#i cant watch anything without being like
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fairy tail has so many goddamn characters that whenever im consuming any animated content i have to check a VA’s imdb just to figure out who they voiced in fairy tail because Everyone’s been in that show
#fairy tail#anime#voice acting#i cant watch anything without being like#‘oh thats laxus!’ ‘oh thats leon’#its so embarassing#even the lesser characters who were in one or two episodes#i have to sigh and be like#okay what minor villain of the week in fairy tail were you
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hanjitonin for @strayklds 💖🎁
#forhanji#bystay#createskz#staycompany#madebymel#kpopco#jypartists#malegroupsnet#han#skz#han jisung#holidays2023#hi my em <333 this is some hanjitonin just for you <3#i was looking at my sets last year and realized i didnt make one for u last holiday season bc we actually didnt rly talk then#which is CRAZY to me bc it feels like ive known u forever now#i cant imagine being here without u and ur hanji brainrot tbh and im forever glad we became friends#thank u for always being there to talk about anything from our very similar music taste to fandom discourse hahaha#and also thanks for so patiently allowing me to talk ur ear off about song kang the past few weeks 💖💖🤣🤣🤣#AND NOW IVE SUCCEEDED IN CONVINCING U TO WATCH MY DEMON 😈😈😈 AND YOUVE STARTED A KDRAMA SB#my win of the year tbh ☝️#i hope u have a wonderful holiday season and new year and everything as u deserve <3 ily my shared braincell 🫶🫶 HAHAHA
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i will cashapp $10 to the first person who can name 3 real life harmful things bob bryar did without accusing him of thought crime
#wordvomit#this isnt to say the things he said or thought are good or justifiable- just to point out that he never ACTED on them in any capacity#meanwhile he is being socially prosecuted to the extent as if he has. during such an awful time for his loved ones who are the only ones#who will be exposed to all this hate. possibly including the members of mcr#i understand thinking the things he said are sick and disliking him and being uncomfortable at the discussion but.#i dont understand how you can honestly morally justify half of the stuff people have been saying- like 'he deserved it' and whatnot#without contradicting the 'thoughtcrime isnt real' sentiment i see get thrown around so often ?#isnt the Overarching issue with conservatism as a whole not the idea of . moral purity and puritanism and#'everyone. everything and every idea ontologically different from mine and my communities-#they are objectively worse and i deserve power over them as retribution for what they've done'#ie colonialism. racism. yadda yadda#these are false comparatives bc discrimination based on unchangeable factors vs backlash to opinion is vry different but i still think#the core idea of 'no one who has not enacted harm deserves harm wished on them' kinda shines through it all#and there is a semantic debate to be had about the definition of harm but in this case i am using it to mean anything more Tangible#something that has a wider influence than 'the people who read/heard it were upset and uncomfortable' yea ?#im been waffling about this a lot and why it hasnt been sitting right with me as someone who is incredibly uncomfortable with a lot of his#final statements#it just reminds me so much of my dad and what ive watched him go through#as well as other people in my community during the pandemic#i cant disconnect myself from the humanity of that. especially while condemning him for lacking humanity
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feel like im getting stabbed in the chest every time i think about him. is this even what love is supposed to feel like
#... servant's song ♪#🍊 ☆ beloved .ᐟ#i love him i do. i grieve him the same way i grieve my father if not more so. but. i dont. thisbis fucking weird#i want my memories wiped. i want everything about kamukura gone because maybe then i could just let myself be happy#why cant i just let myself be loved. why cant i love him normally. why do i have to feel a little bit of fear with every muttered i love you#am i doomed? is there no way out of here? what do i even do with myself. i want out. i want to see him again but im scared of how i'll react#does he hate the person ive become‚ now that i've remembered it all? now that it's come into clarity?#if he saw me now would he even recognize me? im scared#i just want to be able to look him in the eye and say i love you without any fear. and for him to believe it.#im scared he wont be able to trust my love and my devotion because of what kamukura did to me#that itll be seen as coerced. or that i feel like i have to just to gain his sympathy. when thats not true#i love him. so much. i wish i could show that. i wish i could watch him sleep and feel at peace. i wish i could care for him while he's sick#i wish i could do so much for him without anything in return. i dont want it to be reciprocal#i want him to love me i want him to be near me but i also wouldnt want him to love me because he feels he has to#i just. i dont know what i want!#im scared im so scared i just want to go home. is anyone even still reading this? i hope not it's kinda embarassing#im not masking enough im not being fun. i hope i don't bore hinata when im not putting on a show#urhrvhrhvghhgh thats enough whining from me i should go to bed. maybe. i want to find my plushie of him but i dont know where it is
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Me: no I'm over my Avengers obsession actually, I've moved on to other things and am no longer interested in the characters
*stays up until 2am rewatching clips from all the pre-Endgame mcu movies*
