#separating the Who Still Are from the Who Arent Anymore

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

so agatha didnt let alice do that curse protection spell on her, right? she was just like keep playing. do you think thats bc she was like 'i dont know what Deaths Knife is gonna do specifically but i doubt im ever gonna be rid of her if i get fucking enchanted with it'

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙love is never logical | 2023 grid˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pt3

pairing: 2023 f1 grid x nepo baby y/n prost reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, friends to lovers

warnings: spoiled nepo baby:)) 3rd & final part!! fluffy af probably

summary: in which everyone's favourite nepo baby finally feels ready to share her love story with the world ❤️

a/n: last part tehehe this was so fun to write LOL it feels so silly & ridiculous fr but hope u like it i tried to make it not super obvious who her man is but idk if it worked

request!!!: I would love a smau with reader who’s a nepo baby but is everyone’s fave nepo because she’s just living life aesthetically and the grid loves her and she’s hinting at a soft launch (idrc with which driver)

fc: gracie burns

my masterlist

part 1 • part 2 • part 3

instagram ->

ynprostupdates

liked by user12, user38, and 219,938 others

ynprostupdates an image of daniel ricciardo holding a mystery woman in an embrace from last night has been circulating, rumours saying it was y/n prost. could daniel be the mystery man that y/n has been soft launching on her social medias the past few months?

view all 18,283 comments

user1 NO WAY

user2 i thought daniel was with heidi? 😭😭

user3 well that definitely isnt heidi 💀

user4 well duh

user5 where my y/ndaniel shippers at

user6 all rise

user7 nooo i really thought it was lando

user8 where's that one y/nlance truther from twitter at right now

user9 bit of an age gap

user10 you must be new here

user11 💀💀💀

user12 that could literally be anyone, also it's ONLY A HUG!!

user13 🤔

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by landonorris, heidiberger_, and 847,192 others

yourusername my fwends

view all 8,193 comments

user14 obsessed with y/n subtly setting the record straight about daniel 💀

liked by yourusername, heidiberger_

danielricciardo i meant what i said y/n, you are banned from drinking alcohol

landonorris i second this

yourusername since when did men think they could tell me what i can & cant do? 🤔

danielricciardo since you became a danger to urself & others perhaps

heidiberger_ im on ur side btw y/n/n

yourusername knew i could count on you

user15 this feels like such a random group of people to hang out separately

user16 i dont think so they're all friends arent they?

user17 tbh i think everyone loves y/n but she does this thing every so often where she hangs out with wags & i think it's to make sure everyone knows she's not overstepping or anything

user18 y/n is my favourite (potential) wag

yourusername posted a story

liked by alex_albon, landonorris, and 538,293 others

landonorris since when were you in ireland

yourusername since like 2 hours ago

landonorris why

yourusername never been

landonorris you know a race weekend starts tomorrow right

yourusername you know we're not f1 drivers right?

danielricciardo bring me a guinness back!

yourusername y/bff/n said she'll bring it in her mouth & feed you it like a little bird

danielricciardo dont want one anymore

user19 Y/N WHY ARE YOU IN MY COUNTRY

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, lilymhe, and 792,103 others

yourusername no one panic we're back on time

view all 6,294 comments

user21 was lance in ireland with her

user22 no just lily y/bff/n & some other girls apparently

landonorris slay‼️

oscarpiastri are you relaxed now

landonorris urm. yes

yourusername LOL

lance_stroll everyone cheered

lilymhe 😌😌😌

user23 i want y/n's life

user24 i just want y/n

alex_albon can i have my girlfriend back now?

yourusername for now yes

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, lance_stroll, and 827,183 others

lilymhe omg y/n

lilymhe this is so hard launch

yourusername 😭😭😭 DONT SAY THAT

lance_stroll 😧😧😧

user25 THERE'S NO WAY YOU GUYS ARENT DATING

user26 OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING

lewishamilton congratulations to you both😊

yourusername THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE A HARD LAUNCH

maxverstappen1 only took him almost beating me for you to hard launch

yourusername you STILL got no bitches max

yourusername sorry for being mean im overwhelmed right now

maxverstappen1 it's all love 🤔

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, maxverstappen1, and 1742,893 others

yourusername & i fell for you like water 💧

tagged: lance_stroll

view all 43,204 comments

lance_stroll i love you ❤️

liked by yourusername

lilymhe FINALLY

yourbff thank god coz i cant keep anymore secrets

danielricciardo anymore? what else do you know?

lewishamilton congratulations for real this time!

maxverstappen1 congrats on pulling

yourusername 😘

landonorris 🎉🥳🍾🎁🎈🎊

charles_leclerc i miss you y/n please get rid of this man and return to ferrari immediately

carlossainz55 i second this

scuderiaferrari we third this

yourusername for you guys i just might😌❤️

alex_albon officially graduated from third wheel status

liked by yourusername, lilymhe

lance_stroll

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 828,103 others

lance_stroll this is me flexing

tagged: yourusername

view all 34,193 comments

yourusername 🫶🫶🫶

liked by lance_stroll

pierregasly kika is celebrating rn

yourusername my girlll😊😊

fernandoalo_official congratulations to you both 🎉‼️❤️💚

user32 this is so personal to me

user33 she is so amazing

yourbff OMG PRETTIEST GIRL ALIVE

liked by lance_stroll, yourusername

THE END 🤍

[danyasblogsblog]

JUST THE USUAL JOHN PRICE

warnings : threats, age gap, jealousy

requested by @sethell !!

hey guyss posts are not going to be as daily anymore, as im currently really sick and with uni break over tomorrow, im not gonna be posting as consistently. feel free to message requests 💗💗

the sight of you laughing with another man made price sick. the way his hand reached for your shoulder to pat you on the back- and the way his eyes lingered on your body made price nauseous. he knew he had to interfere- to get his cunt away from his girl. who was he to so obviously and shamelessly flirt with his love? tossing the cigarette out of his mouth, he confidently walked over to you and the too-excited man.

‘hello, darling. who’s this?’

price’s silky smooth voice welcomed you, and you could practically feel yourself melting at the feeling of hearing his melodic voice. his strong wrapped slinked around your shoulders, and you leaned into his chest. the familiar scent of his spicy cologne that made your brain fuzzy and which made butterflies in your tummy flap wildly entered your nose. ‘this is.. what’s your name, again, sorry?’

the fact you couldnt even remember his name made price smirk. the man introduced himself, extending a hand for price to shake. he accepted it, eyeing him suspiciously. ‘nice to meet you.. sweetheart, could you go get me a drink?’

you had been through this procedure many times. men flirting with you, obsessed with your youth and body- how your hips swayed to music and your taste in drinks. these men didnt know about price through- and they would usually think he was a friend, or an uncle- hell, some had even thought he was your dad. but the correction of him being your boyfriend embarrassed the men, turning their faces red in humilation.

as you separated yourself from price, his soft gaze on you became a threatening glare on the man. ‘you leave that girl alone, mate, yea?’ ‘who are you, her boyfriend? youre an old man, dickhead.’

‘maybe i am, but i can still rip your head off in a minute. shut your fucking mouth and get your paws off her, you arent a dog.’

the mans anger practically seared off him, smoke almost coming out of his ears. you could feel his eyes on you as you rested your elbows on the bar’s table, waiting for you and price’s drinks.

when you came back, the man was gone, and price seemed awfully pleased with himself.

‘whats got you so happy, darling?’ you quipped, giving him the drink the bouncer made you. your loving gaze settled on him, and your voice was filled with amusement and sarcastic suspicion.

‘oh, you know, just the usual, love.’ price’s blue orbs bored into yours as you squinted your eyes at him, before giggling and getting on your tippy-toes and kissing his cheek, his beard tickling your chin slightly.

