#i cant move my hand at all
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Part 2 of my modern avatar au, The Gaang (part 1)
#avatar aang#atla katara#atla toph#atla sokka#atla suki#atla#avatar the last airbender#modern avatar#atla modern au#my art#atla fanart#kataang#CAUSE THEY ARE IMPORTANT IN THIS AU#lots of inner debates on how to deal with aang's tattoos and if to make him say an actual buddhist#decided that he and monk gyatso (plus a handful of others) are/were part of a largely dying religion of a nomadic group#from the himalayan/tibetan plateau region that's a mix of buddhism hinduism and other religions (plus air nomad culture)#due to the politics of region aang and gyatso traveled around the world which is how he met katara and sokka#who were on a fieldtrip in the south (of canada)#they live in the Qikiqtaaluk Region originally in a smaller northern town but to continue their schooling they moved to iqaluit#Toph is from China and she met the gaang during the first big trip sokka katara and aang took together (at aangs begging)#meet her the summer before katara's first semester of college (so she was 18 aang 16 sokka 19 toph 16)#also by 16 aang is his own guardian cause of gyatso's death so he just does whatever p much#suki from okinawa and they meet briefly another summer of college when traveling to a bunch of islands in the pacific#suki specializes in and teaches ryukyuan martial arts (she's ryukyuan)#all reunite after sokka and katara's graduation (katara graduates a year early) during aang sokka and kataras celebration world tour#where they come into full actual contact with the fire nation crew#they are all in their twenties in these expect for monk aang who is a teen#hehe i cant wait to make more for this auuuu
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fuck fuck fuck
#ow ow ow ow fuck#my computer was acting up so i tried to fix it#and i needed to unscrew a bit but the screw was in there so tight it was impossible to turn#and i tried anyway with my bad hand#and now it wont stop hurting#like bad enough that im struggling to breathe#i have it on ice and have pain relief cream but neither are doing anything#i cant move my hand at all#it hurts too much#but i cant fucking go to the doctor bc they'll send me to a specialist doctor#and specialists always take at least 3 months to see#like i told my doctor 'hey i think i have a hiatal hernia' which is. a pretty big problem for me!#and he was like 'ok we will send you to gastro' and the next available appointment was in fucking MAY#like it's not like this is gonna fucking kill me but this has gotta be more serious than a THREE MONTH WAIT
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ik i've done like 5 panel redraws from 265 alone but this is the last one promise
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 265#timelapse#jjk but its me and im the one possessed and i cant stop doing yuuji panel redraws :'>#fr tho im done i swear i think ive drawn all my favourite yuujis from the leaks i can stop now#....the one of him crouching while fishing Is good too tho...#IM JOKING I WON'T (today)#my pinky actually hurts rn i will rest#the thing w timelapses is theres never much 2 say abt the process bc like. its all right there#th red flash was me accidentally hitting the paint fill button gomen :'< i always do either that or i accidentally crop it#they should move those buttons further away from each other >:((((#hmm other than that total time abt 4 hours his hair fought me a bit during the render but gojo voice Nah Id Win >:)#symmetry ruler my beloved <333 until i get 2 his scars n have to turn it off rip#anyway im going 2 go rest my hand do some stretches etc etc#self care i hear they call it
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I do love the duke Wyll trophy wife Astarion dynamic a lot but every time I play in that space I always wind up with this
#wyllstarion#wyll ravengard#astarion#bloodpact#bloodblade#bg3#baulders gate 3#astarion acunin#like i love this concept to much but they would go mac and dennis move to the suburbs about it#astarion also very much wants to stab cazadors friends but is holding back for wylls sake#as a politician wyll cant even be a little bitch to them either. hed loose it.#at some point wyll is only there due to stubbornness and a sense of duty and also to try and fix his relationship with ulder#and astarion has gone from “so all i have to do all day is look hot and love my husband and i get waited on hand and foot? this is perfect”#to “wait maybe my only worth here being that im fucking someone is not healthy for me huh”
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:c
#i fell off a ladder in work n hurt my wrist which was like fine whatever idc#but i got needy n wnted to use a toy n it hurts too much to move my hand tht i cant do it i might scream#is this my sign to give in n buy a fk machine#like i cant do it properly without bein in pain n all my toys fr kinda hands free stuff r dead#now needy n achy n sad the worst combo
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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Kudo makes funny facial expressions
