#im genuinely not trying to make light of it. i just dont see where that came across in that way so I feel our perspectives arent aligned
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
gonna be real seeing you boil down someone else's concerns abt making light of a rapist in media as fandom drama really hurts as someone who's experienced that kind of violence first hand. the character is fictional and obviously doesnt exist. but rape victims do exist and we see when people sexualize or joke about predators. idk. i don't intend to tell you what to do, but i hope this helps maybe explain why someone else could've been startled or upset to see that on your blog. its your space you can do what you want with it. i think some media doesn't need to be fandomized or treated as yaoi fodder. maybe it can just be taken seriously and discussed with respect. i think its pretty reasonable for victims of particular types of violence to express discomfort or concern when people joke about or make light of those who perpetrate it.
I genuinely get where you are coming from, I do. But what that ask was getting at did not convey to me what you seem to have taken from it.
There's a difference between making light of/mocking/making jokes about sexual assault/rape vs drawing a character who does those things in a narrative in an unserious way. Likewise, I feel that boiling down the narrative to just be about that One Act in many, many ways does a disservice to the narrative and characters as a whole.
I'm also not understanding where exactly this is coming from, to be entirely honest.
A person can be fully capable of breaking down and analyzing Jimmy in a way that is entirely respectful while still, also, making light of other aspects or enjoying him removed from that context. Drawing a character in a goofy way doesn't mean the person is making light of Anya's SA, or even excusing it. You can ship two characters while still finding the canon actions of one absolutely despicable. These things are not mutually exclusive!
Just as you're not telling me what to do, I'm not saying you, or that other anon, or anyone else has to put up with seeing that character or engaging with media that portrays him that way, to be clear. I'm not trying to tell you that your feelings or hurt or experiences aren't valid, they clearly and very much are.
But it's not my job, or even obligation, to protect you from it. Or any other trigger, for that matter. I do what I can with tags, but that's a courtesy I try to apply when and where I can.
That's what I'm getting at here. I tagged for him and that ship so others could avoid it if they found it upsetting. The anon did not do that, so I explained my stance.
People will engage with media in ways that are upsetting to you, or ways that even disgust you. I can't stop them, I make no plans to, and if my opinions or behaviors around this are upsetting or disappointing to you, if I endanger you or anyone by behaving this way, it is in your best interest to block me and have a safer and less stressful experience online. Those tools are readily available for that very reason.
I know far too many others who have also experienced that kind of violence, family included. I know the frustration and hurt of making light of that kind of thing, and how it can and does impact others.
But this is not that.
If, however, you feel it is, that's your right! I can't tell you how to engage with anything, nor do I intend to. I cannot change my space to fit your needs, and I'm genuinely sorry if that makes you feel unsafe or upset. I'm not trying to make light SA or the victims thereof.
I'm trying to, as best as I can, explain that policing how others engage with a fandom and its characters simply does not and cannot work. That isn't "fandom drama" - it's the psychology of humans and the media they connect with. Humans are complicated creatures, and our needs and interests vary wildly.
There is no monolithic way to demand others engage with a source material, and attempting to do so does more harm to you than that effort is worth. I hope you and that other anon can have a less upsetting day/night/etc - again, I'm sorry if this is frustrating to hear, but I fear this is an impasse we simply won't agree on in this way.
#asks#anon#i have slept for 3 hours so i hope this makes sense#im not passing judgement on jimmy other than that guy fucking sucks#however please remember that. I didn't make that art. and you have no context about the person who did#for all you know people making art in that way do so bc they cant handle the heavier aspects#there are people who do that as a way to avoid their own triggers for the same reasons you treat it seriously#victims do not only ever have one way to cope or connect with these things#all you can do is protect yourself as carefully as you can#if you need extra tags on anything with him genuinely let me know! i will add them!#im not actively in that fandom and I barely use tumblr FOR fandom#idk the tagging etiquette for it#also if you know me off anon you are free to nudge me or have a better discussion abt this in DMs#im genuinely not trying to make light of it. i just dont see where that came across in that way so I feel our perspectives arent aligned#answers#rape mention#SA mention
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
You can also recognize someone by the sounds of their breathing. I do that with my family and it's hilarious when I know who they are when they're trying to sneak up on me lol
bruce is one of those people who can recognize others by the sound of their footsteps, their smell (and ONLY THAT), their voice, just like, anything really
and when other, normal, people find it weird, he just goes "well, tim does it too"
(that's NOT reassuring, bruce)
#i bring this up because i have horroble eyesight which lead to me just automatically memorizing pathways in places i work/live at#so that i wouldnt have to turn on the lights. which has lead to me walking up on my family and coworkers and accidentally giving them#a heartattack. so they try to do the same to me with minimal success. the problem is that im not actually trying to scare them#to me i just legit walk up. any noise i make trying to signal that im behind them doesnt get noticed by them apparently#considering that im currently living with my mother rn she keeps getting jumpscared and has threatened to bell me#my older sibling and i also stay on the same train of thought and can talk at the same time and tone. we got called#ill admit there are a couple of times where i did scare her on purpose but a good 85% was on accident#which she doesnt believe because everytime her reactions are tp funny and i just fall over laughing. she jumps. throws her hands up#screams and everything#me basically: mother im sorry for all the heartattacks but im genuinely not doing this on purpose i swear *cant stand due to laughing*#at my last job though we had heavy and baggy uniforms and steel toes are common in that field metal and plastic bits got carried in pockets#so it took effort be stealthy. but my old job also had a noisy environment most of the time. which lead to hilarious moments#where i (below average height) would seemingly appear out of nowhere and give my coworkers (6ft+) heartattacks. yelling included#i accidentally scared my workplace of 80+ people so much that one of the managers had to tell me to walk louder#the best part thoigh is that because im so small and theyre so tall is that they wouldnt see me at first glance if i was sitting and they#walk in the room. they could walk up right next to me asking where i was and id just look up and say 'right here' and theyd just die#theres nothing more satisfying than seeing macho men scream like a little girl when the only thing you did was sitting still#my older sibling and i are also on the same train of thought when messing with others we can talk at the same time. tone. and mannerisms#we got called 'the twins from the shining' once from an ice cream store worker even though we are five years apart and dont look alike#for as much as most of the times ive scared someone being accidentall. their fear fills me as much and well as a feast does#its because a lot of people see me and think im dainty and innocent. its honestly sad how many people are surprised when i cuss
820 notes
·
View notes
Text
the stereotype of rwingers becoming trans and then trying to become leftists shouldnt be a "ewww you're morally impure and havent been a perfect progressive since you were a fetus like I have" type of thing, if anything it should open up a broader conversation on how a lot of people amab are basically from day one being indoctrinated into the right thus making it harder for people to accept themselves and thats very concerning and we need to do something to stop this.
#and no amount of shouting 'men bad' will fix this btw. not that some of you care. you just want to shout....#and then ur like 'im just venting !!!!' on a post that's clearly made to get attention and reblogs.............#if ur just venting why are u providing links and wanting to spread this information#i just hate when ppl have a lot of shit to say but never any solutions. its like. great thanks i already know that. now what.#now what do we do to make things better? and if it required you to change in any way would you be willing to do so?#and some ppl dont wanna answer those questions bc they just want to rant but for some reason cant do that w/o trying to make it#a political post to get reblogs on tumblr..? if its a vent post turn off reblogs. like.???????#bc you providing links n shit and making it seem like you want the info spread but no one can critique you on how you provide#0 solutions or ideas in any capacity on how to fix things and just only ever demonize men- is giving heavy propaganda vibes#like i dont think ur doing it intentionally as propaganda i think ur just defensive but thats how its coming off#you're basically saying 'men bad' and thats it. like thats the only substance to what you're saying. theres never a solution.#theres never a light at the end of the tunnel. just. men bad. forever and ever. and that feels propaganda-y to me.#like as if you're a rwinger trying to convince me black ppl are all violent by only ever showing me stuff of black ppl being violent#and not even ever providing solutions to a fake problem so the natural conclusion i the viewer am to come to is 'black people violent.#always violent. should avoid' bc thats how racist propaganda works...... and... well.... *eyes your blog up and down*... yeah...#and thats not me saying 'men r oppressed like black people' thats me making an analogy that's similar. idk why acting that way#would suddenly be okay behavior if its about men instead........ like........... tf. doing this about anything is weird and sus as fuck lik#what possible reason would you have to antagonize and demonize something that much#its like. that subreddit of people who hate dogs. like they cant ever see dogs in a positive light ever and its just like weirdly cruel#for no real reason...? idk... and even if they have valid trauma about dogs like... maybe this level of vitriol to where you are quite#literally foaming at the mouth isnt good for you and you need to like look into why that's your reaction and why you think its ok to act#like that#and i dont mean that in a 'lol ur foaming at the mouth' i mean it in a 'im genuinely concerned about how upset you are' kind of way
0 notes
Note
hi!! I love your writing :). I wanted to request an angst to fluff scenario where reader likes the boy and confesses to him but he turns her down, but then he later regrets it and comes back?? and they live happily ever after??? i don’t really have any specific preferences other than that but im such a sucker for rejecting and regretting/she falls first he falls harder scenarios!! im using her/she to refer to the reader rn but i dont have any preference, just not sure how else to write it haha id love if you could include suo, togame, and umemiya but totally up to you :).
hey so thanks sm for your request! i loved writing this and with these boys, tho umemiya's does end on a pretty angsty note with how i was initially drafting it. i hope thats okay ♡
confessions, rejections, and regrets
⸻ °♡⃘ . you confess to the boy you liked, only to be rejected. or so you think, as, unbeknownst to you, the next time, it would be him begging for your heart
⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Suo Hayato
Tears. All you could feel dripping from your face and down your cheeks was the salty aftermath of your own tears. And standing before you, the boy who had just rejected you.
