#i cant remember if her hair is fully down tho

[guideaus]

I think for makima vs nayuta, there's at least a noticeable difference here

Vs

[lrvsroq]

my total mf drama sexuality headcanons !!!

didn’t do everyone bc cant be bothered lol

beth is a pan girl if i’ve ever seen one. (& i should know lol) she just likes everyone tbh she had a lot of crushes on a lot of people during middle school. she’s very proud of her sexuality,, makes a lot of pan friendship bracelets and has like flags hanging in her room & pins. she/her prns but she uses alot of neo pronouns also

tyler is bisexual, he’s not outed to many people at all only close friends. tyler grew up loving football but the boys locker room convos that happened before/after trainings and games created a mentality that liking the same sex was wrong. tyler gets easily flustered around boys & girls equally he doesn’t have a preference. he/him prns

bridgette is very obviously pansexual babey. she just loves everyone & as they should !! bridgette is also genderfluid uses she/he/they prns. i hc that he cut his hair shorter but when she’s feeling more femme puts in hair extensions. another hc is that her hair on total drama was actually hair extensions.

heather is a lesbian with she/her prns. she struggled with comphet issues a lot. she always was hiding her sexuality during highschool especially bc she was popular and didn’t want to ruin that. heather played alejandro and literally couldn’t wait to kick him down a volcano.

harold uses he/they pronouns sometimes experiments with she/her as well. he’s under the bi umbrella,, possibly omni. their family is very supporting so there was no judgement there. he did get bullied for it though but he never let it bother them.

leshawna is a lesbian,, leharold still tho because harold is non-binary. leshawna uses she/her pronouns. leshawna has always been open about herself but i hc she actually discovered her sexuality kind of late.

owen is bisexual. honestly is this even a headcanon? canon. anyways owen uses he/him prns but he honestly doesn’t care if you switch it up he’s chill.

courtney uses she/her pronouns and is a bisexual women. took her awhile to come to grips with it/come out to people. but once she did she was proud

lindsay is unlabelled. remember unlabelled ≠ questioning. lindsay doesn’t really care/knows about sexuality really. she kinda just dates. she/her pronouns also.

noah is a gay man. he probably always knew tbh but never rly mentioned it bc he couldn’t be bothered. honestly if a girl came up to him he’d do a little flick of the wrist to send his message.

duncan is questioning. he struggles with sexuality a lot because he is definitely one of those people who are homophobic. he’s literally a canon transphobe. so duncan kinda being like “wait a damn minute- i like guys?!” is a whole like wake up call. and hopefully character growth honestly.

gwen is bisexual and non binary. uses she/they pronouns. probably knew age of 10-13 honestly. and looking back now they can’t understand how her mum didn’t pick up on it jsjsjs.

justin is gay with he/him pronouns kept it on the down low but always knew to be frank. and once he was fully out to the world embraced it whole heartedly.

sierra is pansexual,, she will love anybody. this is honestly so canon in my eyes. uses she/her pronouns also :)

katie & sadie are lesbians and are dating each other. both use she/her prns.

geoff is a bisexual man who uses he/him pronouns. he probably didn’t realise that he was gay until later on in life cuz he just assumed all dudes wanna kiss other dudes y know?

dj is asexual & queer! i feel like he’d use he/him pronouns but won’t care if you mess up or whatever. <3

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[randomsevans]

The habit

Steve Roger's x reader

For @jtargaryen18 #30daysofchris2020

Summary: your habit is hard to break , it's too addicting, one more time couldn't possibly hurt. Could it ?

You shouldn't be doing this again. You really shouldn't . Your just gonna get hurt in the long run . But what one more night going to do ? One last time you keep repeating to yourself . Its what you keep remaining yourself as you pull your sheets over and swing your legs around to touch the cold floor panels thanks to the chilly night .its what you repeat to your self as you open your bedroom door and make your way down the hall , to steve bedroom.

It's become a bad habit and you know what they say about habits there hard to break . A habit you know you shouldn't have . A habit you know is going to hurt you one day. It's just like you to catch feeling. But you couldn't help it ,its Steve and those so blue ocean eyes how could you not . This 'habit ' of going to steve bedroom began months ago when you let your friendship get out of hand one night. This 'habit ' usual involed either just sleep in Steve's warmth that you can never get enough of . Or not sleeping as much .

You know it was foolish risking your friendship . But nothing has seem to change for this 'habit ' . Apart from the fact you are falling and cant seem to stop . Even tho it is probably one side . But it might not be , why would he just let you come into his room if he didnt have feeling for you ,? This is an agreement you have had many nights by your self.

Your thoughts quickly stop , as you realise you are finally at your destination. In front of steve door . You were about to knock like you always do until you hurt some weird noise . Sounds that shouldn't come out of Steve room , well at least when your not in there .

'Maybe its coming from another room ?'

'Maybe it's from a tv ?'

You decide it was nothing and knock the door anymore . And the noise suddenly stopped. Dead silence you till your head in confusion.

While you hear a door open , it's not the one infrount of you , you turn around to see bucky come out of his room , with his eyes closed .

"Oh thank god , they final stop ,i was about to knock the door " he final open his eyes and there automatically widen .

"Y/n wh... what are you doing out here ?" He whispered , "should you .. you know " he pointed at the door "be in there with Steve?" He questioned just as confused as you .

'He must of know about you and steve ?'

A blush creep your cheeks "I was .... just about t..."

He cut you short .

"Ohhh ..." he paused and your saw his lips move you could of swear his months 'you stuiped montherfuker Roger's 'this only confused you more .

' doll why dont you come in my room for 5 minutes " you tilt your head confution .

"Why ?" You giggles. He just gave you a sad glance and reached a hand out for you , "please ?"

It was then you heard the door behind you . Steve's bedroom door . You glance at Bucky who just shakes his head , you just chuckle nervously, not understanding a thing. Until you turn your head towards steve door. Expecting to see steve in his usual night attire. But instead Sharon with a robe around her . Her hair messed up and neck flushed with little bruises.

You heart sank.

Chest tighted .

"Yes ?" She questioned quite impatiently as if in a rush to return to her activities .

You couldn't move, you couldn't speak. You just stared at the ground in embarrassment .

"Ummm I just wanted you two to keep it down " Bucky came and stood next to and put and arm around your waist. Allowing you to took your head in his shoulder .

"Oh sorry I'll tell Steve then " she giggles putting her hand infrount of her mouth.

"Thanks me and y/n will be going now " James turns you to around and head into his room . Fully knowing you shouldn't be by your self right now.

"You and y/n in same room , I didnt know you to were to..." sharon was beginning to question.

"We are just heading bed now Sharon , we couldn't sleep cuz of you two so if you dont mind keeping it down ?"

"Sure !"

It was at this point James had pushed into his bedroom while he was still outside and shut the door . This left you more confused until you head futher mumbles and then followed by laughter . You know that laugh anywhere the only man you had allow your self to fall for . 'Stuiped stuiped you ' Steve was outside now . Then you heard Buckys uncomfortable laugh and goodnight.

You could only make out the blurry shapes as, James door closed and came up next to you and wrapped his armes around you , this allowed you to face his chest . And finally let the tears fall .

Bucky began to rub your back repeating the same things " I'm so sorry " " his an idiot " " oh forget about him " " it's okay " " it's all gonna be okay " "he didnt see you " " I'm so sorry " "you are nothing compared to Carter " "now come on l/n you dont deserve this , he will soon realise "

You couldn't help the loud snob and your chest began to loosen .

"James what's going on ?"

You turned your head towards James bed and notice a redhead . No other then Natasha. God if this night couldn't get any more embarrassing.

Bucky leaves your side and goes over to Nat .

"Well , Steve has just made the biggest mistake of his life " Bucky chuckled going of to Nat .

Nat shoot up noticing you and your tears "y/n!" Then she goes full momma bear "what the fuck has he done our peach " you could she her shaking with anger . 'Peach ' is the nick name she gave you on your first day and stuck ever since .

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sat at the kitchen isle along with Nat , Bucky , Tony and Sam other was still asleep or working out . After along night of crying and explaining your 'habit " with Nat and Bucky (which they already figured out) you was emotional and physical drained .

You were eating your bowl of cereal in silence, when you drop your spoon into the still full bowl , making the milk splash around you. Being everyone attention to you and then followed you eye line towards steve and sharon who had walk in together hand in hand.

Your chest tighten 'so it wasnt just one time mistake ' you felt the tears threaten to make another appearance you dont understand how , you just assumed that you were all dried up. Bucky was shaking his head , while Nat looked pissed as . Bucky placed a hand on her arm to keep her seated .

"Morning all " steve said .

"Morning " said in unison but it was of putting and out of tone . As you whisper and Nat snapped.

