#i cannot tell the difference between fictional characters and real people

[enfinizatics]

finished reading ‘a difference in the family: the snape chronicles’ and guys, do i have some splendid news to share: my head hurts from crying!!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.

hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.

I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.

"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.

like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.

and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."

and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.

(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)

this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?

my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.

I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.

if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:

[ladyofthehightower]

the fandom made me team green

When I started watching House of The Dragon I had literally no preference for team green or team black, because I didn't know there were teams to pick. I had only ever been a casual Game of Thrones enjoyer, but I recognised Matt Smith from Doctor Who in the trailer and therefore got excited.

I had no knowledge of the plot, no knowledge of any characters or plot points, I didn't even remember that the dance and Rhaenyra had been mentioned in GoT. I wasn't aware of Fire & Blood.

Immediately upon watching I fell in love with the characters of Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightower, without knowledge of what would happen between them. I even tweeted like damn! these girls gay!

to which someone replied... You'll never guess what's about to happen. And I didn't. Alicent marrying Viserys was... not in my cards, but it was clear to me that she was a victim in that situation!

Colour me surprised then when, around episode 2 or 3 of season 1, I joined the fandom for real and found out that everyone HATED Alicent. THIS GIRL??

While I was "neutral" at first, I was absolutely pushed into team green and that side of the fandom seeing how team black was acting on twitter. The way they weaponised real life issues to act like preferring one group of fictional characters makes you morally superior did absolutely not sit right with me.

And when I then realised that oh... this is about the book—at which point I knew that the show and books were clearly telling different stories—I completely lost interest in taking those people seriously. If you cannot separate two clearly different stories then I'm not gonna treat you like an intelligent person, because you're not. If you refuse to do it, then I'm not gonna treat you like an adult, because you're not.

Often I find that team black analysing is based in ignoring character POV's and thinking everyone who isn't on their knees for Rhaenyra is an evil villain with no function except BE EVIL. They claim to be the only ones who understand that HoTD is a story about misogyny, but spew it carelessly about Alicent and Helaena, and about the actors behind those characters!

Takes like this only makes sense if you completely ignore their history (which, as I touched on in my Driftmark post, is an unfortunate trend in this fandom lol) as well as Alicent's perspective in this moment. It simplifies the situation like crazy to make Alicent appear evil. It's boring and just bad, frankly.

I think it goes without saying that there are, of course, weirdos and freaks on both sides of the fandom and that not everyone who likes team black is a fucking loser, nor is everyone who likes team green an intelligent person! In every fandom there will be people who cannot act like grown up people, despite being in their 20s and older.

Anyway. Happy 2025 :)

[ask-postcrash-curly]

❤️‍🩹the blog in chronological order❤️‍🩹

[hi! blog mod here. all in-character posts are tagged #curlyposting. all out of character posts are tagged #modposting.

this blog operates on a queue. the queue changes speeds based on how many asks i’m getting. currently, it’s maxed out at 50 posts a day. your ask will probably take nearly two days to publish.

replies are not canon, but i’ll sometimes jokingly rp in them. curly will sometimes respond to reblogs.

rules, curly’s optional boundaries, and FAQ are under the cut.]

RULES:

you cannot directly affect the world outside curly’s mind. that means you can’t manifest yourself into a physical form, physically interact with curly, or change the future.

you can send curly audial and visual material through links, description, embeds, etc. you cannot manifest physical sensations, taste, or smell (although you can briefly give him a headache through enough caps usage). you cannot affect curly’s real world senses.

curly can tell the difference between what you send him and what’s physically going on around him.

curly typically cannot interact with what you send him. if you send him a video, it will play until the end or until another video starts; he can’t pause it or rewind, can’t click website links, can’t scroll, etc.

curly is not allowed to know the future. you cannot tell or show him specifics, but you can hint at it or tell him vaguely (e.g. “they’re all gonna die curly” in a way where he could plausibly think you’re just being an asshole). if you send a video or picture that contains spoilers but the spoilers are not the focus, those specific parts will be illegible to curly.

curly is not allowed to have definitive proof that he is fictional. if you simply tell him “you’re a video game character” he’ll still respond but he won’t believe you. EDIT: someone found a loophole. curly is now allowed to know that we perceive him as a video game character provided you present it as “we’re from an alternate dimension and in our dimension there’s a game about you” and not as “we’re real and you’re not.”

regarding the previous two: curly is not allowed to watch mouthwashing playthroughs.

sex jokes are fine, but i won’t respond in character to anything that i find too explicit, graphic, or otherwise uncomfortable.

try not to send asks concerning historical events that are happening Right Now.

if i think of anything else i’ll add that!

now onto CURLY’S BOUNDARIES. you do not have to abide by these. EDIT: even curly will barely protest if you break these boundaries. he might not push back at all.

don’t compare him to food, especially meat, or talk about wanting to eat him.

don’t ask him whether he and jimmy are/were/would ever be in a relationship.

you can lightly flirt with him, but he will not reciprocate. if you flirt with him in a more overt or sexual manner, or compliment his current appearance, he will not respond well.

don’t send him things depicting fire or explosions, especially if he’s the one on fire/blowing up, without warning him first.

you can bring it up, but he doesn’t like to think too much about the crash or about pills.

don’t describe ways that the pain could be worse or call his attention to the pain, as this causes him to fixate on these scenarios / struggle to ignore the existing pain.

if you say you are going to touch him in any way, he will likely react badly. the exceptions are if you ask permission or specify that you’re pretending (e.g. “mental hugs”) / would only do it if it didn’t hurt or would do it gently.

don’t use all caps at him. it hurts.

if curly thinks of anything else, which will probably happen since many of you enjoy upsetting him, it will be added.

—

FAQ:

Does Curly have a favorite color?

No, but he used to pretend it was green so people wouldn’t think he was weird. He stole it from Jimmy.

Does Curly like Chappell Roan?

Maybe a little too much.

How is Curly typing?

He isn’t. He’s thinking. You’re voices in his head.

What are Curly’s favorite books / movies / shows / songs?

Favorite books are the Oz, Tom Sawyer, and Narnia books. Favorite movies are the Back to the Future movies and Brokeback Mountain. He doesn’t watch a lot of shows because it’s hard to keep up with them when he’s in space so often. His favorite songs are inconsistent.

Will Curly feed the Curlings?

No.

i hope this hurts ❤️‍🩹

[heliza24]

Complicated Thoughts on Daniel's Turning (or, in defense of disabled vampires)

So I have complicated feelings about Daniel’s turning. The way I feel about it changes every day. Sometimes I don’t mind it, but some days, on days like today when I’ve dealt with a bunch of other ableist bullshit out in the real world, I kind of hate it. Or at least I think I might, depending on how season 3 pans out.

One of the first reasons I fell in love with the show was its inclusion of a disabled character as the main audience surrogate. I’ve already written a lot about what good disabled representation Daniel is, and how including a sick character serves as a foil for the bodily transformation vampires experience and adds to the story. So many of the show’s themes of immortality and grief are thrown into high relief by the inclusion of Daniel as a disabled/chronically ill man.