"I'm sorry, I just don't see you in that light," Suo, with his hands firmly placed in front of the other, repeated, further breaking your heart into a million pieces.
Pitifully, you laughed—but little humour was found in the dreary quiet of your heart. "I know," you whispered, choking down the ache that was your confession to the person you'd grown to admire and love.
The pain lingered with every thought—that Suo was simply just too good for you, but so did your respect for him. Even if you tried your hardest to do so, you just couldn't find it in yourself to dislike him.
Suo had always been kind, even as he rejected you.
That was part of why you liked him so much in the first place. Even if it hurt, you couldn't blame him for having such feelings about you that just weren't the same. You couldn't continue to be selfish.
"I know. Just, thank you, for hearing me out," you said, your voice becoming surprisingly steady, slowly accepting what you heard. "That's just the kind of person you are."
And then you walked away. You refused to let him see the fresh tears welling up in your eyes. You respected his choice. If he didn't reciprocate your feelings, you couldn't force it. It had to be mutual—or nothing at all.
Days turned into weeks, and though you still felt the ache of his rejection, like with most things, you had to move on and push forward. You treated Suo the same way you treated everyone else. Although, you couldn't deny that it was rather awkward after Suo saw you well up with tears dripping down your face like a waterfall. And it didn't help that you both were friends with the Furin first years, like Kiryu and Nirei, whom you were very close to.
So, time and time again, you would avoid Suo like the plague; all the while, he seemed to watch from afar, unsure of how to bridge the gap. You were always respectful, never bitter, never clinging. It was difficult, but you refused to let your emotions tarnish your friendship or make things awkward.
Suo, however, found himself unable to stay away. He'd initially assumed your feelings for him were just surface-level, a kind of shallow attraction to his looks, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. He only realized this when he peeled back the layers of who you were—a kind, genuine individual so far removed from the superficial affection he had imagined. And as time passed, he began to notice more—the way you treated everyone around you with the same kindness and consideration.
But over time, Suo would see you purposely trying to hide from him, all the while pretending everything was okay and nothing changed. It was saddening, in a way, how your laughter grew quieter, your gaze avoiding his, and the fun and games you two once shared together seemed to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.
But you couldn't hide from Suo forever.
"He just doesn't like me, Nirei.”
Taking a walk around the neighbourhood that evening, following his typical routine, Suo had unknowingly overheard you talking to Nirei. And unlike his straightforward character, he continued to hide behind the wall and listen, his heart aching with every word he caught from your lips.
"It’s not that I don’t care…" you said softly to Nirei, who had asked about what had happened between you and Suo. "He rejected me, and I have to respect that. You can't have a relationship if both sides don't feel the same."
"I see... B-But do you still like him?" Nirei finally asked, twiddling his own thumbs.
You hesitated for a moment before answering, "I do."
That conversation was what really hit him hard. That you still liked him. That maybe... he wasn't too late to come around.
"Nirei, not knowing what to say to a person who seemingly still had feelings for one of his closest friends, winced, "He'll... he'll come around," not necessarily finding the right words, but you didn't appear to mind it. Rather, you were too distracted with your own feelings.
And Suo, hidden from view, felt his chest tighten. He wasn't sure why he'd been hiding in the first place, but suddenly, he couldn't bear to listen any longer. He shouldn't even be here, listening to your conversation and very obviously intruding on your privacy.
But just before he could slip away, though, very conveniently, Sakura popped out from behind the corner. "The hell are you doing back here?" loud enough for both you and Nirei to hear and turn your heads to meet the noise—and Suo, right before your very eyes.
Your eyes went wide in shock as you spotted Suo standing right there, seemingly who had heard everything.
"S-Suo, what are you—"
Back-and-forth looks were exchanged, and so too was the silence. Nirei and Sakura gave brief, knowing glances, and with a single look, Nirei left you two alone, much to your dismay and humiliation.
You stood frozen, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts, none of which managed to form coherent words to say to the boy who had basically just heard you confess your feelings to him once again. Nervous and fidgeting, you finally let out a sigh. "Hayat– Suo, I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise that I'm not going to bother you anymore. I really—"
But your words and apologies were left on deaf ears—cut off mid-sentence before Suo suddenly reached for you, his hand gently pulling you toward him. Before you could even process what was happening, you found yourself wrapped in his arms, your head resting against his chest.
"I was wrong."
"…H-Huh?"
"I was so, so wrong," he muttered, grasping at the edge of your sleeve even tighter than just a second ago. "I thought you only liked me for shallow reasons, but... I've realized that I like you too. More than I ever let myself admit. And I apologize for making you wait."
You blinked, your brain going haywire, trying to comprehend every word that left his lips, but Suo only held you tighter, his chin resting on the top of your head. When you didn't answer, he went on—whether that was for your or his own reassurance that you wouldn't be the one rejecting him this time was unclear.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to see it, but I don't want to let this go," he murmured. "I don't want to lose you." He regretted every moment of him rejecting you since that day. And if you were to be the one rejecting him this time…
Your breath hitched at the base of your throat, disbelief seeping into your every thought. Was he serious…? The boy who had rejected you, who had caused you so much heartache, was now confessing to the very feelings you had once longed to hear.
'You make it so unfair…' you muttered.
Part of you wanted to reject him, to make him feel how you felt after he rejected you. But deep down, you knew you couldn't find it in yourself to throw away this chance. And neither could Suo.
"I… I still like you, too."
Your voice was hardly audible, but Suo heard it loud and clear. He pulled away just enough to meet your eyes, his expression soft and vulnerable. "Then let's start over."
Your lips trembled into a small smile. "Alright."
Suo leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, until Suo suddenly grabbed your hand, making you jump slightly. "Come on," he said, tugging you gently. "Let's go grab something to eat. I know of a good spot that just opened that serves your favourite food."
"W-Wait, Hayato, I thought you were on a diet?" you stammered, completely caught off guard by his change in behaviour. He had always been strict about his routine—always so disciplined, so focused. But now, he seemed different. Lighter, somehow. But that was Suo for you.
He smiled, softer this time, his eyes lovingly meeting yours. "I can't miss this opportunity to spend time with a special someone. You can't keep avoiding me forever," making your face flush crimson as his words sunk in.
⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Togame Jo
Shit… he shouldn't have said that.
Togame's words had slipped out before he could stop them, and the second he did, he knew he had fucked up. He cursed from under his breath, his hands already reaching out toward you as your face crumpled with hurt.
You stood there, staring at him—processing every snide word that left Togame's mouth—your chest rising and falling as if you were struggling even to breathe. He didn't mean it. He knew he didn't mean it, and he was pretty sure you knew that, too. But the damage was done, and he could see it in your eyes, the way he could see the shimmering of unshed tears ready to drip down your flushed cheeks..
"I'm sorry," Togame said immediately, his voice softening as he pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you like a protective barrier. He could feel you stiffen in his hold, your hands pushing weakly against his chest, but he wasn't about to let go, not on that horrible note.
"Let go, Jo," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "You made your decision. You've... I've already said enough."
But Togame wasn't listening. Not with what he just had done and said that only left him with regrets. He couldn't take it anymore. Not the sadness in your voice, not the way you tried to pull away from him like he was a stranger. No, he wasn't letting you walk away like this, not after everything you had shared. And certainly not after everything he just spat at you.
"I didn't mean it, okay?" His words were rushed, almost desperate. Togame's grip on you only tightened with time, refusing to let go even an inch. "I was stupid. I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was saying, but I promise you, I'll fix this. I can't stand seeing you like this."
Your heart hurt at his words. You were utterly torn between wanting to believe him and protecting yourself from further hurt. After all, he had already said plenty… "You don't get just to say something like that and then take it back, Jo. It doesn't work like that..."
Togame's breath hitched as your words sliced the air and, in turn, his heart. His mind and body froze
That wasn't it. Not at all. He liked you. He loved you.
His rejection was but a projection of his own insecurities—that he wouldn’t be the right person for you.
But never did he think that he too didn’t want anyone else in your life, that it made his heart ache just thinking about it, the idea of someone else seeing your smile, hearing your laugh and holding the piece of your heart he so desperately longed for—that he previously had thrown away.
He hated himself for it—hated that he’d let his fears dictate his actions, that he’d hurt the one person who made his world feel less empty.
But he couldn’t let this end here. Not like this.
"I know. But— fuck…" he said quietly, his voice breaking, cracking into incomprehensible pieces of a heartbroken sentence. His shoulders trembled as he finally loosened his rough grip on you. Although his hands still rested hesitantly on your shoulders. “I know I can’t undo what I said, but I need you to know... I was wrong. I’m so damn wrong, and I’m so sorry.”
Scrunching your face, you shook your head, gaze fixed on the ground as you tried to will away the tears that had long streamed down your face. “Why, Jo?”
Why. A simple explanation as to his stupid, idiotic, impulsive mistake was all that you wanted from him.
His heart clenched at your words. Pure guilt tore him apart. He wished he could go back and rewind time to the moment before his insecurities took over. But he couldn’t. All he had now was this moment to make things right.
“Because I’m a coward!”
His confession all tumbled out in a rush, unfiltered. “I’m a fucking coward.” Every word was a weight being lifted from his chest, all in hopes that you might understand might hear him out, even if it wouldn’t completely change things. “I thought... I thought you deserved someone better. Someone who wouldn’t screw things up like I always do. Someone who could make you happy without dragging you into all my mess.”