"Oh my , oh my, what do we have hear ?" Tony shouted with excitement walking towards steve and Sharon who were sharing a disgusting wide smile. "Does the Captain final have a girlfriend?" He joked laughing.

"Actual yes !" Steve said happily making everyone stop , including your heart.

"What !" Buckh finally snapped .

"Me and sharon " steve smile only widen bring his and Sharon hands up.

"How long?" Nat bark .

"Nearly a month " sharon spoke up .

'What !' You mentally shouted , that why hes been so distance. But he still allowed you in his bed . Now it all came clear . He didnt have feeling for you, like you did . He just thought you needed comforting.

"Well this is good new " Tony shouted "isn't everyone "

"Yeah " " sure " congrats " was shared around. While you just nodded holding back the waterfall and trying to remember how to breath. As Nat only glared in anger and turned to you and Bucky , who both said in unions "he just made the biggest fuckin mistake of his life " they whisper yelled .it made you chuckle about , no wonder there a couple , there the female and Male version of each other.

In the corner of your eye you saw Steve and Sharon make there way towards you. But just in the nick of time time Buck stands in between you and Steve .leaving Rogers only to frown .

"Come on y/n we got training to do " bucky said and you nodded in agreement and stood up from your stool and began to walk with nat to the training room

"But me and her usually tra....."Steve began almost saying it as if he was distracted. Bucky just turned around and ignored him , heading towards you and Nat . Leaving Steve looking towards that direction confused.

One things for sure ,the habit is broken.

[yennefer-stark]

The time was night, the date was wednesday and it was cold and dark because the winter is approached. The lamps in the street gave to the road a dim-lit light as well as the sidewalk. She walked directly to the bridge, and no, she doesnt wanted to commit suicide, she just wanted to be alone, sang out her sadness in the night.

"Everyone got their soulmate... Tony got Pepper, Thor has Jane, Clint already had a family and two kid, Natasha and Bruce are a couple... Hell even Steve with Bucky"

She thought that and started to sing:

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart? 

Can you feel my heart?

Can you feel my heart?

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Can you feel my heart?

Can you feel...?

Her beautyful voice slowly closed, a knot grew in her throat as she started to sob, then cry. She felt nothing but darkness and being alone, while she was the heart of her team. The fact and happy memories didnt helped. But remembered when Steve laughed in the joke, remembered when Tony gave her a compliment about her progress, the training in the gym with Nat, sometimes with Bucky or Steve, even the archery competition with Clint. Her brain closed out those memories and forced her to not let inside. On the other hand... a tall, slim figure watched her. He has got long black hair, a pair of mesmerizing emerald green eyes, sharp features wich was particularly attractive, pale skin and mysterious aura. He hid in the shadow, just like he did in his childhood. He understood her pain, what's more, he felt the same. Being lonlely and left behind. To be honest, the girl would gave everything for a hug and being in a comfy place... Between someone's arm.

-Yes. I can feel it. Why are you here in those times? It's dark, dangerous and you dont know how many serial killer around you. You should go home.

-I dont think that two killer would've such a good talk like us.

Said the girl without looking back. She wasnt scared, she was still sad. The man, however was suprised from the answer.

-In fact, I'd be happy if you'd kill me right here.

-Why would I? I mean I'm not going to kill you.

-Then why are you here? Why dont you leave me alone? You know what? You're right... I'm going home and put on my "nothing happened me, i'm perfectly fine" mask.

Then without a single word, she vanished from the bridge back to the Avengers Tower, where ofc everyone was happy. Well, almost. While our girl was in her room, deep in her thoughts, the black haired man stormed through rooms, used the elevator until he found his brother. He knocked on the door, with a bit of nervousness. Soon, a tall, muscular, bearded blonde man opened the door. His face immediately light up btw. He loved his not so little brother.

-Where you've been Loki?

-None of your business brother.

-Then why are you energised? You always nap and brood in silence. Something has changed I can tell.

-Whatever. How can someone make a sad person happy?

-Someone wants make you happy, or you are the one who doesnt want to commit a crime?

-This time, the second one brother.

Loki quckly arranged his face before Thor could've figured out what caused the change in him. He really hoped that the girl told the truth to him, but doesnt thought that she's inside the Tower like he or everyone.

-Well... Kind words helps most of the time.

-Geez, she wanted to die, by my hands. BY MY HANDS! Shes even more depressed than me brother.

-How she looked out?

-Well, she was at my chest height, or at least i think, she sat on the ground, and i'm not a cat, I cant see in the dark... Btw she had dark hair, maybe brown or black, waist lenght, straight. Her voice was.... Truly beautyful, even when it broke and started to cry.

-Hmm... Looks like you met with Valr. Oh brother, if you really want to know her better, it might be a big bite for you. She only talks when someone ask something from her, and I've never seen or heard her laughing. Most of the time she is in the library, gym or in her room when she isnt on a mission, out here with us. But to be honest, it could be anyone. I wish you good luck, if you really saw Valr... She's a worthy warrior.

-One more question before Ieave. Does she used to attend at dinner?

Thor nodded as an answer for the question, then closed the door after Loki, who teleported to the library. He found it empity tho. But at the other hand, Valr successfully picked herself up from the floor and walked to the common kitchen. She sighed in relief, she was alone, but not for a long time. As the time passed, the table was ready for the dinner. A whole set of plates, forks and knifes with table napkins. As the clock hit 7:30pm, the rest of the team slowly started to attend here and fill the room with energy and happines... The first, and most hungriest person was Bucky, then Steve, after them Natasha and Bruce. Thor followed them with Loki who seemed distant from the others. Clint arrived before the two god. As usual, Tony didnt showed up.

-Ah, Lady Valr, take a seat and eath with us.

-Thanks Thor, but I'm not hungry. I already ate and now I'm full.

-At least, stay with us and drink Val'.

-This cant cause any problem I guess.

The god of mischief immediately looked at Valr from the corner of his eye, when she lied to Thor without batting an eye. He already liked her, and planned to give her leftover food. Somehow he felt what the girl felt. The hardness of keeping the mask on... He greeted as an old friend. Sadness, even depression? Those kind of feelings too, but he played along with Valr. After they finished the dinner Steve stayed in the kitchen with Bucky to do the dishes and everyone went to their room. Except Loki, who kept an eye on her and sneaked up some food for her. He knocked on the door.

-Yes? It's open.

-Thank god it's open, I brought food for you Lady Valr.

-Why? I said I'm not hungry.

But Loki just smirked under his nonexistent mustache and placed the plate on the table. He found her reaction rather funny...

-Honey, you can not lie to the god of mischief.

-Great. Thanks for the food, you can go away and leave me alone. I dont need anyone in my life.

-Really? Then why are you scared to get close and hate being alone?

-I said, you can go away and leave me alone. Are you deaf or what?

-Slow down Lady Valr, there isnt such a reason to behave so mean, but as you wish. I leave you alone now, but I'll keep an eye on you.

-This is what I missed... I dont need baby sitting.

-Have a goodnight, Lady Valr.

If she could have a good night, she'd have a dream, but the next day's morning she went on a mission with Bucky. So she woke up at 5am, streched a bit, then had her regular morning routine before grabbed the suitcase and went to the kitchen, where Bucky waited for her. The smell of coffe enchanted a smile to her lips. The man with the metal hand greeted with a nod, and offered her a cup of coffe. Luckily he knew how Valr likes the caffeined black-ish liquid.

-I cant believe you are in this mission, I know how much do you hate Russia.

-Yes, but you cant dance with Nat, and noone else can speak fluent russian beside me. Do you have that magic tho?

-Poof. It will last while we're close to each other. Maybe one mile... I didnt need to use this spell until then.

-Wow. You amaze me every time Valr.

-Now let's go, I'm sure Tony already booked a flight to Moscow...

They boarded the plane and sat in silence after they talked through the plan. Bucky, who could never escape fully from the past, started to analyze Valr, but it was hard, even for him.

-З-здравствуйте...меня зовут...Valr...

-The hell did you just said?

Bucky never heard Valr talking in Russian so perfectly. She said those words without any accent, and he almost answered in the same language.

-Just one of thies things I can say in Russian.

-Well, it was perfect, but let me talk in Russian. Not because I love it, but 70 years experience from missions is still experience... Oh god, I already miss him...

-If you show feelings towards him, we might be caught. Steve still wanted for the underground, secret organizations in Russia. I know, you're gay for him and he's bi, but we need to play that we're a couple.

As the days passed by, Valr and Bucky grew closer to each other, talked about how they got captured/kidnapped and used to achieve bad goals. Not that fact they were so distant from each other, but they were the two person out of the Avengers... who were the quietest. As the day approached, they practiced a little dancing. You need know that the thing they search for, can be found in a Ball, wich held and organised secretly by Hydra. Extremely evil, right? But they had allies in the shadows and under the sun... When the day has arrived, you could cut the nervousness in the air with butterknife. Now, Valr understood why Bucky doesnt like to take a walk at daytime, unless he did it with Steve, his safe-place.