Me: oh no
#tony flying the nuke into the wormhole scene my beloved#iron man 1 suit up scene my beloved#tony fighting bucky with the watch repulsor my beloved#literally any scene of tony and steve interacting my beloved#all the irondad scenes ofc#those go without saying#girlies you would not believe the irondad fics i have in my wip folder#just waiting to be finished#will they ever actually get finished however????.... maybe#now i just want to write an au where peter is one of the og avengers tho#like#peter cant go apprehend loki with the others because he needs to go home before may realises he skipped school#tony being such an asshole to peter because hes not gone through all the character growth yet and isnt soft tony yet#but he likes the kid really and doesnt know what to do about that#i have a vision#and if i can forget anything endgame onwards ever happened maybe i will actually write it#tony stark i love you so much man#my post
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as soon as a horror essayist starts talking about how depicting some horrific topics is just “in poor taste” or “offends people’s sensibilities too much” & thus specific horrific themes of any given nature shouldn’t be addressed in horror well. I lose all interest anyway even if the rest of what the person was saying was interesting
#rose.txt#horror#just saying#since I gave up on finishing the movie I continued the video essay discussing quiet horror#that referenced skinamarink & motivated me to finally watch the movie#(so I could finish the essay without spoilers) & spoiler alert -#not worth it! the essay veered off in a wildly pretentious anti onscreen violence pro censorship direction lmao 💀#cant a girl watch a video essay on subtle horror in peace 😔#also this is coming from a person who for many years could not touch anything with certain topics#due to triggers in the actual diagnosed clinical definition of the term#even so I don’t think there’s any horrific topic that should actually be BANNED#being pro censorship automatically makes me lose interest in your opinions. basically#like as a horror fan how can you be pro censorship
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#i miss my dumbass idiot cat so much i feel like im dyingggggg licherally that is my little baby guy i want my little baby boy back wtf#i cant deal with this shit i genuinely wish i was dead so bad#im having a worse day with it than usual and my usual was this bitch on suicide watch fr#I feel like its really starting to hit me that hes gone. and it kills me what do u mean hes never coming back thats my angel my baby i need#him#all i do is weep wish for death weep weep some more death wish again sometimes im granted complete numbness for up to several hours#i love totally dead inside time its the only time i can look at pictures of him without being 3 seconds away from throwing up#then its back to weeping on the floor. if i cant boop his little tiny nosey in the next 5 minutes im ending it all im not kidding#not to be dramatic but i feel like a part of my soul died with him lol#anyway. i hope i die#also everyone ignore me no one say anything i just needed to type this out#bb baby#txt.me
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computer fastest way to the joker lair NO freeways..... puter?!
#computer fastest way to not being exhausted all the time.....PUTER SAVE ME#im so#sorry not sorry im ranting in the tags rn#i havent had sex in so long#i wanted to hang wuth my partner this weekend FINALLY alone without having to fucking drive 7 hours to be alone and acutally ahve like no#plans and we get stuck with the baby and im so sick of being treated like an extra mother for him#i love him so much dont get me wrong but like..... why am i getting NONE in my relationship bc im too tired after dealing with him or the#teenagers and the one fucking time ive been looking forward too all week i get fucking dumped with the baby AGAIN#like i do not want kids for THIS EXACT REASON no fucking free time no fucking time for myself or my fucking hobbies or my fucking partner#i wanted to cut and dye my hair today after shopping i wanted to sit and fucking watch a movie and makeout with my partner and instead i ge#a sick toddler whos fucking sleeping like shit to worry about like GOD I WANT TO SCREAM#im just#so fucking done with kids and babies anf fucking children and i cant stand this house and all the noise and all the fucking mess and just#EVERYTHING it is everything i hate and i cant fucking do anything about it and i fucking CRIED bc i was so frustrated and i dont cry super#often not bc like i think its weak i just its not smth i do often and im just sick of my relationship having to go ont he backburner bc of#the baby and IM FUCKING ONLY 22!!!!!!!! LIKE WHY ARE THESE MY FUCKING PROBLEMS AT 22 WITH A KID THAT ISNT EVEN MIIIIIIIINE#okay i need to shut up sorry#tw: vent#tw: rant#「mercury speaks」
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Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci
