merc while he doesn’t anymore. (side note: these three have a group chat that they still maintain where they used to coordinate hang outs but nowadays it’s mostly just life updates) (oh and val is the one who got her addicted to coffee through the many cafe lunches they had when he was at merc)

jenson: her and jense’s relationship is unmatched (barring lew, michael, and maybe seb) because he got to see and experience the woes of her in the literal fetus stage of her life (okay so she was ten, but still fetus) her og uncle of the paddock, the first driver to be added to her list of favorite drivers, yeah their time together on the same team was short but she was the first one she ever latched onto. and he always made time to go and see how his little menace was doing even though the team name had changed and he no longer drove for the team her dad worked for

fernando: while he was also present in her fetus years in the paddock, similar to val’s relationship with her, it was less so compared to the likes of jense. she probs calls him tío nando and goes to him when she wants candy because she knows he will give it to her. he taught her how to speak spanish, but at first it was just the curse words and nando was told “stop corrupting the youth” to the point bono had to step in and tell him if he didn’t stop he would not let bon go and see him anymore. so that’s when the normal spanish lessons began

kimi: i touched on this in another ask i sent in but kimi would be the one she would go to when she needed space from all the goings on in the paddock and through the many silent driver’s room hangouts she had with him in the ferrari garage built a very strong relationship between the two of them and she knew she could go to him for anything. one look at her while she opened his door and he was up out of the pace he was occupying and pulling her in to cuddle because he knows she needs to be grounded and calmed down from her surroundings

seb: i think her relationship with seb was very strong at some point, ala lewis, but after michael’s accident she pulled away because he reminds her too much of her uncle michael and how much she misses him. he was very present in her life because if michael was most likely was there he was too, being michael’s mentee and all. she has so many great memories with him. but not having michael around to be present to make more those great memories with him hurts too much, so she stays away until she gets with mick and she rekindles her relationship because seb is so present in mick’s life and it would be almost impossible to stay away from him

and it think this can be left unsaid but, bon’s favorite people: lew 🤝 michael

[i was going to touch in the younger drivers but i just dont think she would be as connected to them as she was with the older grid, maybe in another ask but thats all i got for now]

☕️

prev ask @treehouse-mouse

so she stays away until she gets with mick and she rekindles her relationship because seb is so present in mick’s life and it would be almost impossible to stay away from him // I feel like her relationship with mick (the friendship part of it, even before it comes love) taught bono baby a lot about trying to deal with her feelings, trying to understand it and to get close again to those she loves but is afraid to lose

[i-eat-mold]

cw: IF YOU THINK IM COOL AND YOU WANT TO KEEP THINKING THAT WAY THEN JUST SCROLL AWAY!!!

Not to be whiny on main but here is my niche complain of the day. Can you imagine being a child and knowing, not just thinking, but knowing something is deeply wrong with you, with the way you feel emotions n others n such. You try to bring it up a couple times because this cant be how everyone else feels? They would act a lot different?? but adults and friends just laugh it off, so you asume thats just how everyone else feels and it just seems weirder to deal with to you, so you shut up, and you keep this little thing inside you, this little secret about being wrong, so so so wrong, you take care of it like a little pet and convince yourself to not think much of it. Then you read Sherlock Holmes for the first time, you watch House MD for the first time, both probably too young. People laugh at them, consider them exaggerations and assume that no person could actually feel and act like that, right? But you do. God, you do, and if you were to say that outloud, best case scenario would be for it to be taken as a joke. So you say nothing, and that little pet of messed-up-ness keeps barking inside of you. Every time a character that you relate to acts like such, it is met in the same way by everyone around you, and the thing behind your throat keeps growing and growing with every realization of just how wrong you were made. And then you casually end up on some internet forum, and there is a stranger stating, word for word, all the thoughts and feelings youve ever had, every bark that thing has thrown at you. Turns out, youre not messed up. At least, youre not the only one that is messed up. You read more and more about the people talking about this, who experience this, and it is a perfect representation of the conversation you have had countless times inside your head imagining how would you explain yourself to someone else if they ever dug deep enough to find out. Damn.

Now i understand this has been a common experience for many people who grew up undiagnosed with autism, adhd, or many other things. If you relate to this, yay! I hope this makes you feel a little less alone in your experiences, and you got this. Though this might get more specific now.