---------------------------------------

Untitled "little" story

Part one

I hope you liked it if you tripped over it...

@winterbuckytho @itsbuckyb1tch @i-smell-penniess

[glorywaited]

☽ /   @thiefreign​ :  das ship meme                SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU :  ( accepting !!  )

thank u for enabling me n my daily sole source of serotonin with these two !! ihu cause i love all our millions of verses so.... mmmaybe i’ll throw in some specifics...

Who said “I love you” first : it’s usually eugene tbh -- but iirc cass drunkenly confessed in our canon verse but neither remembered that so does it count idk... n cass tbh probably yells it at him out of frustration in my street raised verse because he is the worst but usually she waits for him n they pine after each other forever because they’re absolute idiots...the smartest idiots... but eugene generally breaks first because he’s him && as far as saying the actual phrase...that’s always eugene because ykno cass has to go through her ‘me too’ phase of just responding with ‘me too’ n actually fully meaning it entirely but terrified to say it dhajmd

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background : eugene. always. especially with model cass because like...look at her. but honestly any modern cass usually has him on her home screen especially the pic from that one time she tried to take a pic of him peacefully n cutely sleeping n dropped her phone on his face...

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror : both but cass probably started it when they were fwb n he was being annoying after shower sex n talking too much n going to do his usual skincare routine n everything n before he could wipe the fog away she drew on a moustache unibrow n devil horns n now they do that to each other n leave little notes or terrible drawings in the corners of the mirror. for pjo / hp / any teen verse tbh they probably just do that to each other a lot n it’s always way more ridiculous drawings or notes n she probably just writes ‘dork’ all the time so he sees it later 

Who buys the other cheesy gifts : eugene does cause he’s good at cheesy n cass is not but she’d probably buy him things as a joke tbh. generally she’ll give him practical / thoughtful gifts out of nowhere just because she saw it or saw he was running out of something n refilled it for him, things like that.

Who initiated the first kiss : tbh it’s usually eugene or it’s one of those mutual things where they both end up leaning in n before they can really think it through they’re already kissing followed by a soft pull away, look at each other n then going back in because oops they opened a faucet they cant shut off. but every time eugene initiates no matter the verse it always surprises the hell out of cass cause she just does not think he likes her, especially verses where they’re teens n the denial is high but she always kisses back immediately n usually always initiates the second kiss

Who kisses the other awake in the morning : eugene started it but cass really, really enjoys whenever he does. it startles her the first time in any verse, especially our canon verse since she’s so jumpy but she definitely starts doing it too whenever she wakes up first. she’ll brush his hair back gently n kiss him softly to wake him but every so often when she’s being a brat she’ll wake him up terribly by tickling his sides of blowing a raspberry on his neck....n other times she’ll wake him up by kissing his neck n generally attempting to initiate morning sex n she’s not sry about any of it :\\\

Who starts tickle fights : EUGENE. ALWAYS. in proooobably every verse...maaybe not hitman cause he’s edgy unless it’s like deeep into their relationship but :\\\ she hates it n she fights back every single time because she will NOT be the only one to suffer

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower : cass does not ask -- well, she sometimes asks if he wants her to join him -- but she does like sneaking into the shower with him because she likes showering together but she also likes being nasty so...

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch : i feel like both depending on the verse but i can see them both doing this for each other in most verses ?? in canon its cute to think about eugene surprising cass during her break from handmaiden duties with a small quick picnic tbh because the denial is hilarious n theyre like its just a FRIENDS LUNCH n everyons lke UH HUH THATS A DATE ?? n post series cass absolutely brings him food when hes working as captain. modern cass in like any of the verses she’s with actor eugene / flynn would bring him things to set even tho they have food but she just...wants an excuse to be around him lmao dhbajkmd especially any time model cass is visiting him when he’s filming but i can see him doing the same whenever she has shoots near him ??

Who was nervous and shy on the first date : oh cass is always nervous on the first date no matter the verse because she has intense abandonment issues n thinks shes gonna lose him n doesn’t deserve love so she’s Highkey nervous the whole time until he makes her laugh n calms her down cause he just...notices she’s rly tense tbh n that helps her a lot to just ease into it n have a good time with him. but it works both ways, she can tell if he’s ever nervous n he tends to get in his head a lot so she’ll calm him down too n just place a hand on him n get his focus on her

Who kills/takes out the spiders : cass takes all spiders gently in her hands n takes them outside. however...pjo cass is the only cass terrified of spiders because Child of Athena n eugene definitely takes the spiders away for her whenever she starts to panic n calms her down after n she feels silly for it bhdjasm

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk : eugene does, he’s a louder drunk than her n it’s way easier for him to yell that he loves her to everyone... but she also has the tendency to accidentally blurt out her feelings for him when she’s very, very drunk. or in actor eugenes case, he confesses to her while SHE’S blackout drunk n won’t remember :\\\

[shadowdianne]

hello there, do you have any advice on what to do after being stabbed in the back? it's for a friend

Hello my friend. Uhm… about being stabbed in the back you say? I certainly don’t know how that could be correlated to ANYTHING on my recent posted stories. (xd)

(Don’t despair tho. How about something like… this?)

A/N In order for the right part of the actual fic being understood we need to look back to a previous written moment that is actual canon on our little story. I’ll mark when the actual moment ends and the fic starts but I’d say that it’s going to be quite obvious. If you have any doubts regarding lore and why are we doing certain things don’t hesistate on asking Xd Also, did I get it right H? Was that your tumblr, darlin’? 😉

A/N2: This happens BEFORE our current situation and backs up the reasoning behind Freya’s weakness against psychic damage and how Jericho and others have learnt to maneuver through it. In case M hasn’t sent you this one.

 She wasn’t entirely risen by the voices whispering at the other side of the closed door; she didn’t truly have the memory of when she had awoken, to be honest. Just a blur of morning light and scurrying shadows that had become clearer the longer she kept her eyes open. It hurt to breathe, though, and there was a phantom pain at the height of her diaphragm: as if something had punctured it enough times for her lungs to heave.

She was surrounded by softness; the quality of the sheets that covered her good enough to make her remember the bed that had been hers back at her parents’ home and she curled her hand around a fistful of the fabric while pulling it closer to her face. The scent that permeated them, however, wasn’t the salty one from the bluffs back at her childhood home but herbs and remedies made out of lavender and night jasmine and she inhaled it as her mind kept on swirling.

There was something there though; a vacancy, a haze, that made her swallow, uncomfortable, as she heard Allura’s voice at the other side of the door. Urgent; worried. The answering one was Ireena’s; much calmer, subdued, and accompanied by a set of footsteps so light she suspected no one but someone accustomed to Jericho’s way of walking would have heard. Pressing the tip of her tongue against the back of her teeth, she focused once again on the haziness that tinted her mind.

She remembered some things; the fight against the creature. Vera’s awful way of trying to make it look towards her direction as she brandished her new sword, the one she had managed to buy from the poor merchant they had helped a few towns ago. She also remembered her own magic; feral and blue-colored, as she had called forth Sehanine’s power. The moons had shone between the clouds, their light growing brighter the longer she kept the connection open, circling her, penetrating her, filling her, until she had expelled it towards the fangs of what seemed about to devour them all.

She had heard a screech, a sound so high she had winced while wishing to have had the thought of covering her ears. And then…

Then nothing, darkness.

There had been other moments when she had felt the anguish rising up her throat, clawing its way up her flesh, ripping through her muscles. She had usually needed a few days under Jericho’s care to fully come back, complaining all the time as the tiefling tried his best to make her see that it was good to admit that she needed external help. A thought so risible that she now wanted to laugh yet again.

She could recognize a psychic attack when there was one. The numbing pain, the excruciating memory of her own alive status, the throbbing of wounds that weren’t hers but should have. She glanced down, at her fingers and the white-hued knuckles as they grasped the sheets; she was naked down them, she could feel the graze against her bare skin and, glutton as she was for punishment, she opened and peeked down, at the tattoos that were visible from her angle: starry and dark against her skin. A spill of ink against a white piece of parchment.

She skimmed her fingers from her free hand down her collarbone, reveling on the goosebumps she created on its wake. It was a strange sensation, almost as if it was something occurring to someone else, someone that was connected to her but just far enough for her mind to still feel deliciously numb. She wondered, and not for the first time, if she could keep the numbness forever, at least until she died.

Perilous thoughts, worrisome, but still ones she liked to entertain. Or, better, ones that never quite left her no matter how many times she pretended otherwise.