Your eyes flickered up to meet his, for once, the honesty in his voice catching you heavily off guard. He appeared to be so unusually vulnerable, completely stripped of the bravado he usually wore like armour on his fists.
“But I can’t stop thinking about you,” he continued, his hands sliding down your arms as if needing a sense of reassurance that you were still with him and by his side and not a figment of his imagination. Hesitant but hopeful. “Every time I tried to push you away, it just made me want you more. And I was a complete idiot for thinking I could ever be okay without you.”
“Togame...”
“And I get it if you hate me for this,” he interrupted, all the words tumbling out of his mouth before he lost his nerve. “But I need you to know... I’m not asking for a second chanc—” he paused his sentence, before he could lose his resolve completely. “I love you. I’ve loved you all along, even when I was too scared to admit it.”
Your chest tightened. You oh-so-wanted to stay angry, to hold onto the pain, but his confession was undoing every wall you had tried to build.
“I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Just... don't walk away from me. Please. Not like this."
“.....”
“...Do you mean that?”
Your voice was hardly audible as you looked up at him.
“More than anything.”
Togame cupped your smaller face in his callous hands, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down your cheek, kissing the pain away. “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes.”
For the slightest moment, neither of you spoke. You could hardly hear a thing other than the sound of your breathing and the beat of his heart pressed tightly against yours. You felt his arms around you, warm and safe, and despite everything, a part of you wanted to stay right there, to believe that things could be okay.
Then, slowly, you nodded, the smallest of smiles breaking through your tears. “I hate that you’re so good at making me believe you,” you said softly, for the first time all day, a small laugh escaped your lips. And it was heavenly. It was what he loved so much about you.
Togame’s lips quirked up in a tentative grimace. “Does that mean… I get another shot?”
“Don’t make me regret it,” you murmured, but your voice was warm, filled with the hope that maybe—just maybe—this time things could be different. "I'm not going anywhere," you finally said. "But you have to mean it this time, Jo."
He nodded, his forehead resting against yours. "I do. I promise."
So, just like that, you let it go. Slowly, you relaxed in his arms, letting the weight of your sadness slip away, if only for a moment. Togame didn't let go, and neither did you.
And in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you allowed yourself to believe him. For now, that was enough.
⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Umemiya Hajime
"But we can still be friends!" Umemiya's voice rang out, almost too cheerful for the conversation you'd just had. He flashed you that familiar smile, oblivious to how his words felt like a punch to your chest.
"Oh! There's actually an event at Furin soon. I know you like a good barbecue. You should join us! It'll be fun!"
You stared at him, nonblinking, and for a brief second, you couldn't believe he was serious. How could he be so, casual? He must be playing you, right...? But no, that was just how Umemiya was, as you've found him for years.
You had just poured your entire heart into him, and in return, he offered you friendship—a friendship that you already had with him for years—as if it were a consolation prize.
But your heart ached so much, desperate for any kind of connection to him, that even the slightest bit of attention, however hollow, felt like a lifeline. So you nodded, forcing a polite smile across your face. "Yeah... sure, I'll come."
And just like that, you became that of a shadow, a close friend who laughed at his jokes, stayed by his side when he needed someone, and cheered for him during the times when you both would play video games. You were nothing more than a mere member of his Furin family. All the times you would talk and laugh together with them were great, and even the occasional late-night hangouts. But it wasn't enough. It was never fully enough.
Staying close to Umemyia only made you want him more, and that fact haunted you. Being so close to him yet knowing you couldn't have him the way you wanted was agony. The more time you spent around him, the more you craved his attention, but not as a friend, no, but as something more. It gnawed at you, that longing, and with each passing day, it became harder and harder to pretend.
It wasn't just unfair to you—it was unfair to him, too. He deserved someone who wouldn't secretly hope for something more, who wouldn't keep pushing the boundary between friendship and something deeper. You knew this arrangement couldn't go on, not without tearing you apart.
So, one night, after finally gathering the courage, you decided to put an end to it. But unbeknownst to you, Umemiya wasn't doing any better either.
Before, he never considered you more than a friend—someone who'd been there through all the ups and downs, always supportive, always kind, always you.
He never questioned the ease with which he could talk to you or the way your laughter seemed to brighten the atmosphere of any room you were in.
So when you finally confessed to him that very day—that your feelings toward him were more than what he thought—he hadn't thought much of it beyond friendship. He didn't think it was deeper than that… not until after he turned you down.
At first, Umemiya was convinced it was the right thing to do. He told himself he didn't feel the same way. But as the days passed, those same thoughts weighed differently on him. The way you still smiled at him, still treated him the same even after his rejection—it gnawed at him.
He started seeing the little things he hadn't noticed before. The way you always knew exactly what to say to cheer him up after a bad day, the way your eyes lingered on him for just a second too long, the way your laugh sounded like it was just for him.
And suddenly, it wasn't just about friendship anymore.
At night, alone with his thoughts, he realized he had been wrong. So, so wrong. The feelings he'd dismissed as just a fleeting affection had grown—almost insidiously—into something he couldn't ignore. It became a constant. An ache of longing to be near you, but this time, not just as a friend, but as someone who could hold you, kiss you, call you his own.
So when you suddenly asked for him to, and you meet up together alone after the barbeque, Umemiya's heart jumped in his chest. This was it. This was his chance to fix everything and correct his mistake, to tell you the truth, to apologize for being so dense. He was ignorant, blatant even, to one of the dearest people in the world to him.
Tonight, he was going to do it. He was going to make it up to you by apologizing and asking for forgiveness. He was excited, hopeful even, imagining the moment when he'd pour out his heart and beg for your forgiveness. You were kind, after all. You'd understand. You had to.
He could barely contain his nerves as he waited for you, replaying his apology speech over and over in his mind.
But when you arrived, something felt off. But Umemyia merely brushed it off as mere nerves. But then you spoke.
"I can't do this anymore."
Your eyes met his, and for a moment, Umemiya's heart stopped. He forced a laugh, trying to shake off the unease creeping into his chest. "What do you mean? O-Oh! If you're talking about how Sakura was acting earlier, hah, he doesn't mean it! You know how he is, just messing around."
But you didn't smile. You didn't laugh. Your expression remained serious, and it made his stomach drop. No, it couldn't be, right?
"Umemiya, I can't do this anymore," you repeated once again, your voice breaking, trembling in a way he had never heard before. "I can't just act like nothing happened anymore. I thought that I could continue being your friend. I really tried. But... it hurts too much. Please, I—"
His heart clenched. No, no, no—this wasn't right. This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go. He was supposed to apologize, to tell you how he felt, to fix things. But now, seeing you like this, so hurt, it paralyzed him.
"Don't say it."
"Hajime, please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."
No, he couldn't let you walk away. Not like this. Not when everything had finally clicked for him. Before he could stop himself, the words spilled out, desperate and unplanned.
"—BUT I LOVE YOU!!"
And he said it.
The moment those words escaped his lips, everything seemed to freeze, and the silence that followed was unbearable. He watched you, waiting for some sign, some reaction that would let him know he wasn't too late. But your eyes... they were filled with so much pain, it made his heart ache even more.
You didn't speak right away, and the longer the silence stretched, the more regret began to claw at him. Why hadn't he seen it sooner? Why did he wait until now, when you were standing here, on the verge of walking away, to realize how much you meant to him? His own foolishness, his blindness—it was too much to bear.
"Why now?" you finally asked. Your voice was soft, barely audible, as if you were afraid of the answer he was giving. It wasn't angry, but it wasn't hopeful either. It was aching, that desperate part of you. "Why... after everything?"
Umemiya couldn’t answer. He didn't have a good reason. He just knew that he loved you now, that he couldn't imagine his life without you in it. But he also knew that might not be enough.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his hands trembling at his sides. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... I didn't know until it was too late."
The tears in your eyes broke him. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He thought he'd be able to fix things, to make everything right, but now it felt like everything was slipping through his fingers.
And much to his horror, you shook your head slowly, stepping back, the distance between you growing—both physically and emotionally. "It's not fair, Hajime. You can't just say that now... not after everything."
For the first time in his life, Umemiya Hajime didn’t know what to say. He stood there, stunned, the words he wanted to say lodged in his throat because, deep down, he already knew.
He didn’t have the right to ask for more when he had rejected the very thing he now realized he couldn’t live without. He had turned you away, convinced it was for the best, only to understand far too late just how much he had thrown away. His indecision—his cowardice—had led to this moment. And now, it wasn’t just his heart breaking; it was yours, too.
He opened his mouth, tried to reach for you, but his arms fell back to his sides. He couldn’t keep making excuses. He couldn’t selfishly try to pull you back, not when his own fickleness had caused you so much pain.
So he let it happen. Right before his very eyes, he watched you take another step back, your face etched with a hurt he knew he had no way of easing. And when you turned, it felt as though the entire world had slipped out of his grasp.
The streets around him blurred as he stared at the spot where you had just stood, his mind and body going through the realization that he might just never get the chance to fix this.
“Wait...” he whispered hoarsely, hand unconsciously reaching forward, but the word fell into the silence, unheard and unanswered.