You have found people that are just like you. You dont know any of them, but it must be real, right? how else could someone write word for word the most specific thoughts youve had all your life like theyre telling you about their day? So you find out what it is. Its an actual thing! It exists! you can finally name your little pet, you can finally pet it and say "its ok, you exist, you are real." So its an actual thing, you tell yourself, an actual medical condition. So you go, dig into every book in every library about the topic, trying to see if you can find anything that might help you understand yourself more. But library after library, book after book all you find is a simple list of symptoms written in the most despective way possible and pages and pages of tips for people to get away from you. It explains over and over how you are a rapist, a delinquent, incapable of caring, and ultimately a person you must stay away from at all costs. At the ripe age of 14. So you shut up and you keep that weird little pet of messed-up-ness to yourself.

OK RANT OVER GO BACK TO THINKING IM COOL

[harufluff]

hello, may I request soobin x shy reader with number 92 from the fluff prompt list??

Hope you’re doing well, have a great day 🥰😵‍💫

sorry it took so long anon…

'not so cheesy' c.sb

warnings - angry yunjin, mentions of a burn, bad writing lol

genre - fluff, fluff prompt list, soobin x shy!reader, non-idol au, soobin x barista!reader, #92 "My heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, I swear it isn’t, get ahold of yourself."

hi everyone! im working on the series right now so im not dead, but here is something fluffy for you :)) please feel free to request anything to me and I will try to get it done.

‘order 21!!’

your co-worker called out into the small cafe. you loved working here. there were books everywhere and it’s an easy breakfast in the morning. it was perfectly convenient.

it helped you practice being a little more social too. ever since you were a kid, you were shy and never liked talking to people. this job you had to and you figured that was good.

but there were things that were better than the others. you worked with your friend Yunjin. you met and the job and got along well so you have each other your numbers and here you are.

but one of the best things, is a customer that comes in every morning and buys the same thing every time. he buys a coffee and a cookie and go sits down in a corner booth. his name you don’t know, but he really is handsome.

Yunjin has been trying to convince you to ask for his name and number for the entire time he’s been coming in, but you just think it’s rude and embarrassing.

a middle aged women came up to the counter and showed you her number,

‘here we are, one americano. that’ll be $3.55 please’

you thanked her as she walked away. but just as she left the cafe, a tall man with black hair came in. the same man that you have had a bit of a crush on. he walked up to the counter and said to you,

‘i’ll have my usual please and a water today too please’

you nodded and got his usual cookie then brought it back to the counter for him along with the cold water. you were looking down until you got there and finally made eye contact with him. he was looking straight in the eyes with a soft smile.

‘i-i’ll bring your coffee o-over to your table when it’s done’

you said shakily, but all he did was nod and smile at you again before walking away to his usual booth in the corner.

‘YA L/N Y/N. WHAT WAS THAT’

yunjin said to you in a yell whisper than everyone could hear, regardless of her “whispering” it. youve told her before that you will never fall in love at a cafe because it was too cheesy. she personally thinks you and a man you have never met before are meant to be together.

you just gave her a glare before going over to the finished coffee for the customer. you walked it over to his table, your hands still a little shaky.

‘here’s your coffee s-‘

two inches away from the table the coffee spilled over the cup and onto your hand, the hot coffee burning like heck. you mange to get the coffee cup on the table before retracting your arms into your chest as the burning continued to get worse.

‘oh my gosh are you ok?’

he asked as he bent down slightly to get a look at your hand. you nodded violently, pretty much telling him that you were not on and you were just being a good employee. he gently took your hand in his and looked at the dark burn on your hand.

‘are you sure your ok? it doesn’t look like it’

he finally made you look at him and he looked taken aback for a reason you don’t know why. he pushed you back to sit in the seat he was once sitting in and grabbed a paper napkin, dipping in it in his water and kneaded on the floor in between your legs and held your hand while holding the paper towel to the burn.

‘your a lot prettier up close you know…’

you look at him with wide eyes, and when he looks up at you he chuckles at your reaction.

‘t-thanks’

‘this is kind of embarrassing but your the only reason i keep coming back here. my friend recommended this place to me and i saw you so i kept coming back’

he says looking away from you, his ears getting redder by the second.

‘i’ve seen you around too. your cute’

his expression changed in an instant...

'My heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, I swear it isn’t, get ahold of yourself.'

he said quietly to himself in almost a chant. you giggled at his pure cuteness. he stood up and you did as well. you bid your goodbyes and exchanged numbers.

maybe meeting at a cafe isnt so cheesy.

lord this was so bad...

© Harufluff 2022 | Do not copy, repost or claim my works.

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!