A sudden yell at the other side of the door, the echo of Ireena’s voice as she said something in that dialectal version of her own druid cant, made her halt, the cobwebs her thoughts were diluting as dew under the morning light. She moved her hand back up, covering herself once more and inspecting not her immediate surroundings but the room she was in.

It was one of Allura’s. Not the same she had stayed in during her first weeks back in Emon after…

After.

The bed was more spacious for once, the windows opening up to a second-level balcony and the details on mahogany made it quieter than the one filled with books and golden details she remembered from her last stay. Door at her left, closed and covered with etched sigils and a small yet probably enchanted chest at the end of the bed itself completed the room. It wasn’t much. But she suspected that had been the whole idea of leaving her alone.

She still could remember her screams and cries the first time she had opened her eyes after a psychic attack, the way her lungs had stopped as she had cried her heart out, as she had called for the gods, any gods, to take her soul and give the world back the ones that had been lost. Jericho had found her that day, mud up her knees, fingers dirty and bloody, magic dripping out of her in thick rivulets of energy that turned black everything they touched, sucking on its life-force, leaving it dry.

*“For the glory of the Twelve Allura, I merely was trying to help her!”

“I know that! But I also told you that we should wait a little bit longer before exposing her to your potion, you even said it so yourself; it’s still very early on the trials. We don’t know if it will have any consequences on her psyche…”

“Worse than the ones she has every time some kind of monster starts to thrash around on her head? Yeah, I’m sure whatever I give her will be worse than that.”

“I’m not…”

“She is awake.”*

Freya wasn’t entirely sure how Jericho always managed to known when she was awake, or how he could tell from the other side of the door but as soon as his voice filtered through the door, she jumped and went directly to the chest, sheets falling down around her as she fiddled with the lock until it opened. Inside, a new set of clothes welcomed her. Allura’s, probably, or that one friend she insisted she needed to make amends with -was it Kyma? She wasn’t sure-. Nevertheless, and despite them being maybe too tight on some places, she knew there was no point on pretending to be asleep no more after Jericho’s words. They would probably check up on her soon if she didn’t make any obvious noise and, despite the numbness and the slow realization her tongue and throat indeed felt weird, as if something akin to belladonna had been shoved into it a little while ago, she didn’t want them to worry. Or ask if she was alright.

She should have been more careful; probably. That’s what Vera would say with a scowl adorning her stupid face.

Sighing as she pulled the sleeves down her forearms as much as she fabric allowed her, she kicked the floor a few times, testing the deer-skin boots. Flexible, but the obvious scarring around the ankles told her that they had been fitted to withstand heavy armor rather than the lighter one she was accustomed to wear.

Definitely not Allura’s.

She stopped once more as the whispers at the other side of the door resumed once more, subdued and soft as if both the magician and the druid had decided that she shouldn’t know what they had been talking about until then. A potion had been mentioned. Ireena’s potion.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t trust the woman: her mentor had proven to be incredibly wise. But also succinct and not very forward if she considered she didn’t need to know apparent obvious details. And last time she had gotten a taste of belladonna…

Shivering at the burst of pain that particular memory brought with her, she walked towards the door, reaching for it, while glancing at the disarray she had left the bed in. She could always gain some more time if she made the bed, of course, but she wasn’t feeling entirely like it and she suspected there would truly be no point. Turning on the knob, she noticed the sigils glowing once before they died once again, the spell one she couldn’t quite recognize, made out of a magic she wasn’t knowledgeable of. Uncomfortable by the situation, the half-elf stepped outside the room only to be stopped once more by Jericho’s arms as the tiefling hugged her.

He smelled of leather and burned oak and there was very little else of him she was able to focus on before he took a step back, his hair in more disarray than usual as he took into her face, hands falling at his sides. At his back, still glaring at each other while seated around a table in where three teacups rested -cold, probably, due to the lack of steam rising from them- Allura and Ireena sighed at unison.

“Next time you try a new trick I’m going to tie you against a tree.”

Jericho’s voice made her glance at him once more, a smidge of a smirk on his lips despite the worry on his eyes. He was trying, that much she could tell, to appear non-fazed but they knew each other good enough and if there was something Freya hated was such obvious attempt at subterfuge. Rolling her eyes, she shoved into him friendly enough for it to be non-threatening, while she still addressed the two other occupants of the room.

“You gave me a potion?”

The air in the room froze and it became visible for a moment as the question made Ireena growl on her seat before she, too, rose. The tint on her skin seemed paler than usual, blue veins coloring her neck, bulging on her forearms, as Allura mimicked her.

“I found a way of keeping your outbursts at bay. Since you won’t stop adventuring.”

Allura crossed her arms at Ireena’s words. There it was, the protector’s need, the will Freya could recognize as it had once upon a time been hers. Not anymore though, not with the same intensity.

The ones she had longed to protect and care for were dead. But while she recognized the forlorn thoughts as the aftershock of a psychic attack the scarring pain wasn’t crippling her. Something was keeping her functional.

She swallowed, tasting the belladonna once more, the mix with it and something else, something she couldn’t quite place but in her mind it left a silver tray of magic and frozen leaves.

“What do you mean?”

[On with this!]

-.-

Jericho’s groaned as both he and Freya stepped outside Allura’s tower, the sun high and biting every shadow high-noon light couldn’t quite reach in-between the pebbles that covered the otherwise soft-looking road. His muscles were sore, wooden, and he messed up his hair always conscious of the two small horns that jutted from atop his forehead. He had barely gotten any sleep last night and the discussion and posterior conversation full of magic lingo that had happened once Freya had woken up hadn’t exactly helped to the blaring headache he had been sporting ever since he had insisted on getting the druid checked with the Archanist.

At his back, Freya sighed, eyes dull and expression contrite. The half-elf had barely spoken after Ireena had explained the tonic she had given her had been readied with a situation like the one they had suffered in mind. The first time Freya had woken up, memories, and nightmares mixing in a far too real attack, Jericho had been at loss. A feeling he didn’t quite enjoy. Not ever and especially not when Freya was involved. Knowing there were steps in place in order to evade a repeat of the moment when he had gotten a whiff of how utterly broken Freya had been due to the loss of so many calmed him. Yet, he, as always, found himself weary of the use of a tonic, a potion. He knew enough of them to know they were useful and needed and he wasn’t proud enough to lie and say that magic wasn’t something that needed to co-exist with maybe the less overt ways his own kind used but there was something there, out of his reach, that made him glance back at Freya once more as the half-elf raised her head towards the sky.

He wondered if she was thinking on transforming back on her white crow form and fly away. It was something she did sometimes when the pressure became too much and lucidity was needed. He suspected that, if it wasn’t for the bruises and ghost-like appearance the druid sported, he would have already been left with a flurry of feathers and the taste of magic at the back of his throat.

“How bad it was?”

Freya’s voice echoed as she started to walk, leaving the tower behind while starting the descend of the quite step path that curved down towards the less flamboyant part of the city. She wasn’t looking at him per se, but at her own boots, as if trying to gauge how much everything had been hit once her eyes had been blind to the world. He used that moment to take a gulp of air, reminiscing even if he quite didn’t like to at the moment where he had seen her fall.

“Not as bad as other times.” He finally answered, voice subdued. And it was true, after all. The attacks were still terrible, full of blood that wished to be spilled, but there had been a soothing-like feeling there. As if the moons that fed Freya’s magic had been conscious as well. He truly didn’t have a proper channel with Sehanine and he suspected the goddess wouldn’t truly answer him if he asked but he could guess that the deity had been there, accompanying him as he had moved among the battlefield with only one goal in mind: get Freya to safety. “But…”

“Yeah, yeah, you will tie me to a tree if I ever try to pull something like that again.”

Freya’s voice was tinted now with amusement despite the obvious tiredness in the way her muscles shagged and Jericho couldn’t do anything but smile at that as the half-elf turned and, reaching ever so carefully, arranged his hair once more, giving a quick tug to the tufts of hair closer to his horns. He always tried to play the passable human rather than the tiefling side. Most due because it aided with the blending on a city like they were and his own addiction on not being in the spotlight. However, the white-haired druid always tried to mess that ideal as much as possible, twinkle on her eyes.

“Maybe not tying but I’ll definitely think of something.” His own response was followed by his right hand as he grabbed her wrist, as gently as possible but pressuring her skin just enough. A hug that wasn’t entirely given, not with the situation they both were in.

Which made him consider the conversation he would like to have with the half-elf at some time, at some point. Not now, though, not with everything that was and were. Vera said it: He liked to play safe. No bets were ever won without knowing for a fact they would turn out profitable. He was a rogue, after all, he never liked the concept of something failing.

And, he thought as Freya bumped into him before moving away once more, that was precisely why he waited. He liked her. But, what if…?

