#i cant. explain the thought process here.

[sleepyblr-heart]

terrible vision that came into my mind as i was trying to go to sleep

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[cutiequisitor]

turning to my emotional support Tabloid

[ratspaguetti]

Splatoon headcanon- Fuzzy inkfish

Okay so! In splatoon 3, return of the mammalians, I was sorely disappointed when said mammalians where just...hairy and brainwashed, literally that's it, which had let me down so bad, given the fact that slight alteration of character model and brainwashing had already happened before (sanitization) and genuinely, the occasions haven't changed much behavior wise, so this is how I have headcanoned what should have actually happened in splatoon 3!

Behavior

Given the fact that the fuzzy ink fish are now mammalian, depending on the inkfish, they might hiss, scratch, bite, and attack like a wild animal, really depending on the type of animal they are based off of, I imagine most would be bearlike because it is Mr Grizz that made this happen, but imagine, a fuzzy inkling with Spirulas growing out of their head like sheep horns, completely ramming a another inkling a good couple of feet away! Making interesting gameplay! And given Japan seems to love cat girls (can't blame them) give a octoling some cat ears and very agile and bam! Happy fans- (I will probably talk more about behaviors in a different post)

They also do not use weapons! Given the fact they are mammals, they use their animal like features instead to fully attack [this is what will be explored in a different post]

Body

I need bullet points for these because there is a lot I wanna go through

Mammals aren't just fluffy creatures, they also have these cool nest things called bones and warm blood

So fuzzy ink fish will first experience "fever" like symptoms as their ink slowly heats up, and over a long period of time (depending on how much furry goop they have been exposed to and how long they have been a fuzzy inkfish) and go into a hibernation like state, when they come back to, their body will have had the changes, first, they are not hot blooded and have furr in their tentacles

Later on, their body will slowly shift to a more animal like appearance, like hands slowly enlongating and growing large claws, more hunched like posture to more easily run in four legs, growing new teeth that are more mammalian in nature (could be herbivore, could be carnivore) some will grow more furry along their extremities as well, some will even grow more animal like ears and eyes

At this stage, most of these bodily changes are still reversible with enough medical equipment, as the ink fish are still majorly cartilage and ink, so they can be reformed (kinda how they can still change into a squid or octopus)

Yet, when their bones start to grow, these changes are mostly irreversible, bones will form after a good couple of months, this will make fuzzy inkfish tanks compared to normal ink fish, the skeletal structure has downsides however, like the inability to turn into a squid/octopus anymore, given the fact that you can't really shapeshift into something as small as a squid, where would all those bones go??

But their inability to shapeshift smaller does not mean they cannot shapeshift at all, by or consuming the fuzzy ooze or ink, their body will grow in size, and they take a much more animal like shape, like how a human where to turn into a werewolf, in this form, they do high amounts of damage by the swings of their claws

Their bones and thicker skin would also do that one think most inklings and octolings can't do, get in water, cuz let's be honest, unless the oceans are actual acid, having a body with thicker skin, bones and muscle tissue, probably makes these Fuzzy Inklings/octolings able to actually swim!

Also, when their skeletal structure is growing, they will likely also grow tails (you can't have tails otherwise, yah need the spindle bones to make it, no-?)

I'll continue all this later- it's just my ideas I've been thinking of-

[cerealmonster15]

kiss marry kill crewel trein vargas

WHFJWKJFKLDSJF wait omg i gotta think about this one for a minute. i love overthinking these things LOL!!! hang on lemme try and make a case for them all, weigh the pros and cons before deciding...

