#actually im kind of just this way fundamentally i think but especially with Thing I Spend Time Thinking About Daily sdkjfjsdklfh

[cerealmonster15]

kiss marry kill crewel trein vargas

WHFJWKJFKLDSJF wait omg i gotta think about this one for a minute. i love overthinking these things LOL!!! hang on lemme try and make a case for them all, weigh the pros and cons before deciding...

so like im pretty close in age to vargas and crewel so that gives them a bias to the first two but fksdjfhsdj i do like trein 😔 i like how much he cares about his cat and his students and his daughters 🥺 hes been married before and it SOUNDS like hes had a pretty loving family relationship from what we've heard. i feel like that makes a decent case for marriage, also he's a cat lover and im a cat lover so tbh not a bad consideration. HOWEVER he is still old enough to be my father and has a more old fashioned way of life that i think maybe would clash a lil jkdjfskf

vargas is so funny but hes so stressful LOL JFKLDSJFSDLJ i'm obsessed with his vargas camp thing. like he's so nuts for that... taking the children camping and then kidnapping and hunting them for sport to train them or whatever the hell his plan was there. and roping crewel into the second one lol 😭😭😭 it's so bonkers but it's soooo funny. like i think he'd stress me out w/how fitness oriented he is (I enjoy physical activities and i practice martial arts but lowkey his fixation reminds me a little of my father and i dont like that association LOL 😬) BUT i do love comedy. so i could be swayed i suppose. maybe. jsdklfhsg

and then crewel is def very pretty but also stressful LOL DSJKFLSD THERYE ALL STRESSFUL this is the game about stressful characters after all. his temper scares me but i do like that he also cares about his students in those moments where it matters,,, i also think it's very funny that he was convinced to join vargas in hunting down the children in camp fjsdklhgds AND that he's partially responsible for beanfest Being The Way That It Is. i like whenever we learn teacher lore like this kjfdsjfkl this man was too aggro of a rebel and changed the course of the game or whatever. but also hes a dog person and i have learned in my life that i generally cannot live with dogs due to how I operate as a person 😶 but considering his whole THING is that he is a MEGA DOG LOVER AND. well i think he has dogs. i assume he does. i actually cant remember if he literally does have pet dogs or just makes that his aesthetic FJKSDJFKLSJFJ i think he does. i remember he and trein at least but heads over many things and one of them being cats vs dogs l o l. i like some dogs but they do not pair well with my sound sensitivity i think it would just Not Work jfksljfldshfg

this just tells me i dont wanna marry any of them LOL ☠️ i'd pick sam if i could, hes fun i like him 😔 FDSJKFJSDKLGH but i will play by the rules ummm um um ummmm.... i dont want to kill them either lol i like them!!! i do this any time my partner throws a question like this at me too lol im like okay hang on lemme lay out the facts and think critically about the situation 🤔 KJFDLKSHFLKSDJG

okay fuck it i think marriage goes to vargas. i was close to picking trein but even looking past the age thing i still think he'd be too ~old fashioned~ w/his mindset and i very much don't care for living life traditionally,, also i dont think we know how old his daughters are exactly except that theyre 'grown up' so theyre probably around my age tbh and that would Feel Weird dsfjlkdsgh everything else was nice tho i'm sorry trein. in another life i think i wouldve liked to co-parent lucius w/u 😔 i think vargas could be fun tho. he's sillystrange and i would perhaps partake in martial arts with him. i cant decide if he'd be too scary about it and brute force his techniques [which SUCKS and is NOT FUN when people do that!!!] or if he'd be like on top of having good form and doing it well skldfhsdklfj who knows....... BUT THIS AINT ABOUT THAT I NEED TO MOVE ON!!!!!!

and then kiss. if we are going fully superficial quota here then yeah my initial thought would be kiss crewel lol he's pretty what can i say 😔

I'M SO SORRY TREIN THAT JUST LEAVES YOU LAST IN THE KILL SLOT NOOOO AUGH i tried so hard to fight for him [??? fighting myself??? whatever LOL] bc i felt like it's too cliche to be like "idk hes old" so i wanted to give him fair consideration 😭😭😭 I LIKE HIM!!!!! I LIKE THE FACULTY!!!!!!!

anyway thank u this fully distracted me for like 30 minutes LOL um. who would u pick tho 👀

[yo9urt]

finished umbrella academy ... !

[genderkoolaid]

expand on ur "mental asylum Marxism shit" thing about children & grief?? from what you've said im pretty sure i will relate from my own experiences as a grieving child. also it sounds interesting!!

so i was thinking about how weird it is that, when a child has to deal with the death of a loved one, they say something like "no child should have to go through this! no child should have to even think about death!" which strikes me as weird because i was a child who dealt with the deaths of multiple close family members, very close together. the first was my great-grandmother, who i lived with and who was my best friend. death was never foreign to me (my mom has always been very death-positive on top of all that). grief was just part of my life like everything else was.

but i realized that its because people think childhood should not have any flaws. you should be 100% happy and fulfilled all the time. any time a child experiences anything painful, its bad. not "children should have access to love and support," but "children should not have basic life experiences because the idea of childhood being anything other than fluffy purity scares me."

because children in society are fundamentally not people. especially in a society structured around christian beliefs in natural law theory, that what is natural = what is good, healthy, and Divinely commanded. so on top of children being the property of adults, they are also forced to be the symbols of Nature. whatever is the most useful to whoever needs them. which means we built up this idea of children as tabula rasas, pureness incarnate. like a magic mirror where if we look into it, we'll be able to catch a glimpse of the true face of humanity. every single thing children do can be scrutinized for some grand truth about humans as a whole. and then, the ways children are treated also reflect how we think humanity should interact with its own nature.

example: the idea of humanity as inherently sinful and wicked, with that urge needing to be suppressed through state violence (hello hobbes) = the idea that children are annoying and shitty on purpose and need to be forced via punishment into being Good Citizens.

this is also why children cannot be trans, even though all trans people must prove that we were trans children. being queer must be unnatural; and even if not, its inherently sexual, and sexuality is dirty and bad. so children can't be trans, and they also can't read books on puberty until their parents decide when and what exactly they are allowed to learn. child victims of sexual assault only matter to the extent that they can be used as a symbol of a cultural threat; calling Jewish or trans people pedophiles means saying that they are foreigners attacking basic human nature, and indirectly, Divine command. if you aren't the right kind of victim, or when you inevitably reveal yourself to be A Person with complicated experiences and opinions, you are no longer of use to the agenda.

it sucks that bad things happen to anyone. aspects of youth can exacerbate the pain sometimes, but sometimes it does the reverse: I wish I could have spent more time with the family members I lost, but I know other people who are glad they loss family members young, because they weren't really hurt by it. I think the main thing is that, even sometimes when we talk about our past selves, we project this cultural idea of Child As Purity and ignore the actual person having the experience. when we "empathize" with children by projecting Purity onto them, we aren't actually connecting with them.

[pajamas-lipstick]

The last 4 episodes have been such a rollercoaster and full of so many great moments - comedic and beautiful and heartbreaking.

The thing i can't get over in both the original version of events around Sol's attack and the current one she's working to prevent is how damn brave Sun Jae is. In both scenarios he has an unrequited crush on someone who barely notices him and yet he fiercely and courageously not only saves Sol but is determined to bring the perpetrator to justice. His witness statement was so clear and just and calm - he was unflinching in the face of danger. We see this echoed in his statement to Sol that he's ok with getting hurt if he can protect her - he loves her yes, but he's also a fundamentally brave and heroic person, who trusts his heart - just as Sol is. As so many others have said, they are both reaching out through time, space and fate to rescue each other. Sol also trusts her heart and is similarly unflinching in her pursuit of a happy ending for Sun Jae, no matter what it costs her. I would bet on her too, if I were in Sun Jae's place. I believe our cute little bulldozer can do anything!