What if.

[Enjoy the chaos. I’ll certainly will]

[firstmatedville]

I'm gonna jot down some random taz balance headcanons I have because. wow I'm rlly hyperfixating on this again huh (i cant actually remember how canon complaint these are tho ngl)

- the two-sun planet is closer to our world regarding modern fashions whilst faerun has the whole Generic Fatasy Medieval aesthetic but they both have similarities to our technology in different ways

- taako and lup grew up during what was essentially the fantasy 80s and both went through so many damn phases

- taako had like. A minor "goth" phase during his elf equivalent of teenage years and lup still gives him shit for stealing her vibe

- as much as I like the idea of taako having an entire wardrobe of hats that's just not practical when you're travelling All The Time so he like. Uses magic to make the one single hat he's owned since before he joined the IPRE match whatever outfit he's wearing

- everyone on the starblaster fully took advantage of resetting every year to fuck with their appearances as much as possible but taako and lup generally kept matching (or mostly matching) hair colours

- bleaching his hair (didn't trust his magic so he did it manually) was part of taakos "oh fuck time to run away from just killing a bunch of people" mental breakdown/disguise (he also cut himself bangs and cried the whole time) but he ended up keeping it apart from minor changes here and there

- after story and song and getting a body back lup also bleached her hair uwu

[gleamingseok]

My calico cat - 04

Author’s note: helloo hellooo finally posting another part hope ull like this one !!

genre: fluff , hybrid , smut smut smut smut smut

u throwed urself  on the sofa relaxing after a tiring day while massaging ur temple  , jimin was busy arranging the clothes in his wardrobe , u were slowly drifting off until u felt jimin presence next to u

" oh sorry did not mean to wake u up " he said , sitting next to u

" no i just closed my eyes for a bit " u replied while getting up

he said "okaay ill go take a shower now and ..hmm ..."

" is something wrong ? u want something ? "

" can u please buy me these pills cus i need them today " jimin said while handing u a paper

" yeah sure ill get them for u now " u replied while reading the name of the pills

" thank u ! ill go take  a shower now also don't forget to take ur keys i might not hear u when u knock "

" okay im leaving now " u replied and left the house  

after 5 minutes of walking u finally arrived to the pharmacy , u got in and asked for the pills written on the paper , the woman started looking for them , and the curiosity almost killed u, u had to know what are these pills for, what if jimin is sick or not feeling well ?

" can i know what are these pills for please? " u asked the woman

" oh dear these are heat suppressant for hybrids " she replied while handing u the pills

" h-heat ?? " u whispered

" oh i guess this is ur first time having a hybrid ? well usually hybrids needs a partner to make them go through heat easily but if they cannot find one they just take these pills to calm them a little down until its over "

" oh now i get it , thank u so much " u said, then paid for the pills and left the pharmacy

on ur way home all u was thinking about is jimin going through his heat ......a partner ? is it painful to go through heats with no partner ? only pills ? ugh i had to ask her these

u got home after buying some food because someone forgot that the fridge was empty, u took off ur shoes , placed the food on the kitchen counter , while taking the pills to put them on jimin's bed u passed by the bathroom

" jimin i got u the pills , im gonna put them on ur bed " u said through the closed door

no reply , that's weird

maybe he couldn't hear u,  u started to worry a bit until u heard the water stop, u were still leaning over the door , and u could hear some heavy breathing .......again some HEAVY BREATHING

holy shit whats happening to him " jimin are u okay ??? " u started knocking

" ..........y/n "  jimin whispered on the other side

panicking u started banging on the door " at least try to open the door its locked !!!! " u said

u could hear some shuffling and water splash , until the door was unlocked

u opened the door with shaky hands u saw jimin laying on the floor,  pale , shaking ,breathing heavily , looking as if he was about to faint oh god please help me

u grabbed the big white towel next to u ,u dried his upper half and tried wrapping it around his lower half until a pained moan left his lips 

" fuck .. p-please i n-need ur help "  u froze  

feeling the hard thing against ur hand u then knew what was wrong , u started wrapping the towel faster and tried lifting him so u can put him on his bed  , u placed his arm over ur shoulder and started dragging him to his room , u opened his bedroom door  and u placed him on his bed u started to unwrapped his medicine quickly , u grabbed the glass of water next to his bed

" jimin i need u to open ur mouth , u need to drink this " u said while helping him to sit

" i-it hurts ... please help me " jimin whispered while holding ur hand he was about to cry he was sweating and in pain

oh god what am i supposed to do !!!! this is all my fault if only i came home earlier this wouldn't happen and he wouldn't be suffering now

" okay sweetie ill help u but u need to drink these first "

" c-can u hurry " jimin whined

" okay okay i-ill help u but i need u to drink this first " u replied while lifting his head and lining his lips over the cup , jimin took the pill and drank the whole cup of water , u then helped him lay down on the bed , not knowing what to do u were about to leave the room until he grabbed ur arm and pulled u toward his tired body

" u-u said u will h-help me .. so why are u leaving " he said , tightening his grip , his eyes full of lust , pain and desire ..... god i have to control myself

u stayed quite for a seconds not knowing what to say or what to do,  its now or never , u started leaning over him softly stroking his fluffy ears , a moan left his pink kissable lips , placing ur left hand over his chest while ur other hand was still caressing his ears , u got closer until u could feel his hot breath against ur lips , and that was it that was all what u needed to lean over and finally crash ur lips against his soft plump ones , he heatedly kissed u back expressing how much he needed u ,a small whimper left ur lips , jimin positioned ur body on top of his heated one and started attacking ur neck with his hot kisses while pushing ur hips harder on his so u can feel his fully hard dick , he started sucking too hard on ur neck when he felt ur soaked panties pressed against his painful erection

" f-fuck i can't " and with that said jimin flipped u over so he was on top of u , looking at u hungrily he started removing ur shirt and pants , throwing them aside , he took a moment to admire ur body , he leaned over until his lips were brushing ur ears and he sensually breathed     " u have no idea how much i waited for this moment , having u under me  " u could feel him smirking against ur cheek , u were too shy to tell him that u wanted it too since the first day u saw him in class

he then started kissing his way down ur breast removing ur bra all along with ur panties and started teasing ur wet entrance , ur heart was beating loud that u thought he might hear it too  " is this all for me ? what a lovely kitten " he purred while inserting his finger "a-ah fuck" u moaned ,  " shit ur so wet and i didn't even touch u properly .. f-fuck i cant wait to put my dick inside of u and fill u with my cum , would u like that kitten wont u ? " jimin breathly said

" yes p-please " u whined , jimin inserted a second finger stretching u and started pumping his fingers faster , u started moaning loudly grabbing the bed sheets under u , ur legs started shaking from the feeling of his fingers filling u , ur breath hitched , eyes rolling back , jimin knew u were close reaching ur orgasm but he had other plans

"f-fuck im so c-close " ur back arched feeling ur orgasm so near , suddenly , jimin quickly removed his fingers , u were surprised and just about to start complaining when he said

" i would love to see my kitten cum ... but fuck i would love it more if my dick is inside of u " with that said jimin was already pumping his dick using his precum as lube and started   slowly filling u , u moaned enjoying the feeling of him inside of u and stretching u u clenched around him  and jimin froze , head between ur breasts his right hand about to rip the bed sheet under u " fuck .. im gonna cum faster if u do that again .. p-please don't" , even tho he was in pain he still wanted to enjoy the feeling of ur warm tight pussy , just by imagining that u moaned and pulled jimin's face until ur lips met in a heated kiss , both ur tongue and his fighting for dominance but u gave up once he started pinching ur nipple sending electricity down ur core

" u have no idea how good u look under me  " jimin whispered while thrusting harder  , u were about to reply and tell him how hot he looks with his hair sticking to his forehead , his swollen lips and eyes full of lust but jimin interrupted u by rubbing ur clit in a quick pace " come for me baby .. i wanna hear u moaning my name " jimin said while kissing ur neck

" f-fuck jimin don't s-stop " u said while pulling his hair until ur foreheads were meeting , jimin seemed to enjoy the feeling of u grabbing him by his hair and pulling him closer which caused him to quick his pace and thrust harder than before , he was a mess and he loved it , he was grunting and moaning into ur temple , feeling ur walls tightening around him , he knew u were too close especially that u were moaning his name nonstop

" let me feel u kitten , come for me " and with that said u let out a strangled scream , ur body shaking under him as u cum , his mouth attacking ur neck once he felt u tighten around him

"fuck im gonna c-cum " jimin moaned onto ur collarbone , it took him a few thrusts until he reached his high as well , feeling his hot cum filling ur pussy , jimin pulled his dick with a whimper watching his cum dripping down ur entrance , too tired to get up and clean the both of u he pulled the blanket and then layed down next to u wrapping his arms around u and pulling closer enjoying the moment

u had too many questions and things to say but too exhausted to even open ur eyes, so ur just enjoying the warm feeling of jimin's skin next to urs , last thing u remembered was jimin kissing ur forehead while mumbling something .