so like im pretty close in age to vargas and crewel so that gives them a bias to the first two but fksdjfhsdj i do like trein 😔 i like how much he cares about his cat and his students and his daughters 🥺 hes been married before and it SOUNDS like hes had a pretty loving family relationship from what we've heard. i feel like that makes a decent case for marriage, also he's a cat lover and im a cat lover so tbh not a bad consideration. HOWEVER he is still old enough to be my father and has a more old fashioned way of life that i think maybe would clash a lil jkdjfskf

vargas is so funny but hes so stressful LOL JFKLDSJFSDLJ i'm obsessed with his vargas camp thing. like he's so nuts for that... taking the children camping and then kidnapping and hunting them for sport to train them or whatever the hell his plan was there. and roping crewel into the second one lol 😭😭😭 it's so bonkers but it's soooo funny. like i think he'd stress me out w/how fitness oriented he is (I enjoy physical activities and i practice martial arts but lowkey his fixation reminds me a little of my father and i dont like that association LOL 😬) BUT i do love comedy. so i could be swayed i suppose. maybe. jsdklfhsg

and then crewel is def very pretty but also stressful LOL DSJKFLSD THERYE ALL STRESSFUL this is the game about stressful characters after all. his temper scares me but i do like that he also cares about his students in those moments where it matters,,, i also think it's very funny that he was convinced to join vargas in hunting down the children in camp fjsdklhgds AND that he's partially responsible for beanfest Being The Way That It Is. i like whenever we learn teacher lore like this kjfdsjfkl this man was too aggro of a rebel and changed the course of the game or whatever. but also hes a dog person and i have learned in my life that i generally cannot live with dogs due to how I operate as a person 😶 but considering his whole THING is that he is a MEGA DOG LOVER AND. well i think he has dogs. i assume he does. i actually cant remember if he literally does have pet dogs or just makes that his aesthetic FJKSDJFKLSJFJ i think he does. i remember he and trein at least but heads over many things and one of them being cats vs dogs l o l. i like some dogs but they do not pair well with my sound sensitivity i think it would just Not Work jfksljfldshfg

this just tells me i dont wanna marry any of them LOL ☠️ i'd pick sam if i could, hes fun i like him 😔 FDSJKFJSDKLGH but i will play by the rules ummm um um ummmm.... i dont want to kill them either lol i like them!!! i do this any time my partner throws a question like this at me too lol im like okay hang on lemme lay out the facts and think critically about the situation 🤔 KJFDLKSHFLKSDJG

okay fuck it i think marriage goes to vargas. i was close to picking trein but even looking past the age thing i still think he'd be too ~old fashioned~ w/his mindset and i very much don't care for living life traditionally,, also i dont think we know how old his daughters are exactly except that theyre 'grown up' so theyre probably around my age tbh and that would Feel Weird dsfjlkdsgh everything else was nice tho i'm sorry trein. in another life i think i wouldve liked to co-parent lucius w/u 😔 i think vargas could be fun tho. he's sillystrange and i would perhaps partake in martial arts with him. i cant decide if he'd be too scary about it and brute force his techniques [which SUCKS and is NOT FUN when people do that!!!] or if he'd be like on top of having good form and doing it well skldfhsdklfj who knows....... BUT THIS AINT ABOUT THAT I NEED TO MOVE ON!!!!!!

and then kiss. if we are going fully superficial quota here then yeah my initial thought would be kiss crewel lol he's pretty what can i say 😔

I'M SO SORRY TREIN THAT JUST LEAVES YOU LAST IN THE KILL SLOT NOOOO AUGH i tried so hard to fight for him [??? fighting myself??? whatever LOL] bc i felt like it's too cliche to be like "idk hes old" so i wanted to give him fair consideration 😭😭😭 I LIKE HIM!!!!! I LIKE THE FACULTY!!!!!!!

anyway thank u this fully distracted me for like 30 minutes LOL um. who would u pick tho 👀

[princessmishaps]

sometimes i wonder if enchanted was the only song she put on the speak now portion of tour because it was what she wanted the album to be titled in the first place. really puts emphasis on that track almost?

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ��well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

[thisisasupergoodidea]

sooooooo… middle of the year writing update…

im still chipping away at my plot outlines. multiple. i started working on one WIP and then got stuck and jumped to another and then got bored and jumped to a third. and then i figured some good shit out for the first one so i went back. now im just roaming around the ideascape as i please

its not terribly efficient, but nothing i do is. its been fun, at least. i really would like to talk about how much i have written, but i feel like its pointless at this moment bc nothing is exactly set in stone yet

oh and ive also been trying to get back into my poems as well. when my brain needs a puzzle of a different flavor. the eventual plan is to make a little horror themed poetry zine or something. maybe even just for myself, not to sell. u dont know how much i need something i wrote to be in a form that i can hold in my hands. with pages and ink

anyway. the WIPs remain WIPs

[bellflower-goat]

>:((((

[averageludwig]

Demosolly as fucking ... Bubbline ... From that one universe.... This came to me in a dream and i woke up frantically to draw it. . at . er 2 am on a school day. . cough. I Might have a problem 😁 i cant explain my thought process here if you get it .... You get it. ..