Going backwards, episode 8 was a blinder in so many ways - the meeting on the bridge after so many near misses the previous episode, the echoes from the beginning of their story, the umbrella! Then watching Sun Jae slowly morph from a cool, unruffled superstar to his sweet, awkward teen self the longer he was around Sol was just lovely. Her presence allowed him to be himself, truly.

I haven't even got to Im Sol's confession in the present - my goodness, what a breathtaking declaration of love. The acting from both was just gorgeous here - you could feel the release and relief of all that pain and longing. And after Sun Jae repeatedly made himself vulnerable it was time for her to do the same. I especially loved Kim Hye Yoon's startled reaction in the lift after actually telling him how she felt and Byeon Woo Seok's delirious, overwhelmed delight in his car after. And that kiss!! One for the ages and I love so much that she initiated it and crossed the last divide between them. I think I saw that was Woo Seok's suggestion when they were blocking the scene? which...makes me swoon even more, honestly (as if that was possible).

I love Detective Kim's doggedness in pursuit - he feels like a man who can get the bad guy. Indeed, all the 'adult' characters here are reassuring in the best ways and I agree with all the theories about a bit of magic around Halmeoni, too. Taesung was Ep 10's MVP for me and he's definitely got more of a role to play in changing fate. There's still six episodes to go after all (how on earth am i going to cope with the stress?!?!)

I am absolutely convinced it will be a happy ending. The lightness of touch and genuine laugh out loud moments every episode are setting the tone for a happy conclusion. Plus, there's no pre-determined feeling here (looking at you, Moon in the Day), rather the opposite. We are being shown over and over that a kind and unselfish heart can work miracles. They're not going through it for nothing, i just know it.

[prof-peach]

Bit ooc but I have a question. How you do go about planing out your PLA comic? Like how do you actually turn your ideas/ storyline into comic form? Is it chapter to chapter or do you have the whole idea already planned out? Trying to find my own way in comic making so I’m just wondering if you could give any advice. Feel free to ignore if you don’t feel comfortable answering

So, at first this was al i could think to send.

because its incredibly accurate to my process.

Jokes aside, a lot of how i work is back and forth chaos, fighting with ideas until im happy with them. I will start with a list (usually not written down because im unhinged and keep a ot of it in my brain) and organise it in a way that makes sense to the situation, in this case workign with a game with an established plot...not that its a very strong one.

with a set of ideas, and a game to work around i will ramble and rant to a few choice people who i bounce well off, and also stare into space for hours on end building the ideas. This process can be days, it can be years. For context, i have some notes from 2019 about things i wanted to include that are still relevant. I have been scheming how to break and rebuild this OC for ages. Theres no correct time frame, so long as you simply do the work.

Once i have a fairly loose plan, i start to solidify the benning and the end. What is required to make a character compelling, what makes them believable, what makes them human in a way that we recognise. this isnt always a positive thing, people like to call characters who do bad things problematic, but its human nature to make mistakes and be damaged or difficult, the process of the story is not always rainbows and sunshine. For me, this hits even harder, as im trying to tell a story from the perspective of someone fundamentally broken, so showing those breaks and cracks has to be done wisely.

This is the point where i make notes about things that need to change from the start to the end. And ill say one thing, this story in particular, I have not solidly planned the middle. I am allowing space for me to come up with new ideas at points. Being locked into a dead set of ideas can be quite limiting, and as creators we consume and process things constantly to generate new stories. Id be a fool to make a plan and stick to it. everything i do is vague guidelines.

However, I know exactly how the story ends in Hisui, and where it goes to from there. And i think me personally knowing the end goal makes it easier to plot steps towards that, and some of those steps are anything but progressive.

If nothing else, the end was the only thing i saw clearly, and it has only become more complex and loaded and emotional as the rest of this has fallen into place. If you can see the goal, you can work out how to get there with time.

Regarding the chapters, i tend to draft plan up like 3-4 of them at a time, and then go in order to sketch out one after the other, so i have plenty of time to change things while i adjust. its constantly a process of seeing what you make, seeing issues, and scrapping whole parts just to redraw something better or new, unique even. I dont think a single page ive posted has resembled the very VERY first draft thumbnail ive made, and thats just how i do. Every panel, how big they are, the angle you hand the viewer, the way you light things, the expressions, this all dictates SO SO much.

Taking time over it is kind of the job, and let me stress, this is normally a job done by a team, especially the highly popular comics. one inks, one colours, one shades, one handles text, one edits, theres so many people behind it, so dont be bothered by the pace at which things are made if youre working alone like i am. One person means longer production times, if you can, spread the workload out, but its not required. Its why i always say it doesnt matter how long it takes to make, so long as youre still making.

I think its also worth noting, comics are consumed quickly, the bakcgournds and small details can be lost in the ace of the storytelling, pick and choosing your battles is wise, save your time on panels where you want the reader to shift along quicker, keep that pace high, and add in more detail and depth to panels you want to champion or get the viewers to hang around on more. its ok to let go of a "perfect" image in favour of getting content out, if youre being driven nuts by it. Again, time be damned, be happy with it. And if you can let go of petty details, id suggest doing it when possible, so long as it doesnt effect the storytelling.

I mean what else can i even say. This work is a passion project, I love it, more than i can even put into words, and i think you kind of have to, to make comics without monetary motivation. sure you can get lucky and find ways to make it big, but for most of us, its the love of the story. So maybe try not to be your biggest hater, its easy to slip into the behaviour, so try be gentle on yourself and the process. I should take that advice myself haha! but i really do mean it. This is HARD work, so be kind to yourself over it.

anyway, with a rough idea, a bunch of sketches, and time, they get inked and fussed over, i make a billion changes to layout and story, and eventually posting can happen but not after fighting with the monster that is creating. Idk what else i can say. This is not work for the feint of heart, but anyone can learn to do it.

Good luck, comic artists can always use it!

[yuri-is-online]

I hope im not the only one who finds it kinda annoying when people write mc/prefect as someone who doesn't have basic table manners just so they can be taught by riddle in riddle x readers, or if they're slovenly and ungraceful just so vil can chide and "fix" them in vil x readers, or any other incompetent reader/yuu x competent LI dynamics out there. I know readers are supposed to be "empty" and flexible for many kinds of readers, but it started to feel alot like self-depreciation for me.

