#i cannot remember for the life of me which tag i used for this. so um. both i suppose
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briankang · 2 years ago
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I feel like I’m growlin’, trippin’ now here. You said it’s love? Well, you’ve got a point! Tell ’em you’ve found the only one who blew you up yeah, don’t call me honey, cuz I ain’t gon’ be no sweet girl!
You Can't Sit With Us (2021) - Sunmi
for @sunmisbf 💕
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theadventurezoneoftruth · 6 months ago
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7 years ago, I started a group chat fanfic. People seemed to like it! I sure liked writing it.
But then life happened, yada yada, and I never got around to finishing it. To be honest, I thought I never would.
But I reread it recently. While it definitely has the strong Stench of 2017 humor on it, I found that there was still a lot to like about it. And it kept receiving a lot of very nice comments.
So I finally decided to finish the damn thing. I hope y'all enjoy.
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inkskinned · 10 months ago
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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zhongrin · 11 months ago
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honey, can you…. un-sick me please?
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© zhongrin | 2023  ✼  no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡
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✼ characters ┈ zhongli, al haitham, wriothesley, neuvillette, diluc
✼ tags ┈ gn!reader, fluff, crack, 'puppy' nickname used (wriothesley), you’re sick but nothing life-threatening (common cold/flu/fever), they’re all just so soggy for you
✼ a/n ┈ i did change my formatting recently, yes. i like this one better methinks hehe
ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)  ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)
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“dear, i assure you, the ‘passing on the sickness by kissing’ method has never been proven to work... ah, please don’t give me such downtrodden eyes, you know i cannot help but give in when you look so saddened…”
zhongli was ever so patient with your whininess, clinginess, and overall annoying (your words, not his) self when you were sick with this kind of fever. he personally thought it was adorable, the way you insisted on following him around, asking to be pampered and spoiled in such a vulnerable moment…
… and boy, did he spoil you rotten.
though his mortal vessel is incapable of catching mortal diseases, he had seen the ever-evolving medical treatments throughout the millenia to know that your request to ‘kiss me so i can heal faster’ was meant to go unfulfilled. but how could he refuse you when you look so cute? he sighed fondly and ended up peppering you with kisses all over your flushed face, a gentle smile curling his lips when you giggled and clung to him even tighter in response.
anything to soothe his treasure.
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“you’re delirious. go back to bed.”
your boyfriend might sound blunt and mean, yet the way he cradled your sickly self carefully and the gentleness in which he tucked you back into bed behind the blankets was everything but uncaring. al haitham was as complex as the books he read, but if you were thorough enough, you would be able to see the worried lines creasing his eyebrows and the turmoil behind his usually impassive green eyes fringed with bright terracotta lines.
al haitham became a mirror of his grandma ever since your body proceeded to shut down on you. he would make you soup and helped you eat it when you couldn’t muster the energy to do it yourself, and he fussed over you in his own way. admittedly, he had secretly sneaked in some herbs - grown with the help of his dendro vision - into said soup, which he read would aid you in your recovery… but that was a secret he shall keep to himself.
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wriothesley looked torn between wanting to laugh at you or being incredibly worried if the fever was affecting you too much. he opted to shake his head with a chuckle and hoisted you up into his arms before tucking you back to bed despite your feeble protests.
“sigewinne told you to take plenty of rest, remember? you’ll get ‘un-sick’ed soon enough if you just listen to her, you silly puppy.”
your whines and pouts did nothing to convince him otherwise. your beloved seemed intent to keep you on the bed. he was very much tempted to threaten you with a promise to cuff yourself to the bed if you keep being stubborn, but he decided not to. instead, he stayed by your bedside like a loyal hound until the medicine kicked in and you fell into a deep slumber.
“let's have a picnic under the sun when you recover, yeah? but for now, let me just guard you while you're at your most vulnerable, sweetheart.”
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neuvillette, the infamously aloof and diligent iudex, was anything but austere when it came to you. one might say he takes his role as your husband more seriously than his role as the chief of justice - and considering his accomplishments as the latter, it was an understatement to say that he excelled as your lover.
the day you got sick, rain fell throughout fontaine, persistent and seemingly neverending. it mattered not if it was just a common cold. you might as well be on your deathbed judging from the saddened gaze of your dearest’s sharp eyes and the way he was calling upon all doctors in fontaine to check up on you. even when you tried to lighten up his somber mood with your words, he merely grasped your hands tighter and brought them to his forehead, silently vowing to do all he could to make you healthy again.
“it is maddening that i do not have the power to heal humans, but rest assured that i will ensure that you can recover in the fastest and most efficient way possible, my love.”
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the only time master diluc would be present in the kitchen is when 1) it’s a special day to you or the both of you, or 2) you’re cooking, or 3) you’re sick.
and currently, you’ve fallen ill from your recent adventure of dancing in the rain with your beloved. it was an addition into the romantic moments which the two of you would no doubt engrave in your hearts, yet while his pyro vision had subconsciously kept your lover’s body temperature from droppimg, it failed to do the same to you - hence why you were left with a bad case of flu and sore throat.
still, being sick while being diluc’s lover had its perks: for one, there were the maids who would take a good care of you, and they were always so considerate of your needs, especially when you were in this condition. but the best part would have to be your devoted red haired man doting after you like an overly attached falcon, personally taking it upon himself to nurse you back to full health. he was ever so patient with you, chuckling when you babble nonsensically, brain fogged and loose-lipped.
“yes, dear. i shall take it upon myself to ‘un-sick’ you. now, it’s time for your medicine. i’ll help you sit up... my love, don’t make that face… i promise to give you a forehead kiss if you finish the medicine.”
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✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ) ┈ @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sunnshineflxwer | @yuutasbabe | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @marina-and-the-memes | @mixed-kester | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @cakeboxie | @crystalflygeo | @ciexuvia | @illaasya | @celestewritestoomuch | @pams-comfortzone | @spidermanluvr444 | @ourstrawberryclouds | @ryuryuryuyurboat
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mntozakii · 4 months ago
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pairings: jeno x reader
i miss baek hyunwoo and hong haein so much 😪 please enjoy this cheap copy of queen of tears but make it jeno
tags: breeding kink brr, dry humping, unprotected sex, creampie, established relationship
note: not proofread yet so here goes nothing,,, lmk what u think !!
your grandfather owns the largest department store in the country, it comes with perks such as doing internship under your boyfriend’s department.
legal director jeno who rarely gets to see you in the office so he makes sure to send you home everyday, he waits in his car as he watches you cutely stomps to him. as soon as you get inside, you kicked off your heels and took off your coat before he starts driving.
“baby, can you believe mr. park made fun of me because i don’t know how to use a coffee machine?” oh, that must be the reason why you seem so upset, jeno softly caresses your thigh as he listens to your grumbles about your supervisor.
“there’s no way everyone in that office knows how to use one, right?” you turn around to your boyfriend, he can only chuckle hearing your question. his dearest girlfriend can be a little out of touch but jeno likes that you are always willing to listen and learn from him. in fact, you did your first ever grocery shopping with jeno. he was beyond baffled when he found out that you never do one, your family has people who keep the fridge restocked all the time.
“princess, most people know how to use a coffee machine.” jeno whispers softly before taking your hand and kisses your knuckle. he doesn’t blame you though since you practically get everything done by your maids.
“it’s okay baby, i will teach you” jeno squeezes your hand and continues to drive. you love that jeno always teach you things that you don’t know, he is always patient and kind with you.
it is friday and you always stay over at his place during the weekend. your family is not exactly happy with your decision to date him but they cannot do much, not when your grandfather defends your love life decision.
once jeno arrives home, he wastes no time to pull you closely to his body and showers you with kisses. his briefcase falls on the floor as he carries you to his room, he gently put you down before going tsk-tsk over your almost inappropriate office outfit. jeno just hates how the female staffs talk about you and how the male staffs gawk at your body like a predator.
“baby, you need to stop wearing short skirts to the office, the hr department wouldn’t like it” jeno mumbles as he takes off his tie before wrapping it around your neck like a collar, your heart beats in anticipation when jeno unbuttons your white blouse and removes each piece of clothing from your body then undresses himself.
jeno lets you to straddle him as he admires your beautiful face, he lets out a small laugh seeing the dainty diamond necklace. few months into the relationship, he remembers spending three months worth of salaries for your birthday gift as an attempt to impress you. although you seem to be happier with the really big jellycat bunny he gifted, the same bunny that is always on his bed whenever jeno fucks you into oblivion.
jeno fondles with your thighs as he lets you to take over, you play with his fresh undercut while you slowly grind your clit against his hardening cock. jeno smiles when he hears your breathy moans turns into a pathetic whine, you are going crazy with the constant poking from his tip against your sensitive bud.
you bit the inside of your cheek as you try to compose yourself, jeno hums when he notices you’re no longer rubbing yourself on him. before he says something, you quickly kiss him to shut him off. you know that he doesn’t like seeing you delay your orgasm, he loves watching you crumble. he will only delay your pleasure when he wants to punish you (which rarely happens).
“baby— ‘m too sensitive” you pout when he shakes his head in disapproval, jeno taps his fingers against your thigh as he counts to three.
“one”
“two”
you give a little whimper of protest before you start to rub yourself against him again, you heave out a sigh when your throbbing core glide on his veiny length. jeno looks down at the adorable sight of you trying to put his dick into your cunt, he playfully pinches your clit.
“let me do it for you, princess” jeno kisses your lips sweetly as he lines up his cock on your dripping pussy, he pulls you down to sit on him as his cock sinks inside of your hole.
“so fucking tight and warm” jeno mumbles as he feels your walls pulse around him, he rubs your clit in a circular motion and chuckles when you cries for more. your boyfriend holds you by your hips and thrusts up into your cunt as his thumb focuses on the tiny button of yours, your nails dig deeper into his shoulder as his tip kisses your cervix repeatedly. you try to push his hand away but he distracts you with a kiss,
“keep your hands off or i’ll tie them up” jeno warns before he gives a hard thrust into your dripping pussy, loud squelching noises fills the room as he keeps on fucking you. he flicks your clit again and again before giving a deep thrust into your poor pussy, he moans out when you let out a tiny squirt.
“fuck baby, does it feel that good, hmm?” jeno asks as he continues to fuck you in the same pace to reach his high, you can’t even reply to him and just nod lazily as he abuses your sensitive hole. jeno lets out a deep grunt as he shot warm ropes of semen inside of you, he pulls you to lay downside on the bed with him.
“you’d look so beautiful carrying my babies” jeno mumbles as he caresses your tummy, he just wants to breed you and make you a mommy. he pulls out to see his cum oozes out of your pussy, he groans before warming his cock inside of you again. it takes every strength of him to not start fucking you, he kisses the blade of your shoulder instead.
“should i get off the pills?” you playfully ask and laugh when he pinches your cheek. it is fun to tease jeno about his kink, he is so shameless about it.
“my baby— seriously, don’t play into my fantasy, it’s breaking my heart” jeno mumbles as he hugs you tightly. jeno knows that it’s still a long way before marriage, he also knows that your parents won’t approve it easily so he can’t get his hope up yet.
maybe someday, jeno gets to start a family with you.
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cutielando · 6 months ago
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when in vegas | l.n.
social media au
synopsis: in which they shouldn't be left alone when in Vegas
my masterlist
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liked by yourusername, alex_albon and 3,291,574 others
landonorris Vegas baby tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i love traveling with you <3
landonorris i love you 🫶🏻
mclaren Let's go!🧡 liked by yourusername and landonorris
mclaren also, please, BEHAVE - PR team
landonorris we'll try
yourusername i'll keep him under control
landonorris you'll be too busy to think about that 😈😈😈😈
mclaren LANDO
alex_albon please be good
landonorris not making any promises
yourusername sorry alex 🫣
oscarpiastri ...my room is next to yours...
yourusername 🫣🫣🫣
landonorris i suggest earplugs 🤭
oscarpiastri ...
charles_leclerc someone should watch over you two
yourusername not you, that's for sure
charles_leclerc why not?
landonorris you're worse than we are
charles_leclerc ...true
adam_norris_pure_electric good luck, my boy!!
landonorris thanks dad ❤️
ciscanorris take care of him yourusername
yourusername i will!!! ❤️
user1 you just know they are going to be WILD
user2 I cannot wait for the content abut these two
user3 THE COMMENTS
user4 they’re spending his birthday in Vegas together i’m not well 😭😭😭
user3 my man is getting LUCKY
maxfewtrell you seem to have lost my invite. again
landonorris nah, i just didn't want you here
yourusername babe, be nice please
maxfewtrell this is him being nice.. some friend you are
landonorris ;)
user5 max and lando bickering like siblings will forever be my favorite thing in the world
user6 NOT MCLAREN LITERALLY SCOLDING HIM HAHAHA
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liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri and 2,974,186 others
yourusername being by your side and watching you do what you love the most has been my greatest accomplishment. i am so proud of everything that you do and i'm forever thankful that you chose me to be a part of your journey. happy 24th birthday baby, i love you so much and i cannot wait to see what the future holds for us ❤️ tagged: landonorris
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landonorris i wouldn't even think about doing life with anybody else. i love you so much 😩❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️
landonorris can’t wait to party with you tonight 😈
yourusername BEHAVE
landonorris 😈no
mclaren Happy birthday, Lando! We are proud of everything you do and we hope to continue being your family for many more years to come. Cheers! 🧡🧡
landonorris thank you 🧡
oscarpiastri happy birthday, mate. take it easy tonight
landonorris never 😈
oscarpiastri 🥲
yourusername i’ll keep him under control, don’t worry
landonorris you’ll be too busy to do that 😈😈
oscarpiastri THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP
georgerussell63 happy birthday, mate! 🥳 can’t wait to crush you on the track
landonorris thanks mate. you wish you had my pace
georgerussell63 your ego is through the roof
yourusername so is yours
user1 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE DRIVER 🧡🧡🧡🧡 WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH
user2 he’s all grown up 🥹🥹
user3 i remember when he was just a little guy starting out in F1 and now look at him 😭😭😭😭
user4 he’s so fine and talented and just UGH SO PERFECT 😩😩😩 happy birthday king 🥳🥳
user5 i love their relationship so much ❤️❤️ she keeps him grounded and he’s so much happier now
maxverstappen1 happy birthday 🎉 can’t wait to get drunk tonight
landonorris 😈😈😈😈
yourusername oh Jesus
kellypiquet we’re in for a very long night
charles_leclerc i heard there’s a party?
landonorris you’re not invited
charles_leclerc :(
yourusername don’t listen to him, you’re invited and we’d love it if you came 😊
landonorris we would?
yourusername shut up
charles_leclerc yay!! 🥳🥳
mclaren if someone could please keep an eye on them, we would really appreciate it - PR team
carlossainz55 consider it done
landonorris we’re not children, you know
mclaren you certainly act like children
yourusername they’re kinda right, you know…
landonorris shh
maxfewtrell happy birthday mate. looks like you made it another year
landonorris thanks. you know you can't get rid of me
maxfewtrell no matter how hard i try
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liked by f1wags, yoursister and 28,473 others
formula1gossip MARRIAGE ALERT⁉️⁉️ Reports are saying that Lando Norris and long-time girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have tied the knot last night during his birthday bash in Las Vegas? What do you guys think? 👀
view all 7,381 comments
user1 tbh i hope it's true, they're amazing together😩
user2 i saw yoursister in the likes 👀👀👀👀
user3 yoursister GIRL WHAT DO YOU KNOW🫣
yoursister i know nothing
user3 SUCH A LIAR HAHAHA I LOVE IT🥲
mclaren sigh...🥲
user5 BAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS AMAZING
user6 this is basically the confirmation we needed
user7 i suddenly understand why everyone keeps saying they are the biggest PR nightmare 😭😭
user8 this is the most Lando thing ever
user5 for real, like this seems the kind of wedding Lando would have
user4 i can just imagine the earful Cisca is probably giving the both of them for doing this 😭😭😭
user2 she is so gonna tear them a new one hahahaha
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liked by georgerussell63, ciscanorris and 4,291,857 others
yourusername & landonorris we got married last night. we don't remember much, but it was the best decision we have ever made. grateful to be starting this journey together ❤️
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mclaren Congratulations!!🧡
landonorris thanks admin 😊
yourusername also, we're sorry for the nightmare we've caused the PR department 🫢
mclaren you're cute, we'll let this one slide - PR team
georgerussell63 wild night, but happy for you guys ❤️ liked by yourusername and landonorris
maxverstappen1 i don't even remember this happening
yourusername you were drunker than everyone, you couldn't even remember your name 😂
maxverstappen1 that's not true 😠
kellypiquet you danced naked in front of the wedding venue singing "Viva Las Vegas"
alex_albon for 20 minutes straight
landonorris not the sight I wanted to remember from that night
georgerussell63 me too
alex_albon me 3
charles_leclerc me 4
carlossainz55 me 5
maxverstappen1 OK I GET IT
ciscanorris my children ❤️ you're lucky i love you
yourusername we're sorry ❤️❤️ we promise to have a proper wedding when we get back
landonorris anything for the Mrs.
yourusername 🤭OH
oscarpiastri congrats guys, thanks for taking it easy on me last night with the noise 🥳
landonorris we were too drunk
yourusername you got off easy, pastry
oscarpiastri a win is still a win
user not both of them bullying poor oscar 😭😭
alex_albon never thought you would be the first one of us to get married
yourusername we didn’t either
landonorris what can i say, i love surprising people
maxfewtrell you guys getting married was definitely not on my bucket list for the year
yourusername but you loved it nonetheless
maxfewtrell i'm just grateful you got him to settle down
landonorris she is something else
yourusername 🤭
user1 YAYAYAYAYAAY 😩😩😩
user2 MY FAVORITE COUPLE GOT MARRIED 😭😭
user3 they are so precious 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️
user4 CONGRATS ❤️❤️❤️
user5 our favorite WAG is officially HERE TO STAY ❤️❤️
yoursister mom is mad you got married without us
yourusername i’m sorry :((
landonorris kinda my fault, but don’t worry. we’ll have a proper wedding soon!!
yourmother you better.
yourusername MOM, be nice to your son-in-law
yourmother don’t push it, young lady
landonorris yes ma’am 🫡🫡
francisca.cgomes a truly wonderful night 🥳 CONGRATULATIONS DARLINGS!!!❤️❤️❤️
yourusername we love you !!! ❤️
lilymhe i’m sorry i couldn’t be there, but i’m really happy for you guys !! ❤️
yourusername don’t worry, you’ll come to our other wedding ❤️
user6 imagine saying OTHER WEDDING 😩😩
user7 i cannot wait to see their wedding 😭😭❤️
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 381,573 others
mclaren Mr. and Mrs. Norris everyone! Even though their wedding came as a surprise to us as well, we could never be mad at these two! 🧡 tagged: yourusername and landonorris
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yourusername we love you guys !! 🧡🧡
landonorris thanks for the papaya post-wedding cake
mclaren was it delicious?
yourusername it was 🤩
user1 not McLaren posting them 😭😭
user2 they are just one big happy family🥹🥹
user3 MY PARENTS😩❤️❤️
charles_leclerc you're so milking this wedding
landonorris fame is fame
yourusername excuse me? 😠
charles_leclerc great job making her mad from day 2
landonorris you know i didn't mean it like that babe !!
yourusername you're treading on thin ice, mister
georgerussell63 how did y/n, the down-to-earth one, agree to this?
yourusername vodka might have been involved in my decision making process 🤐
landonorris and my good looks also played a part
georgerussell63 good to know that's all it takes
carmenmmundt don't get any ideas
maxfewtrell where is my slice of cake?
landonorris lost in the mail
maxfewtrell ...
yourusername don't worry max, i saved you a slice
landonorris i thought that was extra for me :((
maxfewtrell get your head out of your arse for once, mate
mclaren we'll get you another cake landonorris
user4 the way he has the McLaren staff wrapped around his little finger amazes me 🫣
user5 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND😭😭😭😭😭
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liked by pietrapilao, mclaren and 8,392,817 others
yourusername & landonorris due to popular demand, we present to you, again, Mr. and Mrs. Norris
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mclaren Congratulations guys!🧡🧡 liked by yourusername and landonorris
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zbrownceo Congratulations to my boy Lando, I hope you and Y/N have a wonderful life together!🧡
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yourusername we appreciate everything you’ve done for us Zak!!🧡
zbrownceo Thank you for taking care of our boy 🧡
user3 ZAK CALLING LANDO “HIS BOY” 😭😭
user4 YOUR HONOR, you don’t understand how in love i am with them 🥹🥹🥹
maxverstappen1 thankfully i remember this wedding
yourusername thank you for making an effort max
landonorris surprising on all fronts
francisca.cgomes OMG YOU LOOKED SO GOOD 😭😭😭 so grateful to have been by your side on your special day ❤️❤️
yourusername OH MY LOVE ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for everything you did for me ❤️❤️❤️
lilymhe truly such a magical night ❤️❤️ so happy for you guys
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alex_albon i still can't believe you're married
landonorris bro, we've had 2 weddings, you better start believing
yourusername stop living in denial, alex
yoursister ❤️❤️❤️ if he hurts you, i will fight him
yourusername he won't. if he does, i'll fight him myself
landonorris ...so much violence...
user5 i can now die happy❤️
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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year ago
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Safe Keeping | 2
Part 1 2 3
"What say you, lady? Don't you think the Hound would make a fine husband? He would protect you, yes, and you would bear him many babes." I curtsy again but this time, my voice falters when I speak, "I- I think he would," I turn to my left, "Lord Sandor would make a fine husband... a fine father."