Interview with the Vampire is a show about trauma and grief, and I found it especially exciting that the show’s refusal to pull any punches extended to addressing the pandemic. The pandemic is a huge source of loss, trauma and grief, especially for disabled people, and Hollywood’s response to that has been to memory hole it as quickly as possible. Most shows, artists and viewers find it too painful to delve back into these sore spots. But Interview with Vampire can’t do that, because the main plot of the show is about a character being “protected” from trauma by having his memories removed. This is a show that wants us to confront our grief in our pain and learn how to move through it.

So you can see how Daniel showing up as a vampire in the very last minutes of season two was a little jarring and initially upsetting to me. Gone are all of those complex explorations of illness and trauma and instead Daniel is almost a completely different character. The fact that this was dropped as basically a tease for the next season, like a Marvel post credits sequence, was what really bothered me. This incredibly important transformation was reduced to a punch line at worst and a “coming next on” at best.

There are a lot of unfortunate tropes that get used almost every time an able bodied writer decides to include a disabled character (and let’s be real, they are always able bodied, because disabled writers do not get hired to show run). One of the most common is the “magical cure“. This happens in almost every example of speculative fiction that includes a disabled character that I can think of. It means that disabled characters are effectively written out of almost every fantasy and science fiction story. There are a lot of problems with this trope. It tells disabled people that they don’t deserve stories that include magic or adventure. It takes away opportunities from disabled actors and means that able bodied actors are cast, and then instructed to “crip up” for the scenes that take place before their cure arrives. (I love Eric’s performance, but it’s not lost on me that he’s an able bodied actor playing a disabled character). There’s the fact that cures are very rarely complete, and most disabled people live in a halfway world of having some access and some treatment that is effective, while they still deal with the physical pain or exclusion that being disabled brings. And there’s no reason that this in betweenness would not extend to treatment available in speculative worlds. Perhaps the worst part of this trope is that it bends to able bodied peoples’ discomfort around this ambiguity. Chronic pain and inaccessibility and reliance on care is sad and scary to a lot of people, and they’d rather not see it. And because of that, they lose out on an opportunity to explore all sorts of themes that only disabled characters can really unlock. Themes about the body, about metamorphosis, about community, and about a hundred other things that us crips understand in a way that someone outside our bodies cannot see in the same way.

So the way that Daniel was presented at the very end of season two was as a complete and total magical cure. He doesn’t have to worry about pandemic anymore, his movement seems a lot easier, and he’s immortal now.

If the show moves forward in this way, without digging deeper into Daniel‘s transformation and perhaps re-examining some vampire lore, it’s going to end up sacrificing some of the themes that made season one and two so great. And it’s going to make me very upset.

However, I think there’s a lot of opportunity for the show to explore Daniel’s transformation with sensitivity and depth. I haven’t talked about Armand yet in this meta, but I love him and I love shipping him with Daniel. My love for Devil’s minion is perhaps the one reason I wasn’t purely angry about Daniel being turned in the way that he was; I do appreciated the way it sets up the show to explore their complicated dynamic. In particular, I’m fascinated by the fact that Armand not only violated his own personal vow never to turn someone, but also violated the great laws when doing so. Daniel breaks the laws in just about every way – he’s written about the history of the vampires, he knows the vampires true identity and has been allowed to live, etc. But the biggest violation is that Daniel is “crippled“ when he’s turned. Now I’ve already written about the way the vampire coven and the great laws espouse eugenics, and I think the show makes it pretty clear that these laws are harmful. The greatest tragedy of the show is Claudia‘s murder. She was killed because according to the coven, she was turned too young. This early turning really had no tangible negative impact on her life as a vampire except in the way that other vampires perceived her. The consequences were all imposed by the coven, who saw her body as wrong and unacceptable. In show canon Armand was also turned when he was sick. Specifically, he had some kind of wasting disease, then made him lose muscle and feel weaker as he came closer to dying. I’ve always maintained the part of the reason that Armand comes down so hard on Claudia is because he projects his own insecurities and weaknesses on her. If he doesn’t eliminate her, someone might recognize how similar they are and question Armand‘s power and authority.

I wonder how much older Daniel’s Parkinson’s reminds Armand of his wasting disease. I wonder if the fact that their vampire eyes are the same color makes Armand think about how similar they are, and about how they are both violators of the Great Laws. I wonder if they ever talk about the ableism inherent in vampire society. I wonder if Armand worries that his transformation of Daniel will be incomplete or botched, because he’s never made one before and because why would there be a prohibition against turning disabled people if there weren’t potential negative consequences? I wonder if sometimes Daniel feels conflicted about leaving behind a body that caused him pain but also shaped him into the person he is, the person that Armand fell in love with (fell in love with again?). I wonder if the show will explore any of these questions with the depth the deserve, or if it will lean fully into a quick and tidy magical cure for Daniel. I really, really hope they do the conversations around Daniel’s turning justice. Because I think in the right hands, a script that explores these issues could be transcendent. These are all themes that the show has already been exploring, and it would be a downright shame to fumble the opportunity to deepen the storytelling around bodily difference, eugenics, grief and change at the final hurdle.

If I were writing on the show, I would lobby hard to have Daniel still retain some symptoms of Parkinson’s even after he’s turned. I know that Daniel will be an unusually powerful fledgling, because he’s Armand‘s only and Armand is very powerful and old. But disability does not preclude power. Daniel should have extraordinary vampire instincts, and power – we’ve already seen him master long distance telepathy quite early, and he could have access to other gifts as a young vampire too. But he could be doing all those things while still sometimes having tremors or fatigue or experiencing the ghosts of old pain. What an interesting way to add complexity to a loud and brash new fledgling.

In general, I want to make the case for disabled vampires. Anne Rice was immensely talented but also immensely ableist. But that doesn’t mean we have to be too. We can take her world and make it more colorful and diverse, just as the show has already begun to do. And let me tell you, there is no group of people more prepared to become vampires than disabled people. We’ve already had to adapt to bodies that act in unruly ways. We’ve already had to cope with being outcasts in society. And those of us with chronic pain (I include myself here) have a more similar relationship to pain and bodies to vampires than to most other humans. Vampires spend a lot of time being afraid of pain; since they are immortal, it’s the next biggest threat after death. Not a lot of people experience pain in this way, as totally separate from a mortal threat on their life. But I do, because even on days when I am in blinding, horrendous pain, it is in no danger of killing me. Its only consequence is the toll it takes on my mind and spirit. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone more prepared to weather the uncertainty and the pain and the brutality of living forever than disabled people. And I would absolutely love to see a disabled vampire in action on my screen.