I can't say I've seen too many fics with this specific set up, but there's a pretty good chance I ignored and forgot about them. I am more familiar with the Vil concept though, at least I think? But either way I think the issue you might be finding with these things is that they focus on Yuu's incompetence/inability to function as opposed to the potential for intimacy the scenario could create σ(￣、￣=)

This sort of feels like a weird point to bring up, but table etiquette and basic manners can sort of mean two different things. The type of manners you could argue Riddle would want to see expressed at tea/at an unbirthday party could be much more formal than Yuu is used to, which could make for a cute set up for a fic! Picture Riddle trying his best to teach Yuu about etiquette and finding himself having trouble keeping proper decorum, he wants to hold Yuu's hand so badly, he finds himself letting his finger brush up against the back of Yuu's hand while he tries to guide them through what fork to use... or Riddle trying to teach Yuu to dance and getting too caught up in how excited he is to touch them that he forgets to speak (,,>﹏<,,)

And with Vil, I think people like the concept of having someone dote on them and dress them up in expensive things, but there is also a fundamental misunderstanding of Vil's character that a lot of people have where they think he would see someone in basic sweats and assume they need to be "fixed." The main thing Vil desires is for people to work on self improvement and accept nothing less than the best version of themselves. He's not a Kardashian who wants everything airbrushed and the same, he even admits to being privileged in his upbringing and not understanding Neige's struggles in book 6, he's such a well rounded character, maybe the best in the entire game but back to the topic I am actually on-

Walking someone through a skin care routine or washing their hair, especially if they are having a hard time taking care of themselves due to injury or mental distress is something that can be so painfully intimate. People have different ways of caring for themselves and the VOLUMES it speaks to have someone learn and know your language of self love is sosososo important. Makeup is something Vil loves to express himself with, watching him pick out things to use on Yuu so he can express his love through his work shouldn't be about how he is "fixing" Yuu because that's not how Vil would see it. He is speaking to the beauty he already sees and enhancing it with his own, picture him slowly, deliberately, tracing a lip stain onto Yuu's lips and drawing out the process so he can experience what it is like to kiss them without breaching the delicate line his contract has forced him to walk. How he watches Yuu lick their lips later in the night and swears he can feels it; Yuu worries that they're doing something wrong when Vil keeps insisting on doing their make up because he's always so slow about it but really he just wants to place his claim on them in as subtle and intimate a way as possible.

or something i dunno this was just where my mind went

[hellonerf]

im just wondering, could you expand on how you see americas character? im really interested in how you characterize him and how much youve thought him through.. especially the deeper parts of his personality .

wow this is very sweet 😖❤️ i'm flattered whenever people say they like my characterization(usually i assume people think i'm crazy or something). um i don't really know where to begin here. if you're curious most of the most notable things in my mind i put in the "ame bible" tag on this blog. 😊 i have an old drawing from march that has like most of the "core" parts of my ame written down but i don't like the drawing anymore so i'll just list down what i wrote that time here ->

> going with canon that he's physically 19 maybe 20ish. i think a youthful boyish demeanor suits him -> adding on to this, a pretty important part of him to me is that he is immature. most of the time the maturity he can show is performative and comes from imitation. that plays into another thing i think about him where he imitates normal people's emotional/social interactions without really "getting it"(why i say he's emotionally inept)

> often susceptible to paranoia and (to some degree) a kind of neurosis -> my add-on for this is that i'd just wipe out the "to some degree" i only wrote that back then because i was shy about my hcs LOL. he's neurotic. he is

> he is difficult to deal with... annoying, frustratinng, exhausting (ambiguous mental disorder lol) -> still true. i still have "ambiguous mental disorder" floating around him whenever i think about him lol. mostly only because he'd never acknowledge it so it'd never be talked about

> thoughts are contradictory often--high anount of cognitive dissonance (doesn't dwell too long on these) -> again still true, kinda plays into the "emotionally inept" thing to me? because he doesn't like actual examination his thoughts get tied around in knots like this. and he doesn't look at them enough to untie it so it just keeps building up 🤷‍♂️

> need for attention often reaches heights he's unaware of -> i feel like i didn't word this that clearly. i meant it in that he is an attention seeker and he knows he is but he doesn't know just how far he'd actually go for it until he keeps pushing it. i think this kind of thing still needs a catalyst for him of course(like someone withholding that attention for example lol...)

> 100 step skincare routine akin to patrick bateman or cassie euphoria -> lol true

> fundamentally lonely, or he'd believe himself to be -> nowadays i'd scratch this to just be fundamentally lonely. maybe it's not entirely true but i think it's applicable by itself. it is kind of self inflicted like this though

> some kind of self pity but only the right amount that he doesn't ever better himself -> lol true

> (doesn't dwell on how he treats others partly due to this)(he seems to not dwell on anything emotional in his point of view) -> i'm kind of laughing at how vague my wording in these are because i was so shy about my headcanons 😊 chill out... anyways i think this is still true also that he is cruel to others and it feeds into how he thinks because otherwise he would have to confront how cruel he can be and that conflicts with his self image hard. in his eyes he's reliable and cool and powerful and he treats people badly but "only if they deserve it! only if they had it coming!". if he dwells too long this whole idea crumbles(throwing back to the cognitive dissonance thing). he's not at worst a trickster hero, he's just not a hero at all. but even if i think his hero gimmick is played up and he somewhat knows its not serious it's still a part of how he views himself. like he's thinking maybe he's a little arrogant a little narcissistic but he's not bad! in a way he IS the hero people just deny it! that kind of thinking

> fake but sometimes he doesn't view it that way, sometimes he does -> what i just said about my old vague wording lol... anyways. he's fake this is just the truth. he knows somewhat he's fake (actor moment) but it's not like. he doesn't see it the same way other people would? to him it's just social sleuthing. it's just here and there to get things done 🤷‍♂️ as far as anyone besides himself know, it's kind of his entire being. like he doesn't perceive how big his lies are lol

> in the end he likes to think of himself as better and more put together than he is, but he is not capable of not being "himself" one way or another -> ? why did i insist on wording these in the most confusing ways possible. but well yeah he thinks he's more in control, of himself specifically, than he actually is. on his self image too.

> more self aware than he wants to be, not as self aware as he thinks he is -> it'd be great to him if he was genuinely unaware of how he is at all. but he's also playing up how much he acknowledges about himself here

> a lot of him smells of artifice. but physically he smells like mostly a clean, chemical scent (like drycleaner) -> i still stand by this! i guess it depends on where he is though? if i had to choose another scent it'd be like a soda or something. or depending on the region or something. but most of the time i think he smells like this

> comparatively low pain tolerance but still bashes his head on walls and gets into fights -> i think he's a stupid baby who actually doesn't do that well with pain. i guess compared to other countries is what i mean? i mean i think it depends on the current state of the country too. instead of sharp pains he's dizzy or something... but he has elaborate forms of self harm anyways

> bad with tears of any kind from anyone (actually seriously insensitive) -> true! i think about ame crying now more often than i did back then, but it's still true. he doesn't cry a lot and he's actually good at not crying. it's not like he had to train himself to cry less it's just not a need most of the time. his negative emotional responses are sanded out usually. when someone else cries he is genuinely really out of his element. if he's not being deliberately cruel he's really awkward with it

> body often bounces between more chub or muscle depending on how obsessive he gets about it, basically never skinny but i still suck at bodies -> i would hope i've improved at drawing bodies at this point 😭 i lean into drawing more chub on him because drawing muscle seriously pisses me off. and he's cuter like that 😊. anyways this still applies! but i should say when he's being obsessive about how his body looks he doesn't accept "excess fat" (he doesn't have a good view on this). if he's trying to be muscular it's in the particular kind of impossible model way, not in the way of natural muscle gain. and i don't think he'd like being skinny. his ideal body is a specific one that he has to work to maintain(which makes everything worse when he's really fucked up about it)

> not normal about food but we all knew this already -> playing into the previous point. ame my princess. sorry(he's killing me with rocks) but it's still true! in the way i described before. it's always true we all knew this already. i think in terms of eating disorder it's more like ? a binge eating disorder? i don't really know specifically. things he feels he should have control over but he doesn't. mentally devastating

> sometimes genuinely apathetic, sometimes idgafness played up -> self explanatory i think sorry my fingers are starting to hurt

okayyy that's all pretty much 😊 well no not all. if you're really curious just read through my posts because ame insanity is in all of them and i'm serious. important things unmentioned : all of these every single one applies to my genderbend ame i think this is obvious but i need to say it they are functionally the same person in my mind. if i had to think what makes me think of ame like this it's probably cause before i reread or rewatched hetalia i watched the musicals first lol. but to be honest i think this is just how he is in my mind? like even without the musicals i'd just view him like this. partly because of my own view of the united states of america as an entity, as a foreigner. ame as a concept and such and such... i was so shy about these headcanons then because it was straight up how i viewed his mental state like i couldn't view it any other way if i tried. this is my default read of ame and i didn't want someone to be like you're fucking insane? thankfully people like it somehow. thank you for reading all of this if you did ❤️ bye my hands hurt