[nyx-is-missing]

Clarisse and Reader (daughter of Poseidon) meeting in the middle of the night to swim in the lake and being caught by Chiron in a make-out session and being punished for it

Young love

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Poseidon's kid)

Summary: when Clarisse and reader cant get alone time in land and daylight, they search for the comfort of water and nights, until they are found

Warnings: poorly written make out session, fluff, lovebirds, kissing, chiron was there

(Yall already know)

"Clarisse are you sure nobody will notice we left?"

I said, while we both took of our clothes somewhere in the sand, the night was beautiful and me and Clarisse wanted some deserved time alone, wich we couldnt have in daylight

With the summer everyone was in camp and nowhere was calm and alone enough for us to have...a little time for us.

So there it goes our idea, to go out in the middle of the night to swim at the beach.

"Who would notice? Everyone is sleeping right now, dont let your head stop you from having some fun... c'mon"

She took me by the hand, walking me to the water, and we only stopped when the water was almost on our necks.

"Hey clari, do you hear this?"

"Hear what?"

She looks at me, and then looks around, as if waiting to see if somebody was there.

"The waves, arent they the most beautiful melody?"

I close my eyes, feeling the hot water currents softly in my body, and hearing the sound of the waves who never ceased to wet the sand.

"No"

She kissed the base of my neck

"Your voice is"

"Clarisse la rue being lovestruck? Thats new"

I looked at her, smilling big, to wich she just answered "i dont have much time with you, let me be ridiculous"

Her kissed went up, from the base, to the middle, to my jaw, and then my lips.

Her arms were around my hips, pulling me closer to her, my arms automatically hugged her neck.

I couldnt describe a better feeling, being in the water, on the arms of the girl i liked, kissing her, being unafraid of living, of loving.

Everything was too much, and yet too less.

I wanted more, more love, more of her, more kisses, just more more more.

Her tongue was hot against mine, and i felt everything with such intensity, i could swear my legs became jello, if my body wasnt inside the water, i would be shaking.

Its siliy, we kissed a thousand times and it still feels like the first one, i still get nervous when she looks at me that way only she can do.

I deepened the kiss, and felt her hands lowering a few inches, please let all the fish be sleeping, they like gossip a little bit too much

There was wind, and still i felt hot, even more when her mouth got back to the base of my neck, bitting it gently.

My eyes closed with enjoyment, but they oppened it up so quickly as i heard a familiar sound, a too familiar sound.

"Um.. clari we should sto-"

"Oh please, i barely have any time with you anymore, just one more kiss... or two.. or three.."

She said going directly back to kissing my mouth

The chill in my spine did not went away, actually, it had gone bigger when i heard him clearing his throat and saying:

"Young demigods... dont you think its too late to be swimming?"

Me and Clarisse separate really fast, faces going white with the shock of being caught by him

"CHIRON! I...we... how are you? The family doing great?"

He just stared at us with a fatherly look

"Both of you, get dressed and go back to your own cabins.....and three days of clean duty"

"Yes chiron, we are sorry"

We say togheter

"And next time you two decide to sneak out, at least do at daylight, so we can notice if something happens to either of you...or at least in a place harder to catch because... seriously.. i've been alive centuries, did you really think i wouldnt check the beach?"

[allmcl]

hi!! do you also write for armin (separately)? ive been craving some armin content for a while and i found your account, your writing is so amazing, and i was wondering if you'd write something where candy and armin arent back together yet in UL and, after a night in the snake room with alexy, rosa, priya and the others, armin decides to fight for her love not knowing he doesn't need to fight for it since she's head over heels for him

STILL HERE │ Armin Keenan.

When a reunion with an old love reminds Armin of everything they experienced together, he decides that after so much time, it's now or never that he should get you back.

pairing('s). armin keenan x f!reader

genre. fluff, angsty.

content wanings. mentions of breakup, alcohol consuming, cursing, kissing, suggestive themes.

author's note. MISSED THIS BOY SO MUCH DURING UL, hope you like this!! (tysm for requesting, sorry it took so long!) AND BTW, i found like a lot of lastnames and i decided for this one (not sure if is the canon one ://)

I was sure that my return to the city would be harder. After all, I couldn't blame anyone for being angry with me. If one of my friends just left, without even saying goodbye, I wouldn't be happy either. But, luckily for me, they had a much better reaction than I expected.

At the moment, I only saw Rosa and Melody. Although perhaps I didn't know how to show it at the time, having seen them after so long squeezed my heart so much that I still feel my emotions on the surface.

To tell the truth, I'm scared. Although I used to seeing eachother very often in high school, whether to go out for a drink or just to walk around the city, this is not high school anymore. And it's now, when I'm getting ready to go out, that I feel like I'm getting ready in my old room to go shopping with the them. The phone vibrates, and brings me out of my melancholic thoughts.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, the screen glows with a notification from Alex.

Alex…

I refrain from further worries and simply read it from the preview.

"[Y/NNN]??? we are waiting for youuuu"

"Years waiting to see you, and you still late🙄​"

I smiled wistfully. I know he says it jokingly, but the guilt is real. But that's not important now, because it's once and for all my time to fix that, and to get back on track with my life here. I type a quick, “on my way,” before pocketing my phone and heading out the door to my campus room. Although the phone rings again, I don't bother checking it and I hurry to arrive on time.

I look at the time on the screen: "11:48." I curse under my breath. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm lost, and that even though I've been wandering around on the same street for more than twenty minutes, I still can´t find the bar. On the other hand, who would think of inviting someone to a place and not sending the address?

When I start to stress again, I recognize a voice in the distance that I would recognize anywhere. It's Alex. I follow the sound, although I don't pay attention to what it says, none of it matters when I see it. His eyes light up and he falls silent immediately. As I expected, he almost hugged me to the ground. Rosa also briefly joined our hug, smiling as she watched us interact.

"Finally!" He screeches in my ear, and although it dazes me a little I laugh out loud. "I missed you like crazy…" He whispered to me, and I had to separate myself for a moment to not burst out crying in my place.

"I missed you, Alex.." I sighed, but he seemed to notice my mood, changing the subject slighlty.

"You´re back, all that matters." He jokes, and I smile. "I hope you're ready for the surprise then."

I raise an eyebrow. "Surprise?"

"Yes, I told you by text." He emphasized obviously, gesturing towards his phone.

Of course, the text I didn't read. I nod briefly, so he thinks I know what he's talking about. Their surprises honestly scare me. They can go from something exciting to something illegal, you never know what to expect from these two. I'm nervous yes, I assume the "surprise" is inside.

"It's not bad at all." Rosa calms me down, she seems to read my mind sometimes. "I promise you'll be happy"

Well, now I'm scared.

Alexy wastes no time in cutting off the conversation, and Rosa simply presses her hand on my back lovingly, urging me to enter the disco-bar, "Snake Room." This was definitely not there when I lived here. Well, most of the things I see now didn't used to be there. Upon entering I immediately notice the loud music, the smoke and the smell of alcohol, the lights blur my vision a little, and it is difficult for me to discern where Alex is.

Rosa guides me a little to the table near the bar, which seems to be one of the quietest places in the place. But that's when the colored lights hanging near the stage allow me to catch a glimpse of him.

"I thought it would be nice for you to see each other again." Alex says, trying to calm the tension in the air.

My breath stops for a few moments. I don't know how to feel, but my body responds on its own. I'm shaking a little, and at this point I don't know if it's the flashing lights or their presence that's making me dizzy. I can barely move to get close to greet him. He changed a lot. Of course his essence is still there, I can tell, but it's definitely different.

"Welcome back." His voice is also different, deeper I could say. It throws me off a little. Well, all of him does. I curse myself internally. I was convinced I was ready for this, but I see I'm not.

I smile at him reflexively, and sit down across from him. The silence feels quite loud now that I feel his gaze on me, even though I avoid making eye contact. Rosa clears her throat, and gestures indiscreetly at Alex. I would laugh, if it weren't for the fact that this whole situation has me totally overwhelmed. I look at him for a few seconds, but he was already looking at me. God, I don't know if I can handle this.