As we move into season three, and into Lestat’s rockstar career, we’re going to necessarily leave behind the world that is still concerned about the pandemic. Rock venues and musicians in the real world have abandoned any kind of Covid precautions and no longer care if their concerts are super spreaders. Lestat doesn’t strike me as someone particularly concerned with the health of mortals, so I’m sure he’ll be the same. So I hope in order to balance that out, the show does make a deliberate attempt to continue exploring disability through Daniel. I guess they might also weave the pandemic into the Great Convergence and whatever they’ve got cooking for Those Who Must Be Kept since those things were mentioned together and season one, and I would also be excited to see that.

In the meantime, I’m going to be writing a fic that explores Daniel’s turning in a way that delves into all of the questions I asked earlier about the intersections of disability, eugenics, and vampirism. I would love if you read the first chapter and subscribed. I would also love if you included disability in your discussions about the show, and especially about baby vamp Daniel. I can only hope that the writers will follow our example!

[anonymousredactedconfessions]

Let's have a talk, shall we?

Major Trigger Warning for rape, false accusations, and mentions of child sex crimes

I let you guys get away with a lot of shit. I let you be a little bitter, or mean spirited, or pissed off. I let you guys vent and let out grievances and complain for the sake of complaining. And i do all of this because it is important to have a space that you can do so without fear of judgement, it is unhealthy for you to bottle up negative emotions. I provide this in a public space because with the way this fandom is, if I didn't many of you would be pressured into not doing so at all. This fandom has a habit of ostracizing those who have differing opinions and interpretations, those who wish to critique the art they consume, those who have unpopular opinions, and all of it is done with the utmost aggression and vitriol. The things that have been said to some of the people in this fandom genuinely makes me lose faith in humanity if i think about it too hard.

This blog exists explicitly to counteract that. I refuse to encourage or enable it. What you are doing is actively dangerous, and I won't be having it in the space I curate within this fandom.

If you haven't noticed, this is one of my rules:

It means that you are not allowed to come in my inbox and accuse people of serious harm over this fiction.

You will not come and accuse people of something as egregious as rape apologia in my inbox. You will not accuse people of rape, abuse, assault, or child abuse/rape/exploitation in my inbox.

These are serious real world issues, and the reason they are bad is because they cause direct harm to real living people who can feel pain and can be violated. Your disgust holds absolutely no ethical weight. At All. You should have the mental, emotional, and intellectual capability to understand the ethical difference between allegories for rape, stories with/about rape, erotica of rape, and actual real life people being raped. Making accusations of this weight over make believe is abhorrent, and as a matter of fact, it shows that you don't treat these tragedies with the weight or gravity that they deserve. If you believe that it is appropriate to accuse someone of violating another person like so because of the creation of or opinions about art, then you have some serious learning and growing to do as a person if you wish to navigate these topics with any level of maturity or respect towards victims.

There is no good that comes out of accusations such as these. They only ever serve to:

Demonstrate to victims that the tragedy of their abuse is as trivial as fanfiction/art that you deem nasty (but is ultimately ethical), or even something as inconsequential as someones' love for a fictional character.

Shame those who love these characters, or this art, or creating, into hiding their opinions for fear of harassment and serious accusations when they have done zero harm by enjoying it.

Stifle creation and participation in fandoms.

Limit the spread of ideas, interpretations, critique/criticism, and general opinions in the fandom, which just turns fandoms into boring echo chambers devoid of variety and creativity.

Encourage actual censorship and moral policing. (More on that on this reblog by @escapedaudios on a post of mine. Thank you Escaped for your two cents, they are much appreciated 💖)

Spread the incredibly harmful idea that people are defined by the art they enjoy. You cannot accurately judge a person’s values or morals based on what tropes and themes they enjoy in fiction. You create an environment and culture incredibly dangerous for vulnerable individuals (like minors) when you tell them that they can know who is safe to trust based on whether they consume "the good kind" or "the bad kind" of fiction. This makes it so very easy for predators to virtue signal about fiction to lure in potential victims to abuse.

The majority of you are very good and well behaved when it comes to this, but the amount of people i have had come into my inbox and accuse others of being rapists with no evidence other than "they made X" or "they like Y" is not zero. And i will not be satisfied until it is.

This is all i have to say about the subject.

[darklinaforever]

I don't understand some people's obsession with the age difference between Edwin and the Cat King.

Yes, Edwin is a perennial 16 year old.

But the Cat King isn't even human. He is literally a cat deity. And as someone @jaks21 pointed out to me in the comments, the Cat King has the overall behavior of a cat : "I think it's also being forgotten that the cat king isn't human. He can shift into human form, but he is essentially a cat. This is all cat behavior. They have absolutely no sense of personal space (unless it's their own), they like the thrill of the hunt and they like to play."

Soon people will talk to me about zoophilia maybe ?

Beyond that, the Cat King's behavior seems to be quite immature most of the time as well.

So why are people absolutely trying to categorize him as a straight-up adult when he's not a human being ? Who tells you that his brain works like a human's ? Who tells you he's not a baby compared to other supernatural beings ?

It's all well and good to judge Edwin for his reality on the show, but give the same courtesy to the Cat King in this case, otherwise it just seems designed to unnecessarily lower the ship.

Also, if we want to speak realistically... since the Catwin plot revolves around Edwin finally coming to terms with his sexual orientation through his attraction to the Cat King (even if we know that there is also an important emotional context involved ) well it seems to me that Edwin is exactly the age of consent required for sexual relations, namely 16 years old.

Sexual maturity is not the same as legal age making you an adult and I feel like people often confuse the two.

I also find it paradoxical to say that Edwin, who lived more than a century, is judged as not being able to date an almost immortal divinity (because yes, one day the Cat King will no longer have his 9 lives and will therefore die for of good) clearly outside human norms because he happens to be a Cat King and not having at all the behavior of an human adult, or even of a real human, under the pretext that Edwin has his brain blocked at age 16 years old.

But many people will also say that Edward in Twilight cannot love Bella, a teenager, on the pretext that he has lived several centuries due to being a vampire, even if this type of vampire in this universe mentally stops evolving at the age where they were transformed, making Edwin an eternal teenager of 17 years old. Yet he is considered disgusting for wanting to be with a human teenager of almost the same age mentally ?(Be careful, I'm not saying that Twilight is an excellent and brilliant story, I'm just talking about the context of the age difference between the protagonists and the ridiculous discourse around it)

The battles over the age difference in fiction featuring supernatural beings are almost never consistent. And for good reason, I find it useless !

Because most of the time, the supernatural creature does not meet human standards in order to be associated with the younger person (at least if this person is actually younger, in the term of non-majority, because otherwise, as long as everyone is an adult we don't care). Or if it is not the creature that follows a particular pattern, we are for example transported into a universe inspired by a particular era, where the legal age is then different.

So, we must stop judging imaginary beings as if they were human adults, it makes no sense.

Yes. Edwin has been a 16 year old ghost for a very long time and technically cannot mature beyond this age. Tragic. But in the show, which is not the comics, it doesn't really matter. Edwin remains a character with an arc and evolution. So he has undeniably experienced things as a ghost that allow him to change and evolve in his own way.