[sundays-mutt]

again. im right at the start of season three so no spoilers outside of that but isaac being / identifying as sufi is so . important in contextualizing his character action, ideals, and personality ESPECIALLY because this story takes place at the height of sufist ideal in the islamic world.

this is not because i believes isaac is an especially spirtual muslim - but rather i dont think his disillusionment makes much sense if you don't understand his core values before he becomes a follower of dracula.

first, sufism is not an actual sect of islam like sunni or shia. it is probably most accurate to describe as a lens in which the faith in interpreted and practice, that places emphasis on the inward aspects and elements of the religion. it is fundamentally just islam with additional practices that are shunned / rejected by modern orthodox religion.

most muslims who would describe themselves as sufi at this time were often normally sunni muslim who subscribed to the four main scholarly houses of muslim belief. especially in the fourteen hundreds, during what was and still is considered the islamic golden era.

it is not a particularly unique thing for isaac to identify as a sufi muslim in that regard. however if your only reference for islam is modern islam - which is both deeply conservative and legalist, you will probably just see isaacs beliefs as unusual. his act of self-flagellation in particular will probably seem jarring.

sufism placed heavy importance on ritual in a way modern islam does not. orthodox islam views love as obdience, but this was not true during the islamic golden era. rather sufism viewed love for allah as a process of spiritual unification. it also focused much more heavily on the concept of a spirtual journey and emphasized kindness and high moral standard.

(this was as a result of the devotion sufists particular showed to the prophet SAW, who they believed to be the pinnacle of all of humanity. this is true of modern islam but the way sufist went about it was unique, because in order to achieve this they required a spiritual master )

codified sufist belief was structured around spiritual leadership. usually this spiritual leader was a master of some kind, someone who had close ties with the prophet (SAW). western text refers to them as saints but it is more complex than that.

in sufism, a spiritual leader often had murd (disciplies) who under went trials in order to find more spiritual enlightenment. and the last stage of islamic spiritual enlightenment in the case of sufism was the concept of fana.

AND THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MOSTLY.

fana in sufist doctrine is the annihilation of self. because sufism is focused on spiritual unification with both allah and the prophet (SAW), the concept of fana intended to be achieved through ritual, meditation, etc (basically all the stuff disciples practice under their saints) - the idea is that achieving this level of connection happens when you are able to let go of earthly ideals and your human ego.

fana has two interpertations. anhillation of your individual ego in order to become an instrument of gods will and/or be prepared for the enlightenment required to connect with your lord.

(there is some debate about the exact end goal, but the modern poet rumi and famous sufist believed it to be about unification over becoming an instrument)

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW FANA IS REFERRED TO IN MODERN SUFIST TEXT?

"to die before one dies," I.E. THE THING THAT ALUCARD SAYS ABOUT DRACULA AND IS VERY OVERTLY REFERENCES.

AND THAT IS WHAT IS MAKING ME SO...

so much of isaacs character is reflective of the spirtual journey sufist muslims made at this time. the seeking of a master, the critical lens and view of mankind the high standards he holds humanity too (and thus, the solace he must find in vampirism - a thing that exists outside of faith, to beings who are not subject to such standards and of whom he does not expect kindness.), the ritual aspect of his identity both as a forge master and the Captain who he is with now.

both isaac and hector develop a hatred of humanity based on their experiences. if by any chance they will take his character in the direction i assume they will - then i do not doubt the rest of his character arc will turn him onto the path of what i figure is some kind of redemption.

AND THE REASON I THINK THAT IS BECAUSE IM SURE ISAACS CHARACTER ARC WILL FOCUS ON HIS EGO, WHICH IS FOUNDED ON HIS HATRED OF HUMANITY.

isaacs anhillation of self and ego will in some sense of the word, i think, be a return to his humanity. no doubt, he has currently already undergone the process of being a murd not by one master but many which also became common in the 14th century !!!!! and from what i can tell captain is the final iteration of that!!!!!

so his final step, his arc being fana - to die again before dying and return to his former self (i.e. a reformed, aware version of the version of him that believed somewhat in humanitys) going on a spiritual journey would be completely in line with all the way isaac has already had parallels to 14th century sufist practice.

BUT IT IS SO EASY . SO EASY TO MISS THE BRILLANCE OF THAT IF YOU DONT KNOW!!!!! BUT I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* note, master in this context is more akin to spiritual leader.

[cdroloisms]

dr3 please send help im so obsessed with jmah au but Specifically Box Au i think this is a Problem. box au is so absolutely crazy to me . imagine getting not one au but TWO AUS WORTH OF TORTURE 😭😭 do u have any more fun facts or other info u can give us abt it 🙏

HAHA god box AU is so nuts soooooo nuts

just checked my tag man I gave yall NOTHING didn't I ??? okay okay box AU information. once again, here are the main two posts about the premise of this AU, which is actually an extension and sort of "bad end" for my and kat's JMAH AU. In short, when jmah!Quackity takes over the prison at the end of the AU, the dominos fall so that jmah!Sam offers to let him visit Dream to get the revive book (like he did in the first canon timeline) in the prison to bargain his way out of the main cell. Quackity scoffs at Sam's attempt at a deal, considering the guy doesn't have any real leverage, but realizes that he needs to protect the prison from any Technoblade-related interference (especially because at this point Sam has spilled about timeline #1 and has either directly said that Techno was responsible for things going south with the prison the first go around in some kind of emotional or pain-driven rant, or Quackity has put that together himself) and that he can get much-needed Sam revenge by fucking with Dream. As a result, Sam is let out of the main cell, and Quackity tortures Dream daily much like in canon--only this time, he answers to no one, he's the Warden now bitch, and Sam is his shitty little janitor/mechanic/punching bag probably sometimes when he gets pissed the fuck off, which is often. Sam is allowed into the main cell post-sessions for only 30 minutes a day.

For Dream...it's a horrific betrayal. Worse than the first, honestly. When Sam first arrives in the jmah timeline a stranger to Dream, the emotional impact was kind of secondary to being suddenly thrown head first into the deep end of "Sam is unrecognizable, crazy as fuck, and probably about to actually murder me" -- in canon, c!Sam's whole deal at the beginning of the prison is still sudden, but at least there's some sense in connecting Sam as Warden to the man he was before. With a year's worth of context missing, Dream is honestly too busy what the fuck-ing to process how badly he's been betrayed by Sam. No frogboil, this time -- just the alarm of Sam building what ends up being a torture machine on day two (2) of the prison. On the other hand, the last year of his life has been spent playing catch up, having to make sense of the man that Sam now is Or Else. He has devoted everything to figuring out the rules to abide by, mathing out what makes the Warden grimly satisfied and what makes him give into sudden and alarming violence. Sam at the beginning of Dream's prison stay is a stranger, but by the end he very much isn't one, and it's the Sam that has become his whole damn world that sells him to save his own skin.