Sandor Clegane x Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, forced marriage, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut (dub con, primal play, PIV, rough sex), emotional unavailability, The Hound being abrasive, canon typical casual misogyny, baby fever, typos, etc.
A/N: you guys, i dont want to edit the summary from p1 so i wont. also for future me here are the asks i got for this fic [x] [x] [x] which is like 🤯 cos i thought id get 5 notes on this tbh HAHAH originally posted on ao3 but felt like posting it on here
Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @otteropera @poisonsage808 @glitterandgoldfinds
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I refused to leave my chambers when I woke.
Not only had I cried myself to sleep, but I had woken with puffy eyes and ended up crying all over again. I was glad that my doting handmaiden was so fiercely loyal to me. Lucy didn't think my weeping childish. She was understanding and eternally on my side. I am immensely grateful for it; I don't know what I would have done without her.
She helped me bathe and dress and eat, then entertained me with gossip from the servants. For a while that was enough.
As the day passed though, my thoughts muddled and left me restless. I could not do anything but obsess over the fact my husband left me after wifing me up.
"Do you think he will come back tonight?" I mutter as I stare blankly at my reflection on the mirror.
Lucy ceases combing my hair and takes my chin in her fingers. Paired with a hand on my shoulder, she silently urges me to straighten my back from my seat. I do just that. She smiles at me through the mirror, "my lady, if you wish it, I will look for him and make him come to you."
I release a breath, "don't be ridiculous."
"I am not being ridiculous," she sets the brush down, "I am being serious."
I feel my throat tighten. My lips quiver but I refuse to break down in tears again. I shake my head rapidly, unwilling to speak, for I knew I would crack if I did.
Lucy frowns in concern then kneels down on my side, grabbing my hand, "my lady, I would die for you."
I screw my eyes shut and break into a whine, "please-"
"I owe you my life," she clasps my hand with hers and brings it to her cheek, "you freed me from my chains. You clothed me, fed me, and showed me kindness none of my masters have ever shown me before," she looks up at me with a solemn expression then repeats, "I would die for you."
I shake my head and lean into her, "live for me, Lucy. I've forgotten what's it was like before you and I don't want to remember."
She kisses my hand and presses her forehead on mine before standing, "I shall do as you command."
She stands behind me and gathers my hair back. She strokes my locks and offers me a smile through the mirror once more. I smile back at her this time around.
The comfort she offers me finally seeps through me as she massages my shoulders.
"I pray the gods will swiftly bless me with a child so that I will have other things to do than await my husband so helplessly and forlorn."
"Well, you said that he pleasured you," Lucy tilts her head, "women who have not been pleasured still bea-
Lucy is cut off by the crashing open of the door. She and I both whip back, hearts in our mouths as we stare at our Lord Clegane, who was staring right back at us.
"What's wrong with you?" he demands. The metal of his armor clanks. I eye the one Lucy tidied to the side, the one I undid the night before, and turn back to him. His brown eyes look at me with such intense accusation.
I feel my hands tremble. I cannot for the life of me find the words to speak. 
What did he even mean? How could he ask me this?
"No one has seen you all day," he says, "have you not left this room once?'
"She 'asn't," Lucy snaps, "milady has been feeling-"
"I wasn't talking to you, wench," the Hound does not turn to her when he says this. His eyes are very much still fixed on me, "I'm talking to my wife."
My wife. I look away. That's right, all that I am now is forfeit to him.
I gasp and turn back when I hear him marching over. Lucy places a protective hand on my shoulder and I find myself cowering into her touch. I clench my jaw and gulp when he stops in front of me.
He gazes upon me for the longest second of my life. He furrows his brows, "what's wrong with your fa-"
I flinch when he reaches out to my cheek.
Instantaneously, Lucy tightens her grip on me and blocks him, and Sandor cuts himself off and recoils before he can even touch my skin. He steps a few paces back then clenches his hand as if he'd gotten burnt.
We both evade each other's gaze. Sandor's eyes finally land on Lucy, "has she been crying?"
Lucy's blood boils. She hisses, "yes," then harshly pronounces, "milord."
Sandor turns away and twitches. He rolls his shoulders back and stretches his hands. He knocks on his chest plate. He looks to no one when he asks, "are you hurt?"
Lucy takes no care in masking her scoff or sigh. I take her arm and she watches me shake my head disapprovingly.
I do not look at anyone when I reply either, "I cannot say I'm not... lord husband."
A thick silence builds in the room within a moment.
When I dare too look at the Hound, he is already looking at me and suddenly speaks, "leave us, wench."
I turn to Lucy. She does not move an inch.
I give her an urging shake, but she is steadfast in her spot. Our Lord Clegane turns to her and grinds his teeth, "you will find I do not make habit of repeating myself."
I shoot up from my seat when Lucy presses forward and quips, "and you will find that I will not allow you to treat milady like this."
"Lucy!" I admonish, yanking her back.
Lucy glares daggers at him as I attempt to pacify and persuade her to leave us. Her eyes do not leave him as I sweep her out the room. I instruct her to walk around the gardens for a while then close the door after.
I press my back against the wooden surface as I look back to the man I was now alone with.
Sandor watches me expectantly. I do not say a word, for I did not know what he wanted to hear.
He finally breaks the silence, "you walk well enough."
I am dumbfounded by his choice of words. I dare not respond when I feel my lips quiver; instead, I nod quickly.
Sandor deeply furrows his brows. He shifts on his spot and chances a step in my direction, "why didn't you come out your room then?"
I lick my lips and shake my head. I turn away from him and mutter, "do I appear like I am in the state to be walking around when I look like this?"
"Like what?" he draws nearer.
I whip my head, "THIS!"
Sandor stops in his tracks. He looks at me, expressionless, "this what?"
I scoff in disbelief, feeling tears immediately soak my face. I whisper, "look at me."
"I am, with both eyes."
"And you see nothing?" I mutter shakily, "feel nothing?'
"Should I feel something?"
My chest sinks; it feels like it's caving in. He might as well gut me and spit on my bones. I turn to my feet and wipe my cheeks, "no. I suppose not."
Sandor curses under his breath. He rips at his collar, suddenly feeling his armour weigh down on him. He feels unbelievably hot. He clears his throat, "it hurts."
I look up at him.
"It hurts the first time, usually," he clarifies, "or in times you're not wet enough." He nods, "you were wet enough."
My entire being burns at his words, at his nonchalance. My face is searing in embarrassment and shame.
I want to scream at him, want to hurtle into him and demand to know why he left me, why he was so removed, but then I find the answers in my head. It dawns on me that he acted carelessly because he didn't care. He didn't want this. He didn't want me. All of it was forced. And so I hold my tongue.
Instead, I calmly explain, "my hurt is not bodily, Sandor."
Sandor's stomach rolls at the sound of his name.
"I was," I turn to space between us, "hurt that you left me. And-" I shake my head as tears rush from my eyes, "I've realized now that it's wrong of me to be."
I put a brave face on in spite of my weeping and hold his stare. The man is as stoic and hard as ever. I scoff at myself for feeling this way.
"Worry no longer, Hound," I open the door, "I will not cause you trouble again."
I step back and make way for him to exit.
He looks at me for what feels like an eternity then marches out the door.
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"And have you-"
Lucy and I gasp and turn at once.
"-named it yet, Lady Clegane?"
I chuckle guilty, "Lord Varys."
The man nods to me in regard, "good morrow to you."
I curtsy to him, as does my handmaiden. Lucy lifts her skirt as inconspicuously as possible in hopes to block what was behind her.
Varys catches this and waves his hands, "there be no need for that, my dear. The stray is an obedient one, isn't it?"
I share a look with Lucy before we step back and reveal the dog behind us. Daisy was panting and wagging her tail. She had her front paw bent, for it had been broken and healed that way. I had a maester examine it. In the end, he said it was pointless to put a split because it would not fix her leg and Daisy just kept chewing it anyway.
Daisy closes her mouth and sniffs the man.
"Ah," Varys smiles at the creature, "may I pet it?"
Lucy nods and eagerly explains, "she's Daisy; she is incredibly sweet, milord."
Varys cheerfully scratches the crown of the dog's head.
Though he laughs, my own face contorts into an opposite expression, "please make no note of it to my husband."
Varys looks at me exaggeratedly, as though he was offended.
I continue, "she makes me happy."
"One does not need to be told that to know," he presses his lips together. He links his hands, "I imagine you must be rather heavyhearted since the arrival of your womanly bleeding."
I drop my gaze upon hearing this. The master of whispers truly knew all. Lucy turns to me, then back to him, "milord, it's not proper to mention these things."
Varys measures my reaction before turning to Lucy, "yes. I suppose one such as myself has no business speaking of such things." He raises a finger, "still, if you should ever need assistance with that or your stray, know that my services are available to you, my lady."
I smile at him and nod, "I thank you for it, Lord Varys."
With that, he walks away.
"Do you think he will tell him?" Lucy asks as she grabs my arm.
I sigh and turn Daisy.
I've only had her for few days but she's given me purpose. I named her Daisy because she turned up from a bush of daisies while I read in the gardens. I was shocked, puzzled with how she got there, and a little scared she would bite me. When I noticed her injury, I figured she must be very weak and offered her food. She had my heart the moment she licked my fingers.
It was fate, I figured. I had not read in the gardens since the Hound berated me for it, and she came out of nowhere. When I imagine what would have happened to her if anyone else found her, I dread to think of the fact she could have been struck dead. The gods must have sent her to me, to remedy my sorrow and fill in for the absence of my Hound.
I was meant to save Daisy, and she was meant to save me.
I shake my head, "I'll have someone keep her tonight."
The Hound stops in his tracks when he witnesses what he does from afar. A blazing fury engulfs him as he watches two women walk away. The guard, who was spoken to, ogle their figures as they did.
Sandor laughs under his breath, but of course, nothing about this situation was funny to him.
He immediately charges when the guard is left alone, stupidly attending to an open crate-- he'll fucking bash it into his skull.
The guard goes back to his post and spots the approaching giant. At first, he is unfazed by the Hound but fear quickly finds him when he realizes he was heading straight for him.
He does not speak. The Hound simply grabs him by the chest plate, lifts him up and slams him on to the stone wall. He was angry-- worse, he was irrational.
"Why was she speaking to you?!" he snaps, "what business do you have with her?!"
The guard does not waste a second in spilling his guts, "Lady Clegane paid me to watch her dog!" He sounded like he was about to piss his pants.
"What?!" he seethes.
"The crate! The crate! There's a dog in the crate!" 
Sandor shoves him away and walks toward the crate. Lo and behold, the Hound sees the mutt, fur a light shade of brown, tongue out as it pant, right arm curled up.
He draws his sword.
Lucy and I head back to my chambers after eating supper. Our chattering is abruptly cut when he step in and see the Hound's hulking figure.
To say I am shocked is an understatement. I am terrified. He has not come to my chambers since the day after our wedding night, and now, here he was after Lord Varys confronted me. I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat, "my lord, I-"
"Don't you have one too many dogs now?" he growls.
Lucy is unable to hide the sound that leaves her mouth. My eyes begin to water as trepidation rips up my neck. I whisper, "Sandor."
Sandor flinches. He huffs, "what were you doing with it? You playing dolls with it, girl?"
"I saved her!" I explain with a shaky voice. "I fed her, gave her water-"
"Its leg is broken. You keep it in a crate. It's mercy for me to kill it."
Lucy gasps. My stomach drops and I run up to him, "no. Please. Please, tell me you didn't-"
I start when I see something move on the bed. I let out a shaky breath when a bark echoes in the room. I had never been more relieved to see Daisy than now.
Sandor growls, "OFF!" He marches to the bed and charges at the her. I shriek and grab his arm, holding him back. Of course, I nearly shoot forward for what was my strength against his? Still, he turns back to me and huffs. Daisy jumps down the bed and comes to my side.
Lucy grabs her and leads her to the corner of the room.
I continue to beg, "please, don't kill her. Please, I beg of you."
"You pay the guards to watch the mutt," Sandor yanks his arm away; the action hurts my hand. He seethes, "you're better off selling the bitch to a butcher as pig food."
I wail, "it was only this time! I have kept her with me since before." I drop to my knees, "please, I will ask nothing more of you," hot tears burn down all the way down to my chest. "I beg that you just let her live."
Sandor steps back and looks down at me. I can see how pathetic he thinks I am at this moment, and yet I find myself unable to care.
"You will ask me nothing more, aye?" he scoffs. His lips curl, "don't you want a child?"
My expression drops.
"You would rather save the bitch than have a babe?"
I am unable to speak. 
Why is he doing this to me?
"Well?!" he demands.
I screw my eyes shut when some of his spit sputters to my face. I turn to the floor, "she's been keeping me company in your absence. She's-"
"Ah, so that's why she feels so comfortable on the bed. You sleep with her."
I look up at him, about to explain that she sleeps on the floor and has never done that before. I do not have the chance.
"Well then keep your stray," he scoffs, "and have it fuck a babe into you."
The Hound storms off right after.
He grips his hand and his hilt as he marches away.
He should have killed it, he shouldn't have hesitated. The only reason he did was because it didn't flinch at his sword. The mutt was so dumb it had no fear. It even propped on the crate and tried sniffing the steel. Brainless.
His insides feel like they were boiling.
He knew the little girl would weep if he killed it, yet he didn't and there were tears anyway. He curses loudly. It reverberates in the hall.
He should have killed it.
Now it was too late.
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"I see you make friends even with stray cats now, my lady."
I look over my shoulder after the cat I was petting runs off because of the voice. Lord Baelish comes up to me, sparing a quick glance to the orange feline that jumped down the wall. He turns back to me with a smile, "pardon me, Lady Clegane, I did not mean to frighten the kitty."
I shake my head, returning a soft smile. I wrap my arms around myself, still not entirely used to the light fabric and freeness of the dresses I've been wearing lately, "it's alright, my lord. The cats do not like people."
Baelish walks in front of me and smiles wider, "they must see you their goddess then."
I shake my head and give a soft chuckle.
"Where is your hound?" he asks.
I stiffen.
He clarifies, "I mean the one with the broken leg."
I release a breath and look out to the view, "I had my handmaiden bathe her."
"Mmm," Baelish looks out to the view with me, "thus why you sought the cats."
A breeze brushes past us.
I do not turn to him, but I know he turns to me. He speaks, "one such as you should not be left alone or unaccompanied."
"Why? Would you hurt me, Lord Baelish?"
He chuckles, "and risk getting mauled by the Hound? I would not."
I watch as a flock of birds fly overhead.
"Other things perhaps," he says.
I do not respond to him.
A moment passes with nothing but looking and silence.
I feel his hot breath when he sighs deeply, "I remember clearly the day I first met you."
Baelish speaks my first name and it's enough to finally make me to turn to him. In truth, my name sounds foreign to me. Who I was has been long overshadowed by Lady Clegane... or, more accurately, the Hound himself.
"You were a vibrant flower. Your fragrance wafted through the room the moment you stepped in," he says, taking one step closer. "Being around you was a privilege; conversing with you, a prize."
I blink at his words, taking in the lines of his face, "and now," I clasp my hands together, "I've withered away, have I?"
His Baelish-blue eyes appear to be solemn. My lips part when he takes my hands in his. He speaks under his breath, "you are more radiant than ever."
I do not move an inch.
"Take heart," he speaks my name again, "hounds are crushed under heels of goddesses."
I pull away from him and shake my head, "do not speak blasphemy with me."
He laughs, bringing his hands behind him, "ever devout and god-fearing." He raises an arm, "shall we part ways by the stables? I will be heading out of the keep."
I debate for a moment. Ultimately, I offer polite smile and decide to agree.
We walk with no sense of urgency. I never knew Petyr to be one for small talk, and so I am surprised that he asks me about my dresses. In truth, I really shouldn't have been.
"Your dresses are Dornish, are they not?" he raises a brow.
"Dornish-like," I clarify, "it was my usual tailor that made my new dresses. I feared if I asked a Dornish tailor for a modest silhouette, I'd be colder than I am now."
We share a soft laugh.
He shrugs, "the style suits you still," he smiles. "Undoubtedly, the Dornes would love to dress you in their more traditional clothing."
I purse my lips and raise my brows, "wouldn't you like that, Petyr?"
He chuckles, slightly in disbelief by the casual referral. He raises his hands, "I said the Dornes. I am not Dornish, my dear."
When we reach the stables, I stop in my tracks, not because we're about to depart, but because his words freeze me in my spot.
"Surely, our Lord Clegane finds it hard to keep his hands off you."
I do my best to stay neutral, to not give myself away. Baelish holds back a smirk.
"Wouldn't you like to know what me and Lord Clegane get up to?"
Baelish laughs, "if I'm being honest, I do."
I roll my eyes at him and nod dismissively, "farewell, my lord."
He nods back with a chuckles, "and you, my lady."
I promptly head to my chambers after this. As I walk on, however, I remember that another day has passed with me not seeing Lord Clegane. I am unsure if it was deliberate or coincidental, but it was the fact either way.
It had been a handful of days since my monthly bleeding passed. I was never a regular bleeder, and when it came this time around, it stayed longer than usual. I was glad with his absence then, in not needing to explain myself to my him. The moment it had finished, however, I expected I would at least see him once.
I did not.
This lead to my decision to be more... seductive.
And, well yes, or course, he yelled at me and told me to have my bitch fuck me instead-- truly, there was a large pit of dread in my stomach because of this, but people say a lot of things in anger, things they don't mean. He could not have meant that.
I rub my belly, willing the dread away.
I refuse to believe he meant that.
I suck in a breath and decide to head to the king's chambers.
Besides, I've been assured over and under that men really like making babies.
My breath hitches when I catch sight of the Hound, guarding the door. I see him do a double take when he spots me, and yet he gazes into space in the end.
"Good evening, my lord," I curtsy at him.
He grunts with exasperation, "what are you doing here?"
"I wanted," I measure my words carefully, "to request you not stay out late tonight."
The man turns his head fully to me, "what?"
I feel my throat itch. I clear my throat, "I was hoping that you come to my chambers before too late."
Sandor shifts in his spot. He eyes me up and down. I feel like I am being burned alive under his gaze.
He looks away and shifts back in place.
I open my mouth but I don't get to speak at all.
"Dog. Dog! Come inside, I-" King Joffrey calls but then ceases when he steps out of the room and sees me. 
I immediately curtsy, "my king. Good evening."
Joffrey raises a brow and demands to know why I'm here, referring to me by the house I was born into.
I offer him a smile, "I wanted to speak to my lord husband, your grace."
His face contorts in deep bewilderment. He opens his mouth and raises a finger, "why would you come h-" he turns to the Hound and stops himself. He breaks into a laugh. He laughs so hard that he clutches his stomach, "oh!" He wheezes, "oh, I've forgotten about that!"
King Joffrey calms down with a sigh. He from to his Kingsguard then to me, eyeing my attire. He chuckles under his breath as his eyes rake me down, "I see your wife has dressed to seduce you, dog." His looks up to my face, "or wouldn't that make you bitch?"
I do not respond for a moment, put on the spot by his malice, but then my wits finally meet me. I curtsy to the king, "I am what my king makes me to be."
Joffrey laughs airily. He shakes his head, "my, dog," he turns to his guard, "I've truly matched you well," he pats his shoulder plate, "too well, in fact."
He then retreats into his chambers, calling out as he did, "you're dismissed, dog. Breed your bitch as you like."
The door slams shut.
I release a breath once the king leaves, clutching my belly as I did so.
Sandor does not move an inch from his spot. He does not look at me.
I begin to get nervous all over again. I try, "husband?"
"You think I'll answer to your whistle just because you're dressed like a whore?"
My face hardens. I look away from him. I mean I expected as much.
I swallow the lump in my throat, "I only wanted to please you-"
He scoffs.
I look back at him, "I will dress more modestly if it is what you'd like."
"I'd like not to see you whoring around."