Of course, it can be confusing, but Edwin's case aside, the Cat King does not meet human standards. And he clearly doesn't behave like a human. Even less that of an adult human. So stop judging him as such.

Essentially the Cat King resembles in his behavior a mixture of... well, a cat, since that's what he is, and a form of immature teenager.

That the Cat King is older than Edwin doesn't matter if he doesn't have a maturity greater than Edwin.

Once again, the Cat King clearly doesn't have the mentality or maturity of most healthy adults of our world. So why absolutely try to judge him as such ? Again, that doesn't make sense.

The Cat King is a being to be judged outside of our realistic standards.

Plus, being uncomfortable with the Cat King & Edwin relationship because Edwin is 16... seems ridiculous again.

Although I would love for the show to make Catwin canon in the future I doubt that will be the case (but good if it happens !), as things stand the Cat King only seemed to be a tool to allow Edwin to open up a little more about himself, in particular about accepting his sexuality, even if not only that. So, since the sexual aspect is very much emphasized in this relationship, it must be taken into account. And Edwin is a 16 year old teenager. Not only do adolescents inevitably have a period of trouble linked to sex, but in fiction the treatment of sexuality is sometimes done through a creature outside the norms of reality, therefore fanciful, often morally dubious.

It’s a classic trope in the world of fiction !

And if that makes you uncomfortable... well I don't know what to do for you.

Again, as I said before, Edwin is of the required age of consent in terms of sexual relations.

So how does it shock you to see someone old enough to explore their sexuality find themselves in a sexuality-related scenario with the classic trope of a fantasy creature to do so ?

This kind of controversy is beyond me! We're talking about fictional characters of a supernatural nature !

[sky-forest-inn]

i dont really know anything abt systems and i am not one myself

i was under the assumption that the . formation??? of a system can only occur due to childhood trauma but past that point anything goes.

that's probably wrong but idk where to get actual information on this bc i genuinely know nothing

Welcome to systemhood which is the most under-researched thing ever. It can be formed in many different was, most commonly from childhood trauma. Due to how under researched systems are, it’s certainly difficult to find info of them. Your best bet is just learning from systems themselves and their personal experiences. It’s different for ALL systems, so you cant rely solely on One (1) system to tell you the info. I’ll share what I know though!!

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL IN ANY WAY AT ALL, I AM JUST SHARING KNOWLEDGE IVE BEEN GIVEN THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF FIVE YEARS OF RESEARCHING AND LEARNING!!! Anyone (in GOOD FAITH) is free to correct me if i say anything wrong. I am on mobile (and only just woke up) so i cant provide real evidence as im speaking

(Didn’t expect to say so much but i did to the point i need a Read More bracket OOPS lmao)

The most well known systems as of now are CDD (complex dissociative disorder) systems, such as DID (dissociative identity disorder), OSDD (other specified identity disorder) and one other i cannot remember the name for. These ones are frequently (NOT ALWAYS) formed from trauma, typically at a young age and often repetitive or severe

At a very young age, your brain is often split in several parts as it is developing. Often why children tend to switch moods very quickly. As you grow up, your brain slowly pieces itself together into your true personality, however, trauma can cause your brain to remain fragmented, leaving those fragments into being parts/alters/headmates. This is a coping mechanism created by the brain so certain parts can handle unsafe situations

Aside from CDDs, there’s two terms, traumagenic and endogenic. Traumagenic is self explanatory and CDDs will typically fall under there. Endogenic is a umbrella term of MANY formations of systemhod. Spiritual, natural (it just happened some day), willogenic (willed into existence on purpose) and so much more. Some can be both, traumaendo, mixed-origin etc! CDDs can even be endogenic in some way too :]

You can have a trauma formed system, but also have willogenic headmates! You can have a naturally formed system, but also have trauma formed headmates! Hell, some systems will not even know their origin and that’s okay!!!! You do not need a label for your system!!

Both terms were coined by a traumagenic system i believe??? Who is also pro-endogenic, so anyone who is antiendo using those terms, do remember that (:3

——————————————

Alters/headmates/parts can be different just as much as systems can be. Some can just be emotional states, some can be voices, some can be fragments, some can be completely unique and (mostly) complete individuals. Even in one system alone, alters can differ between all of these! Some systems can only have 2 headmates, some have some between 10-30, some can have 100+, some can even have 1000+

There are also alters that are called introjects, who are formed from a certain someone/something (very often out of their control). They can be a factive (formed from a real life person), fictive (formed from a fictional character), songtive (formed from a song) and soooo much more!!! Some can even be mixed, some can have more than one source!

A common misconception is that introjects will form from comforting sources, or sources the system holds really closely, but quite a lot of systems actually have introjects from things they hate, or hell, are even triggered by. Introjects are very often formed from things they dont want to be formed from, and do not act the exact same way as their sources

Proof? We have a fictive of a shapeshifter from an among us series. Source is a heartless and evil killer who manipulates people. Our fictive though? Genuine sweetheart, often shy and anxious but loves her sourcemates so very much! Hell, Juli (💎) is with me right now and is a good example. Her source (julian arcane odyssey) is a genuine asshole with extremely high ego and brags to hell and back about his accomplishments. Juli here is just a girl trying to live and play games while being silly with her QPP and her friends!

That being said though, some introjects WILL act almost exactly like their sources, and this is okay!!! Even those split from absolute asshole of a person. Systemhood is often a part of healing, and that includes from individual headmates too. Recovery is different for all headmates and systems and it’s best to let them figure out how they should handle their struggles and the such

——————————————

Systemhood is extremely complex, it differs from system to system, and headmate to headmate. Some prefer plural or collective, some prefer parts, headmates, alters, personalities. Some CDDs will even prefer MPD (multiple personality disorder) [known to being an outdated term] instead of DID or OSDD and that’s okay!!

Everyone will have divided opinions over how systemhood works, but the MOST IMPORTANT thing to understand is, it’s NEVER black and white, there will ALWAYS be nuance, and honestly my #1 thing to remember is: if it’s in good faith, live and let live

Sharing terminology isn’t stealing. Sharing resources isn’t stealing. It’s called SHARING, and everyone deserves resources that can help understand themselves better and live an easier and better life. It’s good to interact with a diverse amount of systems, to share different perspectives, to understand each other, and show compassion and support for one another

It’s why, while i can understand many systems wishing for seperate spaces, it’s also good to share some spaces once a while. You don’t HAVE TO be in shared spaces, but i feel as though it will genuinely help in the long run. But as always, live and let live, and do what you feel is safe for you so long as it’s not harming anyone else

——————————————

With that aside, we ourselves are an OSDD-1b system! While we’re not safe sharing our trauma, i (💛aristris) am one of the trauma holders for some of our worst years of our life. While many CDDs typically experience memory amnesia/barriers, we don’t. Instead, memory is perceived differently from headmate to headmate. Many will remember my trauma more vaguely, fuzzy or blurry (but still remember them happening), while I can remember it clear as day, almost as though it only happened last week.