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[yum-cy]

You reblogged an ask game. I will now require you to do all of them. Yes I know you hate me blah blah blah love you too

I cant decide if i want punch you for this or not. Also, flannel is repeated like 3 times

lantern: 6th grade science. i thought they were bitch. idk what they thought of me

frost: you deserve better and so do the people you hurt so dont do that this time around

maple: existing. ive never done it before (i dont really have an answer to this one)

harvest: idk. boris pavlikovsky?

fireside: i wanna look like a pirate/vampire/college student mash up

cider: i dont like food full stop.

amber: yall are so ready to punch nazis, but when was the last time you talked to a Jewish person. your support is important, but that doesnt just mean punching people for us

fog: i would lay down and ask for the zombies to kill me, so not too great

jack-o-lantern: kate mckinnon

spice: yep, my own (doors open and slam, electeonics turn on and off randomly, etc)

orchard: i wanna go to a haunted house or a corn maze or out of my house (all those things im not allowed to do) does that count? if not, figure out my emotions even a lil bit

crow: math? i cant do it and i kinda dont wanna fail

bonfire: small-ish? never silent, mine, full of people i love. always decorated for halloween. gothic and victorian. a manor fit for a "confirmed bachelor" but not as big and empty

cinnamon: if it werent for how much the world sucked, 1920s america. speakeasies, mafias, the disintegration of the american dream, a gritty undertone to something seen as sparkily? sign me the fuck up

cranberry: my hair. its ginger and fluffy and curly. people like it for some reason, but when they see it its like they forget theres anything else to me

maize: some random person came up to me when i was still living in ny, grabbed my arm and told me my moms name and the exact date of her death. it freaked me out then bc i was like 9 but it freaks me out now bc they were right

quilt: i take my tea luke warm (i dont like burning my mouth thanks) and i leave the tea bag in the entire time im drinking/waiting for it to cool so its so strong it kinda hurts by the time im done

pumpkin: neither. i think people are born as blank slates, and our experiences mold us. i also think we can adjust what kinda person weve become if we truly feel like theres a flaw at any point

moonlit: i cannot see the floor. carpet? i didnt know we had her

flannel: nope but ive dated shitty people if that counts

cocoa: probably what i already have. idk i sorta like what my hairs doing right now

ghost: my mom. the lady in the apartment next to ours when i was 7 that would give us lasagna

pumpkin spice: earl grey/black/peppermint tea or an iced vanilla latte

wool socks: crunchy colorful leaves, halloween decorations, wind

falling leaves: a boat, a fishing rod, a wood chipper

smelly candles: the original chapstick flavor

big sweaters: i like warmth but im always cold

halloween: the mayor from nightmare before christmas

cozy blankets: under my 3 blankets in my room

hot tea: the end of summer(august? july? i cant remember which)

flannel: april 4th, i have ocd and the number i get super obsessed with is 4(snap 4 times before walking through doors, etc)

chilly air: windy and overcast is great, sunny and stuffy is awful

scarves: prolly my musemem hoody and either my wonder woman pj pants or my ripped jeans

apple cider: just alex. i dont much like people so even if i admire them i wouldnt want to meet them in person(never meet your heroes)

haunted houses: i was held under water until i passed out when i was 5 and now i cant even go near any body of water(pools, lakes, oceans)

fuzzy boots: roaring 20s explained earlier

thanksgiving: alexxxxx. i love them. so much. but thanksgiving is a bullshit holiday

black friday: nothing that i can think of.

apple picking: either greece or rome. the architecture is incredible, the history is fuckin bonkers, and the mythology is incredible

corn mazes: nothing i do is ever really secret? i can play cello pretty okay, and im alright at writing?

hay rides: horse drawn carriages

the color orange: ribs by lorde. idk why but i love that song and i always think of fall whenever i hear it

windy nights: hozier. without a doubt

holding hands: soulmates are inherently amatonormative concept anf as someone on the aro spectrum(not fully aro tho) that doesnt sit well with me. so, no

[notimetoblog]

Hiii! Idk if you still accept requests but if you do can plz do a short Drabble with Bucky x reader teasing her with pet names because he knows how much she likes that even tho she denies it?hehehe!bucky being playful and a tease is my weaknesss and the ofcourse pet namesss I love that! I got that idea from our recent convo in your last fic post!😉😉😉thank you for your time!be safe and happy I love you🌹(idk if I used the right phrase tho..I’m sorry for any mistakes)

Hi!!! I absolutely loved our recent convo too so I hope you enjoy this little drabble I wrote for you :)

“Darling?” he drawled, knowing very well just how much she loved when he called her that. She remained steadfast, however, eyes trained on her book no matter how much he tried to get those lovely eyes to look at him. 

“In a minute, Buck,” she responded, voice and gaze distracted.

“Sweetheart?” he tried a new pet name, inching closer to her on the couch, his legs now brushing against hers. 

“I’m almost done,” came another distracted reply. 

To anyone else, the slight change in her voice might have gone unnoticed. Had he not been entirely in love with her voice, her eyes, her lips, her everything, he might’ve simply ignored the way her voice had come out a little higher.  Would have looked past the way she now let her eyes roam past the pages of her book and take slight and brief peeks at him. 

“Doll?” he let the pet name slip past his slips softly, slowly, making sure it dripped as sweet as honey. He felt himself smile as he took in the way her breath changed. It grew deeper, as if she was trying to keep calm at his proximity and the way he just knew she felt when he let those pet names past his lips. 

His smile grew as he heard her reply; a breathless, barely above a whisper reply. 

“You’re cheating.”

“Am, I?” he asked, his fingers now brushing her hair back, purposely letting them brush against her neck. “How so?”

“You know darn well what you’re doing,” she smiled, still refusing to look at him. He noted, however, that despite her gaze still being trained on her book, they didnt gloss across the page. She wasn’t reading anymore, and despite the fact that she had refused to look up, he just knew he had her attention. And although her accusation had been accurate, he thought it would be more fun to deny it. 

“I dont know a thing, kitten. Can barely remember my own name when I’m around you.”

“You’re a liar, Barnes,” she laughed, finally closing her book.

“Barnes!” he feigned surprise. “That’s right, that’s my name. Seemed to have lost it for a second there. Thanks for the reminder, darling.”

“Those darn pet names,” she smiled, turning to fully face him. His hand immediately sought hers as soon as she placed her book down on the couch. “You cant use them against me like that.”

“I dont know what you’re talking about,” he smirked. “But I’m happy I caught your attention, sweetheart,” he added that last word with a wink as he stood up and brought her up with him. “I cooked you some dinner. I hope you like it.”

“I know, I’ll love it,” she said, pausing before pulling him to her and pressing her lips to his in a deep kiss. “Because I love you, handsome.”

And the way her smile twisted up in an oh-so-playful manner at calling him handsome, let him know he was in for a truly eventful dinner that would surely have him blushing at her own list of pet names for him. 

[ursoself-satisfying]

do you think eugene is maybe scared of long boat trips? i was thinking about it the other day, maybe he plans on going on holiday with his s/o and the only way to go abroad would be on a boat right? but maybe he would get a little (a lot? im not an expert on this) ptsd while being on the boat and his s/o supporting him but not fully understanding because lets be honest, no-one apart from the soldiers fully understand this sort of stuff, and maybe there's another veteran on-board who helps him?

Before we get into it I wanna say I totally agree n that unless u actually have experienced that ur rly not gonna understand what the person is going thru n this applies to all kinds of trauma but just bc u dont understand doesnt mean u cant do ur best to or that u cant still love support n help them handle it n it doesnt mean they're not gr8tful for ur involvement even if u dont understand,, writing for post war eugene is always tricky cus I dont wanna assume ik how any of this goes or the extent of what it entails i havent done this I've barely done any research its heartbreaking tho n unfair n I just wanted to say all that before u get into this cus it's a combo of both asks but also more of a touchy subject than I feel like I've addressed here so that's just a heads up but enjoy!!