And with that, you were gone, leaving him behind—alone, with but the cold remnants of his mistakes.
lol i also noticed how each just gets slowly more bittersweet to straight up angsty in umemiya's
©hxnbi. comments, reblogs and likes are always appreciated ♡
#wind breaker#windbreaker#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#wind breaker x gn reader#wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker (satoru nii) x reader#wind breaker x y/n#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker drabbles#suo hayato#hayato suo#suo x reader#suo hayato x reader#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime#hajime umemiya#umemiya x reader#togame jo#jo togame#togame x reader
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
BUT I DONT WANNA DANCE, IF IM NOT DANCING WITH YOU ♡ !
pairing percy jackson x ballerina!reader summary (smau) just a few days in the life as a pro ballerina nd her loving bf ( ꈍ◡ꈍ) an guys i dont know anything abt ballet please dont come for me 😭 also!! first smau and first time writing in foreverrrrr
♡ liked by perseajackson, annie.beth, prettygirlpipes, hazelluvsu, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others
soyn last few days in the studio have been soso hectic but im forever great full i get to spend them with some of the most beautiful amazing dancers in the whole wide worlddd ‹𝟹 ( dont forget to buy ur tickets for our upcoming recital !! )
annie.beth u guys literally look so good !! popped in the other day to help with lighting issues and oh em gee im so excited nd proud!!
⤷ soyn and u didnt say hello !! literally what !!
⤷ annie.beth my boss didnt let me ᴖ̈
⤷ soyn they hate to see us together fr
tallesttiptoes blood sweat nd tears going into this guys buy ur tickets ꃋᴖꃋ
⤷ soyn no literally like the amount of band-aids i have on rn ....
⤷ perseajackson can confirm shes gone through two boxes of hello kitty band-aids in the last month
lightning.mcqueen where can i buy tickets plsss (ㅅ´ ˘ `)
⤷ soyn TY JASON !! (balletwebsite.com) !!
♡ liked by soyn, letsbefrank, sillysallyjackson, underwoodz, annie.beth, fireboy, lightning.mcqueen and others
perseajackson day like forty seven of trying new recipes except when i tried making what i had originally planned i spilled like half of our salt ... we resorted to pasta but its a win cause my gf loves pasta
fireboy how the hell did u spill half of ur salt
⤷ perseajackson ive literally watched you intentionally put seven cups of salt into a cake before
⤷ fireboy ... and what im a salty man
⤷ prettygirlpipes we know
lightning.mcqueen waiting for the day u make me dinner ᴖ̈
⤷ perseajackson ill make u a full course meal bro dw
⤷ lightning.mcqueen bro ily
⤷ perseajackson omg no ily more
view more replies
soyn best chef in ny fr !! after ur mom ofc
⤷ perseajackson real i can never compete with her she'd eat me up
⤷ soyn its cause she's sally jackson babe dw
now playing ... birds of a feather by billie eilish
♡ liked by annie.beth, soyn, perseajackson, lightning.mcqueen, hazelluvsu, fireboy, letsbefrank and others
prettygirlpiper group met up at the fair this weekend nd omg ... i have not laughed n had so much fun since i cant even remember like core memory fr + everybody's fav couple making the whole fair feel single
annie.beth WE LITERALLY NEED TO DO THIS MORE IT WAS SM FUN
⤷ fireboy YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO LIFE IM FREE WHENEVERRR ( ˶•ᴖ•) !!
hazelluvsu i had so much fun except for when i almost died of laughter after watching jason lose at thirteen games in a row
⤷ lightning.mcqueen TRAITOR
⤷ perseajackson damnnnn u did my man dirty hazel
⤷ letsbefrank nah cause it was genuinely sad after a while
⤷ lightning.mcqueen percy ur the only one who understands me
soyn ily guys sm omgggg (pipes dont be shy send me that pic ˘ ³˘)
⤷ prettygirlpiper i gotchu pooks dw ♡
♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, letsbefrank, luvrgirlsteph, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy and others
soyn im working late, cause im a singer dancer ( recital is in two days we r stressing but so ready !! )
tallesttiptoes OH YEAH im so ready (im not ready at all) literally so pumped (crying in my closet rn) i CANNOT wait (im going to kms)
⤷ luvrgirlsteph WE GOT THIS GIRL DONT KYS ‹𝟹
perseajackson ilysm babe u got this !!
⤷ soyn tysm percy ily (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)
⤷ prettygirlpiper omg i hate u guys #bringbacktoxiccouples
⤷ perseajackson stay jealous
hazelluvsu u got this yn !! ur an amazing leader i just know all the girls in ur studio r so lucky to be working with u !!
⤷ tallesttiptoes YESS WE AREEEE
⤷ luvrgirlsteph yn my fav dancer fr !!
⤷ soyn ilysm pretty girls ‹𝟹
now playing ... new years day by taylor swift
♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others
soyn theres glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, and i am holding onto these memories as they hold onto me- we did it !!
perseajackson words cannot explain how proud i am of u babe, i literally started crying and the guy next to me hugged me and we cried TOGETHER
⤷ soyn NO WAY NO U DID NOT
⤷ lightning.mcqueen yes he did leo and i can confirm ill send u the pics rn
⤷ soyn THIS IS GOLDEN WHAT
fireboy THAT WAS SO COOL U LOOKED LIKE A PRINCESS I WANNA DO BALLET
⤷ soyn BETTTT LEO U GOT THAT
⤷ prettygirlpiper ohmygod i cannot wait to see how this ends
annie.beth U GUYS DID SO WELL IT WAS AMAZING !!
⤷ hazelluvsu my jaw was literally on the floor to whole time ꃋᴖꃋ
⤷ letsbefrank drop the leg day routine cause HOW
⤷ soyn STOPPP ILY GUYS SM (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)
© ssparksflyy ┊ ur user was inspired by so high school n so american - like if you put my name in it would be 'sobells' yk?? yk.
#howd i do guys#i hope u liked it :D#also yes i used kaomojis so i didnt have to use actual emojis#theyre cuter ok#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson x you#pjo x reader#pjo smau#seaweed brain ⋅˚₊‧𓇼#by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
disneyland happenings
featuring varian and hugo. since thats what our costumes were
^(us trying to be very spooky) (there is a lot below btw lol)
someone asking if i (dressed as hugo) was from atlantis. surprisingly this only happened once
we went to kingdom hearts mickey first bc that was gonna be a popular one the rest of the night. the idea of varian in kingdom hearts is definitely really funny. i do not go here im just being honest
OH. new addition to the costume. i had olivia with me as a shoulder friend
met bruno from encanto who commented on her. we talked about our rodent friends he was very nice. he said he brought "all 200" of his rats with him and wanted to help feed them and knows mickey is a big mouse so maybe we could ask him. i said we could just steal some food. varian got mad
went over to see sid from toy story because he seemed like a mean little bitch. he was a mean little bitch. i may have said that his creations could use a little work but thats no reason for him to say "your mouse needs a little work" and "i hope you kept the receipt".... cunt
laughing about how mother gothel was no longer part of the characters to meet. "they killed her forever this time" etc etc
watching the parade and varian almost jumping out of his skin when mother gothel was in the parade. her ghost
we went to this thing called villain's grove which was a bunch of light and effects n stuff through their little forest area. it was mostly a cool immersive experience so most of the footage is on the Lights And Effects Themselves but here's a few of us that look cool lol. gay tunnel (maybe not) (that segment was themed after frollo)
met hans from frozen. we absolutely had no clue he was going to be there it was pretty funny. you may guess that my friend @kristoffs-lullaby (varian cosplayer) is a frozen enjoyer. so we hopped in line to see him
hans asked if varian's alchemy balls were some sort of magic or enchantment and you'll Never guess what varian responded with
though explaining its alchemy and science and all that didnt really make him feel better. he even asked if its something that would be in danger of bringing in an "eternal winter". varian did not like that :)
saw dr. doofenshmirtz (?) i didnt watch that show. he was pretty fun to meet though. i know some people dont like his creepy ass design, but i do, its fun and weird to me. he wanted to collaborate with me and varian since we're scientists. really funny to have him say "i'll have my people call your people". a possible strange message that rapunzel will get later /j
also encountered hades. though our friend @iammisswow was with us and so i had him focus on her since shes a big hercules fan. the visual was hugo getting this scary man's attention to be put on someone else by calling her out. it worked obviously. "oh SHE is a HUGE fan of hercules"
madam mim from sword in the stone didnt really have as big of a crowd so we actually talked with her a pretty good amount. shes SO fun. lots of discussion about magic vs science and how she thinks knowledge is stupid. you can imagine how we of all people felt when she said "KNOWLEDGE is not power, MAGIC is power". she also liked olivia (she thought she was a familiar)
meeting judge doom from roger rabbit was kind of scary LOL. very intimidating man. but his area had vats of chemicals and all that so you can imagine we had fun with that. WE can be trusted. obviously.
nervously just nodding our heads as judge doom tells us to come to him if we have any information regarding where "that rabbit is" (we are not doing that)
and also we saw ernesto de la cruz from coco. we were actually able to catch him right as he started performing which is rad but i dont actually have any interactions to tell u about here it was bad ass though
and, unbeknownst to Hugo (as in i also didnt know about this), varian had a surprise for him. he had a whole... horribly genuine and flustery spiel to say about messing around in his lab and all that and made something for hugo. which was a necklace with a piece of colored glass-like material (teal) in the shape of a heart. hugo handled that whole situation really well (lie)
ANYWAYS ! that's it. i've mentioned before but Disneyland Trips will be retired really soon since I'm not too fond of a lot of their wack shit right now, but wanted to share some of the last bit of enjoyable times to be had there before that happens
#cosplay#varigo#vat7k#varian and the seven kingdoms#pictobox#varian the alchemist#hugo vat7k#tts varian
155 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m better right? ❤️
Summary: So p1 in Monaco for Daniel was legit everything. But somehow reporters gotta ruin that by comparing him with the “new generation’s star max verstappen” so he brings u to ur shared hotel room to ask u if he’s better or not.