We often experience emotional amnesia more. One fronter will be absolutely pissed off upset, another fronter takes over while they cool off and can be the chillest and sweetest person ever. We tend to act really “mood swingy” because of this, especially when unmasked

We’ve recently surpassed 100 headmates lately, and we’re incredibly diverse in terms of such. Majority of us are mostly formed, though some are still fragmented or hard to see/communicate with. We’ve grown to enjoy each others’ company, though we still have a few bad apples we have to keep an eye on

Our fronting style can actually differ and never sticks to one method. Sometimes it feels like the clap of a hand switch, sometimes we meld into each other a bit before one takes over, very often we can see each other in frontspace and take turns (though that often causes a headache)

We have like two outer brainspaces. One’s our headspace which consists of a copy of the Upturned Inn from The Upturned and a pretty forest beside it, and the other is… the void. But we dont talk about that!!!

Our headspace memories actually tend to be really vague upon joining front. Some remember headspace memories better than others. And sometimes front memories can get really blurred upon joining. Our headmates have to wait quite a bit for our memory to relog and catch up with us, hah

We’ve known about systems for five whole years now, and two and a half of those years, we denied ourselves ENTIRELY. We were constantly surrounded by gatekeepy systems who were antiendo and would lose their shit over a system having even a Slightly Different experience than they do. Hell, weve seen COUNTLESS CALLOUT POSTS just for suspected sysfaking. It was a dangerous space for us and because of it, we refused to ever accept the idea we were a system

After all that time, we met who is now our partner system, the Lucky Clover Collective, who were the first ever pro-endo traumagenic (or mixed origin) system we ever met. We got to comfortably discuss systemhood, including endogenic systems, and they gave us the space we needed to at least give systemhood a go. In almost 2 weeks, it will be the first year anniversary of when we finally embraced our systemhood!!

Systemhood has a hell lot of struggles. Trauma relapses, headaches, difficult headmates, emotional disregulation, but we’d never trade our systemhood for anything in the world. This system has saved us so many times, made us feel safer and embrace ourselves for who we are easier. I used to hate everyone here, being a former persecutor, but ive learnt to love my headmates as much as they love me and i couldnt be happier with how we grew finally embracing systemhood

… i hope all thats shares enough!! haha, sorry i yapped so much, i think i may have gotten overly passionate, hah. I hope you can learn from this and from many others too, and most importantly, take care of yourself!!! Thanks for reading lol

[elllteo]

gonna be real seeing you boil down someone else's concerns abt making light of a rapist in media as fandom drama really hurts as someone who's experienced that kind of violence first hand. the character is fictional and obviously doesnt exist. but rape victims do exist and we see when people sexualize or joke about predators. idk. i don't intend to tell you what to do, but i hope this helps maybe explain why someone else could've been startled or upset to see that on your blog. its your space you can do what you want with it. i think some media doesn't need to be fandomized or treated as yaoi fodder. maybe it can just be taken seriously and discussed with respect. i think its pretty reasonable for victims of particular types of violence to express discomfort or concern when people joke about or make light of those who perpetrate it.

I genuinely get where you are coming from, I do. But what that ask was getting at did not convey to me what you seem to have taken from it.

There's a difference between making light of/mocking/making jokes about sexual assault/rape vs drawing a character who does those things in a narrative in an unserious way. Likewise, I feel that boiling down the narrative to just be about that One Act in many, many ways does a disservice to the narrative and characters as a whole.

I'm also not understanding where exactly this is coming from, to be entirely honest.

A person can be fully capable of breaking down and analyzing Jimmy in a way that is entirely respectful while still, also, making light of other aspects or enjoying him removed from that context. Drawing a character in a goofy way doesn't mean the person is making light of Anya's SA, or even excusing it. You can ship two characters while still finding the canon actions of one absolutely despicable. These things are not mutually exclusive!

Just as you're not telling me what to do, I'm not saying you, or that other anon, or anyone else has to put up with seeing that character or engaging with media that portrays him that way, to be clear. I'm not trying to tell you that your feelings or hurt or experiences aren't valid, they clearly and very much are.

But it's not my job, or even obligation, to protect you from it. Or any other trigger, for that matter. I do what I can with tags, but that's a courtesy I try to apply when and where I can.

That's what I'm getting at here. I tagged for him and that ship so others could avoid it if they found it upsetting. The anon did not do that, so I explained my stance.

People will engage with media in ways that are upsetting to you, or ways that even disgust you. I can't stop them, I make no plans to, and if my opinions or behaviors around this are upsetting or disappointing to you, if I endanger you or anyone by behaving this way, it is in your best interest to block me and have a safer and less stressful experience online. Those tools are readily available for that very reason.

I know far too many others who have also experienced that kind of violence, family included. I know the frustration and hurt of making light of that kind of thing, and how it can and does impact others.

But this is not that.

If, however, you feel it is, that's your right! I can't tell you how to engage with anything, nor do I intend to. I cannot change my space to fit your needs, and I'm genuinely sorry if that makes you feel unsafe or upset. I'm not trying to make light SA or the victims thereof.

I'm trying to, as best as I can, explain that policing how others engage with a fandom and its characters simply does not and cannot work. That isn't "fandom drama" - it's the psychology of humans and the media they connect with. Humans are complicated creatures, and our needs and interests vary wildly.

There is no monolithic way to demand others engage with a source material, and attempting to do so does more harm to you than that effort is worth. I hope you and that other anon can have a less upsetting day/night/etc - again, I'm sorry if this is frustrating to hear, but I fear this is an impasse we simply won't agree on in this way.

[lordfreg]

Hi genuine just question here

As a fellow selfshipper, idk if this makes me a hypocrite, too emotional or both but is it normal to feel a bit,,,idk hurt when you see your fav character get shipped with someone else?? /gen q

Im not doing this to hate on you i love you art and your sona is adorable, but i just didn't know who else is ask ig sorry for bothering 😅

awwww thanks!!!! also thabk you for asking ME of all people but I'm here to help!

Of course it's not hypocritical or too sensitive to see another ship (in my case head cannoned "incorrectly"/misrepresented)

It's completely normal! In fact, your brain literally cannot tell the difference between fictional characters and real people, and seeing them paired with someone else evokes the same feelings of jealousy and heartbreak as someone actually cheating on you.

there's absolutely no wrong way to feel about your f/o (fictional other) and there's absolutely no wrong way to express that.

Here's a way I've learned to cope with other self ships, and things; it's like spiderverse, each person's head cannons/ship/insert/au/whatever creates a new reality for that universe, spawning new versions of the characters. Your f/o and this other person's ship aren't the same person, because in this universe (your au/self insert) they love YOU, nobody else.

Example, my small meme art for thesweaterrat, it was just my way of coping with the fact that we're both Donnie simps. They're different donnies; stylily, culturally and even in height

I even used different brushes for them!