[iamtired10]

open your window

pairing - best friend! pham hanni x basketball player! female reader

synopsis - sneaking into pham hanni’s house at 2 am through her window was practically a tradition by now. you’ve done it countless times before, but tonight feels... different.

genre - pure fluff

warnings - drunk asf, swearing, and a whole lot of cute.

word count - 1.9k

— requested!

it was 2 a.m.

the time when the world outside is quiet, still, and wrapped in the embrace of sleep.

but for pham hanni, her peaceful night was disrupted by the soft buzzing of her phone on the nightstand, pulling her out of her half-asleep daze.

she squinted at the screen, trying to make out the words through her sleepy haze.

owl leader

opeb ur damn wimdoe, yanni

fvckkksjxioskejfydiej

it's freezinh out herrre

the neighbor's betch is barkimg its lungs out

dont wanna get caught by the atttractibe ghost rn skdifiif

hawhiny

...

i have a lot of nasty things to say, but let's start with this: fuck you.

owl leader

han my sweet fluffy bestie-of-the-century pooookoe bear OPEM THR DAMN FOOR

i cant stand on this sketchy-ass ladder any longer

fckkkkk it's about to collapse wljjfirowkhsgd

hawhiny

🙄

hanni groaned, her warm, cozy blanket hugging her tightly, tempting her to stay in bed.

the thought of getting up at this ungodly hour to let you in was the last thing she wanted to do.

but she knew better.

if she didn’t get up now, you'd definitely do something worse, and her night would go from bad to worse.

dragging herself out of bed with an exaggerated sigh, she padded across the room, still half-asleep, and peeked out of the window. there you were, face pressed against the glass, knocking as if your life depended on it, mouthing exaggeratedly, “OPEN THE WINDOW!”

“romeo’s here, babe! your romeo has arrived!”

hanni raised an eyebrow at the sight of you, swaying unsteadily on a ladder you most likely stole from one of the neighbors. she unlocked the window, cracking it open just enough to speak, “can’t you, for once in your life, act like a normal person and use the damn door? you’re going to get yourself killed, and i’ll have to explain why my best friend fell off a ladder at 2 a.m. because she’s a complete idiot.”

“i’m just trying to be romantic, my sweet juliet!” you slurred dramatically, struggling to keep your balance on the ladder. “f-finally, you opened up! i was freezing out here... about to turn into an icicle!”

hanni rolled her eyes, knowing all too well what was going on. she could tell just by the way your words slurred together and how you couldn’t stand still for a second.

“are you drunk?” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she opened the window wider and reached out to you.

“nah, nah… i’m just a little tipsy. nothing major, i promise.” you grinned at her, clearly not fooling anyone.

hanni gave you a look of disbelief. “uh-huh, sure. and what exactly are you doing here, stumbling around my window at 2 in the morning?”

she extended her hand to you, helping you climb in through the window, though you were so unsteady on your feet that you almost dragged her down with you.

you stumbled inside, barely managing to stay upright as you grabbed onto her hand. “well, first of all, i missed my juliet!” you declared proudly. “and secondly… WE WON THE MATCH!! BABY, LET’S GOOOO!!”

you threw your arms up in the air triumphantly, nearly knocking over hanni’s lamp in the process.

hanni flinched, quickly steadying the lamp before it could crash to the ground. “could you not scream at the top of your lungs? you’re going to wake everyone up,” she whisper-yelled, glaring at you as she hit your head.

you pouted, rubbing the spot on your head where she’d lightly smacked you. “you didn’t have to hit me! that’s child abuse, pham hanni! i could report you for that.”

“child abuse? please. you’re acting like a 5-year-old,” hanni muttered under her breath.