#i bet this guy was actually a hoot to be around#with his low voice short stature bricks on his forearms#he seems like a guy with a lot of sass#and being stubborn or deadpan#he smiles like a damn quagsire its amazing#i use him in fic stuff to help push stuff along cuz if its left to bruce things will never progress. hes too roundabout and careful#hes all serious and driven but i bet hes the kind to chew faster when hes in trouble#bruce: leader have you seen the peanuts i was gonna have for lunch?#kudo: *chews faster*#his quirk - Gearshift - literally has the user move their hand as if switching gears in a manual car to change the gears of the quirk#kudo has to have something with manual cars methinks. maybe he had one or something. or hes just a bit old in tastes#how else would kudo realize he was Meta if Gearshift required the user to make said movements? or does that part only come AFTER it evolved#i was put in a manual car for the first time and. like a nerd. realized this is the same as kudo#and i got it to work. THANKS KUDOOOO *sing song*#also that post i made about kudo being kind#kudo cant lie or hide stuff for shit. hes so obvious and knows what hes doing with en#NOT EVERYTHING IS GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU STEP WRONG KUDO. he was being so serious the whole time with#“youre gonna die” “the world will end in 5 minutes” “its only just starting now”#this list could be longer if KUDO HAD MORE SCREENTIME-#the gearshift hand thing with midoriya mightve just been midoriyas mental imagery tho#kudo#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#spoilers#how could i forget these tags
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ok yknow what else. I am so glad they're acknowledging the 180. I haven't really voiced this cuz I was otherwise so excited for this season but I really was on the verge of indignation about them just deciding to make gabriel a goofy sidekick after he was literally the biggest villain of season 1. it really felt like they weren't willing to acknowledge just how much pain he's actually caused aziraphale and crowley and, to be honest, it seemed a little out of the blue that aziraphale would try to help him. but no. they're actually talking about it. it's a central point of conflict for them that crowley rightfully wants nothing to do with this because it's GABRIEL, he tried to kill aziraphale, he's still understandably terrified that heaven will try to hurt him again, and now he wants this guy nowhere near either of them, and cannot understand why aziraphale would have him in his bookship after what he's done. and as for why aziraphale wants to help him, that seems like it's actually going to be explored rather than just accepted for the sake of the plot moving forward. not only have they not forgotten just what gabriel did or tried to do last season, they're placing that lasting fear and apprehension towards him front and centre and are going to have aziraphale and crowley conflict over whether or not he deserves their help. I'm honestly so relieved because I had always been staunchly anti-gabriel and never really enjoyed the fandom's overly jovial attitude towards him, and was genuinely really skeptical when it seemed they were going to make him a sympathetic character in the new season, especially since the trailer played the comedic angle for all it was worth. but it's not just absurdity for absurdity's sake. it's actually something for our main couple to work through. the writing knows this is a difficult shift in dynamic to contend with. and they're directly employing it as an obstacle for aziraphale and crowley. it's really good and it's put a lot of my worries about the overall tone and messaging of this season to rest
#not even getting into how this is literally the same conflict from season 1 but with a slightly different power dynamic#like aziraphale and crowley have the power to say no now. they can move on with their lives and not feel obligated to involve themselves#in heaven and hells business. and no doubt crowley wants to stay as far out of it as possible#hes content to just be a human now basically. and hes frustrated that at the first opportunity aziraphale is diving back into it#and once again crowley is forced to close ranks and focus on only protecting aziraphale. only now its more frustrating because#aziraphale can say no! crowley tried to get them out of there before but of course aziraphale couldnt. and crowley understood that#to some extent anyways#and now theyre finally free to do as they wish like he wanted and aziraphale still cant fully break away#he just wants them both to be safe but aziraphale makes that very difficult. he loves him of course but its so frustrating for crowley#like WHY cant he just enjoy their freedom. why cant he seize it with both hands. thats all hes every wanted for them#its the same conflict as in 1x04 but worse now. because aziraphale can say no and he can choose crowley over heaven. so why isnt he#ohhhhh the interpersonal conflict. its so juicy. its gonna be so good i can just feel it in my bones in my SOUL#good omens#good omens spoilers#ineffable husbands#meta tag
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An excerpt from training for directed retrieves during my coffee break!
Directed retrieves are a really fun gundog exercise where a dog fetches multiple birds or bumpers in a sequence that you (the handler) ask. They can be marked retrieves (where the dog sees where the bumper fell) or blind retrieves (where the dog doesn't see the fall and you have to guide them with your voice and hands). I'm teaching this mostly as an enrichment activity, but it's an important piece for irl hunting retrievers to ensure birds aren't wasted in the field. I started teaching this exercise by throwing kibble in two different directions while she stood in a heel and then releasing her to them one at a time. This was our first try with directed retrieving of bumpers!