Omg eugene my bby

I def think hes still afraid of boats big time,, so when the two of u decide to go abroad for ur honeymoon it's a big decision for u two to make one w lots of beforehand discussions n considering all ur other options but in the end the push of ur families n the pull of the convenience of a boat eases u both into the decision, even tho nothing about it u kno is going to be easy,, Eugene is p nervous cus I mean the nightmares have lessened n u both have been learning how to handle his flashbacks n the like but u had never tried anything like this yet so on one hand it could be a good time to test the waters but on the other hand neither of u have any idea how itll actually go

Even just in the car on the way there he starts to get shakey n then on the dock it gets a bit worse but ur hands r on him somehow the whole time either locked in his or on his leg or arm or stuck in his pocket n that comforts him, ur touch anchors him n keeps him from drifting to worse thoughts it keeps him thinking about u instead,, its till hard tho just thinking about it being back on that boat forcing himself to remember hes going to France n it's not occupied n hes not alone n hes going to get to see the sights w his wonderful wife n thoroughly enjoy those bright French mornings n that it's going to be quiet, no more bombs or raids or alarms just u n him under thin sheets hot n sticky n just together n safe

But first,, the boat

On the boat? It was rough,, every bit of turbulence n every odd sway made him anxious n as much as u tried to entice him to enjoy more of the boats activities like a cabaret show or even just playing some chess out on the deck n tho u could get him out a few times n he did enjoy himself,, he spent most of his time in the cabin trying to ignore the fact he was on a boat at all,, the rest of his time not being coaxed out by u he spent napping in a deck chair w u often lounging beside him n watching over his sleep carefully, also making sure he didnt burn n lathering her exposed skin in sunblock as much as u could as he slept

U two kept busy in the cabin tho I mean it was ur honeymoon after all ;;;))) so he ravaged u as often as he could bc not only were u a comfort but also a distraction,, u did other things as well tho like laying n listening to ur favourite radio shows or playing guitar to him or sketching him or dancing together or once even doing a silly little fashion show where he def tripped after putting on ur heels

He did have a few attacks tho but u had prepared as best u could n even if some of ur cabin took a beating in an outburst u had always managed to talk him down n he spent a lot of time in ur arms

His breakdowns btw would come suddenly when something would trigger him like a sudden movement or a splash against ur window n then he would get angry n scared n become protective of u until his aggression bubbled over into hot tears drowned out by ur soft words of confirmation trying to tell him u were on a modest cruise liner n u were going to Europe n that the guns n the bombs n the tropical climate were all far away n u would pull him into a cold shower w u n he would often (fuck u hard first then) just cling to u n cry until he could calm down n fall asleep n if he stirred in his sleep u would repeat the process until he could sleep soundly

He was gr8tful to finally be off the boat n back on land tho n once in Paris the two of u could rly enjoy ur honeymoon beginning w breaking in ur hotel bed ;;;)))

But then the two of u got to see the Eiffel Tower n the Seine n the Louvre n Notre dame n it was all so amazing!!!! U spent half the time w ur head in ur sketchbook n he spent all his time taking photos of u w ur head in ur sketchbook lol

The photos were brilliant n sweet n excessive n there were def a few of u bare n freshly fucked (pardon my french) w the Parisian skyline out the window behind u, the morning like shining thru ur messy hair like a halo,, but there were also many of him from the perspective of u kneeling over him n many more of both of u playfully holding up the tower or picnicking in front of a cathedral w u plucking at ur guitar or him w a bottle of wine at his lips

It was all v picturesque n romantic n perfect n u thought he deserved nothing less n he thought the same for u ::""))

U spent about 4 weeks there together n he had throughly used his time to fuck u in every way possible n use every toy u brought with but then it was suddenly time to go home n u were concerned about eugene being back on the boat but he seemed less nervous when u got on n he admitted to feeling a lot better after the first trip n this time he actually went out w u n u played board games w other passengers n danced in the halls n sang w the cabaret n he still sunbathed n napped n made love to u n wrecked ur cabin n u still listened to all ur radio shows n drew n sang but ur lives felt more full somehow after this experience

Oh n u def showed off everything u had bought is Paris n as much as he loved that silk dress on u he loved peeling it off u even more ;;;)))

He rly did feel better when u were finally home to ur little cottage for the first time together as a globetrotting married couple ::"")) he felt better that he hadnt handled it nearly as bad as hed expected n urs n his trip abroad left u feeling loved n cultured n more experienced in life plus u both had taken a huge chance n now u were better for it n felt more capable n confident that he was getting better n it was an affirmation that u would take care of him n that u would always be there for him, just as u had said in ur vows ::""))

He was happy to consummate ur new marriage in ur own bed for the first time tho lol n on top of that gr8 feeling it was just gr8 that he felt less held back w u there w him especially after the boat experience

So yeah a quick note I rly do think he would be terrified of ever stepping foot on a boat again n would refuse it n be vvv adamant about not doing it again for a vvv long time but I think he could be worn down n would EVENTUALLY be ok w it but maybe not this fast n tho I dont feel like I go into much detail here he def has a hard time on the boat as well like hes just agitated the whole time n probably was prescribed some medication for it if just some motion or sea sickness meds n maybe anxiety but i would say it prolly makes him drowsy so hes kinda out of it which keeps him calm but doesnt stop certain flashbacks n maybe he lashes out n hurts someone once in a while cus it's incredibly traumatic returning to that environment but anyway yeah he would be v fidgety n not like it but in this scenario hes willing to take a chance given how well hes been recovering n how much he trusts u n how much u have helped him n the option had pull so that's why but rly I dont think irl he would have gone back on a boat anywhere near that soon but this is romantic fiction so ::))

Also I have a v specific image of who eugene is w if u cant tell lol so I'm sorry for that specificity but I'm so whipped for him n his gal I lov sm I hope u enjoy n guys I'm so motivated to finally write out the storyline I have for him I'm gonna finally get out his fic ok I promise

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

[queeranarchist]

uhhh every 5th q for the ask meme?

:O

5) What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

uhhh first time i remember was when I cut my hair off - for an SPN Lucifer cosplay of all things - and was like hell yeah I look like a dude! Radical! and then was like oh that is not a very CisThought™️

10) What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

you know i bought a pretty expensive packer and it was waaay too large despite being one of the smaller ones of that model - this was apparently a problem a lot of guys had and their were videos on how to cut it to make it fit but it cost a lot and i was too worried about ruining it - anyway i moved house three and a half times in six months and my stuff is currently in between two houses and I have No Idea where it is and in the back of my mind there is the constant fear that someone will find that dick 

15) What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

i’ve used pretty much every label sexuality wise bc attraction is weird. gender wise i ided as a trans man until last yearish and now im just like im queer in all senses

20) What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

prooobably a lot of gender abolitionist stuff like meets past self and just holds a reading group of Nobody Passes by Matt Sycamore - like i hate the transmed/truscum view point but i see that a lot of it is pushed by 15 year old trans guys and the whole wanting to be cis/as close to cis as possible and you can have pride in being LGB but not in being trans thing is pretty much how i experienced gender until last year where i was like time to make the Conscious effort to rework my thoughts, i didnt end up in the dysphoria discourse largely bc it wasnt a big thing when i first realised i was trans (lmao no trans issues were big things at that point) - in general i’d want to get myself to work on a more intersectional approach in terms of understanding that the gender binary is a western colonialist construct and that capitalism pushes queerphobia by wanting to minamalise community reliance and further their profit by pushing a nuclear child producing way of structuring relationships - basically get little me to turn all that angst and anger @ the system

25) What do you wish cis people understood?

that they arent the end goal, i detest the view they have that trans people should be glad to be told that they look like a “”””real”””” women/man - also that they dont need to understand, i dont give a flying fuck if they dont get how someone can identify differently to their assigned gender/be nonbinary/have a gender that changes, just use the right pronouns and name and be ya’know a decent person - and! that they dont need to know what “makes” someone trans and that that line of thinking veers dangerously towards eugenics

30) Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

ahhh good question - i realised i was trans in a pre Caitlyn Jenner pre Orange is the New Black era so a lot of it was just me figuring out shit on my own - which gotta say wasnt necessarily a bad thing bc more visibility has also lead to more bulshit

I would probably say Matt Sycamore - the first book i read that was edited by her was Why are Faggots so Afraid of Faggots and like the queer radicalism and like anarchy from that helped me figure out and voice some of my disquiet with queer assimilation stuff and also the big We Won the marriage campaign queer stuff is Done mood that was 2017 after Australia’s same sex marriage plebiscite. her book Nobody Passes which focuses purely on gender stuff also follows a similar vein and its very very good

35) How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

outside of queer stuff i fit into a pretty privileged life, defs gonna say class played a major noticeable role in being able to get hormones despite having to go through a whole court process (pretty sure the government being the Worst to baby me is what made me an anarchist) and get top surgery pretty quickly once out of high school, my whiteness also provides a certain protection when you see the much higher rates of violence at trans POC, and I'm also able to access queer events and spaces without having to consider accessibility etc