“you don’t understand…” you slurred. “we won the basketball match! i had to celebrate! it’s basically my job to get tipsy after a win. besides, i needed to see my Juliet.”

“right, because there’s no other reason to climb a ladder in the middle of the night,” hanni deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked down at you.

“hey, hey… don’t forget, i’m banned from your house, remember?” you pouted, looking up at her with big, sad eyes.

hanni sighed. “yeah, banned because you broke my mom’s favorite vase trying to show off your basketball skills. she’s still pissed about that, you know.”

“i swear, i didn’t mean to! jasmine was—” you paused, blinking up at her. “wait, wait, it’s fine, right? she’s not still mad about that, is she?”

“trust me, she’s over it. you’re just making excuses because you like sneaking in through the window,” hanni said, rolling her eyes.

“maybe... but, seriously, i’m romeo! you’ve gotta have a romeo in your life, and i volunteered!”

“you do realize romeo was a fucking DUDE, right?”

“details, details,” you waved her off, attempting to steady yourself but immediately losing your balance and tripping over your own feet.

you landed face-first on the floor with a loud thud.

“ow! my pride…” you groaned dramatically, holding your head.

hanni sighed, rubbing her temples as if you were giving her the world’s biggest headache. “you’re such a disaster. you’re going to wake my mom, and then we’re both dead.”

“she won’t do anything to me,” you mumbled into the floor. “she thinks i’m cute. but jasmine? oh, she’s gonna stir up everything and make your life miserable.”

hanni couldn’t help but laugh a little. “my sister? yeah, she’d definitely throw us under the bus.”

you finally managed to sit up, blinking at her. “so… what’s the plan now? do i get cuddles or what?”

hanni was dead tired.

her body screamed for the comfort of her bed, to sleep off the entire exhausting day.

she’d already argued with you for ten straight minutes, mostly because all she really wanted to do was crash. but she couldn’t just leave you alone like this—you were flailing around like an octopus. drunk as hell, stumbling and knocking over everything, and honestly, you were about two seconds away from destroying more than just her mom’s vase.

“god, you’re such a pain in my ass,” hanni muttered under her breath, rubbing her temples as she glanced at you as you dramatically throwing yourself backward onto her bed, draping an arm over your face

“why?” you shot back. “for coming through your window? you should be thanking me! you’ve got yourself a romeo climbing up here, risking life and limb to see you. who else would do that for you, huh? i missed you so much today. seriously, i came here to steal my juliet away! admit it—you love it when i do this.”

hanni stared at you like you had three heads. “again... romeo was a fuckin’ guy, you idiot.”

you giggled, rolling over and waving your arms dramatically. “well, i’m your female romeo. so come here and cuddle me! romeo demands cuddles.”

“why would i even do that?” hanni asked, still eyeing you with mild annoyance, even though the corners of her lips twitched, trying to suppress a laugh.

you blinked at her, pouting as you sat up. “c’mon, han han! you love me, right? so just cuddle me.”

she crossed her arms and sighed, but there was a softness in her eyes now. “alright, fine. but stay quiet, or my mom will—”

before she could even finish her sentence, you flung yourself onto her, wrapping her in a tight, almost suffocating hug. “there it is. my cuddly juliet,” you mumbled against her shoulder, eyes already half-shut as you melted into her.

hanni groaned. “you’re insane.”

you nodded sleepily, barely registering her words. “yeah, but i’m also insanely in love with you.”

the words spilled out of your mouth in a drunken slur, but the way you said it—so soft, so genuine—made hanni’s heart skip a beat.

for a moment, her eyes widened in shock, but she quickly brushed it off, chalking it up to the alcohol talking.

as the two of you lay there in silence, you nestled against her like a clingy cat, the peace only lasted a few minutes before your drunken brain sparked back to life.

“oh, right… forgot to ask you… the trillion-dollar question: how was your amazing date with anton lee today?”

hanni stiffened beside you, a noticeable tension creeping into her posture. “it was fine,” she mumbled, trying to sound indifferent, but there was an edge in her voice.