I am unable to withhold my scoff, "I am what my lord makes me out to be."
The Hound finally spares me a glance. I glare at him as I curtsy, "apologies for the impertinence." I turn on my heels and walk away. My anger and vexation gets the best of me. I cannot help but jeer, "if my dress angers you so, take it off me then."
Sandor shifts on his spot.
I continue down the hall.
His lips curl as he growls lowly, "run."
I do not hear anything but my own grumbling.
"Run, little girl!" he barks, making me jolt and turn back to him with a scowl. The irritation is apparent in my face as I stop at the end of the hall, "what?"
The Hound begins to march over. My heart races as I hear him warn, "run, if you know what's good for you"
I begin to shuffle back.
"I'll tear that shit off your body when I catch you."
I break into a sprint at the sound of his threat.
I don't look back. I heave heavily as I rush down the halls. I don't hear him chasing after me, though once I'm far, I see him treading fast as the times he's dragged me by the arm. My stomach flurries with anxiousness and regret.
When I reach my chambers, I mentally debate whether or not I should lock the door. I gulp at the idea of him breaking it down. I decide I do not want a memory such as that to be branded into my brain.
I gasp when he bursts into the room. I grip my skirts from the edge of the bed where where I sat.
The Hound locks the door before walking over to me. He grabs my shoulders and shoves me down on my belly.
I squeak when he grabs my skirts and rips it all the way up my ribs. He scoffs, "fucking parchment."
I hear him grab something by my vanity. I do not dare to look at him. I proceed to hear him undo his armor and his clothes.
I hear a pop. I yelp when he grabs my smallclothes and yanks them down. I groan into the cushions when I feel his fingers toy with my folds.
"Don' fink you nee' vis," he speaks like something was in his mouth. He pulls his hand away and suddenly the smell of my lavender oil assaults my senses. I hear a squelch. Something is thrown to my side; it's my vial.
I squeak when he grabs my hips. He sighs, "you're ready on your own." We both make noises when he begins to thrust into me. The Hound growls, "little girl likes to be chased."
I am shoved into the cushions. My entire body tenses.
"You want to dress like a whore," he taunts, "I'll fuck you like a whore."
His tempo is brutal and harsh. He does not relent or give me leeway. It's strange and shameful that my body even feels tingles of pleasure.
I cannot help the screams that rip out of my throat. Had I not been faced down on the cushion, I fear that I would have woken the dead.
I call out his name when he hoists my hips up. My toes could no longer touch the floor. He begins moving faster. My hands dig into the sheets. I feel my eyes water.
The Hound howls. He shoves me down and suddenly my feet are on the ground. He plunges deep, it makes my eyes roll back. His thrusts become increasingly irregular and after with a few more slaps, he stops.
I catch my breath, thanking the gods he's shown mercy.
I whine when I feel him pull away. I gulp and shift on my spot. I anticipate his next movements. I hear a rustle. I lift my head up and look back at him, confused by the sight of him tying himself up.
Was... was it done?
"Don't think to have that dress mended, girl," he pants as he grabs something from the floor. I roll on my back, feeling uneasy because of the wetness between my thighs. I watch him unlock the door and slam the door on his way out.
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All hells were breaking loose. King's Landing was under attack, the castle was on fire, and Stannis Baratheon was winning.
All the women and children holed up in the queen's retreat chamber spilled out to gods know where.
My mind was racing, yet all I could think was: run, flee, Lucy, Daisy, Hound.
I was already running. I was already fleeing. I was doing both with Lucy in my grip. I had Lucy, but I did not have Daisy.
We were running up to my chambers. I left Daisy there, my poor Daisy. We were fleeing up the stairs in haste, sparing no time to catch a breath.
I had no idea what we were to do. We could bar the door, block it with our bed. Lucy and I could manage it, I think. Was it a good idea? Would it guarantee our safety? There was only one way we'd know.
I quickly open the door and lock it once Lucy and I are inside.
We take a moment to finally catch our breath. Lucy grabs my arms and I grab hers. I can feel her shaking. I rub her skin, "it will be alright. No harm will reach us here."
Lucy shakes her head, "milday, you and me both know that's not true."
My heart shatters when I catch the way her eyes water. "Shhh," I pull her into a hug, "have I ever failed you, Lucy?"
She seals her arms around me and whispers, "no."
"Nothing will happen to us," I rub her back, "I will protect you."
"And I, you," she pulls away, "as will Daisy," she wipes her tears before they fall, "and the 'ound."
We scream when we hear a voice in the room. We press our back against the wall and turn to the bed. A figure is sat on the floor by its side. What was said was, "your mutt is stupid."
Lucy and I clutch each other for dear life. I recognized that voice. I muster the courage to tiptoe towards the figure and breathe out shakily when I confirm the presence, "Sandor?"
The man turns to me as we walk up to him. Sandor had Daisy on his lap. She looked up and blinked at me before closing her eyes. She was being pet a bloody hand and did not mind at all.
"She was jumped on me when I walked in. She looked excited," he turns to Daisy, "stupid bitch. Anyone else would have chopped her up."
I find myself releasing a breath of relief. Here now was Daisy, and Hound. I had nothing left to think about.
I walk up to him, kneeling on his side. He turns to me. I examine his face, dirtied and bloodied, "are you hurt?"
He looks at me for a moment. I watch him slowly raise his hand. He cautiously touches my cheek. I clutch his wrist in my hands. He swipes his thumb on my skin, "save your tears." I didn't even know I shed them. "None of the fuckers got close enough to try."
He draws his hand back. He grunts as he gets to his feet. Daisy moves back, wobbling on her three legs; I move back too.
"Take your valuables," the Hound grunts, "we're fucking leaving."
I pull my head back. I watch the man survey the room.
Lucy runs up to my side and she wipes my cheek with her skirt. She watches the red collect on the fabric and wonders who it belonged to. She wagers it's not from her lord.
I shake my head in confusion as Sandor grabs a satchel and stuffs my jewelry in it, "I don't understand. Aren't you going to fight?"
"Fuck the fight," he quips as he shoves objects down and raids through the drawers and closets.
Lucy finishes wiping my face. I walk off and grab all my hidden pouches of gold. I hand it to Sandor, "what about the king?"
"Fuck the king," he takes the pouches and stuffs it into the bag, "fuck him especially."
Sandor then chucks the satchel to Lucy, who grunts when she catches it.
"The stupid fuck's done nothing but fuck around," he picks up Daisy, propping her front legs on his shoulder, "no good thing's come from that fuck." He takes me by the hand and mumbles, " 'cept for one."
He releases me only to unlock the door and hold me again. He does not let me go until we reach the outside of the keep.
The whole lot was in disarray; dead bodies, debris, and fire littered the scene. He hands me Daisy, and I struggle slightly to carry her, considering she was not a small breed. He walks not too far off and brings a wandering horse over.
It's a wonder we do not encounter anyone on this side of the castle, more so that we find a horse.
Sandor takes Daisy and puts her down before helping me mount the steed. My stomach rolls with how his touch lingered on my thigh once I was on.
Next, he took the satchel from Lucy and handed it to me. He then eyed her when she stepped forward, as if debating whether or not he wanted to bring her along. Before she or I could speak up about it, Sandor is already helping her climb up behind me. Lucy takes the satchel from me and eyes him after. He rolls his eyes.
He picked up Daisy and tried handing her to me. However, she struggled too much and could not fit in my arms, so he cursed and threw her back onto his shoulders. He grabbed the horse's reins and started walking.
"Fucking bitch, fucking wench, fucking horse, fucking war, fucking-"
1K notes · View notes
helenazbmrskai · 8 months ago
Text
Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke. [1/2]
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Title [Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke.]
Pairing [Northen Duke! Yoongi x Reincarnated! Reader]
Genre [Fantasy Romance, Reincarnation, World in a novel AU, future smut and angst]
Summary [You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death at the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.]
Words [11,5k ; part 1 out of 2]
Warnings [mistreatment and negligence, period drama, slow burn, mention of blood and drugs, tiny sexual tension]
Rating [+18 overall but this part is a tame +14]
A/N: Guess who’s back again? ME. I’ve been working on this for a lot and I know I already have a similar story on going but I just couldn’t get over this idea in my head. So enjoy! And as always excuse me for the typos.
Masterlist // part 2 (end) // I don't do tag lists anymore I'm sorry!
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Every story needs a good start, and this one starts now with an old tale, much older than you.
There’s an ancient fairytale that tells you about the funding of the Empire and it all starts when God left.
Tired of human foolishness and deeply rooted malice he left the world he created to turn around its axis and burn down on its own; famine started to scavenge the continent as war broke out in every corner of the human world. Each kingdom perished one by one until only one was left.
It seemed like humanity would be wiped out permanently in no time but then just when they all thought there was no turning back, a saintess appeared among the rest and divided the continent into four regions with the help of the received divine power. That’s the birth of the empire’s central city where the empress Hyeri ruled over the four divided territories.
To prevent war from breaking out again the saintess turned to the heavens and pleaded while crying out to their maker and hearing her prayers the God who left decided to give them one last chance at redemption seeing the pure heart in front of him.
That’s when the holy prophecy was made.
Each chosen duke was granted unique powers to rule over their territories. However great powers come with great responsibilities. In the end, there’s always a price to pay but that’s the tale of another story.
This is how peace finally settled over the world once more. In exchange for the powers, the dukes wrote a blood oath that prevented them from stealing each other’s powers or waging unnecessary war. However just like every pact it wasn’t perfect. Loopholes could be taken advantage of but momentarily peace was forged.
This is the short version of the founding tale of the originated Kingdom that was taught to the people of the empire throughout generations. You particularly remember these starting lines from the novel you read in your previous life. The introduction is something you often skip through but thankfully you didn’t do that with this one.
The four families who inherited great power were Kim, Jung, Min and Jeon. When you first read the story introduction you thought that it’s quite lame and generic to base the family's attributes on the four seasons. However, seeing one of the duke’s illustrations you decided to read it all.
When choosing a book to read you only pay attention to the hotties. In this case, it wasn’t any different either.
A mysterious and cold duke of the north is something that a girl cannot ignore to save her life.
Each duke possesses an artefact which comes in the form of a ring and different precious gemstones that fit into the depression are named after the four seasons using a dead language.
Nix - means snow, which makes the wearer the lord of winter. The most handsome guy throughout the entire book in your opinion. Next, Saltus - translates to forest which is the symbol of spring. Umbra is shade and Calor is heat. The last remaining ones are autumn and summer. Each duke is the epitome of beauty, and their descendants are no exception.
This is a fantasy romance novel you read before you died in a sudden hit and run accident.
The original story is about an orphan girl Hyo who is the lost daughter of the king. After she’s found – the plot starts as she meets the four archdukes at the annual imperial ball and falls in love with the lord of Spring. Kim Taehyung. A handsome man with good manners and unmatched beauty as he’s described in the book. She’s captured by one look of the male lead’s brown eyes and shiny blond curly hair. Despite their fairytale-like first meeting, their love is not exempt from hardships. Their first obstacle is the villainess Kim Y/N who falls in love with Taehyung at first sight at the same ball and sets her eyes on marrying him but in the end, she fails to murder Hyo and gets beheaded by the second male lead Min Yoongi as an imperial order.
Hyo and Taehyung then live happily ever after and the novel ‘Flowers bloom in the heart of the Lost Princess’ ends there.
You see, dying a second time is not an option even if the one you possessed is Y/N.
You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death by the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.
Even though there’s no chance you will fall in love with the Duke of Spring like in the original novel – things can still go wrong if you make changes in the natural flow of the story, so you need to think this through carefully. You need to think about the plot holes and that the characters you see can be different from what you read in the book as that only tells you one side of the story.
The first thing you need to change gradually is the way the servants and the Duke see you.
The first week when you reincarnated as Y/N you spent your days with a high fever bedridden, you’re not sure if the pain came from the strain of absorbing the real Y/N’s memories or if something else is behind it. Your health is very poor as your medical history suggested, but you get accustomed to the villainess' body step by step. After another week your probation ended so you were able to leave the estate freely again. There were days when sudden headaches interrupted your day and, in the morning, you often coughed up blood.
You ignored it at first because the symptoms seemed to get better with time, and you had no way of knowing if it was normal. You didn’t ask in case someone found it suspicious. The most important thing right now is that you need to focus on staying alive and avoiding your death at the end of this novel – this is what you thought without knowing anything at that time.
As the plot thickens when you least expect it.
It’s not just your weird health conditions your head hurts just from thinking about the actions of the real owner of this body.
You just can’t grasp why a beautiful woman like Y/N would do those cruel things when she has everything she could’ve asked for. She’s a rich girl born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and she gets crazy just because she can’t have a man. It feels unnatural. If someone asks you to choose between life and a man you would choose life without hesitation.
You can have another man but not another life. Er, well – in your case, you do get another one thought but that’s beside the point.
Even before that incident happened with the female lead, she had a terrible reputation among the nobles.
Well – you can’t do anything if you’re not well rested so you will just think about this a bit later. You can’t possibly pull another all-nighter to study how this novel works. You close your eyes to finally get some shut eye when some woman barges into your room without knocking forcefully parting your curtains to let the early rays of sunshine in. The sound of her voice makes you freeze. This uncomfortable feeling suddenly ripped through your body as if a pile of rocks were sitting on your chest not letting you breathe. While you gained some of Y/N’s memories there are still holes in those fragments that you’re unsure of. However, her feelings are so intense sometimes that your body reacts like clockwork.
What you feel after hearing her voice is sheer terror. Who is this woman that even a villainess like Y/N is even afraid of? You can’t open your eyes as if your body is doing it unconsciously, unmoving like a doll to protect itself. Someone is coming closer.
You feel a prick on your forearm and your eyes fly open due to the pain. Her name appears in your mind as soon as you see her face and some of Y/N’s memories flood your head regarding that nasty woman. She triggers something dark in your eyes to appear.
Your nanny, Biwon.
“Wake up. Are you planning to sleep till the afternoon?” Biwon lets out a fake troubled sigh and her eyes are full of arrogance when you meet them you freeze completely at the sight.
“I’m sorry nanny.” Your mouth moves on its own like a broken record. It feels like this is not the first time she wakes Y/N up with a prick of a needle and the apology comes to her like second nature. Y/N’s attitude shows all kinds of trauma of being abused. How is it that this was never mentioned in the novel? While not much was mentioned about how she grew up you would think this is a piece of important information to have.
“Wash your face the duke requested to have breakfast with you for some reason.” She left without giving you any kind of assistance like a maid should do. At last, the water in the basin is ice cold to the touch and murky it manages to wake you up completely from shock.
You’re not just imagining it. Biwon has complete power over Y/N even though she’s the lady of the house.
You knew that the other maids avoided Y/N because of her temperament but to think that she’s been through manipulation and abuse by someone so close to her. Because Biwon is the one who spent the most time next to Y/N ever since she was a child everyone buys her lies. No one pays attention to Y/N, not her father or her brother.
She has no one to rely on in this household.
Biwon deliberately made her isolated in her own home so she could control and exploit her. Her malicious plan is clear to you after observing the situation objectively. What else is there that was not mentioned in the novel? Things might be more complicated than you thought.
However, this is not the time to ponder over this. You need to get ready alone. It didn’t take you long to realise Biwon forbids the maids from helping you so you can embarrass yourself in front of your family. While the real Y/N would have problems with getting dressed and being presentable without help as she’s a noble – there’s one tiny fault in your nanny’s plan – that she has no idea that you’re a modern woman who can wear her own fucking dress and get ready all by herself. She has a lot of extravagant dresses, so you had a hard time choosing but then something caught your eye. This dress has been buried deep in your wardrobe, a solid light cream-coloured dress with an elegant bow in the front. This is the perfect dress.
You do light makeup to match the dress and leave your long hair down after brushing it. While you were getting dressed you saw the countless bruises on your skin and your right arm was full of holes from the needle your nanny used to stab you with to wake you up. It’s good that the dress is long-sleeved. There’s no way the maids don’t know about your abuse since they bathe you. So, your guess is they are either the nanny’s people or they just simply don’t care enough to tell the duke. It’s clear the duke doesn’t care about Y/N so it wouldn’t benefit them to tell him when they could face the wrath of your nanny if she finds out. They think he wouldn’t do anything about it, and you think so too.
You feel compassion for Y/N. She was made to be a villain even if it doesn’t excuse her actions in the end. It’s only been two weeks for you, but she had to endure this for a lifetime.
You’re determined to change her future even more now that you know the truth. You’re going to live for her as well.
Opening the door to your room you find a maid waiting for you to lead you to the dining room as per the duke’s request. She looks taken aback by your neat appearance but doesn’t say anything and just shows you the way.
She dares to walk ahead of you. Even if you want to give her a piece of your mind you hold yourself back, you can’t afford to create a ruckus and be sent back to probation. It’s not that you care about who walks in front of you it’s the meaning of this action that angers you.
You hold back by creating a fist the pain of your nails digging into your palms in half-moon shapes keeps your head clear and controls your bubbling rage. You’re going to show everyone how Y/N won’t bow down anymore. You’re not a doormat that everyone can just walk over.
You’re not going to let everyone disrespect you ever again but to achieve that you need to make a plan and be more patient.
First thing first you need to make the duke care about you to an extent so he will listen to you. Good thing that you know the novel. You might be able to use that information to get what you want. You’re not going to make him like you, you just need to be useful for him to look at you. You’re not sure he would be even capable of liking you in the first place – not that you would want that after he neglected Y/N like that. Talk about loving family, this is just another example of being blood-related sometimes does not matter.
It's not like he’s your real dad anyway.
The dining room is just as fancy as the rest of the mansion. By the time you arrive the duke and your brother are already seated and chatting. The duke is sitting at the head of the table and Seokjin is sitting on his right.
Your tableware is set away from them probably a scheme made by your nanny to keep you isolated.
She must be afraid of why the duke suddenly wanted to dine with you when he usually never bothers to see you. You can’t let this golden opportunity pass like that. You’re going to make the most of it.
“Good morning, Father, Brother. Sorry for being late.” You give them a little courtesy. You’re careful to get your posture nice and graceful like you read in the etiquette book. The nanny purposefully discouraged the young Y/N to skip classes and remain a dumb doll for her to exploit but you’re not going to let her continue to do that.
While your posture is not perfect this will at least show that you’re trying to be as polite as possible.
You stayed up all night for an entire week to study about this new world’s etiquette and history to play your part more convincingly who knew that your knowledge would come in handy in a situation like this? You’re thankful that you decided to study even before you realised the nanny’s schemes.
You school your features to remain passive as you look at the grand duke’s and your brother’s dumb expressive faces. It looks like they are seeing a ghost. Even though you’re annoyed to be bent like that you keep the position until you receive the acknowledgement like a lady should. How annoying that you must bow like that until you are recognised by a man.
“It’s alright. Sit down, Y/N.” The duke gives you a curt nod seemingly flustered that he stared at you for so long. You remind him of his late wife a lot dressed like that. To everyone’s biggest surprise, you take a seat directly on his left side facing your brother.
You remain silent in your seat knowing that the duke’s pride will take a hit if he doesn’t correct the mistake that he didn’t even notice until you sat down. Usually, they wouldn’t care if you sit far away, they would probably think that you were the one who wanted the seat away from them in the first place as a sign of defiance but they can’t deny that you’re the lady of the house so to assume you would sit far away is an arrogant mistake on the servants part.
“What are you waiting for give my daughter a set and bring the food.” Thankfully the duke is just like you expected. He looks annoyed at the servants. His authority is absolute so the maids scurry to bring you some new tableware and bring out the food. The lonely set is forgotten at the rear end of the table. This is the first time you see something so mouthwatering in a while since you were forced to eat in your room and the food, they brought you was not even close to this. Now that you think about it, it was probably some leftover from the kitchen. No wonder Y/N is this thin.
It probably wasn’t even part of her punishment so someone must be stealing the food that is made for Y/N.
It’s hard to control your expression or your body language that is burned into your body by nature. You’re feeling uncomfortable all over that you can’t enjoy the food at all. It’s sad to see how rigid you are in the presence of your supposed family members. You don’t have any appetite even though you feel like you’re starving.
“How are things with Gold Wing? Did you manage to get them to agree with our terms?”
The Gold Wing is under the jurisdiction of the House of Summer. The old man Jung Jeyhun is a greedy man who keeps delaying his son’s succession because he wants to keep his title as an archduke. He’s the hidden boss of this novel. Y/N can’t compare with an evil villain like him. There’s probably no one else who knows he’s backing that trading company. You’re an exception only because you read the novel and know everything about how he wants to be the sole ruler of the Empire. He’s behind many unfortunate events that happen in the novel that no one finds out about until it’s too late.