In this video I'm asking Rory to get into heel position (and rewarding that heavily because heel position = best place to be), asking her to stand steady while I throw two bumpers, and then directing her to pick up the first bumper I threw.
The duck bumper (the second one) is her preferred bumper so I chose to throw the paint roller to my left - when I put my hand out to line her up, it sort of blocks her view of the duck bumper so she's more likely to go to the one I want even though she likes the other one better.
Because this was the first time we practiced this exercise with bumpers, I wasn't looking for a perfect retrieve to hand - when I sent her to the duck bumper (not in the video), she dropped it at my feet instead of waiting for me to take it. That's no big deal, we can work towards a tighter retrieve after she gets more confident with the game.
We're going to keep practicing indoors for a while and once she's looking confident (and assuming things don't get too icy) we'll start working outside so we can build distance and speed.
I will also keep practicing lining her up (using my hand to guide her line) so we can start working on send-outs for blind retrieves and commitment to running out in a straight line! I have some ideas on how to use very small pieces of food to start this indoors and then we can move it outdoors in the spring.
She's doing awesome though! I'm really happy with her steadiness and her ability to think through puzzles. It's gonna be a fun winter working on these skills!
#dogblr#rory borealis#my face#bird dog training#steadiness training#retrieve training#at the very beginning of the video you can see her 'opt in' (tell me she's ready to start) by looking at the bumpers on the counter#it's a subtle communication from rory but important because it would have been more frustrating if i started when she wasnt ready#i had just woken her up from a nap because i wanted to work on this while i was waiting for my coffee to brew#i like how she is really understanding steadiness (dont move your feet)#and i was super happy with how well she committed (didnt glance away) once i lined her up#i shouldnt have rewarded her looking up at me before i lined her up because i dont want that#but i thought i was rewarding her standing still#ill time that better on the next rep#one minor issue im having is i always tap her head to release her from heel#and i cant do that if im using my left hand to line her up#im not sure if the correct direction is to fade my line or fade my tap#i think once i figure out which one to do itll build her confidence on the release#i think i want to keep the tap so i might practice lining her up and then moving my hand while she keeps commitment to the line#another piece to work on!#it's cool to see it broken down in tiny pieces tbh#this is an unrelated but adjacent rant:#yesterday on dogbook i saw a post that was asking for recs for high value treats because their dog lost interest#if they couldnt figure out the activity in 30 seconds#and it irks me because if your dog cant figure out what youre asking in 30 seconds#i think your activity is too hard and needs to be broken into smaller pieces#ESPECIALLY with an indepent thinker#sure some dogs will power through uncertainty and frustration but why are you asking them to#look inward and see how you can break it into smaller pieces#(it irks me because it is the exact problem and response i had with mav - live and learn and look back and all that)
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so agatha didnt let alice do that curse protection spell on her, right? she was just like keep playing. do you think thats bc she was like 'i dont know what Deaths Knife is gonna do specifically but i doubt im ever gonna be rid of her if i get fucking enchanted with it'
#im still laughing about the way rio looks when alice borrows her knife#like Sure okay yeah use my interdimensional soul reaping knife or whatever that probably wont have any unforeseen consequences#wait that knife is for travelling right?#thats how she moves around between dimensions or the underworld or wherever she goes to this physical plane?#but it also just cuts#do you think it's the only weapon she can like physically use?#bc when she fights agatha it's like wind roots glass from the window#i wonder if death - bc shes not allowed to kill - can not Hold weapons#she can maim and torture evidently but#idk maybe it's a reach. if youve got Knife. Hands. Magic. and Indirectly then youve basically got all the options anyone gets right#so maybe she cant shoot someone or axe murder someone but really how much of a limitation is that#maybe you run into a doctor-like question of weapon use and memetic hygiene again. or a questoin adjacent#but it depends on the Rules. what kind thye are where they come from and the motivation for circumventing them#i dont think rio's balancing rules are laid out by some authority#they are descriptive rules at the core and mostly in practice i think#turn prescriptive a little with rio's faith. she clearly believes in something. something that Must Be or is good to be#and at that point you become prescriptive#i wonder if the knife was always a knife#i wonder where or how she got it#i wonder if the act of death itself is the knife#separating the Who Still Are from the Who Arent Anymore#rio as the embodiment of death. the knife as the embodiment of loss
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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i dont know about you but ekky accidentally touching sashas hand in trying to get a hand on the cup rattles around in my head like a bunch of marbles like oooo accidentally tender hand touching my beloved...
yeah it does kill me that despite ekky swatting sasha hand away to give him room to get a paw on the silver hes still skin-to-skin with sasha what with his hand pressed against his like...