“fine?” You lifted your head, frowning. “no, no, no. that doesn’t sound fine. something went wrong, didn’t it? spill. i’ll break his legs if he did anything. seriously, just say the word.”

hanni exhaled, clearly not wanting to rehash the evening, but knowing you wouldn’t let it go.

“we went to see a movie, but honestly, it was kinda boring. and then we had dinner, but the entire time, he just kept talking about himself. like, dude’s obsessed with himself—he’s probably not straight, not bi, but fully autosexual. who the hell talks about themselves that much on a date? he was like, 'look at what i did,' 'i’m so amazing,' 'blah blah blah.' i was sitting there, trying not to lose my mind.”

you burst into uncontrollable laughter, snorting at the mental image of hanni suffering through the date while anton babbled on.

“oh my god, i would’ve paid to see that. but you should’ve let me take you out instead. we’d have gone somewhere fun, like a carnival or something.”

hanni rolled her eyes. “a carnival? you? please. you’d trip and fall off the first ride.”

“rude,” you said, pouting. “but i wouldn’t fall if i had you to hold my hand. i’ve got experience, remember? i’m your romeo after all.”

hanni chuckled softly, shaking her head. “yeah, yeah. anyway, what are you even going to do after graduation? you gonna work at a carnival?”

you paused, your playful demeanor dropping for a second. “i don’t know, han. sometimes i think about it, y’know? like, what comes next after university?”

the shift in your tone caught her off guard, and she glanced over at you, surprised. “yeah… i think about that too. it’s scary sometimes, isn’t it? the whole 'what comes next' thing.”

“yeah…” you sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “like, will we still be close? or will we drift apart like everyone else does after uni? my parents are all over me about my future, but i just wanna stick to basketball and… figure it out later.”

hanni’s heart tightened at your words. the thought of drifting apart from you felt like something she wasn’t ready to deal with.

“we won’t. i promise. we won’t drift apart.”

you hummed in response, your voice soft and tired. “good… ‘cause i don’t wanna lose you, han. you’re too precious. if you go away, whose window am i gonna climb?”

hanni chuckled, leaning her head against yours. “right…”

“by the way, your hair smells nice,” you mumbled, your sleepy voice slurring again as you nuzzled into her neck. “what shampoo do you use again?”

hanni rolled her eyes, her hand absentmindedly stroking your back. “you’ve asked me that a million times. don’t act like you don’t know.”

“rude…” you muttered, your voice trailing off as sleep overtook you. “anyway, i love your shampoo and… smdhidkdheuxu…”

you were out cold, leaving hanni shaking her head in disbelief.

“not this dork falling asleep after confessing her love to my shampoo,” she mumbled, glancing down at your peaceful face, your breathing steady as you slept against her.

her annoyance melted away as she watched you sleep, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

maybe you were right.

she really did love it when you climbed through her window just to see her.

maybe… just maybe, she loved it more than she’d ever admit to herself.

a/n - my brain hurts 🤕

[ganondoodle]

(OC Lore and design time!)

(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)

i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D

so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;

at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-

Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)

Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries

However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it

only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)

alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)

[jellitchi]

vat7k designs in my head...

i thought their canon designs were a eensy weensy bit Unpolished so i made these mostly for myself. erm if u rly want it i think varian is 19 here, hugo 19, nuru 18, yong 12.

i also made rhem all playlists and had to draw them a cover so thats what the last img is I linked each of em under my notes for all of em... Under the cut is Like a Huge Infodump of notes i have for each chara,,,,,,

i kept varians design basically the same, i dislike the design w the orange neck thing so i just Nuked it😭... Here's Varians playlist

Hugos design i just wanted to put him in something more Loose. hes a thief, a professional escape artist. i dont think wearing clunky metal is ideal for him. i also gave him a prosthetic arm (blond w no arm design trope!) but u cant see it in the ref so i added another drawing of him in his under layering👍 i vaguely referenced russian(?) clothes for him as well... Yeah not too much changed w him i just tried to make him slippery-er. Here's Hugo's playlist