The point is, that in every other universe, your f/o is someone else, and in that 1/1000th chance, they found you. And that's absolutely beautiful

denture to talk about my issues for a moment⬇️

There might be things that you genuinely don't like about your f/o, but changing that makes them a different person. For me it's Donnie and lying, it makes me angry that he can't lie well, but if I were to change that then I would change him

When I see Donnie misrepresented or acting a way I know he wouldn't, it puts me off, and I typically avoid Donnie content on tumblr for that reason.

Of course I'm happy to support any and all self shippers (NOT THE WEIRD ONES 💢💢💢), but there is a lingering tad of uncomfortabness and jealousy.

Even I have a hard time sticking to my 'spiderverse' thing because some people present their head cannons like the truth and I just

It just sort of upsets me but that's just me

ANYWAY thank you for reading this!!!! >_< if you have any s/is or sonas I'd love to see them!!! Here's some things for banners/master post stuff

(Self shipping pride flag)

okay byeeeeee :3

[kristybear2001]

So I know I'm not the only person out there attracted to a ninja turtle. I know there's lots of other people like that out there. I guess I just feel a little self conscious. As if it's not normal. And like I get it, most people would think it's weird. I guess what I'm asking is, is it weird that I'm attracted to a ninja turtle? It's more than physical attraction. When I have feelings for someone, it's attraction to their personality as well as physically. And fictional characters are made to feel real. Also, scientifically, our brains cannot tell the difference between fictional character and real person. Like we know they're not real, but also our brain chemistry is sending the signal that these fictional characters are real, and therefore, our feelings are real. It's complicated. Basically we know they aren't real but also we don't know. I can't be only physically attracted to someone. In order for me to be physically attracted, I also have to be emotionally attracted. I'm definitely emotionally and physically attracted to a ninja turtle. If this doesn't make sense or I'm too weird just ignore me. I just wanna know if I'm crazy or not because a lot of my family is seriously weirded out and I'm debating just not telling them my preferences. Again, ignore me if I'm too weird or unconventional. Just looking for some validation I guess

[olderthannetfic]

I am not American so this an actual question: Why do people never use those American names in writing? Kayleigh, Keinleigh, or Lakesha, Shalissa? Saw those names on real people, but no one in America uses names like that in stories? And apparently for the latter names it's racist as well, but those names are actually names people have! So what gives?

--

People absolutely use those names in writing.

White Mormons writing boring het romance novels use ones like the first two all the time.

Really, I cannot emphasize enough how annoying romance novel names are to me. The reason I wouldn't name a character these names is that they look stupid.

I also associate them with demographics of white people I rarely write about.

In fic, you'll see the occasional OFC mary sue badfic with a lead with a name like this. It just depends on the author's own milieu and what names they consider normal.

--

The latter two sound like black people from the city. If you know enough to write black people from the city, great. Much of fanfic fandom is either too white or too suburban, and US media is not kind to such characters, so there's not a lot of incentive to use such names in fanfic.

Publishing overall is very racist and so are book-buying audiences, so a lead named Lakesha will not sell well unless positioned just right. Or at least that's the theory. But it's a theory that affects what mainstream US books you're probably hearing about.

When I've lived in places with black-focused bookstores, I've occasionally run across trashy fiction for a black, urban market, usually from small indie presses that cater to a black audience. Those authors know what they're talking about and will certainly name their characters names that make sense for the setting.

For me personally, it would be hard to tell the difference between an actual name and a racist parody name someone made up. I can tell when a name "sounds black", but that's not enough knowledge to pick a name correctly.

The black people I know offline mostly do not have names like this. I think it's because they're relatively rich, live in relatively non-black areas, and face a lot of pressure to pick names white people find more comfortable. Having a "whiter" name on job applications gets you interviews you will not get with a "black" name both because of racism and classism. A lot of it is probably also regional.

If I wanted to name a character, I'd do some research and choose a relatively common name with its most common spelling for safety. 'Lakesha' can be spelled that way or 'Lakeesha', 'Lakeisha', Lakisha, or Laquisha, among others. This one's, what, Arabic originally? That and Swahili seem to be the ultimate origins of a lot of names we associate with urban black communities. There are plenty of patterns here: I just don't know what they are.

--

Basically, naming characters requires a metric fuckton of sociological knowledge and just being American isn't enough to know about every demographic in the US.

Research is perfectly possible. People do it all the time for naming characters. It's just more work than picking a type of name you already know a lot about.

And on top of that, names sometimes tell you race, class, region, etc. and people may not be writing characters for whom these names make sense.

[utilitycaster]

Hey! Because I have seen various, various, various takes on Ashton’s actions in ep77– both on twitter (whew) and on here— and I am loving all of the different perspectives on it, I was wondering what your opinion was on the take that Ashton may have manipulated Fearne in the conversation they both had right before absorbing the shard.

Personally, I feel like it may be a bit more complicated than that, but I still don’t know.

Hey!

I think this post I made sums it up. It's not. Ashton tells Fearne precisely what they intend to do. He then does it. Fearne has the opportunity to refuse this request, or to tell the rest of Bells Hells, and she chooses not to. Yes, he compliments her and tells her that he trusts her to do the right thing when most wouldn't. Laudna asks Imogen to kill her if Delilah takes over in virtually the same exact language earlier than episode, and I don't think that's manipulative either:

Laudna to Imogen: And if anything happens and I become her little puppet, I trust you to make the right choice. (Implication this is a request for a mercy killing in the context of Delilah and Laudna's lives being inseparable; is understood as such by Imogen as demonstrated from her response and her later scene in the temple)

Ashton to Fearne: Things are going to happen, and I trust you to help me make the right decision, and I hope you trust me to help make the right decision.

The fact one is being brought up and not the other really points out that the Twitter talks out their collective ass ten times more often than they do their collective mouth; and the fact that they cannot distinguish "put Fearne in a somewhat uncomfortable position" from manipulation really points out that touching grass is not enough; they need to develop meaningful relationships with a wide variety of people in the real world.

Going along with a friend's stupid-ass decision that they encouraged you to join in and immediately regretting it is not, in fact, manipulation; it's your friend at most being kind of a dick and you exercising your agency to make your own stupid-ass decisions. It would have been wiser and nicer of Ashton to ask the party who wanted to take the shard, sure, but Fearne actively agrees with them that they should get it, and Ashton is not really defined by wisdom and being nice, and also, the above would be way more boring.

I don't want to go into this because it's a massive out-of-scope rant not limited to this particular situation, and I'd like to drag my sleep schedule back into a reasonable place tonight, but I think a lot of the more rancid discourse, whatever it may be but especially about interpersonal relationships between characters, arises for the following reasons, and I have little patience for any of them.

Thinking the only way to be a Good Person is to use 2023-approved therapy speak (and, frankly, frequently 2023 Rando on Tiktok claiming expertise who is actually a freshman psych students with no friends and a D average approved "therapy speak")

Relatedly, an all-consuming fear of any conflict, fictional, real, or otherwise, and the accompanying lack of any conflict resolution skills; this is also why they think this is manipulative, because if Fearne said no, that would be Conflict which is bad so positioning someone where conflict might be required for them to express themselves must be evil.