“No. They’re trying to sell their stones for double the price. Knowing that none of the other companies have that much supply since they bought the rights to the mines.” Your brother looks irritated as if he recalls the meeting with the head of the company vividly.
No wonder they are cocky, they have the backing of House Summer, and they cheated the other rival companies out of the right to produce this type of stone that’s particularly high priced in the first section of the book. This stone is called Stelar which is steel but it’s a novel, so they had to give it a fancy name. Swords here are mainly made from two important ingredients iron or steel, but steel has a longer durability and is easy to craft to different shapes, so they tend to use that instead of iron which is way cheaper because of this fact. The knights used swords made with Stelar but because of the high price, it was hard to come by after the Gold Wing trading company monopolized the rights.
Their goal is to weaken the other three houses’ military power by selling the stones at a high price and getting funds for their territory but it’s not the only reason. The swords they sell are not simply made of Stelar. Steel is an alloy of iron. Iron needs to be mixed with carbon to make steel. They use some steel and put more iron to degrade the quality of the sword which breaks more easily than it should. You remember learning of it in school in your previous life, but these people don’t know of it because the novel has plot holes here and there. Since the novel focuses on the main characters things that are not related to them too much have more freedom to change, and things may differ as the author cannot mention every little thing. This could be what you need to make changes.
The truth that they tempered with the swords that got imported only comes to light when Yoongi investigates the company when he almost loses the battle with the barbarians but that battle only happens when you reach nearly half of the novel. He could tell that there was a difference in quality when he saw the sword break too easily. He made an assumption just by that and the fact that the new sword became heavier due to the added mass of iron.
Even if you feel bad for taking credit for his discovery you need to use that information, he finds out later so you can survive in this household.
“May I speak up, father?” You heard enough to grasp the current situation. You need to speak up before you lose your courage.
“What can you even contribute to this conversation?” Your brother looks angry that he got interrupted. In your eyes he’s not scary he’s just a big child throwing a tantrum when things don’t go his way. You decide to calmly face him even if you have to hide your nervousness by clasping your hands together under the table for comfort. Still can’t control the original Y/N’s physical reactions.
“I don’t think I asked brother.”
The duke raises his hand to silence Jin before he can spit out angrier remarks. The moment you appeared and gracefully bowed wearing your mother’s dress the duke could tell that something about you just became different. The air around you is filled with determination.
He got reports of you acting unusually tame so he asked you to dine together and see it for himself.
Your eyes that only reflected the world around it suddenly became full of will to live.
He’s curious to hear what you have to say. Usually, you wouldn’t speak unless you were spoken to. “Do you perhaps have a good idea of how to deal with them?” He proposes fully giving you his attention.
“The problem is that we don’t have Stelar to make swords for the knights, right? I suggest we find a mine suitable to harvest the stones we need that way we don’t have to depend on the trading company.”
“Are you a fool? Do you think if we could produce it, we would continue to make this ridiculous deal work?” You’re getting tired of your brother always cutting in. You can’t get angry though. The first thing you need to change is how people see you and you can’t get angry because the people around you will call you a temperamental child even if your anger is justified. They wouldn’t care either way they just want to belittle you. You just need to not allow them to do so.
“We have a place like that in our territory that could be suitable. I can mark it on a map if you’d like.” Even though the duke might be suspicious of how you know of a place like that he will investigate either way. This deal is too good to pass up on.
In hopes of discovering a new mine, he will even accept the flimsy lie of you just discovered it by reading some book and looking at maps.
“Alright. I will instruct the knights to check it out. If what you said is true, I will reward you.” You nod your head pleased with the outcome of this uncomfortable breakfast.
In the novel the imperial prince comes across the mine in your territory when he’s running away from assassins and due to his discovery, he gets praised by the king for solving a big problem. However, if you find the mine first that puts you in a favourable position with the other houses and even the king if you give the stones at a lower price making the Gold Wing trading company lose its base customers by making better deals.
Thankfully that painful breakfast comes to an end soon as father’s aid whispers something into his ear. He leaves in a hurry which makes you think it’s about something important and work-related.
Your brother leaves without saying a word so you can finally enjoy your food alone.
Ever since you came to this place you’ve never been this full before, it puts you in a fairly good mood. You even managed to grab the duke’s attention and for once got something more filling than stale bread.
All you need to do is wait until the mine is discovered and now that one thing is out of the way you need to start with disciplining your maids and get your nanny kicked out. Biwon had a good life here up to this point because now that you’re here you will make it a living hell for her, and that’s a promise.
“What did you talk about with the duke?” You’re not surprised to find your nanny in your room when you get back. She looks anxious you can see how her nails are bitten and she slightly thumps her foot. You got back early so if you tell her some half-truths, she won’t suspect you that much.
“He didn’t talk to me at all. He only talked with my brother about work that I don’t understand. I don’t know why they keep ignoring me. You’re the only one who cares about me, nanny.” Good thing that the maids left after serving the meal, you would be in trouble if someone overheard you and you were caught lying. You bury your head in her apron to conceal your disgusted expression when she caresses your head.
You need to act like usual, so she won’t suspect a thing. If her guard is down, it will be easier for you to make your move.
You can easily produce some fake tears for the greater good.
“That’s right, only I care about you. Who else would love a useless child like you.” You bite your tongue to hold back when Biwon hugs you. You agree with her even if you want to break her arms that hugs you like a shameless person.
Biwon doesn’t use needles on you again to erase her marks since you started to dine with the duke. Thankfully she doesn’t realise what you’re planning.
The mine you talked about last time turned out to be true and the duke was very happy to get back at the Gold Wing trading company. He started to make a profit thanks to you, and he even listened to your suggestion of lowering the price to sell it to the other houses. Developing the mining ground consumes a lot of money at the moment but the profit will be greater than ever if it’s finished. You asked to have dinner with them every day as a reward which made him look surprised. He reluctantly agreed when you asked to make your contribution a secret for now you can’t let your nanny hear about it just yet. The duke probably thought he would buy you some clothes and accessories and you will be all set. Unfortunately for them, you don’t care about luxuries especially if it comes from them.
While you would prefer to not eat with them you need to show the staff that you’re indeed the lady of the house. Now they are giving you the bare minimum of respect after the maid got scolded by your father after the tableware incident.
You didn’t think Jin would come after you excused yourself from the meal. Right when you leave the dining room your brother appears halting you in your step and grabbing your hand forcefully to stop you in your tracks.
“Where are you going in a hurry so dressed up?” Your wrist throbs in his hold. That bastard how could he grab the hand of his sister so hard? Compared to him your body is so small you look like a child next to him. You’re not surprised since you were malnourished before. You’re sure it will bruise badly but you refuse to show him that he’s hurting you.
“I believe it’s none of my brother’s business where I go in my free time.” You look into his eyes with confidence. Y/N was always longing for her brother’s love but you’re not the real Y/N and you will never consider him your brother, so his attitude doesn’t bother you at all emotionally. He simply became a person you’re forced to live with and tolerate for now.
If everything is over you will cut ties with them for good.
“You’ve been acting weird ever since your probation. If this is your way of seeking attention from father or I, that will never happen no matter what you’re scheming.”
Using the moment of his surprise you get out of his hold and get farther away from him. Your smile says it all. ‘I don’t consider you a brother so go to hell’. You’re getting angry but you refuse to show him any reaction even if you can’t exactly control the fire in your eyes.
“You don’t have to be afraid of that. I don’t consider people who neglect and belittle me my family at all. I don’t need your love or attention anymore.” You show him your back confidently as you walk away from his frozen form.
“Gaon prepare some indigestion medicine for me. Is the carriage ready?” Jin catches your voice talking to your maid still frozen on the spot you left him.
Your eyes looked different. When you were young you used to beg for his affection always clinging to him but now. Why does it look like you despise him and why does it bother him?
He never felt anything for you for a very long time.
“Yes, my lady everything is like you instructed.” You nod satisfied by the way things progress.
Now there’s only one thing left to do.
You’re on your way to meet with the head of the blacks information guild. The only one who could top the Gold Wing trading company by power would be them. The blacks is one of the largest information-selling guilds – trading only to deceive people and hide the fact that they know everything that can be known throughout the empire.
They have men everywhere. The head is conveniently the second young master of house Autumn who currently stays in House Summer territory. Jeon Jungkook is clever enough to know that information is the most important thing to have the upper hand this is how he was able to survive the battle for succession.
It will be probably dangerous to meet him but you will have to take this gamble on if you want things to work out you need the backing of the most powerful guild in the empire.
Convenient that the duke doesn’t care about Y/N’s safety so you don’t need to play hide and seek with the guards you can do your business without getting interrupted. If you say you don’t need an escort, they back off immediately and let you leave.
Following the novel’s description, you look for a house with a red chimney and a black door away from the main streets. Once you find it you have to knock two then three times until someone asks, “Are you lost?” and you have to reply with “Yes can you tell me where can I find black paint?” - and you’re in.
It’s only a select few that know about this code so Jungkook will be suspicious of how a lady with a bad reputation knows about it, but you came to make a deal that he can’t refuse. You can talk around the fact of how you know about their secret entrance.
As you expected Jungkook came himself to greet you, you could recognise that brown hair and emerald eyes anywhere.
“Please have a seat. I prepared some tea.” His smile is pleasant but calculating. His intentions are clear unlike when you talk to your blood relatives, so you’re surprisingly relaxed in his presence. Jungkook is intrigued by your body language. Usually, people are distrustful of him because of his mask. Your eyes tell him that you know more than you look.
“I have a request to make. I would like to know what this liquid is and any information that you can get on it or the bottle.” Jungkook is said to like straightforward people, so you try to be confident.
Jungkook laughs seeing your confidence. You exceed his expectations he heard that you’re stupid and extravagant with a bad temper, but it seems like his information is outdated. That needs to change he smirks.
He gives you credit for realising he wields information. Usually, people come to his guild to do business. Not many know that the purpose of the blacks is different.
“How much will you pay me for the information?”
“I heard I can pay with information for information. I have something important to tell you anyway.”
“Oh.” People rarely have any information that he doesn’t already know but you look so confident that he has to humour you. “Please enlighten me.” Taking a relaxed laid-back pose he awaits your answer.
“The head of the Gold Wing trading company is the current Duke of House Summer and he has a spy in your guild.” The only reason the blacks are not at the top is because of the upper hand they gain from the spy. No one would suspect that Jungkook’s right-hand man is a spy. He causes the guild’s destruction near the end of the novel. Heartbroken from the betrayal Jungkook is stabbed by him in the end.
Jungkook grips the side of the sofa after hearing your daring words until the wood slightly splits. He doesn’t usually trust people so to think that someone betrayed him feels impossible.
“I’m not saying that without evidence. There’s a tree in the back looking directly at the alleyway if you dig the dirt near the roots, you will find a letter with a coded message it was placed there this afternoon so you have to look for it before sunrise. I swear on my life that if I lie to you, you have the right to kill me.” The only way he will believe you is if you match the sacrifice for your accusation. Your life is on the line, but you know you’re right.
Or that you hope it’s the same as in the novel.
Jungkook instructs one of his men to look for the tree. He visibly pales when he sees the man come back with a dirty envelope. He reads the letter with a face of indifference, but you know he is furious deep inside and somewhat sad. Trust is not easily given away by him.
“Who— ” Jungkook closes his eyes to compose himself. “Who is the spy?” He appears distraught which is normal considering the fact you just dumped on him suddenly.
You hesitate for a moment. You know this information will hurt him, but he is entitled to the truth – and you do this to save his life in the end. “It’s Sam.”
You can tell it hit him hard but you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He might get angry and it’s really not your place to intervene. However, you know this feeling very well. Being betrayed by someone you trusted. If nothing else you can sympathise with that feeling.
“Please excuse my rudeness.” You tell before you impulsively side-hug him. He’s so surprised by your embrace that he doesn’t try to push you away immediately. You’re so warm and your hand is comforting on his back. He doesn’t know you, but it feels like you understand him to some extent.
He closes his eyes and lets this moment pass by. Hidden from prying eyes it’s just – you and him for this moment.
At last, he composes himself and accepts your request. He even gives you a pendant that’s only given to the highest-ranking customers saying that your information is worth that much.
It’s a pretty pendant with a black snake on it. Looks like a masterpiece.
Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened while you were out. You were able to enjoy some snacks when you got back in peace as your nanny was on vacation.
You need to make your move while Biwon is away your plan needs to be done by the time she gets back. Thanks to the blacks information guild – you were able to identify the liquid your nanny made you drink every day — you only had to wait two days to hear from them.
Your discovery is enraging and liberating at the same time.
It helped you put the pieces together and even gave you an advantage to work with. To finally know the full truth of what happened to Kim Y/N. This could be a good explanation for why you couldn’t access all her memories or why some things become hazy the longer you thought about it.
Life was way too cruel for a girl like Y/N.
Now that you’ve set up the stage you just need to wait for the protagonists to arrive.
Biwon seems relaxed after her vacation; she probably enjoyed a luxurious life out of the jewellery she stole from you. You’re getting sick just from seeing her smile. It must have felt good to be able to look down on a noble lady and make Y/N cater to her all this time, exploiting a poor young lady. To think that all those rumours come from her to isolate and degrade her. She should smile while she can you think smirking through the rim of your cup.
Now’s showtime.
The taste of tea is familiar in your mouth. Due to double the dose of the liquid she made you drink each morning the symptoms came earlier than you anticipated. Suddenly getting on the drug after you stopped taking it is a huge risk, but you need to prove her involvement in the crime.
You didn’t think it would hurt this much though. Your head clouded over soon, and your body collapsed on the floor in tremor.
Gaon called the doctor immediately as you instructed and while you were getting examined your other trusted maid planted the evidence in your nanny’s room. It didn’t take long to see Biwon try to escape your trap, but it was too late when the knights found the medicine bottle.
She had nowhere to run to.
You regained consciousness but it was hard for you to open your eyes yet. The pain you felt in your abdomen felt unbearable, but you need to see this through till the end.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. To tell the truth, the lady came to me often to ask for headache medicine.” You could feel the worry in the doctor’s voice. You feel bad for suspecting him at first. He might be the only one to actually care for Y/N in this forsaken house.
“This drug is called blackroot it’s made from a rare flower that was used in a war experiment in the past. The characteristic of the flower is that it can manipulate the mind – it makes the user unable to control their temper and creates hazy thoughts. While it works as a brainwashing technique it has all kinds of side effects such as explosive temper, haziness, headaches, loss of appetite and memory loss. The longer someone takes it the more fragile that person will become.”
No wonder Y/N is this thin. When you first heard about this drug you felt incredibly furious to make her take such a dangerous drug just because Biwon was greedy for things she couldn’t have.
Once the dizziness subsided you were able to open your eyes it seemed like the medicine the doctor gave you had some effect. The pain is still there but your head is clearer.
“I- didn’t do this! I was framed!” Biwon begs on her knees in front of the duke and young master but seeing their reactions no one actually buys that half-hearted accusation. Serves her right.
You made sure to get solid evidence of her crime.
You’re able to sit up thanks to Gaon’s help and you look down upon your nanny with a hard expression.
You cannot believe this is finally over.
Now no one will dare to take advantage of you after this incident comes to light. It won’t make your reputation restored to how it was before but at least it will provide you with a good opportunity to show the people around you that you’re different without having to fear someone figuring out you’re not the real Y/N.
“Have the witnesses come forward.” The maid who is questioned is shaking like a leaf in front of the duke.
“Who served Y/N tea?” Jin comes forward to interrogate the maids. For some reason, he looks livid. It’s probably because of their pride. How dare they manipulate the duke’s daughter a mere maid. – they probably think like that.
“The nanny always prepares the tea for the lady in the morning. No one was allowed to touch it I swear I didn’t know that the lady’s tea had blackroot in it.”
“That’s right, we were never allowed to serve her tea or be present when she made it we would be only called when the lady was about to get dressed.” If they were present at all you think for yourself as you roll your eyes.
“N- No! That…” Biwon looks around like a cornered animal. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. No, you promised the real Y/N that you would not let her go so easily.
“I’ve heard enough. Drag her to the underground dungeon.” After hearing the duke’s command, the knights drag Biwon out of the room. Finally, some quiet. Your head is killing you.
“Everyone leave, now. My daughter needs to rest.” As if seeing it on you that you’re nearly at your limits the grand duke instructs everyone to let you be.
Everyone leaves except for one person. Jin looks torn as he contemplates what to say to his sister.
You know the reason why Jin treated Y/N with contempt is because of that incident in the past. Y/N mad because of withdrawal symptoms from the drug called him a monster. She told him that because of him their mother died, and she even threw a teacup in his face that made him bleed. In reality, she partially blamed him for being forgotten and emotionally abused. After that Jin ignored her altogether. While saying those things are hash and not justified because of the drugs the behaviour of her brother is not something that you can overlook either. There’s no clear line to determine what’s right or wrong. You can’t simply judge if someone deserves forgiveness as it entirely depends on the person who’s granting it.
There are no right or wrong answers.
Their relationship was probably a bad fate. You’re not his sister so you have no intention of making up with him even though he’s wearing that pitiful expression. You feel bad for Y/N but you’re not going to live as her shadow forever. Once this story ends you will leave this kingdom and live as yourself. To make that happen you need to keep your relationship with Y/N’s family distant just like before so you could leave without problems in the future.
“How are you feeling?” Y/N has memories of when her brother spoke to her softly like this. Too bad it’s too late for Y/N to see this. You pull your hand away when he tries to hold it.
“This doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I would appreciate it if you could ignore me like before.” You turn away not inclined to see that pitiful expression on his face anymore.
Thankfully he leaves without a fuss this time.
Things are only growing more awkward as time passes. You made the suggestion of dining with them every day to avoid being punished by Biwon, but it comes back to bite you in the ass now that she’s gone, and no one dares to bother you anymore. You ignore the looks of pity you receive from the staff. They were the ones who ignored and badmouthed you. They have no right to take pity on you at all.
Those who did not try to see the truth don’t deserve to feel regretful.
It's annoying to see the duke and your brother try to get closer to you. They have no idea what Y/N had to go through while they were living in their blissful ignorance.
You wonder if things would have been different if she had been born as a boy in this period. Women are often ill-fated. How tragic.
“Your birthday is coming up in a few months. Do you have something in mind about how you want the celebration banquette?” Your fork freezes in the air when the duke calls you.
While you don’t want a party it would be good to build your reputation. You have no choice but to have one.
“I’ll prepare for it. Thank you for your concern.” You keep your eyes on the food. After taking that double dose your appetite seems to be worse than before. You need to gain some weight, you’re too thin as it is.
“Don’t worry about the budget just prepare how you like.” You’re getting dizzy this is getting bad you overestimated and thought some rest was all you needed. You need to take better care of yourself if you want to beat the final boss of the story. This is about time you meet with your favourite character as well. You need to look your best even if he only glances at you for a second. You’re getting excited just thinking about him.
“Alright. Excuse me I’m full.” You step away from the table to leave and prepare for the upcoming events when you lose your sight for a moment. Thankfully the head butler catches you in time that you’re not faceplanting the floor this moment.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” You push the old man away with reddened ears. This is so embarrassing.
“I’ll carry you to your room.” Your hand automatically holds onto your brother when he suddenly picks you up, to keep your balance. Now you’re really getting tired of their sudden act of affection.
“I said. I’m fine.” You pursue your lips in a frown when he keeps ignoring you to let you down.
“You can hate me all you want. I deserve it but I’m not letting you down.” You’re speechless. At least he knows. It doesn’t matter if he has regrets now that you solved everything.
If it weren’t for your effort and sacrifice things would have been left alone and you would be still suffering without anyone to rely on at the hands of your greedy nanny.
They can feel guilty all they want; it doesn’t change a thing. If anything, you’re feeling angrier about how they think they have the right to make things right after everything that has happened.
It’s bothersome.
“It won’t change anything. No matter how hard you try I’ll never consider you as family again. Not after you and father abandoned me. You don’t know anything about me or how much I suffered. If you didn’t care then don’t care now.” It’s probably hard to hear and somewhat you feel guilty for saying that since you don’t know what Y/N would have wanted but this is how you feel.
You’re torn about what you should do.
This is supposed to be your home when you feel the safest.
However, you can’t remember a single good memory or a time when you felt relaxed in this place. It just makes you sad.
“I understand.” His hand around you tightens just a tiny bit before he relaxes his posture and the hands that hold you gently. At least he’s not trying to come up with excuses. He knows fully well that what you told him was the truth. They have no idea how much you had to suffer since they kept ignoring you. His heart is getting heavy when he realises how light his sister feels in his arms. A woman in her twenties should weight a lot more than this. He’s carrying you with care and gently places you on top of your bed. You have no intention of getting closer to him, but it’s been bothering you for a while ever since you saw that memory. You feel like they don’t deserve your kindness. You wonder if Y/N would be forgiving. If she would be able to embrace them and trust them again. You know you can’t.