yong came relatively easy to me, if it wasn't obvious i did rip gaming from g*nshin's hoodie. i thought the lion hood was Adorable and freaking perfect for what i had in mind for hos character. since the og notes said the fire kingdom is loosely Chinese inspired i basically just kept that. i mashed tgt a buncha diff dynasties though sorry for how inconsistent i was... i think he looks Okay. anyways i changed yongs role a bit, ill explain why im adjusting some of their roles later but i kept yong as the Jinx Type character. hes the eldest in his family and has a buncha younger siblings, hes a lion dancer and does performances w his family/siblings. he rly like special effects n keeps tryna incorporate his fireworks into their performances (it flops and he has to sew up the dmg) ill explain more of yongs role in another post maybe shrugs... Here's Yong's Playlist

miss nuru was a bit of a struggle for me i might share my full design process with her coz i did a Bunch of mockups for her😭😭😭... i didnt have a specific country of reference for her but i chose to make her vaguely south asian inspired. i also really wanted to keep the sheer fabric w the star / constellation map. i love that idea its so cute so shes still technically the navigator. but she also wields a sword too, fencing or whatever. (her and varian r Huge Cass fangirls which is probably why she started tryna use a sword (snuck out to watch cass compete) Okay ill talk abt this later) in my head, okay ill Probably make a whole nother post talking abt how im interpreting/writing each chara, but in my head i think nuru is the youngest and her kingdom's archivist. shes mostly in charge of like Her kingdoms history / artifacts / etc. ok im getting too side tracked ill save the lore dump for later but thats Nurus role in the party. Here's Nuru's Playlist

uhm below i made their character stats mostly to help me with planning / role developing. the yellow is their base stats the color behind is their end stats i guess. i was gonna explain my reasoning for their stats but ermm this post is kinda Really long so sorry😭... varian max int for obvious reasons, also max charisma just coz i feel like u kinda learn a thing or two being around a couple manipulators and spending time in jail idk shrugs... (also lets not forget the "ud b surprised what ppl would do for a cookie!") Hugo slippery guy, if a brick is thrown at him as hes running hes gonna try n run faster to shatter it, his mindset is Run Run Run! i think hes relatively agile too but yeah mostly a Speedster. i think he n varian got no Physical strength varian maybe just like A little coz Farm boy but I rly doubt quirin is making him do a Lotta heavy lifting. yong has incredible stamina and agility because hed a performer. nuru is the strongest coz this team would literally Flop without a proper Offense😭... i think varian n hugo r able to outwit plenty of their opponents but i think nuru is pretty good in a fight, same w yong. Yeah Okay Sorry for a Long Long Post thanks hope u guys enjoy

[mummer]

just saw asteroid city last night, pls explain the proposed significance of the kiss!!

answering this publicly hope thats ok! cant do a readmore im on mobile *****asteroid city spoilers below beware*****

i dont remember anyones names so this is gonna sound partly unhinged. okay so the edward norton playwright and jason schwartzman actor (not character, in the black and white parts) are lovers right. tbh i thought this was kind of a gag and forgot about it. but later we find out that the playwright died 6 months into the production. i didnt make the connection that THAT’s why the actor-jason has to suddenly leave the stage and freaks out backstage about how he’s not sure he’s Doing it right. hes not talking about acting!! because he himself is literally grieving his lover while he’s playing a character who’s grieving his wife written by his lover so obviously it’s too much!!! actor-jason is trying to find meaning in his death through his writing but there isnt any meaning in death [gerris drinkwater voice] which is what the play is trying to say anyway. he doesnt think he’s performing grief right even in his own life!!! (and tbh it’s the 50s so he wouldnt be able to perform grief publicly anyway!!!!) the play starts with a car accident… anyone would search for some hidden meaning there, some sign…. so when he talks to margot robbie outside it’s not really about finding the CHARACTER’s motivations it’s about the actor himself being able to process the playwright’s death! and adrien brody director was probably also dealing with that too (him and norton seemed to be good buddies) so the whole “sleeping backstage” thing gets a bit sadder maybe? maybe everyone else got this in the theatre and im just stupid lol but crazy making stuff to me!!! the whole story is about sublimated gay grief that cannot be expressed?!?!

the tweet that caught me onto this was here which posits that the playwright’s death was a suicide but i think that’s pretty stupid and unnecessary because the whole thing about the play asteroid city is that death is random and meaningless. im pretty sure that’s what the alien represents— a shocking and absurd event that isnt outright evil or menacing, not something anyone can predict or make sense of, it’s just a thing that happens to you out of nowhere, it doesnt mean anything. he’s a little black figure, he’s death! giving and taking! aagh

[kraviolis]

i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy​

full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot

ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.

she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.

he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.