to make matters detrimental heres them hugging after the cup group picture....
man who loves cradling his precious teammates head to press them closer to him...
i like to call this one: omega guiding their team alphas hand to the place they really want it because the alpha happens to be a sweetie and terribly well-mannered and maybe a little obtuse but the alpha once feeling their fingers skim the heavy fabric of the scarf wrapped tightly around their neck as a protective layer immediately shifts their hand away from it frustrating all involved
(its really ekky moving sashas hand away from his head because he shifted his hat up in the process and he wanted to adjust it but sashas holding onto him so tightly he has to physically move his hand away to tell him "hey my hats falling off move it" but i choose to be romantic about these things)
but anyways awful lots of hand touching eh lads?
edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 7 postgame | 6.24.24 (x)(x)
#aaron ekblad#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#my toxic trait is thinking every single cat is deeply in love with each other#but like especially these two#(smokes pixy stix like a cig) i could write essays about them#but it is the tenderness in which they treat each other#i just think the coincidence of sasha moving his hand up right as ekky moves his to touch the cup is beautiful#sasha coming up from cup pictures and seeing ekky in front of him and cant help but drag him into a hug#the emotionality of it all#tender hand touching
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i think what's really been getting to me the past few months is the realisation that i dont relate to literally any of the mental health stuff i see anywhere. like whenever there's some affirmation or motivation or just relatable-sounding posts in general they all seem like such common problems and it's like, damn i literally dont experience any of that. and yet im still crumpling. something uniquely wrong with me
#like ion have social anxiety and my depression manifests entirely differently. already excludes like 90% of things on here#also like. my parents grew up so poor immediately post ww2 and in the ussr that they#were eating dead animals off the street. my father was in a revolution when he was 10 and grew up working in a mine#and ion even wanna think abt the shit my mother endured in transylvania#and they both went to uni for over a decade and made an extremely good life for themselves#and i cant even do 2 yrs of uni without folding?? i dont even have anything else going on#i literally have everything handed to me why can't i just function#maybe i never learned how to struggle for things. i dont know#barking#and i cant say oh well im more mentally ill than them. first of all where do you think i got them from. second of#all they were in a war and spent the majority of their lives in the ussr. they wont even#talk about most of the things they went through#like dont get me wrong i have such a long list of mental issues my biography would count as the next dsm#but it's not like my parents were okay at any point. so like#for the record they stopped living in the ussr because the ussr ended they didn't move out or anything. we're still in eastern europe#which is definitely contributing to my overall state. please can i fucking leave pleeeease
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has anyone actually written a lost boys harringrove au because i feel like that’s what’s missing from my life
#cant decide which way around it should be#on one hand sure santa carla it’s all very billy but something about billy moving to a new town and steve being a vampire#goes crazy idk#billy moving to hawkins and seeing all these missing posters max getting caught up with the party billy finding them at the house etc#it all works#on my mind cause i found the dvd in a charity shop yesterday AND the cinema is showing it on the 3rd#huge win for gay people (me)#ickyspeaks
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Thinking abt how Kath does clay work again, she's on the wheel and my heart says her nd hobie have like that ghost scene moment just with out the hot nd heavy shit
#kat text#i cant remember if there was a sex scene or not#i need to actually watch that movie bc of that moment#ik its a pop cultural thing but it appears in my mind so so much?#bc ik hobie would rub his clay hands all over her arms and when that dries she moves and its just a bunch of clay dust#🐈⬛️🧷#.glampunk
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dynig is kindaof yuri if u think abt it tbh
#lying in the arms of sweet sweet death as it all ends an infinite blackness surrounding me nothing but a thick tar-like sea slowly envelopin#g me. then i come to my senses. *kind of*. i still cant feel exactly. everythings not right. my lungs are still. the tune of my heart's bea#has gone from awry to nonexistant. Dead silence- literally.#i am dead. i am alone. i am in a vast empty sea of pain torment and bitter hurtful last moments. and then i look below me.#i am not drowning#i am not alive#but i am not dying#there is someone keeping me safe#even in a place like this.#a strange cloaked figure. i try to look underneath their hood but i cant quite make out anything underneath it.#i try to comprehend it. i try to think i try and i try and try again.#is this the grim reaper?#she grabs my hand. i am dead#but i am going to move on#and i am going to rest#peacefully#on this boat. and i will not be alone#i will be at peace. with death.#;.ITHINKSS!!!1X33#awawawwwuolds writens mores buts im playigns vidbeo games thigny.;ss.; rns ithinkss:3:33:333!!11X33
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