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink, choking, light bdsm, blindfolds, handcuffs
You were there with Daniel in Monaco. Rooting for him to ur fullest. And the fact that he won was everything u ever wanted. U were so happy for him. Everything was going amazing. Until the bullshit interviews after race. Asking him stuff like “although u won, max is still improving and is probably better than u. how do u feel about that?”
Questions like that really pissed him off. And u could see that. After the whole evening being with this “max is better than daniel” interviews, he was just pissed. So u went to him and said “forget about them. u were amazing, u dont have to listen to them. i love you.” Daniel look a bit relaxed after u comforted him. “you’re better in every way” u whispered lightly with a smirk tht made Daniel raise his eyebrows. “Oh yeah baby?” “Of course daddy” u could see by the look on his face that those words drove him crazy.
Heading back to ur shared hotel room, daniel told u to sit on the edge of the bed while he went to his luggage and got some stuff out. Whn he came close to u, u noticed that he was holding a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs. Seeing them u looked up at him with doe eyes excited to know whats gonna happen next. “Be a good girl tonight, okay?” U just nodded. U were genuinely wet just by the thought about everything thats gonna happen. He then got u undressed and blindfolded u saying “im gonna show u that im better” u innocently asked “how?” “Oh baby just wait a bit. You’ll see.”
After he handcuffed u to the headboard, u just closed ur eyes and got comfortable. After a while u could feel daniels hands roam all over ur body. Caressing ur cheeks, then squeezing ur neck a little then going slowly down to ur stomach drawing circles. Making ur whole body get goosebumps. Ur started to squirm under him. “Daddy p-please” he then stopped “please what baby? tell me.” “Just touch me daddy, please. Dont tease me like that.” He started to rub ur thighs as he placed himself between ur legs. Licking you pussy lips saying “fuck you’re already that wet for me?” You could just nod. He began circling your pussy and flicking it every now & then. “Ah d-daddy im gonna cum. Please dont s-stop!” He then started pumping ur pussy with his two fingers while sucking ur pussy clean.
You were trying ur best to grab his curly hair and guide him well. After u’ve cum, he came closer to u and kissed ur neck, which was more of a wet kiss. “Stop fighting for it. You know u cant win baby.” He said as he saw u trying to touch him, ur hands were red at this point. You were basically crying for him. You wanted to touch him so bad. “What is it baby? Do u wanna say something?” “I want u to remove my blindfold and remove my handcuffs, i wanna touch u so bad daddy. Please” ur voice was low, and needy for more. He then kissed ur forehead and removed ur handcuffs.
You started to roam ur hands all over his body as if u haven’t touched him for a long while. U started to go more down to his hips. Palming his dick. “Please daddy, just fuck me!” U clearly whined as daniel smirked and kissed u.
He then positioned himself between ur legs as he rubbed his dick on ur clit, making u whine more. You thought that he was gonna be gentle first but he didn’t. He started with a fast pace that made u scream already. Practically making ur legs shake as he didnt stop his motion. Every single thrust was too much for u to handle. “O-oh daddy, you make me f-feel so good, nghh” he then grabbed ur hair and pulled u closer to him as u could feel his breathe in ur face. “Oh yeah? I make u feel good?” You barely managed to say “y-yes d-daddy u do”
He then placed one hand on ur neck choking u hard and the other one right where it was, on ur hair. Pulling it. It seemed like he just wanted to get his frustrations out at this point. All this bullshit reporters pissing him off so fucking much. You kept u eyes closed as ur whole body fell apart under him. “Baby, look at me, come on” you looked up at him with doe eyes. “Tell me im better. Tell me im better than max. Im better right?” You couldn’t say anything because the pleasure was just too much for u. But still u managed to say “of course you’re better daddy. you’re better than any other f1 grids here” “oh yeah?” “y-yes daddy”
His thrusts became sloppier as u felt a familiar euphoric feeling inside ur stomach. “Ahh daddy im sooo gonna cum” “me too baby, me too. cum for me baby, go on” your whole body started to shake uncontrollably as u came for the second time that night. Your body shivering and shaking. Then u immediately sucked his dick clean, leaving no cum there. “Oh look at u. Such a good girl for me” you looked up at him and kissed the tip of his dick while looking straight into his eyes making him groan by that sight.
He then held u close and cuddled with u. “Just dont think about them. You’re literally the most perfect man I’ve ever met daniel. I love you so much” your words made daniel so comforted as he kissed ur head and caressed ur arm. “I dont know how I managed to make u mine. I love you so much baby. I can’t afford to lose you, ever”
A/N: this idea was from one of the most amazing writer on tumblr @idkwhatimdoinghere163 , thank u so much for this idea. I hope I managed to reach ur expectations and you gotta give me some more ideas girl cuz those are amazing! ❤️
#Spotify#dr3#dr3 x reader#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo smut#f1 smut#f1 fic#f1#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#formula one#formula 1#daniel ricciardo x female reader#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel riccardo x reader#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#dr3 imagine#red bull f1#red bull racing#red bull formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 2023
407 notes
·
View notes
Text
PKMN ScarVio DLC AU ~ Possessed!Kieran
Just finished the page for my contribution to the good ol’ Toxic Chain theory :OOO
I recently finished the Teal Mask and finishing up the Indigo Disk DLC and while i really did like the fact that Kieran’s actions were all his own and makes him a much more realistic/relatable character, I am feeling a little robbed we didn't get a possessed!kieran + i really did not like the direction they took w/ Mochi Mayhem. I felt like it was WAAAY too silly/comedic for my tastes (if you liked it more power to you tho!), and wish we had more lore/backstory and involvement of Pecharunt and the Loyal 3 respectivally.
so i wanted to try killing two birds with one stone and try to mash ID and MM together somewhat! So heres some sketches and concept stuff ft. My PKMN!Violet sona. And also make this AU ANGSTY AS FUCK-
im not a comedy/crack/silly person when it comes to stories involving manipulation/mind control type of stuff because i just get second hand embarressment for those under doing wierd stuff while not aware so if your looking for a “silly haha!” AU with this type of concept ive got bad news for ya… this AU aint gonna be for you-
Starting off… my design for when Kieran is fully possessed by Pecharunt!
I still really liked the fact that Kieran was like. FULLY aware and in his own mind/body during ID; so i want to keep that in this AU too - for the most part.
id like to think that once making a deal with Pecharunt and offering himself to it in order to become stronger, the little peach would slowly feed him mochi that would “numb the pain and guilt if he ever feels doubtful.” At the time of Pecharunt’s debut to the start of ID, pecharunt is extremely weak and thus, its influence isnt as effective or strong. However, when we meet Kieran again, he’s definately beginning to change. throughout the story, we see Kieran’s spiraling descent into madness as he becomes more intimidating and cynical.
i dont have a specific spot where hed have this outfit change, but ill figure it out lol.
However, i def think it would be a bit after his panic attack/mental break down when we defeat him. Since at this point he couldnt uphold his end of the deal with Pecharunt, it has no choice: he offered his body and mind to it to get stronger, but he couldnt keep it up. So now, he has to pay the price.
(This would be right after the Ex-Champ bit - fuck you Draydon)
however, instead of telling himself to get stronger like in canon… he mumbles something indescernable and unintelligable… and then he starts… laughing?
“K-Kieran…?”
“Uh… yo, earth to ex-champion… you doin’ alright-?”
Suddenly… he glares at us… no. He glares at you, tears streaming down his face but an animalistic and crazily wide smile is plastered on his face as he stumbles back up, hugging himself while letting out what one would think is the most maniacal, despairing, crazy cackling laughter one could hear.
That's when you see it - his eyes, formally a light yellow, now a bright yet darkly sinister shade of violet-magenta. The scrunchie he was wearing began growing two strings of toxic chains that waved around like tentacles, and lifted him up in the air like stilts, purple smoke filling the area.
what was happening… whats happened to Kieran.
no, whatever that was…
Thats not Kieran.
The bottom sketch is a small scenario i had in mind!
i want pecharunt to have a larger role so here they are! After returning the teal mask to me and carmine and running off, he stumbles upon an injured and weak Pecharunt, and secretly nurses it back to health. Behind everyone’s backs the two spark a friendship/partnership!
i like to think pecharunt has good intentions and did genuinely want to help kieran get stronger, but i like to think that the toxins it gave to Kieran not only began to mess with Kieran’s mind, but with Pecharunt’s too.
how exactly? No idea just yet lol- ill figure that out later on down the line lol. Along with the loyal 3’s roles in the story as well.
Heres a few for fun and more funny sketches i made to fill up the empty space lol-
also feat. Moi, yuma and shinigami jykghhfjhfdjhygjuy-
QUICK DISCLAIMER! IM NOT SHIPPING MYSELF W/ KIERAN SINCE HES IMPLIED TO BE A TEEN AND IM A LEGAL ADULT!! the DLC came out when i was 17; almost 18 (released a few days before my bday actually!)
i like to think that when this story and AU respectively take place, Kieran is 14 while im 16 turning 17 that fall in Teal Mask (Carmine being 18 or 19?), then in Indigo Disc Kieran is 16, im 18, and Carmine is 19/20. So me and kieran are 2 years apart, while me and Carmine are 1-2 years apart.
Its mostly because id like to think me and kieran’s dynamic is similar to a close friend i have irl and wanted to write it as such while retaining the canon story too. If that makes sense lol.