#can i say maybe i dont like where this is going bc i dont like the priest. like why not have dio do all this. i have to endure his boring#self while not having any motivation bc i still dont know why he wants to do all this bc that backstory doesnt justify anything#while dio is in the background and he has a motive to hate the joestars and create a world without them. idk#this is like light and near but unjustified#i would have prefered the priest resurrecting dio in some strange way than him doing all this i think#and i still dont like his powers ☝🏻 they dont make sense to me and the evolution doesnt either. how can you just flip stands.#also his rant about how he killed all his enemies... josuke and giorno are out there now lmao#retracting my statement they changed the opening but just this last episode#i do like the destiny stuff like the same thing happens in a new world bc of necessity and the whole plot has been about things happening#because it needs to happen but why does this reset need to happen??? why does pucci want it?? so everyone can be happy?? why??#literally nothing that happened to him has been the joestars fault. dio brainwashed him? ok SHOW IT#like the plot is okay but the priest doing all this makes no sense it could be anyone at this point#okay i get it now destiny is like gravity.... but his stands changing makes no sense still. the disc thing got out bc of the plant baby. ok#but the gravity just changed to something else entirely??? to time??#he kept repeating time and space but a space stand would be the hand. gravity is something else entirely#its not like velocity>acceleration or star platinum and the world velocity>time. that makes sense#gravity and time is like my stand makes anything into ice cream and then it makes things disappear#rant at this point but yeah#okay control. the priest wants to know exactly what is going to happen at all times to be prepared and evolve?? and why would dio want this?#weather report...... i mean it was meant to be#yeaaahhh emporio roast him#irene and anakiss ajdhaisjaisjakakakak#i might be crying but this doesnt change my pucci criticisms#the ending song..... incredible choice#i think i liked golden wind too much and i cant control myself and not compare#but pucci doesnt make sense to me here apart from being a priest and wanting to fulfill 'god's' purpose or whatever that means#so now there is a new world but with joestars but they dont have stands?? or just pucci doesn't exist (or dio)#so just the prison gang doesnt get them. but ermes didnt go to prison either. idk#talking tag#watching jojo
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im so jealous of cis guys. being able to grow up how they want and being confident in themselves and just. im so fuckin jealous. it is so hard. SO hard. to feel comfortable with someone else in a relationship when im not comfortable with myself. i hate it.
#i know this is stupid#im supposed to be proud of being trans and love myself no matter what and be proud of my identity but#fuck man sometimes id just give anything to be cis#like this shit sucks#i dont wanna fuckin do this anymore im tired of it#'nick ur only 18' YEAH I KNOW AND ITS STILL BAD#god im pissed off#i just. i hate that i cant be proud of who i am bc im not someone else.#im losing my mind i think#i wish i was cis so fuckin bad u guys. i wanna have the experiences of growing up as a boy that i missed out on.#i wish i couldve went to school dances in a suit and not had to worry about being stared at#i wish i could dress how i wanted and present myself how i feel comfortable without hearing those goddamn whispers behind my back#im sick and fuckin tired of it#anyway <3 im done <3 im gonna go watch youtube and pretend like i dont exist <3#vent#dysphoria mention
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I'll be fine as long as I never have a moment alone to think about anything
#my posts#if im doing something or thinking about doing something or talking to someone or listening to something#im okay. i just need something to focus on#but when i have nothing and no one to focus on immediately i think about my life#and i dont think about the plenty of good things in my life. i think about the problems that i cant set down#im not over anything that happened to me so i just think about it over and over again#and i cry about it all the time and im so tired but im too upset to sleep#so i just do things read things watch things. i learn what i can about whatever i can#anything that isnt on memory lane#i realized since dating this nb that this is what i use social media for#something easy so i dont have to think. thinking too long is the enemy#it always leads me to the same place and *evanescence voice* im so tired of being heeeeeeeeeeere#and i use nb for this too like when they're around i just think about them and i talk to them#its much easier to Do Nothing with nb around because their presence is inherently distracting#but i cant just do nothing All The Time even when im with them so eventually i turn back to social media#which really bothers them and its something we talk about a lot#and i havent explained any of this to them bc im still working it out myself#if my mind doesnt wander i will be fine. so whenever its time for bed and no one else is here with me i am not fine#i spend hours spiraling and i cant get out of it#i used to smoke weed about it and i remember only spiraling sometimes but not Every Night#i dont know what to do anymore like how do i get over myself#how do i do it without help
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gyus i think im a ltite wacky ☝️🤓
#hai i had a dreeam so im jaust gonna scream and then go back fo aleep cause its only 7am. too earlyz#idk if we will Ever feel perfectly comfortable in friendships cause no matter what theres always something missing#like w our favs its a near perfect puzzle but theres just. some piece missing and instead of focusing on the rest of the shit we actually#have we just worry ab them going to find that missing piece somewhere else cause like thatd make sense. duh they want a sense of fulfillmen#in their friendships which we cant give them#like duh theyre gonna go and search for it in other ppl and we will have to slowly watch them drift without being able to say anything#without sounding controlling or too insecure which will push them away more like yah duh#anyway i love puzzles logic games r our favs fhey r just better#vent#teehee hashtag mv#post#mae mention#im going back to sleellppp#i also.dont wanna reply ti anyones messages but whatverrrr love my friends i gee#yikers hashtag lame tumblrina