"I imagined you´d be happier…" He smiled with amusement, and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat at his expression. He looks boyish, in a strange way. It's as if for a moment, his expression took me back to high school Armin.

"I'm surprised, that's all." I laugh nervously.

"Well, he came all the way here just to see you." Alexy clarifies, but Rosa waves him off with a glare.

I look at him with my eyes slightly open. "You´re not living here?" The question escapes me before I can think about it.

"Not quite." He clarifies, and takes a sip of beer. It's now that my throat feels a little dry, but I don't feel like drinking alcohol. I could end up doing things i´ll regret. "Although now that you're back, I'd think about it." He winks at me.

I looked to the side, and felt my cheeks burn a little. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

"I thought you were tougher." Rosa reproaches, tripping a little, but Alexy holds her steady. "Now you go to bed early and don't drink. You've become an old man." He grimaces, and a laugh escapes us.

"It's not that!" Alex complains. "I just wanted to greet [y/n] sober." He looks at me smiling, and I smile back. "I'll take care of the old drunk" Rosa exclaims a "hey!" and hits him lightly on the shoulder, but he doesn't flinch.

"Are you back on campus?" Armin asks me, and then I remember that he is, in fact, still here. He looks at me, waiting for my response but I freeze instantly. Every time he speaks I experience the same embarrassment.

"Well, I'll leave you, lovebirds." The idiot does it on purpose. But for the first time, I notice that I'm not the only one embarrassed, Armin's cheeks turn pink, and he sends a reproachful look to his twin, who smiles innocently. Some things never change, I see. "Take care of her." It sounds more like a threat than a request, to which the black-haired man rolls his eyes and nods.

I watch Alexy walk away in the opposite direction.

Silence falls between us, and it is until we see the two disappear after turning down the street that I understand that I am alone with him. I smile awkwardly at him before taking a couple steps back.

"I'll walk you back." I open my eyes a little, and look at him with surprise. He seems sure of his words, and looks at me expectantly with that smile of his that I still have to get used to. "I don't like the idea of ​​you walking alone,"

"As much of a gentleman as I remembered." I reply, a flirtatious smile escaping me and Armin simply smiles wider. "It's close, anyway"

"I insist." His expression is confident, and well, I don't mind his company either.

With a slight nod of my head, Armin understands that I agree, so we start walking towards the campus. The silence this time is not awkward, and although we don't talk about anything, it really feels like there are an infinite number of topics to touch on. Not very pleasant topics. After all, we can't ignore that we were together, and that the break-up wasn´t the most pacific thing either.

"I was also glad to see you again." I whisper, and even though my voice sounds quiet, he hears me. He always does.

"I figured you'd be mad." He confesses, and although I don't see his face I know he's looking at me.

Deep down, yes I am. But I'm not sure if that was enough of a reason to ruin the evening and Alex's surprise. It would have been nice to have mentally prepared myself so that I wouldn't have reacted like a schoolgirl to seeing him.

"Well, it's been a long time…" I clear my throat a little. "I have my reasons to be tho."

"Yeah, but I bet you forgot all of it with how good I look." He mocks, smiling widely.

I click my tongue. "You can't use your face to change the past."

"You're right, but I can use it to change things now." A lopsided smile appears on his features, and his comment takes me by surprise.

I tense up suddenly and simply look away. I hate that probably if he tried… "You're too cocky." I complain.

Deep down, I wonder if that would bother me. It's stupid. Armin didn't care that we broke up, I really wonder what his intentions are now. But, I can't deny that the memory is still alive in me. Everything about him remains in me as if he had never left, and it bothers me that I couldn't change that in this embarrassing amount of time we were apart.

"I just feel like I'm not the only one." Armin grumbles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy pants. Now I also notice that his style is different. It doesn't seem like his brother intervenes as much in his clothes as before, that is, he maintains a bit of his own style more than anything. More calm and informal.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I grimace, crossing my arms before looking back at him.

"I say that because I notice the way you look at me." His words make me even more angry. Sometimes I feel like there is no one who can read me like he does. It was always like this, since we were young. One expression on my face was enough for Armin to decipher what was happening to me.

"I―no.." I stuttered and he noticed it, however, he didn't continue probing and I remained silent.

The walk to campus was getting shorter, and I wasn't sure I knew how to say goodbye. Everything was so strange. It's not that I want to see him, but knowing that he was going to leave made me feel like I couldn't just leave him like that. My heart is beating fast, I feel like even he can hear it.

And although it seems like things can't get any worse, several drops falling on my hair bring me out of my frantic thoughts. The chance of rain was quite low today, but of course it has to rain anyway.

"This weather is a bit nice." Armin points out, extending his palm to feel the raindrops on it, which slowly intensify.

"Nice? I'm soaking my clothes." I grumble, trying to cover myself a little.

"On one of these days we kissed for the first time" Armin smiles to himself, and simply lowers his gaze to look me in the eyes.

Shit. I didn't expect to have to think about this again. Less now that he´s here. Of course I remember it. I invited him to eat at the restaurant where we made that ridiculous double date that I actually still remember as one of my most precious moments.

On the way back home, rain started pouring and us, like idiots, hide nder a tree until it calmed down a bit. I wouldn´t forget something as special as that.

"You have no right Armin." I feel my eyes water at the memory, but I am relieved to know that because of the rain it is not very noticeable. "You can't say that now."

"It's not easy to pretend that I don't remember anything that happened." He frowns a little and stops in the middle of the street, forcing me to do the same.

"I'm not asking you to do it but…" I stop, feeling a sudden lump in my throat.

"And you can't pretend that the same thing doesn't happen to you."

And he is right. He always is when he talks about my feelings. He is correct, of course. Since I saw him, I knew that in fact, nothing of what I felt for him had managed to dissipate over the years. My heart still belongs to him.

"I lost you once, [y/n]. I can't let you go again…" His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. "When I knew you were coming back I―…"

I interrupted him. "Do you think it's easy for me?" I raised my tone of voice slightly, the fierce rain drowning out the noise a little. "Your lack of interest tired me out, Armin. You can't come back into my life like this and expect me to throw myself into your arms like it was nothing."

"I know I did things wrong, but I can still show you that I changed!" He raised his voice too. My heart was racing, and his blue eyes looking at me like I was the only thing in the world made me feel like a teenager again. "I'm not the same one who made mistakes. The only thing that remains of me is the love I have for you, [y/n], it's the only thing I couldn't change."

Tears are streaming down my face, and I don´t think it comes unnoticed by him anymore. He sheepishly tries to dry them, but the water keeps running down.

"Look at me," Armin approached me and forced me to look at him with a gentle movement of his hand. He pressed his fingers a little on my chin. "I love you." And now, in his bright eyes, in his warm hands and in his smile that I never thought I would see again, I see the truth.

Without being able to get the words out of my mouth, frustrated, angry, I let myself go and as if my hands knew their way, they wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him closer to me. Our breaths merge and his arms end up around my waist. We are so close I memorize every feature of his face, every new thing my eyes notice.

"Are you going to kiss me or keep making me wait?" He murmured, and to silence him once and for all I kissed him.

I felt safe, at peace. Like I've been waiting for this forever. His lips fit perfectly on mine as always, his grip tightens and I need to hold on to him as I feel my legs shake a little. It's passionate, fierce. It's not like the way he kissed me before, so innocent and clumsy.

The butterflies that I thought were dead begin to flutter in my stomach again, and the only thing that separates me from jim is the lack of air. But even though we break the kiss, Armin doesn't let me go, he keeps me close to him and brings our foreheads together.

"This time I'll make you stay." He sighs, and kisses me again to seal his promise.

©allmcl !