And one more sady drawing when kieran is freed from Pecharunt’s control!
i think i speak for everyone that we needed a scene where we hugged kieran after all the shit he’s been through-
justice for my baby boy kieran. :,,,))
AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!
what do yall think :000
any suggestions/ideas, critiques, whatever is on your mind about this AU is appreciated!! Im gonna get back to my remnant designs lol-
#pokemon#pokemon scarvi#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon kieran#rival kieran#kieran pokemon#pecharunt#mochi mayhem#the teal mask#the indigo disk#pokemon au#villain kieran#villain!kieran#toxic chain#toxic chain au#my art <3#rain code yuma#yuma kokohead#shinigami#rain code shinigami#pkmn self insert#pokesona
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone else not understand why people are moving to cara. Like I understand it’s because ai and shit,, but like. What confuses me is as long as your art is on the internet, aslong as you chose to post your art online anywhere, doesn’t matter where, it is prone to being stolen by ai. To me ai is nothing more then when people trace your art and call it their own. Ofc I don’t want people to do it, but ultimately that will not stop them. I do have a cara account, I was the first to claim abacus. When I tried posting there a few times I’ve been met with an error message, alongside that the app is really buggy and slow. I don’t see why people feel the need to come up with new apps to post art on when you could just use tumblr, but then the argument with tumblr is that there’s no engagement. But if we all flock to tumblr like people are flocking to cara then I don’t see why engagement would be such a big issue. Even then, if engagement is your main concern with your art I feel like you should reevaluate why you are pursuing art in the first place. I had this struggle ages ago where I didn’t feel my art was worth anything because I couldn’t cap 10 likes. But I realized, my art is for me. I’m the one that should be enjoying it, and my reason for posting now is for other people to enjoy it, so if they don’t,, I really don’t care all the much. I understand it is really detouring to post ocs and to have zero engagement, but that’s just the way art is. Unless you are producing fanart consistently of shit that is made into content farms, I really don’t see how you can garner a following just doing ocs. That’s why, doing art for your own sake is more important than trying to please everyone. I can guarantee there’s atleast one stranger on the internet that will fw your stuff the way you want. And the more you post, the more the number will grow. Most of the time it’s gradual, but one goes to two, two goes to three. And maybe you’ll only get one or two. But the important thing is, there’s someone. If you feel like you have no one, remember your art is for yourself. You’ll always have one, even if that is yourself. This might all seem contradictive. But trust, only you matter when it comes to your own artwork.
This “speech”, if you can call it that, isn’t to deter people from drawing and posting their ocs. This is just to say, engagement shouldn’t matter. As long as you’re happy, that’s all the matters. Post and draw what you want aslong as it’s not straight ripping from someone else. Idc.
This whole thing was supposed to be abt Cara but it turned into a uhh,, Ted talk of sorts. I’m not saying people shouldn’t use cara, if it works for them then by all means go for it. But personally I will not be making it my main form of social media. In my opinion, it’ll be like that other art app people were using for a week before they forgot abt it, I forget the name of it but I remember the interface was a light pink, similar to Instagram,, but somehow worse.
IM GONNA SPECIFY THAT I DONT CONDONE AI STEALING PEOPLES ART EITHER,, just putting that out there because some people have a way of misunderstanding or misinterpretating things. Which is okay!! Because some people genuinely get confused and that’s alright. But like please don’t use so first handedly. With that being said, I’m just a nobody on the internet so why would you listen to me,, you won’t. But i uhh,, am gonna put that there anyways
Thanks if you read allat,, idk why you would but that’s anyways I guess😭😭😭
#artists on tumblr#fanart#art#my art#digital art#original character#original characters#rant post#art rant#ai#artifical intelligence#ai rant#uhh#digital artist#tradtional art#traditional artist#ocs#oc#instagram#cara#meta
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?
This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.
In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.
I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.
I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."
I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.
He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"
I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?
From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.
He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.
This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.
Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?
We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.
Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.
What are these acronyms?
290 notes
·
View notes
Text
tged webtoon ep 166 spoilers and thoughts that are late again sorry about that it's starting to get really cold and my hands are freezing but it's fine below cut
.
.
.
ALICIA AT THE END OF THIS EP SHES SO. PRETTY SO SO PRETTY HELP OH MY GOD IM . HEL P . HELPPPP YUOR MAJESTY UR TOO GORGOEUS
committing to the fake dating / fake engagement bit is CRAZY HELP ?? ??? HJELP ???? ? ??? WHAT IS HAPPENING
back to the top of the insanity
genuinely i am so glad that we r getting snippets of javier and alicia interacting i know its really brief but this episode rlly cemented in my mind that they're besties . they talk shit and poke fun at lloyd but also they both rlly just want him to fucking live . the besties ever
they're gonna beat the SHIT out of lloyd with so much love and faith and care and genuine hope for him and they're both gonna team up for it and lloyd cannot escape. JAVIER AND ALICIA TEAM UP IS CRAZY. I LOVE IT
also speaking of lloyd HES GOING. THRU IT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WAAAHHHHH
losing my mind at the untouched food bc i figure he's absolutely taking it just to ease the minds of his family/friends who are bringing the food to him but he cant even bring himself to actually eat it to sustain himself this fucking hruts to look at . even when he's at his lowest he doesnt want to worry people (which kind of failed but damn did he try) IM GONNA EAT MY HAND
it was really REALLY sweet to see his summons and the system message box trying to get him to get up, to live again,,, is today's ep the like tagteam episode or smth they keep teaming up on lloyd . good i need that mf to LIVE
also sorry saying again but gghghh this moment too where even when lloyd doesnt feel like eating or living, he'll do whatever he can to make those around him happy . he keeps doing that, the things he chooses to do always end up being for somebody else, not just him. it's never just for him. he doesn't really admit or realize that though god he's the most selfless bastard ive seen in my fucking life I WANT YOU TO WANT TO LIVE
AND THEN THE FUCKING. COUNT AND COUNTESS ADMITTING THAT THEY KNEW JAVIER WAS LYING GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I SHOULDVE KNOWN JAVIER REALLY IS A TERRIBLE LIAR OF COURSE THEYD FUCKING NOTICE
and at that we FINALLY see a panel of lloyd that shows at least one eye . now he knows that they know,,,,,,,
i really really like whenever the illustrator pulls stuff off like this, where we dont really See them until really hardhitting moments . for the entire time before this panel it was as if lloyd was just,,, shut down. barely even there. not being able to see his face cemented that, and then lloyd hearing the count and countess talk,,, it's like a flip of a switch, both for him and for the reader, and i really REALLY like that. god my HEARTTT GHHH
especially when the count n countess choose to believe in him anyway. to wait for the truth ghghalsdkjflahsdf their patience and their willingness to . listen for the truth my heart my heart i cant .
AND LLOYDS REACTION TO THAT I . GOD THERE HE GOES AGAIN LIVING FOR OTHERS JESUS CHRIST LLOYD GOD FUCK. EITHER WAY HE'S GOING TO LIVE HE'S GONNA LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE AAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
i need u guys to understand i started fucking shaking when i saw this
the difference in lighting and framing in these panels compared two the other shots we've had of him i feel INSANEEE WWWHWHHHH
like the one on the left god it's so SO bright now . the fact that the count and countess are waiting for him, are being so patient with him, they want the truth from him so he needs to live to give them the truth and that's just like a window being open to let the stale air out and new fresh life fresh air inside im gonna . feel sick
and the panel on the right he still looks a bit worse for wear but theres that determined look in his eyes again, they're solid and bright and warm and they're not shaking or blank and i feel so so fucking happy HES GONNA LIVE EVERYBODY HES WANTS TO LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE
taking things one step at a time, ,,,, even when its hard he's so fucking determined god ohhhhghhh my heart you can do it lloyd u can beat it!!! the summons are so sweet too they look just as determined to help him get to his feet again i feel so sick
OVERCOME!!! OVERCOME!!!! OVERCOME!!!! LLOYD!!!!!!
AND THEN WHEN. ALICIA ARRIVES. ALL OF THEIR REACTIONS HONESTLY ME FUCKING TOO I WAS SO FUCKING SHOCKED
im so so happy though im so glad things are looking up and the sillies are back lloyd lloyd lloyd you can do this alicia and javier will help you!!!! the count and countess will help you!!!!!!
step one lloyd back to himself, step two beat the shit out of fate, step three ??????, step four PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THEY GO WITH THIS IM SO EXCITED javier what do u have to say for urself. alicia u too. whose idea was this
anyway that's all from me rn i think if i get more brainworms ill add onto this post lol, sorry its not a lot! ill see yall next week (aka tmrw) (this is late lol)
#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#lynn misc#the greatest estate designer#tged lloyd#alicia magentano#lloyd frontera#my brains been running ragged so if i say smth repetitive / silly thats probably why#a LOT has happened this week!!! trying to keep cool about it!!!#i will continue posting abt tged episodes tho dw#even if theyre. like. a week late. sorry again#okays i think thats it
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
grggrgrgrg i dont know where else to put this but i dont know how to explain but i hate when everyone coddles cody its like NOOOO! like yes they shouldnt suffer a horrible punishment but who are you to say what they did is nothing! or to just blatantly just put hate to charizard because shes holding them accountable for their actions! Just because cody is your blorbo does not make what they did right! you cannot forgive them because you are not the victim! sure you can forgive them for lying to you the entire time theyve known you but well to me that also brings up the question of. well what truth have they actually told me.
im not hating on anyone specifically or anything i promise its just like NOOOOO!! STOP!!! THEYRE NOT A LITTLE BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED FROM BIG EVIL CHARIZARD!!!!!
KILL!!!
(joke)
I believe cody needs to be looked at in a realistic light. like "hey cody that was fucked up. buuuut... well youre already in a prison of your own making so there isnt much more i can do. youre already paying for your actions."
