#i cant write anymore lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

verticalplane · 3 months ago

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a jumble of some of my fav art pieces this year - all classic doctor who! lol! what a wonderful year it has been discovering this amazing and stupid show

#the matador salamanders are Barely fanart anymore but i know in my heart they are ramón #they may look like any old man to you but to me? id know him anywhere #that polly headshot is near and dear to my heart. i just adore how she came out #i have created so much art in 2024 and i dont care that it has all been fanart #it has made me draw and ink and write #it could never be a bad thing. this is my hobby anyway #i do what i want #falling in love with classic who has led me to some really happy places. ive had so much fun #i cant wait to have more fun in 2025. and who knows. maybe i'll finally watch the war games lol!#truly classic who has made my art so colourful and varied and ive really Really pushed myself #and worked hard to create visually appealing art

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ganondoodle · 2 months ago

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realized i painted half the environments on the first pages of chapter two in the wrong color and it kinda deflated the determination i had to push myself to get the first comic update out asap :/

#ganondoodles talks #i am so good at digging my own graves of creative failure #i can probably play with color correction but its not gonna look organic #idk i can always see that a thing wasnt painting that way in the first place bc it just doesnt fit right #(havent been able to work on anything for the past few days bc my lil brother was here and i just wanted to spend time with him)#(dont see him very often :( played the new mario party together until i couldnt stay awake anymore lol)#i am extremely caught between writing totk rant and concept art for the rewrite and ... comic stuff #i feel like the longer i dont get either done the less its gonna be worth it #and i keep flip flopping back and forth (and with depression artblock kicking my ass too) without getting anywhere #im guessing its gonna go on for so long it will either be far too little relevant anymore or my brain loses its fixation on it #i dont want it all to be yet another ambitious and forever unfinished project ...............#but i cant ever finish anything so i supposed my worry and struggle with all that is in vain anyway

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cerberus-writes · 2 years ago

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CARNIFICARE. —— A SHORT VN.

a stranger tells you a story about a monster.

&&. GAMEPLAY.

carnificare is coded in twine and playable in browsers. it is a text-centric story with visual novel elements — mostly because it was originally made for a vn game jam. it's a very short story, somewhere between 7-8k words long, and features art done by yours truly. please heed the content warnings. you can play it now on itch.io.

&&. RELEASE: V1 — PLAYABLE NOW ON ITCH.IO

#cer talks #carnificare game #cant trust myself to do long-form projects anymore it's just indulgent game jams with features that i thought were cool to develop and #then immediately let them take a nosedive when i start rushing 24h before the deadline #ill post a dev log and the full res of the art here later im fairly proud of them tbh #considering ive spent like . forever away from art and game writing for ages #anyway. enjoy 8k of my beloved fucked up gays LOL

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rosylix · 2 months ago

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i love that yall scream with me abt felix and stuff lolllll. i feel weird sometimes like i shouldnt post if im not writing cus yall are pretty much here for my writing.. so if im not writing like no one cares abt me lol but idk its still fun and it makes me so happy that yall still think of me even when ive not been active like thats so sweet?? jdnsjfjjs IDKK i cant articulate my thoughts correctly rn but i just wanted to say ily guys! 🤍🤍

#im so tired rn idk what im saying ldksjnfksk #lowkey kinda WANT everyone to forget abt me like PLSSS... the desire to fade into obscurity...... i hate being perceived 😭#i mean i feel like a ton of ppl already have lol #it feels so nice not being hounded for updates constantly..... phew...#ive barelu been writing this past month but when i do start again i'll probably not post anything until it's fully done cus like #i cant deal w pressure LOLL #if that wasn't obvious. but anyway #im starting a new internship which will be for the next 7ish months before i go back to school #soooo i'll probably have a ton more free time! no homework likeeeee lets go?#but yeah so no promises but im hoping ill get back into writing in a bit..! i do miss it #thats it for jems life update in the tags #dawggg ok wait yk what SUCKS. i have to start DRIVING......#im cooked fr i hate driving i can barely drive but 😭 i gotta go to WORK now ig...... cant just walk to classes anymore #and in crazy snow conditions.... fml......#my last internship i didnt have a license and just ubered everyday LOL #but that is so expensive #OKKAYY thats my main stress rn but once im moved and settled yall will hopefully hear more from me #like actual substance and not just screaming over felix. hopefully LOLLL #unless i get into a car accident. jk JKKK i will not even joke abt that that will not happen haha!!!+!! im not stressed at all #.txt

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toadboatt · 12 days ago

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Im coming to terms with the fact that maybe im not a good person.

Its okay. Well.. its not okay. But i'm going to be okay. Im just not that great. Its been forever since ive taken the time to write down my thoughts. I think we were running from that this past month. I didnt want to think. I decided i'd rather be happy for a change.. then i remembered that me ignoring my thoughts is only making me into a worse person. I am awful. I dont do anything. Im broke and i dont have a job. Its not like i dont have any options, i do. And thats the worst part. I have so many choices and so many things i need to be doing. And i dont want to do any of it. None of it. Nothing.