[mako-neexu]

jalter feelings... sad... youre a fake of course. youre a fake since the day you were born, nothing more than someone else's idea brought to life, a what if of the person he loves, consumed as he was by grief, the flames that come from you are your idea of how hot they burned the holy maiden with... but in this life given to you, you discover lots of things, you want to surpass the original by being a separate existence and so you write, you draw, you read, you discover, you have fun, you learn to enjoy... and then you love...you fall in love... and then you approach the end of the journey, with that person you love, the very person, the very human who has witnessed your beginning all the way to the end... you with an empty burning grudge, you who has accepted love even as your existence is still flame that would threaten the world itself... you look back on this life of yours, having one last dance and reflect. 'oh. my story is really like cinderella's' because you were born as a dream, that same dream eventually needs to end. the clock mus strike midnight and things need to return to how they were.

no matter how fun it is, no matter how good it is, no matter how much you finally get to enjoy a semblance of normalcy, the dream, this flame needs to end. (they cant carry- this all scorching flame. they arent capable of hating forever, holding onto the past forever for that privilege that curse that blessing can only belong to the avenger class) especially to those who are still living and to the person you love, you need to wake them up, you need to let go. you need to shake their shoulder, roughly if you must, and tell them that you cant walk with them anymore...tell them that they still have thing to hold onto as one of the living, even you, who essentially has nothing have finally started to gain something...

jalter...love you...

[singlesomethinginstyle]

It is festive season in South Asia, and women are some of the most overworked among all social groups.

Suddenly, it is not just you, your partner/parents/siblings anymore - it is the entire extended clan, khandaan, their nosy relatives even with several degrees of separation.

The bulk of festive burden falls on women. From the cooking, an extensive menu that comprises unhealthy food which will not be fully consumed because everyone is diabetic or dieting, and the heartbroken woman has to finish what she painstakingly prepared or watch it go to the trash, to endless decor needs, shopping and gifting the extended family (a fine art which, god forbid you gift one relative something and another differently, tempers erupt) not to mention your own professional deadlines because your boss wants everything early so he can justify the 3-4-5 fay holidays.

Then comes the dieting because you KNOW you will be judged for your appearance, the clothing choices, the exhaustion of dealing with nasty relatives and the politics.

And if you're queer, in the closet or struggling or even simply wanting to be single or avoid marriage, suddenly your life is everyone's business, and this endless social nightmare, the bullying and the ostracism is the opposite of divine, it is debasing. God forbid if you are part of an inter-caste or inter-faith coupling, the negativity is worse.

Here are a few tips on how you can take care of yourself during this season.

You've gotta put yourself first. You cannot fight multiple battles on multiple fronts if you cannot take care of yourself first. FEED YOURSELF FIRST.

Look in the mirror ' and tell yourself - this festive season I am celebrating ME - I will feed myself first. You cannot fight big battles on an empty tank.

1. Food: eat before everyone else - get in the kitchen, make yourself something healthy in half an hour, cut a salad, a bunch of fruits and eat first. Cut up a few veggies at night, put it in a tiffin box and leave it in the fridge. When everyone is snoozing, have that. They will balance out all the junk that will go into your stomach. Don't start any ridiculous fast that will drain you. Get a doctor's note if you are being pressured and say - sorry maa ji. Health reasons I have to be careful.

2. Get a pre-festival health checkup. Go to the doctor and get your stats checked. Some labs offer full-body general health checkups at discounted rates. Grab a package and finish it. When you know where you are struggling, yiu can avoid making it worse.

3. Protect your money. Festive seasons have a pile of insidious stupid expenses that pile up and guess who pays ? The woman, the wife, the daughter in law. Do you think your Husband or inlaws will shell money out for that cute decor and diya set? No way. If you hold them accountable, they will probably give some money for all the gifts relatives give. Remove your credit cards and debit cards from online shopping sites. Pretend something is wrong with your card and it got blocked. Make your husband or In-laws pay instead.

So get realistic, set up a budget and empty your bank account into an FD. Congratulations, you only have a SMALL amount of money left for decorations - use that to get inventive and clever. Pull out old newspapers, and get into wealth-from-waste mode.

If you are even smarter, you will quietly set up an alternative savings account WITHOUT a debit card or credit card and squirrel away your Dussehra - Diwali bonus into it. If your husband asks, "Sorry yar, iss bar company mein bonus nahi de rahe hain, kaafi projects mein behind hue and they arent doing that well"

If you are still living with your parents make it a point to save every money gift you get. Take the cash, hide it safely and don't touch it. First opportunity - put it in the bank account (your own, not a shared one)

4. Secure your Jewelry. A pot of desi women are given gold and precipus jewelry during their marriage but this is often sneakily taken away by your mother in law in order to "safeguard it". It is usually in the bank or a locker you do not have access to.

So, this festive season, go FULL on TRADITIONAL. Wear that old saree, and ask mom in law for your jewelry because your extended family etc are mentioning seeing those pieces from your wedding, because they got sentimental. And then sneakily after the festivities, hide them in your own little locker (which you bought beforehand) and quietly head to the bank, and deposit it in a safe deposit box in YOUR name.

Remember, GOLD is one of the most secure available financial assets for a desi woman. But the gold you have is often controlled by your in-laws once you marry over. So make sure you take iy back bit by bit. And when they ask - make excuses like - the clasp is broken, need repairs, mom wants to upgrade it a little etc. And never give it back to your inlaws. Your gold is YOUR legal property. It should not go to your inlaws.

5. Mentally prepare for tough conversations.

Festive seasons are hard on women and they socially slaughter your dignity. Prepare snarky, sarcastic answers or don't hesitate to shut down what comes your way. But since many of you are raised to be docile, remember to anticipate all the tough topics someone will raise to criticize you, think of their personaliry and prepare some snarky answers beforehand. If a relative is asking abiut your marriage, ask them when their son is going to move out or if they're still a financial burden. Ask if their husbands have stopped ogling the maid. Don't be scared of going offensive. These guys are not your friends and won't hesitate to pull you down.

6. Prepare Me time. Make a set of activities, like groceries etc, that that can leave you alone and give you breathing space from the khandaan. Take longer to shop alone and take a break in the neighbourhood park. Use this time to meditate, check in with yourself and your goals and give youraelf a spiritual pat kn the back.

7. Prep an easy menu and donate the remaining. Plan a food menu that is not extensive. Order delicacies if possible, instead of Doing it Yourself. There is no BEST BAHU and BEST WIFE contest to win. Get the load of cooking off your back. If there is food leftover, call an orphanage and send it to them. Do not eat excessively out of guilt. Donate it to those who need it. When the burden of cooking is reduced the guilt of forced eating goes doen and you won't be putting junk in your body.

Remember - you are your own best friend. Festivals will take a lot out of you. They will cause families to get into unnecessary pissing contests and you have to bear the laborous brunt. So safeguard your time and energy.

[skullrift]

https://www.tumblr.com/skullrift/770905875833667584/sometimes-i-will-just-hyperfixate-on-my-system?source=share

I volunteer as tribute. Yap to me, stranger on the internet.