“You’re not a monster and I’m sorry for saying that so stop thinking about useless things.” You impulsively grab his hand before he can leave. This is all you can give him as an apology – you know Y/N probably would have wanted him to hear that at least. Something wavers in his eyes. You didn’t think such a small gesture would make him cry. Now that you think about it probably no one said such words to him before. His biggest fear. From an early age, he always heard that his mother died because of him. It shouldn’t be a small child’s fault. It makes you feel like this whole family is just unfortunate.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” Jin holds your hand with shaking fingers. You can clearly feel his tears fall as he pushes his face into your palm seeking some comfort. You don’t know how but you can feel that this apology is sincere. You don’t have the heart to push him away this time.
Just this once you will allow it.
“The captain of the imperial guards shouldn’t cry like this.” You pat his head while he cries. Seeing such a powerful figure crying into your skirt on his knees feels weird.
He hadn’t left for a while and even when he did, he looked reluctant. You could tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it. He’s afraid that the next time you see him you will push him away and avoid him. Your hand on his head and your words comforted him. He’s the one who did wrong but, in the end, you helped him instead deal with his biggest fear a little better.
He realises that he doesn’t deserve such a good sister as you.
His sudden resolve and earnest eyes make you bite your lips in worry. You know it won’t be good when he suddenly turns around with fiery passion. “I, Kim Seokjin give my oath to Kim Y/N that I will protect you for as long as I live. If I break my promise, I’m willing to die a miserable death.” This is your first time seeing someone give their knight’s oath. His hands are elegantly placed over his heart in a kneeling position and his eyes are fierce and honest. Stupid brother, you’re not the one he should give his oath to!
That was not your intention to make him so motivated. You should really learn how to ignore things in the future if you want to avoid bothersome situations like this. It’s not like you can reject him now either.
After he finally left because of work called you collapsed on your bed.
You can’t believe he gives you the knight’s oath instead of the female lead. He’s supposed to fall in love with her and be the miserable second male lead. You expect that things will be different if you change your destiny, but such drastic changes make you anxious for the future development of the plot.
Thankfully your favourite character was not caught up in the love triangle since his territory is the farthest away from the capital. He doesn’t frequent gatherings because of his inability to fully control his powers, and he has a bad reputation overall because of his war achievements and fearful power. Throughout the novel, he is described as someone who doesn’t care about women and is only fixed to find a way to control his abilities.
Min Yoongi you can’t wait to see him at the upcoming hunting festival.
Everything becomes normal and quiet.
Your daily life is better except for the torturous dinners with your family. Thankfully Jin is busy with imperial work and your father manages his new business and duties as a duke, so you don’t have to run into them too much inside the house.
In two or three days you make a trip to see Jungkook and get useful information and sometimes chat over some tea.
What’s next on your list is to gather personal intel on people who will attend the hunting festival. The fact that this is organised by the Duke of Summer is making you anxious. You remember some crazy shit happen around that time and his main target will be your favourite character. Min Yoongi.
Trying not to look too obsessed with a man you’ve never met before you decided to look over his information last.
There’s not much that could be gathered on him (even by a professional information broker as the North keeps their gates locked skin-tight) in the first place the info that your eyes skim through is less than you expected even with the additional stuff that you know because of the novel is limited mostly to his childhood and main events which is not much at all.
He wasn’t present in all the episodes but when he’s involved – well, things were never good.
You don’t know all the archduke’s special abilities which is a concern. You know Min Yoongi can read minds. The limitation to his power is that he has to touch the person to hear all the thoughts but with malicious intent, it doesn’t even need that.
It makes him the second most powerful ability user since he can detect lies and see one’s true self. Someone has to be well aware of his ability to hide something from him.
His special skill is to tell what the other person is thinking good or bad but that means that he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The world is never silent for his ears and that has its consequences. What little is known of them in the outside world is that all the Min descendants had gone mad at some point in their lives and chose to kill themselves when there was another person that could take over the Ducey or their son became of age if they were lucky to hold on until then. Min Yoongi’s tragic childhood is summarised in a few sad lines in the novel it was not overly detailed, but you remember feeling sad.
Whilst your survival is the priority you want to change Yoongi’s fate as well if it’s possible. Even if he’s not going to madly fall in love with you. You want him to have a happy life and not end as tragically as in the novel. You liked his character a lot. Even when he was faced with such hardships, he never gave up he would never succumb to the same fate as his father, and he held on until the last moment of his life.
You admired his determination to live.
You want to do the same with your second chance and hold on until the last moment trying to change your fate.
Who knows maybe you could overcome it together.
So many scenarios run through your head imagining how you will greet him when you finally meet him, what you will say to him. All of those restless nights couldn’t have been wrong when you’re finally faced with him. None of them could get you ready for that hard cold stare that he shows you.
You practically burst open the carriage door after the chaperone states that you’ve arrived.
Being in the same space as your brother and father acting all cute and considerate for almost four full hours made you want to let the ground swallow you whole and never want to see the sun again.
This is when you first make eye contact with him – or so you think. His eyes visibly slip over your face as if he’s not even seeing you just looking through you like you’re one tree of the dozens curving the landscape. It hurts your pride a lot to be invisible to your favourite character, but you gulp it down and hold your head high when you exit the carriage.
You knew it well that he was that type of person, but it didn’t mean it still did not hurt you to see it with your own eyes. There’s one thing to say he’s not interested in women but in reality, it felt like he’s not into humans – not just women. Hearing everyone’s thoughts might be a reason why he would be so over humans that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge them but damn.
Now that you see him and not just read about him you can tell two things already. One, he’s crazy handsome. The lines that describe how good-looking he is does not give him justice. Two, the lines in the novel are too tame to describe how much he loathes to see and interact with anyone. It’s almost comical how disgust is written all over his face when he has to shake hands with nobles or greet the young ladies.
That face still has many admirers even when his expression is a permanent frown all the time. Most likely to his greatest disapproval, he’s very popular with the ladies despite his bad reputation.
You can imagine how annoying it must be for him. Forgetting how you felt hurt before you even started to feel bad for him. His circumstances are unique and, in fact, no one knows what he has to deal with every single day. Even though you know you don’t really know what it feels like.
You’re contemplating how to approach him to not get immediately shut down or seem too suspicious when some of the ladies have you locked in a circle. Seeing their arrogant expressions, you could already tell what would happen when they finally opened their mouths.
“What a surprise to see you attend this year. Are you even allowed to be outside yet?”
You grit your teeth and smile at them.
It’s a waste to argue with them and you’re not here to let them bully you. You came here to see your favourite character and they are already dampening your mood.
“The ladies might need to check their eyesight soon. I arrived here with my brother and father so if you have complaints about me being here you could always go to them.” You speak with a permanent smile but there’s nothing friendly in your expression as you cross them leaving the circle of hyenas behind you.
They’re lesser nobles of course they wouldn’t dare complain to them. Your family is powerful after all one of the four most powerful people in the kingdom is your father. They targeted you specifically because you were an easy target so far too dumb to attack them with words like they do, and Y/N's violent temper just served the right purpose to belittle her and make her the most hated woman in high society. You’re not going to give them the chance to humiliate you anymore. They are just extras in a novel.
The thought alone makes you smile. Right. You’re the main villain in this novel but you’re going to turn it into your story so that you can be the main character in your life.
Something that you always wanted to try.
The first day goes by without incident. After the second day of the hunting festival starts the hunting begins and activities for both the ladies and men begin slowly but surely following the original plot of the novel.
Until there’s a big error occurring in the middle. You don’t remember any banquet happening to welcome the most influential families. This could mean that it wasn’t relevant to the main plot to mention, or things changed somehow and now there’s a sudden dinner plan made by someone.
There’s a banquet held for the four archdukes and their families and while you’re thrilled that you’re seated right across from your favourite character you were not expecting him to death glare you right in front of your salad.   
To your best knowledge you haven’t even greeted him yet so why does he look like he wants to murder your entire family? You’re unsure.
At some point, you stop avoiding him and look him in the eye but still, you can’t read his expression at all.  
You feel like you don’t have to emphasise that you couldn’t eat a single thing at that dinner in peace.
You jump when a man approaches you in the empty hallway and when you look at him something clicks in your mind, now that you think about it you can recognise this man from anywhere. He’s Namjoon his right-hand man the only person that he tolerates.
“You scared the living shit out of me.” You’re so surprised that you don’t check your language before it’s already out in the open. Your eyes are wide as you look at the man probably thinking that you’re a weird person. Shit. Now you’ve done it. You tried so hard until now to remain in character and not use slang words or bad language.
Which is hard on their own as you breathe and live with words that end in fuck most likely than not.
The struggles of a modern woman. Haah.
“I mean you should not hide in the shadows like an assassin ready to strike Mr. You scared me.” You try to put the blame on him entirely so he would forget your previous words and it seems to work as he’s quick to apologise and state his business.
“Duke Min would like to speak with you. If you could please follow me, I will lead you to him.” You narrow your eyes after Namjoon finishes his sentence. Him wanting to see you is very weird.
Why?
“Does this have to do with him glaring at me throughout dinner?” You take a step back narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the man. Even though he’s just the messenger you can’t help but ask. You and him being alone after you witnessed his personality might not be the best idea even if he’s still your favourite character. You don’t want to die by his hands either.
“He.. the duke has a difficult personality but he’s not a bad person. I’m sure he’s just interested in the lady.” You can tell that Namjoon really believes that but for some reason you can’t picture him being interested in you. Y/N might be pretty but the duke is not that kind of person to be captivated by something so shallow as that. That has to be a different reason why he wants to talk with you in private and while you’re anxious.
You decide its best to see what he wants.
Also, he’s not someone that anyone can just say no to. He will most likely force you to meet him. It might be your best option to get this over with and see where this conversation goes. If it even goes anywhere. He’s a practical person like that.
You’re anxious and excited at the same time as you follow Namjoon just a step behind.
“Who are you?” You’re perplexed to meet with this type of question. He cornered you without warning, both his hands were caging your hip, your backside digging into the edge of the table.
You’re scared and strangely excited to be this close. Your heart is beating heavily trying to break out from your ribcage.
“Kim Y/N.” You reply dumbly while still trying to process this sudden change in his behaviour and his closeness to you.
You were greeting him first and suddenly you’re completely caged in.
“Kim? Is Duke Kim your father?” You would find his furrowing brows adorable if you weren’t so close to witnessing it. His scent is overpowering your senses, and your faces are just a hair's breadth away from touching – your favourite character makes it hard for you to think straight. Air is caught in your lungs when he holds you by your chin tilting your head up to meet with his eyes.
“Y-Yes.” You’re unsure what he wants to hear from you. From the moment you stepped into his office, he kept questioning you without answering any of yours in return.
“Am I interrupting something?” Both of your gazes turn to face a surprised Kim Namjoon standing by the door. He looks exactly like he just got here and witnessed something weird happening. You can’t blame him for it, you’re surprised as well. Min Yoongi keeps acting weird. He looks somewhat bewitched as he keeps looking between you and Namjoon almost bordering to look crazy in your eyes for a moment.
As if he’s in a deep thought about something mind breaking discovery.
Yoongi didn’t hear his right hand man coming at all but what’s even weirder than that is he can’t hear his thoughts at all.
It all started when he tried to read this woman’s mind throughout the dinner celebration but failed while everyone’s else mind spoke to him clearly. He found it strange for her to be the only exception. As if she has a shield around her mind that doesn’t allow his power to penetrate. The Kim family’s power is to neutralize other powers (everyone is aware of it as the family never tried to hide it) but that can’t be the answer since he could hear their thoughts all the same as you have to be aware of the power you’re trying to block but no one knows that he can read minds.
But now upon making contact with her, he can’t even hear what others are thinking. Which could mean her power is even more rare compared to her family. Everything is quite like it was never before. It’s unsettling but on the other hand, it’s quiet and peaceful.
A realisation draws on him that Kim Y/N might be the key to finally learning to control this power of his that has been plaguing his generation of heirs and forcing them to live a miserable life until they either take their lives or become insane. Her power acts like a tranquillizer almost. Tasting this peaceful silence Yoongi’s hand curves around her waist more protectively. Protective of this silence he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.
He will do anything to keep this woman by his side from now on. He comes to a firm resolution on the spot.
“Be my wife.” To say you feel shocked after hearing that would be an understatement. This is not your usual love confession, and you know it. There’s nothing tender in his words or expression if anything it feels like a business transaction to you.
It’s clear he’s proposing an arranged marriage kind of deal where you both get something out of it but you’re not fond of the idea. In your previous life, you never had a real boyfriend whilst you dated here and there. Someone you could say is the love of your life you never once experienced that feeling, and you don’t want a marriage in your second life without love. You decided to do anything you wanted from now on.
“I’m sorry but I have to refuse your proposal. I won’t marry a man I know is not in love with me and I don’t love him either. This is not something I want.” Too shocked to reply you use that time to get out of his hold and get away before he regains his senses after getting rejected. He probably didn’t think anyone would dare to say no to him as he was aware to be popular with the ladies. This just makes you even more unique as it was anyone else, they would have said yes immediately to an offer like that. Namjoon gets out of your way as you leave, his mouth hanging open still trying to process that the man who notoriously hates women suddenly asked for a lady’s hand in marriage and getting brutally rejected by one at the same time.
The door shuts behind you abruptly and Yoongi massages his temple with his hands trying to figure out what he did wrong for you to storm out like that. Was his proposal not to your liking? What does it even mean to marry the person you love is beyond his comprehension.
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kwanisms · 1 month ago
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Kinktober 「10:15」 — y.jeongin
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» stray kids menu | i.n menu | kinktober masterlist «
wc: 2.9k summary: A year after setting off to find his mother, Jeongin returned to Y/N, finding she had given birth to his daughter. Time skip to another two years later and Jeongin often wakes up to his three year old daughter and one year old son jumping on the bed, shaking him and Y/N awake. It’s not often he gets to spend the morning with his wife so when Clover offers to watch the kits so Jeongin and Y/N can have a weekend away, he jumps at the chance. genres/themes/au: fluff, smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, mentions of: pregnancy & childbirth, mild abandonment issues, missing parent; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.
a/n: i knew when i started planning Kinktober 2024, i wanted to include some sequels and follow ups to some of the Kinktober 2023 fics, Jeongin’s being one of them. I love how his turned out and i hope those of you who remember his first fic like the sequel. Thank you so much for reading. Tomorrow is also a follow up to kinktober 2023 but for changbin. His first fic, I am happy to say, is done and will be going up tomorrow morning. Please stay tuned to see what comes after Changbin! as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
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smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), dry humping, morning sex, unprotected sex (they’re married and don’t mind pregnancy, but if you’re wanting to avoid babies you should use condoms), switch!Jeongin, switch!Reader, mild impregnation kink, use of pet names (hers: my love, etc.; his: Innie, my love, sweetheart, etc.), and I think that’s everything but as always, let me know if I’m missing anything! kinks: Dry humping + morning sex dialogue prompt: ❛❛ Do you really think you’re in a position to give orders? ❜❜
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When Jeongin left you to search for his mother, he never expected his search to take him off the mainland and to the islands. He searched far and wide for any sign of his mother but after nearly a year and a half of searching, he resolved himself to never finding her.
So he chose to return to the one who had shown him love in the absence of his mother: you.
When he returned to your cabin, he found that you were no longer alone. 
He’d been traveling for days, excited at the prospect of a bath and seeing you once more when he finally came across your home and found you outside in the garden, tending to the vegetables. He stopped just before the gate, giving you a smile that you truthfully had missed more than anything. It was as you stood that he noticed the sling tied around you with a small bundle against your chest.
He stared at the bundle with wide eyes and it was at that moment he realized you were carrying a baby. 
He soon learned that the night you spent together before he left, you had gotten pregnant and nine months later, you’d given birth to a beautiful baby girl you named Inari, due to her kitsune and kumiho parentage. Jeongin was nervous at the idea of raising a child but knew deep down that he wanted to stay, raising Inari with you and starting a family.
Marriages between fox folk was normally an affair for the entire village but given that you lived far from civilization and the only family you had was Clover, the affair was much more intimate. You both promised to love, support, and protect one another with Clover as your witness.
After a short honeymoon you returned to life in the cabin with Inari and soon after, you both welcomed a little boy which you agreed to name Hajun. Despite losing his family before, Jeongin now had a new family and for the first time in a long time, he felt complete.
Two years had passed, living in the cabin. You had taught Jeongin what you could about gardening, hunting, and living in the woods. He picked up on it quickly having spent a great deal of time alone. He took over the role of hunting, letting you care for the children and tend to the garden.
Life was great.
Sunlight filtered through the window, dancing over the bed as he slowly started to wake up. His eyes fluttered open, the ceiling of the cottage coming into view as he woke up. He turned his head, a smile crossing his features as he saw you next to him, fast asleep.
Rolling onto his side to face you, he reached over, cupping your cheek, tenderly caressing your skin. He watched as your brows furrowed, eyes fluttering before opening slowly. His smile widened as he watched you wake up. “Morning,” he murmured as you stretched.
“Morning,” you whispered, a smile creeping over your face. Jeongin shifted closer under the blankets, wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you towards him. “I don’t hear any little feet running around,” he said softly as he brushed his lips against yours. A giggle escaped you as he pulled you into a kiss, parting your lips with his and his tongue slipping into your mouth.
You let out a groan as he rolled you onto your back, hips slotting between your thighs as he deepened the kiss. “Innie,” you sighed as he kissed down the side of your neck. “No noise doesn’t necessarily mean they’re still asleep,” you said as he pushed your nightgown up, lips ghosting over your nipple as his tongue darted out to taste it. “I know,” he murmured.
“But it’s still so early.”
You giggled again as he kissed down the expanse of your stomach, drawing dangerously close to your mound. “Just let me have my breakfast,” he muttered as he drew level with your pussy, licking his lips. 
“I’m starving.”
Before he could do anything the door to the bedroom flew open and you quickly rushed to cover yourself as Jeongin sat up, turning to look at the door with wide eyes. “Mama! Papa!” Inari said as she jumped onto the bed. Jeongin sighed heavily watching Hajun struggle to pull himself up before finally reaching down to grab the boy by the back of his shirt and place him on the bed.
Inari and Hajun fell into your arms and you threw an apologetic look towards your husband as he joined you, leaning against the pillows and pressing a kiss to your temple. “Sorry,” you whispered. He shook his head, giving you a smile as Hajun crawled out of your lap and into his. “Papa,” he said as Jeongin scooped him up.
After his failed attempt this morning, Jeongin tried twice more during the morning to have a private moment with you but each time, he was interrupted. The first was when Inari scared Hajun with a worm and sent him running into your arms. The second was when Inari screamed, sending the both of you into a panic only to find Clover had arrived and Inari’s scream had been of joy and not fear as Clover picked her and Hajun up with ease.
You smiled as you stepped out of the cottage, taking Hajun as he reached for you. “I seem to have given you both a fright,” Clover said as he looked over both yours and Jeongin’s faces. “We only thought something had happened,” you replied, bouncing Hajun in your arms. “What brings you this side of the mountains?” Jeongin asked.
“Passing by,” Clover answered. “Thought I would pop in for a visit.” You smiled as you held Hajun who started to squirm in your arms, reaching for his dad. Jeongin stepped forward, taking the boy from you. “You’re just in time for tea,” you said, wiping a speck of dirt from Hajun’s face. “Come on in.”
You headed into the cabin, Clover and Jeongin bringing up the rear. Inside, Clover kept Inari and Hajun entertained while Jeongin helped you with tea. “Did you know he was coming?” Jeongin asked you softly as you prepared and cut some sandwiches. “No,” you answered. “I hadn’t heard anything.”
Jeongin glanced over at your guest before returning to his task. You plated the sandwiches and handed it to him, taking the kettle from him and urging him to get out of the kitchen and out of your way with a quick kiss. Jeongin headed over to the table, setting the plate down as Clover looked up.
“So,” he said, drawing the kitsune’s attention. “How’s life with kits?” Jeongin chuckled as he glanced down at his kids. “It’s great,” he said. Clover tilted his head, his green eyes pressing Jeongin for more information. Jeongin glanced over his shoulder at you as you bustled about the kitchen preparing tea.
“It’s great,” he said again in a softer voice. “I love being a dad. But sometimes I wish I had more privacy and alone time with Y/N,” he added. “I’d like to be able to show my wife how much I love her.”
Clover chuckled as Inari and Hajun both tried to climb up into his lap. “Well, I’m not due back in the village any time soon,” he said softly. “I could watch them for a few days while you and your wife get away for some much needed privacy.” You walked over with the kettle.