That being said, it's still just Sam. Quackity's visits are. Well, they're not pretty. He doesn't have to answer to Sam, this time, and is actively against the idea because jmah!Quackity REALLY REALLY hates Sam. Dream is angry at first, because of fucking course he's angry, he was sold, he's utterly fucked, Sam broke something unnamed but fundamental between them, every time he's left bleeding out it's because his Warden let another man own him--but at the same time, there is nothing else. Nothing else. Quackity is barely even in this for the book, honestly--what's more critical to him is 1) revenge and 2) the power of having control over Pandora's Fucking Vault, and both are kiiiinda dependent on using Dream against Sam but not really about Dream. The book would be a great cherry on top, of course; he has zero love lost for either person here, but what's most important is Making Them Pay.

Sam, therefore, is actually in a really uncomfortable position, because the reason why he proposes this deal (and his mindset as he proceeds through this time period) is that he doesn't actually want to be on opposite sides from Quackity. He killed Q, but because he was a security risk, because he had broken into the cell because he was going to take Dream away -- Sam hasn't exactly mathed out the fact that his complicated ass camaraderie with Quackity in canon is COMPLETELY in ruins in jmah's timeline. He's working on a plan to get the prison and prisoner back into his control, of course, but he wants to believe that the current situation is controlled and sustainable, just a different name for what had been the arrangement in canon--even though, y'know. That's absolutely not the case.

The way this works is largely that Quackity more or less visits daily to torture Dream (but unlike canon, he's not exactly beholden to any kind of Sam timekeeping or pedantics on the schedule or hemming and hawing about visitation) and then lets Sam visit for 30 minutes a day to patch him up. Otherwise, Sam's job is to reinforce the prison from Technoblade--something where he and Quackity are actually on the same page, so Sam is definitely working on that, but he's also trying to rig things up without Quackity's knowledge to get control back of the prison pwetty please. Quackity definitely keeps Sam in one of the other cells when he's not around, for obvious reasons. Sam keeps trying to appeal to him and honestly probably gets punched and shit for it LOL. LMAO. It's a strange and unsettling dynamic for Sam, who has seen something so similar to this before but not quite the same--he's still patching up Dream after sessions, but he's hesitant to ask him to give the book up to Quackity, who has made it quite clear that Sam will see hide or hair of the damn thing if he gets it--nah, he'll just kill Dream and Sam can have his old room, how about that? He's coaching Dream on how to respond to Quackity.

He knows that Dream can endure a lot. It's been an obstacle for so long, but here it works in his favor--he'll get control over the prison and prisoner again, soon. All he's asking from Dream is to endure it--and he already knows that he can.

Quackity isn't barred from permanent damage in quite the same way as he was in canon, but it takes awhile for Sam to really grasp the implications. Here's a post delving into some of the details about the way that the torture progresses--in short, Sam tries to cling to the cope that he and Quackity are on the same side, it's not all that different from the first go around, he can make this work without having to choose one side or the other in a super definitive fashion--until Quackity drives him to the edge and he recognizes that his options are to kill Quackity or to lose Dream, and we all know what happens when it comes to that ultimatum.

After Quackity dies, the dynamic changes quite a bit for Dream and Sam again. Quackity takes Dream's leg, Sam only barely manages to keep him alive through a failsafe he'd installed in his old dispenser system, Quackity dies in a pretty bloody fight with Sam fueled by pure Dream-related desperation and little else. The cell is...a wreck. Sam had been pretty adamant on keeping it more sterile than the first go around, absolutely hating the mess that Quackity and Dream were responsible for, but he's hardly had the time to clean the thing in his half an hour granted for him to do everything he can to keep Dream from bleeding out before Quackity arrives again. His perfect system has been tainted with layers and layers of grime and blood and viscera--Quackity has taken to shit like writing on the walls with Dream's blood, at least in part just to fuck with Sam (Sam tried to have A Conversation with him like he would've in canon about the state of the cell, and Quackity does nawt appreciate Sam's acting like the Warden, especially when he no longer has any power to back up the posturing.) And for Dream...Sam betrayed him, yes, but more recently and more importantly--Sam saved him. Sam protected him. Sam has brought him somewhere light and soft and clean and is telling him no more Quackity, ever again, you're safe, and isn't reacting violently when he behaves erratically and touching him gently and his leg is gone he can't fucking run and Sam saved him.

Sam is around Dream...quite a lot, after all of this. He's um. Well. Clingy, honestly. Being so far removed from the prisoner, what was happening to him, having zero control, often not even being allowed to supervise the visits from the atrium (unless Quackity wanted him there, in which the visit would've been So Obviously a show to fuck with him)--it really was his worst nightmare, in many ways. And Dream is dealing with like, a month or so of horrific trauma on top of almost a year's worth of Sam-related conditioning, and now Sam is being strangely nice and lenient and he's in so much less pain than he's been in a very long time. It's not the best mixing pot of mutual mental illness and codependence and intimacy...at all. Aha. (the c!awesamdreamons get. A LOT WORSE.)

(And well...in canon, there are a lot of reasons not to give up the revive book. There's the plan, the fact that the book preserves his life, the fact that there's no confidence in Quackity for sure or even Sam's investment in keeping Dream alive. Only here, Sam's deal has been so singularly wrapped around Dream much moreso than the book--the book had been a frequent part of interrogations, yes, but so was Tommy, and Ranboo, and the TNT on the prison, and Technoblade, and so on. Here, Dream has suffered through a huge blow to his confidence in the idea that he'll ever make it out, knows that Quackity is pretty damn okay with killing him regardless of the book...knows that he's been sold once before. In the early delirium of being saved by Sam and needing to do something, anything, to make sure that the last month won't happen again--in the reeling from losing his leg and the grappling with the idea that even moreso than he'd already begun to think through JMAH, that he would never make it out of the prison, never see anything but these obsidian walls again--in the knowledge that Sam has lied to him before, pulled the rug from under his feet before, that any and all kindnesses from the Warden were so dependent on what Dream was able or willing to sacrifice, and the fact that he therefore can't be sure that the threat of Quackity is actually gone for good...it's a lot of strain, and the concrete reasons to give up the book are a lot less solid in this scenario. So.)

[sonny-d]

i think toritsuka has the same understanding of women as i have but he hasnt had his lil like fundamental realization abt it yet

even as a man that likes men i do not go near men they scare the fuck outa me im mostly only friends with women and trans men and like a few a very small amount of cis men bc again they scare the fuck out of me bc i have some underlying issue with touch that i havent figured out it might be like child abuse or smth i have no idea and i dont rly wanna know but my few guy friends will try to fight sometimes and i swear as soon as one of them comes near me i go for the dick not the gut not the head i need to immobilize them as easily as i possibly can with the least effort in case i mess up but women arent like that im just fine with touching women bc they arent typically as aggressive

also i totally said men and women what that actually means is masculine ppl and feminine ppl but on a much deeper level than i think most ppl understand so men and women works better for the explination

so i think toritsuka has the same kind of understanding of masculinity and femininity so thats why he only ever tries to hang around women and saiki (saiki is smth else ill go into) is bc he trusts women the same way he trusts ghosts and thats also part of him trusting ghosts is not only that they are inherently good but that they literally cannot touch him

and now for why hes pervy (its sexual so beware)

on my rankings of what incites the most feeling sex is my number one especially with someone i like bc its physical and emotional stimulation and its just good its a way to feel things and this is not a me specific i dont think im pretty sure this is common so i think it applies to toritsuka and thats why hes pervy is bc he needs that kind of emotional stimulus and i think it rly goes with the cotards delusion thing somebody said bc smth i thought of earlier is that hed get it with his heart like hed feel like his heart is dying (im not projecting i swear) and the appeal of sex is very heavy in the increased heart rate so i think its some kind of reminder for him as his heart beats faster and more aggressively that hes alive