OMGGGGG YAYAYAYYAAAAA!!!!!!!! >:DD

okok ummmn im so bad at starting points HAALPPP. ig i can just go over like ??? origin n sys function stuff??? i think thats fun :33

ok so like,. ive technically known i was a system since 2020 BUUT when i was introduced to plurality as a concept it was thru ........ the dark side .......... and i was forced into labels that didnt fit me and i was wrong abt basically EVERYTHING (thats a WHOOOLE OTHER RAMBLE LAWLL) but around like late 2021 i said screw it and just rebuilt my system from the ground up

but like ive also been plural since a child i just didnt realize or identify as such but like THE SIGNS WERE THERE (SQUINTS AT ME CREATING MANY YOUTUBE ACCOUNTS AND "PRETENDING" 2 BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE) its hard for me to know our complete history cuz of that but i have a DECENT GRASP!!!!

nuni n jax were the initial split (the "core"s if u will) with jax being the trauma holder,,,, hes kinda just turned into the MENTAL ILLNESS MAN atp which makes sense?? cuz thats why he split to begin with. ,.. IDK IF THATS OVERSHAREY LAWLL. they were rly similar when we were younger but over time developed vry different identities,.. nuni hasnt changed very much but jax is like TOTALLYY different

nuni doesnt front much anymore cuz she went dormant 4 a while and its difficult for her to adapt to the current world cuz so much has changed but we always let her front 4 fun stuff :3 like we have a yearly tradition where her and my partner go to see a christmas play its so cuuuute X))

i split next!!! we arent totally sure why we kinda went off the idea that i was nuni's imaginary friend for a while but we dont know for sure,,.,, it was some time around 2017ish from what we can tell!!! i split as an introject of an animation memer actually (animation memes were our LIFEEE BACK THEN) but i am COMPLETELY MY OWN PERSON NOW!!!

dire came around somewhere around the same time ,,, he split as a secondary protector n comforter of sorts!! he has gone thru many iterations and has multiple introject sources cuz he rly just took the form of who/what was the best comfort source 4 us at the time!! he started as an oc introject tho n thats still vry important to his identity :3 later he ended up as the form of a character who was german and had a german accent and that has had a lasting impact on his voice as well!!! i could ramble abt dire 4ever hes so silly we love him

next was reffy!!! reffy was split on november 27th 2019!!! this is the day we joined a danganronpa rp WRHKSDFGH discord server n met our bfff <33 we didnt rly have friends at the time and were generally struggling with social things,, so jax kinda put all of his traits he deemed most "likeable" in2 reffy and created him to be the ideal version of himself that ppl would like and went dormant for a whileee ,,, it took reffy a while 2 properly develop as a person but he is vry important to our system cuz of what he represents!!! we celebrate his birthday every year too :33

soo for a while it was just us 5!! we thought we had other alters sometimes cuz identity is wacky (plus we r like all made up of fragments tbhh)

then august of last year driell split!!! he was made on purpose (by jax AGAAAAINNNN) cuz him & his bf in our partner sys decided 2 have kids!!! he doesnt front vry much cuz hes rly socially awkward and a lot of our daily life requires TALKING TO PPL but we want him to front more D:

and THENNNN early this year we went thru ,... EVENTS!!!! and it kinda threw our whole system function OUT THE WINDOWWW BUT ITS OKAY!!!!

noxious split as a direct response 2 the Event .,, it started as a reffy clone tbh (we were actually planning 2 integrate them at first) but its slowly developing its own identity totally separate!! it fronted a lot in september and made a lotta progress w that :D sily dog creechur

fen has been around 4 a while but she was a "sub alter" to reffy and went by reffen but a few months ago we had a think and went HMMMM U KNOW. ACTUALLY SHE IS LIKE THEIR WHOLE OTHER PERSON SHE IS NOT A SUB ALTER ANYMORE!!! so we let them split off completely n its been better for both them and reffy !!!!

AND LASTLYYYY ZANE!!! he split on november 9th of this year!!! so some prior context jax is made up of a TONN of fragments just cuz of how his trauma holding function works. but he doesnt rly like splitting any of them off cuz hes . WEIRD. but we went to an emo night party and one of the fragments in him had a WHOLE AWAKENING listening to mcr and fallout boy and getting drunk in the moshpit (more context jax refuses to listen 2 anything but green day cuz HES!!! WEIRD!!!!) and it took like 3 days of internal deliberation but jax FINALLY DECIDED to let him be his own person!!!! and hes very happy that way X)

SOOO UM. YEA!!!! THAT IS A HUGE ESSAY!!!!! I HOPE THAT IS NOT TOO MUCH INFORMATION EHFKFJGHE

here r refs of us/what we look like cuz yes :33

height chart is from like march ish ??? so our recent splits his year r not included in it also zane doesnt have a proper ref OOOPSS (hes 6'1" btw) whatever its fine XD

THANK U FOR ASKING AND LISTENING TO MY SILLY GOOFY RAMBLES I GET VERY EXCITED TALKING ABOUT MY SYSTEM RAAAA ‼️ more asks r always welcomed too heheheee /nf

- 🖤

[the-bonfires-ember]

ive been thinking about that thing people say about mental illness. yknow, 'its not a part of your personality' 'dont make it your identity' etc

but when you have a personality disorder, that doesnt really make sense anymore.

which makes my feelings on cluster b pride flags a little conflicted. coz, sure, it is fundamentally a part of your personality and certainly shapes your identity, but something about pride flags has always been off to me. perhaps especially as a person with aspd.

now, sure, on the one hand i get it. theres something appealing about having that kind of validation that you arent alone, especially when you are constantly masking and shifting who you are to fit the situation best.

we might have antisocial personality disorder but we are still, at our core, social creatures. we still desire community, we're just also afraid of it.

so yeah, a banner of community and others 'like us' seems fair enough, right?

BUT

theres still something... off to me about it. what it was, exactly, only came to me after a discussion with my partner about DID and PluralKit - yeah i know, im diving into plural drama now, lfg i guess

they showed me an infographic about the process of DID recovery which showed the progression from very disconnected and separated identities to a more blended 'final fusion' (a term they take issue with but thats a different story). i said that PluralKit must be confusing for people on the later ends of the spectrum they were showing me because, at that point, how do you tell who is blending with who? when the lines are blurry, how do you know who to tag yourself as? it seemed like an inhibitor to recovery if you were constantly cutting yourselves off from each other. (this is not me saying anything one way or the other about plurals and recovery in DID or whatever the fuck else, im just using this as an example. stfu i dont care about your opinions on any of this so dont waste your breath)

i think my feelings on aspd flags is somewhat similar. coz i mean, they are pride flags, right? and i think if you are taking pride in being aspd then you are far more likely to lean into your symptoms, and i think thats a slippery slope to go down and has just a very 'anti-recovery' vibe, if you know what i mean.

with that all said, i also very much think that if you dont want to recover, you dont have to. i dont think you can force anyone to recover and i dont think you should even try to. recovery is fucking shit and its hard and if you arent ready for it, you are just going to hurt whoever you are trying to make recover.

but i also think that you can have that opinion, whilst also being a voice for recovery, and be against 'anti-recovery' thinking.

because look, like it or not aspd is a fucking disorder. and at some point that becomes unhelpful or it wouldnt be a disorder. symptoms of aspd are debilitating and pretending otherwise that helps nobody. especially with all the 'all pwASPD are evil' scum out there.

so yes, i think the pride flags are... unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. but what about the other stuff? the creatures alla tbh creature and the plushiedreadful rabbit? (i think both of those designs suck btw but thats not the point)

idk those feel like they are in a different category. theres not really a sense of pride in those, more a sense of comfort. again, community, but also a sort of softness(??) that the pride flag things seem to miss - especially when they are like 'vampire aspd' or 'evil aspd' or any of the other bullshit things ive seen out there. i guess they are also just way more 'mental illness' coded than pride flags are.

pride flags have always been a 'we're here and theres nothing wrong with us' kind of thing. but the creatures and the bears are more lighthearted and sort of making fun of the conditions a little bit. highlighting symptoms and coping mechanisms. just look at the imocreature - specifically the worm one which is my favourite - and the way its able to be so pathetic looking and cute. its not meant to be cool or badass or whatever else, its just a lil guy that gets sad without supply.

which, yknow, relatable.