“What’s going on?” you asked as you joined them. “Mama!” Hajun called in a tiny voice, his small hands reaching for you. You took him in your arms, cooing at him before picking up a sandwich and attempting to feed him while Jeongin poured the tea. “I was just saying that I could watch the kids for a couple days,” he said softly.
“If you two wanted to get away for a bit.”
Your eyes drifted over to Jeongin who busied himself with preparing your cup of tea. “And why would we want to get away?” you asked, not looking away from him. He glanced up, meeting your eyes before dropping his gaze back down. You sighed and turned to Clover.
“I appreciate the offer,” you started. “But we’re fine.” Jeongin felt his heart sink, resolved to his fate. Clover chuckled. “Of course,” he replied. “But seeing as you two didn’t have the chance to have a proper honeymoon, I’m merely offering before I return to the village.”
You glanced at Jeongin who had finished making his own tea and took a sip, meeting your gaze over the cup. You could see the pleading look in his eyes and considering the amount of times you’d been interrupted by your children and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been intimate, you couldn’t find it in you to deny him this opportunity.
“Alright,” you said, turning back to Clover. “But we have rules in this house,” you added, narrowing your eyes. Clover held up his hands. “And I shall abide by them, no matter how silly they are. Remember,” he added, pointing towards you. “I raised you. I think of all people, I know how to raise fox children.”
After setting boundaries and explaining the rules you both had in place for the kids, Jeongin helped you pack a couple bags and after a tearful goodbye on your part, you were on your way. Clover had suggested a beach side cottage he owned where you would be completely alone.
Rather than taking Clover’s offer to conjure a summoning circle, the two of you chose to take the journey by foot. The beach wasn’t that far from where your cabin was and you could be there in a day if you stopped by the next village and borrowed a horse. The journey wasn’t that arduous or taxing and you spent most of it talking. It had been a while since the two of you just talked without the interruption of crying.
“You think they’re going to be okay?” you asked as Jeongin helped you climb down an embankment. He skipped over the small stream, waiting for you on the other side. “They’re going to be okay, baby,” he said as he held out his hand for you to take. “I feel so bad, leaving them behind,” you replied. Jeongin stopped, pulling you into his arms. “They’re going to be fine, Y/N,” he said softly. “Clover may be immature at times, but he is capable of raising children. He raised you after all.”
You sighed as he swayed you gently. “I guess you’re right,” you replied. Jeongin leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. “They’re going to be just fine. They’re going to have so much fun while we’re gone and hopefully, we’ll have fun, too.”
The rest of the trip to the beach side cottage took almost no time and soon you were walking up the steps and entering the front door. Jeongin had been insistent on carrying you over the threshold and you indulged him only to get him to stop whining about it.
After settling in and having dinner, the two of you crashed hard in the bed, a dreamless sleep taking over the two of you.
The next morning when you woke up, it took you a moment to realize you weren’t at home in the cabin and that you were currently at the beach. You felt Jeongin’s arm around your waist tightened as he pulled you closer. The sun hadn’t started rising just yet so it was still dark and you wondered how long it would be before the sun did make an appearance.
As you tried to get comfortable, shifting and scooting back against your sleeping husband, you felt something hard press into your backside, a smirk creeping onto your face. You were all alone in this cottage. No kids, no Clover. Just you and your husband for three days and nights. You had no plans.
Armed with this knowledge, you pushed back against Jeongin, your ass grinding against his semi-hard cock. He groaned in his sleep. You waited for a minute or two before doing it again. This time, his hips moved to match your movements, arms tightening around you.
“Someone’s eager,” he muttered into your ear in a deep voice. You giggled as you grinded back against him again, earning another moan as he started to grow harder. “You’re already hard,” you replied, turning your head to look back at him. “Might as well take advantage of it.”
“C’mere,” Jeongin said, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you into a rushed, messy kiss as he continued to rut against you. You moaned into the kiss, tongue dancing against his desperately as he continued to grind his hard cock against your ass.
“You gonna keep rutting against me or you gonna fuck me?” you whispered into his mouth.
Jeongin let out a growl, flipping you onto your back before rolling on top of you. He ripped the blanket back, resting his hips between your thighs and rutting against you again, grinding his erection against your cunt. “What are you gonna do about it?” he asked, giving you a smirk and a raise of his eyebrow. He littered kisses along your neck and exposed collar before you pushed him off, rolling onto him and pulling up your nightgown, tearing it off and tossing it aside.
His eyes settled on your bare skin, hands moving up to cup your chest as you grinded your bare cunt against his clothed cock. His eyes fluttered shut as you moved faster, your wetness seeping into the material of his pants. “F-fuck,” he groaned as you pushed his shirt up, pulling it off him and throwing it aside.
You leaned over, continuing to roll your hips against him as you kissed up the side of his neck, stopping to nip at his jaw. “We can go as long as we want,” you whispered into his ear. “Fuck as many times as we want,” you added as you moved to the other side, grinding against him harder as the soaked patch on his pants rubbed against your clit with each movement.
You kissed down the side of his neck, stopping to lick and suck a red mark at the spot where his neck and shoulder met. You continued, littering his neck collar and chest with love bites, his hands gripping your thighs as you teased his nipple, running your tongue over his skin.
“Up,” he ordered, tapping your hip. When you did as he asked, he undid and pushed his pants down, freeing his cock as he shimmied out of his pants, kicking them off onto the floor. He grabbed your hips, pulling you down until your cunt rested against the underside of his cock.
“If you make me cum before the sun rises, I’ll reward you,” he said, urging you to move your hips. You scoffed at him, reaching out to brush his hair out of his eyes. “Do you really think you’re in a position to give orders?” you asked. The condescension in your voice spurred him on.
He quickly flipped you onto your back, pinning you down. “I gave you a chance to be in control,” he said as his fingers toyed with your entrance. “You should have taken it.” You opened your mouth to respond but only a strained moan slipped out as you felt his cock push into you, easily sliding in and stretching your cunt open.
“Oh fuck!” you gasped as he started moving immediately, not giving you a chance to adjust. “Feel good?” he asked, keeping your wrists pinned above your head, his hips snapping harshly against yours. “Yes,” you moaned. “Feels so good, Innie.” Jeongin let out a chuckle before thrusting harder.
“God I missed this,” he groaned. “Missed the way your cunt feels wrapped around my cock. Missed having you under me. I’d start every morning like this if I could.” You whimpered as he thrusted into you harder, cock ramming against your cervix with each thrust.
“Innie,” you gasped, back arching off the bed as your orgasm approached quickly. “That’s it sweetheart,” he groaned as your walls clenched around him. “Cum for me and I’ll give you a reward.” You moaned loudly, hips bucking up to meet his thrusts. “Cum inside me, Innie,” you gasped. “Give me another baby.”
Jeongin’s pace faltered as he moaned, head dropping into your neck as he chased his high, feeling you come undone on his cock. “Yes, yes,” you chanted. “Fuck, get me pregnant, my love.” Jeongin let out a low moan as his hips stilled, releasing into you with a curse, cum painting your walls as you let out a moan of satisfaction, cunt clenching rhythmically around him as you came with him.
“Fuck,” he growled into your neck. He lifted his head as the first beam of sunlight broke over the horizon.
“Do you really want another baby?” he asked, stroking your cheek. You smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t mind another,” you said softly, nuzzling against his hand. “Do you want another?” you asked, looking up at him. Jeongin smiled down at you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Another little pair of feet running around the cabin, interrupting our sleep?” he asked, raising a brow.
“I’d love one.”
Your smile widened as you pulled him into another heated kiss. “Well then, you said when you parted, licking your lips and looking up at your husband. “You have three days to try and get me pregnant,” you continued with a smirk.
“Better get going if you want to make sure it takes.”
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©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.
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bellarkeselection · 7 months ago
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1 - Welcoming the Bridgerton’s
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Part 2
The Venus Muse
Here's the first chapter y'all! I am sorry to say that I couldn't tag some of you that asked to be added. If you could give me an update profile tag I will add you that way.
Buckingham Palace was always busy with something going on. The royal castle had many children over the years running around it. I knew this place better than anyone else could imagine. And that truth will help me change my life forever. 
“Your highness, which tiara would you wish for today?” One of my handmaidens named Sunset asked me. 
She was standing by my table vanity that had quite a few tiaras sitting on top of them. Sitting on my bed the fabric of my golden dress swayed when I walked up to her. “The one with three center jewels and the pearl necklace.” 
“Of course, my lady.” She nodded where I lowered my head and she set the tiara in the center. 
The tiara sparkled when the light bounced off the light coming through the window. I stood in front of the tall mirror eyeing my gown that was golden, short sleeves decorated in lace and was long where you couldn’t see the short brown boots I wore unless my dress flew up from the wind. “Sunset, do you think my mother shall begin pressuring me this year?” 
“It is not my place to speak on.”
I reassured her otherwise. “Don’t worry about prying ears. I am asking for your opinion.” 
“I would say she seeks what is best for you, Lady Y/n.” Sunset answered with a shrug of her shoulders. 
Someone knocked on the outside of my door before another lady in waiting peaked her head inside. “Princess, your mother is coming this direction.” I nodded brushing my hands down the front of my dress. 
The door of my bedroom opened for me to see my mother, Lady Danbury and Brimsley all walking up to my room. “I yearn for someone fresh, someone unexpected,  to turn this season on its head. That is what we need. There is no room for indifference.  Apathy is a blight the monarchy simply cannot endure.” 
“Of course, Your Majesty. But remember, a young lady cannot be a diamond until you anoint her as such. So if for any reason you do not find one among the candidates today…” 
My mother cut off her friend. “Do you think she will return?  We have heard nary a peep from Lady Whistledown since last season ended. Perhaps the writer came to her senses. Perhaps she realized taking on her queen was a bad idea, and she will never publish again.”
Lady Danbury responded. “It is a convincing theory, ma'am.”
“Or she simply left for the country, as the rest of us did in the off-season, bored by the lack of any real gossip.”
Lady Danbury made a noise. “Hmm. “
“You do know what that would make her, then?” My mother Queen Charlotte trailed off. 
I finished her sentence being fair too noisy, needing to listen to the conversation of the famous gossiping writer. “One of us.”
“My darling daughter, you look radiant as ever.” My mother turned away from her friend to face me. 
I sent her a smile waving to Lady Danbury to not be rude. “It’s good to see you, Lady Danbury.” 
“Good to see you too, Princess Y/n.” She smiled. 
My mother clasped her hands together in front of her puffy white dress. “I have been needing to speak with you and what this evening needs to entail for you and your happiness.” 
“You wish for me to marry a prince and provide heirs for the crown.” I rolled my eyes already thinking of the answer she would say. 
Yet to my surprise she said almost the opposite. “I wish for you to have happiness and many children. It would help if your husband was royalty, but it is not a requirement.” 
“It isn’t?” Knitting my brows in confusion. 
She takes my hands in hers. “I didn’t get the chance to search for love on my own. My brother arranged my marriage with your father. So I secretly hope that you, my firstborn daughter, can have some fun.” 
“Mother, I…that means so much to me.” I smiled through some happy tears. 
Footsteps came down the long hallway and around the corner before we saw my father’s servant named Reynolds. “My Queen, my princess. I have news.” He bowed with a hand behind his back. 
“What is it, Reynolds?” I asked him. 
He shifted his gaze to mine. “You're father is having an episode, Princess.” 
“Oh…” I made a noise in discomfort. I knew of his illness 
That was the secret my mother and the rest of my siblings and I kept hidden from thr world. They needed to believe that the king was just always busy and so his wide made the appearances out on the town. “Hmm it appears we may have to cancel the ball tonight for the Bridgertons.” My mother sighed in defeat knowing her husband came first. 
“We shall not cancel.” My mother and Reynolds’s both shifted their attention over to me when I had spoken up the opposite of what they assumed would need to be done. “We should not cancel because I can represent the family in your place, mother.” 
She tapped her chin in thought. “I suppose that could solve our problem. I don't wish to cancel the months of preparation that were put into this.” 
“Exactly that would be a tragedy.” 
The queen turned to her husband's helper with instructions. “Inform my husband I will come to his aid. Brimsley?” 
“Yes, your Majesty.” 
She gave him a different set of orders. “Inform the Viscount Bridgerton that my daughter shall be appearing tonight before myself.” He bowed and went in a different direction then Reynolds. 
“Thank you, mother.” I smiled curtseying to her before we parted for the evening. It was quite a few hours before the ball with our castle subjects and the Bridgertons would even begin. By the evening the moon was shining up in the sky and the grand ballroom was lit up like a christmas tree. 
Standing silently outside the currently shut double doors I stopped fiddling with my dress when one of the royal guards gave me a head nod saying it was time. I could hear the announcer's voice before the doors had even begun opening. “May I present to you her royal highness. The daughter of King George and Queen Charlotte, Princess Y.n of England.”
“Thank you, sir.” I whispered to another guard that came to me when I had made my entrance through the doors feeling all eyes on me. Sucking in a tiny breath he escorted me to the small throne before we unlinked arms leaving me on my own. The small crown on my head had never felt so heavy as it did right now. “Greetings my subjects. I am here to announce that my mother got called away tonight for an emergency. But she saw no reason why this event couldn’t go on as planned. So with that in mind let me extend a warm welcome to Violet Bridgerton and her family for traveling here for a few months.”
Everyone began clapping and cheering with an older looking woman who had dark brown hair up in a crown on her head that came up to me and gave a lovely curtsey. “Princess, it is a pleasure to get an invitation.”
“I hope I can get to meet your family greatly over your stay, Lady Bridgerton.”
“Princess Y/n, may I ask you something?” Someone called my name causing me to lift my gaze up noticing someone moving through the crowd. The figure paused beside the Bridgerton woman who seemed to give the man a confused but amused depression on her face. 
I clicked my tongue and answered the stranger's question. “What is your question, my lord?”
“I was wondering if you would accept my offer for a dance together this evening.” The stranger seemed similar to the woman he was standing beside him. I was fairly certain they were related, but which son was he if they were. 
He extended his hand up to me and I smiled, placing my smaller hand in his larger one. “I accept so long as I know which Bridgerton are you?”
“Benedict, Benedict Bridgerton.” He replied leading me out and onto the dance floor with the entire room having theur eyes focused on the two of us.
Comments really appreciated ❤️
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miguelswifey04 · 1 year ago
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miguel o’hara x blind! wife headcanons
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love language: physical touch…i think miguel would always cup your face, caress you face, gently rub his nose against yours which earns you some giggles, nose kisses, cheek kisses, forehead kisses, and of course regular kisses <3 but he would always go in the order
he may kiss your neck and collarbone and gently trace circles onto your skin to show you his love…you may not see him :( but you can imagine your husband being handsome (like imagine not being able to see your beloved’s face ☹️)
always holding onto you whether he has his arm wrapped around your shoulders or holding your hand whenever you go so you don’t bump into things, now, you’re capable doing anything on your own but miguel is very protective of you
he made sure that whenever you went out in public you had the best technology to assist you wherever you may go & safe to say it has worked wonders for you !! lyla makes sure to check up in on you every once in awhile and reports it to miguel because he a worrisome person (he tracks your location LMAO)
other than that though, you like to paint and draw on your free-time!! you’re very into arts and crafts so you made miguel a big quilt! he was in utter shock because it was very intricate and pretty, very well made done. he made sure to use it whenever he could :) and he cannot thank you enough for thinking about him <3
miguel is your muse 🧚🏽‍♀️
you’re very outspoken and love to play around with miguel in which miguel adores a lot! “i can’t see you but i do know you’re handsome….” “well, how do you know darling?” “i can hear it in your voice” and you both break out in laughter, honestly so cute 😭
another love language; words of affirmation…you always tell your husband how much you love him and how he his your dream man for as long as you could ever remember :( OH! miguel is very good at affirming his love with you, definitely mutters sweet praises whether you’re doing a chore or doing nothing <3
music is a part of your life
miguel has brought you to many concerts to your favorite artists
gabriel is very fond of you and he thinks you’re a very cool person yet he always pokes fun of miguel because he genuinely thought no woman would ever fall for him because of his stoic and serious nature. gabriel refers to you as his sister and loves you like one
“for as long as i live, you’ll always be the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he says it while he holds your ears in his hands and gently caresses them which makes you all flustered and shy <3
tags 🏷️: @kairiscorner @meeom @emiemiemiii @sabcandoit
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7brownsuga7 · 2 months ago
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The God who answers after dark ☆
One - Remember:
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Summary: Time has slipped through your fingers since that last encounter with him—the one where he showed you a side of intimacy you hadn’t known before. His touch lingered long after he left, a haunting reminder of what it felt like to be close to someone in ways you couldn’t fully comprehend. You’ve tried to push it all aside, to erase the memory, but the ache of his absence runs deeper than you expected. Forgetting, you realize, only sharpens the memory, bringing it back with an intensity that leaves you torn between longing and pain. Every attempt to move on is met with flashes of that night, where your body remembered even when your mind resisted. The confusion wraps itself around you, a constant reminder of the vulnerability he exposed in you. You want to let it go, to find peace in his departure, but the harder you try to forget, the more vividly it returns. Remembering, it seems, is a cruel paradox—you cannot forget without confronting everything that you wish you could erase.
Tags&warnings: Jungkookxfemreader, fluff and a bit of smut if you would call it that?!?? Jungkook is obsessed with reader, a bit delusional. Flashbacks, descriptions of penetration. MDNI!!!
Word count: 2k+
Note: took me forever to post this, my bad lol I was procrastinating. Doesn’t have that much smut because idk I’m genuinely tired LOOL? I’m more for fluff nowadays.
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Tag list: @rutukn
The God who answers after dark ☆ series master list: Here ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
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You found yourself waiting for the darkness.
Unsure of which one.
The one that lulls you towards a dreamfell night. Where you feel the most comfortable as the stars and moon shine through your window. Where you feel as if it’s just you, the world so still, so silent.
Or the one that races through your mind like water down/through a stream. That reminds you of the night itself. Everywhere you went he was there. You could feel him all around you just like the night you shared together.
He was in the air embracing you
He was the moon constantly changing, revealing different phases of himself with every passing day. He was the odd comfort you felt when you were out amongst the dark sky.
He was the darkness
You missed both.
Falling asleep before the night even came. And too stubborn to call out his name.
A name that you gave him once when you were younger, that he held onto years past that.
The night was as warm as his touch on you that night. The wind gentle like his hold on you. The breeze caressing your skin like how he did, so effortlessly, it felt right.
You’d never admit you was waiting for a particular presence, as much as you loved the night itself , you’ve grown accustomed to something more greater than that.
And even though you could still talk to the wind and the trees like you used to when you were young, it’s not the same as hearing his alluring voice sink into you.
You waited for him to come. Even though you were avoiding him, you hoped he wasn’t avoiding you.
You wonder if he never came because you never called for him. Or maybe because you’re just another human in his little game.
So you laid there reminiscing. Other times trying to forget. And even trying to keep those memories forever, as you wrote them in your diary.
And when day came you missed his presence, even though he still lingered around. The sun kissing your skin like how his soft lips once did.
You were angry because everything reminded you of him. You couldn’t escape him even if you tried.
So you tried to forget about that night. About him. You decided to forget it and only remember what life was like before.
But what was life like before?
He’s been around for most of it.
You aimed to distract yourself with any possible thing.
But how could you when you can still feel his touch lingering on your skin. Like a stubborn burn that stings and leaves a faint scar.
Before how he made you feel. Before you knew what a man’s touch felt like, what his touch felt like. Having him on you, all around you, inside you.
But he’s not a man…
He’s a thing, something so much greater than what you’ve imagined him to be. And that’s what you try to remind yourself, despite you trying to forget him as a whole.
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It was day again.
You’ve forgotten what night feels like. What it looks like. You miss watching the stars decorate the dark sky. You miss hearing the creatures of the night come out. You miss him… and you miss the quietness the night brought.
The quietness you wish you heard right now as you walk across the busy campus.
Your thoughts run wild, familiar and unfamiliar faces cross your path as you try to reach your destination.
You’re sure you’re loosing it when you feel a familiar presence walk beside you, and feel the familiar chill run down your spine when he says, “Out of all the humans I’ve come across, I always manage to find myself drawn back to you”
You look beside you, once a space of nothing but air now filled with none other than himself.
You’ve been avoiding him as much as you can since the last time you both saw each other. Since you last let him see you in a more vulnerable light.
You didn’t know how to deal with the situation, so you did what you did best and that was avoid.
“You’re not drawn back to me, you simply chose to be here. You can be anywhere in the world and you choose to be on a campus with me” you mutter bitterly.
“Your tone is distasteful y/n. Nothing like how sweet you sounded when you were calling for me”
You pause, stopping in your tracks when you catch the smirk on his face.