Maybe thats just my thoughts i just always feel like a feral animal like this whenever everyone is comforting them
maybe that is how i feel about cody in general on a variety of fronts though they are my chew toy <3
FOR REAL IT'S GENUINELY SO CRAZY SEEING PPL JUST GOING "that's it?" AT THE FACT THAT CODY KNOWINGLY KILLED THE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN CREATION. they did the thing that these players have literally threatened to kill EACH OTHER over. like, it's not just a one-off instance. there has been a RESOUNDING amount of support for cody in monochrome's inbox right now.
BUT that said, there ARE some people who are saying exactly what you have of, "i forgive you for lying and what you did was bad but you've already been punished for it" and even some people who do feel genuinely angry at them so it's not like EVERYONE is just blindly coddling cody. so that's good.
i'm trying my best to make it clear from a narrative perspective that what cody did was a Very Bad Thing and that charizard isn't just senselessly bullying cody over something that wasn't their fault. i know that was the false narrative that cody was fostering in peoples' heads for the past two years, so it's going to take a while for people to unlearn what cody misled them into believing and fully accept the gravity of cody's actions. charizard might be harsh but she is the voice of reason here to expose not just cody's true nature but also the hypocrisy of cody's players. it'll be fun to see more of her from now on.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Girl from the Band 2 (Dark!Jason Carverxreader)
Dark! Jason Carver, Non-con, isolation, sexism/misogyny, manipulation, fear, I prefer soft!Dark! so thats more of the direction im going in.
Y/n waited at the abandoned lunch table in the woods. It seemed like an an unsafe place but it wasnt. This is where her DnD club would me every so often to talk about their new campaign, schedules and other stuff. Sometimes Eddie would trade weed for money; not to be a pearl clutcher but Y/n denied that stuff everytime it was offered to her. She wasn't interested in any of that.
The crowd eventually gathered; everyone laughed and cherished these fleeting moments. Y/n somewhat regretted the thought she hadn't joined sooner but back then she was too scared.
Some voices from the direction of the school caused the group to look away from their plans. There stood some of the basketball team, always in their jersey's even when the season had ended.
"What are you freaks doing?" Jason asked, eyeing Eddie.
"Bro we're just playing our game. Just like you played yours'. It's no different now run along." Eddie said, his pals backing him up in unison.
While y/d knew she'd be on Hellfires side if it came to a fight, she couldn't help but feel the red-hot heat on her cheeks with Jasons boldness. He stood tall and it made him seem dominate.
Y/d cringed at her thought and put it away in the back of her mind. Embarrassed that her mind even wondered in that direction.
"Well pack it up, the boys and I are using this spot for now on." Jason said, high-fiving one of his minions.
Everyone looked to Eddie, to Jason then back to Eddie. The tension was palpable.
Eddie sighed. "Alright, we can use one of the classrooms. Maybe the utility room in the schools basement." Everyone gathered their books and bags, not in defeat but rather in a 'for now' way.
Y/n was the last one to leave and Jason seemed surprised to see the girl he was determined to make his next 'woman'. He shook his and stopped her by a light grab of her shoulder.
He swallowed nothing. "You shouldn't hang out with them. They're freaks. They're into weird shit and they could hurt you." He said, for some reason not looking her in the eye.
The physical contact is what paused Y/n completely. She wasn't use to touching me. nor men touching her. But she knew overall, this wasn't okay because he was trying to stop her from something that wasn't his business.
Y/n put her hand ontop of Jasons' and put it off of her shoulder. "I think i'll be fine, Jason. You don't even know them. You dont know me." She said, a loose smile following.
Before Y/n could leave, Jason grabbed her arm with an iron grasp. His lackies busied themselves; not concerned about his behavior towards an innocent girl.
"It's not a suggestion. I don't want to you with Eddie Munson again. Do you hear me?" Jason told y/n, getting very close to her face.
Y/n looked side to side but her attempt to see any escape or call for help was fruitless. "Okay, just let me go." She whispered.
Jason looked her firmly in the eye, trying to decide if she was lying or not. With a quick, harsh squeeze, he let go of Y/n's arm and watched her scurry away. He couldn't have his future girlfriend hanging out with the scum of Hawkins. She'd need to learn her place (with him) soon.
Jason genuinely felt entitled to the attention of a woman now that the one woman who broke his heart had moved on; with a pal of his no less.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, y/n contemplated the ways she could get out of going to school. She could fake a fever or a cold but with a nurse mother, she figured any faking she'd do would be seen through immediately.
She also didn't know about skipping class; no she wasn't a goody-two shoes but there was no reason to break rules if it isn't necessary. Being scared of Jason Carver wasn't necessary. Y/n did think about going to Eddie but that seemed, pathetic, honestly.
She and Eddie weren't great friends; she only hung out with him through Hellfire but he appeared to be a good guy. Y/n also got to thinking what could Jason Carver do?
Yeah his family had some money but no tremendous pull in the town. She straightened herself out and decided to endure the day as normal. There was no reason to be afraid.
It happened at lunch. Eddie was riled up for the campaign we'd been planning for a month. He was so excited that he jumped onto the lunch table and made a fool of himself infront of everyone. But he didn't care; he never did.
Y/n couldn't help but cover her mouth as she laughed at the long-haired man bouncing around. She admired his attitude even during intense times.
But Eddie got too loud and Jason had yelled at him to stop acting out; like a parent scolding a child.
After some childish exchange of words, Eddie simmered down and laughing at Jason. They were all giggling but y/n stopped when Jason zoned in on her. He looked.....angry at her for laughing at the silliness of her friend. Unknown to her, he assumed she was laughing at him. While hanging out with the exact people he told her not to.
He'd show her where and to whom she belongs to later.
By the time last period rolled by, Y/n felt confident. Regardless of lunch, the day wasn't bad. She felt foolish really. Thinking that Jason Carver had been serious about her not hanging with her friends anymore.
Tonight there was no Hellfire meeting and her parents had a business dinner with coworkers so the house was hers alone.
*Ding Dong *
Almost alone....
Y/n opened the door to Jason Carver. With a large smile plastered on his face. "Hey, Y/n right? I know this is sudden but can I come in?"
The only sound between them was wind blowing outside and a car or two driving by. The siren were blaring in Y/n's head to not let him in.
"Oh, well I don't think so, Jason. My parents aren't home so I shouldnt have anyone here." She said but regretted it a second later. WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT???!!? The girl yelled at herself.
Jason put his foot in the door before Y/n closed it. His smile was gone but his eyes held a confident light.
"Listen. This can go two ways. Way one, you let me in and we can go about what I have planned, peacefully or.....I'll force my way in, in every meaning of the word." Jason explained in a low, raspy voice.
Y/n finally took a complete look at Jason. His once finely combed hair was disheveled. His usually neat clothes were wrinkled. He had bags under his once bright blue eyes.
Y/n tried to shut the door with force but she was no match for a guys strength. Y/n ran to the kitchen with a plan to escape through the back door.
Jason slammed the front door shut and smirked. He felt content with option 2; this is going to be fun, he thought to himself.
Y/n reached the door knob what was grabbed by the waist and thrown back to the ground. Jason stood above her, unwavering and ready.
"I expect you to listen to my words for now on; like an obedient girlfriend should." Jason said lifting Y/n back up by the arm and dragged her to the stairs.
"Where's your room?" Jason asked, his lips in a thin line.
Y/n shook her head, "Jason please. We don't know each other, don't do this." Y/n cried while trying to free herself from Jasons grip.
He shook his, "No. I've decided you're my next girlfriend. Don't pretend to be shocked; i've seen how you look at me. You should be grateful you get to live out your school girl crush."
Jason dragged the girl upstairs, "Now tell me which room is yours. You're already getting punished for hanging out with those freaks after I told you not to; don't make me add more."
Not wanting to make him angrier, she said, "That one." while hanging her head low.
Jason led her to her bedroom; he threw her in there and locked the door behind himself.
"Take off your clothes."
#stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie munson x reader smut#jason carver#jason x reader#dark!jason carver#yandere jason carver#yandere! stranger things#tw noncon
104 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can we have some head cannons of Curly being there for pony when he wakes up screaming because he had a bad nightmare while they're sleeping over together?
one mentally unwell teen supporting another, u love to see it
•now ignoring the fact that pony woke up SCREAMING, i think curlys a heavy sleeper, but when it comes to someone hes close to, when he hears their voice, he wakes up pretty quickly, so even if pony didnt scream, he wouldve woke up at some point not so long after pony did
•it is also completely plausible that pony accidentally hit curly in the face accidentally while flailing when waking up and thats how curly woke up
•ANYYYwho, that isnt to say that curly isnt at least a lil groggy when he does wake up, hes trying so hard to understand ponys rambling, but his mind just isnt 100% there yet, so hes just telling pony to slow down and hes awake now
•dreams mean a lot in haitian culture, id like to believe that curly could give pony a deeper insight onto what his dreams could possibly mean in a light pony didnt rlly see
•curlys not soda, he cant work wonders when ponys feeling upset, curly makes so shitty jokes that dont do anything to help pony, they dont land allat well and curly awkwardly scolds himself quickly
•curly playing w ponys hair calms pony down a LOT, and soothes him to sleep sometimes as well, so u already know whats happening for the next 25 minutes
•this is one of the rare times where theyre not worries about looking tuff in front of the other, ponys genuinely scared and curly just wants to help, so this is ALSO one of the rare times where they actually cuddle
•if anyone remembers when i said that its basically impossible to get pony out of curlys grasp while they sleep, here its just flat out impossible, curlys hanging onto pony w a grip only found on superman himself and that makes pony feel safe
•now bc u said that theyre sleeping over together, im gonna assume that its at ponys house, and pony did wake up someone else, and when they enter the room to see whats wrong, curly tells them to leave, just so pony can have his space and doesnt feel like all eyes r on him
•when its morning curly doesnt carreeeee if pony says hes doin better, hes still a lil more overprotective and looks out for him, pony has a LOT of rough nights and hes seen how shitty that can make ponys mornings
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
UHM! HI this is just gonna be me rambling about some of my mutuals cause I cherish them all and everything they've done for me
no i will not be tagging them, the tumblr gods will decide if they find this or not
.