I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to think or be aware. I dont want to feel things or do anything. But i'm also not going to do anything about that either. I'm just doing what ive always done. Fucking nothing. Im selfish and im greedy and i ask for too much while i sit here doing fucking nothing. Nothing.

Im not a good person. I ignore my family's needs. I am selfish. The moment i do something for someone else i feel like i an owed something or like i should be praised for it automatically. I do the barest of minimums and people say im trying so hard and im so nice for some fucking reason. I ignored all of my friends and now i have none, and the ones i have i want to keep ignoring. I feel tired and sick of being fucking tired. All i do is fucking complain. And i dont do anything else about it. I sit here. In my room. Ignoring everything outside of me. And the second im asked to acknowledge other things i have a fucking hissy fit and cant function. Im a child. Im a grown ass adult. Or at least i try to show people that. I act so fucking mature and well thought out. Im self aware enough to call myself out on my shit. But that only does so much.

Im a bad person. So either DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.. or shut the fuck up.

#toad doesn't like talking to toad anymore #the void . . . . . . .#dude gets told one things and suddenly cant handle his own thoughts. hilarious #i am sitting in my closet as i write this. thats funny too #an ugly rant brought to you by some fucking loser lol #tw depressing thoughts #tw self deprecation #im not tagging anything else #read at your own risk i guess #Toad Begs For Attention but if you give it to him he's gonna explode #dont give me attention

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realbeefman · 1 year ago

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i'm a cis woman, but in the past few years i've developed a habit of headcanoning any male character i relate to as a trans women, beginning a fic trying to explore that, and then miserably falling short as i can never figure out how to end the story. i've recently joined a new fandom and started my most recent attempt at writing this ever-elusive character interpretation i've been trying to explain for years. and it occurs to me that maybe the reason i keep trying to interpret these characters i relate to as women and failing to, is because i'm trying to project the wrong experience. because i think that conclusion i can never fully bring myself to write isn't one about coming to terms with womanhood and embracing that identity, but about coming to terms with being a man.

so tldr im a trans man and this is a coming out post.

#shaking a little bit writing this but like. i dont know.#ive felt. alone a lot and ive been very scared of actually doing anything to make myself happy for a lot of my life #and ive felt a lot of shame about particularly. i dont know.#i feel a lot of shame in general #but about my gender. about feeling like i cant transition because i dont want to do it the way you see in media #and that its cool for other people to be gnc and trans and present however they want but #that itd be wrong for me. that id be faking #and i dont know i think im tired of running from it #im acting like this is some terrible truth. like this is an unspeakable evil i would inflict on the world by doing something that could mak #me happy. make me feel comfortable #i dont want that shame anymore #i never deserved it #anyways. i like the name angus. please call me angus from now on although autumn is actually still fine i do fw that name. always have #but i need to say this and put it out into the world and not take it back #this is my experience. this is my starting point. and fanfic and writing have been a big part of that #anyways. shoutout to #james wilson #most recent blorbo ive tried to trans the gender of. i think ill be able to finish this fic though lol.#trans #coming out #fandom #fanfic #personal #queer #lgbtqia

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calicotisane · 9 months ago

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Chapter 2 Page 15

#my art #visionary #webcomic #comicfury #white bg for tumblr because i cant see anything and its already torturing my images and making them blurry whatever #a hallmark of my 'creative writing' from middle and early high school is the random references to other texts #mostly music stuff and when i look at it now it feels like a maze of things i barely remember anymore or dont have as strong a connection #to or would never put in my writing in the present day. i did this with 'i contain multitudes' earlier lol repeating this habit but i've #been slacking on making it a consistent theme because there hasn't been much recent narration/monologue. thinking about it again though.#as fixation-seeking autism. but anyways - the waste land is a foundational text and those words are not hers

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alienseason · 5 months ago

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Sometimes I fantasize where some freak for some reason is making a retrospecive on the hlvrai Fandom back then and they interview me and I have to explain how at 14 I was asked by some 27 year old to find out who had been sending her death threats by infiltrating a server led by someone who thought that, since they only knew hlvrai, googled how old alyx half life was and got her age from half life alyx (in hla she is around 18?? And in hl2 around her early 20s) and started spreading that freemance was pedophilia and got nearly all the kids into hlvrai to belive two adults in a decades old video game was disgusting and anyone who liked the ship should be crucified- and then angering adult half life fans to where they turned on hlvrai and started hating it because of "all the kids trespassing onto their territory" and causing a mini flame war until we found out who was sending the death threats and they came out to everyone and deleted their social medias and THEN the baby blender happened and i was getting dms every hour asking if I supported baby blending.