@jkgnggj this is for the fic fr

[joodles98]

do u ever think about raileon as being two sides of the same coin? the dragon guarding a castle and the king who loves his subjects yet is trapped in a tower. childhood friends (perchance) turned into friendly rivals and eventually lovers.

do you think they idolized red and blue as kids or teens (depending on how old you think they are bc in my mind reguri are slightly older, maybe like late 20s while raileon are early 20s) and they dont talk about it but you can clearly see the parallels of battle prodigy child who goes on to be champion and rival who ends up becoming the 8th gym leader who prefers double battles plus a researcher (and both r super gay)

yes to all of that a million times ❗️these characters are so intertwined to me.

i have all kinds of scattered thoughts

i think leon would have invited rednblue to galar to get their input/expertise in creating his battle tower (since they have the experience in setting up the battle tree 😋)

blue would love how cutthroat the galar league is/the gym leadership system, also really enjoy the commercial appeal of it/spectacle of the stadiums. red doesnt really care for any of that but he fucking loves gigantamaxing his charizard. he feels his cool meter thru the roof. when he sees gigantamax pikachu for the first time his heart explodes

there is something to say about red and leon confronting its hard(scary) to go back home. but its nice to have someone on your side to remind you of who you are and who you can be.

red especially, who "threw away" the obligations of being champ because the core of his journey was to test the limits of his strength, learn and grow, and battle for the sake of it because its what he loves to do. period. (and ending up becoming a hero just because he saw abuses of power and knew he could stop it, since no one else was.) leon realizes that living and battling really could be simple and fundamental once he's free of the excess of championing lol, and the only real pressure and maintenance of reputation comes from a personal definition within. that's it.

red as a character, to me at least, symbolizes we get to choose what we let go of, what we carry on, and what's new that we'll venture into. nobody's judgement, no matter how big or loud it seems, can "make" us do anything, that is, if we have the courage to decide what defines us and act accordingly

basically. i think red is a character who is the epitome of authenticity (the responsibility we have to our own life and dreams.) he is just doing his thing forever fuck the haters. mad respect. everybody can learn from him

on the other hand, i think leon symbolizes possibility. the way identity is a constant process. like the many lives we have the fortune to live in our one life, if we have the courage and resilience to begin again. (resilience and not stubborn kind that makes you blind to opportunity. im talking like a strong acceptance of reality, unwavering belief that life is meaningful. i think that's what leon's growth arc is about 🤧)

blue and leon could become drinking buddies over the self-reinventing journeys they undertook after losing 🫣. its so fascinating to compare the outcomes of someone who was champ for less than an hour vs. someone who was champ for over 10 years (a whole childhood/teenagedom!). also considering leon just had a whole fucking terrible week before his loss that probably already put his identity on shaky foundation. (the darkest day and losing to eternatus in front of hop. being betrayed by rose. etc).

when i think of older blue and post game leon they are a reminder of at the end of the day its that you gotta make sure the things you do is for You

baseline reguri for me is that blue never actually "hated" red. jealousy and frustration can make a kid who just wants recognition and praise pretty volatile. for raihan, especially when he was younger, he had to be pretty vigilant to not let his jealously of leon taint their friendship/rivaly. it could be a factor in his investment of a personal brand and celebrity through his influencer status(quiet his inner doubt/impostor syndrom/make up for the he perceivs he lacks).

but i also think raihan's interest in history makes him the contextual thinking type to have been skeptical of leon's experience as champion, especially since leon's hard to read. (the way they both have different types of trust issues. lol) it kinda protected his heart from being too hurt of the physical distance leon's championing put in their friendship over the years too, especially since their rivalry continued on into a professional, profitable setting and they both had images to maintain. (whereas red and blue are coworkers also lol, but working side by side.)

i want to talk about raileon slow burn so bad but i have to go to work rn 😭

[arcan3-reliquary]

Songs that make me think of aventio/Golden Ratio

Because they make me ill and me thinking about their dynamic at any point in their story is like giving a german shepard a kong toy full of peanut butter

Im gonna separate this into pre established relationship vibes and then once they're actually established and in love. because I feel like those 2 dynamics can be veeery different.

PRE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP - Pre HSR cannon to just before Penacony

Training Season - Dua Lipa (i cant explain this, but just hear me out)

My Strange Addiction - Billie Eilish (again, trust me yall)

Bad Romance - Gaga (Specifically the Halestorm cover, I saw them edited to it and it changed my brain chemistry)

Poker Face - Lady Gaga ("Ratio fell first, Aven was messing around then fell harder" anyone?)

Northern Attitude - Noah Kahan (Again, the intimacy issues arise)

Mary - Alex G (Aven POV. No further explaination needed)

Crushing Me - Grease: Rise of The Pink Ladies (Ratio not knowing how to feel about having feelings is just UGH YES)

Silly Girl - chloe moriondo ( I think it really could work either way, but especially Avens POV. seeing Ratio as perfect, realizing he's not, then thinking, "of course I'd think of him like that, I'm fucked up")

a kind thing to do - Cavetown Ft. Vic Fuentes (this is one that only really makes sense if you listen to it, plus the entire album fucks so go listen to it)

ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP - From beginning of Penacony to post-cannon

Don't Wake Me Up - The Hush Sound (Ratio POV, specifically post Aven walking into the nihility. its sad and I like that)

Ghost of Chicago - Noah Floersch (Aven POV in the most unexpected way possible. He loves his husband and is surprisingly tender about it.)

Somebody To You - The Vamps ( They give me cheesy romance pop vibes)

We'll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross (Aven being in a relationship thats not full of ulterior motives/conditions being something new and a little scary, but also lovely)

Treehouse - Alex G (Ratio finally letting someone into his inner thoughts who's able to understand him, and w Aven the feeling's mutual)

Painkillers - Rainbow Kitten Surprise (they give me STRONG RKS vibes)

Clusterhug - IDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (something something fundamentally conflicting views but somehow two sides of the same coin)

Juliet - Cavetown (emotionally walled off and alexithymic Ratio my beloved. I def think Aven is the one person who hears any of the insecurites he has, particularly because he's spent so long playing up the almost mythical Scholar role.)

and thats it i've yapped enough, i had to write this or i wouldn't get any more fic writing done just thinking about it lol

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, I'm not one to cry over the hate the boys get because I truly believe they are resilient as hell and I try to curate my space as much as possible so that I'm not subjected to it. Im so bummed though about Hobi's JITB hope edition dedication and how he was concerned that his and armys relationship wouldn't be able to get past him not releasing a physical. Im disappointed that solo narratives were able to infiltrate army spaces and convince the boys to change their mind about something. Im really sending all the love and good energy to Hobi and all the members today and I sincerely hope this wont occur again in the future. Thanks for letting me use this space to vent a little

*

Ask 2:

i'm honestly a bit confused about this hobi thanks to letter bpp. i went back to your post where you talked about jitb and you were right that this was his decision, but were people wrong to ask for a physical album?

*

Ask 3:

People on Twitter keep whining about how ppl complaining about jitb album format made Hobi feel bad and I of course feel bad he was disappointed with the feedback but it's such a mind numbingly stupid thing to be mad about he's a professional musician. It's part of his job fans dont have to like everything all the time sometimes people aren't gonna like a song or even an album or the photoshoots or artist merch or styling or if you choose to release your album as a piece of colorful cardboard with no cd and everyone just has to cope with it. Hobi is a first day million seller and we got live versions of some songs now people need to take the w and be happy and everyone who wanted a physical physical better be over the fucking moon

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 2, since you're the only person actually asking me a question (lol), I'll work with your ask.

"were people wrong to ask for a physical album?"