.
.
Cal, gods I have so much to say about them but they could honestly be their own post by themselves /pos. I -genuinely- wouldn't be here today if it wasnt for them, so many times have they unknowingly helped me out of horrible places in my life, and I could never put my love for them into words no matter how many poems i write in their honour. They are one of the best friends ive ever had in my life, they are the most genuine, selfless, precious people ive had the pleasure of knowing.
Maj- oh i miss talking to him so much you dont understand!!! I love love loved sending them silly stories in her askbox, their way of thinking and breaking down stories were the most delicious things! Not only that but the art??? Their ocs always enticed me and i would willing sit down and listen to them talk about them for hours if i could. They are FUCKING HALRIOUS TOO!!! They've -without even trying- have given me so many belly laughs when i needed that the most.
But i seem them in their new fandom with other moots and im so happy shes having fun /gen
GASP! MY SPOUSE!!! Fir! UGH i love them so much /p They are so encouraging, and they help me so much when it comes to stories and figuring stuff out- and they WROTE SO MUCH FOR ME???? IM SO GREATFUL FOR EVERYTHING THEY'VE MADE AND DONE FOR ME AND I WISH I COULD REPAY IT BACK 10 FOLDS! I feel so free when speaking with them, like im able to be a part of me where i cant with others and its- its so relieving.
Vaati- a genuine inspiration. I was a HUGE fan of his shifting sands series when I found it on instagram and when i say HE MOVED TO TUMBLR?! I WAS FUCKING ESTATIC!!!! Also very worried that his art got stolen but it was clear it wasnt- ANYWAYS! When I first found him, i was so ready to just give up on art -before my digital art era- because when i stared at my art all i saw was bland strokes of a pencil that could never be compared to what others had made, but when I found his comic that was FULLY TRADTIONAL I was stunned. I showed it to everyone I knew, whether they knew loz/lu or not, i needed them to see the talent and beauty I found. And he was the beginning of me starting to relearn to love traditional art again, and how much more beautiful it was to me compared to any digital piece
ARIA!!! I was in awe of her cute style- and i saw her make art for Sacred realm and i was HOOKED! Genuinely, I was like 'oop- have to be friends with her now' and though we dont talk that much, im constantly impressed with her growth even when she thinks its trash. That girl has SO much potential, and im estatic to see what she does with it. OH AND THE ART SHES MADE FOR FAROLA?! **MWAH!!!** Honestly she made me love Farola again-
Major, an unrated GEM, one of the most encouraging, heartfelt and creative person ive met on this site. She is, and will always be, someone I look to when I need a push or when im unsure about doing something (like this!) cause I know that she will never cease her amazing ability to encourage and inspire those around her.
Finky and Isa- some of the most iconic styles ive seen, its amazing to see them grow and keep their styles while still improving. AND THE AMOUNT OF ART AND IDEAS THEY MAKE??? Im stunned by how quick they are able to make their art and STILL HAVE IT BE AMAZING QUAILTY?! Witch craft I tell you!
Shade and Mossy, two people I sadly dont talk to much anymore, but were apart of one of the most important parts of my life so far. Both were such positive lights that kept pushing even when they got pulled back by others. Idk if its their stubbornness or determination that keeps them going, but whatever they have, I want it!
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi honey <3 what was going on in steve’s head while bug was driving him home from the halloween party? :) mwah!
finally have some time to respond to this blurb because a LOT was going through that silly boys brain </3
enjoy !
"i'll drive steve home." if steve had had anything to drink, those words wouldve sobered him up immediately.
however, hes stone cold sober as you stand before him, demanding him to argue with you.
he tries. he really does, but you have that glint in your eyes that steve had quickly learned meant youd get your way, no matter what.
for such a sweet and selfless person, you could be frustratingly stubborn sometimes.
steve is about tell you to just leave him alone, this is most eye contact hes made with you since july, but then you grab his hand and it all comes crashing back to steve.
your hand still fits perfectly within his, and for a second steve swears the pads of his fingers tremor when they graze against your palm, as if theyve exhaled with relief upon your touch.
when youve dragged steve outside, the tremors in his fingertips has become so uncomfortable that he has to drop your hand. hes afraid that if he doesnt, his knees will give out. after the shitty night hes had, he cant afford to spare any more of his pride.
steve sees the disappointment on your face when he drops your hand, and he feels the familiar pang in his chest. hes disappointed you again, upset you, but he figures its time hes evened the score anyways.
you hurt him first.
"not to make this awkward, but i kinda dont know where you live." you voice from the drivers seat. your tone is light, steve can hear how much youre trying to tell him without explicitly saying so.
hes tired of everyone treating him like a fucking idiot.
"make a left up here." he responds, staring out the window. he refuses to let you see him cry. nancys words are still ringing in his ears while your perfume clouds his mind.
its all so fucking confusing.
"do you want to talk about what happened tonight-"
steve once admired your selflessness, how open you are with what you feel and how deeply you feel it. then, you closed yourself off from him. shrouded your kindness from him and masked every feeling on your pretty little face without so much of an explanation. now, after finally being confronted with one another, you want to talk about fucking feelings?
yeah, sure. steve can do that.
"why do you only ever care about me when im some kicked fucking puppy?"
steve sees you flinch from the corner of his eye and the anger hes felt ever since july vanishes. "you know thats not true."
"its not?" steve remembers the look on your face that night the two of you saw jonathan in nancys bed. itd been the first time youd shown genuine sympathy towards steve, the first time hes ever truly had your attention.
then he remembers the alley, how youd begged him to not hurt jonathan and hed let his childish anger get the better of him anyways. steve remembers grabbing you and pulling you away from the others so that you wouldnt get hurt by the cops. he had just wanted to help you, and when he told you this he knew you saw the helplessness in his eyes. your lips had trembled as you looked at steve, you had cared about him, then.
you had almost stayed that day in the alley.
but then you left steve to go run after jonathan.
and this summer, steve doesnt know what happened between you and him, but you left again.
"then explain what happened this summer." steve knows himself. he knows that if you can give him any reason, anything, then hed welcome you back into his life with warm and worn arms.
your fingers tighten around the steering wheel. your eyes scan the empty road ahead and steve already knows what youll say. "i..."
nothing. you cant tell him a single fucking thing. delirious and heartbroken, steve laughs. "yeah, whatever. some real fucking friend you were."
and thats what hurts steve the most. you were his friend, you told him this yourself. minutes before you pulled away from him, youd been telling steve how much of a good friend he was.
you knew. he had told you how much hes struggled with connecting with others. you knew, and you still left.
nancy has provoked a different kind of hurt. she doesnt know steves deepest insecurities, or how hard he tries to be good enough for her. sure, steve felt a purpose being loved by her, but she couldnt have known this.
you were different.
and steve just wants to go home.
the silence settles, heavy. you take a shaky breath and steve has to pinch the skin on his arm so he doesnt reach out to hold you. "i got scared."
he cant help it. steve turns to you, your confession surprising him. "scared?"
"yeah, scared."
and just as quickly as youve opened back up to steve, you retreat.
anger rises again. "gee, y/n. that really explains a ton."
"im sorry, steve. i really am. its just... i got scared, ive never been good at letting people in. i know it doesnt excuse my actions, and you didnt deserve any of it, but you just... you scared me."
steve understands what its like to be scared of those around you, of giving someone the power to be vulnerable around them, but after everything thats happened with nancy tonight, he finds that he doesnt care anymore what vulnerability gets him. "turn right after this light."
something changes, then. steve notices your posture straighten, your jaw clenches and your knuckles are white against the steering wheel. theres a newfound spark now, a fight within you. "look, you came crashing into my life in such a violent way, and it became the best goddamn thing that happened to me."
steves heart is pounding against his chest.
your voice shakes still. he knows, he can feel it, just how hard this is for you. "there you were, spending every day at my job just to talk to me. you asked me questions about myself and noticed things no one else had before and i just... i couldnt do it."
a pause, you look over at steve and you soften your voice, lacing it with everything hes wanted from you since july. "i missed you."
i missed you.
steve whispered those words to nancy in the hallway only yesterday, but he knows he really meant them for you.
no ones ever missed him before.
"missed?" when steve was young, he remembers asking his dad if he missed him. missed implied caring for someone at some point, but long after theyve already left. to have missed someone means to have long settled the ache that followed the hurt of leaving.
"miss. i miss you,"
something opens within steves chest. he can feel it, this expanding that slowly overtakes his body. it crawls over him, clouds his brain the same way your perfume does, and steve has to close his eyes as it settles.
he feels like a little kid again, accepting whatever his father gives him.
steve is tired.
but he sees you wipe at your eyes. your hands shake, despite your best attempts of steadying them as you drive, and steve knows he could never, ever remain angry with you.
he recognizes, suddenly, how similar the two of you are. two lonely kids trying to walk everyone home.
#southelroy#ask#come home blurb#set in season 2 !#m speaks#m's writing#god i didnt mean to write so much#but this became soooo daddy issues coded#oops#all hot bitches have daddy issues
88 notes
·
View notes