[margle]

the bowling episode & cat in the wall meta (deetress)

I think bowling is a turning point for dee. we got an insight into her mind and how significantly dennis affects her. importantly, she managed to defeat him. but rather than her victory being centred, as it previously would be, on her relationship with the gang, when she turns around, they arent there. she is unable to define her victory by their response. obviously this is painful for her, but it also demonstrates that she can now win without the gang's support. only the waitress was still there for her. the waitress, imo, represents a new path for dee. not away from the gang, because obviously that will never happen, but someone to rely on. her equivalent to mac and dennis or charlie and frank.

in mac and dennis break up, dee is shown to be the only member of the gang without someone to rely on. and so the episode about 'twosomes' and frienship ends with her alone, stuck in the wall. I think dee has been 'stuck in the wall' for a long, long time. obviously she is friends with the gang. but, charlie for example, can take being badly treated by mac for an episode and be fine because he has frank to rely on. even though mac and dennis have a more rocky relationship, they have never permanently left each other. in comparison, dee is badly treated by them but has no one to back her up. this must hurt for her because dennis is her twin, the one person who should be always on her side. and he is, in a way, but she must also battle against him. this season expanded upon her and frank's relationship, but he will always prefer charlie to her - the only one he thinks of as his child.

therefore dee is stuck in an odd group. she is 'stuck in the wall'. I think the waitress could be the only one to save her and get her out of the wall. the waitress, despite calling her ugly, stood up for dee against dennis. she chose dee against the man she once would do anything for. in that moment, dee had someone to rely on. the waitress also, similarly to the ireland episodes, represented her foil. she effortlessly stood up to dennis, whereas dee couldn't. she bested him physically (he literally broke his hand, numbers dont count) whereas dee couldn't. the waitress, perhaps, represents what dee needs most.

the reason they can start a new relationship as a (potential) 'twosome' is because the episode also marks a turning point for the waitress. the shift of her character from charlie's love interest/victim to dee's foil started in the ireland episodes. she manages to get the acting gig, pulls dee out of the bog and then sinks in her place, essentially unwillingly sacrificing herself for dee. their relationship was still harmful in the ireland episodes - they were taking from each other. but their mutuality was imo cemented in the bowling episode.

charlie is intentionally written as distracted and uninterested during his matches with the waitress. he talks to her casually, bothers her a bit but benignly, and runs off as soon as he can in order to do something else off screen. he now has his own life, off screen, away from her. in the same way she always had her own life separate from him. they are finally equal. I think this shows how the waitress isnt a significant part of charlie's life anymore.

on a meta level, the waitress is present in the episode because of her plot with dee, not because of a plot point with charlie. she is also willingly there and organised it herself, rather than being stalked or kidnapped or randomly showing up in ireland as if her life centres around the gang (which we know is not true). more importantly, if the gang hadnt intervened, dee would have spent time with the waitress without them. they have carved a space away from the gang together (even though dee was pushy about it). their relationship doesn't only exist within the context of charlie anymore.

the waitress has flourished with this change. she doesnt drink throughout the episode, has the funds to organise a bowling team, has friends, is making bowling shirts and is clearly working out (the kick). she is miles apart from where she was during charlie and dee find love.

bowling is proof that the waitress doesnt have to be stuck in her cycle of sobriety and addiction. she has successfully severed herself from charlie. charlie, along with her drinking, was a product of the stagnancy present in all sitcoms. no matter what happened in an episode, he would always keep stalking her and she would always start drinking again. but iasip has proved that its characters can transform (mfhp). and so I think her friendship with dee could be proof of a new direction for her. similarly, dee has been stagnant and 'stuck in the wall' since the show's beginning. she hasn't had anyone to pull her out. but the waitress, by standing up for her against dennis, is proof that this can change for her. dee can look outside of the gang, and have someone to rely on.

they can free each other.

[theprinceandthewitch]

I'm definitely kicking the hornets nest with this one but I always thought it was weird how Marcelines "fallen hero" characterization wasn't really utilized... like at all throughout the show.

Marceline is mostly defined by these characters: Simon, her father, The Vampire King and Princess Bubblegum, with PB and Simon taking the forefront.

Which I thought was weird since PB isn't defined by her relationship with Marceline or any other character. PB gets to exist outside of bubbline and other characters while Marceline doesn't.

And... I honestly dont know why that is, other than the writers just don't like Marceline as much as Princess Bubblegum. I don't think they hate her, but they would rather write PB episodes than Marceline episodes. PB is a more interesting and fun character to write for them. They also need to keep up the illusion she's just as bad as Princess Bubblegum by... not actually making Marceline as bad as Princess Bubblegum. Or really doing anything with Marceline other than using her to develop Simon, making her a depressed goth baddie, or creating Bubbline ship fuel.

Yes, I still will not forgive the show for straight up saying Bubblegums shirt [the one Marceline gave her] held more sentimental value than Hambo. Ah yes... the shirt Bubblegums ex gave her holds sooo much more sentimental value compared to the doll Marcelines beloved father figure gave her when she was literally a defenseless child in a post apocalyptic wasteland.

Can ya tell which character they like more?

Anyways...

People usually reference "It Came from The Nightosphere" as evidence of Marceline being as bad as PB but: She didn't summon her father to Ooo - Finn did. Therefore, that was FINN'S mess to clean up and not Marcelines.

The only time she really goes out of her way to mess with people is when she's being an asshole to Finn and Jake in earlier seasons.

Oh right, and using Finn to get back at PB that one time. But other than that - Marcy hasn't done anything thats puts her on par with a dictator.

Unlike PB who will literally gaslight a lemon child into cleaning up a mess she created... or how she would rather kill an entire squad of sentient robot guards for being too violent rather than like... idk... train them to become less violent... Or how literally anything that comes from PB's DNA turns out to be straight up evil... Or how she will perform child friendly lobotomies on her people while having the audacity to say how some people are just built different...

The point is Marcy is definitely not a "good" person, but she's not on that "literal fascist with a god complex" type of shit like PB is.

Another way they maintain this illusion is by separating Marceline and Finn, because if they got more episodes together then you'd have to address Marcelines "fallen hero" characterization. They're not going to address this part of Marcelines character because they were having a grand time making PB into a fascist. So they can't make Marceline anymore sympathetic than she already is. Remember, Marceline is supposed to be as monstrous as PB is.

This is why Marcy doesn't have any episodes with Finn post "Into the Nightosphere" and why we don't get any Finn and Marcy episodes until... [checks notes] Stakes... and even then those arent Finn and Marcy episodes. Like they only time we see them hang out together is when they make a cameo in Dark Purple.

I'm not counting Bad Little Boy as a Finn and Marcy episode because it's more of a Marceline introspection episode focusing on her feelings for Finn.

But yeah i think this show is funny for completely neglecting to make Marcy just as bad as PB is. Ah yes, she is just as PB because Marcy... [checks notes] has depression. Being depressed makes ya just as bad as a dictator dont cha know...

It's also funny how they want me to think Bubblegum isn't as bad as Ashe even though theyre literally the same character - they're both ancient beings with god complexes LMAO.

[monsterpromxreaderforthesoul]

Realizing your trans while dating them (Ftm, will post Mtf later)

TW//slight mention of pregnancy (in a semi light hearted matter), crying, implied sexual content

Liam

baby boy is so so so supportive…in his own weird way. You tell him while he’s at your apartment for a study session it went a little something like this

“Hey..liam? i have something to tell you…”

he looks up from his book from above the rim of his glasses at you before noticing your pained expression and transferring his face into one as well before quickly shutting the book and sitting up to pay attention to you.

“What’s wrong…? You look upset.”

“Liam I realized something about myself, well more like i’ve come to grasp with something i’ve always known…”

he now looks Puzzled, what could you possible mean by that?

“I don’t Feel Right in my body…something is wrong with me where i am now. I don’t Feel Like a girl. And i totally understand if that’s a deal breaker for you and you want to break up with me.”

your eyes start to tear up and your composure breaks and you start to cry in your hands but before you can let out a genuine sob liam has wrapped his arms around you and you gasp from the sudden contact and you go to look up at him and he is smiling at you.

“Why on earth would i do a silly thing like that? You know i’m Bisexual right?”

He pulled away from you with a smirk on his face

“Besides the whole idea of Gender conformity and What a person can be is So mainstream”

You rolled your eyes playfully at your boyfriend, you couldn’t be happier at this outcome

—————————————

Daimen

He literally has gay dads, he’s so supportive of LGBTQIA+ people it’s frightening. Like you don’t expect this kind of proud and Kind nature from DAIMEN of all people.