The genuine belief that you can only understand someone if you get everything right on the first try; either you read their mind perfectly or you have failed and are probably a manipulator or abuser for potentially leading to misunderstandings which lead to conflict which, as we see from the above point, is evil.

A refusal to admit that sometimes people are merely 1. assholes or 2. stupid. I frequently talk about opinions I cannot stand, and I almost as frequently get questions about how this opinion is problematic, and the vast majority of the time? It's not. I think it says something quite worrying, actually, that people are more comfortable and even eager to assume that a stranger is hateful or bigoted rather than merely inconsiderate or not that bright. Ashton made a poorly informed decision and made Fearne party to it. It was dumb and it wasn't really nice. That's literally it.

Anyway here's the five geek social fallacies; I recommend reading any Twitter Take(TM) and deciding how many of them they are applying to the narrative, cast, and fandom. See if you can get a full house.

(also upon re-reading this I'm pretty brusque and I promise it's not directed at you; I just genuinely think that the majority of the Twitter fandom, and certainly the loudest voices thereof, are so stupid a Detect Thoughts spell on them would fail on the basis of intelligence alone and the fact that their takes gain traction baffles and infuriates me)

[banamine-bananime]

So the thing about restoration is that it’s so absolutely terrible. And the thing about seasons 15-17 is they’re such a mixed bag of really good and completely fucking whiffing it. And the thing about me is my ability to live in my own reality of “what if this was good” is frankly concerning.

And in my reality of “what if this was good” I’m actually really really enjoying restoration. I like it in exactly the same way that I like the homestuck epilogues and HS^2. The difference is that the hs epilogues INTENTIONALLY do this whole “as a sequel to our metatextual romp through the idea of the bildungsroman wherein our heroes beat the narrative by literally escaping it so we cannot ever see what Canonically Happens to them afterwards, let’s have a metatextual romp through the idea of Canon as Reality, its ‘three pillars of relevance, essentiality, and truth’, how this works with the concept of fanfiction and what fanfiction means to people and the characters, with so much playful ribbing of many Types and Tropes of Fanfic but it’s out of love for what fanfiction means, how people love these characters and story so much they’ve taken them and changed them because to be loved is to be changed, and really who can say what’s Real? these are each one possible post-canon reality, and there are parts that are OOC as fuck to most people but to someone, this was the reality of the characters, this is what they meant to them and they had a story to tell using it that was meaningful and real for that author”.

Whereas the reason I like 15-19 conceptually is basically the same theme but it was fucking not even a little bit what RT was trying to do. It feels so satisfying to have them as epsilon simulations for me. That isn’t a “fuck these seasons they’re all Fake” thing. They are real they’re just only in epsilon’s reality. He loved the reds and blues so much he wants to ruminate over and over on what they might do and play with them like dolls and he’s got the terminally human condition of being a projecting unreliable narrator who needs to deal with his own trauma and Issues through stories and proxies. (he’s just like us fr fr).

As much as epsilon, like any person forming a perception of others and like any fanfiction writer, has his own uniquely flawed subjective reality, there are going to be so many overlaps between all our flawed subjective realities and models of the people, fictional and real, that we love. So there are aspects of the simulations that are Really Real. But it’s a choose your own adventure which aspects those are. What’s real for you?

[momentsofamberclarity]

don't call me nonnie.

i know that not all proshipping is sexual, but it's still portraying pedophilia/incest positively

the bullet point lists were because i just wanted to separate each sentence into a different point because they were all sort off disconnected

the "they're just pixels" argument doesn't work because every single thing you see on a screen is a bunch of pixels if you zoom in, with that logic every image posted online is "just pixels", including actual csem

Fine, I won't call you that. But riddle me this, anon; why am I showing you more respect than you're showing me? Why have you told me to go fuck myself multiple times in place of having a discussion?

Here's the thing ... the only way you will find csem is if you go looking for it. You are not going to find csem on tumblr because it would break community guidelines. But fictional characters under the age of 18 do not count as csem and numerous child protection services have stated that those are just art.

Likewise, the only way you're gonna find fanfiction of 'kids being raped' as you keep putting it, is if you're trying to be a white knight and seek those writers out purposefully so that you can harass them like you're doing with me. Because most of the proshippers I know tag their stuff so that it can be found by the target audience and blacklisted by the people who don't want to see it.

And here's the thing about proshipping which I think is the biggest hurtle of the anti community. Proship doesn't mean 'I support active sexual predators hurting real living children'. 'Pedophile' as a term is meaningless at this point because everyone on the internet uses it to describe anyone they disagree with. You're better off using predator and paraphile. Predators are the dangerous people who don't give a shit about fiction because they have full-intent to harm others. But the majority of paraphiles? They're no-contact and/or fiction-only on their paraphilias, or they do consenting adult things with their consenting adult partners that are roleplaying with boundaries set in place for a reason.

I've been on the internet since before the term 'proship' even popped up. Back before that we called it Dead Dove, Don't Eat and Don't Like, Don't Look. 'Proship' as a term has the same meaning as those old ones, it's just shorthand. It means 'I support the rights of others to ship whatever they want in their own space regardless of whether or not I like or condone it because I don't know them and it does not involve me'. You don't like the content? You have a block button and you are encouraged to use it to curate your own online experience just like the artists and authors posting that content are.

The fact that you're still here means you're hearing some of what I'm saying and possibly having a hard time coming to terms with it. Believe me, I went through a period of morality crisis between my bpd and ocd telling me that fiction could affect reality and I thought that thinking bad things ( like intrusive thoughts ) made me a Bad Person. But thoughts are just thoughts.

So if you want to come off anon and actually have a conversation with me, I promise I'm not going to name-drop you. The purpose of this blog has only ever been about clearing up misconceptions about proshippers and paraphiles because I used to be uninformed about those topics myself until my partner and another super close friend explained them to me in a way that I could comprehend. And that is that thought crime doesn't exist. And fictional characters don't have autonomy and therefore cannot be abused by your thoughts, your art, your writing, etc.

But if we did away with fictional expression of paraphilias in a healthy artistic manner ( like KOSA is currently trying to do ), the world would be a more dangerous place for potential victims, because paraphiles and predators are always going to exist whether you choose to accept that or not. My own abusers never faced charges, only one of my partners' abusers is rotting in jail, and that is the reality of this fucked up world that we're living in. People with niche fetishes aren't monsters - most are even too embarrassed to talk about them. Active sexual predators online who hop into the DMs of minors to be creeps are a real world problem. And that has nothing to do with the proship community's philosophy of 'ship and let ship'.