Let's look at it this way. If Hobi released a song you didn't like, would it be wrong for you to say you didn't like the song, and mention instead the genre of music you'd like him to do instead?

The answer to that, is no. Obviously. As I've been saying, I think it's perfectly fine for you to not like something BTS /Hobi does, the music they make, choices you disagree with, etc, and it's not like there's a gag order in the fandom so of course you can say so and leave that feedback for the artist because they monitor fan chatter. You'd be right to do this, and it works both ways for positive and negative feedback.

Now, would you still be right if you:

Defaulted to asserting that Hoseok had no agency and that the choice of the song (or no physical albums) was forced on him by the company

Trended hashtags with your demands on him, asserting that he was a pawn the company was using and sabotaging to prop up maknae-line members

Threatened to boycott and actually boycotted his album

Review-bombed Weverse album app, Weverse shop app, and Weverse app

Reported and took down ARMY playlists for JITB that included other members' songs

Threatened to send trucks stating your demands for a physical album (or to continue the example from above, a song genre you prefer)

Became abusive to other members in the group, asserting that they are complicit in Hobi's 'mistreatment'

Took your frustration out on other members, disparaging them and their solo debuts

Threatened the other members, Bang PD, and PDogg with physical harm

Continued this barrage for months on end

Etc...

Would you be right to do this?

The answer to this, too, is no. Obviously.

Hobi akgaes who didn't get a physical album did all of the above for their 'feedback' because of what fundamentally motivates them.

The thing about akgaes is that at the crux of it, they don't actually think highly of the person they stan. Especially in the case of BTS solo stans. If you listen to akgaes talk about their 'fave' members... pick any member: Hobi, Jimin, Taehyung, etc, they all think said member is "too kind", "too humble", "too helpless" etc, to assert themselves to receive things they actually want for their careers within reason. Akgaes in general don't actually think the artists have any real say over their career direction.

They ultimately consider that artist a puppet who is supposed to bend or acquiesce to meet any demand made of them, and so when they see outcomes they don't like, the thought that it could be a choice the artist agreed to (talk less of it possibly being the artist's idea) is completely foreign to them. The only thought in an akgae's mind when they see outcomes they don't like is how to switch out who is controlling the puppet, how to force an outcome on and for the artist, an outcome that the akgae thinks is best for the artist's career in their own imagination.

They're delusional enough to believe that with their limited information of the artist's plans, resources, and limitations, that whatever they envision as goals for that artist aligns precisely with what that artist desires. They never really frame these demands as things they'd personally like or want, but as something that the artist secretly wants or outrightly deserves which the company maliciously withholds for *insert your favourite conspiracy theory here* reasons, that necessitates the akgae intervening.

So, where (some) ARMYs could look at the JITB rollout situation and think Hobi was likely involved in that outcome, even if we didn't like the outcome; where (some) ARMYs could see how even if Jimin didn't get all the MVs due to limitations unknown to us, that Jimin still has agency to effect any changes he wants in his career; where ARMYs could see how all these imperfect outcomes are still possible even while the members retain their agency.... akgaes instead default to catastrophizing any outcome they disagree with, and actively work to remove/change who controls manages the puppet artist to give them the outcomes they think is best for the artist.

As with everything else in fandom, the devil is in the details and it's unhelpful to talk in very general terms about fandom dynamics sometimes because we all know different factions could say similar things but have very different motivations. And that a lot of 'fans' are actually a bit insane. I mean, I know many of my followers are newer fans but you all should have seen by now that something like 90% of what happens in fandom is fans of various kinds criticizing things of all sorts, and that what counts as 'criticism' here covers a very wide spectrum, from abuse and slander to frankly insane irl/physical attempts and threats to change/control the artist.

Of course, ARMYs in true fandom fashion try to correct for this impulse by overcompensating, either due to

Their own guilt in joining in with mantis and akgaes at the time, or

Performative bullshit to make up for being hypocritical or to virtue signal over other ARMYs, or

As a natural consequence of how information is communicated in social systems, or

Some other reasons I can't think of at the moment.

Now the refrain from some ARMYs is that voicing any dissatisfaction with anything whatsoever is wrong. But at this point, after everything I've written above, I hope it's clear that I think fans can, should, and do express when they like and dislike certain choices, if they like. The difference between a fan and any other faction though, is that fans actually respect the artist, and recognize that even with the music industry as shady as it is, even if outcomes aren't always perfect or there are outcomes fans disagree with for the artist, that the artist is the person who ultimately knows what's best for them and has the tools to effect any needed changes. Especially in the case of BTS. BTS knows what's best for BTS and they have the ability to choose and work within their teams and the industry to effect any real changes or outcomes they want for the management of their careers. BTS does. Not Sally from Ohio, nor Jiwon from Jeonju.

In my opinion, at least.

[nothorses]

i kind of agree that the internet (and ppl in general) have become more conflict avoidant, to the point of detriment. and that can be seen especially in fanfic spaces, where any sort of criticism is almost sacrilege. (im talking about like. constructive criticism not just being like “augh this sucks” )

which is fine! nobody has to listen to criticism when they dont want it. but i find it worrying because i think its scared people off from interacting with fanart/fic at all!

for example, im definitely a sensitive person but i started to explicitly say “please share any and all criticisms!” under my writing. cause i felt i needed that, and it was quite scary and difficult at first but ive kinda taught myself to actually use that info to make my work better. which makes me happy in turn.

but also! i find i get more comments in general, even completely positive ones! i think because people are less scared of coming off the wrong way. idk this is sort of random but. just thought id share how ive seen what u were talkin about reflected in specific spaces.

Yes, absolutely! and I think this highlights part of the issue for me, too.

I think lot of this behavior stems from fearing the vulnerability that comes with trust. And we talk a lot about how not trusting others or not trusting yourself isolates you- which it absolutely does- but something I don't really see discussed is the impact this has on others as well.

Like you said, the fear of interactions going wrong means people are less willing to say even kind things, for fear of them being taken the wrong way; which is isolating for you, and which can also make other people feel like you don't want to interact with them for some reason.

Lacking trust in other people also often means jumping to conclusions about them, assuming the worst, and ultimately making them feel like they're undeserving of trust for whatever reason. Even if that's not why you feel that way, I can definitely tell you from experience the kind of damage that can cause to someone's mental health and self-perception.

Trust isn't owed, but I do think everyone deserves a chance before you decide to take it away. And I think if you find you fundamentally can't trust someone, there's really no justification for sticking around.

[sammygender]

Choose violence ask game. 16 and 21. ❤️

ask game

thank u sm for enabling me to be a hater

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

well dstiel obviously though i do understand why people like it so much. it's because they're stupid.

aside from that.. oh wait this one is so random and no hate whatsoever (in fact only love) to people who like it but i don't really like transmasc dean in a canon setting. as an au it's incredibly interesting but i see it as occupying similar space to a cis girl dean au in a way where it definitely is..... an AU. in canon like. yeah no. that's NOT a trans guy im sorry. trans guys can be annoying dont get me wrong. but you'd have to be VERY special to be annoying the way he is. also he wouldnt transition for ages cause hes dean winchester and he likes to conform to and in fact play up his expected role. so he certainly wouldve not transitioned in the canon when we see him.

i dont feel this way at all about transmasc sam however. he'd be the same pretty much. as would transfem sam who we all know i adore. anyway i'll probably change my mind in a week and get obsessed with transmasc dean and post 20 times in a row about it and you are all allowed to pelt me with rocks.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

this was surprisingly hard. in the interest of being interesting and not just going for 'destiel' or something, i'm actually going to say kripke era. it IS my favourite era!! its objectively the best in terms of writing, atmosphere, plot, characterisation. like no contest, obviously. in fact when i recommend the show to people i tell them just to watch the first 5 seasons (while planning on baiting them into continuing after swan song by going 'but its suchhh a bad ending for sam :(( dont you want to see what happens next.....').