“Hey babe..? i have something to tell you…”

you said fidgeting with your fingers

“He looked at how nervous and Somewhat pained your expression was and he got nervous”

“Oh fuck, what’s wrong?? Don’t tell me your pregnant. I’m not ready to be a dad yet!”

“NO IM NOT PREGNANT YOU IDIOT!! we use a condom every time anyway, where’d you think it’d come from?”

“I dunno, like a freak accident or something”

“Well no, i’m not pregnant but this is still serious”

“What’s wrong then…?”

“Well, I don’t feel like a girl anymore… to be honest i don’t think i ever did”

His posture seems to relax and he sighs of relief

“That’s it? I thought something was wrong you scared the shut out of me”

“Wha- But arent you straight?”

“HAH- That’s funny babe. I’m attracted to you regardless of your gender. I think your awesome and i love being around you”

“Awww thanks Babe!~”

he then opens the window and shouts out to the world

“WHOOOOOO!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIENDDDD!!”

and you both know that somewhere in hell daimens dads are smiling

—————————

Calculestor

You told him at Camp Spooky when you were walking in the woods back from the meteor shower you had just watched together 

“Hey Cal..? Can we Talk?”

“Of course romantic partner Y/N!' what do you wish converse about?”

“Well What do you know about Gender Identity?”

“Ah in My hard drive i have memories of talking with Friend Milo about that topic. They mentioned that they are in fact a ‘non-binary’ and in Fact use they/them pronouns, After that i conducted a data search on the web and found out there was a plethora of others and labels for people who have a different perception of self from their biological sex. Why do you ask?”

“well i believe im somewhere on that spectrum you just mentioned..”

“oh my, Are you saying that you are transgender?”

“Yes i am…are you okay with that?”

“Of course! I am attracted to you romantically regardless of your biological sex, you have done that for me being that i have no Sexual reproductive parts. So of course i see no issue, what would you like me to refer to you as?”

———————-

Scott

You told him in a motel on the road-trip you went on with polly, she was in a separate room since we were able to afford 2 and since you and scott were dating it was obvious you were comfortable sharing so Polly was super stoked to have a huge bed to herself

“Hey scott..? we need to talk..”

“Oh no are you breaking up with me??? did i do something wrong?? am i not a good boy??”

“No no no! nothing like that I swear, It’s just something i have to tell you”

“Oh, well then what is it?” he said tilting his head like a confused puppy

“Well Yknow how I’m a girl right?”

“Yeah? you’re my girlfriend!”

“Well i’m not so Sure i am a girl anymore…i’ve realized i might be trans..sorry if it’s a deal breaker for you and if you wanna end things i completely understand”

“What?? break up with you??? why would i do that when i just got a boyfriend! is there anything else i should know?”

————————

Wowee this took unnecessary long for me to write considering the last one was only like 15 mins 😅 i hope you all enjoyed this one! i’ll post the ftm version and nb version later

Peace and love! -Ghosty

pst follow my main @ghostygloom

[monggay]

holy fucking shit you guys. um. i came across. a treasure trove. of um, my past self. came across an old group chat w some friends back when i was like, 12-13, and. holy shit.

good news: apparently i did use to be somewhat talkative and not quite as anxious to talk and interact ! i used to be able to carry conversations! not well or inawkwardly but very much plenty! i used to be able to talk and joke around without taking a million psychic damage just trying to send a message and even just saying whats on my mind carefree without being anxious that itll be weird or that they didnt want me to say that or that i didnt have to scramble for words or be unable to come up with quips or anything to reply other than just 'lol' or 'lmao'!! i feel like these days i only know how to talk and word things in a given or meme way aka all my vocabulary is just. tumblr memes.

bad news: holy fucking shit i was so cringe. like. on another level. on levels unimaginable. i was straight up just. weird. you know, horny preteen discovering sex jokes and crude language and sex humor for the first time? straight up had no filter, loved to ramble, except also had zero social sense still and rambled to a weird and overly and uncomfortable degree where it was just awkward and often said things that just. made the conversation weird? i embraced that weirdness and like, good on me i guess, but i think i just usually ended up saying things? blurting anything on my mind, that well. technically arent bad? or seriously fucked up or anything but just like. will probably haunt me for the rest of my life if i look at it now.

also like. i dont remember any of it ??????? i vaguely remember a Few conversations, but a lot of it? just straight up. unfamiliar to me who the fuck is that i dont remember saying any of that shit that past me is so fundamentally different and alien to me i literally dont recognize or remember anything i did then anymore

apparently i was just a giant nerd who read way too much smut and was just a little too unashamed and had very little sense of appropriateness which yeah i get given my age then its that. age of you know. just got exposed to people being vulgar, recently transitioned to high school from elementary, which is probably like. a way more. fucked up thing that people realize sometimes. cause in elementary i always thought i was still like you know. a little kid. but going into high school (which is younger than in US hs, at 12 y/o) youre suddenly treated or like, expected? to be older? more knowleadgeable? you know that thing about how kids these days are all trying to be adults now and how theres really no more media like the disney teenage live shows that separate little girl to grown lady? i think that jut like, hit me a lot in 7-8th grade + the introduction of nsfw shit and fandom and the internet (cause like. i did not have internet in elementary school, At All. and then suddenly in high school i was supposed to have a messenger account for school, i had a phone, i could use the laptop, i think i had a weird relationship w the internet then, cause at that point all my friends were already exploring facebook and posting etc, but i was so anxious and shy about that already that i just never started (which like, continues to today, i still dont use fb at all, cuase it feels so weird and awkward to start now when i was so adamant against not using it in the past) aaaand ive lost my train of thought and the point of this sentence

[drinkabletoxicdishsoap]

HAIII IM BACK LIKE I PROMISED HERES MY WINN BULLSHIT LORE

winn was superrrrr close to their mom before she died, she worked as a hair dresser for abit and then as a security guard at pattys and would take them to work when younger so they were very distraught when she died due to medical complications, emmet was a family friend and elijahs long time best friend from high school so they got married a little after her death (yes its suspicious and yes elijah mightve cheated while she was alive yes this is more convoluted then it should be) the cousins arent relevant at all, and yes charlottes name is a fnaf refrence i couldnt pass up the oppertunity

ignore the fucking . "missing since 2007" thing cuz its apart of that one au i mentioned i never talk abt anymore so it wouldnt fit into canon but tldr thats nick of time shes gone bananas dont worry about it (i had a fic in the worlds in like august . i still have the doc open incase i want to finish it since its halfway done but i cant write rn i can only do 1 hobby at a time #sad) also their maternal grandmama is a fucking asshole so who cares

(zipper is a border collie if u gaf......... btw)

I was going to make a separate Winn headcanon post but since you shared this beautiful family tree with me I want to share my headcanons about them!!

TYSM FOR SHARING ITT RAGHH ITS AMAZING AND YES I DO GAF !! THESE ARE SO COOL I LOVE LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT THEIR MOM

If I do think of more, I’ll either reblog, edit, or reply!! I’m sorry if they’re out of character or it seems like I’m projecting

they listen to 80’s Japanese city pop!! please tell me someone else sees it and I’m not crazy 💔💔 I probably am oh well maybe it’s because im listening to that genre right now

following up with the music headcanons, I feel they would listen to a lot of bands. Not any certain kind of genre, they just love listening to bands :3 (weezer fan…)

hip hop listener

amusement park enthusiast

maybe it’s only because of the patty possum episode but I feel like they love arcades

GUITAR PLAYER THROUGH AND THROUGH TRUSTTTTTT!! ONE OF THEIR DREAMS IS TO START A BAND I SWEAR

lowkey a fnaf kid. Idk the patty possum episode reminds me a lot of security breach

has a lot of stress and anxiety problems but hides it because they don’t want to upset their friends

whenever they get a new interest, they dive deep into the lore

Minecraft kid.. watched a lot of Minecraft YouTubers (the ones who aren’t groomers I promise)

if I have to give them a style, it’s either grunge or Adam Sandler fits, no in between

listens to music A LOT to help them calm down. basically one of their coping mechanisms

always begged their parents to get them those playgrounds you build in your backyard

LOVES comic books!!!!