#just reminising.....#there was so much more too i feel like i should write a memoir or something.#being one of the top hlvrai instagrams back in the fay scariest shit ever and people wonder why dont post hlvrai anymore lol #cant belive that was 4 fucking years ago #alien speak

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theloveinc · 4 months ago

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i don't really want to bc like. there's many reasons for me to stay but. i don't think this tumblr life is for me anymore

#obvs im gonna keep this blog like i'm not. gonna go away. i can't lol!#i need to have a space to post when i do have stuff to post ... with gachiakuta otw ofc !!!#but i think it's time .... i admit to myself i cant do this the way i did anymore #not even back in like. 2021 but even just. last year. im not someone who can sustain interaction no matter how much i want to #there's just too much on my mind and im too anxious and way too insecure and with the election i have students to take care of #my family to prioritize and i have to move house and get my credentials and my degree so i can get a job.#it's just too much really to be worrying about what i can do here .. ive been in denial for so lng #not that that changes anything for anyone here or anyone reading this. i'm not disappearing and im still gonna be reading.#but i need to officially relieve myself of duty... iN MY MIND. if that makes any sense.#im sure i'll write again one day. my writing has come so far and ive finally noticed. and im so grateful to have tried so hard #i never let myself down once. thats for certain. i did what i could when i could #but i can't anymore and that has to be okay bc its whats happening.#anyway nothing's changing dw there's just been a shift in my psyche thats all #and i might post less and reblob more .. but that's all!#still love u ofc <3 #caitie blabs

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mofsblog · 1 year ago

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Tfgraves is one of those ships that, on a very surface level, looks very domestic and kinda fluffy like haha bickering cowboy pirate gay people who are in love but also stupid haha, AND THEN YOU READ THEIR ACTUAL LORE AND BACKSTORY AND ITS JUST

Don't get me wrong, I love them, and they are surprisingly pretty functional despite everything that happened, but if I start thinking too hard about their "divorce era" (it's not technically a divorce era if they weren't technically dating but i dont care, being divorced is based on vibes/hj), I get a little insane about it

#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. They both need therapy so bad #they cope really well and theyre honestly sweet but good god do i get a bit fucked up if i think about how much shit they both went through #tfgraves #malcolm graves #tobias felix #twisted fate #league of legends #<- im doing it. im league posting on main i cant resist anymore #lol #txt #i really need to write a longer post about this because i have so many fucked up headcanons #runeterrablr

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lover-of-mine · 1 year ago

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I am BEGGING YOU give pining Buck that doesn't realize that the only reason Eddie is dating Marisol is because Eddie thinks he will never have Buck. Give me Buck not realizing he accidentally rejected Eddie. Please.

#i will not start another fic #i will not #i cant #i dont know how to write anymore lol #911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts

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3416 · 1 year ago

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are you normal or do you wake up every day and think about this

#about mitch. purposely sitting auston where he did and wiht the guys he did. and right there.. in the middle of it all #i feel they will never top this image (i say as i beg them to try flkdjskfl) like.#everyone else. talking to each other or laughing or smiling or filming and then theres auston......#like im sorry but thats unhinged framing and everyone go attack lizzie for bringing this bakck into my brain rn i cant live like this #I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS #IM ALREAYD GOING NUTS OVER THEM TO COPE LIKE THIS IS SO. this is the pinnacle of everyhting u want in an angsty but endgame ship ??#like i guess im gonna have to write my fucking self since eveyrone wants to populate the tag with ********* LIKE GOD #THERE IS MUCH TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS.#long ass future fic abt the way they manage to come together without hockey being the string anymore... ive got ideas. i jsut need the #conviction and the words and to make a playlist-- but like flkdjs #this image is the centerpiece of eveyrhting that would make the most beuatiufl heart breaking rewarding pining fic of all time like #no one else on earth could possibly do it like this. no one else on the leafs certainly lmfaoooo #cant shoehorn ur favs into random pairings if these men are out here doing this..................... of their own volition. please.#well u can but. u have bad taste lol.. open your fucking EYESSSS #they are so.#anyway.

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fallowtail · 10 months ago

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fighting for my life to try and get back into the groove of commenting on fics instead of just leaving kudos like a loser but the depression adhd brainfog is so severe i'm barely managing to read the fics in the first place. aughh god i am such a bad friend/supporter

#z #if i have failed and given up and can't write my own fic anymore after like 15 years of trying so hard to be a writer #i should at least be able to be other peoples hype man and lean into my role as being the NPC Support Team which is what i'm good at #but i can't even do that #what kind of a friend am i #the only compliments i really ever get are how good i am at making other people feel good about themselves #but i cant even do that anymore???#god 😭😭#re: my own fic someone told me i write well for a newbie #which they meant as a compliment #but i am very much not a newbie and have pounding away at this for the majority of my life #so it has completely killed all my confidence and i cant even try anymore lol

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ryuzatodraws-backup · 3 hours ago

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we are slowly reaching the climax

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60086974/chapters/162713296

#very slowly yes #copiia #copiiia #because i cant write very fast anymore lol #the band ghost #trans copia au #c3 #c2 #papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus ii

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tragicotps · 2 years ago

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