so i use 'overhyped' very loosely to mean that despite me recognising it as objectively superior to the rest of the show, i don't actually hugely enjoy a lot of it that much more than i enjoy later on? a lot of my favourite parts of supernatural are heavily built on in the later seasons, or even introduced then. sam & lucifer's cage dynamic and everything resulting from it. the gadreel violation and in fact most of sam's..... everything. ofc this is all present in kripke and it's explored much Better and thematically and gothically and its just more atmospheric and intentional-seeming. whereas late seasons is kind of like this hodge-podge by different writers where you get these insane and intentional gems amid a bunch of white noise. but i just.... im a late seasons kind of person!! i loved buffy s6!! i enjoy works jumping the shark and i enjoy what art becomes when it already has so much to build on. shrug emoji.

like. ok. what first made me compulsively obsessive over supernatural (after the dean daddy issues, which i HAVE to admit hooked me........this is why im the ultimate critique of deangirls, because i was one for 3 seasons <3) was sam & azazel, the metaphor & violation present in his whole demon blood storyline. obvi this is kripke era. and i have to give kripke era credit for it. but a lot of what i consider fundamental to sam & this theme of uncleanliness especially in regards to assault and violation in some way is just soo built on post kripke. his cage trauma in s7. 8x21's "i'm not clean" speech. every compounding incident that happens to sam and his body, from gadreel possession to chuck in s15................

BASICALLY this is to say not that kripke era is really overrated but that so much credit is given to it at the expense of late seasons, when the domestic horror, cycle-of-abuse-sitcom, gabriel's tv show style thing it becomes is actually such a huge part of my enjoyment of spn. and wow i never thought i would be saying this. but i watched riverdale so idk what i was expecting. sigh. but really. what other show is giving us toxic polycule made up of brothers and an Angel of God coparenting the devil's child... also the devil happens to be brother #1's (sam is brother #1) abusive ex.... and hes currently fighting the polycule for custody rights. also the kid was born last week and hes 15. like sorry this is so fundamental to my supernatural. i could never rewatch and stop at s5. i rewatch late seasons eps all the time. ALSO LATE SEASONS SAM WINCHESTER. LIKE. COME ON. EARLY SEASONS SAM IS OVERRATED COMPARED TO LATE SEASONS. <3

[1tsjusty0u]

hm. another. whats zeldas opinion of revali/vice versa?

OHHOHO…….

alright so!! pre cal!!! revali likes/relates to her that expands into likes but also realized they are. Very Different People. and theres some issues about that. he also thinks shes really cheesy + is kind of dumbfounded by her sometimes. for zelda its Finally someone who doesnt like this twerp blindly (the twerp is link), to being, once again, different people but they can agree on One thing at least which depends from situation to situation. they dont argue but more passively disconnect from each other. unless they agree on something! also revali gets the whole powers deal with zelda and gets the struggle and all that jazz. well sort of. he understands the effort and not mastering her powers and the pressure that comes from that. but at the same time. wh. why is she the princess/why does hyrule have this grip if not for her powers. her interest in sheikah tech is probably why shes leading it but . why not an actual sheikah ………. he doesnt mention it mostly but its just a question of ‘why am i following you…’ . revalis american voice actor had that mindset except for link, which i get where hes coming from but i. do not think revali is following orders from link. that would be certain sheikahs as well as some of the guards. also revali is like. a teen to me. but anyways yeah!!! when they first meet they bicker slightly about the divine beasts but ultimately bond of their hatred of link. past this revali Does listen when she talks/rambles about the divine beasts. he doesnt really know how to do Conversation when she does it and either nods along or tries to relate it to something to not just Be Silent and have something to say. zelda sometimes gets annoyed by it but appreciates the effort. they dont really talk a lot save for champion meetings which at some point would escalate into a roadtrip at some point. revali and zelda would both be put off by each others social and rupee status. theyd probably like doing archery together! revalis issues later on kind of start when his opinions on link. dont change because fundamentally its the same just views it at a different angle. so the normal type of bonding is strained slightly. he doesnt know How zelda hates link as in the specific way she hates link not. how could she. thatd be kind of stupid. but like. her thought process. and when his has changed and hers has not he just kind of lies. i dont want link to be the only factor for this either; general things like once again the social statuses of the two and how that’d affect their views, just simply not getting the sheikah tech only really liking medoh, and just. not really knowing how to bond? revali has 0 hobbies. zelda tries to though it is hard when youve got to prioritize your powers. the sheikah tech is just an alternative method For her powers . she may have been genuinely interested in it if she hadnt had to worry about that but its more likely that it wouldve stayed buried. as of right now she Does like it but theres a more. desperate angle to it. shes less doing it because she wants to and more she Has To. plus she’d probably have shame about her ramblings, especially for things that arent Important like the sheikah tech. also she has no idea how to relate to revali at all. she doesnt get the training 24/7 thing and its like. ‘please tell me you do something. fun to do’ ‘ . ‘ . and then for her thered be the thing of when she doesnt hate link. no idea how i’ll make that work (im. Not doing the yiga memory for that one) or how gradually the change happens and whether she just kind of. projects onto him/just acts nicer or both. either way her opinion would have have to had changed from retaliation based on the assumption that link hated her to ‘oj he doesnt hate me.’ trying to make amends. but once that happens she doesnt really know how to feel about link. like on one hand the core issue of him not really being able to emote hasnt changed and cant change really. she has to be able to accept that or just. not care when people Do hate her. self confidence . especially consi

dering link didnt even hate her at first he just . Did Not Emote. gotta accept that people will think their things and move on. i dunno wording it it doesnt feel right but. yeah. anyways once that changes how does she. talk or relate to revali anymore. she doesnt hate link anymore what do they talk about. uh. so yeah! she’d probably try with chemistry and such but its a bit of a dead end. he’d be glad she’d appreciate rito culture and actively asks about things but theyve got to. talk to each other

post cal if revali and the others dont disappear!! he’d be pretty worried over all, and would Not approve of the whole reestablish the monarchy. zelda would uh. while she did in fact miss him and shes glad to see him shes not happy about the questioning of her life choices however she would be happy to see him. i think. gradually she starts the monarchy idea? because at first shes busy with living in kakariko and learning how to fight and exploring sometimes and helping paya and working on the slate/making a new slate with communications. this. this is actually furthering the they leave argument. however if they stay while wreath is doing fuck all then they can stay with zelda. also they could. just simply stay at their own regions and such….. they might as well be alive at this point. Anyways during that time she’d just be happy to talk and train with him. revali would elaborate on things wreath did so she Wouldnt do them (like getting hit by a boulder hypothetically). hes impressed by the machine guns she’d probably make at some point. however i think urbosa and mipha and daruk would take more of a lead on helping her. the same thing of agreeing on that One Thing pre cal would happen here too. but would probably openly disagree on some of the things she thinks during travels. i think she’d get more serious post cal though and he can respect that . more serious as in more willing to talk about things/snap. ts underswap sans is this a joke ruthless route

so basically ! mutual meh. more likely to get stuff done together but i dont think theyd know how to be friends with each other. zelda would Try at the very least its just hard. i dont know how well i explained any of this especially with zelda. also i dont think they could Not be friends its just they have very little commonalities. theyd have to be ok with that. also for more general observations revali thinks shes weird and zelda thinks hes weird firey flaming text the weirdos