LOVES superhero movies as well

sonic fan

plays the pokemon games.. i think they’ve played every gen.. their favorite is black and white

card collector!!!

when it comes to vacation, they love going on excursions and exploring :3

I think they would enjoy gravity falls and adventure time.. maybe I’m projecting though my bad

I don’t know if anyone has read it but you know survivors? yeah I feel like they would love that but maybe that’s just me maybe I fever dreamed that

their favorite animals are bugs. They don’t discriminate they love all and any kind of bugs

they go to skate parks a lot ! They love helping out with people who are struggling with skating or just love hanging out with fellow skaters

very outdoorsy

they love action movies and games

I feel like they played a lot of the Mario franchise

SPLATOON FAN I SWEARRRRRR

I feel like they would love going to farms

posters everywhere in their room

Likes to hang out at roller skate rinks

graphic tees.. they’re so normal about graphic tees

pin and keychain collector

an anime kid but only for like the action animes. Mainly attack on Titian

plays basketball for fun

owns like 100 slinkys

That’s it 🤯 sorry it’s super long :d thank you so much for coming to another yap session! I hope you have a great day/night to whoever is reading this. thank you for sharing your family tree as well! If anyone has any more headcanons, feel free to share in my inbox, reblogs, or replies!!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

how do you stop missing someone, especially when they arent really gone gone you just aren't in each others lives anymore and neither of you can go back to how it was in the before times recent community grief got me thinking and im sorry if youre not the person to ask but idk maybe you have thoughts?

So, I have this friend who just went through a pretty nasty divorce. And even before the separation and the filing, the man she married and the man she was currently married to were not the same person. This man had changed in only a few years, and not for the better. He had spent time in some pretty gross places and picked up some pretty gross ideologies, and he treated her pretty terribly. She filed for divorce, and then one day asked me, "If he is so terrible to me, why do I keep feeling like leaving him is like someone died?"

And my response to her was honestly more or less a paraphrase of something I had read in a book after my dad died that was about grief and got into grief that isn't necessarily caused by a death, but instead a separation of people for any number of reasons. Could be immigration takes you so far away from each other that you don't have the ability or money to visit, it can be a divorce, it can be cutting off toxic parents that you still love, it could be the loss of a friendship... Any number of things.

So what I told her was when you lose someone, you don't necessarily have to lose them to death to feel like you have lost connection to a life.

My friend wasn't mourning the loss of a man who treated her like shit. She was grieving the loss of the man she had originally married, the man she fell in love with, the man she dated. And she was grieving the loss of the future she had pictured having with him.

That's grieving a life lost.

I have lost a few people in this way. Sometimes to a conflict, sometimes to simply losing touch over time. The funny part is that I still sometimes have dreams where I'm just hanging out with them. Or in the case of an old boyfriend, I sometimes have dreams even now about apologizing for some of the things I did and hearing him apologize for some of the things he did. That conversation is never going to happen, not through any fault of either of our own, it just isn't. But the mind still wants things to wrap up, it wants to be able to categorize events and people and places in our lives and file them neatly away.

Life is too messy for that.

What has worked best for me, and it may not work for you but for me... I allow the grief and the mourning. I make space for it. I acknowledge that it's real and it's not lesser than other forms of grief just because it isn't necessarily as permanent. Pain is pain, and this isn't Sadness Olympics.

So for me, being able to think about it and work it out and go over what happened and what I'm sad about helps me because I'm not repressing and pushing it down, which only makes me dwell on it. Instead, I might notice something and think, Dustin would really like this song. And then feel a moment of melancholy for the conversations we never got to have. And then I move on.

If the loss is fresh, acknowledge that it's fresh, and that it's going to take a while to feel any better than you do right now about it.

It will stop being a fresh loss. But it may still come to mind from time to time, and that's okay, that's normal. Grief and loss are not linear. They are circles, they are rivers, they wind around and double back on themselves. They come in waves, they come in hailstorms, they come in the tide making its inexorable way up or down, they come sometimes in droughts.

Sometimes it can help if you have someone to talk to about it, or just write down what you're feeling even if you never show those writings to anyone else. Make space for the feelings, make space for the thoughts. Play music that resonates with how you feel, read books that fit the mood, maybe draw pictures. Just let your brain do what it will with the emotions.

It helps me. I don't know if it would help you.

But those are my thoughts.

[wee00]

i have this reoccurring dream of moving back into my old house. when it used to happen, the entire house would be huge and itd be like a maze, or it would hardly even look like a house more like an mc escher painting. but the longer time goes on my old house becomes clearer and it feels more real each time. last time i had this dream, it was so unbelievably realistic, it felt so true i was completely certain it was real and i woke up completely disoriented. why arent i home?? but we moved back in! it happened it wasnt a dream! even in the dream i told myself it wasnt a dream, that this time it was real.

the white and green checkered floors in the hallway were still cool and nice to lay down on and look at the wall, and the kitchen still has its bright yellow wall paper, and the kitchen cabinets are still painted blue by my mom after she watched bear in the big blue house! i remember when our dog came home with us for the first time and slept under the table. as he grew bigger he’d nibble and lick my ear whenever i laid down on the floor and id giggle until i was out of breath. the living room is still cozy and warm, and the window is big and beautiful as ever. the bathroom is still small and nautical themed, my bedroom is still pink and you can still hear the morning doves singing in the backyard during the warmer seasons. the front yard has a small lamp post painted white with a blue bulb inside to stand out from all the other houses. if i inhale the couch hard enough it smells faintly like vanilla and a rainy breeze because of all the incense we burned over the years. im finally old enough to truly appreciate it

and the backyard still has our big beautiful gazebo with christmas lights lining the ceiling inside. its perfect for having our friends over which we never did enough of. you could see our backyard from our best friends backyard, separated by a few houses. the backyard is still a little dingy, and the basement is quite cold and dusty and the front yard is patchy but im finally old enough to fix it all up, i could be a real house owner. i sit on the stairs in the car port that arent there anymore and i daydream about all the cleaning supplies ill need and how happy i am to be home. i dont know how mom afforded it but she did, and its been waiting for me.

but it doesnt look like this anymore. i went to school with the girl whos family moved in after we were forced to moved out. she invited me inside to show me the changes theyve made. the kitchen walls are dark grey, and the hallway floor tiles have been replaced with light grey floor boards too. our old white chipped fridge covered in family photos has been replaced by a sleek new samsung fridge with an ice dispenser. they have no photos on it because her mom doesnt like it to look “messy”. they tore the wall between the living room and the kitchen down to make it look “bigger” but somehow that made it look smaller. our beautiful blue kitchen cabinets that i used to climb to get chocolate syrup for my milk after school, theyve been replaced with yet another sleek design. theyre just as grey as the rest of it. it reeks of bleach cleaning chemicals. at least they have a puppy. her parents kick me out. im sure the look on my face wasnt hiding much.

my brother and our friend watched in dismay from his backyard, our big beautiful wooden gazebo has fallen on its side. theres a man tearing it apart from the bottom. the yard is too elevated to put a pool or a play place. why would you knock down such a beautiful gazebo? the tool sheds knocked on its side too, and our family cats graves have been dug up and who knows where their boxes went. momo used to lay down over my head to keep me warm as i slept as a toddler, and yorick would follow us on long walks around the neighbourhood. mojo was just a few days old when we covered his box in drawings so he’d remember us. its been about 10 years now, and theres still nothing in the backyard.

the memories start flooding back after a few minutes of being awake. in an apartment thats too small for our family and always dusty no matter how often you clean. but my walls are yellow, and my plants are alive, and ive made it my own. 10 years here and i still feel aimless. close enough to that old house its only a minute away. i walk my old street and look at that old house. do i really want to move back in and relive my childhood? no, cant relive the past. i need to keep going forward. i just want to go home