40) How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

mmmm honestly at the time it was the worst and looking back on it i am still very angry and bitter at both my school and, you know, the government in general

i did the whole im trans use the right name and pronouns @ the school people (with my parents there so they couldnt use that as an excuse) about nine months before they started doing so AND this was also after my parents flat out ignoring that I was trans for months before that and i did not uuhhh deal well with any of that mentally At All. my school was pretty much like yll be bullied we cant as if every kid i interacted with didnt already know - and when they eventually did it wasnt a big deal with kids - i only heard second hand about some shit that was said about me which gotta admit was kinda laughable bc i had people i barely knew tell me what people in my grade had said and i was like….dont know who that is but Okay - i was too out of the gossip loop to have anything to be upset about 😂 also i had two (2) teachers in the entire school that used the correct pronouns despite me fully out for near three years by the time i left school tho i didnt actually recognise how bad that was for me until i left high school and was like ???? dont want to die all the time ?? what is this

medically was also bulshit bc the australian system used to have anyone under 18 have to go through court to get HRT, it took me nearly three years and was incredibly fucked and even tho the laws been changed now i am still ready to throw down with whoever implemented it in the first place even tho their probably old and close to death themselves

ANYWAY in terms of providing a better answer than i didnt and was v sad and angry for a v long time - i surrounded myself with queer people, i ventured into the city for some youth queer groups, went to a camp purely for young queer people, read a lot of books about trans people etc 

Ask me questions ~

http://queeranarchist.tumblr.com/post/183686207345/datgenderqueerboi-trans-ask-game-what-has

[kyanmaaaa]

i told my bro abt this dream and hes just like why are your dreams so dark (so like, tw for this one)

but honestly i didnt really consider this dark it was oddly beautiful if scary. im going to fill in parts with what i think could have happened there but im also not going to include the details for what the room looked like in every scene besides whats neccassary, cause this was so vivid i could try to describe to you what each PERSON looked like and people usually dont even have faces in my dreams!

its still long so heres a read more

beginning of the dream im walking home at dusk and im coming from a direction i almost nvr walk, except for when its halloween. so it may have been halloween in my dream, the sunset is a beautiful BRIGHT orange and its on the side of my house rather than behind like it usually is but thats a minor detail.

cause around the house behind mine theres a very strange cloud formation, much lower than i usually see clouds and its not foggy but its just, theres clouds wrapped around the house except for the front and the wall just goes up and up and up to the top and slightly past the house. paired with the sunset i think thats really beautiful so i take some pics with my phone and go closer just to see how close i can get before the clouds disappear and then i’ll go home

i didnt get to go home, the clouds wrapped fully around the house and a strong, something, stopped me from leaving. also there was like an evil to/riel so she mighta been the one doing that

next part of the dream kinda jumps around so ill have to infer some parts but essentially the house changes from the building ive seen there for you know, my entire life, to a small dark wooden mansion. also muffet is there and guess what she ALSO sucks. and then theres this bitch blond haired human pony tail man and hes dumb and i dont like him. im not allowed to leave and im kinda enslaved i guess (my bro called me a prisoner with a job when i told him and it was stupid funny). muffets off on a job after i get settled in there and i dont know what happens to make me so submissive considering the next part of the dream focuses on another servant but whatever they did was REALLY REALLY BAD cause at every point after this im terrified of fucking up and ive pretty much given up on getting out.

this next part was more of a flashback sequance that happened later but for ease of reading im going to add it here instead. first other servant i meet is a beautiful large green shiny beetle man, seriously hes gorgeous and so well spoken and kind. when he was brought into the house he was introduced as just a regular human man, still as beautiful as ever tho, was hired to play piano for a party. as hes fiddling away with the keys though if you looked around you could see bright shiny green and gold strings just, laying flat against the wall, piano, his suit, etc. turns out those were his beetle wings but stretched out and distorted and at this point hes discovered cause to the untrained eye those look like decorations, but its how his kind disguises themselves. cause he can change his entire appearance except for his wings, so they have to try and hide their wings in the environment around them.

they didnt like him lying but it was calm at first. muffet invites him to a small welcoming dinner, just for a chat. they share a platter of food on one plate, partly meat, but most of whats facing him is just a lot of rice packed into a line. he slowly pecks away at that as he carries a polite conversation with muffet, but nvr touches the other side of the food. after hes abt halfway through it she asks “Why aren’t you trying the other food deary?” and he responds “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to Miss.” and has a bite.

after whatevers in that food kicks in he keels over in pain and she makes it very clear how things go in this house. he listens, he does not act without being told to, and if he ever tries to pull a stunt like that again he’ll be dead. “Am I clear deary?”

since he was there before i was some times passed since that happened. hes currently being punished by mr asshole blond ponytail man and his punishment is all of his meals are very plain. just rice and unseasoned meat. the chef clearly put effort into each platter tho as theyve been shaped into increasingly elaborate shapes the longer the punishment lasts. im not quite sure why this is a punishment? maybe beetle man isnt getting all the nutrients he needs and thats harder for his kind, perhaps he has a taste for good food and this is just the most the ponytail dude can get away with as a punishment since muffets in charge of the house, or maybe its meant to bring up bad memories of when he first came here.

this next parts, really foggy

back to me and muffets talking to someone through a large portal in the room? plans are made abt making humans lose hope and wiping out humanity. the vegan next to me is very excited abt this and comments on it and im just like, bro, that would be super bad for the earth and also immoral? and shes like oh right. at some point i befriend a guy even tho we hated each other at first but he’s moved elsewhere after some time

time skip to muffet informing me that due to my most recent mistake my family is going to be killed. at this point im just sick of it i’ve been here for months im miserable im lonely, i miss my family im just kinda, unstable

really unstable

im shouting at her if shes going to off my family she has to kill me too cause i cant live knowing theyre dead because of me or live without them, just sobbing, kill me, please just kill me i cant stay here anymore she sends me to my room and i pass by my beetle friend but neither of us says anything, also passed by some buff monster but its irrelevant. i dont go to my room instead im just looking through hallway after hallway, opening a storage closet and just trying to find SOMETHING to work with because yeah im miserable, yeah this is probably going to backfire but you do NOT. FUCK. WITH MY FAMILY! so i have to leave. i dont care if this might kill me i have to get out of there with whatever the hell i can find. what i find is two deflated balloons with little plastic bits inside that when u press a button they light up and im like OKAY maybe i, maybe me and beetle man can use this to signal to each other! thats great i can do this i can. i think i may have been crying and laughing here after my exploring Im hiding behind a sofa in a room in the furthest corner of the house cradling my little weird balloon bundle, just trying to find space to think. im safe because u cant see me from the door and the blinds on the window are drawn already. it feels like i havent seen the outside in a while remember how i said i was really unstable? this felt completely real in the dream so maybe it was real due to dream logic, but it feels like desperation in hindsight. i clicked both of the balloon lights on and realized i could use it as a phone! i need to call mom i miss her so much. so i do and she goes honey where are you? and im just crying and saying i love you, i love you so much im okay mom, its okay, and shes like are you at school??? and i just turn into a mess. at this point i look through the sheer curtains on the window and notice my brother driving a really tall truck moving some construction supplies. it sucks that hes here too but im just so happy to see him even if i know i cant talk to him. maybe if they dont find out we’re related he’ll be okay and then i leave the mansion, and i run. nothing here is familiar. im somewhere in the woods. i try to run to the front and see all of the construction workers there making something, but besides all the people somehow the dirt is just, this sheer cliff up up and up in front of the place. so i run to the back and try to get through the barrier around the place. i think i do but its not exactly easy. i fought off a possessed wild boar, but it was the size you think a pig would be, so like a medium sized dog, it just tried to bite me and while it hurt i just hit it til it stayed down long enough for me to bolt after im some distance away, further into the forest on a wide path i meet a human whos instantly on guard to fight me. i spray paint in his eyes and then run on i meet a strange human on the same path and he smirks at me and puts paper in front of his eyes to stop my tactic. i go hey fuck it maybe the fumes will disorient him and spray and his magic stops the paint in mid air and im like dude that is SICK, before he flings it back at me

i dont know how but i beat him too but the next part of the dream im finally somewhere residential, houses along the water, its a warm but not too warm day, light breeze, so all in and beautiful. i feel like im seeing and breathing freely and clearly for the first time in, i dont even know how long. its bright and while i know i have to run im just going to keep running, im free for now.

i use my little balloon contraption and call up my mom again now that im somewhere im positive no one will hear me. i tell her im sorry but i cant go home, that this is likely goodbye, and i cant guarantee ill get out of this alive but it’s okay. i love you so much. and she has to leave too. i stress this. she has to leave, cut all ties, cut all things that could trace you and get out of there. 

and then my alarm woke me up

its hard to explain why some sections of this dream were so scary, just the feeling of wrongness, isolation, powerlessness, and just some distant pain that i dont know what it was. it felt like the longer i was there the more my world was ending