(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)

similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.

unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)

belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.

hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.

he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.

they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.

thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.

[jealousmartini]

So I minishifted to my kpop idol dr last night and I'm loosing my mind

Lowkey still kinda freaking out about it because it's only just when the realisation settled in that I FUCKING SHIFTED. AND TWO OF MY FATTEST CRUSHES WERE STOOD RIGHT THERE. FUCK. OKay let me explain what happened before I IMPLODE!😆

So given how startled I was when I woke up in what i assume is my studio room? (It was a pretty cute studio and looked like it WOULD be mine🤭🤞🏾) I was only there for a good 2 minutes before freaking out and shifting back like the COWARD I AM, so I'll tell you everything that happened whilst I was there😁

Okay so first of all, I woke up in "my" studio right next to my group leader Mei and my other best friend on the other end and I was SO confused at the time because I was trying to figure out where I was. I didn't understand why I was in a different room but like at the same time it felt familiar.

But anyway, I felt so comfortable and warm and realised it was because I had a really soft blanket wrapped around my body, which I suspect was from one of my members?? Maybe?? and then Mei looked over at me and noticed I was awake, she was like "Youre finally awake Keesh" and rubbed my back so gently i could have fallen asleep right there and then again. It was like I got a taste of satisfaction for my touch starved self.

And GOSH her voice was so much more raspy than I thought it was going to be i was quite taken aback😭😭 and her face sculpted by Aphrodite herself kinda switched to a concerned expression when she saw me looking around the room frantically like I didn't know where I was, she asked me if everything was alright, and I couldn't even reply with my voice because I was so stunned so I nodded weakly with most unconvincing smile ever because I was still processing what the hell was going on.

Then suddenly, I heard like two worryingly familiar male voices coming close to the studio room we were in☹️☹️(internally i was like FUCK OFF I cant do this rn). My head literally snapped to the door when i heard it creek open and standing right there was the glorious man he is, Min Yoongi, leaning on the door frame (with long black hair btw) and the gorgeous man he is, Jimin, peaking his head through from behind the door😭😭 (I think i remember him being Blonde?). When I tell you my pulse picked up at a million miles per second. Seeing Yoongi and Jimin in the flesh is something else you guys. And to say Yoongi is intimidating is an UNDERSTATMENT☠️☠️ those two were so hot oh my GOD. I was lowkey panicking because I was NOT prepared to come face to face with AANYONE from my kpop dr nevermind BTS☠️☠️ even though i intended to shift there last night.

But anyway, i heard Yoongi ask my members ask if I was still asleep because my food was getting cold, and Mei said, "Oh yeah, yeah, she just woke up.." and Immediately placed my head back on the table and covered my face with the blanket, PRAYINGGG she'd think I fell back asleep WHICH SHE DID THANK GOD🙏🏾 and right before I woke up here I heard Jimin saying something like "you should wake her up before he eats it all??" He was giggling while he was saying that, too. And then I shifted back here.

OH AND LET ME NOT FORGET TO ADD, THIS ENTIRE DIALOGUE WAS IN KOREAN?? AND I UNDERSTOOD IT ALL.

This experience is actually one of my most scariest/exciting/crazy ones ever. Not even just because I shifted there, but because of what happened prior to the shift. Me and my best friend were yapping to each other about BTS, and we were talking about the signs we picked up on and then the realisation I came to. The moment me and my friend and I made this silly girl group as a joke, it seems that we created a butterfly effect in our reality. And now, whatever sign I get about BTS, "coincidentally," always links back to my girl group.

Anyway so yeah idk wether or not I want to shift back because LORD I CRAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN but like I am so intimidated by Yoongi and even Jimin I might just freak out the next time I see them again😭😭 @livingmydreamlife5555 @samara444 @4ellieluv @theshifterbear