“We said we won’t speak about it”
“You said my love. I only make deals, not promises”
Not wanting to feed in to whatever he’s doing, you continue to walk. Not caring if he follows you or not. Still, you ignore the way you feel when you notice him swiftly make his way back beside you.
Time passes.
Just the sound of endless chatter between the people making their daily route, and the faint sound of cars passing by lingers between you two.
It’s nice. It’s not awkward like you had imagined. Tense yes, but when was there ever not tension between you two? It was just right. Like it had been before you both crossed that deadly line. The line you both saw but had never spoke about. The line you had always been curious about, whether you should cross it or not, or let it be just a mere thought you had that you tried to shove to the back of your mind, but would always make itself known whenever you laid in bed thinking of how it must feel to be touched.
“Do you know you’re the only person that’s ever given me a name?”
You peer at him, waiting for him to continue. Your eyes curious as you study the side of his face, wondering why he decided to say that.
His face carved and structured by none other than yourself, yet you always seem so surprised whenever you see him. So in awe at how one’s mind can create such a beautiful thing.
He continues, “I told you before that we don’t get given names, our only identity is the thing we are, the thing we own. For me it’s darkness. I used to love it, it held so much power. It made me feel like I was worth something. Not until you decided to call me-“
“Kook” you say. The name you gave him as a child feeling foreign on your lips. You hadn’t called him that in a long time, deciding to leave that name in the past.
“Kookie” he corrects.
“Hm, well I think you’ve grown out of that now” your tone holds the same bitterness as you continue walking the route to your class.
“I was waiting for you to call on me” his words linger in the air like the aroma of a freshly cooked dinner - warm, inviting, and comforting, making you feel instantly at home .
You’re not sure if you sense a hint of vulnerability hidden within his words. His words seeming more cautious as he continues, “I dont see you staying up anymore. You used to be perched by your bedroom window watching the sky, diary in your hand. Why not now?”
You ignore him choosing not to give him the satisfaction of hearing the truth.
You’ll ever admit that your favourite time of the day is night. That you feel less lonely during that time, less worried and less afraid. You’ll never admit that you look forward to a certain presence that accompanies you during that time.
You’ll never.
Even if he may already know, he’s a god after all.
“Why didn’t you call for me?” His hand catches yours, pulling you to a stop. His eyes are dark, waiting for you to answer him. They mimic the stars. It’s like you’re looking into a galaxy, his eyes holding so many unanswered questions, so many wishes and dreams. You feel yourself falling, falling in everything that is him.
Everything around you turns into night. You feel like you’re stepping on clouds as you get caught up in this little world. Just you and him.
“Why didn’t you call for me?” He asks again and you know it kills him to do that. Pride being one of his main traits.
There’s no escaping this. He’s trapped you.
There was only one other time he’s done this, created a space just for you and him, it’s when you were younger, he took your hand and brought you to this same place, the darkness. It was a way for you to escape your life for a while. He did it without a thought after seeing you cry to him, the hurt in you voice doing something to him that he’s never experienced before. That he’s sure only humans feel.
And now you’re here again, his whole presence surrounding you as his question lingers in the dark.
“Why did you leave?” You retort.
The corner of his mouth twitches, it’s typical of you to brush off his questions.
“That’s who I am. That’s what I do. I come and go. I’m not a constant, I obscure”.
You let his words sit with you, suffocate you, until they seep into your thoughts, twisting your perception, weighing you down with a heaviness you can’t shake.
You don’t blink when you say, “I didn’t call for you because just like you said, You come and go, you obscure. I needed clarity, not shadows” your voice comes out fainter than you had hoped.
You force yourself to look him in the eyes, the deep abyss of what you found yourself always looking forward to see. You didn’t think it was possible for them to darken, but they do, as well as everything around you.
“And yet you still seek those shadows. I know you look for me whenever you see them” his hand delicately brushes against your cheekbone, slowly making its way to caress your jaw. “My dear y/n, you fail to realise sometimes clarity isn’t always what you need. It’s the shadows that show you what’s truly there, hidden beneath the light.”
With his touch still on you, he leans in and whispers, “you seem to have forgotten, let me remind you”
And just like that memories of any intimate moment you both shared flashes around you, flooding your mind, surrounding you in a whirlwind of forgotten warmth. But was it really forgotten?
As the memories flood in, suddenly you're enveloped in the darkness of your room. The air between you crackles with unspoken longing. The world outside ceasing to exist as your eyes meet for a moment.
You blink as another memory hits. You reaching out fingers trailing lightly along the curve of his jaw, feeling the coolness of his skin under your touch. The darkness around you stills as his breath catches while he gently cups your face, his thumb brushes against your cheek with a tenderness that speaks volumes. The space between you two tightens, your breaths mingling as his lips brush yours, forming into a kiss that is soft and reassuring, filled with a promise of deeper want, need.
“Do you remember my love?”
How could you forget? The way your kisses deepened as you pulled him closer to you with your fingers threaded through his hair. The way your pussy would throb just from his mere presence alone. The way his fingers worked on your body, playing you like one of his instruments you know he loves.
He knew your body so well, even when you were still trying to figure it out yourself.
A flashback runs through your mind every few seconds. Filled with images and feelings of what was and what could have been.
His cock slowly fills you, stretching you, every inch making you feel how tightly your body grips him. He's the only one who's ever had you like this, the only one to feel your warmth, to claim every inch of you. You were so wet and ready. Your moans mix with his, rising together in a rhythm, a breathless symphony that fills the space between you. Each thrust draws out another note, a melody of shared pleasure, building in intensity as your bodies move in perfect harmony.
His scent surrounds you, rich and earthy, intoxicating in its rawness. He's everywhere— inside you, around you, filling every inch of your senses. His touch is light, almost ghostly, yet it leaves a trail of heat in its wake, making your skin tingle with anticipation. It's as if even the air between you hums with his presence, leaving you craving more.
You shiver, not from the cold but from the intensity of his gaze as his eyes roamed over you, drinking you in. His fingers brushing along your exposed skin. You remember the way your breath hitched when his mouth followed, hot and wet against your skin, his tongue flicking over your nipple in a way that made your back arch, pushing you closer to him.
His other hand, still on your waist, gripped you tighter, pulling you even closer until there was no space left between you.
The feel of his cool, bare skin against yours was intoxicating, sending a wave of chills coursing through your body. Each slow, agonizing stroke made your breath hitch, your pulse quicken. Every touch, every movement, was a reminder of how deeply he held you captive-body, mind, and soul. His hands explored with deliberate slowness, as if he had all the time in the world, drawing out every sensation, every shiver. You could feel the weight of each moment, the way it lingered between you, an unspoken intensity building with each soft caress, until nothing else existed but the raw, electric connection.
Everything comes to a stop and you find your self short of breath, just like you were that night.
Your mind is a whirlwind, unable to distinguish between what's real and what's imagined. Between what you’ve lived and what you ache to relive. He’s left you tangled in confusion, unraveling every certainty you once had. He hasn’t just unsettled you—he’s undone you entirely. He’s confused you, he’s ruined you.
When you escape the chaos of your mind, seeking the comfort of his familiar eyes, you're pulled back to that night you shared—only to be left alone once more.
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The God who answers after dark ☆
- mimi ☆
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kaeichi · 9 months ago
Text
love is in the air.
. . . and maybe that's why mikage reo can view the world with such clouded, pink-hued vision, and why nagi seishiro cannot breathe at all.
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series. nagi + reader + reo. no gendered terms, but some implications of m! reader. reader likes boys. bestfriend! nagi. valentines/white day. highschool setting. swearing. humor. fluff & angst.
a/n. repost bc it wasnt showing up in tags T-T i js want a shoujo anime w these two as the MLs...
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prev ┊ next ┊ 01 … 02 … 03
⊹ 01 : my dear partner [wc: 4.7k]
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TWO YEARS AGO
“…dude. you're scaring all the hoes away.” 
nagi watches your lips move, though he barely registers anything you've been saying since he has stopped listening a while ago—which, honestly, comes as no surprise to anyone.
there’s no real reason to be so lethargic at this hour (it's already late noon, plus he surprisingly had a decent amount of sleep the previous night for once), nor the time to think about trivial things, but he can’t help but think about how exactly every single thing stopped being so bothersome like it used to.
he can't quite pinpoint what brought on this gradual change, but if he had to, then it’d probably be three springs ago—when he’d wake up a little earlier than usual to the gentle kiss of the sun through his window and the cherry blossoms were in perfect bloom. around that time is when he’d received his quiet companion choki, he’d finally scored top 1 in the leaderboards after months and months of grinding in his favorite mobile game, and… when you’d first sat next to him in middle school.
for as long as he remembers, you were simply just there. an unexpected oddity that has not only forced its way through, but has also wedged firmly into every aspect in his life. and somehow, he’d concluded that maybe some things weren't so bad—that some things weren't such a hassle to him after all.
“move, idiot. at this point you might as well hold my hand.” the snow-haired male barely hears your voice over his wandering thoughts, stumbling from the light shove you give him. he has now become acutely aware of your swinging hand, wary of the close proximity and the faint buzz of static that lingers on his skin. huh. maybe it is better to move away.
still, he’d rather not reposition himself. it’s too much work, he’d like to reason, and it's certainly not because of anything else… maybe. he doesn't really know for sure. what he does know though, is that the space beside him suddenly feels strangely empty. 
when he looks at you to see a pout forming on your lips, he can't help but sigh. you're being unreasonable. there's something that's been nagging his curiosity for a while now, and it took him quite a bit to realize what it is.
“seishirooo,” you whined one day, allowing your head to sink against his mattress, taking up nearly the whole space while nagi sits at the corner of the bed. you came over to his place that day to bother him, stating that you needed some comfort because apparently, “no one ever looks at me. i feel so damn invisible.” he shrugged and offered you his controller, challenging you to a 1v1 with him as a distraction.
“…but i look at you all the time?” he replied.
“yeah, but that's different.” and he would've asked you to elaborate more, if not for the fact that you've been horribly vague about it when he does ask, and the perpetually sleepy gamer only has so much patience before he gives up and decides it's something not worth spending his energy on.
besides, you're always emotional like that. this was probably just another one of your fleeting phases.
it's not until he notices you've been longingly gazing at the couples on the campus, quietly seething under your breath that it finally clicks. now, he may not have the greatest understanding when it comes to feelings and all its complexities, but even he can tell you’re reeking with jealousy.
despite being pushed off only seconds ago, nagi shuffles closer again as he falls into step beside you. even if sparks prick his skin, it feels right in this way. “dunno why you ‘need’ hoes when you already have me.”
“just because i'm into guys doesn’t mean that i like you in that way,” you mutter, sending him an odd glance like you thought there’s something wrong with his head for even suggesting that. not knowing how to respond, he settles for staring right back without a word. 
“what's with that look? you know what i mean, seishiro.” you continue, averting your gaze from him. what look? he asks internally. “it's just, well, literally everyone is getting into relationships. and i know we're still first years, but… it just feels like i’m missing out, y’know? 
“do you really? sounds like a hassle to me,” he shrugs, and it truly does—he never saw the appeal of dumb crushes, of drama nearly every day, of possible unrequited “love,” or of wasting half your time and energy on someone just for it to not mean anything at all in the end. video games sound way more fun, and way less heartbreak inducing.
“you can't say that when you haven’t even experienced it,” you argue, still pouting.
“it’s overrated anyways. being single is better.”
“hah! of course you’d say that, you virgin.” 
“you’re one to talk,” nagi boredly quips. “i’m celibate purely by choice, but you on the other hand… if you really think about it, you're basically an incel.”
nearly choking on your spit, you exclaim, “hah?!”
“you don't even really talk to other guys except for me, and on top of that, you're barely approached by anybody,” he explains in a matter-of-fact tone, oblivious to the way his best friend’s confidence waning rapidly by the second the more he speaks.
“yeah? and who’s fault is it, you cockblocker!” 
nagi simply sticks a tongue out as you flip him off.
right after that, the two of you ended up breaking into a sprint as you heard the clicking sound of heels walking on the tiles around the corner, not wanting to get caught for skipping classes. well, you ran, and just dragged him by the wrist. he felt the warmth of your fingers even through the thick barrier of his baggy sleeve.
PRESENT
you try not to trip and fall face first as a cold hand guides you through the crowded hallway.
it's embarrassing enough as it is to be rushing through the middle of the corridor and pushing past the bodies of random students like you're a main character or some sort, but even more so when the (apparently) most popular guy of the campus that you’ve (never) seen is walking right in front of you.
and it gets even more humiliating when said popular guy has taken hostage of your wrist, leading you away to a more secluded area. shocked, harsh whispers echo throughout nearly the whole floor, and multiple eyes shoot daggers at the fingers wrapped around the sleeve of your uniform, and you’ve never wanted to bury yourself alive more than this moment.
after rounding a corner into a miraculously empty hallway, you finally skid to a stop, yanking your hand away, ready to pounce at the culprit who made you go through all that unnecessary attention. however, before you can get a word in, the refined male bows his head low in front of you, and you find yourself face-to-face with sleek purple locks.
“i’m sorry, but i have no time for dating. i’m really flattered, though. i hope we can stay friends still.” he hurriedly says, hope gleaming in his matching purple eyes.
…what. 
who is he again? and why is he rejecting you?
for some reason, you find the stranger’s gaze too bright that you have to look away; so you do exactly that, tilting your chin downwards instead and letting your hair mask your expression.
after a few beats of silence, he clears his throat. “i'm really sorry, it hurts me to see you look so down… i’m sure we can put this behind us and—”
“nice shoes,” you interrupt, still not raising your head to meet his now confused stare. “i can tell you really love wearing them, judging by the busted, worn out stitches. hey, is it just me or is that prada logo kinda wonky too?”
the male's jaw drops down nearly all the way to the floor.
“pardon me?” he says through gritted teeth, keeping his composure by flashing his usual award-winning smile, albeit a lot more stiffer. “i know i just rejected you, but you don't have to be so hostile…” 
when you finally raise your head, your expression can only be described as terribly and solemnly unamused, unimpressed beyond words.
then, you suddenly lean closer, peering closely into his violet irises with thoughtful hum. an unwilling flush of red creeps on the tips of the boy’s ears, his eyes widening comically at the sudden intrusion of space. “you’ll do,” nodding to yourself, you now grab his wrist and pull him away. “come.”
“w-wait, huh? where are we go—” 
“you're the one who made me late. let's go!”
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reo isn't quite sure why he's the one being dragged away now.
he has only initially planned to gently turn down the person who last confessed to him, whose family just so happened to be related to his father’s business partners—but now he somehow finds himself on a whole date with that person? (the same one who brazenly insulted him by implying his shoes are fake, by the way!)
“i have other plans today, you know…” the heir says, subtly trying to inch away from you.
you tug him back by his sleeve, with twice as much force than he had used on you earlier. “i can imagine, my dear partner.”
“w-what?” reo stutters, and he's cringes at himself for how he's acting at the moment. the usually composed and charming mikage reo, now reduced to a stuttering and blushing mess? how embarrassing.
“normally my best friend would do this with me, but he slept in today.” leave it to seishiro to leave me all alone on the day that actually matters, you irritatedly mutter under your breath. “well, whatever. come on.”
as you and him enter the packed bubble tea shop, the fingers that were wrapped around his sleeve slides down to interlace with reo’s own clammy ones. he realizes this a second too late, and before he has the chance to let go, the clerk by the entrance greets them with an enthusiastic “welcome, lovebirds!”
“huh?!” reo’s jaw slackens, dumbfounded. he’s really starting to hate himself now—it's unbecoming of him, really, but it's hard to process everything when you're so close to him that the scent of your shampoo keeps invading his senses and subsequently messing with his head.
“here’s your special tickets for today. thank you for participating, and happy valentines!” you drag him straight to the back, where the colorful claw machines are set up. reo catches a glimpse of the pink posters set up on the walls of the quaint shop, which reads: couples get free special tickets! today only! …ah. that's why he's here.
“aoi-san… you're gripping too tight,” he says, gritting his teeth together into a forced smile. 
“aoi?” you repeat, your grip finally loosening until you let go entirely. “huh… i see. by the way, what's your name again?”
needless to say, the purple-haired male is beyond perplexed. “is this your unique attempt at a joke or something?”
“come on, rich boy. we've held hands and i don’t even know your name!” 
“right… which i totally wasn't being forced to do…” he lets out an awkward laugh. sure, some admirers of his tend to get a tad excessive, but they were never able to get far with him, much less forcibly drag him out on a date—and it's not even because they want him to spend his unlimited budget on them and spoil them rotten, but just so they can get… a free special ticket for a claw machine. how did he end up getting in this bizarre situation? more importantly, how does he get out?
you simply shrug. “your fault, rich boy. you should try thinking about anyone other than yourself for once.”
“excuse me?” he narrows his eyes, slightly peeved. he's had enough of your rude attitude; potential business partner or not, he hopes that he never has to interact with you again in the future. “stop calling me that. i have a name, and it's mikage reo.”
the way your eyes widen doesn't go unnoticed by him. “and what did you even mean by that?” he presses defensively.
you plop down on the seat, with reo mirroring you as you insert the rouge ticket decorated with pink hearts into the slot of the claw machine. “well, mikage reo. i’m sure you're aware how aoi’s family is important, right?”
yeah, this person is definitely a weirdo, reo muses. who refers to themselves in third person?
“i heard they had connections everywhere… just like you. it's crucial to maintain a good relationship with someone like that, right?” you conclude—that would explain why reo had taken the time to personally talk to “aoi” one-on-one instead of just flat out rejecting them on the spot.
reo tilts his head to the side. “i’m not following…?”
“mikage.” you emphasize, looking at him straight in the eye before turning your attention back to playing. “i’m saying that the poor kid’s still waiting for an answer. your heartfelt and sincere rejection, to be exact.”
a few seconds of silence pass. well, as silent as it can be with the loud chattering of the crowd and the mechanical whirrs of the claw machine you're currently messing with resounding in the air.
“you mean, you're not…” reo trails off, all color draining from his face. “i’m so, so sorr—”
“aoi’s the one you should apologize to, not me. oh, i got a double! how lucky.” you eagerly grab the prize, the limited edition valentine’s merch exclusive to this boba shop; a plushie collectible that comes with a redeemable code for your favorite video game. you want to collect all of them, but you’re broke as hell and you’re only here due to the free ticket. turning to reo, you shove the second plushie to his chest. “here, this is for you. since you did help me out with getting these.”
“ah, thank you…” reo absentmindedly accepts the small toy, still reeling on how he could make such a careless mistake. “listen, i do apologize—”
“i wonder how'd you even mix us up. is it ‘cause we have the same hair color?” you ask, slightly amused because aside from that, you and aoi look nothing alike. your fingers tap on the surface of the control panel, observing reo’s shame-stricken visage. “or maybe… is it because everyone just looks the same to you?”
at that moment, mikage reo realizes two things: (1) maybe he's more transparent and vulnerable than he thinks, and (2) you're dangerous, and it's better to stay far, far away from you. how could you see right through him so quickly? what if that's something you'll use against him?
he doesn't like to admit it, but it's true—in his perspective, everyone's the same. they're just after him for money and status, and at some point, they've all just become faceless, superficial pawns vying for his attention.
and of course, you’re no exemption.
noticing he’s gone quiet, you continue, “but i guess if my world was as vast as yours, i couldn't possibly keep up with everything either, so i get it. i’m not saying i’m in the same situation as you, but i can kind of relate, i guess. i only keep the ones who's important to me close, and the rest just exist and do whatever. i’m selective, but in that way, at least i can give my all to the ones that really matter.”
reo closes his mouth shut. here you are casually saying that you don't matter to him, and while that isn't a lie in the slightest, he still can't help but feel guilty. maybe it's just the people-pleaser in him, or maybe it’s the way the corners of your lips are slightly quirked up and to form a miniscule, accepting smile, but he wants to reassure you, “still, i’m sure you feel that—”
“i don’t.” you don't mind that he didn't know you, because you didn't even know him either—there’s no reason for you to take it personal. you’d be a hypocrite otherwise. “i really don’t.”
you smile at him. he thinks it's out of understanding, but unbeknownst to him you're actually just entertained by how his inner turmoil is so clearly reflected on his expression. “so don’t worry about it. plus, we’re even now.” you add, gesturing towards the prize.
hopping off the stool, you wave at him as you start to walk away. “...happy valentines. i'll see you around, mikage. maybe. er, probably not.”
“wait!” he hurriedly jumps off the stool as well, clutching the plushie in his hand as he follows after you. “i… let me drive you home.” the words stumble out before he even realizes what he's saying. you're probably just using him, and you're dangerous, and you see right through him, and he should stop wasting his time because his actual valentine's date is probably three seconds away from storming out the restaurant he's booked at—
so why is he doing this?