[wackyscreamswithraisin]

Indefinite Hiatus and Clearing the air BIG TW ON //PERSONAL

Before I say anything this is the fanfic summary: It’s/ it was revolving around Raisin and Malcom (and Hamilton) from the Smart Talk With Raisin short, somehow stealing a meta cartoon remote from the, inaccessible to them; Cartoon Network ‘toonworld’ (like when you see the characters crossover in CN bumpers). They’d watch Courage the Cowardly Dog on their tv in their room like a comfort, but with the remote they start meddling with the character’s awareness of meta for entertainment - and when Barbara accidentally fuses with a glitched artefact, she is unable to be reverted to normal and she breaks the constructs of her own minor characterdom to try and track them down. The fic idea has changed a lot over the years but that’s what it (currently) has changed to. It’s rather Pibby adjacent and would focus on a lot of what’s changed about cartoons between every half decade - yeah it’s very complicated and over the top lol.

I know y’all are sick of me making these long ass walls of texts instead of proper content and I’m really sorry I keep pulling this 💀. I was going to make a nicer pinned posts] of explanation but since this blog is in a confusing place at the moment I just decided to do it quick instead so I don’t put it off.

For those who don’t want to read the full thing: TLDR,

1. I have personal attachment to Fred that has probably affected my judgement

2. My thoughts on Fred as schizophrenic rep is certainly not universal and the partial embarrassment about writing content revolving around him continues to catch up with me

3. The related problems below are reason why I have been so adverse to seeing Fred as being a r-pist m—-ster or SA’er

And 4. I’m starting to accept that it’s not that deep if my fanfic never gets told. Even if it would make me happy, it’s not the end of my work or me if I don’t. Nevertheless I hope you all understand and I’m sorry for any disappointment.

On the personal issue: First, bc some might not know, I am mentally ill and have had a vague diagnosis of psychosis for years that was never fully decided and that I understand now and abridge as ‘schizopsec’, but follows all the traits of OSDD 1B, enough that I tend to use both terms. ‘Fred’ is one of my alters - he’s my main ISH (internal self helper), caretaker, and fictive (fictional introject), and he has been for around 10 years. This is not a joke. This is as cringe as it sounds, even worse in real life when he fronts of course, and is embarrassing for me to admit even when I attach this post to my main blog where I share schizospec upliftment posts. It’s a complicated and excruciating subject matter for many many reasons, and it’s important that I clarify this, even though it’s uncomfortable for me, since this naturally affects my ability of separating Fred the alter from Freaky Fred in my writing and art. This is part of why I have to keep scrutinising my writing drafts. I believe I can keep them separate, but this is part of the reason why I guess my attachment for him and making content to do with him is there at all.

My thoughts on Freaky Fred in episode : As a schizospec, putting the alter aside, schizophrenic representation means the world and the moon and the stars to me, even when it’s bad. I can’t tell if this is an agreeable opinion amongst other schizospec/ psychotic people, but even damaging and dangerous rep involving homicidality like the axe crazy maniacs have something of catharsis in their rises and falls that I can appreciate, depending. Sexually depraved and violent rep however, crosses a line; obviously schizo killers in fiction are heavily drenched in misinformed stigma and is mostly bullshit and can be dangerous- we are dramatically far more likely to hurt ourselves or be hurt - but I think most people would agree that sexual violence is a different evil altogether, and I cannot stand to see the marginalised mentally ill conflated with such horrendous shit.

There’s the problem. I think Fred is a schizophrenic; other than him getting the equivalent to straightjacketed at the end and taken to presumably some asylum or how he narrates/ talks/rhymes in his own head and otherwise barely talks just disjointedly - he’s got that classic 90s-00s cartoon crazy grin and is instilling fear in the viewer through said unbalancedness,his whole deal is very ‘of its time’ on displaying scary madness. And, all that being said, even though he’s clearly not good rep by any stretch of the imagination, he doesn’t harm anyone - he’s even ‘nice’ - or at least doesn’t seem to be blatantly malicious. The bar is on the floor, but that’s already better than idk William Afton or something.

Fred as a predator: The point of view of Fred as a metaphorical molester is pretty obvious and is a popular opinion, and it would be dishonest to say I don’t completely see it, especially with how he says naughty - the implication steers more into the sexual predator area. Hair shaving isn’t violent as much as taking something away - subtracting, and this can be interpreted in a murderous or SA fashion, but the murderous interpretation I stick with, one akin to Sweeney Todd, is a very flattering view of it and I know it. It’s easy to see how it comes off fetishistic which favours an SA view and is naturally the reason why a lot of people see it as rapey.

The episode as a metaphor for SA or CSA enabled in a household that turns the other way is popular, and at first I didn’t like this theory because it felt like a dark theory made almost to tarnish child content with a deeper or darker meaning, which I had seen a lot elsewhere. But this wasn’t really honest; ‘The Mask’ works well as an episode with no subtext but is respected moreso as an episode clearly about domestic abuse and misandry born from trauma. ‘Freaky Fred’ can also be this.

I think the well and honest truth for me is, even when I do everything I can to touch grass, and remove my personal connection to the character/ the idea of him through the alter, away from the conversation; I really don’t want Fred to be a schizophrenic and a sexual predator character at the same time, and I cannot remove my view of him as the first one, but I have to admit that, in some ways, both was intended for him and this episode in some variation. It’s pretty upsetting to think about; I know a majority audience isn’t going to be that invested in the representation of mad people, especially not in cartoon antagonists, but it matters a lot to me. Obviously it would still be bad if he wasn’t a crazy character and it would still be scary and awful if he acted more ‘normal’, but that craziness is there and the combination feels particularly wretched because, once again, schizophrenics are far more likely to be victimised.

What I’m trying to say with all this; Fred is a mad character who despite being the most offputting and scary character I’ve ever seen in my life, managed to become irremovable from my psyche for almost my whole life, for better and for worse, and in some small way, seeing him as so scary and uncomfortable, but equally ‘good-willed’ and harmless by technicality in that episode, made me feel a little less alone. But people who have been yucked out by this blog and this fixation as I said before are fully in their right, and I am taking a step back to consider if I want to continue with making stuff to do with Fred or not.

The fanfic?: I still think about the story a lot but as you can probably tell I’ve made it very convoluted by involving a meta narrative, and as I’m just about to head into university by the time I’m writing this, it’s difficult to tell what will come of this. I will let you all know, but it’s in a continuous grey area and I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up. I’m sorry.

Will I still post art?: Maybe haha, I never know how to feel when I post it. Sometimes I worry it gives off the impression that I ship post-shaving incident Barbred (I don’t) or that I endorse Fred’s ‘freakiness’ at all. And sometimes I think it just looks bad, as in not a good recreation of the ctcd art style, or too sad - like idk why I think the audience is just going to understand these alarmingly emotional pieces when I’ve been pretty scarce on context, I apologise for everyone’s who’s gotten tonal whiplash scrolling. Fred art may come up elsewhere on my other blog which I will reblog here if I think it’s appropriate.

If you read all the way thank you so much💚, I hope you get what I’m saying, and if you don’t I understand. Consider following my main zebedeezing if you want somewhere I post more often though non ctcd related.