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😂😂 so like 😂😂😂😂😂 when am i going to get the instructions for making friends and talking to people everyone else got 😂😂 its a little late 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
#Whyd rhey have to make this human connection shit so hard . Why doesnt anyone care abourt what i care about#how come everyone else can hold conversations about nothing without getting bored and i cant .#how come i feel like im receiving automated responses. i feel like my interactions are all surface level#whh doesnt anyone seem as interested in anything as i do . Why do i feel like im being judged for indulging in my interests#how come when i say something it doesnt feel like anyone is sayi g anything back . Why do my friends turn my sentences into filler .#why does it feel like im in the middle of a hivemind and i dont know it . why does it feel like its all computer generated .#why can everyone else talk and laugh and converse withoit trouble but when its my turn everyone treats it like an obligation#nobody wants to watch what i wsnt to. nobody wants to listen to what i want to. nobody wants to talk about what i want to.#And if they just go along with what i wsnt to do im just wasting their time . we wont even talk about it . theres no expression .#i hate enjoying mhself when nobody else is. and i hate when others are enjoying themselves without me#but apparently im not a part of 'together'#how come even in small social circles nobody is treated equally . Whh does preference come into it.#Man. whatever.
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that post about visualisation and realising how many ppl CAN’T rly got to me….. like it is tragically fascinating to me that so many ppl can’t visualise. “can you picture the apple clearly” i can see it in perfect detail, down to the shape and texture of the stem and the drop of water on the side from being washed. i can see the table it’s sitting on, the house around it, the way the light streams in and the dust floating in it. i know what the living room looks like to the right and the garden out the door to the left, which herbs are first in the rows, i know what it feels like and smells like, what the apple tastes like, how heavy it is in my hand. i don’t have to close my eyes to do it either. i can see it picture in picture or i can let my vision fade and Go Inside My Head into this little house with the apple and i can pick it up and eat it and walk down the hall, peruse the bookshelves, go outside and stroll the grounds and meet the neighbours. i can see the apple in my hand in the garden or i can see it in my hand right here in the physical, can see it floating in front of my face.
what do u mean u don’t see anything. where do u go when u get bored of the place ur body is
#i watch fully scripted feature films of whoever i want in my head every night before i go to sleep#i can remember the details of every location in every book i’ve ever read. can remember the faces and colours in every dream i’ve ever had#WHAT DO U MEAN U CANT SEE ANYTHING#it just feels like another sense. like not being able to visualise must just be similar to being blind i guess#in the sense that u can’t imagine not experiencing it and u wouldn’t know how to describe Not experiencing it#there’s just nothing to describe at all#i feel incredibly grateful that i can visualise so well tho. despite the horrors that can come with it#i don’t know what i would be without it. it’s everything to me.
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to think that among the 93k words total across all works on my ao3 between 2020 to 2023.... that 53k of them would be written in 2023 alone...... the power of being freed from eye problems i SWEAR
#vibrating in my seat#my body might prevent me from more shit than id like it to#but it cant take away THIS accomplishment from me!!!!! haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#take THAT you shitty lazy eye youre not the boss of me anymore!!!!!#its been a couple months already and i swear im STILL riding that high#it never stops being amazing after spending YEARS unable to write draw watch tv play games read ANYTHING#without immobilizing migraines and double vision and nausea#i still feel so powerful and imma keep beating that dead horse for it fuels and rejuvenates the depths of my soul#rare sharan health W#sharan talks
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im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever
#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently#everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like#the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun#yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time#like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!!#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it#i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass#i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out#like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that#and theres no point doing that afterwards#and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just#mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about#and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes#sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it#and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone#i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just...#im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay#im gonna go now. im sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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