“drive?” you repeat, because of course he’d have a driver. damn rich people, you think internally. “nuh uh. it's like a ten minute walk, and i’d rather save the environment.”
“then i’ll walk with you.”
“you do realize i’m done dragging you for the day, right?” you quirk a brow up, amused; you could've sworn he was itching to get the hell away half an hour ago. “you're free. you can go home if you want.”
reo smiles, a more genial one this time. “i know.”
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“so, you into popular guys now?” 
“hell no.”
nagi narrows his eyes at you. “you’re just into reo, then?” 
while you expected to be grilled first thing in the morning by random people about your apparent relationship with mikage reo (to which you simply replied, “i don’t know who that is, sorry,” and proceeded to run away), you didn't expect to be interrogated by your apathetic best friend as well. 
usually, nagi prefers to be completely silent during the 1st period (and actually all the way through lunch), not bothering to utter more than a few words, but today, he seems uncharacteristically on edge, waiting for you at the corner of the gym with a wrinkle between his brows.
“why are you on a first name basis with him?”
“everyone calls him reo.” he shrugs. “why him?”
“i never said i was into him.”
“then what's all that partner thing about?” he asks, which confuses you a bit. you doubt that reo would go around announcing to everyone how you teasingly called him ‘partner’ and practically dragged him to a date against his will, but it's not like him and nagi are close either, so you wonder where nagi has heard this information from. then, you suddenly recall back to yesterday, where you saw the curtain of your neighbor’s bedroom window swinging side-to-side, as if it was drawn close a mere second before you looked up. 
it seems that your mind wasn't playing tricks with you after all, and that a certain someone was eavesdropping on your conversation with reo as he walked you to your door.
“fake partners, you mean? and it was a just a joke—i met him that day.”
“that day? why are you acting so close if you've just met that day?”
“you're awfully talkative today, seishiro.” 
“i know. it's making me exhausted, and it's all your fault.” he then presses his weight against you, leaning his forehead on your shoulder—as he always does when he's tired and you're within reach. your eyes widen immediately, darting around the gymnasium to see if any of your classmates has noticed.
you don't want people to get the wrong idea about you two. it's not because it kills your chances with anyone due to the assumption that you aren't single (which you still very much are, by the way), or even because of potential issues of being a two-timer due to a certain rich boy—it's just that whenever you get asked if you and your best friend are together, you can't help but flinch from the idea, like ice is being poured inside the back of your shirt. you don’t really know what to call it, but you do know that you've answered the question a hundred times and you're positively sick of it.
“i told you to stop doing this in public,” you hiss, trying to push the giant, clingy sloth off you. “and stop whining, nagi. i’m not going anywhere. besides, i’m not even looking for a relationship or anything like that. not after… you know, what happened during our first year.”
he lifts his head up, frowning at you. “don’t call me nagi. just ‘cause you met a new guy doesn't mean you get to call me nagi.” 
you raise an unimpressed brow. what’s his problem? “only if you stop whining.” 
“…‘m not.” he slurs his words together, only proving your point.
“yes you are!”
“why do you have to be so annoying? you're such a pain,” he sighs, now walking away from you.
“i'm the annoying one?! and don't call me a pain, you—!” without hesitation, you promptly snatch a red ball from the steel ball cart beside you before swinging your arm at him, slamming the dodgeball right to his head. well, you tried to, at least; even with his back facing towards you, nagi only takes one step to the side to avoid it.
“your shitty aim sucks balls,” the tall male comments unenthusiastically, his white fringe falling over his eyes as he gazes at you over his shoulder. his nonchalance only spurs you on, now hauling multiple dodgeballs at him.
“how about you suck my ba—”
“give it up already. you're never gonna hit me.” and nagi actually has the audacity to yawn mid-dodge. of course, it only fuels your irritation even more. you eventually run out of balls to throw, so you mindlessly grab the nearest object to your right and chuck that as well.
…which unfortunately, happens to be nagi’s phone that he's snuck inside the gym, peeking under a face towel on the bench.
“oh, fu—” 
because of your (rightfully) so-called shitty aim, it swung way up high to the left, a few steps away from nagi. in less than a second, he realizes what you have flung at him, and his body moves instinctively; he throws himself towards it, swinging his leg upward and trapping it with his foot with perfect ease before it has the chance to plummet down on the floor.
“why are you making me move so much…” he sighs. “what a pain.” 
“you’re supposed to move anyways, we're in PE. you're welcome,” you smugly reason out. and then not even a second later you fold, shoulders curling inwards as you glance toward his phone; if it weren't for his godly reflexes, you would've broken it. with a small voice, you meekly add, “sorry.”
nagi shrugs in response.
when he saunters over to place his phone on the bench again, a silver glint catches your eye. a small charm swings lightly, small beads of white and black strung haphazardly together attached to the side of his phone case.
“wait, this is…” a phone charm crafted by hand, which is your birthday present for him four years ago. “i didnt know you still had that.”
“why wouldn't i?”
“where was it this whole time? this wasn't here a few days ago.”
“i just kept it in my drawer ‘cause i don’t wanna lose it.”
tilting your head to the side, you ask, “so why'd you suddenly decide to attach it to your phone now?”
he looks away, scratching the back of his neck. “…dunno.” 
eyes dropping into slits, you mutter, “you know, that kinda sounds sus—”
“hey! that was amazing! nagi, right? you should play soccer with me!”
nagi and yourself both turn to the direction of the sudden voice, seeing a familiar figure running towards you, vivid purple eyes gleaming under the gymnasium’s stark white lights.
“mikage?” you exclaim.
ever so slightly, nagi sharpens his usual droopy eyes. “nah.” he immediately says, turning on his heel.
“seishiro? wait, weren't you supposed to be looking for a club?”
“don’t really care.” you follow him, lightly jogging to keep up. as soon as you catch up by his side, the taller male glances at you as he asks, “will you join too?”
is he seriously asking you that… “no?”
“then i won't.” nagi concludes as he continues to walk away from reo.
“hey, wait up!” reo calls out, placing a hand on your shoulder. “ah, i was completely shut down… say, will you help me convince him?”
your brows shoot up as your gaze flicks down where he's casually touching you. after your initial confusion of who he is yesterday, you then recognize him after learning his name—the most popular boy in school, known for his good looks, charisma, and most especially, his wealth. he gets along well with literally everyone, and acts genuinely close with them even if they aren't.
“uh, why should i?”
“remember that limited edition merch you like? i can get you the rest of the collection. in fact, i’ll even buy out the whole place just for you.”
“wha– seriously?” you feel your eye twitch. damn rich people. “it was limited edition. they all ran out of stock already.”
“i have my ways.” well, that's not shady at all. he flashes a grin at your skepticism, winking at you, “anything for my partner.”
and you now understand why he's earned his title. this is probably how he always gets what he wants—with a smile like that, anyone would drop to their knees and do whatever he’d ask. two years ago, you would've keeled over for attention like this, but now, you're nothing but indifferent.
he places his hands on both of your shoulders now, completely stopping you from taking off. wide violet eyes scrutinize your own, making you scrunch your nose at the close proximity. “shouldn't you be begging him and not me?”
“yeah, but...” reo swears he feels an air of animosity radiating from the white-haired male, and that's why he has decided to turn you instead. “you wouldn't leave your partner hanging, right? as partners, we help each other out, riiiight?” he says, dragging his words out.
you lean as far as you physically can from his grip, but he doesn't seem to care, excitedly looking at you with stars evident in his eyes. “mikage, you—” he smiles at you, bright and blinding, and you find yourself withering under his intense gaze. “okay, fine, just—”
“well, that's settled then! they’re joining the club too, nagi seishiro. they can be our manager.” you briefly wonder why he didn't outright offer to have you join the team, but he probably saw how you threw the dodgeballs earlier… though it's not like you have to use your hands in soccer, so what the hell, this is kind of insulting.
“says who, mikage?”
“you're gonna come watch all our games?” he negotiates.
“why don’t you offer that i join the team?”
“ahahaha. haha. hah.” he laughs awkwardly, swinging an arm around your shoulder and ultimately evading your question.
because you were too busy trying to shrug him off, you miss the way nagi’s eyes zero on to reo’s arm around you, wordlessly observing the whole interaction with his lips pressed taut.
you still don’t know why reo hasn't moved away; he's so close that you can see the dark amethyst specks in his irises, the long strands that frame his face are lightly tickling your cheek, and if you lean in even just an inch, you can practically—
“you said anything i want, right?” your voice drops to a low whisper, and reo nods slowly, still seemingly oblivious to the lack of space between you.
“then... what if i said i wanted a kiss?”
reo’s smile drops immediately, recoiling away from you as if you've slapped him, his whole entire face heating up all the way to the tips of his ears. finally out of his grasp, you erupt into boisterous laughter, shaking your head as you leave the flustered boy alone and catching up to nagi.
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likes/reblogs/feedback appreciated ♡
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loremaster · 3 months ago
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i went crazy (as i am known to do) and drew BOTH of each daily prompt for @raincodeshipweek! nothing past PG-13 here. double check the tags for ships below - or if you want to be surprised, jump in and see them all here:
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Hurt/Comfort - Clockmare - I remember a while ago @pixelatedraindrops did a poll over which of the two to draw sick in bed… Halara's cat allergies won out, but I thought the opposite scenario of Fubuki needing recovery from overusing her rewind powers was cute too! This is a very cute ship that needs more love!
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Healing - Kokolight - This is *THE* ship that's all about healing. (Emotional healing at least.) Yuma learns a lot from Vivia about how to embrace the uncomfortable parts of life… and Vivia learns a lot from Yuma about how not to let that diminish your spark. Plus, by the end, they understand what each other’s been through more than any other characters... almost. Also, dat height difference. Good shit.
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Dancing - Aetheria trio - Similar bonding over shared grief here! But this time there's three of them! Big 3 of Cups energy. It's a shame we never really got to see much genuine interaction between Yoshiko, Waruna, and Kurane during the game's story… but sometimes the most fun parts are what we get to imagine for ourselves, hmm? Anyway, yeah. These three are bonded for life. (Too bad it wasn't a very long one...)
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Domesticity - Viviakou - There's nothing funnier than two guys with opposite behaviors. Vivia wedges himself into the crack between the bed and the wall as far as he can. Yakou spreads out and takes up more room than the bed even has. Plus, he snores. Disasters, both of them. …I was going to try and come up with another ship for this prompt, since - spoilers - there'll be more Viviakou later on... but I thought of this image and laughed hard enough I couldn't not draw it!
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Sun/Rain - Yakou/Amaterasu Researcher. - One of the happiest moments of Yakou's life was when his wife got him a boat for his birthday. A whole boat!!! A portable office! Never had he felt so loved before. …Never has the sun shone that brightly again. He hates the rain.
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Stars - Clockbolt - Fubuki is staring out wistfully at the rain clouds, lamenting that she cannot see her star - the one her parents bought for her. But luckily - “Don't worry, Princess, I'll be your star…!” says Desuhiko. Bolder, brighter, and much, much closer than her faraway prize…Yeah, I think Fubuki would eat that up. This is a fun ship. I like that Desuhiko - against all odds - treats Fubuki like a person. And ironically I think that would make her like him more!!
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Flowers - Furroughs - What else could I have drawn for 'flowers,' honestly? It's a cheap bouquet of Black-Eyed Susans! I can't see this as a healthy relationship, honestly, but that's what makes it fun! Imagining them as childhood friends who used to be really close but grew apart in adulthood strikes just the right chord of melancholy with me. Even more heartbreaking if you see them both as trans - imagine Yakou's so excited to have a friend like him, and then as soon as Seth transitions he's like "you don't know me. never speak to me again." Mmm, I do so love to put Yakou through the wringer.
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Memories - Yumagami - Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I imagine Yuma goes through phantom pains after their pact gets broken, not knowing whose laughter keeps ringing through his ears, what's up with that tingly spot on his cheek, or why he can't look at a barrel without his face feeling hot. (Though, he's probably astute enough to put together the clues...)
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First Times - Viviakou - The first time Yakou heard Vivia say that catchphrase, it didn't feel very good.
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Final Moments - Viviakou - ...The last time didn't feel very good either.
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Swap - Vivia/Amaterasu Researcher - Okay, hear me out. If Yakou had managed to run up that hill, make a deal with Kodaka, and get him to swap their places - that is, he dies while his wife survives and becomes Chief of the Nocturnal Detective Agency - I think Vivia would think the same of Mrs. Furio that he did of Mr. Furio (that is, helplessly smitten). EXTREMELY underrated. Please ship this with me.
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Alternate Universe - Zilara - My personal pet rarepair!!! Alas, our two confident creature-lovers have been kept from each other by the cruel hands of fate. So, I cope by drawing them getting fancy little drinks together. This is an homage to Boba AU, of course, but honestly, while drawing this, I was picturing them as students at the local prestigious college campus. Maybe they're members of frat Alpha Beta Omega or something.
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Past/Future - Makoyuma - This one's more of a concept/pitch than a fully explored scene, but hear me out: time travel AU. What if Yuma meets a mysterious masked stranger who turns out to be a tech-savvy time traveler from a destroyed future... but then also turns out to be himself, somehow? How is there someone who looks exactly like him, 5000 years from now? What's the connection between Yuma and Makoto? And why are they so drawn to each other?
...The last prompt for the official Ship Week is a free day - so I'm going to take the day off! Though, there are a lot of other ships I lament not shouting out here - Kokobolt, Kokomare, Twimare, Fubugami, just to name a few!!! But I'm gonna give myself a break for now. Don't worry, you'll see more art from me soon - maybe even print versions of this, and some of my other Rain Code fanart. And if there's a specific ship or scenario you really can't wait to see... my commissions are open! ;D
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s-soup111 · 10 months ago
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If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I would walk in my garden forever.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
Paring: Jinshi x (f) reader
Genre: angst
Tags: Break ups, death.
A/n: I swear I don’t hate Maomao, she’s just a victim of hate in these ffs 😔
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He could spend years waiting for you, he really would, he’s probably still waiting for you now, even if he is delusional enough to think you’d love him back. It’s his fault he knows, “Please, please don’t leave me here alone!” Those were your last words he heard as he left you in his flower garden in the harsh coldness of winter. That was some time ago. You were attached to him; yet, not lovers, something he holds dearly to his heart but not something that is really his.
He knows himself, even in the warm and welcoming sun’s of summer, he still can’t seem to let you go. He’d had countless proposals, however none of them loved him as you did. “I miss you, do you miss me?” He laughs at himself, why would you miss him? After all, he did leave you with nothing but hate in his heart, or that’s what he tells himself. “Everything is temporary, this is merely one of those things.”
He becomes interested in the girl named Maomao, you watch from a distance, he smiles at her as he’s smiles at you once a season ago, perhaps you miss that, perhaps you did. Maybe you did feel jealous when he’d unconsciously touch her back as they’d walked down his flower garden together, the flower garden which you shared your first kisses.
It was indeed quite strange to see him act with her in such a familiar way, as if he’d been with her all his life instead of you. He’d hardly look at you when you walk past, maybe this was fate. You wasn’t sure yourself. “You deserve better than me.” Those were his words on that day. Unfortunately, you didn’t care, you didn’t care that he was only pretending; you didn’t care that you could do was blame yourself. You cared so much that you cried so much until your face dried.
“Did you even love me?”
He saves her, he saves her life instead of yours. Though, he watches you as you fall with no sort of emotion in his eyes, you stare at them back; full of betrayal and hate you saved up just for him. You live, you live knowing that he never did truly love you. He lives, he lives too knowing that you will never love him again as you had once before.
He faults once and once again, no longer can he read your face easily as he used to, he cannot find if you are happy or sad, angry or joyous; you walk normally but with nothing left inside of you, soon you will surpass the marriageable age and will be sold off to a man of high status, he feels uneasy at that thought. But he cannot bring himself to talk to you.
When you see him hold her hand, you break a sob. You cover it with your hand- he looks so happy, how dare he. Remain as composed as a lady should, that’s what you should remember. Never let a mere servant bring you to your knees. He hears you though. He knows it’s you and stiffens, Maomao asks him if he’s alright and offers him her arm but suddenly notices what’s wrong. She sees you from the corner of her vision, and quickly lets go of Jinshi and ushers off without a word.
He remains shaken as you walk up to him silently and with grace. He can feel you behind him. “Oh, my Lord, I didn’t know I would find you here on this fine day, what are you doing with that..girl?” You ask. He prays you don’t see him visibly shaking. “Are you alright, my Lord?”
He doesn’t know what to feel, is he alright? Surely he should be, after praying for your return..but something is stopping him from replying- a stone stuck in his throat, preventing him from speaking. “I love you, I love you so much and I hate it.”
He doesn’t know why he still holds onto you, no longer does he watch you from afar, but he does question himself sometimes, if he should’ve said it. He remembers your astonished expression, but still he couldn’t read what you were saying from your face. He looks at the stars with a pitiful gaze, how pathetic of him to feel this way. “Don’t worry about me. I can handle my heart myself,” he whispers to himself as the clouds form and rain fall, staining his robes.
He notices you some paces away, staring into nothing- towards the heavens. You look breathtaking. You were beautiful, not like those ladies in story books. You were beautiful for the way you thought, you were beautiful for the way your eyes once sparkled when you talked about something you loved. You were beautiful for the way you could make him smile even if you were dying just a little bit each time. No you wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as your looks, you were beautiful for something deep down in your heart.
You stood there in the rain, its coldness piercing your skin through your thin layers of silk. Jinshi runs towards you, you hardly notice him however. He breaks you so well, so easily as your love was and forever will. Easy to love yet just as easy to break. You can’t love him, you don’t know how to. Love is fleeting, just like birds. One second they’re there, another and they’re gone.
He notices the blood that spreads like wildfire from your chest as you pull out the knife.
“Your love was torture, and I loved it all too much.”
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jetspikepub · 8 days ago
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No one ever really talks about it in the fandom and it NEEDS to be discussed because it's hilarious to me. I have to ask where all the crazed spike x julia fans come from 😭 like say one thing negative about the ship or ship spike with someone else and there's this one person (who I think owns multiple spikexjulia accounts snd pretends to be different people😭😭) that starts sending their "CAnoN aNd facTuAL eviDencE" with so much hostility
I've also noticed that Julia fans either always hate Faye and/or don't give a damn about Spike's well-being and just want him paired up with Julia even if that costed him his life, which I don't even think Julia herself wanted for him to do in the end lol. It's a little disturbing
Oh trust me, this is a looong story. It's not like we don't see it, we just got tired of it. You're not alone, I give you a warm hug🫂
This user has been terrorising Bebop fandom across multiple platforms since 2022, I think. If you ever see this bitch harassing someone just flag the account or ban it. A collective appeal could do the trick, but it's gonna be like chopping off Hydra's heads. This pain in the ass keeps posting weird commissions on X (Twitter), Deviantart, Reddit, Pixiv (for Christ's sake, please DO NOT search Bebop tag on Pixiv, it's a total disaster in there right now) and edited Bebop wiki, describing Faye as Spike's no 1 enemy and Julia as a goddess of doves and roses 🤢 It's hard to track down every account, the only way to stay safe is to not interact with them and blacklist. "If I ignore it, maybe it will go away" tactics is the best in this situation, don't let them take away your time and emotions, they cannot be reasoned with.
Another thing that bothers me is that stupid localisation of guide books with SpikeJulia nonsence the translators added just because they wanted to and ruined the original idea that implies multiple ways of story perception. I've aready dispelled that "truest lover ever" myth by presenting the original texts from my collection of Japanese books. They fucked up with "love" kanji meaning in Eng and this changed a lot (I did some analysis here and here). Now we can see what happens when these love stories fall into the wrong hands: haters cite it like a Bible in each and every thread about SpikeFaye😩 Also there was a post about some Julia's love letter to Spike (wtf?) written on the back cover of the vol. 6.
I wanted to make a post about it and took pictures of a Japanese edition but forgot. Now it's the right time to dispel another myth.
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According to quick translation results, this guide was made to inform fans about some Bebop episodes which weren't aired on regular TV and appeared later on WOWOW (premuim satellite broadcasting) because of censorship.
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There was no mention of Julia writing letters to Spike in the original series. It was Spike who gave her a note describing rendezvous point or whatever and she tore it to pieces🤷🏼‍♀️
Just remember: Spike's well-being is up to the viewer. Noone can convince you otherwise if you don't want to and noone has right to insult you. Spike is for everyone 🌸
The situation is so annoying, those who loved SpikeJulia or didn't give a damn about them now hate this. If someone is going to use "SpikeJulia" as a safeword I will understand 🤣
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